


Denouement...

by tashawrites



Series: Super Natural Fic Series : Youngjae's. [4]
Category: Day6, EXO, GOT7, Monsta X, exid
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 15:37:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 236,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11694702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tashawrites/pseuds/tashawrites
Summary: Teacher Choi Youngjae has lived through a lot of drama, the drama of first loves, second loves with big secrets and now he has a huge secret of his own. The man is tired of complicated and is looking for a simple life, but he can look as hard as he wants, the easy life wasn’t meant for him.New loves and old loves complicate Youngjae, as he tries to adjust to being a drainer who lives out in the public. Enemies from the past threaten to disrupt the peace and safety of those around him. Will Youngjae be able to step up and become the one he was destined to be?





	1. ...GRINDR

Youngjae's POV

 

“Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather” that’s what the writer John Ruskin once said about weather. I wasn’t sure if I had ever found snow to be exhilarating, although I did find the first fall of small to be a beautiful sight, the results of it landing and melting weren’t what I would call exhilarating. I wouldn’t call rain refreshing either, not when it was pelting down and ruining clothes or electrical equipment that I had foolishly left outside overnight.

 

The aftermath of rain however was something I did enjoy, the smell of the rain as it sinks into the soil and evaporates. It was enough to sometimes clear a cluttered mind; I was often afflicted with a cluttered mind. Often with small meaningless thing, worries and concerns for events that would never occur. I had become a worry wart of late, in childhood and late teens I was the type to jump into things. The type who would run out into a blazing fire if it was for someone that I cared about, now I had grown more hesitant.

“Sunshine is delicious...” I mumble to myself through dry lips, before licking them slightly and leaning back from the window. Flopping back down on the bus’s cushioned and polystyrene back. There wasn’t much left in my journey, but it felt like it was dragging, even with my playlist of music and data on my phone to keep me busy.

Today was a Sunday, I was taking a bus from my home town of Mokpo to the sunny Busan. It was the summer break but I had been summoned to waste a week in Busan. So reluctantly I sit in the back of a really tatty, questionable but also cheap form of transportation. It could me from point a to point be, and as long as I got there in one piece, then I could ignore the foul and suspicious smell that had lingered through most of the journey.

Five hours of half breathing through my mouth and not using my nose were working out well for me. I hadn’t much left to endure until I finally reached Busan, from there I would take a taxi to the hotel and hopefully enjoy all of my sense. Fortunately, there was quite a beautiful view as I passed, by it was like something that you would see in a fancy photo book. The sights were lit up by the sun which had been consistent all day, from the early morning to the late hours of the evening.

Summer was in full force, but the weather wasn’t too hot. It had calmed down this week, from the intolerable humidity, to what it was now. It was pleasant, breezy and had made the bus ride there endurable. There weren’t many passengers aboard so it didn’t feel stuffy as I had expected, I was able to have a whole back row to myself and my belongings. Being trapped on this bus for a few hours was made less uncomfortable with all the space that I got to myself on the back, more stretch room for my legs.

Initially I had planned to spent my two week break alone, the first part I would use to lock myself up and finish up all the marking and class preparation for the next semester. Once I was done with that I would use up the next week to do all the things I never had time for in term time. Being a teacher was often a very stressful and draining job, the pressure of not only teaching hormonal children as well as ensuring they met targets set for them by their parents as well as the school.

Sometimes it had me close to tears, but other times when they graduated and left with the results that they had wanted or better, there is a brief moment of satisfaction and smugness. Of course it was brief because not long after those children graduated, then I had to work on the syllabus for the next year of kids that roll through and each time the results were expected to get better. In order to keep my job, I had to be motivated to improve the results of the children that I taught, no matter what.

Frazzled and poorly paid, the life of a teacher wasn’t the ideal one, but it was job that paid and I often had bills that came in at the end of the month that I needed to pay. So that’s what I did, I worked hard, I got the results needed after a lot of hair pulling and then I paid my bills and at the end of it I hoped that I could at least enjoy a two week break from school. But that’s not the life I live, it’s not the luck that I was blessed with unfortunately.

Months prior to the arranged school break, our school authority principle Shin the signer of my pay check. Informed the staff that had no child care issues or previous commitments, that for a week, we would be going to a work retreat in Busan all expenses paid for the school, Harbour preparatory High School. The school for the elite’s children, those who would ending up running the town or the country even in positions of power, they were some of the brightest minds in the country.

“For synergy within our team, we must get to know each other” so that’s what this whole week would be. Five whole days in a hotel booked near to the ocean doing day activities, team building games and activities and bonding exercises. It sounded a little lame to me, but at least we would be clocking off at 6pm and allowed our own free time. We would have half of our days eaten up, but at least we would be getting paid for it.

The move to get teachers on this seaside retreat was one from the higher ups who had seen results from other schools try it before, and seen success from it. If they were success, then our eager and determined principle Mrs Shin Minah would try it. The elder was someone who liked to switch up things, to try out different approaches in order to improve herself and the people around her. Normally I found her to be admirable person, she was the example that we should all follow.

However, when it came to ruining a two-week holiday for me, I wasn’t behind any of her plans for betterment. I’m sure the school could survive without us taking this trip, but I had been given no choice. Although I hadn’t been threatened or told it was mandatory, it was my understanding that anyone who didn’t attend wouldn’t be looked upon favourably at work and that would make any favours or requests harder to put in later on. Not that Principle Shin was someone who was petty, not consciously anyway.

“Enjoy your stay” the chubby bus driver smiles amiably at the customers as we file out of the bus, the five and half hour journey was finally over. We had arrived to our destination; it was late at night. The sky was coloured with purples, oranges, and reds which make for a gorgeous sunset. It was really something that I had to take in whilst I wait for the taxi.

This week would be very frustrating, but I would however smile through it and do my best to play along. I knew that I would look like a grinning maniac next to Im Junhyeok, the man was the most miserable man I had ever met. He would be coming around later on, for now I was on my own and I needed to settle into Busan, I didn’t know the town well but I would have to take a taxi to the hotel. I wasn’t sure how long I would have to wait, but I didn’t mind. The weather still warm but breezy, it would be pleasant weather for me to wait in for my taxi.

Aware of how forgetful I could be, I double check that I had everything that I would need. I had my change of clothes, two outfits for most days and a few shirts and shorts to sleep in at night. I had my laptop for the work preparation I was planning to try and get done in the night, I would be making sure that I got my week off, so I would get my work preparation out of the whilst I was still in Busan.

Once I reach Busan I text fellow teacher and close friend Im Junhyeok, he was the history teacher who loathed the idea of this retreat as much as I did. In a school with much older educators, Junhyeok and I were around the same age, give or take a few years and so we naturally gravitated to each other and not on very well. We did socialise with the other staff, but with Junhyeok there were no airs and graces, no worries about age and hierarchy, we spoke to each other comfortably.

The elder was making his way to Busan with a ride with his car, he had offered me a ride together but due to his busy schedule, he wouldn’t be getting into town at a late hour. He would be in Busan in time for our retreat start tomorrow, but I didn’t want to be have a late night travelling, so I took the bus. If I was lucky I could be cheeky and ask the elder for a ride back, I’m sure he would oblige his favourite colleague.

“I’m on my way” the elder teases me. He would be heading straight to the hotel which wasn’t far from the bus station. It takes me five minutes from the taxi to the hotel and the fair is very reasonable, my arrival is very smooth sailing until I finally reach the hotel that the school had booked all it’s staff in. Most of our rooms were spread across different floors, earlier when checking with other staff, it had appeared that I had a room on a separate floor from other staff.

Being on a different floor from other staff wasn’t something I was upset about, when I thought about it, there was relief. There would be less run ins and excuses to socialise in our free time, I was free to go roaming without having to be polite and check in on neighbours. It would be very good to be on a different floor, and I couldn’t wait to get to my room.

Only I would have to wait a little longer. As is the way of life, the queue to the front desk was moving smoothly and with no problem when there were many people in front of me, but the second I reach the front of the queue things start to slow up. The person whom I was waiting to check in with holds the queue to hold not only one-person phone call on the business phone, but she also involves a multi-tasking co-worker.

That colleague multi tasks talking to the woman who was holding me up as well as flirting with a handsome customer who was checking in. I couldn’t fully see the tall and slightly broad man’s face, but I could tell that he was handsome all from his striking and sharp side profile. With high cheek bones and lips that looked like they were in a permanent scowl, his intense eyes stay the same as the woman flirts with him.

Despite being held up in the queue, the sandy blonde man with an undercut continues to catch my attention. His fashion sense was something to envy, he somehow made a dress shirt paired with a pair of skinny jeans and black pair of trainers look like high fashion wear. He had a good body, all the positives about this man not only had my attention but that of a few women and men in the surrounding area. The woman serving him has it the worst, she giggles, shakes and flips her hair doing her best to attract him.

As fate would have it, I don’t get the chance to see how things pan out, as the woman who was holding me up for her person conversations abruptly interrupts my people watching. She calls me forward to check in, when I get to the front of the desk, I see that her name is Park Jisoo. She was a pretty with her curly brown hair flowing past her shoulders, petit and curvy woman, with big bright eyes and pouty lips. Despite the fact that she had been the one to keep me waiting, I receive no apology.

“Room for one?” the woman loudly announces with a smirk, as if to embarrass me. But yes, I would be in my paid for room and she would be down here serving customers with her dank attitude. Despite her profession she is incredibly blunt and rude throughout our whole exchange. It was something that I would be happy to write in whatever customer experience survey the hotel would have me write before I leave. I make sure to note down the woman’s name, and get my petty revenge later.

In the corner of my eye I catch that the handsome man with the sandy blonde hair was no longer there, as does the receptionist Park her eyes hold disappointment. She turns to me and there flashes a bit of resentment, as if I was to blame for her having to do her actual job and serving me. This woman was ridiculous. But I don’t comment, I didn’t want to hold myself up and be in the presence of this woman any longer.

So I quickly sign in and head off with my key card provided to me by the very surly employee, before rushing towards the lift. I hadn’t packed too much in my small luggage, so it’s easy to move around with it, as I put the bag on its wheels and run and roll to the lift which is dangerously close to closing when I run to it. Fortunately, an arm swiftly moves to block the closing doors, someone from the inside had stopped it for me.

“Get in” the man waves, he smiles immediately sending flutters in my stomach. It was the man from before at the reception desk, as I join him inside the lift I find that he is even more striking and handsome up close. His smile dazzles very briefly before he quickly turns his attention to the phone. I breathe a sigh of relief, thanking the stranger, before reaching to press my floor number which has already been pressed, by the stranger I assume.

We were going to the same floor, 13 floors above. I look away from the stranger, his eyes weren’t on me but still I didn’t want to look at him. If I did then my eyes would be glued on him, if I kept looking at him it would make things so embarrassing. So for right now I was just going to focus on the things that I needed to get done for the night, I wanted to enjoy a few hours on my own in peace before the next day ahead.

The lift dings when it gets to my floor, when I glance at the stranger he looked immersed in his phone, so I step out first. My room would be at the far end of the hallway, so I start to make my way down the hall. As I do, I hear behind me some footsteps, it was the man from before. As I glance back I see that he’s still looking on his phone, but walking as well.

Even though we were on the same floor, part of me wonders if he’s even following me. He keeps walking behind me, not even glancing up from his phone which is pretty strange considering that the man should be looking for his room. It was strange but I keep walking until I reach my door, I put down my bag and search my pocket again to for my room key. When I look up in the corner of my eye, I spot that the handsome stranger had also stopped and he was in front of the room next to me, with his own card.

My heart skips a beat, but is also relieved that he was some kind of psycho stalker. It’s not like psycho stalkers couldn’t be handsome, but the fact that I would have one was a bit conceited of me to think. When the man looks up and briefly glances up, I feel an embarrassed flush slowly creep its way up my neck. He had no idea what I had been thinking, yet I was acting guilty. Giving the man a brief polite smile, I turn to open the door before heading inside of my room.

The hotel room was pretty nice, I didn’t know how the school could afford to splash out on so many rooms, I hoped it wasn’t a waste of school funds. Either way I couldn’t’ and wouldn’t complain about it, the room was cush, full of warm colours, soft furnishings and also it smelled good. There was a double bed which I set down my luggage on, before plopping myself down. I reach down in my pocket, before looking for my phone.

Searching around my pocket, I finally pick out a phone and I check my phone I find a text from my mother. The elder had over the years become a bit more familiar with texting, she had even gotten a little cuter through it, using emojis and slang.

Mum: Choi Maknae, did you get to the hotel safe? 8D

Whilst reading my phone, I can’t help but grin. It had been a few years now but slowly and surely my relationship was great again. We had hit a rough spot when I had come out to my parents, they had disowned me and I had returned to Seoul, hurt and disappointed.

For many years we bumped heads over my sexuality, they continued to deny and denounce and my existence. Years passed and all that was left was bitterness and resentment, and that eventually turned to sadness. I was sad and mourned the loss of the people that I loved and the people who had loved me and raised me. So with the help of Jinyoung and my siblings, we managed to set up a meeting to clear the air.

It took many attempts at meetings before both stubborn sides broke down, before we both gaze each other leeway and understanding. I tried to understand my father’s side of things, to understand that they didn’t hate me but they were worried, they worried about how people would receive me. They were concerned about how the world would receive me, how society would treat me and them, I understood them.

My parents also eventually started seeing things from my point of view, they began to realise that I was born the way. That sexuality wasn’t something that could be chosen, nor was it wrong and sinful. In the end they saw me with Jinyoung, we had been together for many years at that point. They saw that I was in love and so they decided that was more important than any religion that they believed in. It also helped that my boyfriend of the time was also super religious, breaking down their stereotype of homosexuality and religion not mixing very well.

It took years but eventually our relation became better, and it’s gotten better step by step. My parents were there for me in times of need, they were a huge support in the dissolution of my relationship with Jinyoung. They supported me through a broken heart, and to this day they have stayed supportive to me.

My mother worried about like she had in the past, my father was still the man who was trying guide me on the right path. The definition of the right path had changed for him and wasn’t as rigid as before, something that I was glad for. Even though I had moved out of the family home and was now living independently in a one-bedroom flat in Mokpo’s city area, my parents still kept tabs on me, they asked for updates for their own well-being. So I obliged and kept them up to date about the little things, at the very least they would know that I Was safe and not to worry about me

Made it here safe, should I get you some Dwaeji Gukbap? :D

I don’t wait for a reply, instead I head over to the shower room. It was a compact, shiny and pristine shower room with a bathtub. There was no life nor personality to show in the room, but it didn’t need personality. On the side of the bathtub, I find in the bathroom there’s a hamper with shampoos and body wash. I take the hamper out, before I start running the shower.

Swiftly, I take off my clothes. The day had been long and a little sweaty before climbing inside the tub, I wanted to wash up and get cleaned before ordering myself something to eat. The packed lunch was delicious but I needed something to tide me over even until the next day. So I make my shower quick and useful before heading out.

Once I feel fresh and a little refreshed, I get dried up and use one of the hotel gowns. I didn’t need or want to unpack my bags for any clothing, so the gown would do to sleep in, plus it was too hot for anything else. I would probably end up sleeping naked.

So I make myself comfortable on the hotel bed and search my phone for the closest take away shop. I put the television on and the first channel that plays is a new channel, and on the national news was a short piece about drainers and their growing attacks in the non-metropolitan areas of Korea.

The piece was trying to be objective, but as I watched on I could sense the bias against drainers. Irritating, I switch the channel before my mood is completely focus. I turn my attention from a cartoon and look at the take out menu that I had found on my phone.

As I scroll through the options wondering if the hotel would allow take away to be delivered, I hear a knock at my door. Bizarre, I hadn’t ordered any food, and I don’t think I’d dropped or forgotten anything anywhere. Why would anyone be knocking at my door? I get up and make sure that my gown is covering what needs to be covered, before opening the door. I realised that I could have peeked through to check who it was but I had made an assumption that it wasn’t anything to worry about.

On the other side of the door I find; stood in a pair of shorts and a vest top with fluffy slippers. He was attractive, and up close I can see his skin was golden and tan, his hair was slicked back away from his face. On the man’s face slowly appears a handsome grin, it’s not as fleeting before, it’s more present and makes me flutter a little. Right in front me, face to face this man was so striking that it was flustering me a little bit.

“You’re him right? Your name is Tuan Mark, are you a foreigner?” the man had not too deep a voice, it hits me in the chest but it wasn’t overwhelming. I liked the sound of his voice. Wait, what was I thinking about? Why was he calling me by my best friend’s name, he was using Yien’s English name too which was strange no one but his mother ever called him by that. I’m a little confused something that seems to register with the blonde stranger.

“Is this you then?”, the man turns his phone to me and on his phone is a Grindr app. On the app was a profile that belonged me, only it didn’t belong to me because I had not been the person to start or put the profile up. No it smelt of someone who enjoyed embarrassing me at any opportunity. My idiotic best friend Tuan Yien had threatened that if I kept being single and alone that he would actually do this, that he would set up a dating website profile for me but I foolishly didn’t take him seriously, that or I didn’t have the time to take him seriously.

“So you’re not the versatile, looking for fun and cuddles?” the man reads off the profile, and right there and then I wish that the ground would swallow me whole and chew and spit me out. How embarrassing was it that I was being plastered across the internet, under a false alias with some embarrassing tid bits up on display for the public. I would give Yien a dead arm next time I saw him, for now only curses would get me by.

The man watches me with a lopsided grin upon his face, he looked so handsome just in his casual outfit.

“I think you’re cute” the stranger says surprising me, it had come out of nowhere. “You’re charming” the words baffle me; I was never really good at dealing with compliments from handsome strangers.

How does he even know that I’m even charming? “We’ve hardly even talked? When I relay those doubts the other man chuckles.

“We’re talking now and I’m charmed”, I look the man in his eyes to see if there’s even a bit of something distrustful in his eyes.

“You’re very straight forward” I tell the man. “It’s the best way to be!” the man confidently replies before stepping forward.

Closing in the gap between the two of us, he was only mere inches away from me, I could feel his breath on mine. My heart fluttering starts up again, this stranger was really making me flutter. His tongue wipes across his teeth, he smiles as brightly whilst his eyes were glued up ono my face.

“Okay, so I’ll put all the cards on the table” his fresh and minty breath is stronger the closer we are. “I saw you there at the reception desk with that ignorant receptionist”, unable to resist, I smile as he seemed to agree with me more or less about Park Jisoo who I would be leaving a bad comment about before I left.

“I thought you were cute and of course I recognised your face but I couldn’t really pinpoint where from” the stranger goes off into a little tangent about how he decided to on Grindr.

The stranger explains that he read my biography he thought I was charming and now he thinks I’m even more charming.

“Anyway the moral of the story is that I want to fuck you tonight, right here in your room or mine whichever one was best for you” my breath hitches at those words. There is a brief silence between us, we share a charged moment. I don’t know how to react.

It’s not like I was totally innocent; I’ve had offers like this before. They were straight forward, stranger on stranger and sometimes I had accepted it but right here, right now I really was flustered by him.

Briefly there is a silence between the two of us, and somehow it doesn’t feel awkward, not at all. Not even when the man leans forward completely closing in the space between us, he leans in and kisses me on the lips. It’s a soft, gentle and persuasive kiss.

As soon as his lips touch mine, my eyes are closed which was usually a sign that I liked it. That I was shut off one sense to make the one attached to the lips become stronger

Parting my lips with his, the man slips his tongue inside of my mouth. He coaxes out my tongue out with his own, the kiss was soft and gentle. I relished how good he smells, he smelt fresh like he had just showered as well. The man cups my face, his other hand slides to the door behind me pushing me inside. I follow his lead without hesitation, backing away and kissing him back but also helping him close the door behind him. 

The kiss develops and becomes more passionate, the stranger’s hand slides down my sides softly teasing before settling to my waist. The man pulls me close to him, his body was firm and felt sculpted, he hums into the kiss at the friction between us. I wrap my arm around his shoulder, pulling him much closer onto him, whilst the man’s hands slide under the gown to touch and grope my ass, before suddenly spanking me.

A squeak leaves my lips and I end up biting into his lips, causing the man to groan. It seems to work on the man grins into the kiss, before pushing further into the kiss. I do a little bit of groping my own, my hands slide down his chest and down his toned chest.

Mixed up between the breathy and heated kisses, hands go flying, stripping each other of clothes, until we are both Buck naked. I was impatient, foreplay was never my strong point, I was so ready for more.

Luckily, the stranger seems to understand my impatience, he pushes me onto the bed with my ass in the air. I turn back to watch the stranger and in his eyes I could see there was excitement, I couldn’t decipher if it was because he was going to top some stranger he had coincidently met through the app. Was he excited at the prospect of easy sex, because in reality, I had served myself up onto a plate.

Kneeling down in between my legs, the man chuckles before smacking my ass repeatedly. I groan into the sheets as he leans down and spreading my cheeks apart the man leaves in to lick at the pucker of my ass. The man doesn’t hesitate, he licks the pucker, with his fingers find my entrance slowly opening me up.

“Oh that’s it” I encourage the man, who continues slowly opening me up, in the back of my head protection is a thought. I didn’t normally have unprotected sex, but the man’s tongue was doing wonders to cloud my normally sound judgement.

Fortunately, he doesn’t allow the moment of great sex doesn’t get in the way of some sense, as he gets up and walks over to the drawer at the bedside. The man takes out a condom, the hotel had fortunately supplied some for us and I won’t have to faff around looking for one in my bag. Shit the way I had been behaving, there was a good chance that I would have let the stranger bare back me.

Another excited smile graces the stranger’s face sending my heartbeat racing, he was making me flutter. The man was so attractive, it was something that I wasn’t used to, not sleeping with attractive men. No in reality, I had a great track record with the lovers that I had. In each equation I had always come out looking like the ugly one, and this situation wasn’t any different. The man had an outrageously good body, he was tall, broad shoulders and not too thin and so goddamn beautiful.

The man stands above me with a grin on his face, he looks down at my ass. “Can I just take a mental picture? For future reference?” the man says before approaching me. I laugh and everything after that, it feels like a blur. I was hazy on it all, I can remember him making his way to me, behind me.

His hands feeling at my ass before separating my cheeks. I can also remember him slowly but surely pushing himself into my tightness, but everything else after that. It was just feeling; it wasn’t a feeling that I had in a long time. I was overwhelmed by this feeling, it felt so good and filling.

Not just having the man inside of me, no there was a feeling of fullness. Like before this moment, I had been empty in other ways. The man was so affectionate, as he thrusts inside of me, he pulls my face close to his and kisses me. Sometimes he kisses me in favour of even fucking me, he was tender when I needed it, but whenever I begged for a rougher touch, he did as I asked. He peppered my back with soft and sensual kisses, he wasn’t just in this for short fuck, he was different.

We only take one position, I was laying on my front and behind me the man was fucking me. He holds me in his embrace, there was something quite warm about the moment. I haven’t had that type of warmth in a long time.

That warmth and ease continues as we lay on the bed sheets, sweaty after having worked ourselves up a bit. Despite what we had been through, there was a comfortable silence between us, the stranger is the first to break it.

“How old are you?” the man asks with a chuckle; he pulls me closer into his arms. I lean my head onto his shoulder, I don’t know why, it was fairly affectionate for someone who was a stranger to me. “My thirty first birthday is coming up soon” I reveal much to the shock and awe of the elder. “Whoa, I gave you early to mid-twenties” the man chuckles

in disbelief. I’m sure he’d be less surprised if I revealed my diet of blood, but that wasn’t something that I revealed to just anyone.

Very few people knew about my identity, about the kind of man that I had become. I was a drainer and even though my kind had been slowly accepted by society, it wasn’t something that I felt like announcing. It was a personal decision, I didn’t feel comfortable to reveal the truth, especially seeing as I had done some things that I was proud of since becoming a drainer. I had seen things that I wished that I hadn’t, it was something that I didn’t want to talk about, and so I just simply shrug.

“Good genes I guess” I shrug, the man doesn’t comment and we both stay together in silence. “Ah then you should call me hyung then” the man teases, causing me to chuckle a little. The man strokes his hand through my hair, I hum in reply and we make small talk. We keep the talk all shallow, I don’t go into anything serious, I don’t even tell him my name. We just talk about Busan, the hotel and places to visit, the man was more familiar with the town than I was so I lay and just listen to him talk.

“You’re very cute” the man whispers in my ear, licking and nibbling on my ear. I smile and reach for the man’s other arm that was around my waist. “This was fun” I hum in reply, it had been fun and unexpected. It left me a bit sore, the man reaches down to my ass he checks on me. Was I sore?

“Did I do too hard?” I assure the elder that I was fine, the elder was sweet and he wouldn’t be someone that I regretted. There is a brief silence after that, and the man is the first to break the silence. The man announces that once I fell asleep he was probably going to get up out of bed and leave. I hum, I was just fine with that, but for now I would enjoy this moment.

When I open my eyes, everything is dark. I had fallen asleep without even noticing, the man’s arms were comfortable. Now I awake, I look around and notice that my bag was no longer on the edge of my bed. Someone had put the bag to the side of the bed, and I had been tucked under the sheets. It appeared the older man was quite sweet and thoughtful. A smile spreads across my face at the thought at him, before I slowly get up.

Switching on the bedroom lamp, it illuminates the room enough for me to see my phone was by my bedside table. The phone on my phone reads as early morning, I should probably be sleeping right now but I felt like I was wide awake. I reach for the remote control and switch on the television and on plays the news. It was the news playing and it was news feature of the drainer community had taken over a few south American countries, some African countries.

Sometimes it was time surreal to watch, to see that the drainer community was public and open. On one side it was good, there was no hiding for the community and people were free and open. There were so many more people who were happier, no longer sneaking around in the edges of society. It hadn’t been easy for everyone to accept them to society and even now there wasn’t full acceptance, but at least there was still progress.

BUZZ! BUZZ! My phone rings, and when I check the caller ID I see that I was getting a call from Im Junhyeok. When I answer the phone he announces that he had arrived in Busan. The elder soon makes it known that he was drunk, he was loud, despite their music playing in the background not being loud and he was shouting down the phone as if it was.

“Pick me up Choi Youngjae!” I had no idea what the elder had been doing, or why his first thought after arriving in Busan was to get shit faced. However, I knew that Im Junhyeok was a light weight and easily misguided when drunk, so for now I would have to rush to him and minimise the troubler.

As quickly as I can, I try and get changed. I was still sticky and sweaty from earlier but I would clean up when I meet up with him.

Running out, I pass by the reception desk. Instead of the awful Park Jisoo, waiting there is Myoui Mina, I ask her for the name of a new taxi firm and she is quick to order me a ride out. As we wait she is polite and makes conversation, when I bring up her colleague from earlier on she rolls her. “That woman…” she reveals for the rest of the week she would be working throughout the day and if I needed anything, that I should just contact her. All very kind and polite from her, I was sure she was doing it less as her obligation to me and more for me to spite her colleague. In that moment I find myself deciding that I liked her, I liked petty people. 

The taxi finally comes and by then Mina is busy checking other clients, so I was able to leave without having to awkwardly excuse myself and I had off to pick up my drunken colleague. It turned out the elder was in a bar not too far from the hotel, I get there in under then minutes.

When I get to the bar a nice young bar lady directs me to Junhyeok. “I was getting worried that I might have to take him home myself” the woman seemed nice, and has me relieved that Junhyeok had at least one person looking over him. The bar itself place was a near the beachside, a seedy little place with unsavoury characters. The people around him, they looked to be seedy and untrustworthy, but fortunately no one had taken advantage of the drunk and randy elder. Instead they were getting their kicks from the entertainment the elder was bringing, joy and laughter to those around him.

Junhyeok was shit faced, he was past drunk and was cutely shaking his sweet little booty. The elder was shimmying and shaking out of sync to the old trot music that was playing in the background. The man even in his drunken state had a pleasant voice to listen to. So pleasant that when he serenades what looks like big criminal boss and his gang, he actually gets tips. I’m a little panicked as I watch on to how close he was to such dangerous people, for me it would be no problem, I knew that I Could handle those people with one arm tied behind my back.

The elder’s’s safety is my only concern as he’s stood so close to the criminals, but he manages to charm them and keep them enchanted, and in the end this would sure end up being a good story to tell later on when the elder was very much sober and suffering with a from a hangover. For a little while I watch on and wait for Junhyeok to finish entertaining, before interrupting. When I get there, I’m greeted by a slender and attractive looking bar woman, just from the look of her I could tell that she was foreign, she says her name is Mina

Her accent is a giveaway, she was sweet looking woman who didn’t fit with the seediness of the bar. She hands over Junhyeok’s phone and wallet, and helps me in getting him to the taxi that was waiting. The elder would be paying for the taxi, but getting him inside proves more of a task than it should be. The elder was definitely more affectionate and tactile when he was drunk, his hands make their way up and down my body, groping, feeling and caressing

My colleague kisses me up and down my neck, he nibbles and licks around my neck. As far as my experience with the elder, he was one hundred per cent heterosexual, apart from when he was drunk. When he was with me he seemed to enjoy going past first base with me, and sometimes I let him, cause honestly he was a good kisser and sometimes I was horny enough. But having had a sudden and surprising one-night stand, I wasn’t horny or willing enough to take advantage of my colleague.

Instead I was doing my best to push him off and trying to push him away, we were comfortable enough with each other that this would be something we could just laugh off, but right now here in this moment. I was still a man who liked men and the man who liked women was kissing and licking my neck and was dangerously close to the spot that I liked. If he were to ever reach that spot then, I would have no choice but to fuck my closest colleague and that was something that didn’t need to happen. Our relationship was fine the way that it was, it didn’t need any complications. My life didn’t need any more complications.

Fortunately, Junhyeok doesn’t manage to find the spot that made me lose my mind, instead he calms down and passes out. Leaving me to pay for the taxi ride- money that I would recoup from the elder later. I carry the drunken man from the taxi, all the way to my room.

Due to his drunk state, the man could not check in to his room, so for now he would be staying with me. Luckily we don’t bump into any of our colleagues in the building or else it would probably reflect badly on both of us. So I do my very best to carry the slight other into my room, and quickly get him to sleep as soon as possible.

Although I had just had sex with a strange man in these sheets, I wouldn’t be making a fuss of changing the sheets. Junhyeok would have to sleep in our sex filled sheets whether or not he liked it. There’s not any complaining from the elder either way, as soon as he lays his head on a pillow his body immediately relaxes and his sleep becomes much deeper. Whilst he was asleep I decide to take another shower, there were some things that I would need to keep on washing myself.

Once I’m done with the shower I flop on the bed next to Junhyeok, as soon as I lay down the elder wraps his arms around my waist. He leans his head on my shoulder and so I let him, this wasn’t my first time spooning with the elder. In fact, I enjoyed it, and I knew there would be no awkwardness between the two of us in the morning were to wake up like this.

When it does come to waking up, my alarm is what forces me out of my sleep. Several alarms put in three minute intervals which forces me out of my slumber, over the years I had become an easier person to wake up.

“Sugar, honey, iced, tea” Junhyeok who was next to me, slowly gets up into his seated positon. He looks a little dishevelled, his hair was sticking up from all different directions, and his shirt had ridden up showing his slight toned stomach. I had always found the man attractive, he was nice on the eyes even with his dishevelled appearance. “Your hair looks good” I tease the elder, who flips me the bird in reaction.

“What the hell did I do?” Junyeok groans he admits that he doesn’t remember what had happened the night before. I explain that I only saw the tail end of that night. “Seeing you shake your ass was a treat” I say to the elder with a grin on my face. The man groans embarrassed, he sighs. “My ass is a treat” the man counters confidently as he gets up from the bed.

“Did I give you a hickey this time? The man asks, he checks my neck lifting the collar of my polo top. “No, it’s fine” I reassure the elder, the man looks relieved about this but still leans a kiss on my lips lightly, patting me on the shoulder, before getting up and stripping.

The man was very comfortable around me so he doesn’t even think twice in stripping or going to use my facilities. I shrug it off and order us both something to eat for breakfast, unlike most normal mortals, Im Junhyeok was ravenous when he was hungover. He’d be good as new once he stuffed his face, and then I could begin my teasing and ribbing of him.

After Junhyeok is done with the shower, I get myself cleaned up and ready for the day. I wasn’t planning on wearing anything fancy, according to Principle Shin, we would be meeting at the hotel’s restaurant, the faculty of twelve idiots who had agreed to attend would meet, catch up and be take on our first day’s mission.

As usual the misery guts, Junhyeok who had scarfed down his breakfast heads downstairs to his room, apparently he had checked in the evening. Either way I wouldn’t have been able to get him to his room when he was that knocked out and it would have been more inconvenient.

Once I was washed, cleaned and dressed, I head on out. I rush into the lift I press the button for the bottom floor and just before the door closes, an arm sneaks through and stops the door from opening up. On the other side of the lift doors was a newly familiar face, it was the handsome sculpted face of… well I didn’t know his name yet, which was funny in a none funny way.

However, the irony was there, we had done something so intimate, yet we were strangers. Not knowing my lover’s name, it wasn’t the first time but normally I didn’t see my bed fellow the next morning. But the probability of us running into each other became a lot greater, when I slept with my hotel’s neighbour. A move I wasn’t sure was the best to make but only time and this lift ride downstairs would tell.

The handsome sculpted fellow lights up as he spots me, the surprisingly bright smile graces his handsome face again. My heart flutters even more wildly than it did yesterday, the more I looked at this stranger the wilder the flutters became. I felt like a teenager again, I knew what kind of feelings I was having but I didn’t know why they were this intense, especially for someone I had inside of me the night before. It felt a bit backwards that I should be nervous around him, but here I was.

A short few minutes as we descend to the bottom floor, it’s all smooth, no one interrupts us in between. It’s all very quiet, and slightly awkward. The man makes some small talk, like it was completely normal, like he hadn’t had me face down ass in the air begging for more last night. It was a little disconcerting; we were avoiding the obvious in favour of small talk.

The man was eerily nonchalant, did he do this often fuck strangers? He must be so used to it that he can end the conversation like that afterwards, me on the other hand. I still felt painfully awkward around him. I do answer whatever questions the man has for me and keep up the conversation with him that is until we reach the bottom floor.

Once we arrive to the bottom floor, I’m the first to excuse myself and to leave. However, I feel myself tugged back by the arm and when I turn around, I see the stranger with his hand around my wrist holding stopping me in my tracks. His grip wasn’t too firm, but it was enough to stop me firmly in my tracks. The stranger watches me, he was intense and his smile was large, wide and completely charming.

“What time are you free today?” the man asks; he steps forward to join me outside of the lift. Standing directly in front of me, he watches me with hopeful eyes, his eyes not leaving mine. “Six pm, maybe seven…” I reveal without really much thought about it, I was a little to open with this man who was still a stranger to me.

“Be ready at eight this evening, and don’t eat anything. I’ll take you out for dinner” and without even thinking about it, I nod my head and accept the man’s offer. I wasn’t one to do things like this, had become cautious, overly cautious even, but right now we were. I was accepting a dinner invitation from a handsome stranger, and I was getting flutters just simply from his touch.

“Okay that’s great!” the man explains, before letting my hand go, “I’ll see you later” he waves me off signalling that he was letting me go on my way. I nod my head to the stranger one last time, before heading off in the direction of the exit, only I hear the man’s voice calling for me. Well not me, he calls Tuan Mark and I assume that he was addressing me as I couldn’t see my messy best friends anywhere.

So I turn the man who was making me flutter, he smiles watching me fondly, the look was so tender that it surprised me. “Brian Kang, that’s the name you’ll know me by right?” the man announces. Known by? Was that not his name? “I’ll see you later Mark Tuan” he says before leaving a kiss on my cheek, it was soft and fleeting. It sends my heart racing and leaves me glued to my spot watching the man leave, last time I checked I was a thirty year-old, but here I was fluttering like I was half that young and less experienced.

It takes a while for me to get out of my Brian Kang induced trance, before heading over to the beach side near the hotel. There were still some colleagues already there, but there would be some time left before everything start. The staff catch up, we discuss the hotel and it appears that I was the only one who had a bad experience with Park Jisoo, the rest of the staff seemed to have a good impression of her, which I found a little irksome.

While we catch up one side of the beach, on the other side I overhear Principle Shin who was on her phone having a hushed argument with her husband. From what I could hear, they were having issues. Her husband didn’t approve of her being on this trip, he felt that she was avoiding him and their problems after his unfaithfulness. But Principle Shin didn’t want to have to sit and listen to him, it was an inappropriate time. That was the problem with having super hearing, you overheard when you didn’t necessarily want to.

However, I do fake a smile feigning ignorance, Principle Shin works just as well at acting too. She has us split into two team and we start off our morning and we warm ourselves up. I hold back, I do my best to pretend that it was a chore for me, but I had always been athletic in my youth and now after becoming a drainer, it was much easier for me to exercise.

Once we are warmed up, we split off into our two teams again and for the remainder of the morning we play different kind of sports, in between we have why we had become teachers. The attention to turns to me, why had I become a teacher, how long I had been a teacher? It had been almost five years, five long and eventful years, it had all passed by as a blur. Instead of becoming an accountant, after travelling the world; I decided to become a teacher instead. When I first started, engaging young minds, I loved it.

“So Mr Choi Youngjae, do you still feel the same about teaching? I shrug, it was hard to answer that question and mean it. Sometimes it was a yes that I really meant, when the new year ended and a class of mine got better results. However sometimes the competition from the children and the pressure from their parents and the school authorities. “Most of the time” which garners a few laughs and some nodding. “Five years and you’re already like this” a senior teacher Mr Jeong teases.

“It’s understandable, not all jobs are perfect. As long as you can find a reason to return to work then it should be good” principle offers and convinces.

“Okay, who’s your favourite former student?” principle Shin had asked some of the other teachers this question, most of the answers were linked in to how the student had improved thanks to the teacher’s help. But the truth was that my favourite student had been one that I hadn’t been able to do much for, the student was very smart and made me feel lacking.

This was the first year of my teaching and I was nervous wreck through most of it. I was just getting used to balancing the work load and trying to honestly get the students to respect me, I had doubted myself a little until eventually I just settled into it. A particular student named Kim Dahyun, she was bright clever and despite all my attempts to work with her as her teacher, she just seemed determined to do whatever she wanted. In the end she did pass all her exams and left that school, although the grades were not what I had desired for her, they were fine enough

Kim Dahyun was a lesson that I needed to learn and I was glad that I learnt it in the first year of my teaching, she taught me that it was alright not to get it right every student. If the student isn’t willing to accept the help, then you have to focus on those that do. In the end Dahyun ended up studying in Seoul at a pretty good university and every now and then we communicate through emails.

“Youngjae is right, we as teachers can only do much. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t push ourselves” principle Shin summarises which seems to get an eye roll from Junhyeok. I have to bite the inside of my mouth and avoid laughing.

We return back to the exercise at hand, and after we go around the whole teaching staff, we get some stories that reveal a lot and explain why certain staff members seemed to act the way that they did. So if anything this exercise works more to give each of understanding as to how the other members were best approached.

With a somewhat productive morning out of the way, Principle Shin excuses us for lunch. Junhyeok immediately grabs my hand and separates us from the heard, he takes us to a food shack that was nearby, and as we wait for our food to be finished the elder receives a call.

“Shit!” Junhyeok mutters as he sees the caller ID, he grimaces. “It’s like she heard me smiling and thought, no let me fuck with him” I was pretty sure he was talking about his on and off girlfriend Minatozaki.

They had met whilst he was abroad in Tokyo studying in college, they had been together on and off and it appeared they were off at the moment. Sana was asking for more commitment and it seemed not to suit the elder. So I let Junhyeok take the call and as he does, I enjoy my food as well as day dreaming of my date with Brian Kang. I kept thinking about his lips, and I hoped maybe I could do some more kissing with the elder. I assumed that’s what the date was for, it would be a precursor for that.

Over time I had been someone who jumped into everything, if I liked someone enough, I could give a person everything. I was always intense too quickly, so with this man, I would avoid that habit. I would just enjoy everything that came with this week and when it ended, I would just hark back to it being a memorable week.

There was part of me that that rarely ever got to just have fun, so I was determined not to get so invested. Last night was very fortunate and tonight would be pleasant, I would have dinner with this man and then if I wanted to continue on, I would have sex with him. There was nothing else to think about, to me he was Brian Kang the handsome man and to him I was Tuan Mark and for the purposes of my time with this man.

Once our break is done we head inside to the hotel, we are lead to a conference room where we are forced to watch a packaged video about the school. With the history and it’s begins, it’s turning point and its goals for the future, it was meant to be inspirational but quite frankly I was trying to fight the desire to fall asleep. I try my best not to, I needed to say awake for tonight, in my stomach what was bubbling was excitement for my kind of sort of date with Kang Brian.

The two-hour documentary video which was two hours too long finally ends and Mrs Shin allows us to leave a little earlier than specified and Junhyeok immediately grabs and leads me to the exit. “Let’s get shit faced Choi Youngjae” the man lists down all the ways he plans to get drunk for the night under the assumption that I would be there to join him. So he’s greatly disappointed to find out that I already had plans, he pushes further on what the plans were and who they were with.

“Choi Youngjae you slick little bastard, you have a date already?” the man cheers for me, as if me being on the date was a great accomplishment.

“Well it is for you, ever since you broke up with what’s his face you’ve been in spinster mode” Junhyeok had never gotten along with my most recent ex. He never hid that fact when we were together, finding my ex boring and pretentious, Junhyeok really didn’t like pretentious people and he really didn’t like Kim Jaehyung.

“So what does this guy do?” he throws questions at me, most of which I had no idea the answer to. I had hardly spoken to Brian Kang; we hadn’t really discussed each other’s lives. I had assumed because we had hooked up so quickly that there was no need to talk about anything important or find anything. I would keep things the same way tonight, I wouldn’t share too much, I would keep the conversation shallow and hopefully it could end with a make out session or with me on my back again.

That night five minutes to eight, there is a loud and rapid knocking at the door. I get up immediately nervous, I was washed and cleaned and already for my dinner out. I try not to answer the door too quickly, I didn’t want to look too eager, but how did it look for Brian Kang to be here this early. When I look through the peephole, on the other end was the handsome man, stood there with a grin on his face. I recognised that kind of smile, but it felt so baffling to even think that this man was excited to see me. Was he?

“Mark Tuan, are you there?” the man’s distorted frame looks through the peep hole to me, the smile still remains on my face. I bite back a chuckle and pull away from the door before opening it up, on the other end of the door way there he stood” dressed in a smart pink dress shirt and a pair of skinny jeans and trainers. He looked so good, I spent a little while just looking at him, trying to take it all in.

“Mark you look truly splendid” the man says with a smile, he reaches for my hand and pulls me close before delivering a soft kiss on my lips. I looked just fine, I was wearing a pair of black slacks and a white dress shirt with some smart black moccasins.

Junhyeok had chosen the outfit for me, he said it highlighted my ass, so trusting his word I trusted the outfit. I walk ahead and lead the man to the lift, the excitement bubbles in my stomach, I wanted him to look at my ass, to find me attractive, did he find me attractive?

Briefly we stand in the lift, a couple of minutes pass and there’s no conversation between the two of us. I was over thinking everything, over sensitive and it seemed that the elder was in tune with that. Brian was suddenly silent, staring ahead deep in his own thoughts. Was he bored already? How could I have bored someone so quickly? I reach over to the elder’s hand, tugging slightly in hopes that I could get his attention.

The man jumps a little startled, before looking down at my hand. His fingers entangle with mine, a grin spreads across his face and there was a mischievous look in his eyes. My heart flutters when looking at him, the man keeps hold of my arm and reaches past me to one of the lift buttons which stops the movement completely. The lift locks in place, no movement up or down and before I can even question it, the man leans in to kiss me.

Wasting no time, the man cups my face and deepens the kiss. Brian uses his lips to part mine and sticks his tongue inside of my mouth. He tasted minty as he had last night, it was beginning to become my favourite taste. His lips weren’t bad either, they were surprisingly soft. As the kiss deepens, so does the passion, Brian’s hands wander to my ass he gropes and feels. I groan feeling pleasure, before reaches for his shoulder to pull me close.

Making out with a virtual stranger in a lift certainly hadn’t been part of my plans in Busan but I didn’t mind. But there is that niggling feeling that worries me, after all someone could start up the lift and we would be exposed in this compromising situation, so I pull away from the kiss. The elder follows me backwards pushing me onto the back of the lift, he begins to pepper my neck messy kisses that were driving me crazy.

“Hyung, we can’t do this here” I try to reason with the elder, but it just comes out breathy and non-committal. I was too distracted by his wandering hands, especially as he bites and nibbles my ear. The elder had no interest in leaving our spot, he makes that clear as his hands wander past the waistband of my trousers. Biting down my lips, I try to hold back the moan but I was so turned on right now. The elder grips at my length stroking and thumbs the tip and strokes down my length.

“I won’t fuck you in a lift” surprisingly, I find my voice. The elder pauses he leans his head on my shoulder, one hand stroking up and down my neck, he was close to my weak spot. If he reached that spot then I might have to go against my word, but for now I would hold firm. I push away slightly from the elder, and reach behind myself to get the lift working again. “You promised me dinner” I say as I straight up my clothes. “I haven’t eaten all day” I continue which gains a laugh from the elder.

Despite being completely worked up and turned on, I wasn’t going to waste this even just being fucked. I wanted this to be a nice night, a night that I could remember. Part of me knew that if I worked the elder up, it would make the sex better, so for now I would do my best to tease the elder.

When our left reaches the bottom floor, with the doors open I reach for Brian’s hand and pull the elder out into the hotel foyer. There as we walk I hear the shameless Park Jisoo take a little dig at the both of us.

“Ah he’s that kind of man, no wonder, normal men cannot resist when I flutter these eye lashes” he co-worker weakly laughs.

“He’s a strange man, what a weirdo” she continues much to Brian’s displeasure. The elder looks like he’s about to say something, so I reach for his arm and pull him close to me until he’s right in front of my face. Swiftly, I lean in to kiss him on the leaps, the other is thrown off.

“We’re on a date” I whisper and encourage the elder before heading in front of the elder, I was doing my best to keep my control.

As I stand outside of the hotel waiting for taxi, I cant hel but be a little disappointed that the elder hadn’t followed me out immediately. Just as I’m about to give up and turn back and go back inside, I suddenly feel arms wrap around my waist.

“I’ll give you a good night” the man whispers. “For now, let’s stay like this” I nod my head in agreement, comfortable with the man holding me like this.


	2. ... Accept You

“Oh goodness, those chubby cheeks!” my dearest wife coos over the brand new baby being held in my arms. The small and soft bundle of joy laying in my wife’s soft fleshy arms, she was the perfect place for the new born baby. “My dearest sunshine” she coos, for so long that I have to put down the camera in my hands and pinch the younger. Park Soojin giggles but she doesn’t remove her eyes from her newly born child in her arms, she was in love already. There would be no getting in between her and the child that she loved so much, she was a great mother and wife, I was so lucky.

 

“Ignore this man, Woobinnie is just jealous that his wife has another man to love” I chuckle amused, she was cute. Park Soojin was quite possibly the only person I could get along with, she was the only person who could tease and prod me, I was weak for her charm. It had been twelve years since I had accepted this as my reality, and my life had been so much better since. Letting this woman love me, had lead me to become a better person, and now with four children of our own, my life couldn’t get any better.

“We’ll protect you” instead of filtering my thoughts, I give my promise to the new and youngest Choi. “Youngjae, did you hear that? The woman teases nudging me slightly, she reaches for my hand. Taking my finger, she puts it in the tiny hand of our newest son. The little wraps his hand around my finger, my heart flutters for the baby. “He’s cute” very rarely did I give many compliments like this, causing my wife to laugh amused.

0yrs old

“They keep saying that I’m a weirdo from a strange family” Youngjae was unsettled and flustered. The young boy had just arrived from school completely overwhelmed after a run in with some cruel children. The young students had been taunting my son, finding out that Jinwoon was an adopted child, they were using that to torment Youngjae. My blood was boiling, to see my precious son being rattled like this.

“Mum, they were so mean” bottom lip quivering and eyes threaten to flood over, my youngest boy was a very sensitive person. I knew that being called weird was not what was upsetting him, it was because such cruel words were being directed to his family. The younger had so much love for his family, he had pride in his family and for us to be insulted like this, I understood that he could be so upset like this.

Crouching down, I wrap my arms around my slight son’s narrow shoulders. Pulling him into my embrace, I lightly rub his back and pat hopping to calm down the younger in the way that I normally did. I wanted to calm him down first, and so for a few minutes I let him sniffle and let all the tears out. Once he’s done crying, I pull away and stroke through Youngjae’s hair.

“Junhyuk hyung says I should fight them, should I do that?” I falsely scoff trying to hide my real amusement. My son Choi Junhyuk was a scrappy thing, he had grown up fighting those around him, usually those people had approached him with a fight. He was a mentally and physically strong kid, just like his older sister, they shared that no bullshit attitude. They were both the ballsy kids who I only ever had to collect and reprimand as they had grown up, very rarely did they misbehave.

Youngjae was just like his older brother Choi Jinwoon, they soft, sweet and kind children. They were deeply sensitive and intuitive souls, beyond their years, even at the young age my son was deeply upset for our family. “Don’t use your fists, just be strong” I explain to Youngjae that there were better ways to handle conflict situations than violent. I tell the younger that ignoring the taunts was the best way to proceed, I explain it took a better person to avoid a confrontation.

6 yrs old.

As a parent, I was well within my rights to smack my children at the back of their heads collectively. Each and every single misbehaved child, my three sons were doing very little to hide the fact they were overwhelmingly bored right now. I knew that church wasn’t the most fun place to be, but I had taught my children better than to rudely show their emotions like this. Lecture after lecture seemed to have gone unheard by my stubborn children, Junhyuk the more stubborn of them all was barely keeping awake.

Meanwhile Jinwoon who had always been the best behaved, he was the example that I hoped the two youngest would follow seemed a little preoccupied. Recently he had seemed to be out of this world, he had seemed to be so troubled of the last few weeks. I was so concerned for him, I knew that he was focused on his studies, even with my pleas for him to not overdo it, the younger was so focused to succeed.

His youngest sibling seemed to have caught onto it, Youngjae with his cut lip and slightly bruised eye, sits next to Jinwoon holding his hand watching over his brother. They obviously weren’t paying attention and the church’s priest father Jo Insoo had caught that in the corner of his eye. I could feel my cheeks heating up under the man’s strong glare, there was nothing I could do now without making a scene, but I was sure that I would have to make a lecture that would go in one ear and out of the ear. I frown deeply at the thought my children were growing up and becoming rebellious, even Youngjae was catching the rebellion bug.

Youngjae had gotten involved with a fight at school, he had been insistent that he didn’t start the fight, but it was something that he could have avoided. I believed that he was baited by his older more confrontational brother, but he wouldn’t admit that out loud to me. Right now I was furious, worried and annoyed with my sons, but in comparison to their sister who was pregnant out of wedlock, they were looking like angels right now.

9 yrs old.

“Mum, you didn’t have to come!” Junhyuk complains, the 19-year-old pouts much like had in his childhood. Unable to resist, I pinch his cheek even as a grown man he would always be the baby I held in my arms. That reaction earns protests and laughs from his brothers, Jinwoon and Youngjae had both come along. It was the short summer holidays and my oldest sons were back from university, and they had decided to take out their youngest and precious sibling out for afternoon activities.

To the dismay of my eldest children, I had gone along. Woobin was busy at work and Sooyoung was busy taking care of her young son, so it was just the four of us. Jinwoon had happily accepted me joining their day trip to the local swimming baths, it was the elder boy’s attempt to get their youngest reclusive brother outside of the house. Since starting high school Youngjae had suddenly become the school’s outcast, I had suspicions it was because of the company he chose to keep. Yien Tuan, he was someone that I wanted my son to separate himself from, but all the nudging, the hinting and suggestions to do so had fallen on Youngjae’s deaf ears.

Yien had been someone who had attached himself to Youngjae, the boy had already gained himself a reputation for being fast and loose. That wasn’t the influence I wanted for my son, especially as soon as he had entered Youngjae’s life, I had become to see less of my son’s face. Like a siren, the American boy had seduced Youngjae into wanting to spent all his free non-school, non-study time together. I would complain and ask Youngjae to spend a little less time with the elder if his grades were suffering, but Youngjae had somehow managed to improve his grades as well as have his small little social life that consisted of god knows what.

Fortunately for the short summer holiday, Yien had travelled to America to visit his friends and family. With him preoccupied all the way across the world, I was hoping that if Youngjae was around better influences then would be more willing to be social outside of his relationship with Yien.

“Just swim you little brat” I tell Junhyuk before sitting at the side of the bench of the swimming pool. Junhyuk mutters about his mother being here and killing his game, the boy fancied himself a Casanova, so I would just be watching and not get involved. For many years I had tried to let go of my reigns as a parent and trust the decisions that my children make. I wasn’t going to be a forceful mother, although I wished I could throw that kind of logic away and wrangle my kids into doing what I wanted.

Right now I was doing my very best to remain uninvolved, even as I watch my youngest son who was unable to rip his eyes from one of the pool’s lifeguards. He had the look in his eyes, the one he tried to hide, it was usually followed by a flicker of shame. As hard as he tried to hide it, I had caught it and I wasn’t sure how to deal with it. He was a young boy, I had expected him to have these kind of feelings, but not with men. I was so conflicted, I felt like I should intervene and try and guide Youngjae, but I was scared of what that would lead to.

It could just be the hormones; I was hoping that at his age that it was just a phase in his life. The hopes that I had were foolish but I was scared for the reality that the truth held. Youngjae wouldn’t be accepted by society, he wouldn’t be accepted by some of the people closest to him, honestly I was struggling to do so myself.

My upbringing and the society that I was raised in had lead me to feel differently, I was had grown to believe that marriage and love was meant to be between a man and a woman. It was the way Jinwoon was with his crush on that clueless girl Park Yeeun, and Junhyuk and any young girl he saw. Female and male relationships lead to marriage, and through marriage it leads to children, it was the way of the world.

So why was my son going to avoid that path? His life could be so much easier if he just took the easiest path. I shake my head repeatedly trying to shake out all these thoughts, no matter what I loved my son. There had been so much drama and stress to get him in my life, there was no way that I was giving up on him.

“Stop it!” Youngjae giggles in protest as his older brother’s team up against him, both have grabbed him on both heads by his shoulders and feet and were heading towards the pool and throwing him in. Youngjae calls out for them to stop but the elders had already made up their minds, and just like he had always done, my son calls out for his mother. 

13yrs old. 

“How long are you going to keep lying to me?!” my normally sweet natured, and pleasant young son was unable to hold back his temper. There were very few occasions I had seen him this way, Jinwoon was someone who preferred to sort out things calmly. The most passionate he ever got was in a debate, whether it be about politics or something as silly as music. Often he had these late night debates with me and they could talk into the early morning, but it was never above a roar.

Right now, he wasn’t having a debate. Anger could be seen in his enlarged eyeballs, his protruding veins and the tears in his eyes show that he was frustrated. The young man looked like he was about to burst, there was nothing that I could say to calm him down at all. He had already been pushed to the edge emotionally and I wasn’t sure how I could calm him down. Normally raising my voice and telling him to watch his tone or attitude, was enough to get the younger to back step.

However, the circumstances were a bit more extenuating than anything we had gone through. Jinwoon was suffering a shock, he had found out something that had shocked even me. Part of his sudden discovery had meant that he had discovered a big lie that I had told him, it was a huge enough lie that I could understand him being overwhelmed. His head looked like it was going to explode, he was overwhelmed with the sudden shock.

“Lee Jihyun, she told me the truth” I bite the inside of my mouth to stop myself from speaking up out of anger. I really despised that woman, Lee Jihyun, she was a troublesome woman. Ever since I had met her, the only thing that she had provided by family with was with my first son and countless moments of irritations since. Instead of cutting contact with Jinwoon as we had agreed on when she gave him away, but here she was stirring up trouble for my family.

Jinwoon explains that he had recently become curious about his birth mother and had been exchanging letters with her. In one of those letters she had revealed a deep and dark family secret, the troublesome Lee Jihyun has revealed that his biological father was the same man as Youngjae’s. The letter had also revealed that Youngjae was not biologically mine and Soojin’s child. “Youngjae’s my brother?” the boy had grown up feeling that Youngjae was his brother only in bond, but now he was faced with the truth that he was in fact his biological brother.

There was a lot of misunderstandings, yes as parents Soojin and I had told a lot of lies but it was all to protect our children. The truth was complicated, and in his search for the truth, Jinwoon had gone out and gotten private detectives to dig up the truth. He had gathered up evidence and it was up to me to explain to him the truth, I had wanted to avoid moments like this and raise him in the same way as I raised all my other children. With all the love that I had, to me there was no difference in my children, blood meant nothing. To his young heart I’m sure he had doubted it and now discovering my lies, he was going to doubt me more.

“Choi Youngjae, Choi Junhyuk and Choi Sooyoung are you siblings” I try to reassure him, but that isn’t met well. “Youngjae and I share the same blood” the man still seemed to be processing this too. I had an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach, how was I going to explain this without the risk of losing my son. “Just tell me the truth dad” he called me dad, even at a time like this when he was upset. I was his dad and he was my precious son, I he wanted the truth so I would tell him.

15yrs old.

“How can the school allow such a dreadful rumour” frustrated, I berate the principle of my son’s school. Youngjae was currently the victim of a school’s harassment campaign, it had gone past juvenile bullying and was now going into disgraceful territory. The last thing I wanted to do while I worked, was to hear rumours that my high school aged child was supposedly loose and had contracted a sexually transmitted disease.

Of course I was completely horrified, for someone to insult my child like this. To torment him like this, I wanted to school to not sit on their asses and do nothing, to let whoever was responsible get away with it. I was fuming and I needed whoever was in charge to show me some results, instead of sweeping it under the carpet and waiting for Youngjae to graduate. That’s what it seemed that they were trying to do, they were claiming not to know where the foul rumours were coming from.

“We’ll investigate it, Mrs Choi” the man on the other of the phone tries to hurry me off the phone. “I want results!” I say before hanging up the phone, frustrated with the lack of support my child was getting from the school that I paid so much money to. I take the walk home in hopes that I would calm down for when I got home, I had family dinner to prepare and I didn’t want to show my true anger. Youngjae would be back home for dinner and I didn’t need to worry him with my concerns about the rumours, it wasn’t his fault that these rumours were flying around.

Deeply taking a sigh, I take the long way round home in order to clear my thoughts. As I walk down the road, I pass by a car across the street, that was slightly hidden and concealed from everyone. I would ordinarily just walk past, but there is something that stops in the track. Someone to be more precise, I stay hidden in the dark and watch the people who seemed hidden in an expensive sports car which didn’t fit the neighbourhood, it was not inconspicuous at all, but it looked like the people inside were trying keep hidden, both young boys were wearing hoodies.

When I get a closer look, the hoodie moves a little and reveals my youngest child. Sat in the passenger seat of this sports car, opposite him in the driver’s seat was, a very familiar face. It was Kim Hanbin, he had attended the same schools that Youngjae had been too since their primary school days. He was from a very well to do family, it was very powerful. Even though they had attended school together for a long time, he had never been in Youngjae’s life, he wasn’t a friend or at least he hadn’t been.

So why suddenly had he invited Youngjae onto the team? I had been a little surprised when Youngjae had made that announcement, that he was joining the team and it seemed that now they were close now. Across the street, I quietly watch as the young handsome man takes off his scarf and puts it around Youngjae’s neck. Youngjae blushes, for the first time in my life, I see him looking a little flustered. I had walked in on such an intimate moment, but I stayed around and watch as the other boy leans in to kiss my son.

Youngjae closes his eyes and is completely receptive, he receives the kiss and suddenly I’m overwhelmed. I was conflicted, this was all part of a normal young adult’s life, finding someone they liked and being able to do something as simple as kiss them. But no, Youngjae was sneaking around and this was because he knew how badly the reaction would be. He knew this was wrong, but here he was kissing the football captain. It was all a bit too much, so I run off home unable to watch any longer. 

Just shy of an hour later, I’m preparing food when Youngjae finally enters. He had been less than five minutes away from home, but it seems that Kim Hanbin had been keeping him preoccupied. I shake my head trying not to think about it, tonight would just be our night together for dinner. It had been a while since we had eaten together, he had been staying at Jinwoon’s place, the elder son was dependant on his younger brother. Especially more so, since discovering their blood bond. I was uncomfortable with my youngest son finishing his last school year whilst living away from his parents, but I feared my oldest son. I knew that if I took Youngjae away from him then the secret that I needed to keep would be at threat.

So for now I was letting Youngjae stay with Jinwoon, as long as he was safe and attending his school and work then I didn’t have anything to complain about. Well there was plenty that I would like to complain about, but if I was to speak up then there would be a whole can of worms would be hard for me to clean up. Right now I wouldn’t disturb the peace, I would rather just sit down for a peaceful night having dinner with my treasured son.

That evening, Woobin was at work, so it was just me and Youngjae down for dinner. The boy seemed so distracted, so I take the plunge and ask the younger what he was thinking about, there was so much that he could be thinking about and if I found out, I would probably regret what would happen. But still I was worried about my child, he seemed to reach a certain age, and my bright, warm and sweet child seemed to be troubled. He was in his head and didn’t interact with people as well as he once did, not even with me his mother. I didn’t expect him to confess his relationship with Kim Hanbin, but it is but not directly.

“How did you know you loved my father?” Youngjae suddenly asks and it doesn’t surprise me as much as it should. It just worries me, why was he so curious about love? He couldn’t possibly love Kim Hanbin, it would only lead to heartbreak. Kim Hanbin was from a good family, he was set to marry Lee Hayi, it was well known around town. I knew the Kims wouldn’t allow their son to be with another man, let alone from such a lacking family.

This was all so complicated, but I hoped it would fizzle out before I even had to get involved. Instead of lecturing Youngjae, I decide to tell the story of how I fell for the cold, cool and chic top of the class, Choi Woobin.

18yrs old.

Im Chang Jung, he was who my little sister had fallen in love with. He was the unfortunate first love of Choi Woori she was the youngest and illegitimate child of my father. There was already such a complicated family tree, and it became even more complicated when my foolish little sister threw herself at a man who didn’t love her.

Im Chang Jung was a spoilt little boy, he was clever intelligent and cunning and was the most dangerous man that I had ever met. I knew he would do or saying anything that would serve his selfish purposes and he could get away with anything that he did. His rich family protected him at all costs, he was someone that I wanted to keep away from. Even though we had not grown up together in the same house, I still believed that Woori was my precious sister who I took care of. I didn’t want her near Im Chang Jung, but I knew that she was a weak hearted person.

Woori had father issues, having being abandoned by the father that she shared, although they lived in the same town and it was well known that my father had another child outside of his marriage with my mother. Watching my parent’s dysfunctional marriage had made me grow up believing that their marriage was not a valid one, they were unhappy but stayed together for the sake of their two children, it was depressing.

Growing up in a small town, I was meeting Woori during our youth had made me believe that she wasn’t someone to be hated. Despite warnings from my parents, I had gotten close to my blood sibling, I had grown fond of her and wanted to do my best to protect her. Once my parents had both passed away, it was much easier for me to openly look after my sister, I was doing all that I could to balance my home life which involved working, being married and being a father of three already.

That was why I had been totally against, Woori and her obvious feelings for Im Chang Jung. I had tried my best to guide her away, but the stubborn teen was so head over heels that she chased the dangerous young man. It had been rumoured that the man had not only a pending engagement with the daughter of a chain of supermarkets. The union was for monetary reasons, so the young man was rebelling, sleeping around with everyone and anyone.

It was well known that Im Chang Jung was in a romantic relationship with Park Minyoung, but that didn’t stop my little sister and her feelings for him. Woori was drawn to him, she liked the chase of someone who wasn’t attainable, the daddy issues were completely there but there was only so much I could do. Woori was a rebellious young lady who snuck around, and seduced the older man, and months later, she discovered that she was pregnant only to be rejected by the man and his family. Im Chang Jung the coward went running away across the world, with his family moving away and leaving Woori alone.

The younger girl had no idea what to do, she was so conflicted, should she get rid of the baby or keep it and struggle as a single mother. Her thoughts spiralled out of control, even though she was abandoned by the father of the baby she still longed for him. I knew that she wouldn’t be a good mother for her child when late into the pregnancy, she tried to take her own life. It was shallow attempt to kill herself that got Soojin and I involved, we decided to step in and take responsibility.

I would raise the child that my sister birthed as my own, and in exchange for that, she would never show up in his life to disrupt it. I had raised Youngjae well with all the love I could give him, his mother, brothers and sister all adored him and made sure he grew up well, he was raised by his family and lived happily. I wouldn’t have my sister come back and rock that stability, and the few times that she had reached out to me had made me worry that she would try and come back for her son. Fortunately, with each request from me not to return, she accepted this and stayed very far away.

Before Choi Youngjae.

However, here I was faced off with the biological father of the son that I had raised so well, the one who had not only abandoned his child, but he was the father of my adopted son and Youngjae’s half-brother. Not only that, he was the biological father of Youngjae’s close friend, that was an awkward relationship for me to watch over time. Knowing that Youngjae was close to his secret half sibling, things had become so muddled up and troublesome. I had thought over and over how to move on, should I have cut off that relationship? I knew that I wold never be able to explain my disapproval, so instead I found it better to keep a watch over their relationship.

My fears over the years had calmed down a little, Changkyun proved to be a good friend to Youngjae. Whenever Youngjae was unable to talk to Yien their closest confidant, Changkyun seemed to be there for Youngjae’s sanity. Their relationship seemed to help Youngjae blossom over the years, but at this time with Youngjae in Seoul and Changkyun still in Mokpo to raise his child, Youngjae and Jinwoon had become uncles and still I was unable to tell them. Nonetheless, frightened of losing my two precious children, I had kept the biggest secret of mine from them.

Even though Jinwoon knew half of the truth, he still did not know of his brother’s identity. Sat in front of sat a threat to that, the man who had abandoned, not one but three children, the scummy and dangerous man that I would do everything in my power to keep him away from those children and causing trouble.

“You’re so tense hyung” the man teases, he was entirely comfortable around me. He was overly confident; it was making my blood boil. For someone who impregnated my foolish and naïve sister and then abandoned her, he was overly cocky. There was no humility, he was an annoying prick who deserved the worst. But I had met with him, this was the first time in nearly three decades of both his sons’ lives, and he was acting awfully confident. What the hell did this bastard even want from me? I had foolishly met with him in order to warn him away from my children.

“How are my sons doing?” the statement sends my blood boiling, the grin on his face. I tell him to mind his business, but the man continues to sit the grin still formed across his face. “I guess that was a silly question, I have kept up with my boys anyway” I hold myself back although I was tempted to knock this guy down.

“One’s a successful lawyer, the other’s a married business owner with kids, and the other’s a homosexual teacher” the man had kept up with the children he had and it seemed but still. I was bitter and annoyed, the man instead of keeping track of his children from afar, he should have been in their lives. Sure it would have been complicated for him, but he had the money. He could have been a good father, and then I wouldn’t have had to banish my sister and I could have supported her in the raising of her child. I assumed that she would have lived with societal pressure, but with Chang Jung in his child’s life, she would have stayed.

“You’ve abandoned one of my precious child because of his sexuality, so I am back to collect him” I had abandoned Youngjae? He was one to speak! Yes, Youngjae, his mother and I had butted heads because of his sexuality, but I had hoped he was just being an immature kid. I hoped he would see that I was just worried and trying to protect him, his sexuality wouldn’t be accepting so easily, I was so worried about him. I had hoped being at odds with his mother and I would lead him to rethink things, he would be more obedient as a child. But Youngjae was strong headed, sexuality wasn’t a choice and that thinking went against what I had grown up believing in.

“Of course I understand the irony, but your hypocritical thinking is too much to bear” was the man going to start lecturing me? “You helped your illegitimate sister give birth to a child born out of wed lock” the man highlights the lies that I had told over the last century.

“Ah let’s not forget Lee Jinhyun, the desperate drug addicted woman who you tricked into giving her child to you…well our child” the man was so casual, despite the fact that he was the worse villain in this equation. “I came to give you this warning” my blood chills at those words.

“Not now, but one day, I will come for my sons, you can either make it hard for me or make easy for me” the man delivers his threat with a relaxed smile. I warn him to stay away, but the man doesn’t listen there was still a cocky look on his face right now. I had always been afraid of this man, there was something that I didn’t trust about him, I knew that he could ruin things out for the ones I loved. He was evil, and I didn’t use that word loosely for those who were around me.

“Take care of my kids hyung” the man smiles, before getting up and walking out of the café. Struck, I was scared, I knew that if I had to do something. If I continued to be stubborn then I would lose my children to a dangerous man and I would never let that happen. No I would do all that I could to protect them, I would push down my pride to defend them.

25yrs old.

It was a beautiful winter’s day, the weather was so cold and had some bite to it. It was the weather which I needed to wrap up warm for, with a jumper and smart blazer bought by my oldest child. Choi Sooyoung was a loyal child who cared about her parents, despite being married, she checked up on her mother and I often. Something her mother encouraged her to do less of, when you married you were supposed to focus on the family that you are making. However, our daughter has always been stubborn and with a soft touch of a husband like Choi Minho, she had kept herself latched onto her original family. She was still a daughter and sister as well as being a wife and mother, she balanced it all well.

Nonetheless, Soojin was lecturing her eldest son before his impending wedding. “Your wife is now your family, we are now people you won’t see much of” as Soojin tries to drill this message into him, Jinwoon grins wildly and he cutely protests. “Never, we’ll be there every Sunday afternoon for your lunch!” the man cutely replies before wrapping my arms around his neck. “Don’t be like that!” although Soojin smiles through her disapproval, she complains pushing him away. “Your wife may be sweet, but you must focus on her and not your old parents” but Jinwoon continues to complain.

Over the years, despite our ups and downs. The lies that we had told that he had discovered, the distrust we had gone through. It had been a tough road, but here we were, our son’s wedding day. The family was gathered around to celebrate the union of Jinwoon and his loving partner, after some unsuccessful attempts he had finally found his match. Choi Jinwoon was in love, there was no complications with this love, no ex boyfriends or jealousy that took over the relationship.

The Choi family was here to celebrate, the whole Choi family. Youngjae had travelled from Seoul with his police officer boyfriend Park Jinyoung, according to Junhyuk they had been together for a few years. The police officer was apparently a good man, a religious man who had kept Youngjae on a straight and narrow path. My heart flutters happily as I watched the two, it wasn’t the picture that I had for, but it was still a pretty picture. The handsome man that Youngjae had bought with him, seemed to see the sun and stars from my son, he loved him.

So when there finally is an informal introduction, done by a slightly nervous Youngjae at the wedding reception, it’s easier to swallow my pride. Soojin like most times were on the same page, our son’s happiness came before our pride. We needed to put aside our pettiness, and so we plaster smiles and greet Youngjae and the man that he proudly claims. Through light conversation we catch up, the young boy we had raised was now an independent man who was living well, he felt a little distant.

That is until we are saying our goodbyes, the wedding couple had gone off for their honey moon and it was late so us oldies were making our way out. As we leave, Soojin and I make a bee line to our son who was sat alone manning the delicious cake. I could sense the tension in his shoulders. It was the tension that he had lived with for so long in his childhood as he grew up. The tension on his shoulders as he stepped on egg shells around us, Youngjae had felt like this for so long, he had been always worried and didn’t live life as happily as I wished it had been for him.

Without even thinking about it, I wrap my arms around Youngjae’s shoulders. He freezes surprised, I don’t blame him. Even as he had grown up, I had not been the one to show physical affection like this. I had been the straight arrow, the moral compass instead of an affectionate father. Soojin had been the person who had balanced out my detachedness, she had showered the children with love and fondness. It had been many years since I had hugged my son, but from today I would shower him with hugs.

“Dad” the man is briefly caught off, before wrapping his arms before around my waist. In the corner of my eye I catch my tearful wife, she had kept by my side for so long, but I knew many years ago she wanted to break. I was more stubborn than my wife and ignored her many requests for our family to reunite. Until now, after so long not seeing my song, I am reminded that my love for my son has not gone. He was my son, and I would never let him go and fall into the wrong hands. “Dad I missed you” the young boy confesses, and like that I burst into tears, I embrace my son not even thinking about ever letting him go.

26yrs old.


	3. ...Meet Again

Youngjae’s POV

 

“Why the hell are you hiding out in my room for?” Junhyeok complains as he finishes packing the last of his bags. The man looked a little worse for wear, instead of getting some shut eye, the elder had been back out to the local bars drinking.

This had become a habit, but not one that worried me too much, often Junhyeok would have periods like this where he just needed to offload and once he was done getting it out of his system, he was back to brand new. Thankfully he wasn’t doing this during the school semester, in the break it was easier for him to do his drunken coup d’état,

 

From his attitude earlier that afternoon when I had woken him up, I had gotten the impression he was moving his party back to Mokpo. He was already making plans, plans which he was dragging me into. Today was our last day in Busan and once the man was packed, we would check out and head back to Mokpo. I had been sat in the man’s room for the last hour, since waking him up and watching him pack.

 

“Are you running away from the cute hotel neighbour?” Junhyeok teases, he hadn’t even met Brian but he assumed that the man was cute. But it was true, Brian Kang was cute, so adorable that it made me so overwhelmed.

In fact, I had been so taken by the man, after spending all the free time that I did have outside of the work retreat with the man. I wasn’t as familiar with Busan, so it was the man who was in charge of taking us around, although sometimes I had withheld sex for the man to even to think clearly. He had a ferocious sexual appetite, I had never seen someone hornier and willing.

The sex was spectacular, the man and I were a match, he tended to avoid the foreplay and went straight to business, he was my sort of lover. More than that, he was also gentle, warm and caring in bed, I got the best of both worlds and was left satisfied. we would spend our late evenings and early mornings. I had tried not to get attached to the older man but it was almost impossible when the man is outrageously delightful.

From the wild, sweaty sex to the peaceful moments we shared. We had gotten to know each other without even getting to know each other. I knew that the name he used with me was Brian, I didn’t know what he did for a living, and he didn’t know my career either. He thought that I was from China, I hadn’t confirmed or denied that to him. From what he had told me, he was from Canada, but he didn’t sound accented at all so I wondered that maybe he was local and not telling me the whole truth.

It didn’t matter, I didn’t need to know the truth about him. This was just meant to be a Busan fling, but I found myself getting attached as each day passed by. I was getting hooked on his smile, how one minute he could look completely detached from what was happening, to just connecting with me with me on a more mental and emotional level.

The chemistry that we shared was electric, not just the physical but humour wise, it had been a long time since someone I had just made me laugh like that. With Brian things never felt intense, and I realise that’s what I needed for a long time, was no complications.

“So if it was so great, why are you here with me and not with your lover boy?” Junhyeok ask when I explain that to him. “I don’t like saying goodbyes” I confess, and it was true. I was terrible at saying goodbye, I was always weak when it came to those, they always hurt. But I had to admit that I preferred when they were done on my own accord, I’d rather end something and have it be my choice than have someone leave me.

“Park Jinyoung is a tool and he didn’t deserve you” Junhyeok had learnt that in times like this, that was the best thing to say. “Kim Hanbin is a married jerk and didn’t deserve a minute of your precious time” the man adds, all caught up with my tragic love life. “Kim Jaeyong was just a jerk” the man throws in his little dig making me laugh. “Alright well then I guess we’re ready to hit the road my little, he man orders me to pick up his bag and heads out to the exist. I don’t get to argue my case as he was my only ride back home, I rush down with him and thankfully when getting to his car we don’t have any awkward bump ins with anyone.

Half an hour later we’re on the road to Mokpo, Junhyeok was a good driver, he was very laxed leaning back in the chair. Despite my countless attempts to warn the elder to slow down with his driving, the elder blasts his music and continues to force the peddle to the meddle. I give up and just nod my head to the music hoping my cooperation would at least get the music turned down to a polite level. However, Junhyeok seemed to be a little emotionally liberated, he was now loudly singing along to whatever pop song that was blasting from his phone into the speakers.

“Sana’s pregnant” the man announces loudly over the music, I hear it clearly but for acting’s sake, I pretend not to hear it. I was a normal human, there was no way that I could have heard that, unless I was a drainer. Wanting to keep my secret, I play the role and shout over the music. “What?!” I shout, Junhyeok reluctantly switches down the music before turning to me. “I got my girlfriend pregnant” the man confesses letting out a sigh, before turning his eyes to the front of the car. He looked so conflicted right now, the concept of being a father so suddenly, it was must be so surprising.

Was this reason he had been acting out so much over this last week? The partying late at night, the not so hushed arguments over the phone with Sana. I knew that they were a passionate couple, but it seemed that their arguments were more and more recently. With Junhyeok’s aversion to commitment, Sana getting pregnant must be overwhelming him right now. I couldn’t imagine what he was thinking and what he had said to Sana, Junhyeok suffered from a lack of tact.

“Shit. I’m really going to be a father” Junhyeok explains that he had been struggling to get to accept that, but he couldn’t not be in Sana’s life. “I love her and any child would have would be the best thing” Junhyeok confesses. I knew that he loved Sana, even though he didn’t show it but being with her as long as he did, he had to have felt something for her. “I’ll probably propose to her, I wish I was doing this under better circumstances. After years of patience Sana would be getting married, and also having a child with the man that she loved, but it wasn’t in the best of circumstances.

On the trip back home, Junhyeok airs all the troubles that he was having. The daunting concern of becoming a parent and messing up, but then that was balanced with the excitement of bringing a child into the world. The more he talked about it, the less tense he seemed or looked and by the time we reach Mokpo he’s discussing what kind of musical collection he would raise his child up on. The two of us get into a little musical debate which ends in the elder labelling me a music snob.

“Music is about feeling; you robot! Not about texture or thoughtfulness!” the elder mocks me, his smile was bright and the look in his eyes. I leave his car that evening feeling like I had helped a little bit, but even still I offer my time if he’s going through anything. He had done the same for me, sat through many sad little rants of a gay man and finding love, he had of course been his spectacularly blunt self and verbally kicked me in the ass and told me to stop feeling sorry for myself, something that those around me tended to be afraid of doing. If I could rely on anyone to tell me something straight, it was the two Junhyuks in my life.

The elder accepts my offer brightly. “Oh yeah dude, I’m gonna get cold feet and freak out. I’ll need you to sweet talk me out of it!” the man readily, as he drops me off in front of my apartment building. Every now and then the elder was nice enough to drop me off home, so he knew my neighbourhood like the back of his hand. Even so I tell him to get back home safe, and wish him luck with Sana, “Stick to the script” sometimes Junhyeok’s lack of filter worked against him, so I was hoping he wouldn’t mess up and say the wrong thing. “Boo boring!” the man jeers as he drives away.

With my light back, I carry it up to my apartment. It was in a decent area, not much crime, there were mostly families and the elderly that lived in the area. At this late hour most people were inside of their houses, so there weren’t many people around. So I take a quiet and peaceful stroll through the neighbourhood, it wasn’t that I was some fearless rebel. In reality there were a lot of things that scared me, but in most circumstances, I would be able to defend myself. Even as I was cold turkey, I was still strong.

The weather was ideal, it was breezy, cool. This was ideal strolling weather, the kind of weather that would be great for a romantic stroll. I had been taken a few lovely strolls like that in the past, so in this moment some of those moments hit me and leave me feeling a little lonely right now. I do my best not to think back about the person who had been plaguing my mind, hopefully the break would a busy one that could get me to forget.

With my best effort, I was putting off going home to my apartment alone, I would probably get washed and dressed and throw myself into some work. I hadn’t done all my planned work this week, but as I walk up to my apartment I get the feeling that I am being followed by someone. When I stop in my tracks to check who it was, I see that no one was there. I guess I had just been hearing things, so I head off upstairs into my apartment.

When I get inside my apartment, I find that there was already a guest waiting for me. It wasn’t a guest cause my apartment was a one-bedroom home, with one bathroom, one small kitchen and dining room area. It wasn’t glamourous, it was a wooded area, painted with warm colours. I wasn’t going to stay here for long, I was saving up for a house of my own, I had probably enough for the inside but not the outside.

“Honey you’re finally home!” the man announces as I enter my apartment. Sat on the living room sofa was sat someone that I hadn’t seen in a long time, a very good friend someone who I has thought was across the other side of the world. The handsome and older man smiles and gets up, opening his arms for me to enter. “Get your sexy ass over here!” the man’s normally deep voice, raises a few octaves, he was normally like that when he was excited to see me. I was a little surprised to see him, but still I leap into the man’s milky and toned arms.

Chuckling at my eagerness for him, the older man wraps his arms around me and starts to stroke through my hair. The man had always been this affectionate, he always felt safe to me. “Hyung missed you” Minsu whispers cutely in my ear, the man had so much charm it was hard to resist. “Did you miss me?” the man whispers in my ear, before leaving little cute kisses down my neck. I just relax in his arms; I wasn’t expecting him but it had seemed that he had turned up.

“Feel on hyung’s body” the older man teases, “The door is open but I like having an audience” the man teases. Sheepish I pull from the elder’s arms and rush to close the door behind me. Right behind me, the man holds onto my waist, he seemed clingier than normal. Kissing me down my neck, the soft kissing and moaning, the man was getting himself worked up. When he was like this, he was pretty impossible to calm down.

“No, hyung we agreed. No sex” I warn the elder, but he was so handsy. Seducing me, he was insatiable. His hands wonder down to my ass which he gives a play squeeze, just like me the man didn’t enjoy foreplay he liked cutting right to the chase. The man’s nibble fingers work quickly to the buckle of my belt, he under the belt and undoes the shorts. “Come on, can’t you help hyung relieve his stress” he was so good at seduction that I could feel myself wavering, if there hadn’t been a picture of my best friend and him I probably would have fell in his trap.

Pulling away from the elder, I head over to the kitchen area to prepare something to eat for the elder. Minsu laughs heavily as he follows me into the kitchen, he wears a pout of in his face. He wasn’t going to let rejection get to him, he was still quietly seducing me and I could tell that he was. Under all that sweet and cuteness, he wore on his face, there was a trickster. So as he takes one step forward towards me, I take another away to match that.

Most of my night is spent trying to avoid the ass that the elder was throwing to me. We go through making dinner, eating dinner, and head to the shower and bed. As we speak, we catch up over the time that we had been apart. Minsu was so much more talkative, so we spend most of the night. The elder was a well-known and hardworking photographer who travels the world taking pictures for publications and campaigns across the world.

When he wasn’t travelling the world for work, he was also travelling the world with his boyfriend Tuan Yien. They had been together a few years; the man had managed to tame my best friend. Years after our one-night stand in Seoul, he had been the first people I had sex with after my first ever heartbreak. Years later it was very obvious from the way had looked at one another, when they were finally reunited.

It took a long time for Yien to let his guard down and during that time, he helped my best friend confront some issues that had always haunted him. So I was always grateful to him, of course him being with Yien their relationship wasn’t at all typical. They were in a slightly committed relationship, I knew that they loved each other, but they had an agreement of their own, which was why Minsu didn’t even think twice in flirting with me.

Still for the sake of my friends, I wasn’t going to over complicate things. I wasn’t going to have sex with the elder, Yien was very territorial over what was his. As to not have anything bite me in the ass, I would leave it to the little bit of kissing that would keep Minsu going. I was glad to have some affection on this lonely night. Minsu was all hugs and attempts to seduce, but after I say no for the umpteenth time, he gives us.

Late into the night we talk and I can sense that the elder wanted to tell me something but he was biting his tongue. He was the kind of person who didn’t like to be prodded, instead he would reveal things in his own time. For now, I was just humoring him, but I must be tired from my journey back from Busan, so I’m the first to fall asleep.  
•4 weeks later.

When I wake up, it’s almost into the afternoon, thankfully it was a weekend. I had been back from Busan a few weeks, and school had been quite busy since our break had finished. I was glad for the rest, I hoped the weekend would be a cool and chill one. Minsu had left me a text saying that he would be out of town nearby doing business and that he wouldn’t be around for the day. Which was fine by me, I had things that I wanted to get done, so I would be busy with those little chores. But before I can head off out to do my chores, I receive a call to meet up with a close friend, so I accept and rush over to Chankyun’s shop.

“So how was Busan? Hayi asks as we catch up. The other had called me up to meet up for coffee, her kids were at a relative’s home and her husband was at work. She had called to catch up, she always calls me up for gossip. The woman seemed to enjoy living her life vicariously through me, she enjoyed all my single male stories, it was still odd and amusing. Her explanation that her life had become so boring and domesticated, that she enjoyed listening to my quote on quote fun, wild stories.

“Tell me something juicy” so I do, the woman grins. Her large cartoonish eyes sparkling expectantly, the smirk on her face shows that was very receptive about what I had to say. So I tell her a shiny version of my trip to Busan, I hype up the retreat side of things, making her believe it was more of a spa like holiday. “It was fun, I got a tan right?” I show her my arms hoping to get her a little envious. Hayi reaches over to inspect my arm, she reacts with a jealous pout across her face.

Continuing on, I talk about the beach, the sea, the food, the drinks and the clubs. It was all the things Hayi didn’t get to do often as a mother of two, she was very hands on so she didn’t hand her kids over to nannies or baby sitters. She had managed to get her brother in law to take her kids, just so we could meet up, so trips had become a thing of the past for her. She had a family and responsibility and that was something that I envied.

“Did you meet someone?” the woman asks hopefully, a little too hopefully? Surely she didn’t want to live through the stories of my holiday fling, after all it was sixty per cent sex and 40 per cent flirtation. But when I try to minimise what had happened, just that I met a guy and that we had a lot of fun. It was true after all, but I had left out the fact that I had fallen for the stranger a little bit more than I had wanted to.

Sensing something is a little off, she watches me with hopeful eyes. It had taken us so long to get to this point, the point where we comfortable around each other. Where I could talk to her about a lot of personal things in my life, but right now there were some things that I didn’t need to or want to say so I hold back and continue to socialize and chill with Hayi into the middle of the afternoon until I get a text from Minsu.

We meet at the supermarket; the man had finished his business out of town and wanted to hang out with me. I bring Minsu along to do some grocery shopping, it was just for some fresh food after my trip to Busan, my fridge was in need of some. As we do some shopping, we do some talking and this time he is a bit more open, he talks about London.

Minsu talks about his time in London with Yien Suzy and Minyoung, the man expresses his discomfort spending time with his boyfriend’s ex-girlfriends. He sounded jealous of their relationship, in all honesty it was hard to wrap his head around my codependent relationship with Yien. We were friends and yes sometimes we kissed and yes, we had had sex before. Even then, the man knew how much Yien relied on me and he couldn’t let me go.

The thing that Minsu did appreciate about me was the fact that I didn’t get involved in his arguments with Yien. I was someone who found it better to stay out of their way, but according to him, Suzy and Minyoung were too involved than he was comfortable for. He disliked that Minyoung aired her opinion about their relationship. The man didn’t know that Minyoung, Suzy and Yien shared a very deep connection, they had faced death together several times, so they were always intertwined.

Minyoung was incredibly protective of Yien and so she often got involved when Yien complained to her about any issues he had with Minsu. It was all Yien’s fault, but Minyoung was very vocal and could be annoying. There were times when I had been on the receiving end of that. As usual the only thing I can advise him to do is have a bit more patience, when taking on the big task of being Tuan Yien’s man, he needs to patient.

“Oh my gosh, Youngjae that was delicious!” Hyojin is full of positive compliments that night when she, Changkyun, Minsu and I meet up for dinner. We hadn’t hung out since my return to Mokpo and since hearing about my meeting with Hayi, Changkyun guilted me into meeting up for dinner. We were best friends and the man had pouted until he convinced me into meeting for dinner that evening.

So here were, at my house. I had prepared something to eat for the four of us, the two wolves had pretty much finished everything that I had made to eat in no time. Hyojin and Changkyun were taking full advantage of their night away from their kids. With their two precious teen and adolescent children and their business, they were always kept busy.

Hands entangled, the two are sat unconsciously affectionate. They had been together for so long, that it just seemed natural for them to find themselves in each other’s arms. Since their quite rocky beginning, once they had accepted each other’s feelings and each other, they became the perfect couple. They were right for each other, they belonged to each other, it was in their blood. Over time what had seemed like a choice, had been revealed been pretty much written in their DNA.

The pair had been imprinted on each other, but over time it had seemed more genuine. It wasn’t just that they were forced to feel that way, Changkyun who was still cool and laid back, was balanced out by the feisty and talkative Ahn Hyojin. Their angsty little love story that involved Changkyun breaking the heart of my close friend, had turned into a sweet family story. Changkyun and Hyojin would do anything for their family, their son and daughter Ji Eun and Ji Kyu were their entire lives.

Although he had always been quite responsible, Changkyun became more so when he became a father and husband. I had come to realise that as a pack leader, he had learnt responsibility of his pack’s lives, the pack’s lives and his family’s lives too. For many years the man so much responsibility and had borne with it with such grace, he had never tried to worry those around him. Including me, there had only been a few occasions that he had asked me for help and each time it was something that couldn’t be helped.

Of course I would help my friend out, we were naturally mortal enemies but it could never be like that for us. No matter what we would be close, we were the friends who had grown up together. Our bond was unbreakable, outside of my three siblings he was like another family member. He got on well with all of my family more than Yien, he had integrated himself into my family life and also he was good friends with whoever I called a friend.

When Jinyoung was struggling for friends when first moving to Mokpo, Changkyun went out of his way to include him in any social events. Knowing that Jinyoung and I were drainers didn’t stop him and Hyojin from reaching out and for that I was grateful. So whenever we had to meet up, it was rare for me to reject him. In the end, we were good friends who got along, and if anything he and Hyojin were an entertaining couple to be around.

That night, the couple get into a debate leaving Minsu and I to watch on amused as their audience. Changkyun was more relaxed in parenting approach to Ji Eun and Ji Kyu, he would let them do whatever and grow up with only intervening when he saw danger. He liked his children to get the chance to grow and experience things, it was the same way his mother had raised him and it was the same approach that his uncle Jinyoung had taken with him. He saw that he had turned out well, and so he put a lot of trust into his children.

Hyojin the mother hen was far more protective, she wanted to be update on her children’s whereabouts. Where they were, what they were doing and who they were doing this with, and she wanted this on an hourly basis. She wanted her children to be closer to home even into their teens, she had more worries and concerns, even with their oldest daughter who was now high school age. As a high school teacher myself, I could understand her wariness, her daughter was a very vulnerable age.

“What if she starts growing through her heat, and she’s around the wrong people?” Hyojin was hyper worried. It was quite unlikely, I had watched Jieun grow up into such a smart and sensible girl. She was fiery and couple defend herself when necessary. Jieun was fast approaching her sixteenth birthday, and she seemed to hang out with people of her pack who were all pretty sensible. “Plus, it’s hard for her to keep secrets from daddy” Changkyun taps his head confidently, the leader of the pack could read the thoughts of his pack.

“She would throw a fit if we did it!” Hyojin could also read her child’s mind, their whole community was linked through the mind. However, it was the higher ranking, alfas and betas who could do more roaming around through the mind, but I could also understand how Ji Eun and Ji Kyu could see it as an invasion of their privacy. After all, they were at that age where they were changing, in mind, body and soul and sometimes it was embarrassing.

Hyojin was afraid for her children’s sake, but she didn’t want to push them too much and alienate them. She was struggling watching them as they grow, the youngers especially Ji Eun were at the age of imprinting. “Maybe it could be like us, you were twenty-one and I was eighteen” Changkyun suggests, but Hyojin disapproves immediately. “Only because we weren’t in the same town earlier” according to Hyojin, their children were at the right age for imprinting. “Well if that’s the case, all we teach them to be careful” the man says before stroking through her hair.

Minsu is surprisingly quiet through the evening, he wasn’t talkative as normal. It wasn’t that he wasn’t comfortable around Hyojin and Changkyun, he was quite understanding as a human when around those of us with the supernatural. However, he looked a bit distracted, I reckoned he was thinking about Yien and was missing him. So I’m a little more affectionate that night as we lay to down to sleep, the man wraps his arms around my shoulders and finally I let slip about my fling with Brian.

The elder listens as I tell him about the man that I had met in Busan. I didn’t know where he was and what he was doing but I was thinking about him a lot, there was some longing. I missed him, but there was nothing I could do about it, I had run away instead of… I don’t what else. We were just supposed to be a holiday fling, but it felt like much more.

With no satisfying resolution for me, the elder just listens me to me vent. He knew there was nothing he could say or do that he hadn’t already told me in the past. He wasn’t one for continued lectures and reassurances. Where Yien would probably tell me off and call me a coward, Minsu understood that not everyone could be so confident. “You’re strong Youngjae, you’ll figure this out” the man simply comments, before stroking through my hair. The man reveals that he would be packing up and heading off to London to be with Yien, he was reuniting with his man. It was cute.

By the next Monday, the elder had been gone and been reunited with his lover. Leaving me in Mokpo drowning under my large case load. The school was especially busy, the teachers and students had exams to prepare for. Maths was one of the subjects that students stressed over the most, even though in real life it wasn’t something everyone needed in their everyday lives, employees did like good math results amongst other classes. So I was prepping a lot of tests, which the students would take within the next few weeks. So over all I was busy and pressured with getting the right results for my students, from my boss and myself.

The day starts off with a teacher’s meeting, with some warm drinks we sit down to get some talking. Once a week we caught up on a personal level to keep up and continue to be a well-oiled machine, and then discussed our plans to improve our grades. It was a good opportunity for us to get some synergy on our team, but for Principal Shin to take a look at our progress.

“I’m proud of you guys” Principal Shin brightly commends us for our hard work, and encourages us to keep going. Word on the grape vine was that if we were to get really good results, then the school’s funding will get a bumped up significantly. So we knew that our hard work needed to get the right results, so I was being a little bit stricter than usual. The students notice the change but most who are focused on their studies understand it.

So in class the mood is quiet and sombre, I see a lot of frown lines as the students try figure out the test questions that I had set up. I had decided to go a lot harder than the actual tests would be, if they could answer most of these questions then the ones they would get in their actual test would be a walk in the park. It’s a risky tactic that Principal Shin would not approve of, but I hadn’t told her and would be keeping it that way, in hopes that my method would work well.

With the hush of the class, I have to work double time when my phone buzzes in my pocket. I and my phone on vibrate, but in this almost silent atmosphere, the ringing of my phone would probably be heard. So I move quick to remove it from my pocket and check as slyly as I can, it wasn’t a call but a text from my favourite hyung Yien.

As I open the message, I am immediately accosted with a several nude pictures of the elder. Starting from his handsome face, the man had dyed his head back to his favourite and bright red hair, he was biting his lip in the only way a pretty boy like himself would. The next picture was of his now broad shoulders and brilliant abdomen area; the man had grown up so well. Down to his banging toned abs, there was a trail of fluff leading downwards.

My breath hitches, I should really put the phone away and focus on my class but here I was continuing to scroll downwards. The man had shamelessly sent me a picture of him gripping himself in his length. There’s a throbbing in between my legs, this was the most inappropriate time for me to be looking at this kind of picture. In all honesty, I had looked at much worse from the elder and his shameless boyfriend. I bite back a smirk from my face and take a little longer look at the elder and his length, if he was going to be shameful like then I would enjoy it as much as I would.

The school bell rings and I have to put away my phone, before dismissing my class. They’re all more than happy to be running out of the class, so I get up ready to pack up when the student body’s president Son Chaeyong approaches me. The young, pretty and prim young girl, was polite, sweet and kind to all her school mates. She was the top student and with her good family background and popularity, she leads her class mates well. With her influence, the school didn’t suffer any bullying incidents, she could be ballsy and lead well when necessary.

When it came to some of the teachers, she was a bit eager but I engage her, I would help her as long as she needed it. The look on her face was something that I recognized, the reason she was staying behind. I was a teacher and she was a student it was a cute crush she’d be mortified in the future about these feelings, or at least I hoped she would be. I was far too old, and well gay for her. So I try my best to keep it just completely professional, teacher and student relationship.

Chaeyong expresses some doubts about her tests, it seemed the test that I did give her did fluster a little bit. So I do my best to be sensitive towards that, I reassure her that it was information that we had gone over in the class. “You know this information Chaeyong!” I try to encourage her; I ask her exactly was worrying her. If needed, I would stay behind and help her, but I don’t offer her that option in case she takes it up.

After a few minutes of talking through her doubts, we find a solution for her. I get the impression her doubts weren’t just her own, she was airing out the feelings of a lot of students, so I decide I would set up a lesson plan. It would take things from my normal plan, but I had to be sure that they were confident in themselves. “Thank you Mr Choi!” Chaeyong shyly smiles and she rushes out giggling a little. I smirk unable to resist, It was cute.

Junhyeok had offered to drive me home, so I was getting myself packed up and we would meet up. As I do pack up, I think about how Junhyeok would bitch about me being late when suddenly I hear a voice that was new familiar to me. As soon as I hear the voice, the hairs on my arms stand up.

“Looking for cuddles and lovers of nerd stuff such as Star Wars” my ears prick up from the familiar voice. “Milkshakes helped my sucking skills, please become familiar” I cringe at the embarrassing and familiar sounding profile. This was my second time in the last couple of months hearing the profile and the second time wasn’t any more pleasant or funny. I would surely punish Yien and make him pay for this, but for right now I would suffer the embarrassment again. When I look up from my suitcase and up to the door, stood in the door frame was the handsome face I hadn’t seen in a while.

“Teacher-nim!” the man greets me, the smile on his face sending my heart fluttering once again. I hadn’t been expecting to see him again, but there he was, it was almost dream like seeing him again. Brian Kang was right in front me, after weeks of having him on my mind, he was right here in front of me. Was he really real?

With his beautiful smile across his face, the man looked as he had before. His hair was cut shorter, with a fade to the side but still he had the same sandy blond hair. His face was still so sharp; he was so beautiful. Shit, as he steps closer he gets realer and realer but I don’t believe his realness until his lips touch mine. The man kind of just leaps into a kiss, while reaching for my neck pulling me into a more passionate kiss.

Tingles travel down my neck, just being around him, seeing him, smelling him, feeling him, it was all overwhelming again. Was this real, was this really happening? The man continues to kiss, he pushes me more and more to the desk that was behind me. The man’s tongue finds its way into my mouth, his hands slide down to my waist as he pulls me close to him. The man was most certainly in charge, I was totally weak for him.

Anyone could walk in on us, but here I was kissing the handsome stranger’s face off. As the feelings I had repressed all weak rise up to the top, I kiss Brian my arms travelling up his muscular arms. I missed him so much, instead of saying it, I was showing him doing anything I can to push myself up on his body. He tasted so fresh and minty just like he always did, shit I couldn’t contain myself much at all.

Reaching down for my thigh, the man grips tightly before lifting me up onto the desk. The man takes space between my legs, I continue to kiss the man. His hands slide down to my crotch, he felt so good his strong hands pawing at me. Biting at my lip, the man continues to kiss me but he becomes more roughly eliciting a moan from me.

Brian’s large hands slowly travel up my thigh, towards my crotch, slowly I feel myself getting hard under his touch. He was so daring, my heart races faster. As I pull away I attempt to reason with the elder, he doesn’t pay much attention he kisses, licks and nibbles down on my neck. I groan in reaction, and even though I attempt to protest a couple more times. It’s not until the man grips the back of my hair, and just like that my control is gone in the win. I was no longer in charge of my own actions.

“Fuck me!” the words slip out of my mouth easier than they should causing Brian to laugh. “As you please” he says before, unbuckling my trousers and sliding them and my boxers down past my knees at this point. The air hits my lower half and sends more tingles down my spine. I leap up to the elder leaning in to kiss him, Brian cups my face and kisses me passionately. I slip into the kiss, wrapping my arms around his broad shoulders I pull him close.

We kiss like that for a while, before Brian pulls away. His face is slightly red as he catches his breath, he smiles pecking me on the cheek. His fingers slip to my lips, he asks to suck on his fingers and without hesitating, I lick and suck. I was so needy for this moment; I was so needy for him. “Holy shit” the man mutters as he watches me with hooded eyes.

Once the man is satisfied, he spreads my legs and puts his fingers between my legs. As he nears by entrance, he spits down onto his finger to help lube me up. It’s quite effective and helps with opening me up, I groan as finger after finger enters me, until finally the man has worked several fingers inside of me. Brian works his magic and gets me open and ready, impatient as usual I grip the back of the desk and spread my legs wider for him.

Grabbing his length, the man slowly guides himself inside of me. I groan in reply; I wasn’t expecting this today but it was totally welcome. The man slowly fills me up, he plays with pushing in and out letting me adjust to his side before grapping my hips.

Brian smiles cutely delivering a kiss to my cheek, before he starts to thrust inside of me. Satisfied I smile, I try to hold back a moan cause even this haze of sex, I was still aware that I was in a public space. Shit, the man reaches for my beck and pulling me close into a kiss. Needily, I kiss the elder gripping his shoulder pulling me closer as he thrusts hard and steady inside of me.

For a few minutes, it’s just us there in that moment. Sharing the energy, the connection and spirit of that moment. It was like a drug, the more of it that I had, the more addicted that I became for him. But as time passes I can feel myself building up more and more towards a satisfying climax. The elder thrusts into me a little longer riding out his high, before stopping to catch his breath. There is a silence that settles between us, after all we had just fucked on a desk not long after seeing each other for the first time in almost a month. Who would be the first to speak up, I couldn’t really find the right words to break this moment so I cling on.

“Tissues? Do you have any?” the man asks, when I unwrap my legs from my lover, I lean to the side opening one of my desks which in fact did have tissues. The man pulls from inside of me and my embrace, taking the tissues, not only to clean himself up but he takes on the task of cleaning me. It must have been so spur of the moment for him, after all neither of us had protection on us, but there something that I trusted about enough to do it without. That and as a drainer I couldn’t catch sexually transmitted diseases, I didn’t know what the other man’s excuse was.

Once the elder and I put back our clothes back on, I ask what he was doing there. The man answers that a friend of his coincidentally works there and that he was supposed to meet them here. “But I got a little distracted, as you can see” the man grins light heartedly. There is a brief silence between the two of us as we stare each other down, that moment is interrupted when someone suddenly enters the room, making Brian and I jump a little.

“Are you guys done now?” Junhyeok bursts in look very displeased. What had he seen? I cringe embarrassed at the thought that he had seen me being topped by some stranger on my desk. “Dude I know you work quick, but you’ve been here less than half an hour and you’re fucking my colleague?” Brian laughs in reaction. “Youngjae stay away from this creep” Junhyeok says taking my hand and pulling me to his side.

Brian laughs again in reaction, meanwhile Junhyeok stands in front of me blocking me from the elder. Wait, how did they know each other? Was Junhyeok the friend that Brian was talking about? “Youngjae?” Brian says with a raise of his eyebrow, causing Junhyeok to scoff. “You didn’t even know his name? fucksakes Younghyun!” Junhyeok disapproving berates. “Younghyun?” I let slip watching the man I had met in Busan.

“You really couldn't control yourselves could you?” Junhyeok continues to complain as he drives me home. He had completely forgot that he was to meet the man that I had now come to know was known Kang Younghyun, an old friend of Junhyeok’s at work. “I’d expect that of Younghyun but not you” I was still getting used to that name, apparently Brian was his English name that he rarely used, only with me apparently. “ You could have gotten caught by the Shinster dude, and that you have been the end of you” the man warns me to control my urges a bit better.

“Lock the door behind you next time” Junhyeok complains that even earlier when he had entered the room, Younghyun and I were too involved in each other to even notice his entrance. My face heats up embarrassed by it all. Me getting reunited with Younghyun had turned out to be a bit more heated than I had expected.

“Younghyun… hes moved to Mokpo recently… so maybe you guys can continue where you left off” Junhyeok is encouraging. Although there are few jokes, it seemed that Junhyeok had nothing but good things to say about his friend. My heart flutters at the thought of Younghyun being in the same town as me, what would mean for us? Was there an us?

I’m left to think of all the possibilities of what his move to Mokpo could mean for me, I had missed him more than I had expected. It seemed that he felt the same too, could I turn this holiday fling into more? I don’t know, but for some reason as I fall asleep, there’s a big grin that I can’t wipe from my face. Things would become more exciting for me in the near future. I could feel it, the flutters weren’t disappearing.

The next morning, I wake pretty late, I had trouble sleeping. After tossing and turning excited about the return of my holiday fling in my life, I had managed to drift off into sleep when I received a call in the middle of the night. Yien had me on video call, completely drunk the elder forces me into the conversation and forces me into a late night chatting session. Yien truly looked as good as he did in those pictures he had sent earlier.

When I confront the elder about my Grindr page, the older man wildly laughs. “You should be thanking me, because of that profile you got laid didn’t it” honestly I wasn’t wholly sure if it was the reason Younghyun had slept with me. The man seemed to have decided he was going to fuck me the moment we shared our first lift ride together, he seemed like someone who was upfront and to the point and I liked that about him.

“Are you okay?” the man asks sincerely in the middle of teasing. It was always his tactic, to get me comfortable, before checking up on me. He knew that I was more talkative when I was relaxed. But, for some reason I don’t tell him about Younghyun, probably because I didn’t want the elder involved yet. It was a little bit of a relief to me that the man was out of the country at this time, I could test the waters with Younghyun and if I was successful I would throw Younghyun into hurricane Yien.

However, I was getting a little ahead of myself right now I could simply be someone the other had fucked. He saw his fling and thought he could fit a cheeky shag whilst he was there to visit his friend, and I had made it so easy, I wouldn’t be surprised if he viewed it that.

More tossing and turning ensues, until finally slip off into a deep slumber. I don’t wake up until late into the next morning. Luckily, it’s a weekend and most people that knew me well that I didn’t function as a human before the hours of eleven, so they didn’t even try to communicate with me before then with the exception of my parents and Yien.

By that afternoon, I’m washed and cleaned and I head out to meet friends. It was Kim Hanbin and Kim Bobby, the Kim men were doing some last minute Halloween shopping and had invited me to join them. Despite my attempts to reject, Bobby uses the tone that meant he wasn’t really asking and more that he was instructing me to turn up. So I had no choice, I go along with them as they choose overly expensive mall costumes.

“Wait, so she is the one who won and kept you and she’s jealous?” Bobby complains as Hanbin explains his certain situation with Hayi and himself. Without trying, I had roped myself into the situation. “She got mad at my reaction” Hanbin confesses oh so casually, gaining Bobby’s interest. “What the heck did you do!” Bobby pokes Hanbin’s forehead lightly.

The two had grown up well, they were so handsome, well built and intelligent, with their own success in business and law. Bobby was an international success who was travelling the word, building up his company. Meanwhile Hanbin was a successful, and tough prosecutor who was on his route to getting his judgeship. Yet when they were around each other, they reverted to their childish ways.

Hanbin tries to struggle out of Bobby’s head lock, I watch on amused sipping my drink. I was used to this, it was just funny that after all the angst we had been through, we could be as friendly as we were. “Just tell me what you said dude!” Bobby seemed a little bit more interested than he should be but that didn’t seem to register with Hanbin. “Let me go!” he complains until Bobby finally releases him from his grip.

Once Hanbin straightens up, Bobby watches him expectantly but the look on Hanbin’s face whilst watching me leaves me a bit worried. “I was jealous…” Hanbin sheepishly reveals. Reaching for my hand he leads me down the aisle of the shops. “Just because we’re over doesn’t mean there aren’t some things that I still feel. It’s the same with you right?” Hanbin asks looking in my eyes, even though we had become friends, he seemed to slip into some old habits. Looking down at his hand intertwined with mine, I don’t have the heart to pull away from him.

“So you like this new guy, right?” Hanbin asks seeming very casual, as he drags me down the aisle to an outfit nearby. It was like he didn’t really want to hear the answer, but he’d just asked because of his curiousity. “A lot” I reply, even though it probably would make things a bit awkward, I found that being honest would set some boundaries between us. “Oh that cool” Bobby answers after an awkward few minutes pass by, removing me from Hanbin’s grip, the man leads me to some costumes he had his eyes on. In the past I would have been thankful for that move, but truthfully, I felt just as awkward with Kim Bobby as I did with Kim Hanbin.

The shopping trip goes well, the two men find their costumes and head off to their homes to get ready for their festivities. They were throwing a joint party at Bobby’s home, but I had declined the invite, fortunately I had a valid excuse for not attending. I was going to a party thrown by my scary older brother and his partner. So I wouldn’t be involved in whatever situation Hanbin and Hayi were going through, I was tired of the drama and hopefully they could sort it out between themselves.

When I get to Junhyuk and Soojung’s house, preparation for the night was going underway. Most of the spacious loft that they shared together was decorated in ghostly and ghoulish decorations. I help Soojung with the setting up the food and drink. The elder was the woman who had tamed down my older brother, turned him from the loud abrasive boy that I had grown up with to a quieter and calmer but argumentative man.

Although my mother got on quite well Soojung, she disapproved of the fact that Soojung and Junhyuk had not married yet. She wanted all her children to be happy and married and with Junhyuk, seeing how he had been with Soojung for over a decade she hoped that they would settle down for children. Even though she had several grandchildren through Sooyoung noona and Jinwoon, she still wanted more, she wanted her children to be happy through marriage.

Soojung wasn’t in a rush to get married, despite two marriage proposals from my brother. She had rejected him in order to focus on her career and each time she gave Junhyuk the opportunity to end the relationship, and each time he chose to stay with her.

It wasn’t because she didn’t love Junhyuk, no it was the absolute opposite. Soojung loved Junhyuk more than anyone, but she didn’t want to give up her career and end up resenting him. She had so much that she wanted to achieve, and being a mother and wife didn’t fit that at the moment, Junhyuk respected that, as did I.

Before the party starts up, Soojung invites some friends for some pre drinks, chatter and gossip. Even though she was a popular local news anchor, she only had a small group of friends, a small group of people she trusted which included best friend Hyojin, and sister in law Solji and an old friend Hyerin to the preparations. There is a lot of catching up with the ladies, it had been a while since they had all met, as I prepare drinks I am cornered by one of them. It was Soojung’s old friend from Seoul, they had grown up together and had still kept really close over the years.

Seo Hyerin was short, curvy and cute. There was a mischievous quality about her, she treats me well during her time. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I did recognise her, but I couldn’t pin point from where until Hyerin is the first one to bring it up. “Mr and Mr Kim! From the pension, you were the cute couple” she says as she pinches my cheeks fondly. Suddenly I remember, she was the woman who owned the pension that Hanbin and I had stayed in almost a decade and a half ago.

“Awww you’ve grown so nicely” Hyerin is full of compliments, he bright smile and cuteness is infectious. “Oppa said it would be this way” I don’t really know what she means by that, I don’t get the chance to ask when Soojung instructs me to get washed up and changed first. She knew I would be the quickest to get sorted out.

Once I’m done with my shower I get a call from Junhyeok, he asks my plans. Sana was in Japan with her parents to start with wedding plans, the man had finally proposed to the relief of both his family and hers. With his other half gone, Junhyeok didn’t have much to do. So I encourage him to come and join me, it would be nice to have an idiot friend to hang out with.

The man accepts and an hour later, Junhyeok accepts and keeps me company at the party. Changkyun also shows his face, having swapped shifts looking after the kids with Hyojin, now he was getting the late night freedom. Changkyun found Junhyeok entertaining so he was game for me inviting the elder. There is a brief little back and forth between he and my brother, they always played competitive over which Junhyuk was better. Of course to me it was my older brother, but I encouraged it to see Junhyuk’s reaction. He was so protective; it was amusing to watch.

When the banter is over, Junhyeok takes me to the side of the party where we couldn’t be seen. We start off the night calmly, but Junhyeok’s bad influence gets me drinking more. The man had a way of getting me to play games that I couldn’t win. Changkyun tries to intervene, but even with a sensible adult around I still manage to fall into Junhyeok’s grasp. The man had a way with words, and now I was on my way from tipsy to shitfaced, sensing this I excuse myself and head out into the spare room that was assigned to me. Facing the back garden, I watch over the rowdy partiers.

Junhyeok had already left the party, Changkyun was nice enough to drive the drunk elder home. It gives me some time to get my head from being cloudy with the alcohol, I try to find my feet. When suddenly I feel mysterious arms slowly wrap around my waist, startled I jump cause the male behind me to laugh. I turn around right in front of my face, was the incredibly handsome Kang Younghyun, my crush.

“Surprise!” the man who was dressed in a karate outfit, with some of his breast showing and a band around his head. He looked outrageously good, I wasn’t expecting to see him. He explains that before Junhyeok had gotten really drunk he had texted Younghyun to come to the party and to see me.

“So I rushed to find a costume and came running” Younghyun says with a bright smile across his face, my heart flutters at those worse.

Excited to see him, I leap into the man’s arms. Tumbling backwards, the man holds me close to him. “Did you miss me?” I can feel Younghyun his smile into my neck. I poke the man a little, I didn’t like him being so smug around me. “I’ll take that as a yes” Younghyun says as he pulls me closer.

The man laughs amused, before leaning in to kiss me. I melt into the kiss, wrapping my arms around his shoulders pulling him down. A few minutes pass in our make out session, the man was in front of my eyes and I couldn’t believe it. I hold on to him, playing with the waistband of his trousers, the man watches me closely. The look on his eyes when he watched me, there was a fondness.

“Let’s go on a date” the man says straight forwardly and to the point. I nod my head without hesitating, that was always the way with him. “Good, well give me your number and I’ll call you when I have something planned” the man says as he hands me his phone. I quickly type my number down and hand the phone over in hopes of getting back to the making out. But I’m left disappointed when the man excuses himself.

“Business calls, I only came here to see you” the man leaves but not before pulling me into a long drawn out and passionate kiss. The kind that sent tingles down my back, it was like a promise that he was giving me. I wanted more of this in the future, did he? I didn’t want to get my hopes up; dates could just be a means to an end for sex.

Feeling vulnerable and insecure, I head downstairs to get myself something to drink. Instead of getting sober, I get myself a little too drunk. As I head out to take a taxi, I feel my blood lust emerging. I bite into my tongue, I had foolishly drunk more than I should and I was struggling to control my thirst. It wasn’t often that I struggled with my thirst, after all I had been a drainer for almost 15 years. I knew my limits, but sometimes I went over those limits and found myself with this uncontrollable bloodlust.

Fortunately, my best friend is there to the rescue, Changkyun who was driving back into the party stops his car. The man had sensed something that made him uneasy and rushed to my side. Despite several attempts to decline, the man doesn’t listen. Strong enough, he lifts me up on his back and carries me into his car, he drives me all the way home and even goes as far as taking me up to my apartment.

“Kyunnie this is too much” I slur my protests, but the man doesn’t listen. He goes as far to putting me bed. It was a little embarrassing, but it was the type of person that Changkyun was, he was loyal, reliable and caring. “I know I know” the man laughs as I relay those compliments to him. The man chuckles and pets me on my head, before tucking me into bed. “Are you okay?” the elder was obviously concerned, but when it came to me, Changkyun was extra sensitive.

“Lately, you seemed a bit preoccupied” the man sits by side and voices his concern, his handsome feature knitting up in his expression. “You trust don’t me?” the man asks and I nod my head to answer without hesitation. “I’m your best friend, I hope you trust me” the sincerely expresses. I reach over for his hand to hold, whilst Changkyun smiles and strokes through my hair fondly. Feeling comfortable I reveal what was happening with Younghyun.

“I met a guy and I like him” I admit, causing Changkyun to smile. The man taps my shoulders, I giggle slightly a little tipsy. “How are you coping? Do you need blood?” the man checks on me concerned. I shake my head, I was getting sleepy and once I was asleep there would be no waking me up for a long time. By the time I woke up my blood lust should be a little. “I know I’m not exactly appetizing, but I’ll offer up some blood if you need it” the man is sweet to offer.

The gesture does however make me laugh, I decline and lay down. I could feel Changkyun’s eyes on me. “I’m scared of being hurt” I confess; I was talking about Younghyun. It had been a while since I had felt anything intensely for someone, I was scared that like most of my attempts in romance, this would end not so well. “ Has being scared ever stopped you before?” the man asks stroking me through my hair, my head becomes heavy as I try to shake my head. I murmur a no, it honestly it hadn’t.

My worst habit was jumping head first into a romance, no matter what doubts settled in my stomach to warn me away. For the feeling, I always rushed head first into a complicated situation in the name of love. As I think back to my old romances, I slowly slip into a sleep.

It’s not until the next morning that I am awoken, this time it’s a call from Changkyun who was checking up on me. Fortunately, I was fine, I was in one piece, that I reassure the elder of but he instructs me to pop over to the coffee shop to collect some food. The man treated me better than I really did deserve, but I knew that if I rejected his offer he or Hyojin would personally come there, they even go as far as delivering a warning.

Left with no other choice I get washed up and changed, on my way out I check all the texts that I had received. Some from Yien, he was having a good time being reunited with Minsu and was sending video proof. There were a couple of texts from Junhyuk texting to check up on me, after leaving his party sloppy drunk, I’m sure he’d fretted over me.

There is a text that I did receive not long before leaving the party, it was from an unknown number. But when I read the text I soon find out that it was from Younghyun, the text reads.

Last night was fun and brief, getting business done but I will go on a date with you whether or not it kills me. Till then, let’s bump into each other often!

The text was very direct and vague at the same time, so he wanted to take me on a date but it was looking like that wouldn’t be happening any time soon. I don’t know whether to be disappointed or relieved, so I settle comfortably on the fence and head to Happy Café where my best friend and his wife were already waiting for me.

“Youngjae, you look awful!” blunt as usual Hyojin greets me, with a mug of something to drink, she directs me over to a stool at the bar. “How are you?” the elder checks up on me, last time I had seen her I had been pretty tipsy. I’m sure Changkyun had filled her in about what happened in her absence. “Thanks guys” I thank the pair for their hospitality and I also thank Changkyun for carrying me home. “Oh that’s no problem, I mean you’ve done it for him before right?” Hyojin interjects whilst fluffing my hair fondly.

“The coffee has a little kick” the elder warns, so I give it a little sniff. It wasn’t alcohol, it was blood. Before I can decline Changkyun interrupts and reassures me that it wasn’t real. “It’s the synthetic stuff. I ordered some last week and no one’s ordered some yet. You should try it and tell me if it’s good” the man doesn’t listen to any of my protests.

Even though the blood was synthetic, it did smell quiet real to my nose. Unable to resist, I take a sip and it doesn’t taste as good but it’s pretty darned close. While I get my strengths up, we chat and catch up. The shop wasn’t very busy, so the pair were managing to serve the few customers that they had and also talk to me.

Hyojin was complaining slash teasing Changkyun about his lack of romance. “He used to be so sweet when we were younger” Hyojin teases which causes Changkyun to attempt to try and be a little bit cuter. Meanwhile Hyojin and I react in a taunting and teasing way, Hyojin continues to tease her husband.

“If only my husband was thoughtful” the wife teases her husband, Changkyun scoffs a little. “Like Kang Younghyun he’s super sweet though” Hyojin comments, causing my ears to perk up. “If I was a snazzy lawyer like him I could afford to be romantic” Hyojin laughs in reaction. “Have you met Younghyun? Dude’s new in town”. Changkyun points to The back to the shop and there was a familiar face.

With a woman and a child was Kang Younghyun. “Yeah that dude is smooth” my eyes were glued on Younghyun who hadn’t noticed me yet. “That’s his wife, she just came off a work assignment in Paris and he surprised her and their kid with this brunch” Changkyun reveals. Wife and kid… He didn’t mention that, now that I try to scour my brain I still couldn’t figure it out.

“So jealous! He’ll be taking them to a spa later he’s actually put some thought into it and planned. Wife. He was married. He lied. Without think I get up but knock over the cup of blood on my table. “Oh s-sorry” I apologise, I was desperate to leave but I needed to clean up. “Youngjae its fine!” she takes my mop and goes over to clean up the floor. Embarrassed I apologise, I was a little conflicted between my mess and well, the other mess in progress that was across the café.

When I look up, I see I had caught the attention of Kang Younghyun, his family unware that his eyes were with me. Overwhelmed by it all, I head off out of the coffee shop embarrassed and ego bruised. Changkyun calls after me, but I run out quick, using my speed. I didn’t want be feeling like an idiot again with people watching me.

“Youngjae!” I hear a familiar voice call out for me. Like an idiot, instead of just rushing away. I stop and turn to the man, the brightness and charm that he normally wore on his handsome and chiseled face was not present. Instead fear was on his face, fear that he had been caught.

“Look Youngjae, I can explai-“, before he can finish his sentence, I’ve leaped over at him and punched him in the face. It’s the mixture of being flustered, angry and upset that sends me flying at him. It’s not the worst attack that I’d ever delivered, but it’s enough to floor the elder. Nose bleeding the elder checks, I’m frown conflicted and irritated by the fact that I was worried about him. Changkyun comes rushing out, concerned the man checks up on Younghyun, he looks surprised. “Youngjae?” the man delivers a semi question; he knew that I wasn’t normally violent like this.

“Delete my number from your phone!” as pathetic as those words sounded from a grown man, I guess I was pissed and a little drunk from yesterday. My self-control was lacking, right now. “Is this him?” Changkyun checks, I had spoken to him about the man I liked and being afraid and it turns out there was a reason for those feelings. Yet another romantic fuck up.

“Youngjae…” Younghyun calls out, I turn on my heel and walk away. I didn’t want to speak to him right now, I just needed blood. I was thirsty.

!


	4. ...Move On

It was just the two of us together, all alone with no one to help. I couldn’t be feel that I was totally out of my depth, the little human in her cot gurgles up to me. Lying backwards, the child dressed in her little onesie. The seven-month year old, had large curious eyes looking up to her father. The little child who I had trouble connecting with, she was there in front of my eyes but I was reaching out to her, showing her the affection a parent would with their child. Why was I so detached from her?

 

Normally this was a feeling I could ignore, my interactions with her were limited to an hour of holding her whilst I watched television. Before quitting for the night and a few minutes in the morning, before heading out to work. With such short interactions, it was easy to chalk up our lack of connection due to the fact I was busy. My daughter was someone I saw for an hour and a half at the most of a busy day of work, she had her mother and I was providing for her and I was doing my duty.

 

However, this week that kind of excuse is a bit lacking. I was definitely lacking in the parenting department. I didn’t have the love and affection that this child needed from her father, there was a mental block stopping me and it was leaving me disappointed.

With her mother gone out of town for the weekend, for the very first time in her short life. I would be spending time with my young daughter alone. The child seems to look up and watch me, waiting for me to make a move and do something. It’s not like we could go on in a field and play football, and we couldn’t sit in a restaurant and get to eat and talk.

There were limited things that we could do as a pair, right now sat next to the small cot in her prettily decorated nursery. The room was coloured pink and purples, the room was decorated with fluffy and plush furniture for the little one. I rarely was in this room, not long enough to look at the details, the fairy-tale theme of the room, it seemed that Hayi had fun when putting together this room for our child.

It was nothing the child would really notice, over the crib was some a dream catcher which had been the only thing I had bought for the child. As a child she needed to cling on to her dreams, she was at the age when they would be most important for her. I reach over and play with the dream catcher, which catches the attention of my younger, I wondered what she was thinking. I reach down and pinch her cute cheeks, even with such an affectionate move, I still didn’t have any overwhelming feelings for her.

 

“Work is tough…” I try to make conversation with my child, I was just making conversation. In all honesty, work was something that I took up a huge part of my time. It was only recently that I had just started working at a new law firm. I had studied hard, so hard that I had been able to pass the bar exams sooner than most. That was me putting my head down, and putting focus on one thing, with one goal. Even though most of the things in my life had been decided for me, my love for the law had been the only thing that I had been able to choose.

Once I was done with my studies and I passed my bar exam, I moved back to Mokpo to practice at firm close to home. I decided not to use family connections, instead I went to work at a small firm which was looking for young and excited lawyers to pump some blood into them. I was doing my best to put my stamp on the company, to win cases but at the same I was also doing a lot of learning. So in this line of work I was often kept extremely busy, which was another reason for our move.

With the arrival of our child, Hayi needed the support of family and friends when taking care out of child with me out for most of the day, she got the help of a house keeper and nanny. Hay was doing her very best when it came to being a mother, it had totally changed what kind of person she was. Instead of being so focused on winning my love and having a marriage that she planned, she had all of her time taken up with our child.

It was a gift and a curse, she had so much focus on her daughter that she was too busy to both me with anything. I was getting pressured to go to certain events, or go on certain dates. She was usually with her daughter, and being with our daughter had also softened her, she wasn’t as harsh and selfish. She thought about others and their feelings, and it made my life easier all around.

The only negative of her being a mother, was that she looked tired, she was run down, hence the break she was taking. After seeing her tired for so long, I had offered the opportunity to go to Seoul and visit a friend of her. She was very reluctant as the child was so very young, but I had promised her that I would take care of the child.

As kind as the gesture was, I was partially regretting it. What was I meant to do with a seven month year old, should I just feed her, get her to sleep and clean her up? I wasn’t sure, if it was just that then it would be easy. But then I thought about how hard everyone had claimed parenting to be, was I missing something?

Fatherhood wasn’t something that I had taken to at all, I felt like a stranger towards my daughter. Looking at her, I wondered if she knew anything about how I felt? Did she know that her father was a disgrace? That’s how I felt honestly, what kind of father could look at their child and struggle on how to feel. It wasn’t that I felt nothing, but I didn’t feel the overwhelming feeling that a parent should, I didn’t feel a bursting love for her.

Feeling stuffy inside of the house, I dress up the young one putting her in a pram taking a change of nappies and clothes just in case. The young lass had been burped and fed, she was now comfortably asleep. But I was bored, I decide to take a walk with her in my stroller, I heard that walks with children bought children closer to their parents. So I do, but it soon gets boring for me, nothing I spoke about made sense.

While I’m out on my walk, I to do get a call from Bobby. All these years later, we were still the closest of friends. The man was living in Japan at the moment, whilst he worked but we still talked every day. Bobby was still one of the few people who knew me well and supported me with my decision, he had supported my decision for me to pull away from my family. When I decided that I would not let my parents further interfere, that they wouldn’t be part of my daily life. I had cut them and their meddling ways off as best as I could, but Hayi still kept us linked to them.

Hayi had kept her links with my parents, and in the beginning of our marriage there was a lot of plotting between her and my parents. More recently I have put my foot down when it comes to contact, she may want a relationship with my parents, but I didn’t. I resented them too much for the choice that they made me make all those years ago, and more and more I have detached myself from them.

As far my siblings were concerned, my relationship was just as rocky with my sister. The stubborn younger didn’t hold any regrets over her emotional blackmail, she was still so young and vain, she thought she was doing me a favour. Through Hayi was when I got to see my sister, and I could be polite and civil when needed, Mari was always more focused on her relationship with Hayi anyway, you’d be mistaken to think that Hayi was her real sibling.

Jungwoo who lived in Seoul was still someone that I talked to often, when Bobby was too busy. My younger sibling was someone who I could vent to, and the man was always there with great stories to tell of the big city. He was making the most of the freedom that I had got him, he was away from the family and had started his own animation company. According to uncle Henry, he was making a name for himself in that business and he often tried to recruit the younger. But Jungwoo was stubborn, he wanted to make his own way in the world. Much like I, the younger didn’t keep in much contact with our parents, he kept himself to himself.

Dongjun hyung and Yeeun unnie had gone to live abroad in America, after divorcing his first wife and marrying his school sweetheart. The eldest didn’t want to end his relationship with my parents, but the two elders were too stubborn to accept that Dongjun had gone against their wishes.

Regardless of this, the eldest was still trying to reach out to the people who called themselves parents. He reached out when Yeeun and he were married, and when they had their child, but it appeared my parents didn’t want anything to do with him. It was sickening, but we had remained close, he was my brother and I loved him and I knew he felt guilty for that I had to sacrifice myself for him, but I didn’t regret it. Not completely.

“Dude are you even listening?” Bobby complains, the man had been waffling on and in my thoughts I had completely got lost in my thoughts.

“Hey, next time you call. Actually listen to what I say” the man complains before saying his goodbyes. “Take care of our young princess” the man says before hanging up. His words leave me feeling guilt, over the fact that he sounded like he had more affection for my own kid than I did.

Once my call with Bobby is done, I take my child to the Happy Café shop. The Coffee shop that I used to enjoy, was now turned into a fifties style café which served warm foods and drinks.

Im Changkyun had been given the shop by his uncle who had left for a warm retirement in Greece. Changkyun had been managing the place well and had made it become of the of the hot spots to visit for even people out of town.

When I sit at the back of the shop, I wave over to Changkyun who grins and waves back. Over the years we had gone from disliking one another and now we could at least be civil. The man was busy and so he signals for his wife to come over and serve the two of us.

Hyojin is briefly distracted by my baby in the stroller, the woman coos and plays with the little baby making her giggle and laugh, a feat that I had honestly struggled with thus far.

Maybe it was because the woman was a natural, with two children of her own. At least that’s what I Tried telling myself. “what can I get you, and this little lump of sunshine then?” the normally intimating woman had melted into a bump of goo for my child. “Coffee and warm milk for this precious little things!” the woman heads over back behind the counter to get us our order.

Hearing some noise from the pram, I look down at the young one. She had somehow wriggled and taken off her socks. It was cooler weather so I needed to keep her wrapped up, so I make some adjustments taking off her coat but putting on her socks. Looking down at her I feel a little fluttering my stomach, the more I looked at the more that these grew. Maybe I wasn’t a lost cause when it came to my daughter.

“Give daddy some time, huh?” I ask the young one, but the younger doesn’t seem to take notice of my words. I keep staring at the younger, hoping that the more I looked, the more I would feel.

There is a silence between the two of us, when suddenly the jingling of the café door catches my attention. I look up instinctively and spot a face that I hadn’t seen in a long time, in fact it had been 4 years. Last time I had seen him it had been very brief.

The man had returned from Seoul and as I passed him on the street, I couldn’t resist the urge to stop and talk to him. It had been truly excruciating, from the looks of him, I could tell that he was struggling with something.

All I wanted to do was to sweep him into my embrace, to apologise for leaving him too early. I wanted to tell him that I still loved him and that the two years that we had been separated were the worst for me. But I didn’t instead I made light conversation with him and I left him on the side of the road to make it back.

“Youngjae…” the name slips out of my mouth catching the attention of my former lover, he turns to me hearing his name. Just looking at him now, he looked so good and different, his hair was a dark blue colour, with his fringe swept down across his face, he looked so handsome right now. My heart lightly flutters, just being around him made me go to jelly.

“Hanbin…” the man awkwardly replies, before greeting me. “You’re back?” I ask, the man nods his head before explaining that it was only brief and that he was visiting his siblings. With Changkyun and Hyojin busy in the back, I encourage Youngjae to join me, I don’t know why. It still felt a little awkward, but I still wanted to see him, to talk to him.

The man awkwardly accepts, seated across from me and right next to my child. Looking in the pram Youngjae is briefly silent, as if he were analysing the child. Suddenly a big bright grin spreads across his face, the baby holds his gaze. “She looks just Hayi, pretty like her mother…” I smile, cause honestly I had thought that too. “Oh but she’s got your nose, that’s… perfect” he says with a smile causing me to flutter.

Youngjae nods looking down at her, the more he looks at her the more I start to find her precious. She must be a jewel for Youngjae’s to sparkle at her like that. I try to bite back the happy grin; it was bad of me to be this happy just because Youngjae found my daughter to be cute. As the man suddenly oohs and aahs, the child suddenly burst into a carrying fit. This her first one, since Hayi handed her over to me our child. She had been so well behaved up until that point, even when she needed to poop or eat, she didn’t cry to this degree.

As the baby cries, Youngjae watches me for a reaction, but I don’t move. “I don’t know what to do, how to deal with it…” I admit, in all honesty I had always handed her over to Hayi if she did ever cry when she was around me. “I can’t be her father”, I express my truest and deepest fears to Youngjae. When he was around, I could be honest with him and not worry about the consequences, at least not now.

“Of course you can!” Youngjae encourages, the man picks up the baby and quickly gets her in his arms. Swiftly and all so naturally, he sings to her with a voice that was sweet as honey, rocking her lightly back and forth. It really was a sight to see, and within seconds she stops crying. Youngjae sings, and pets her so affectionately that it’s not long until she’s charmed, I can hear her giggling as Youngjae makes faces at her.

“Hanbin don’t do this, don’t mess this up”, Youngajae’s voice sounded so serious and stern. “You’re not a kid, you can’t throw your tantrum any longer” looking up from the baby, the man’s gaze pierces through me again. “You won’t just be punishing Hayi or your parents. You’re punishing someone really innocent” my face heats up, I was so close to tears. “If you want to get revenge, then how about becoming the parents that yours couldn’t be?” he knew me, he hadn’t even been around that long, yet he had sensed my fears in me and he had those words for me.

“Don’t have her in fear of losing you” he had surely grown up; his words had been so much more serious. Just like that, Youngjae x-rays me and it’s like he’s seen through me again. If no one else could get through to me, it seemed that Youngjae was the only one could.

Youngjae chuckles slightly, he watches me with his winning smile upon my face. “Your voice isn’t great…” the man jokes. His tone was no longer serious, he had given me the medicine and now he was giving me something sweet on top of her. “Just talk to her, be honest with her”, Youngjae says as he hands over the baby to me, she squirms a little.

“Kim Yerin … Your dad is scared… what if I ruin your life?” the baby stops moving. Youngjae encourages me to keep talking. “What if you see that I still resent your mother… will you hate me?” I say the thing that comes from the top of my head. Youngjae watches me encouraging me more, I watching him briefly. He was someone I could do this with, I could be cruel and

There was so much that I wanted to tell him. “I love you Rinnie” I kiss her, for the first time I show my daughter true affection. “That’s a start… but you need to resolve your problems with Hayi! I look up surprised at those words. “If you know it’ll affect your child, then it’s better to resolve it” the man warns me to not continuing bottling things. “How do I do it? Talk?” I ask feeling unsure of myself. “You just did it with your daughter”, there is a brief silence between the two of us, until the bell of the shop ringing.

“Good luck Kim Hanbin. Bye Rinnie, grow up well!” the man says his goodbyes, my heart is crushed watching him leave. As if she were sensing this, Rinnie leans her head on my shoulder. It felt like she was sleeping, its only confirmed when I hear her cute little snoring. I carefully put her in her pram, wrapping up her warm. When I’m all done with that I notice that Youngjae had left, without another word. I was left alone with my daughter. “Kim Yerin… it’s just you and I…”, I say petting her.

-24 yrs. 

Scrunching my forehead, I look in the mirror trying not to see just how many wrinkles I have accumulated over time. I sigh, I was getting old, I would need a lot of make up to stop the effects of this. “Unnie, work on this” I explain to the elder, Kim Nana was working doing her make up on me. I was sitting back and relaxing, letting someone else do the hard work, it was my treat for being so well behaved recently.

As I sit at my bedroom dressing table, I look through the mirror and watch my sister in law sat on my bed playing with her niece. Mari was holding Yerin and whilst she did that she was casually just chatting me with. Bouncing the baby on her knee, the younger was talkative as usual and bossy as usual she directs the makeup artist. Mari was a very big personality to be around, one that her brother struggled to be around, Hanbin still held a lot of resentment.

“If oppa is not going, then why would you go to that man’s wedding?” the younger protests, she knew his name but she didn’t think much of the anyone that wasn’t in her immediate circle. She had grown spoilt and elitist and believe there was an order to things, and believed in the class system. She didn’t regret selling her brother out because she felt that I was better match for him, she never took his feelings into account.

Today was Choi Jinwoon’s wedding, he was someone who was well known and loved around Mokpo and the older brother of Choi Youngjae. Since returning to Mokpo I’ve found that the key to survival was being kind to others. Being friendly, and outgoing meant that you were part of the community and as part of the community the people were close. They helped each other and tried to make life easier for each other.

Mari didn’t believe in the community spirit she believed in family, the younger had been loyal to me. She had always been loyal, we had known each other since we were kids, I had been there at the hospital with my mother as she went to visit her close friend. She had given birth to twins so she wasn’t in the best shape, yet the look in her eyes as she held her children. There was a spark of love that I had never seen before, Hanbin’s mother truly loved her all children.

Mari had grown up pretty spoiled, two caring parents and three brothers that adored her in their own ways. She had still taken the love of her family for granted. The things her parents had done for her to have the good life that she is, she was now a success with not one but two successful boutiques and even studied fashion abroad in fashion.

It was all things that her parents provided and to her it was just a birth right, she deserved those things and generally she did. Kim Mari had always been well behaved, she studied well and listened to her parents most of the time. The only occasion in which she went against her parents, was when she decided to pursue fashion instead of medicine as her parents had hoped. There had been a brief clashing of heads, but for their youngest daughter the Kims gave in. Something she took for granted, her older brothers had never gotten that chance.

Whilst Mari was a carefree business woman, her brothers had been the reason she was able to do what she wanted. She was single and could marry who she wanted and when she wanted to, and it was because of the brother she often complained about. It was because my husband was pressured to sacrifice himself for her, she didn’t know to what degree he suffered. I had influenced her to put that sacrifice into action, but back then I didn’t know or understand the gravity of my actions.

However she only saw what was on the surface, and that was that her favourite sister in law and brother were married with her cute niece. Years of heartbreak, she hadn’t seen her brother struggle day after day to wake up as my husband. Hanbin didn’t settle into our relationship, he struggled and was conflicted. For the first year of our marriage I hardly got to see the man unless he was sleeping and even then, there were instances in which he didn’t return home.

When the man told me he had been out all night studying, I always tried to buy the excuse. After all he was a law major, he was doing a lot of reading, and research and he didn’t study well when he was home. When he was home he was just a walking corpse, there were times when I had to drag the man out to social events or just simple times together.

For so long he wasn’t resistant to me and the life that we were living. There were many lows, and heartbreaks for me. I had schemed and conned and gotten the man of my dreams, the man I had loved and obsessed over for over a decade. But once we married that man disappeared, what replaced me was a person a robot. There was no emotion, there was no affection, no jokes, no physical contact. Not until I broke down into a flood of tears did I feel the arms of my husband around me, Hanbin was still there he still cared about me but he didn’t love me.

Years had passed, we were in our early twenties and even still my husband hadn’t shaken his first love. I had almost given up on the man that I had worked so hard to win, I wanted to let him free to be with the man he loved. I wanted be free as well, I could still live and be happy not trapped in a suffocating marriage. I could find someone who found me desirable and loved me, I knew there was someone like that already.

Part of me had been ready to let go of Hanbin, until I found out that I was pregnant with his child. I knew that I would have good support from my family, but I couldn’t imagine raising my child without Hanbin by my side.

Although initially event that had been a struggle, and when our first child arrived. Hanbin had not been very hands on or affectionate with his daughter to begin with, but eventually he fell for his daughter’s charm and has become the best father. With that he’s also become a better husband, he seems more understanding of me and is more patient with me. I was in a happy space and it had taken so long for us to get to that point, a lot of blood sweat and tears.

“I know oppa works with Choi Jinwoon, but it makes sense you going to his wedding, when his disgusting little brother is going to be there”. I frown in reply, I used to join in the bitching when it came to Choi Youngjae, hell most of the time I manipulated the conversation to do so. After all he had dared to steal the gaze of my heart, before throwing himself at Hanbin and stealing his heart. I had thought that way for so long, ignoring the obvious fact that, all the things that I had loved about Hanbin were things that Youngjae could have fallen in love with.

My immaturity, stubbornness and greed made me ignore that fact. In reality Choi Youngjae had such a hard time, falling in love with Hanbin and having to let him go. I didn’t know how severe those feelings were to this day, but if they were like Hanbin’s I’m sure he had struggled over the years.

Maybe growing up, or becoming a mother had softened me enough to try having understanding and empathy for others. I had time to thing over a lot of things, mistakes had been made by everyone and as adults we were trying to pick up the pieces and put them together again.

So I no longer held any hard feelings to the man, not anymore. “He’s someone I should be grateful to…” Mari scoffs at those words. “Are you crazy unnie? Rinnie, has your mum gone mad?” turns the question to my clueless child. “What would you have to thank that pre marriage home wrecker for?” the younger still held some resentment to Youngjae, she had never really understood just how deeply her brother’s feelings went. She didn’t know about the trouble we had over the years, I didn’t tell her and Hanbin tried not to show her, we kept a lot of secrets.

Despite several protests from Mari, her argument mostly involving clinging to my pride. I am able to get her to look after her precious niece, and get changed and leave to the wedding of the year. Choi Jinwoon, Youngjae’s older brother and Hanbin’s colleague. They often met whilst in court and according to Hanbin, Jinwoon had been nothing but courteous. The man had a reputation for being one of the better men in Mokpo, even though his older brother had essentially stolen the woman he loved and made her his second wife. It had been a lot of drama in the past.

Choi Jinwoon had reason to be petty and hold grudges, but he had invited both Dongjun and Park Yeeun to his wedding. He was someone who held no ill feelings, and from what I had seen, he had fallen in love with gym trainer Heo Solji. He had managed to put his heartbreak behind him and was inviting everyone to come and celebrate his big day. Although Hanbin was in Seoul on business unable to make it, I would be going to represent him. I had other reasons to, but it would be nice to have a few hours without parental responsibility.

The service had already been over, close friends and family had watched Choi Jinwoon and his bride become husband and wife. They were on their way to the large dining hall that they had rented out for the wedding, as I look around at the set I can’t help but feel a little jealous. With all the people filling their seats, at large dining tables with beautiful cutlery and glasses. The tables were dressed elegantly, the bride and groom both had really food taste in decorations. It wasn’t too much, it would have been the kind of wedding I would have wanted, not the rushed legal ceremony that I had.

Saying my vows with Hanbin had been lacklustre, although I had gotten the man that I loved and desired but he didn’t feel the same way. As I spilled out my guts and promised my life to him, Hanbin was blank and unresponsive. He only married me to save his siblings, for Jungwoo and Mari to choose their own path without their parent’s intervene. He even went as far as bargaining Dongjun’s freedom from his marriage. He did all that, and it had been heavy on his shoulders ever since.

Not long after I arrive, the wedding party does too and soon the hall is completely filled up. There is lots of happy chattering going on, it seems almost like I’m the only one left out as I watch on, when suddenly someone who I wasn’t expecting approaches me. “Can I take this seat?” it was Park Joy, a childhood friend and nemesis. The last time I had seen her, I had invited her to my engagement party to gloat. It was an immature move, but now we were adults and I hoped for no drama.

Park Joy looked the same, despite there have been six years that had passed. She was still youthful in her looks, she was curvy and trending winning her the eyes of the people watching us. The woman ignores the attention she was getting, and smiles watching me, but there was something a little false about the way she smiles, it leaves me a bit worried.

As the night progresses, the food comes out, followed by some toasts which included some embarrassing anecdotes and lots of laughing and crying. Once that’s all done the first dance kicks off the night of fun and dancing, things become less formal with the music playing. People were dancing and socialising, most were trying to get their piece of the bride and groom to congratulate but I figured a gift and card would suffice.

For most part everyone around the party hall was happy, they were celebrating a happy day. Apart from the person who was sat next to me, after a fifth drink of alcohol, her tongue had gotten loose and she was definitely acting out. It seemed that the years that had passed had not quelled her heartbreak and anger, Joy was not happy being here. All that she had repressed seems to come up, and I’m her first target.

“You used to be such a bitch, do you know that?” with no filter, the woman lets me know that I had been a terrible person. “If someone didn’t fall in line with you, then you had to crush them didn’t?” she slurs her words a little. Being faced with the person that I used to be isn’t a joyful experience, but I knew it was necessary. When you do bad things, there are consequences that come with it. That was something that I was trying to teach my daughter, whilst at the same time learning.

The apology that I give Joy doesn’t seem good enough for her, she was already revved up and I get the feeling that I wasn’t the person she was really angry with. I catch her glancing across the room for the nth time to Im Changkyun and his wife Ahn Hyojin. The pair were on the dance floor, slow dancing and talking. They looked so wrapped up in each other, in their own little bubble of love, it was like they had forgotten that they were in a room full of other people.

Just watching them made me envious, and for Joy who had 8 years to move on, it all looked fresh to her. Her eyes looked cold, her expression looked like it was full of anger. One-minute Joy is with me sat down bitching about her travelling around the world, the next she has her drink down on the table and is walking over to the dance floor.

Concerned for her, I get up and attempt to stop her. But I suppose being fuelled by the alcohol, she was a much stronger than she looked, she pushes me over to a table. As I land, it shakes the table enough and a glass that had been at the edge of the table falls, lands and breaks. I try to get up and go after Joy again, she was tugging at Changkyun’s shoulder and interrupting his moment with his wife. This was totally going to erupt and Joy was going to end up regretting what she was doing. So as I try and get up to try saving her from herself, I cut myself on the cut glass.

Within seconds, there’s someone by my side lifting me up. “Are you okay?” the strong male lifts me up, when I look up I’m surprised to find that it’s non-other than Choi Youngjae. He looked taller, more build and handsome. I had never really taken time to appreciate the charm that he had. I was too busy holding the grudge that I did, but objectively speaking the man was very handsome. I nod my head and thank him but remember that I needed to save Joy, but before I can move I feel a strong stinging in my arm. “You cut your arm” when I look down there was not so small wound on my arm, it was really starting to bleed.

“Come with me, I’ll get you wrapped up” the man ignores my protests, I had to stop Joy. “Changkyun is overdue a telling off, but you needed to wrap yourself up” Youngjae walks with me to the hall’s reception area. There Youngjae is given a first aid kid, and with great speed he cleans up and wraps up my bleeding cut. The man had been surprisingly cool and level headed, efficient he had cleaned up the wound. Most of all, the man was very delicate and caring to my wound.

“Thank you” a little flushed and thankful for his help. “You’re welcome, are you okay?” the man’s eyes were full of concern, it was totally alien to me. After all that had happened, all that I had done to him, I was shocked that he could watch me like this. “Congratulations, on getting a new in law!” uncomfortable with the silence that briefly settles between the two of us.

Luckily Youngjae is friendly and talkative, he seemed excited for his family to be growing. “it’s a shame I’ll only be here for a few days, I wanted to hang out with my new sis a little bit more” according to him, Solji and Jinwoon wouldn’t be going to their honeymoon for a couple more weeks, Jinwoon had a big case to take care of.

With the subject of family brought up, I can’t help but ask about Youngjae and his boyfriend. I had seen them earlier on before Youngjae did his toast, they looked quite close. According to gossip, Youngjae had been in his relationship for a few years. The man was a police officers, and they were still trying to get approval from Youngjae’s parents. This was all from the grape vine and I was sure that Hanbin knew about it, in fact I was sure this news was the reason for one of zombie Hanbin’s two month’s stints.

“I’m really happy” the man says with a smile and when I watch him close, I believe it. I knew that my happiness was dependant on his, if he was happy then I would have a husband who would get sad every now, instead of the man who was constantly sad about being separated by someone he felt so deeply for. “Thank you” I whisper once again, Youngjae declines any more thanks, he was being very modest but he didn’t know how much he helped me and my daughter. “Hanbin’s doing well” I bring up the subject that we seemed to be avoiding. “Ah… it’s a shame he couldn’t be here” the man tries to comment casually; I could still sense some discomfort.

Lying, I express Hanbin’s regrets for being busy with work. Although Hanbin was out of town for work, he had volunteered for it. He wasn’t ready to be in the same room as Youngjae and a new lover, and I understood that, so I wouldn’t force it to make myself feel better. “look. I know there was a lot of drama between us in the past, but wouldn’t it be better if we moved on?” the man asks, he was sincere about it so I nod my head in agreement.

“I’m sorry” the words slip out of my mouth. “No apologies needed, I’ve moved on and so have you, it’s best not to dwell on old things” the man tries to pave over our cracked past. “I’m pregnant…” my voice wobbles as I reveal this, I was holding back tears and I didn’t know why. There is a brief silence between the two of us, my mind was racing, why was I sorry that I was pregnant? Why did I have this guilty feeling in my stomach?

“Ah really? Well congratulations!” Youngjae finally speaks up, his tone sounded genuine, I was surprised. The look in his eyes, he was being genuine with his congratulations, but how? I had stolen someone he had loved and then tied him down with children, how could he be like this?

“Youngjae, you’re here!” a man calls out from behind us, the man slides arm to Youngjae’s waist. “Jinyoung…” Youngjae introduces me to the new man in his life, and when I see the way he watches his boyfriend I start to realise why he had seemed so genuine about his congratulations. Choi Youngjae had moved on, he was in love with another man.

Part of me is conflicted, I was relieved that Youngjae had found happiness and selfishly so. If he was happy in another relationship, then there was more chance for Hanbin to have more focus for me.

“Sorry to interrupt, but Youngjae… your father is looking for you” Jinyoung expresses politely, still aware of my presence. “M-my dad?” Youngjae stutters surprised, the man excuses himself with his new man in tow. It appeared that something more important had come up for him, leaving me alone to my thoughts. Had I done what I had come here for or had I just made myself more confused?

-26 yrs. 

 

“Wake up Kim Hanbin!” I receive a nudge to the shoulders, suddenly waking me up from my warm and pleasant dream. I was still groggy from sleep when I suddenly sit up and the first sight that greets me is the face of my co-worker and senior Choi Jinwoon. Blinking, I can see a ray of light shining past him, it was early in the morning from what I could see.

“Yet another night spent in the office” the elder tells complains, looking around my office. My shared office in the prosecutor’s department offices, my desk was scattered with tables as well as some of the takeaway I had for the last night. I guess I had slept in working hard on a tough case that was coming up. Working late nights, sleeping at the office, I was determined to put down those who used their connections to escape the law.

“Go home, don’t come back this weekend. And ace your case on the Monday with a clear mind, okay?” the elder doesn’t leave me with much choice, most of the time he let me be when I was like this. However, he didn’t like it when I pushed myself too much. The man knew that I was passionate about the law and that I hated when I saw an unfair case come up. So he let me have the freedom as my senior to work as hard as my heart satisfied me. Nevertheless, when he did see me getting into an unhealthy pattern, he would usually sternly warn me and I would cut back.

With his stern warning delivered, I have no choice but to pack up my belongings and to head over to somewhere with a shower as the elder exaggerates the state I was in. On my way to the apartment, I call my brother who was taking care of my children at the moment. It was the school holidays and so the children were staying with their favourite aunt and uncles, Dongjun and Yeeun provided a fun atmosphere. “Don’t worry, your precious little angels are giving us no trouble” Dongjun coos over the phone, I could tell being with my children was making him broody.

“Taking a break is a good idea, you should rest and do the things you would like” the elder encourages me before hanging up. I was relieved to know that my daughters were in good hands, so I text Hayi to make sure that she was fine. My wife was also out of town; she had gone to America for work. She was with a friend who would be helping her upstart her business. The text back from her reads that she was fine, that there was no need to worry.

Relieved, I head to my close friend’s apartment, it was a cool loft type of apartment that the elder bought after his divorce. The man had divorced his wife Park Junghwa a few years ago, their relationship had been a strange one. On the outside they looked like such a happy and compatible couple, but near the end of their relationship, it seemed that they just couldn’t get along. It wasn’t for a lack of trying, at least on Bobby’s side of things.

Despite the divorce, Bobby had never spoken an ill word about his ex-wife. He had even been very generous in their divorce, giving her seven figure settlement and the house that they had lived in. It was totally unheard of, for an ex-husband to this generous, when there were no signs of wrong doings on his part. But I believed it was because Bobby still loved Junghwa, and he was still hoping for a reunion.

In the meantime, the man couldn’t live in the house he shared with his ex, he lived in this loft comfortably. This month Bobby was in Japan for work, so I was using his place to avoid my empty home. I was taking advantage of the small but spacious place, I found myself being more comfortable.

Downstairs of the loft was a spacious living room, kitchen and study area. The furniture and decorations were warm, cool and inviting. Upstairs was a spacious but open bedroom area that looked over down stairs, which was fitted with a large bedroom and some bedside tables. There was a walk in closet filled with some of the coolest clothes on this planet, mostly casual clothes, some street clothes as well.

Located to the side of the bedroom area was a bathroom area, which I take full advantage of. It was a spa like bathroom, it was comfortable enough for me to have soaking bath. To relax my bones, to loosen me up. I had spent the night laying in an uncomfortable position for the night, so I really needed to soak like this for a while. I needed to go to sleep too, recently I hadn’t been sleep as well as I could be.

Once I’m washed and cleaned, I get dressed and lie in Bobby’s comfortable bed. Before I lay down to sleep, I leave a short text and set up an alarm. The person I was texting would probably at work, so they wouldn’t be texting me until many hours later. I would sleep until then.

Once my eyes are shut, sleep takes over me. But it’s not for long, or so it feels like in my head. When I wake up, it feels like only a few minutes have past, but according to my phone I had slept through the morning and most of the afternoon. I didn’t feel well rested, but the text I had received in that time leaves me willing to stay up.

A grin makes its way across my face as I read the text over and over again, my heart was fluttering with excitement. I didn’t have much time left before my guest were to join me.

There was another reason why I was staying at Bobby’s apartment, not only to relax but to have a comfortable place with the person I was planning on seducing for the day.

Once I wash my face and brush my teeth, I head down stairs to prepare a few drinks and some food.

When my guest arrives though, there is no eating or drinking, we go right to business. The man leaps into my arms, his lips attached to mine. Impatient he separates my lips with his and slips his tongue inside of my mouth. His arms travel to my waist pushing me inside the apartment, there would be no fooling around it seemed, just hot and passionate sex.

An hour later I find myself in the arms of my lover, we were in bed, naked sweaty and worked up. I pant loudly from being worked up, my ass felt a little sore but it was worth it, the pain had turned into a lot of pleasure for me. That was one of the top three sexual experiences, if I was being honest Youngjae was mainly present in that top three.

My sexual experiences were a little limited, between Youngjae, my wife and a few other sprinkled here and there. I would be lying if I were to say that I had been completely faithful to my wife throughout the span of our marriage, but once I became a father I tried to get my act together. Yet, years later, I’ve had to break the promise that I had to myself.

“Okay, I’ll get going” my lover says suddenly as he quickly sits up, before standing up and heading off. “Youngjae…” I try to protest him leaving, reaching for his arm. “We have an agreement, it’s just sex. Nothing else” the man tries to be stern in his words but I could tell he was being shaky.

“Are you really sure about it, because it feels like more?” I reach for Youngjae’s arm and try to pull him back to me, but the man struggles.

“This isn’t going to be what it was a decade ago, I’m not going to fall for you when I know that this isn’t going anywhere” Youngjae complains, he says before pulling away. Naked he walks around picking up clothes.

“Who says it’s not going nowhere?” I ask the man. “Past experience!” the man quickly counters.

“Youngjae, that night I approached you at the bar, I wasn’t doing it just for the sex” standing up, I try to approach Youngjae, to speak to him and reason with him.

“No, it was just the drinks and nostalgia” the man comments. Although it was slightly true, it was what had lead us to their first time doing this.

For ten years, we had managed so well not crossing that line. I had got married, started a family and was now a successful prosecutor. Youngjae had been to Seoul, finished his education, began and ended a career as an accountant and now he was a high school teacher.

We had gone such different paths yet we ended up falling back into our old habit. Whilst Youngjae was still conflicted by it all, I was still on the fence. Of course I was married, and I felt guilt towards my wife and children. But it has been more than ten years, and it’s been nothing short of a struggle trying to shake my feelings for Choi Youngjae.

My life went from having to leave him and not seeing him for years, to the occasional spotted sighting in which for weeks I would have to try and erase the man from my head. But two years ago, when he had moved back to Mokpo with his boyfriend Park Jinyoung, all attempts to get him out of my head were wiped away. It started with avoidance, I tried not to go to the same places as Choi Youngjae if it could be helped.

Being in such a similar social circle and the town being so slow, that was almost impossible. Having to internalise a lot of my feelings was my next step, I had to pretend I wasn’t extremely jealous. I was supposed to exchanged niceties with the man who was loving Choi Youngjae, the person who had gotten my first love, to move on. I had to try and forgot my feelings, sometimes I overworked myself and other times I drank a lot. That didn’t work well for me, and affected those closest to me.

My worried wife, begged and pleaded for me not to go down that road. I’m sure Hayi struggled knowing that I was struggling and that the reason I was struggling was because of a love that wasn’t hers. It had gotten so tangled up and messed up again, and no matter how many times I tried to cut him off, I really couldn’t. Choi Youngjae was still someone that I desired, someone I still thought about.

Honestly, I couldn’t help the feeling of elation when I discovered that he and Park Jinyoung were no longer a couple. Although the man did disappear for half a year, I thought about him every day and so when he returned back to Mokpo, I didn’t waste any time when it came to approaching Youngjae.

Yes, I had been the one to approach him, I had been the one to seduce him and I wasn’t ashamed about it. When I looked at Youngjae I couldn’t find it in myself to, the relief that I felt now with him by my side. Still half naked, I walk over to Youngjae who was now getting dressed, I wrap my arms around his waist, leaning my head onto his shoulder.

The man tries to shrug me off, but I hold onto him delivering soft kisses to his neck in order to seduce and keep him here. “I can’t do this, I can’t stay here…” the man tries to object, but I keep going. I kiss him slowly down his neck and down his back and I can feel the man relax, I keep going all the way down to his lower back. I hear soft moans leaving the man’s mouth, so I instruct the man to bend over the bed post.

Without hesitation, the man bends over arching his ass in the air. Pulling down his boxers all the way to the floor, his boxers land to my knees. Kissing his cheeks, the man moans softly, I keep going cause if seducing Youngjae kept him close to me then I would do it. I still loved him and It was almost impossible to let him go.

The next morning, I leave my lover in bed, relieved to still find him with me. Delivering a soft kiss to his forehead, I leave reluctantly just to rush out and get us something to eat, it would be enough for the next couple of days and I would work my charm to seduce Youngjae into staying with me for a little longer, I needed to be around him.

Plus, whilst outside of the house I could communicate with Hayi, I give her the excuse of being tired and resting at Bobby’s for the next couple of days. That way she wouldn’t get too concerned with me and where I was and what I was doing. We were getting along, we had fallen into a comfortable pattern as spouses and parents, we were well oiled machine. We were there for our children and at the end of the day, that was our main collective focus.

When I return to the apartment loft, I find waiting in the living room was my mother and with her was Youngjae. I hadn’t been gone that long, thirty minutes at most, so what the hell could have happened that lead to this in that short time? Youngjae was completely dressed, in a hoodie, his jeans and trainers, he was sat across the living room table from my mother.

The matriarch of my family was sat legs crossed in a modest and smart dress. As usual the elder looked well put together, and matching her outfit was her trademark grimace that she wore when she was around me. I sigh, aware of what she was going to say, and knowing that there was a mess that I was going to have to clean up after this.

“Hanbin I’ve let this continue as long as I can, you have your responsibilities” the woman starts on her lecture but I interrupt her. “I can carry out those responsibilities, I don’t have to the be Hayi’s husband” it was a decade later and I needed to put my foot down before I did more damage.

“You are being ridiculous, you married Hayi and have children to look after!!” the woman protests. Meanwhile Youngjae sits there, not speaking up and looking completely uncomfortable. “I can’t keep this up, I can’t keep looking at my wife and children and keep lying to them” I try to plead to the woman. ”STOP THIS” my mother begs, I can see that Youngjae was uncomfortable, I needed to hurry this up and speak to him alone.

“Look mum, I love Youngjae that’s never changed” Youngjae doesn’t look up at those words, doesn’t he care? “Well it needs to be, for the sake of your family, for the sake of your wife, who needs you now more than ever”. As she says those words, Youngjae looks down at his lap, he looked ashamed. “What do you mean?” I question my mother.

“Hayi hasn’t been in America because of work you fool!” the woman lambasts me before breaking down into sobs. I had never seen my mother like this, now that she has started, she can’t stop. I get an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach, my mother wasn’t one to overreact like this.

Something serious must have happened, but when I ask her to speak up, she doesn’t speak up. So Youngjae does, the man stands. He was dressed up, he even had his coat and shoes on, it looked like he was ready to go. “Hayi is sick…” those words startle me, what did he mean by sick? “She has breast cancer….”

As he says those words, I could tell that Youngjae was struck with guilt. But there was something else, he had given up on us. I hadn’t been sure he would be with me, as the divorced father of two, but I knew that I would have tried. “You need to be with her… your wife needs you and I don’t” the man speaks up.

There is a brief silence between the two of us, I want to plead with Youngjae. I want to tell that we could be together, that I didn’t have to be with Hayi to support her and my kids, but I knew it wasn’t realistic. I couldn’t just leave Hayi at this point, and it looked like Youngjae wouldn’t be willing to wait. “I’ve booked your ticket for California, the flight is in an hour. Just like that everything was set in motion, my mother is planning my trip to America and Youngjae quietly excuses himself. I’m left with no other choice; I had just gotten him back but here I Was letting Choi Youngjae go.

 

-29yrs. 

 

The picture was perfect, watching my husband play with our two young children, it was definitely something that warmed my heart. We had taken a family trip and met at the loyal park nearby. I watch on as Hayi plays with his precious daughters Yerin and Haerin. The man was a great father he lit up when he was around his children. All the sweetness, the dopiness and humorous kid I had grown up always came out for his children.

The six-year-old and three old, adore their father of course. He was the fun provider, I had to be the person to provide discipline for my children. The kids saw me more often than their father, but when Hanbin was around his children, he was funny, relaxed and welcoming. I knew that in the future he would be the one the children would open up to, he was just more open minded. I knew that I could rely on him, as long as my children were able to trust someone then I would be glad that it would be him.

Hanbin had so thoughtfully offered to keep the kids for the afternoon, so I would take advantage of it. Instead of being in the house, I wanted to go out and do something. For some reason I found myself comfortable in the Happy Café, the café had been converted from a coffee shop to a café. Run by old school friend Im Changkyun, we had gone to the same school and we didn’t have much of a relationship. But over time our social circles have shrunk and through mutual friends, we had gone from being civil to being friendly.

The man who was also a father and husband sometimes was kind enough to lend an ear to my problem, and would give me a male perspective. Today I needed to understand something from his perspective, something had been bugging me and over a hot cocoa we were talking. Leaning over the work counter, the man patiently waits for me to speak up.

“There is only one person I think I could lose my husband to” it was true, over the last fifteen years I had these fears. Youngjae had been Hanbin’s first love and I had kept Hanbin in my life only by a thread. It felt that I had kept him hostage for in all this, using his siblings, then two pregnancies and a sickness. If felt that maybe I couldn’t hold on any longer, I was close to losing Hanbin.

Since finding out about Youngjae and his burgeoning relationship, the man had become more irritable. Hanbin was moodier and harder to get on, the only people he seemed to show the sweetness and kindness that I knew he was capable of was reserved for his children. I was back and forth in my head on what to do, I loved Hanbin still. I was someone who couldn’t let him go, but maybe I needed to. If I did then he could be happy, and I could try and at least pick up the pieces of my life.

“Is that what you really want to do?” the man asks, the look on his face. He wasn’t giving me any hints on how to go, he was letting me decide this all. So I continue to vent to him, I let him know how I felt. “So you’re giving up?” the man asks, taking me back a little. The fact that he was making it seem like I was giving up, when after so long I had been the one who had held on. I had been the one who had made sure that my family stayed together, but I couldn’t take it, my heart was struggling.

“You need to do what you can live with” the man expresses, the decision would be one I had to live with. “You need to be happy too” he was right, for so long I hadn’t even thought of my happiness. I had thought of the love I had for Hanbin, but that didn’t equate to happiness. I had so many things that I had to think about, and it would take more than an afternoon off from my husband and my children….

-31yrs.


	5. ...Guilty Til Proven Innocent

Younghyun's POV.

 

This week had been difficult for me, in my first month working for the Seo and Do law firm. It was a small and upcoming law firm owned by husband and wife lawyers Do Kyungsoo and Seo Hyerin, both had reputations for being fair but winning lawyers. They often took on cases that looked to be impossible, but they succeeded and often ensured the freedom of many innocent clients. They didn’t follow the money, instead they handed their lawyers clients whose innocence they believed in, no matter what their financial situation. To me that didn’t matter either, but it didn’t mean that my cases were ever easy.

 

After a few weeks of somewhat easy cases to handle. I had been handed my first meaty case, it was a high profile case that was leaving the people of Mokpo divided. It was human versus drainer, and I had the tough task of defending someone the whole town was convinced was guilty.

The law had changed a lot since the revelation of drainers had come to the forefront of human society. Unlike television liked to show, the world hadn’t become all roses and flowers for the human and drainer community. Sure there were steps being made to improve relations between both communities, but they were slow moving.

Unfortunately, there were still some people who didn’t believe in the integration of both communities. There were humans who still feared drainers, after all they were the natural prey of the other creatures, so how could they ensure their safety?

Statistically, there were more numbers of attacks on humans by drainers being revealed. The stats kept growing by the year and it was sending humans off into a tail spin of fear. Meanwhile drainers were getting the brunt of it, they were suffering more retaliation and hate attacks from the humans.

They weren’t totally immortal either so some attempts were definitely with the intention of causing death and over the years many weaknesses of drainers had become well known. So there was a lot of animosity and conflict between both sides, and it was leading to cases like the one that I was dealing with at the moment.

Male human accuses female drainer of attempted murder. The man in his thirties claims that on approaching the woman in a bar, she worked to seduce him and when he rejected her advances. The female drainer grabbed the male human and took him to her apartment, and there she not only assaulted the man sexually, but that she tried to kill him and get rid of him. It was a totally creepy and awful story that had caused a lot of fear in the surrounding neighbourhood, it left people lacking trust with the people around them. It was definitely a case that the prosecutor’s office wanted to resolve quickly, and they had piled up a lot of overwhelming evidence against the defendant and the case approaching soon, I had a lot of hard work to do on my end of things.

With so much evidence and public sentiment against her, my client wasn’t exactly the easiest person to defend. However, her attitude left a hell of a lot to be desired, on the defensive she was making defending myself a lot harder than it needed to be. Even against me her defending lawyer, the woman was very combative, she didn’t hold much trust in me or my kind.

“Don’t mess this up for me” Kim Hyo-Jung warns me; the woman sits opposite me in my office. Dressed to the nines, she had a short cut, revealing and well-tailored blazer and skirt combination. Her hair was up in a bun and with that she had the most expensive pair of shoes I had seen on in a while. She looked incredible, but totally over the top for someone who was meant to be setting up a plan for her defense with me.

It looked like she was cocky, and that she believed that she would be getting off. Either she knew something that I didn’t, or that she thought I was going to win this case for her no sweat. The beautiful and tanned lady had been nothing short of difficult in our few interactions, she made getting information on what happened the night of the alleged attack more than a chore. In the end all I had gotten from her was that the man tried to flirt with her, she rejected him and went home. Very believable.

“So if you have no other questions, I actually have a business to run” the woman cuts short our meeting after having told me all she wanted in her defense. Her story seemed a little off, but the more I ask for clarity, the more rigid her story becomes. “I’ll keep you updated then Miss Kim” I try to reassure the lady, but she’s rushing out of the door before I’m done.

The court case wasn’t for a few days now, so in that short space I would have to think about what do to turn things around for, or else I was bound to lose this case. At the moment I had too much prep work to even think about my client’s cocky behaviour, I would talk to her later when the time was right. Maybe she was a little tense because of the charges against her, the results of being found guilty were much was death.

Over time the methods to apprehend and kill drainers was well known to those in law enforcement and authorities higher. It wasn’t to be used loosely, there were rules to be followed and if Miss Kim found herself as a guilty party, then her death would surely be imminent.

Unable to think in my stuffy office, I skip out early out of the office and head home. In the reception area of the firm is fellow lawyer Kim Hanbin, I had seen him a few times in court and knew he was a good lawyer. He was also part of the prosecutor’s office, so seeing him in this office immediately has me on my guard. Not Kim Hanbin however, the man looked irritatingly chill.

Ever so politely the man greets me before handing over some paper work, he reveals that it was some evidence. “Our office was thinking of doing some tricky things and handing this information over later and I really didn’t like that” the man smile says with a bright smile, and his eyes fluttering like butter wouldn’t melt. “Why are you doing this?” I ask unable and not bothering to hide my suspicions.

The prosecutor isn’t offended by this, instead his smile just grows until he is baring teeth. “Well because the law was created for to punish the guilty and vindicate the innocent” he answers, as if it was that simple in real life. “That’s very naïve of you to think so!” I retort much to the delight of the man. He was unfazed by me which leads me to wonder, was he being sincere or did he just have a good poker face?

Looking at Kim Hanbin, I try to figure him out. He was a slender, above average height man. He was admittedly handsome, he had a charm to him in the way he carried himself. He wasn’t like many of the swaggering assholes I found myself working with, but something was off for me.

“Honestly, I’d rather be naïve and do the right thing” the man either had a flawless poker face, or he was telling the truth. “It’s not my case, but it’s the case of an extremely annoying and overly eager prosecutor” ah so there it is, he wanted to teach some junior of his, a lesson. “I like fair fights, so here. I’ll make it fair” the man lastly says before heading out of the office.

We hadn’t gone against each other at this point. But I had made a point that in my spare time I would watch some of the lawyers that the prosecutors had on their team. Kim Hanbin seemed like a fair man, he was smart and quick witted. Not only that but he was extremely strong and wouldn’t back down when questioning both the defendants and the witnesses. He showed no change or favouring when talking to one or the other. So I would look over the evidence in good faith, but I wouldn’t be crossed, if this was a trick I would definitely make Kim Hanbin pay.

With the new and withheld evidence, I rush home and get some things done before looking over the evidence. So once I’m showered and cleaned, and I’ve fed the aquarium. I’m ready to sit down and look over the paper work that I had earlier acquired, as I flick through the folder through it appears that this junior of Hanbin’s was really willing to win with cheating ways.

While looking over the case file, I hear the pin for my house being pressed. Only two other people knew the pin for my house, I wasn’t expecting either one of them to be here, but I was least expecting my ex-wife. When I look up I spot when I turn I see my fifteen-year-old daughter face full of makeup approach me, she was wearing her permanent scowl hiding her pretty features that she got from her elfin mother.

” Mum is being annoying” with any enquiring from me the younger groans out her complaint before flopping right next to me on the sofa. 

“What did you do?” I ask the younger aware of how mistrusting I sounded. “What makes you think that I’m the one who did something?” the younger retorts.

“Because you’re my daughter and I know you well and your mother is an angel who knows only the good in the world” I meant this, Seo Sung Kyun was one of the most genuine and sweet hearted people you could ever meet, she was my best friend

“If that’s true then why are you divorcing her?” the younger mutters her retort. “Because I want to be happy, I want her to be happy too” we had discussed this as the two of us told Sora about the divorce.

“Are you unhappy about it?” I had been asking at any opportunity and she never had the answer at hand, usually I got a shrug in answer

“Would it matter if I was?” the younger sulks leaning her head into my shoulder. “I could always cancel the divorce and we could continue living together” I suggest.

“Oh no!”, sitting up suddenly, the younger quickly replies. “I like this, two house hold, two birthday and Christmas presents and divorce guilt family” the younger says with her signature mischievous grin.

Fluffing through the child’s hair, I smile looking at her, she was just as cheeky, witty and intelligent as her mother. She looked like the spitting image of her mother, she had these big bright eyes and slender pixie like nose. She looked like a little fairy, but the younger didn’t like this about herself and often hid behind thick heavy music.

“Get up” I instruct my reluctant daughter, before taking her hand and leading her to the down stairs bathroom. It was a little small and cramped but enough space for me to force my daughter in front of the sink, and hand her over a flannel I soak it in warm water and soap.

“Clean up your pretty face” I tell the younger to close her eyes and she reluctantly does so, although she does protest but she was a good girl and listens to her father. “Do you have to do this?” I had told her that I was fine with her putting on makeup when she wasn’t around me. I was trying to be a little fair, but when we were together I wanted to see her.

“Totally old fashioned, I’m a woman. You shouldn’t be afraid of your daughter growing up” she ribs me playfully. Sora knew as far as parenting, she had it good on my side of things, I didn’t have many things that I didn’t let her do. I wasn’t overbearing but I had a few requests for her to abide by when we were together and no makeup was one of them.

It may seem foolish but for now she was just a child to me, and I wanted to look at my child’s face. When she grew up I knew I wouldn’t be like this, and I was reasonable about it so Sora usually abided by this request.

Once I’ve wiped her make up, we look directly into the mirror. The girl starts to touch her cheekbones, she complains. “I wish I had cheek bones like you” her scowl returning to her face.

“Well you can’t!” I tease in reply. The younger pouts in the mirror until I have to tell her to go upstairs and get changed. Whilst she was getting to get changed, I would be preparing us something to eat. I hadn’t been expecting my daughter today, but I was happy to see her.

However, being the responsible co-parent that I was, I call Seo Sung Kyung to check up on her. It wasn’t that I was unhappy that Sora was here. No I just needed to make sure that there weren’t any issues back home that I Was adding fuel to a fire. Sung Kyung lets me know that it’s not a big issue, just issues on clothing options the normal mother daughter things.

“Ahhh right, okay” I reply relieved there were no family problems. “So how’s things?” she asks, we slip easily into conversation. We had remained close despite being separated in marriage for almost four years and being divorced for a month. We had begun as friends and I knew that we would end up being friends.

Our marriage had never been a romantic one, we had just been friends who had grown up together. Neither of us expected ourselves to become spouses. However, things had happened in both our lives that meant we both found marriage to be the only option. To those who had really known what kind of person that I was, me being married to a woman so early in my life was such a strange move, but back then it felt necessary to protect myself and the friend that I loved so much.

I was the homosexual kid who knew even at the tender age of 7 that I wasn’t normal, that I didn’t feel the way normal boys my age felt for girls.

For most of my life I had to hide who I was from my parents, sneaking around and lying to the people that I loved so much. I didn’t want to hurt and upset the elders, and so I did the best I could to just keep them from that part of me.

While at boarding school, I was always discreet with my sexual partners, and the people that I fooled around with. Even the brief relationships I had been with had been done so discreetly and ended with no drama. It wasn’t until I met a boy from California did I ever think of leaving my closet, that was when I had fallen head over heels for Park Jaehyung.

The man was funny, loud and charismatic, it hadn’t taken him long after us meeting for him to charm me. For him I was really willing to do anything, and with him I could have been anyone that I wanted. But right before I was planning on telling my parents about my sexuality, Jaehyung suddenly broke up with me, leaving me heartbroken.

It had appeared that although the elder did care for me, he wasn’t willing to take responsibility for the feelings that I had for him. He enjoyed being single and didn’t want to give that up and be single.

That was my first ever heartbreak, and it had been a long while before I could recover, but after that had happened, I took it as a sign that I wasn’t destined to ever come out of the closet.

For so long I dreaded where my life would be going, I always assumed that I would be following the path my parents chose for me. I would take over the family business, work and be married to the woman of their choice, have the children who I would pass the company on, before I died at a very old age completely regretful of the things in my life. 

Things didn’t turn out the way that I had expected, although I did get married and do have a child, it’s not the way I had seen it happen when I was younger. For one, the woman I married happened to be the woman who I had grown up with, she was someone I considered a best friend.

Secondly the daughter that we had raised, although in my heart she was my child, biologically she was not. She had gotten pregnant in her late teens to an older married man who didn’t want to take responsibility for the child that he created. He had offered my best friend lots of money to get rid of the child growing in her stomach, but unable to part with the child growing in her stomach the younger had decided to keep her child.

It was the best decision she had ever made; it had meant a lot of things for us. It meant that when she was struggling to tell her parents about who the father was, I stepped in and took the blame and responsibility. It meant that I had been given a cover with someone I trusted instead of being forced into a marriage with a total stranger of my parent’s choosing.

That decision meant that with someone with someone that she trusted, Sung Kyung could raise her child without any worries. It wasn’t an easy agreement that we had come to, of course Sung Kyung worried about me throwing my life away. She wanted to support me in coming out, instead of hiding behind her.

However, at that time, being with her seemed to be the only logical thing that I could do. Instead of marrying someone that my parents picked for me and living in a loveless marriage, I chose one full of love and friendship. I didn’t regret it, through all the rash actions of my youth, I had shared some great moments with Sung Kyung and Sora.

We had lived a pretty relaxed and ideal life, far away from the domineering eye of our parents. The Kangs were happy for me to take a small role as a lawyer, after all I had shamed the family by having a child out of wedlock. The company was passed over to my younger brother Hyun Soo instead. He had bigger goals and aspirations than me, when it came to our company.

Meanwhile the Seos were just grateful for the fact that I had taken responsibility for their grandchild, and they always showed me respect and understanding for staying at her side.

Years had passed, and the fears that I once had had dissipated and with my loving wife and friend supporting me. We made the decision to divorce for the both of us, Sung Kyung fell for someone who she sees a future with. She had even made the move to Mokpo to be closer to him and make their relationship work.

Meanwhile I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted whomever I wanted, with the blessing of my understand wife and kid.

“So who was that guy from the café? The one you ran after?” my eagle eyed daughter asks as we prepare our meal. The question seemed to have come out of nowhere, but I knew Sora well I’m sure she held in this question and tried hard not to be curious but she had failed.

The younger admits that She had seen me running after Youngjae when he had seen our family meal in the café. Struck by this fear, I ran after Youngjae needing to talk to him, I needed him not to see me as some married jerk that was having my way with him. I chased after him to explain, but I was met with an angrier and aggressive reaction than I had ever expected.

All of that had happened been weeks ago, three painful weeks and Youngjae was ignoring my calls. I didn’t know where he lived, and whenever I went to his work place, he seemed to see me coming and disappeared. Junhyeok was in Japan to try and impress his in laws, so I was left without an informant on Youngjae, not that I would expect he would be willing to. Not telling Youngjae about my marital status is something that Junhyeok would probably label as a dick move.

As for Im Changkyun one of the few people I had befriended in Mokpo, the man was keeping zipped about what he knew. The only thing he had let me know, was that Youngjae was his friend and that if I continued to mess with him then the punch that Youngjae had delivered to me the other day would be nothing in comparison. Something told me that his threat was real and should not be taken lightly.

Honestly I had barely gotten to know Youngjae all that well, five days wasn’t really enough. But when I thought back to those five days, those five funny, joyful and passionate days. Seeing Youngjae at the café was a stark difference, he wasn’t as playful or laid back. He was brutal, aggressive, upset, it was totally the opposite of what he had shown me prior to that. It took me back, but I knew that I royally fucked up. I had been slow in acting and now it looked like I was going to lose him.

“Dad?” across the living room table the younger kicks me in the shin. I yelp a little as I’m snapped out of my thoughts, and turn my attention to my curious looking child. Sora knew me and had known what kind of person that I was since she was nine, although it took her a while to adjust, she still accepted me.

“Is he the reason you guys got divorced?” the younger brings up, I could tell that she was having a hard time accepting my divorce from her mother, even though we had been separated for many years she still struggled with letting go of her family unit that we had before. That’s why Sora and I were trying to put in more effort in showing her that even though we didn’t live together, we could still be close, but Sora was still struggling.

Sung Kyung and I were trying to make sure that we still kept that family unit, without having to be in a false marriage. I had learnt that in the end, Sora responded better with honesty, it wouldn’t help me trying to shield her with a lie. She preferred when I was transparent, so I tell her truth. I hold back on a few details, that being the anonymous sex in a hotel element of things. But I told her that Youngjae was a person that I had met in Busan.

“Do you like him?” after a brief pause, the younger watches me closely for my answer. I see a flicker of disappointment on her face when I nod my head in reply.

“What does he do? What’s his job?” the questions start to fly my way. “He’s a high school teacher, maths I think” Sora scrunches her face in reaction, I don’t know whether it was the profession or the person she disagreed with.

“Did he leave because he saw us together?” the younger asks, she seemed a little defensive when making that statement. So I reveal that I had been the one to make the mistake, I hadn’t told Youngjae I was married which wins a disapproving reaction from her.

“Daaaaad! Are you foreals?!!” the younger scolds me before going into a lecture of how important transparency is. Even at her young age, the young girl knew better than her idiotic father.

If I had spoken up on the several opportunities that I had, I wouldn’t have gotten that reaction. But our time in Busan was only meant to be our time in Busan, we were a holiday fling.

So I didn’t think I needed to let him know who I was, and I didn’t need to know who he was either, it was just about the sex. That was the plan, when I recognised his face from the hook up app, I thought that it was fortunate that we were in each other’s proximity and I found him attractive.

However, things didn’t go to plan. Over those five days I end up falling for Youngjae. Back then I knew him as Tuan Mark and he had ensnared me with his looks. I honestly couldn’t decide whether or not I thought Choi Youngjae was the cutest person ever. The way his eyes turned into arcs when he laughed, and how he would laugh as well, the man had no volume control, but he had such a beautiful voice that I didn’t need or want it.

“I like a someone at school” Sora suddenly brings up comfortably in front of me. “They’re funny, cute and smart” she says with a smile, she watches me for my reaction.

“Focus on your studies!” the reply comes to me without thinking, even I can’t help but think it’s lame. “I am” the younger retorts. “if you want to date there’s no way I can tell not to date, that would be highly hypocritical, I just want you to be careful” I warn the younger.

This is received with an eye roll. “I know; I know” she dismisses before continuing onto reciting our parental lectures.

“Mum was 16 when she had me, it was tough for you guys” unable to get mad at the girl, all I can do is lightly push her. “I’m giving you three more weeks with this kid, and then I’ll have to meet him, okay?” I say much to my daughter’s chagrin. “Do I have to?” Sora whines.

“Or you could not meet him at all, I’m sure your mother would love to enforce something like that wouldn’t she?” it was true, out of the two of us, Sung Kyung was definitely the disciplinarian. She wouldn’t allow her daughter to get distracted with romance, she wanted her to avoid the path that she took, she was extra sensitive and Sora knew that. “Fine!” The younger relents before going on a mini rant on her mother.

When dinner is done, Sora heads upstairs to study. After spending most of the evening looking over case work, I head out to the café to get some coffee. Sora was at her computer working on a school project, I heard hushed talking and assumed she was talking to the new boyfriend that she had acquired.

Of course I was concerned about it, but I wouldn’t push the situation, I would put my trust in Sora and hope that she would make the right decisions. I would still keep an eye on that situation, but for now I would do it from a distance.

Needing to clear my thoughts to do some more thinking, I head outside for a short stroll through the neighbourhood. As I do, I walk past a small and warn out looking playground with a swing set and slide and not much else.

On one of the swings I recognise someone, from his side profile it looks like Youngjae. As I get closer and closer I am able to confirm that it is the man that I had been unable to find recently, he had been so elusive.

Carefully and quietly I approach him, taking a seat next to him on the free swing next to him. The man was just sat on the swing, deep in thought. 

“It’s been a while” I try to cutely greet the younger, but immediately he does nothing to hide his displeasure.

“Not long enough” Youngjae says with a deep sigh. All the shimmer and sparkle that I had seen earlier on had completely disappeared, he was totally put off my me.

“Youngjae I’m sorry, I should have been honest” I try to apologise but it looked like he wasn’t having any of it.

“Whatever it is you have to say, your situation. I already know it’s too complicated” my heart drops, was he really cutting things off like this?

“Honestly, I already have too much complicated in my life” he says as he gets up to leave. Desperate I reach for Youngjae’s arms, but he shrugs off my arm, he turns to look at me, his eyes cold and devoid of affection.

“Look, I don’t want to sign up for whatever it is you want. Thank you, no bye and goodnight”. Youngjae walks off giving me no real chance to express myself, I was nothing short of crushed right now.

I don’t know how long I’m sat in the playground for after Youngjae’s rejection, but its only when it starts to get cold do I take notice. The chill in the air felt like it had been there when Youngjae was watching me, but now I was feeling it on the outside.

Reluctantly I decided to go home and turn in early for the night. Before I do, I find that Sora was fast asleep, she looked peaceful. I take a sigh, I had no regrets being her father, no matter what happened I may have chosen a complicated life, but it was worth it because of her.

That night as I try to sleep, I slip into a familiar dream. This had been a recurring dream for the last few months, at least once every fortnight I had this same dream. It was less of a dream and more of a distorted memory.

I had recognised the dream to be of the trip that I had taken to Berlin before my wedding to Sung Kyung. While I was there I had called an old friend Yoon Dowoon to spend some time with me before the big day, I was nervous and wary about the decision I was making.

Dowoon was another best friend of mine, we had gotten close in boarding school and he was someone who had always a way of keeping me calm. Whilst I was there on a whim, we went to see fortune teller. The east Asian male who had been surprisingly been very handsome held my hands and locked me in a trance.

It was one where I didn’t see but I felt, it was a feeling that I had only ever experienced once. The man claimed that I would have a lot of struggling to do in my life, before I were to ever experience that feeling again. The man had been right, there had been an inner struggle until I felt it again. This memory had given me hope not too long ago, but now it was leaving me a little bitter and upset.

When I wake up, I find myself feeling a cold and hollow. I don’t like wallowing in the feeling, so I rush up for the day. I work quick to wash up and get dressed quickly before leaving Sora some money for the day. Nothing much but just enough for her to survive on.

As I walk into the firm, I bump into the petit and curvy boss of mine. Seo Hyerin was pint sized, and one of the partners of the firm. She was the only partner I had met, apparently Do Kyungsoo was on a sabbatical and wouldn’t be returning for a while now.

Hyerin didn’t seem to mind, she managed things well. She explains that the case that I had was important.

“Even if she’s not desirable, she still has the right to a good defence” the woman expresses before encouraging me to work hard. I assure her that I would do my best, finding her to be a fair and gentle I am genuinely encouraged by her words.

Once I’m in my office and I look over the evidence there were somethings that didn’t match up. I call up a friend of mine who was a detective, Shin Hoseok. The man was a private detective who was extremely intelligent and quick moving, in no time the man joins me to look over my case.

The man was handsome, very handsome. He was of average height but very broad, toned and outstandingly handsome, he could be a model if he wanted to be. He had lived in Mokpo all his life and knew the town like the back of his hand, he worked as a private detective for fun and then wrote stories about it like Sherlock Holmes.

“Why would Kim Hanbin be helping you out?” the man mirrors my suspicions. Maybe he thought that my client was innocent, I try to reason with the man. “That or maybe the prosecutor’s office is send you on a wild goose chase” the man counters, with all that I had thought about yesterday.

“Should I trust a person like Kim Hanbin?” I ask the man; he knew Mokpo he had to know their residents too.

“He’s not a bad person, he’s quite bright and intelligent and he has a love for the law. He doesn’t play dirty, at least not in the law” he smirks knowingly before heading off out, leaving me more suspicious than before.

Mid-day into my busy day over building her case, Kim Hyojung comes. This time she’s less bold, wearing a simple black suit no accessories or over the top embellishments. She looked more approachable.

When we talk she’s calmer, she listens to me, she speaks clearly about the night revealing the secret that had made her worried all this time. She had been in an affair, she didn’t want to drag the person who she had the affair with into this, she didn’t want to hurt them.

She was scared of losing the person she was with and was struggling with it all. “I shouldn’t want him, I shouldn’t want to be with a married man, after all there are so many complications”. As she says this Youngjae’s words ring through my head, even though the situations were reversed.

Hyojung knew the man was married, and according to her he was staying with his wife. Whilst I was divorced, but I hadn’t spoke up. But from our conversation yesterday, Youngjae seemed to want nothing to do with me based on the fact I was a father and a husband or former he didn’t let me get that part out.

Conflicted between focusing on the case, and thinking about Youngjae. I force myself to take a break and order myself a lunch from Happy Café, when I’m there to collect it I do spot a familiar face.

Sat at the back of the café, I could see Kim Hanbin there with someone, I didn’t see who it was but it looked like a man in a smart dress shirt and tie.

When the man spots me, he politely waves at me. I wave back and I collect my food. As I’m about to leave Hanbin runs over to me.

“Hey so did you look over the evidence?” I tell him that I had and I leave it at that, I didn’t really trust the man all that well yet. The man seems to catch on to this sentiment.

“Ah that’s fine! Good luck with the trial!” the man encourages; I was still unable to gauge if he was sincere or not. “The person you are going against isn’t an easy person” he warns. “That’s fine, I will work hard!” I say before wrapping up our conversation and heading off out.

Instead of going to work, I take my work and food home for better thinking. I had to change my defense and I didn’t want to sulk at work thinking of Choi Youngjae, but when I get home I find waiting for me in the living room was none other than my ex-wife who was dressed in her jogging gear.

Left with no choice, I follow change into my gym gear and follow my persuasive wife for a late evening stroll.

As we do take a walk, we go from talking about our mischievous daughter who had become more talkative since moving. To her relationship, along with a business prospect, Sung Kyung’s two-year relationship had also bought her to Mokpo. The man that she was in love was a Mokpo native, although she hadn’t told me who it was, I knew her judgement was solid and for now I didn’t push her on the identity of the man.

When it came to him being around Sora, that’s when I would have issues. But for now, I would let her enjoy her love uninterrupted. It seemed that Sung Kyung was happily in love, she reveals that her boyfriend had returned to town from business out of town.

“He has a date planned for the weekend I’m so excited”, it had been so long since I had seen her this happy. I had been pretty open through our marriage and allowed Sung Kyung to date if she wanted, but she had never met anyone that made her feel that way.

Watching her now, she seemed blissful and shy. Sung Kyung looked so youthful, not as if she was in her mid-thirties like I was. She goes onto rant and rave about how good the man is to her. 

For the first time she reveals the identity of the man, it seemed she was confident enough to reveal this. His name was Kim Bobby, he says that the man wants to meet me and Sung Kyung agrees that it would be best for family integration so I agree because she deserved to be happy.

Shoulders relaxing, the woman smiles relieved. I guess she’s concerned about how I would react and how I would

My best friend checks on me and with Youngjae but there’s no news on my end of things. I do tell her about my chat with Choi Youngjae, and how I was trying to console myself with the rejection.

“Whoa this guy must be important if he’s got you like this” the woman teases. “Was he a good lay?” the asks? I tell her that he was more than that and it was true, and that’s why I struggling as I was.

“He might… the guy…” I had discussed this before with Sung Kyung so many times. “What do you mean? From Berlin?” the woman asks. “I think he might be…” since my trip to Busan, I couldn’t shake the feeling.

Through our marriage there had been honesty between us, I had always told her the truth. I had been transparent with her, and over the fifteen years that we had shared, I had told Sung Kyung about my trip Busan. I had told her about my intense meeting fortune teller.

“Oh my god. That’s him?” I nod my head to reply, I felt like Youngjae was special and it was destiny that we had met. It wasn’t just a coincidence that my move to Mokpo had reunited us, I was shocked when I had seen him working at the same school as Junhyeok. It was meant to be fate, but so quickly things had changed.

Sung Kyung pulls me into her embrace, hugging me. I take solace in her arms, I was struggling even more with being so close to someone that I felt like this for, and not being able to be with him. It was hard.

Once our short walk is over, I head over home and prepare for the court case. I knew for some time I would be extremely busy, I hoped that maybe it would be busy enough to keep me busy from thinking over my pathetic looking love life.

For me the first day in court completely flies by, with a court full of onlookers. The jury is put under a bit of pressure is very focused on getting the right verdict, the judge also had a tough case on his hands. It was best that we came out with a result that made the town feel safe, but I worried that if I were to win, that might not be something that was possible.

The prosecution gives its side of things, they had put together an open and shut case. They accused Hyojung of being a narcissistic woman who expected to get what she wanted, when she wanted. There were former employees who testified was witnesses against her, including some people who had been apparently been in the bar before the attack.

According to some of those witnesses, they had seen the pair flirting. They claimed that Kim Hyojung was all over the accuser flirting heavily with him, but when I heard this, their statements match pretty closely what I had seen from the accuser in the paperwork. It was definitely suspicious, but it’s enough to turn the jury against Hyojung.

As we head of the court for the day, Hyojung is attacked by humans waiting outside. They jeer and shout at her, they throw eggs at her. I do my best taking off my jacket and shield the woman, I try protect her. This was extremely dramatic, but it seemed that the neighbourhood has already sentenced her as guilty, based on the story from the prosecution. I knew that I would have a lot of work to do, to change their mind.

Hyojung was looking more and more of a victim, she was being judged by a prejudice. Worse yet, there were more drainer attacks being reported it had everyone on edge. Hyojung simply being a drainer made her guilty to a lot of people, but I wasn’t giving up on her.

As she was shaken up, I decided to drive Hyojung home in her car. We talk and try to keep the conversation light, I didn’t want to stress her out even more. During the journey to her home, I pass by a library and the gaze that Hyojung gives me makes me realise who I needed to talk to. But for now I drive her home, leaving her car behind, I head off home.

When I get home, I find that Sora has bought a friend over. In her short time in Mokpo, the younger had managed to strike up a friendship with Im Ji-eun, she was eldest daughter of Im Changkyun.

Too lazy to cook, I order the pair some pizza and as we wait, I get to talk to Ji Eun. She was a quiet and reserved personality, at least she was that way in front of me. I was an adult after all, the parent of her new friend, I’m not sure she’s willing to show me her real personality. I wasn’t going to push things for her, it would be awkward it I tried hard to relate.

As we wait for our pizza Sora discusses the case that I had. With all the news and gossip surrounding the case, she had a lot of rumours and theories that she was expressing.

The younger was certain that I was defending someone who was guilty and was arguing the case against her and the case against drainers. It’s a little disappointing to hear my daughter be so narrow minded, before I could interrupt and lecture the younger, her friend Im Ji-eun beats me to the punch.

“You shouldn’t think that way” the younger speaks up, the look on her face was totally disappointment and disapproval. “Have you even been around drainers to even claim that they’re all like that?” the young girl asks.

“No, but if I was I know that I would be putting myself in danger” Sora replies listening down the reasons that drainers were a danger to society. The more she speaks, the more I could tell that her friend was being repulsed.

All this time I had thought that I had done my job as a parent, I had made sure that my daughter was more open minded. After all, I was her gay dad. I thought Sora was the type to think openly.

“I really can’t believe you’re buying this” suddenly a mischievous grin spreads across Sora’s face. “Ji-eunnie’s new so she wouldn’t know me, but dad. You know me better than that” the younger reveals that she was just playing with us, just mimicking all she had been hearing while at school.

Relieved I smile and reach over to fluff the young girl’s head, her friend who had been tense up until now sort relaxes and smiles relieved too. It appeared that girls in front of me were very open minded, which gave me hope for the future generations.

Once the pizza arrives, the pair head off to Sora’s room. There is a feeling that I can’t shake about the two of them, something was going on. In a short time of knowing each other, it appeared that they shared a secret. I would ask Sora about it when the time came, but for now I had more pressing matters.

With my child preoccupied, I visit the book shop that I had passed by earlier on when I was with Hyojung. Checking quickly with Hoseok, he reveals that the shop was owned by a man called Kang Minhyuk. His short search reveals that the man was a writer and the owner of the book shop, not only that but the man himself was married too.

Doing my job, I speak to the man who I figured was the person Hyojung was having an affair with, and when I challenge him about it. He doesn’t deny this at all, in fact he looks like he had been expecting someone to find him.

“I know you’re married and it’s a risky move” I try to convince the man to give evidence of spending the night with Hyojung. His alibi would be enough to save her; I was sure of this.

The fact that the case is so public means that I was very unlikely to get a married man to confess about an affair but I was still going to try. When I meet the man he looks to be on the surface a very calm, mild mannered and cute person, the total opposite of Kim Hyojung.

When I hand over the screen shot of him and Hyojung from the first bar that they had visited, the man doesn’t even bother hiding his reaction or bluffing. Most men in his position needed to be strongly coerced into speaking but the man was extremely honest and open.

“If I divorce my wife, I would lose a lot of funding that her family provides me” the man was a well accomplished author, but he had been given backing from his in laws. “Hyojung… she understood this and was trying to be patient” the man reveals that he had met up with Hyojung that night and they were to break up.

They were to meet and end their relationship, but according to Kang Minhyuk, it wasn’t as simple as saying the words, there were still a lot of feelings involved it always complicated things. I could understand just how hard it was to say goodbye for him, and during their meeting a phone call interrupted the both of them.

Kang Minhyuk is very open and goes through what had happened that night, the man looked to be struggling with the guilt. After all, if he didn’t come to court and defend Hyojung, he would be letting her die an unlawful death.

Still to me the man seemed mentally weak, he had all this time to come in and set the story straight for the woman that he claimed to love. I wasn’t sure that I could get him to throw his fears away and take Hyosung’s side.

There were layers to this, not only was he having an affair, but he was having one with a drainer who was under such scrutiny. All I could do was beg him to try and show up, if he didn’t then I done the best that I could do and I would save Hyojung in any other way that I could.

The next day is pretty busy I try to prepare for the next day which would be day two of the court case. I instruct Sora and Sung Kyung not to come round because I would have a lot of work to do, and for most of the day I haul myself inside setting up my arguments for the case.

I don’t know how much time passes by, but when my stomach starts to growl. I decide to head off out and get some food to eat. I needed a bit of fresh air and some time away from the work, I was starting to go loopy.

As I walk through my peaceful neighbourhood, I hadn’t eaten all day and I didn’t fancy making anything to eat, so I head over to the local curry shop, as I wait for my order to be cooked up.

While I wait, I spot Kim Hanbin he was all the way across the shop, sat at a table at the back with another male who was faced away. The male looked familiar from the back of the head, it was the man I had seen him with earlier on in the café.

Like earlier, I watched as the normally calm and composed looking Hanbin, looked relaxed, bright and animated. The way he looked at the man in front of him, nodding his head animated as he listened to the other person speak.

Although I had only ever seen the man in a formal setting, I hadn’t expected this side of him. The brightness in his eyes, his eyes sparkle, this was more than a friendship to the man, I could tell. But wasn’t he married? Hoseok hadn’t told me if he was, but I assumed that he was. What was the ring on his finger for then?

Well, with the case I was dealing with, I knew that not every married person could be faithful. But for someone like Hanbin who seemed to be preaching fairness and justice, it was a little ironic.

Most people who were having affairs, didn’t do it on their doorstep unless they were extremely brazen and Hanbin hadn’t struck me as brazen. He seemed a little self-confident, but not like a careless idiot. Yet here he was, laughing and watching the man opposite him with major heart eyes. He reaches over and strokes the man’s face, a totally romantic move for someone who was married.

Was Kim Hanbin closeted? I guess not if he was openly on a date like this. I wait for my order and watch the pair. So many thoughts run through my head, but all of that is blown away when the man sat opposite Hanbin suddenly turns showing his side profile.

Just from the side I’m able to identify that it was none other than Choi Youngjae, the man turns back to Hanbin’s loving gaze. Hanbin returns to stroking the man’s face and chatting animatedly with this man.

My heart immediately skips a beat, before it starts to feel like it was pounding out of my chest. Right now more than anything Youngjae felt like a hypocrite to me, he had rejected me claiming that he was not interested in me because of my complicated family situation. Yet here he was with his married lover. I was frustrated and want to rush out, as I do a worker calls for me to collect my food.

As I do turn back to get my food, I turn to Hanbin and Youngjae. Both had spotted me and were watching me, I feel crushed seeing Youngjae with someone else, I was swept up in a storm of jealous, anger and frustration.

When I get home I can’t but think back to our time in Busan, the other man hadn’t spoken to me about past relationships. That was how we managed to keep it light, the less we knew about each other the more we could cling to our fling. Youngjae had always seemed to be someone who was holding a quiet pain, I had wanted so badly to help him rid of it. Little did I know that he would return to Mokpo and return to his married man.

After a crappy night’s sleep, I wake the next day to a busy day. I was washed dressed and headed over to the courthouse for the second day of the court case. it was important that Hyojung got the best defense from me. She was innocent until proven guilty, but the man who had accused her of the attack was a very passionate man who was getting the court to believe his story.

According to the accuser, he had seen Hyojung in the bar and the pair started speaking. He admits to trying to flirt with Hyojung, he just had an argument with his wife and so had gone to the bar to sooth himself. He was flirting with Kim Hyojung. The man claims that he decided to head off home feeling a bit tired, however Hyojung continued to put her advances on him. When he rejected her, she followed him out and attacked him. There were no witnesses, so at this point it was his well told word, against Hyojung’s.

Hyojung’s defense was going to be far from easy, already looking at the jury, I could tell who had already decided the guilty verdict. Most of the jury had decided guilty, and I was going to have to work hard with my argument. So I start first with cutting into the man’s testimony, showing the holes in the man’s story. It does get a few reactions from the jury and those watching at the side.

Surprisingly the man’s wife wasn’t hard to convince when asking for her verbal evidence, the older woman in her mid-forties. Looked stressed and annoyed, she was didn’t hold her husband in high esteem. She does admit that she did argue with her husband, but it wasn’t for the innocent reasons that he had claimed. She reveals that the man was a habitual cheater, for many years she had put up with affair after affair from the man. She was reaching her breaking point, and now she was filing for divorce.

The prosecution goes against me, they claim that accuser’s divorce from his wife has nothing to do with what happened the night of the attack. I explain that it does when the accuser claims that he returned home to his wife after his attack, but the wife claims that he did not return for days due to their argument. As for the previous affairs, they show a different side to the man who was claiming that he was totally innocent and committed.

“He has a past of cheating on his wife, so why would he have been any different for an attractive woman half his age” I show the jury affidavits of former lovers of the accuser who was a serial cheater. This definitely wins a few more people in the jury and I can slowly feel the tide turning.

When the prosecution goes up, they question Hyojung about what she had done in the day. They ask her about what she was doing in the bar and she freezes up and gets nervous, she hardly answers the question properly. Leaving room for the prosecution to come at her hard, they push her under the impression she did attack this man. It was within her nature; she was a killer. They bring up a past indiscretion which had been written in affidavit, she had attacked someone when she became a newly made drainer. They use the fear that humans had for drainers to try and paint Hyojung in a harsh light, I have to bite down my lip to hold back my annoyance.

As we leave court for the day, it seems that the little edge that I had gained over the prosecution is cut down with Hyojung’s cross examination. The jury didn’t seem to warm to, or like Hyojung. If I put her on the stands, there would be no minds changed, they were biased against the drainer.

In the court foyer I bump into the young prosecutor, Son Seung-Wan a small pale and dainty young woman. Big bright eyes that showed a lot of competitiveness and drive. “You’ll have to bring it better than that” the younger shows off. “Or you could do us all a favour and get your client ready for the bit injection” she delivers that line with a smirk before disappearing out. I could tell why Kim Hanbin had wanted to take down this cocky young woman, and I would be sure to do it.

So once again, I try to reason with Hyojung to get her to admit her affair. She had to reveal her affair, or else her going on the stand again would be totally useless. “I love him so much” she protests, still completely reluctant to drop the one she loved in it.” If I have to die for him to be happy, then I’ll be happy for him to be happy”. I sigh realising that it was little hopeless.

Frustrated I head over to the office, trying to think of ways to go on with the rest of the case without Kang Minhyuk’s testimony. I call Shin Hoseok about the case and ask him for his help. Fortunately, the man comes over to my office, he had been busy with a large case load all day but he was kind enough to help me out.

We sit down over takeaway and look over all the evidence, and the elder who was far brighter than he looked gives me a better insight over the story. “I could try and crack the married guy for you” the man grins confidently leaving me a little wary, talking seemed like the least of his intentions.

In the short time I had spent with the man, I had come to know that he was a very open man. I could tell that he was sexually attracted to me and he didn’t bother hiding this from me. The man was a shameless flirt, he doesn’t hide who he was. It makes me a little jealous, it had taken me so long to be that kind of person.

As I had grown up and started to explore my sexuality, I still did all of this in private. It wasn’t until I separated from Sung Kyung did I ever allow myself to do more, to be more confident. To flirt with men, to be with men in public and feel no shame or worry repercussions.

Still watching someone like Shin Hoseok, who looked so much more confident. It highlights that I had a long way to go before I was settled into being myself, and of course I was flattered by the man’s advances. Nevertheless, I was preoccupied with the work I had to do for Kim Hyojung, and not only that I was still hung up on someone who I had fallen for.

That person who was still lingering in my thoughts, even though I had discovered that he was a hypocrite. He claimed that he wasn’t interested in a serious or complicated relationship, yet he was involved with Youngjae? Or was he? I didn’t quite know that, so I ask someone who could know.

Hiding behind the veil of just pure curiousity, I ask about Hanbin. “Is he a married man?” I try to ask it that way, to distance myself from Choi Youngjae.

“Why, are you interested?” the man asks with a wide grin on his face, his eyes full of curiousity. I shrug as casually as I can, just feigning innocent interest.

“I heard that he was… but when I saw him earlier, he looked really close…with some guy”, I feel my cheeks heat up from embarrassment, I really hated being jealous. I try to show my poker face. 

“Ahhh yeah?” the man sits up looking interested, before suddenly listing off all the attributes that could match Youngjae. Aware that I hadn’t revealed any link to Youngjae, therefore I shouldn’t know how he would look. I don’t acknowledge him, I just shrug claiming it was a man.

“You sure? I’ve heard from Kyunnie that it was Youngjae that you messed with”, my face immediately heats up. I guess my attempts to dig information on Youngjae had been caught out, I clear my throat and try to return to my work embarrassed by the failure.

Hoseok laughs amused, the man doesn’t even bother to hide his amusement at my expense.

“So you fell into the Choi web?” the man says with a grin. He continues to tease me, the man who was a good friend with Youngjae and once a former lover of Youngjae’s. He had known the man over a decade, and according to him, he knew Youngjae well.

“That thing between Youngjae and Kim Hanbin… it’s complicated” the man says with a serious tone, yet his words seem to make me laugh.

“Complicated…” how funny! I thought was rejected in favour of a less complicated situation. In reality, he was just finding his way to reject me for his married lover. I was bitter, jealous and annoyed, but I needed to be focused and work to save my client. It was easier said than done.

Day 3 in court is a little bit more eventful, I was fired up and ready to take down the lying accuser and prosecutor. When I watch him, the older male in his late forties, dressed in his expensive clothing that were definitely out of his budget.

The man looked quite ridiculous, he was setting me off right now. I make sure to be completely prepared, starting by showing footage of the time of the said attack. There had been no one on the said street that the accuser had claimed the attack on.

That was a little surprising for the court, but when I question the accuser they reckon than in a hazy fear they forgot what street it was. I let the man go, however I could see that the jury was starting to lack confidence. After all the man could have fabricated where it happened, and that’s when I move onto my next step. I knew that I was expecting a lot when I went to Kang Minhyuk’s shop, but luckily the man gets a conscious and comes to the court hearing.

There are a lot of confused faces when the man enters to give evidence, what’s more so Hyojung is shocked. She’s about to get up to try and stop the man, but I reach for her arm and to stop her.

“He’s doing this for you, so sit down” the woman sits down to watch me, she her lover completely concerned by him.

Once Minhyuk is sworn in I begin my line of question, he was just as he had been when I had questioned him again. He is calm and reveals his affair with Hyojung and how that night they had stayed together unable to end their affair, there are a lot of shocked faces in the court. If Hyojung hadn’t attacked the man, then surely she’d done something else as scandalous, I didn’t know if that would work in our favour.

This fact doesn’t seem to bother Hyojung at all, she’s far too emotional when watching on as prosecution cross examines Minhyuk. He’s stone cold and calm and doesn’t let Hyojung down at all.

Minhyuk doesn’t get fazed by the prosecutor, although Miss Son does suggest that Kang Minhyuk could have indeed have had an affair with Hyojung and was covering up for Hyojung because he loves her. Fortunately, Minhyuk sticks strictly to his story which was the truth and the jury seems to be at least doubt the accuser’s story more and more.

In the middle of the cross examination, Detective Hoseok sneaks in at the end of the trial, he calls me out to meet him outside. I honestly hadn’t been expecting to see him, I had heard nothing from him earlier on, so I just assumed that I would have to defend Hyojung with what I had. But it appeared that the man had been very busy helping me.

“Guess who just helped you win your trial?” the man confidently announces before handing me over a disk. Hoseok explains to me that on it was the footage was of the accuser, and he was in a blood bank to where he claimed the attack might have happened. He managed to twist the arm of the bar owner into handing over the footage.

Said footage was damaging to the whole of the accuser’s case, it showed him not only in the bar the time he said the attack happened, not only that but he wasn’t attacked by Kim Hyojung. Instead he had been with several women who he paid to suck his blood, a kink he had.

It seemed that the accusation to Kim Hyojung was simply because he knew her, he was someone who often came to the boutique that she owned. He had become obsessed with the woman and stalked her down, and on his first attempt to flirt with the woman he failed miserably.

Hoseok had been incredibly busy finding employees of Hyojung who back her up about the constant visits. Not only that but the staff of the bar claim that accuser had been the first to try and make the move, with the evidence that I had earlier, I knew I could win this case for my innocent client.

Before I head inside of court, Hoseok reaches for my arm and he watches me closely. “Don’t give up on him… Choi Youngjae” the words surprise me. “Don’t let him push you away… just don’t…” the man says that before letting me go. He doesn’t give me a reason why, instead he leaves me with those words. That’s it, I’m not able to put much thought into it and I try to put my whole focus on the case.

Luckily, the court case is easier to manage once the footage is revealed to the court. Despite the prosecution’s accusation that this could be doctored footage, we still manage to leave the doubt in the jury’s mind. What drives forward the cases are the witness testimonies, that we had written statements from Hyojung’s employees as well as the bar staff. The written word is allowed in the court and so after the prosecution and I leave our last statements. There is nothing left to do but to wait on their decision.

Prosecutor Son Seung-wan isn’t as confident as she was earlier on, just looking at her this time she was evidently annoyed. That wouldn’t be something that I would be feeling bad for, I had done my job and it was the right thing cause in the end Kim Hyojung was innocent. She was being set up and it looked like Prosecutor Son was starting to believe in that.

Son Seung-wan would have a lot of hard work for her, it looked like her client had been committing perjury. She would try and find the best deal for her client, but I could only hope the court made an example of him.

On my way out I see Hyojung and Kang Minhyuk had been reunited, the pair were hushed in the corner talking. It looked intense, but even as she watched the man who had been a coward up until this point. Hyojung looked so much softer when around the man, her eyes sparkled as she watched him. It was very obvious to see that she loved the man, she held no ill feelings to the man as she accepts the embrace of the man she loved. I excuse myself and leave the two to their moment, I would call her later.

That evening I head over to the Happy Café, I liked the place and the coffee. Too tired to cook, I head over there to get myself something to eat and drink. While I wait for my food to be prepared, I call my precious daughter to check up on her.

Sora was staying with Im Jieun, the two were becoming more and more inseparable. We talk just briefly in a catch up session, the girl seemed distracted by something. She claims that she was studying for a test that was coming up soon, she tells me she loves me before hanging up.

Feeling like a father who was losing her daughter, I sigh feeling a little saddened by it all. She was growing up and I knew this was the age of secrets, that was the age you pull away and try to live your own life. You felt like a grown up, you didn’t need your parents to help you because you had your brain, your own thoughts and desires. The worst thing I could do as a parent is try and push myself into her life, all I would do is keep the door open to her and allow her to come running to me if she wanted.

Later once my order is prepared, as I’m about to walk out, in the doorway I spot Choi Youngjae. Even though I feel flutters in my stomach, I was still annoyed with him.

“Ah Youngjae, how’s Kim Hanbin doing?” the younger doesn’t answer but I proceed on anyway. “You two seem close?” I prod further much to his displeasure. “Have you been doing your research or something?” Why was his reaction to me still this cold? I knew he was involved with a married man and he didn’t even hide his shame?

Losing my patience, I push on further. “I asked if you were close”, even my tone startles me. “No you didn’t you passively made a comment expecting an answer” Youngjae retorts. “Then give me an answer” I say as I reach for Youngjae’s hand to stop him.

“Yeah we are”, the man replies with an exasperated gasp, before unhooking my arms. “I guess there’s an exception to your complicated rule, or do you like a specific type of married man?” bitter I say. I don’t know why I’m like this, I may be jealous but I knew the way I was speaking to Youngjae was more than that. I was speaking as I had been with Youngjae longer than five days, like we had been in a serious relationship. Youngjae looks annoyed.

“Maybe I like the ones who tell me they’re married from the beginning” Youngjae retorts. I frown feeling a flicker of guilt. “Youngjae I-“ I do try to apologise, but the man doesn’t give me the chance to. “I meant what I said last time. I don’t want to be around you” Youngjae says, but I can’t just let it go at that, my heart wouldn’t let me.

“I haven’t ever felt like this for anyone like this before” it was the truth, I hadnt felt this intensely for a person in such a short amount of time for a long time not since Jaehyung. Youngjae doesn’t even stop once, my words don’t seem to do anything or affect him. I’m just left to watch him as he walks away. Why did it hurt like this?


	6. ...Our Future

“Why are you being like this?” the normally cool, suave, well-spoken and funny man whines out his protest. It was as if I was I was asking for something small and menial, not for him to take responsibility. I had really messed up when I found myself in such a shameful and embarrassing situation and worse yet, I was pregnant with the man.

 

After over half a year in a whirlwind romance with the elder, I found myself four months pregnant with a child. Instead of focusing on my studies, I had gotten caught up in the lustful gaze of Professor Jung Jihoon. The handsome teacher of my history of the arts class, he was so smart, witty and charismatic. I had been so easily charmed by his good looks, his sense of humour and I set my eyes on getting involved with the man.

Enjoying my first year of freedom and feeling like a grown up, I had decided to pursue a scandalous relationship with my professor. It would be no strings attached, just for the fun. It would be an experience that I would look back at when I was grown up and think of at least a little fondly. A stupid memory that would make my heart flutter, something that had ended.

However, my intention to end things with the man didn’t go to plan, I had foolishly fallen for him. I had fallen in love with the elder, and was desperate for more from him. I knew that he was happily married and so on several occasions I had asked to end the relationship but the man had managed to charm me back into his bed.

Like an idiot I had mistaken the strong passion that we had for each other as more, and now as I was faced with him I was starting to realise that the feeling wasn’t really mutual for Jung Jihoon, he was just a horny married man who had been taken by me. He found me attractive and liked how eager I was when it came to sex.

Foolishly I had gotten myself in this situation, and even more idiotically so I had gotten myself pregnant and was asking the father of the child for some help. I was asking a married man to take responsibility for the baby in my stomach that we had made, and I was failing a little.

“You’re a student, and I’m your professor. This will end my career” the man hadn’t blinked when I had informed him about my pregnancy. Instead the elder had insisted that I get an abortion, my pregnancy would cause me trouble for the both of us, him as a teacher and me as a student.

It was scandalous, and I totally understood it. Yet I was here asking him to take responsibility. Part of me wished the man could end things with his wife and the pair of us could go abroad like we had talked about before. The reality of that ever happening was proving to be very unlikely, the older man was sulking as if he were a child who was getting his favourite toy taken away from him. It was hard for me to even take him seriously, he was an immature and detached person.

The man didn’t seem to even think what he was asking to do was gross and unforgivable. I wasn’t necessarily religious and I was pretty open minded when it came to a woman’s right to choose, but that’s not what I had chosen. I hadn’t even given him the choice of termination; he was pushing me towards for his own self-preservation; it made me sick.

“Do you really think that’s going to happen?” the man straightens up, his expression becoming more dark and serious. There he was, the man that I had actually come to know. Under the veil of a the oafish and silly teacher. I had seen it in flickers when we were in classes. If a student was acting up, or wasn’t showing the engagement that he wanted. The brief cold and angry look was something I had been familiar with and even still I had been attracted to the older man.

It’s not lot I was some love sick teen who was so foolish to think that I was getting involved with an innocent man. Jung Jihoon hadn’t hesitated accepting my advances, and I didn’t want to be with him raising this child. I just wanted him to know that there was a child of his that was being bought into this world, and I wanted him to do the right thing and take responsibility for it, but as his expression shows, there was no chance of him doing the right thing by me.

“Should I lose my job and my wife to look after some brat that’s not even in this world?” the man steps closer to me, his tone and posture meant to intimidate me, but I was too irritated and stubborn for it to work.

“Do you expect me to give up everything that I worked for, when there’s an option that saves us both stress us?” the man was approaching me, he was trying to back me in a corner and his tone was getting more and more threatening, he looked like he was about to snap.

“Get rid of that THING, or I will!” the man who had backed into a wall, then proceeds to punch it hard enough to leave a mark. I flinch of course out of reflex, my heart rate speeds up but I can’t back down.

“That’s not happening” with or without his help, this baby was coming. There was no way that I would be getting rid of this child who was innocent, and not because he or she’s father was a complete and utter coward.

“Don’t expect help from me then little girl, you obviously have no sense” with one last look of disdain, the man pulls away before heading to exit his work office. I could tell he was flustered and if he had any sense, he would feel worried about my next move because honestly I didn’t know it all that well myself. I was still trying to process things, I was taking things as they came and I figured I would have to be doing this for a long while.

“Your taste’s gone downhill…” a familiar voice calls out. When I turn to look to where it had come from, I find stood in the doorway was my dearest friend Kang Younghyun calls out. The man was really tall, handsome, his face was striking with high cheek bones. Every time I looked at him, I couldn’t help but note just how good looking he is.

The man had come with me, to accompany when trying to confront the father of my child. Supportive as always, the boy was the only one I could tell about how much I had screwed up. My parents were none the wiser, they believed that I was their well-behaved daughter, not a pregnant teen. I knew that the reality would break their hearts and I wasn’t ready to do that just yet, but I knew that I would have to eventually.

Kang Younghyun had been a childhood friend of mine, we had grown up in the same neighbourhood. Our parents were close and so we often we spent a lot of time together being the same age. As we had grown up together the man had once been a crush of mine, only briefly. It wasn’t until I realised that I was someone the man could love, not in the way that I wanted.

To him, I was simply a friend. It was something that I had come to terms with that reality, and because he was so important, I was happy to have in my life in whatever capacity. Usually the man worked as my confidant, so when I did find I was pregnant, he was the first person that I had told.

Patient and understand, the other didn’t bash my obviously foolish decision to embark on this relationship, nor did he berate me for not being protected. To him, what was done was done and I had to think of what to do next. With a person like him around, I was given the tools to think about what I wanted to do as far as the embryo growing my stomach.

“Will you marry me?” the man asks suddenly, surprising me. The ten-year-old me would be jumping up and down at the sudden proposal. But that was before I knew that Younghyun was gay. I did love him, but not enough to be in a one sided kind of love or marriage so of course I decline.

“Seo Sung Kyung… I need you” Younghyun delivers that line with a lot of seriousness. He was always someone who was straight forward and honest, and sometimes he was playful but at the end of the day I knew what he meant. Because he said what he meant and meant what he said, and surprisingly he meant it. He needed me.

-19yrs

“Hey chubby-ah, don’t you think you’re sleeping too much” Younghyun teases the new-born. Weighing at eight pounds and two ounces, the new born had been a long gestation and tough delivery. After all the worry and grief, she had finally arrived and whilst I rested my husband was doing well taking care of our newest arrival.

It’s hard not to get flutters as I watch Kang Younghyun take to fatherhood. He was absolutely enamoured by the new life that I just bought into the world, from the sparkle in his eyes. Watching her as if he had just discovered a treasure, the smile on his face which hadn’t left his face since she had been pronounced a happy and healthy baby by the doctor.

Five months of worrying was gone, the doubts that he wore across his face was no longer present. There had been times when I had just wanted to stop the whole façade, to cancel the wedding and be straightforward with my parents, all because I felt like I was trapping my best friend. But Younghyun was always insistent that the jitters would disappear once we were husband and wife, and although that didn’t happen straight away, the man had kept his promise.

Still enrolled in college, the man was attending college in Toronto and would be becoming a lawyer. I had moved with him to raise our dearest child, while he was studying hard, I would be looking after our daughter. It wasn’t exactly an ideal situation, especially not for Younghyun who needed all the focus he could to work, but he still hadn’t wavered not once.

Not even when once confronted by his ex and first love Park Jaehyung. It had been hard for Younghyun to reveal that he was getting married to me and that together we were raising our child. Although the other man had never expressed any desire to be with Younghyun in a serious sense, he still didn’t agree with the fact he was hiding behind me as his beard.

Worse yet, the elder believed that I had roped a close friend into a difficult situation for my own gains. It had led to some not so pleasant conversations, and each time Kang Younghyun had showed an unwavering loyalty to me. In the face of any adversity I was facing as a young single mother, Younghyun was there to protect me and my child.

Initially I had been a little apprehensive when he had asked to marry me, the request had felt so farfetched. How could a man who loved and felt attractions to men, be in a serious relationship with a woman? It didn’t sound like it could work and I wasn’t willing to be someone’s beard. I had run enough closet cases who would want me for the cover up, but eventually that would come to resent their partners.

That wasn’t what I wanted with Younghyun, he was such a close friend and I wanted to keep the core of our relationship intact. But Younghyun had been persistent, he had decided that it would be beneficial for the both of us to be married. I wouldn’t have to tell my parents that I had gotten pregnant by my teacher who wanted nothing to do with the child we had created.

My parents if they had found out, they would have forced me to get an abortion or to give the baby away. In fact even when I had lied and told them that Younghyun was the father, they had still tried to convince me to ‘save my future’. They believed that because I was still young, I needed to focus on my studies and get into work.

A child cut into that significantly, it made sure that I didn’t have the freedom that I had always hoped for. Terminating the pregnancy was really the best move for myself, but still I could do it. There was something in me that knew I would have more regrets getting rid of my child, I would prefer the hard work over the regrets of longing for someone that I knew should have been in my life. It was always in my mind that my child was someone who was meant to be in this world, there was never a doubt.

So after months of suffering hardships, disapproval from my parents and friends. I had gone through my pregnancy and given birth to my first child, Kang Sora. On the birth certificate I had put Younghyun’s name, he would be the man that our child would grow up knowing as a father. I made it official with Younghyun’s permission, we would be the only parents that our dear daughter would know.

Younghyun had promised that dedication to our child, he had promised that no matter what he would stick by our side. There was never a part of me that ever doubted him on that, I trusted him with my whole entire being. If Younghyun said something to you, or he promised it to you then he was going to keep that promise.

It hadn’t been an easy journey for Younghyun either, he had a lot of demons that he had to defeated before marrying me. Once he had announced that he had gotten me pregnant to his family, he had to fight them on his decision not to take over the company. He had expressed that he would be handing over the reins to his younger brother and instead he would pursue a career in the law. A move that had caused a lot of conflict within the Kang household, as well as the Seo household.

To both families, Younghyun and I looked like reckless teenagers who didn’t know what was going to hit them. We weren’t wise enough with the ways of the world and were underestimating what a big choir managing education, work and child rearing. We were unprepared and worse yet we had tainted our futures with the stigma of being teenage parents.

None of those thoughts even registered on Younghyun’s face as he holds his daughter, he was enamoured. It was adorable to watch, my heart rate had slowed down when trying to birth her, it should have calmed down now that she was here but here I was fluttering at the picture in front me of me.

My first love was in love of my new love and I couldn’t help but be conflicted with the feelings of happiness and jealousy. I was overwhelmed and tired and all I could do was watch on, I would try and enjoy the calm before the storm. I knew what would follow wouldn’t be any easy path for me, but I wouldn’t be regretting.

Younghyun looks down at the girl who bore the name of his own grandmother, a woman who had a warm and understanding heart. The woman had been an inspiration of mine growing up, she was unlike the timid women who clung to their husbands that I was surrounded by. She was kick ass and we could only hope that our bundle of joy could be someone similar.

-20yrs 

“It’s too freaking cold; I know it’s supposed to be winter. But this is Korea, not the north fucking pole” the bar maid is full of complaints. The petit woman with sharp but beautiful looking features, was currently deeply frowning making her look a little bit more striking. Despite being indoors behind the bar of a ritzy hotel bar, the woman still couldn’t help about the sudden blizzard that had fallen on Busan.

“Hello my name Kang Seulgi, what can I get you pretty doll woman?” The woman asks directing her question to me. Her way of speaking, so blunt and straight forward, fortunately I was used to people like her. I wasn’t uncomfortable, if anything it helps just wipe away the formality that was lingering in the air. We were in a bar, not in a court house.

“So where are you from?” the woman asks as she serves me my drink. Her face contorts in shock when she finds out that I was from Busan, born and raised. “I had you pegged for being a foreigner, I was thinking American?” I explain that I had grown up in Busan but had moved to Canada when I had gotten married. “Ahh that’s why… but don’t you have family in town?” the woman was confused why I was staying in the hotel, apparently she had seen me checking in not long ago.

“Family relations are… not great” I explain that even though I had returned to Korea briefly to visit family for the holidays, there was still tension. My family and I had drifted apart over the years, my parents continued to drown in disapproval over my life. They used the excuse of me living halfway across the world as an excuse to why we didn’t keep in contact, but in reality I knew they felt resentful towards me.

Still foolishly when returning to Busan for Christmas, I had allowed the elders to take in my seven-year-old daughter for a pre-holiday celebration. I’m sure they felt that getting close to Sora would mean they could make up for any mistakes they had made in the past with me. I wasn’t totally against it; I wouldn’t stop Sora from having a relationship with her grandparents just because I had a bad relationship with them.

Younghyun was busy in Seoul and wouldn’t be back until the day after Christmas, something he was in turmoil over. Missing his precious daughter’s seventh Christmas, but his work was very important for him at the moment. He was making some important steps in his work that would end up benefitting us as a family.

Sora and I would be spending Christmas in our hotel room and when Younghyun had the time, we would skype with him. The man had made a promise that this would be the first and last time that we would spend a Christmas like this and I trusted him in that.

Over all the years that we had been together as a family, despite juggling school and work, Younghyun was very present in the lives of his family. He supported me whenever things felt like they were becoming overwhelming and he was there in Sora’s life. He could discipline her when needed, but often he was able to just talk to her.

Our young daughter was smart, well-spoken and outgoing. She was definitely beyond her own age bracket and I credited Younghyun for that. He was always talking to her, always forcing her to challenge herself and not be afraid to a bright young woman. As far as a parenting was concerned, no one could do it better than Kang Younghyun.

With foresight, I was completely grateful that I had accepted the man’s proposal of marriage. It had saved me from latching onto a good for nothing man, who would have surely dragged me down with his loose ways. Despite the seven years that had passed, there had been no contact between the two of us and I was glad for it, especially has his philandering had been made public to the nation. The man had royally fucked up over the years.

Splashed across the headlines, my former lover Jung Jihoon had been in the news for his countless affairs with students to give them better grades. The man was truly deplorable, to use his power so shamelessly for his own pleasure? I didn’t want a man like that around me or my family.

Fate had saved me; I didn’t have to deal with him. I had cut him off completely, not that he ever showed interest. I had put Younghyun as the father of the child on the birth certificate and eight years into our child’s life, and he had proven himself to be a fantastic father of our child. The man was running around like a headless chicken trying to get his work done quickly so he could come and see his wife and child. So sweet.

Whilst my husband was working and my daughter was connecting with her grandparents, I was in the bar at the hotel getting myself a day time drink. I felt like I deserved it, it had been so long since I had treated myself, to have time for myself. My treat would come in the form of my favourite alcoholic beverage and maybe some chocolate if I was really greedy.

“Pssst!” Seulgi whispers leaning over the closer to me. “Don’t look up, but at your nine o’clock is an admirer of yours” the woman smirks as she returns to drying the glasses in front of her. The woman smirks, forcing my curiousity.

Unable to resist, I turn to my left and find at the other end of the bar watching me was the most divine creature I had ever laid my eyes on. I wasn’t one for tact so I watch him directly not hiding the fact that it was him I was watching, I get a view of his handsome and striking face.

High cheek bones that enhanced how handsome he was. His bunny like teeth soften up his look, and the bright aura that I feel from him. He reminded me of someone, without being that man. He was beautiful, I couldn’t stop watching him, it was like I was scared he would leave.

-27yrs

There was a chill in the air, but sometimes it felt like there was always a chill in the air in Toronto. If picking a city for good weather was at the top of their list for places to live, Younghyun and I would have definitely picked the wrong city when it came to Toronto. I might have decided somewhere nice warm and tropical and lazy, but unfortunately those places didn’t come with the education system I desired, no did it have Younghyun’s preferred work. Yet work wasn’t always top of the list, well not at the moment.

With our precious daughter abroad for a school trip, it left her father and I with some well needed time to play. Both of us had called off work in favour of being able to play around in whatever way we desired and we were doing it apart from each other which we rarely got to do.

Younghyun was in New York with his dear friend, Yoon Dowoon. Whenever they were together they seemed to get into a lot of trouble, but fun nonetheless. Younghyun would come back home, bright and bushy tailed with stories of mischievous and debaucherous activity. He would G rate it for the sake of our young and impressionable daughter, but when it was just the two of us he would always give me the juicy details.

While he was with Dowoon, I let them get along with it. There was no need for us to contact each other while we were away unless it was about Sora and her wellbeing. That wasn’t to say that I didn’t care, it was just because I wanted him to make the most of his time away from me and his family. To have the little bit of freedom he had given away in favour of being in our family, at the very least that was something he deserved.

It wasn’t like the man ever complained about it at all, he never really had any complaints that weren’t work related. Although I knew there were some lingering feelings of sadness, I knew there were feelings that he still had yet to figure out. There was a truth that he had been running from for many years and I hoped one way he would confront his demons.

For now, I was comfortable to support him when he needed it. Recently the man had an intense event occur, he had been in contact with his first Park Jaehyung recently. It might have started out as an innocent catch up between the two, but I believed some old feelings had bubbled back and the man was struggling to let go of his old romance.

Despite being married to him; I couldn’t bring myself to feel jealous about it. I would be selfish if I was to feel anything other than empathy for Younghyun, he had done more than enough for me so the least I could do was be there for him when he needed me. If he needed me to simply be someone whose should he could lean on, then I would be here.

For now, the elder claimed that he didn’t need me, so I was focused on myself and my own happiness. For so many years outside of my relationship with my daughter and my best friend, I hadn’t had that much happiness.

It had been a few years on and off for a few years. Starting as a casual sexual encounter, I had slowly become addicted to the man that I had come to know as Kim Bobby. The man who had hit on me during our chance meeting three years ago in Busan, what I had expected to be a one-night stand had become much more to me.

There were a few more chance meetings after, before the other man formally approached me for a relationship. It wasn’t something that would be serious, we would keep it light and whenever we were in the same town, we would spend the time together.

Kim Bobby was definitely my type, he understood my situation with being married to Younghyun and being a mother. Bobby was someone who was full of understanding and wisdom, he had never made me feel less than in my complicated situation, after all he had one like that as well.

In town on business, the man had some free time to meet me. We meet in his large and lavish hotel suite, the man had been born into wealth and this was absolutely nothing to him. However, a man like him, wasn’t concerned about money or riches that he could easily get. He was a down to earth person, he enjoyed the simple things in life.

Slowly but surely I had fallen for the man, I loved being in his presence. I found myself being relaxed, having fun and being someone other than a mother and wife. I was Seo Sung Kyung, a woman who could be funny, intelligent and even sexy, when I was around Bobby, he bought the best out of me. I was happy with who I was around him.

“Did you miss me?” the man greets me in nothing but a white fluffy hotel room. He was absolutely handsome, my heart flutters at the sight of him. Even after spending time with him, I was still feeling this way for him. In fact, over the years my feelings have gotten much deeper.

Simply nodding my head, I wrap my arms around my lover pulling him closer. It had been months since I had seen him face to face, we talked every day on the phone but there was nothing better than seeing him with my own eyes and feeling him skin on skin, whilst smelling him. The man smelt fresh, he smelt like the musky cologne of his that I loved. I loved it on him, because I loved him. Truly and deeply.

-30 yrs old

My dear friend Kang Younghyun was having a hard time. Recently things had become so hectic. We had decided to separate as a couple, after over a decade of marriage the two of us were ending it. I

There were no hard feelings behind it, but the move to end our marriage was simply just a decision that we both felt that we needed to make. On my end of things, I was doing it to move onto the next chapter of my life. I was grateful to Younghyun to for protecting me and Sora all this time, but it was time we got to be free and live our lives the way we deserved.

Since Bobby’s marriage had ended we were becoming more serious, we were seeing more of each other and becoming closer. I truly felt like I was his woman and that his was my man. The man had done his best to reassure me that he wasn’t someone who was going to disappear from my life. Now that he had divorced his wife, I was making similar moves to match up with him. I was becoming desperate for him to be mine alone.

While I was heading towards my goal of being in a serious relationship with Kim Bobby, Kang Younghyun was struggling. It wasn’t that he was upset because of me leaving him, no he always knew that this day was coming. Plus, Younghyun knew about my relationship with Bobby and he was always cheering the row of us on, as long as I was happy he would be satisfied.

The man had moved out of the family home and was living in an apartment nearby. We were officially separated and heading to get a divorce. Sora was understandably having a hard time accepting this, so we were giving her time to understand the situation. Although her father and I loved each other, we didn’t love each other in the way that she truly desired.

I knew that with some time the younger would come to accept it, and we could move on. For now, Younghyun and I were doing our best to be as empathetic and sensitive towards her feelings. We were still spending a lot of time together, and keeping the same routine in Sora’s life and that meant around Christmas time we would go back to Busan and visit family.

Over the years, the Kang family had seemed to let up on Younghyun. He had become a successful lawyer who looked after his family well, he wasn’t the let-down they had expected him to be. With their sudden understanding of their son, they began to accept Sora and I into their lives by inviting our small tight nit family to their yearly Christmas celebrations.

Sora always enjoyed this time of year, she got to return to Korea and connect with family and friends she had made here. Younghyun also enjoyed his time back in his home town as well, so I hoped our trip back would mean the man who had been very glum and low of recently would cheer up a little bit. I was desperate to get my best back and in a happy mood.

However, he doesn’t get the chance to relax and feel the holiday spirit for very long, because very soon into the trip there is a tension between his younger brother and himself. It was an unresolved tension which he was usually to dull out and ignore in favour of not souring the Christmas spirit and cheer. But this year, after some drinks in his system, Kang Hyunwoo wasn’t willing to let go of old issues he had with his brother.

For many years now the head of the Kang household was his father Kang Minjun, the elder had been widowed by his wife a few years ago. That had been one of the events that had led to Mr Kang reaching out to his long lost son. It had appeared that father and son had patched up any of their old disagreements and had come to a healthy understanding.

Yet his little brother Hyunwoo who was now director of one of the media empires that his family owned still held resentment towards his brother. Despite having a career he did enjoy and a wife and children he adored, Hyunwoo still had a bone to pick with his brother, and he wasn’t going to let it go this year. With his children out and about with Sora giving her a tour of the town, he saw it fit as his chance to pounce on his older brother.

His wife Park Jimin was a very sweet and charming woman, she wasn’t someone who could be walked over. She had attempted several times to cool down her husband’s temper, but it seemed that he was too far gone and determined to take down Younghyun.

“How long are you going to keep coming back home and looking us in the eye telling this lie”. Stood directly in front of Younghyun’s path, the elder wasn’t budging, he was making sure he was heard. He looked pissed off and pent up and was about to unleash it all on Younghyun.

“I understood it before because you were young and you didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but don’t you get tired?” Hyunwoo continues to confront his elder sibling. It was the first time I had really ever seen him step up to his brother like this, they had grown up fairly affectionate to each other.

Kang Hyunwoo loved his brother wholeheartedly and Younghyun returned that sentiment. Although they had grown up pitted against each other for who would take over the media giant Spark’s throne. They still loved and respected each other. Even now to this day, although they weren’t as close, Younghyun still adored his younger brother.

“You’ve been lying all your life, from your family, to your wife and now your child?” I knew exactly what he was confronting Younghyun about. I knew that Hyunwoo knew that Younghyun wasn’t straight. Still he loved his brother and had never pressured him to come out, not until now.

“To get out this house, I know you had to lie. And I never held it against you” the man seemed to have calmed down a little but he was still determined to confront his older sibling, he wanted to hear the truth.

“He’s not lying to me, I know” I speak up, after all this time being confronted, Younghyun had yet to speak up. “You know? So you’ve known and played along?” the man disapproves. Jimin is on hand to lambast her husband for being rude, but Hyunwoo doesn’t take mind of it.

“Your relationship is more complicated than I anticipate” the man says with a smirk. “A homosexual husband and his accepting wife? Does that even mean that Sora is even yours?” the man spits out, this time Jimin loses her cool and slaps her husband into shock.

Meanwhile Younghyun who hasn’t spoken up until this point, stands still frozen in his spot. He was struggling with everything; he had been struggling for a while now. Since I had discussed our separating, of course he had to have had thoughts of his sexuality pass through his head, and now to be confronted by his younger sibling about it too? He was probably feeling overwhelmed by it all, and I just wanted to save him.

“I am Sora’s father, whether or not they share any blood” Younghyun finally speaks up, he looks at his brother and there is a brief silent moment of tension. “Whatever or whomever I’m attracted to doesn’t change that fact that I am her father and I love her” Younghyun is stern in talking to his brother who suddenly backs down.

“What do you mean?” suddenly hearing the voice that was so familiar to all of us, we turn to find in the entrance of the kitchen was a shocked looking Kang Sora and her cousins stood behind her awkwardly. They had surely overheard us. Sora looked crushed, she was hurt and I knew how she could be like when she felt that she had been lied to. She was going to back into her shell, she was going to pull away from us if we didn’t do anything.

“Kang Sora… let’s talk” Younghyun clears his throat and straightens up, he straightens up and takes Sora’s hand. Stubborn and hurt, the young girl flinches away from her father’s touch, but Younghyun is insistent. He loved Sora so much that he wouldn’t risk losing her in any way.

There is a brief silence following the exit of the pair, the children were quiet and awkward. Meanwhile Park Jimin smacks her husband on the back of her head and begins to lecture him on having some tact. I live vicariously through her, letting my frustrations out through him. Younghyun and I knew that one day we would have to talk to Sora about it all, to tell her truth but we were hoping for her to be little older. This felt too premature.

-32 years old.

“You did well Seo Sung Kyung!” Younghyun says as he fondly ruffles through my hair. I nudge him away a little, but the man smiles continuing to ruffle through my hair playfully before returning to help me out. The man had been kind enough to give up his weekend to help me move in my brand new condo apartment located in Mokpo town.

The man picks up my boxes and carry them over to their assigned rooms. The move goes by a lot quicker with his help, it was a lot of fun as well. Despite all the ups and downs and the fact that we a divorced couple, we had still remained incredibly close.

After being recruited for a job in Mokpo, I had announced my move there to the other. I was recruited a fashion director for an upcoming fashion company owned by Lee Hayi a bright young business woman. I was yet to meet the boss.

From what I had heard, she was a very tough and fair boss. Her vision from what she started as a pet project to now wasn’t something to be smirked at, she had worked hard to build up her reputation. I was nervous about my first day at work, but I was confident that I could put my stamp on the work and help take the company to a higher place.

After helping me out with my move, Younghyun heads off to his own home nearby. He had followed me out to Mokpo, getting a job at a nearby law firm. He was already settled and moved in finding a house which was already fully furnished and one that he found comfortable enough for himself and Sora to live in. Most of all the younger approved of it and so did i.

For tonight, Sora was with her father. They had gotten much closer of the last couple of years, ever since he had come out to our daughter, it had given them a lot of clarity. There was more trust between the two and less judgement, and we went from being a family that loved each other and got on. We were upgraded, we understood each other more, we had more patience for each other and we rarely argued or disagreed.

Younghyun was the more relaxed of us as parents, I was always hyper sensitive, never wanting my daughter to make my mistakes. When I was suffocating her, she would run to her father. I was relieved that he was around, that if I was pushing my daughter away then at least she was in the arms of someone I loved and trusted.

There had been times when people had tried to get in between my daughter and I. When her aunt- my sister, cruelly revealed that her niece was a product of an extramarital affair. Sora had already knew this, after the revelation at the Christmas time at the Kang Household, there was a one hundred per cent honesty pact between us.

Still there had been the intention to try cause trouble between my daughter and I from my cruel sister. My sister had a crush on Younghyun and always resented me, she felt that I had somehow unfairly landed back on my feet.

How had I gone from messing up my life and being pregnant, to being saved by her favourite oppa. The younger was still trapped in the past, she was envious of the family that I had with my best friend. The husband that she viewed as a saint, she was cruel young thing.

Through my daughter she tried to get my daughter to hate me, but showing the early signs of her maturity that was beyond her own years. Sora understood the fact that her father and I loved her, even if Younghyun wasn’t her biological father, he was still her dad. Moments like that have made us close, with the truth we have strengthened our bond.

Tired and sweaty from moving around the boxes, I get a call from my lovely boyfriend Kim Bobby. The man checks on me, I was tired and sweaty, but I was happy to talk to him. We briefly catch up, it had been a few days since I had arrived in Mokpo and he wanted to make sure that I was doing well. He suggests some places I should visit as I tour the city.

So trusting my man’s word, the next morning, I head out to explore the town. The first place I head to is the café that Bobby had suggested that I visit, he claimed that the food was good and that the owners of the shop were still quite cool to be around.

At the café the first person I meet is a woman who introduces herself as Ahn Hyojin. She was cool, her style was very cool and hip, although she looks chic on the outside, she has a very warm and welcoming personality. She recognises that I was new. Hyojin is very welcoming to me.

“If you need a friend around here, just come here and I’ll talk” grateful I thank her and take her up on that offer. When I had been in Canada, I had such a small friendship group, but now I would make sure to be more of a social butterfly. I wanted to fit in and show Bobby that I belonged.

“You’re welcome here anytime; I’ll be an ear for you. I love to gossip” Hyojin jokes as she serves me my bagel and tea. “Yes, this is true” a good looking and young looking man approaches her, he wraps around the woman’s waist giving her a kiss on the cheek. Hyojin introduces that man as Im Changkyun, her husband and the friend that Bobby had told me of.

The couple looked comfortable and sweet together. We get to talking and it is revealed that they had been married over a decade and a half and had a child of their own. They had lived in Mokpo for so long and knew the city like the back of their hands and offer help if I needed it.

Getting caught up in the fun conversation, I stay with Hyojin to talk. We get along so well, the talking goes into the afternoon and around that time the café becomes busier. So I sit to the side, and with my tablet I had bought along with me, I make a few notes on what to get down for my move.

While I am there, a tall beautiful and curvaceous woman makes her way into the shop. Immediately the relaxed demeanour that Hyojin had shown all day disappears. The woman smiles brightly and greets Changkyun and Hyojin in a very informal and familiar way.

Just watching from the side, I could tell that Hyojin was wary of the woman. Changkyun seemed oblivious, I wondered what their story was. Sitting off in my little corner with my coffee, I try to listen on their conversation.

The woman whose name is revealed to be Park Joy has confessed that she was here from Seoul to visit Lee Hayi a friend of hers. Changkyun jokes about he was surprised that they had gotten close leaving me to believe that there was some previous conflict.

“Well you know time passed, and she’s not such a conniving witch” the woman jokes. I wonder if the Lee Hayi they were talking about, was the same Lee Hayi I was recruited by? I continue to listen in.

“Hanbin is busy with work and she wanted company” Changkyun’s suddenly frowns at this. “Do you think he’s busy?” the woman asks knowingly. “What do you mean?” Changkyun half-heartedly asks. “Oh come on, the man may be a father now, but he’s still a man who looks like he’s trapped” Hyojin seems to snap airing her disapproval.

“He might care about the mother of his child, but it will never be the way he feels about…“. Changkyun interrupts Hyojin. Changkyun tries to warn his wife on her behaviour. I’m sure he was more are of the fact that I stranger was listening in.

“You think he’s still hung up on Youngjae?” Joy seems to ignore the warning and turns to Hyojin for her opinion. Hyojin shrugs non committed, but the look on her face looks different to me.

“The way he looks at Youngjae, it’s very familiar” Joy slyly suggests much to Changkyun’s displeasure. “Fifteen years later and you think he’s still hung up on him?” Changkyun questions his wife, looking ready to dismiss his wife.

“Well it is Choi Youngjae isn’t it?” Hyojin answers that simple statement seems to resonate with the three of them. There must be something quite special about him, but he wasn’t any of my business. I would try my best to judge people from my own impression, Bobby had told me the town was well known for having a very active gossip factory.

After finishing up my food and planning, I head out to the local gym, searched google and this was the closest to my work and home. It was perfectly located and it seemed female friendly.

Bobby had suggested it because he knew the female owner, Heo Solji. As I sign in with her as my training, I find her bright cheerful, more gossip about the town. The slender, toned and petite woman puts me through a pretty challenging work out which leaves me panting and sweaty.

As I try to recover with a swig of my drink, a man enters, he was extremely handsome and beefy looking man holding a cute little baby. Solji squeals at the sight of the man and child in his strong arms, she kisses the man, she introduces him as a husband Choi Jinwoon and their young toddler daughter Choi Hana who was a bundle of cuteness.

The man like his wife is incredibly friendly, he is a lawyer. I inform him that my ex-husband is a new lawyer in town. I inform him, he was working for Seo and Do law firm.

“Oh really? He must be good!” Choi Jinwoon reassures me that the pair were fair bosses. “Although I haven’t seen Do Kyungsoo around in a while, I hear he’s in Europe doing his travelling”, but he reassures me that Seo Hyerin is definitely a great boss.

“That’s right!” Solji announces, with a smile. The pair look loved up, holding the child in their arms.

“Did you get the Halloween party invitation?” Solji suddenly brings up. “We need to go or else I will suffer because of that brother of mine” Jinwoon jokes. He reveals that his younger sibling and his girlfriend were throwing a party and he extended the invitation onto me.

“That little brother of mine is so scary!”. Solji laughs amused by it all, he pinches her man’s cheeks, their small child joining. The woman teases her husband for being under the thumb of her younger siblings. As I watch the family unit, I can’t help but feel a pang of envy. I had that unit in the past and it had been my decision to separate it.

Although Younghyun and I were close, we didn’t have what this couple had for each other. They had eyes for each other; they were both parents who loved each other in a romantic way. I still wanted that, I still wanted kids, I had to admit. I wanted Kim Bobby’s child, to live in a family with him.

For Sora to have a younger sibling that she would look over and adore. I had moved all the way from Canada to Mokpo of all places, because I had those plans. I hoped that putting myself to him would make our relationship progress, we were finally divorced and we could focus on being together.

That night missing Sora who had been staying with Younghyun, so I call Younghyun and invite myself over for dinner. Once I’m washed and dressed from my afternoon workout, I head over to Younghyun’s three-bedroom home which was located in a gated area of a Mokpo suburb.

It wasn’t a flashy property, it was just comfortable and warm with a family feel. Even when we were living in Canada, Younghyun had been the person who had managed to bring across the family feeling. Being around him felt so comfortable, like it was home.

We three sit down for dinner together, the man had prepared a delicious spaghetti and bolognese meal. We flow comfortably into conversation and discuss Sora and the school she was attending. The younger admits that she as missing old friends, that she missed Canada. However, Younghyun is the sweet and caring man who is able to comfort her through her worries.

Sometimes watching Younghyun parent was a blessing for me. I didn’t have to do much myself, he was always able to calm down and alleviate her worries. He was the parent that she was more comfortable with, he could get her to do what he wanted all with a warm grin on his face.

Her trust is very obvious late that night, he is able to carry her up to her bedroom. Even at the age of fifteen, she trusted him with his life. A grin makes its way across my face as I watch Younghyun tuck Sora into her bed carefully, he treated as if she were a treasure to be carefully handled, she was a very luck young lady.

“You can stay” Younghyun says as I’m about to excuse myself. “Can i?” I ask the man, I didn’t know why, I always knew that I would be welcome. “Yeah, I’ll sleep on the couch” the man explains that the spare room was still fresh with paint so he would let me use his bedroom. “No. It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before” it was true; we had done it for over decade. With a shrug of the shoulder, the man and I head down the hall to his room.

“What’s been bugging you?” I ask the man as we lay in his comfortable king sized bed. There was a comfortable silence between us, so I thought I’d bring up something that had been niggling at me. “What do you mean?” Younghyun’s attempt to sound casual is a failure, I could tell something was up with him. So I push on and ask what was really wrong.

Younghyun admits that he was having the same dream that had plagued him over the years. It was happening more and more, and I could tell he was becoming more anxious because of it. The dream was supposed to be prophetic, but he was never sure how it would up, leaving him concerned.

So as I did over the years, I try to reassure him that it wasn’t as serious as he thought. I hug him close and reassure him that if something did happen, that I would be there for him and for a little while he relaxes, I can sense that he believes that and he is comforted by those words.

The next morning, I wake up to an empty bed. Younghyun was already gone, I find that he had texted me informing me that he had left for work. So when I head down the hall, I find Sora eating breakfast that her father had prepared, the young one greets me a smug grin on her face.

As I sit down to breakfast I check up on my man, Bobby had gone to Seoul so suddenly on business but he checks on me. I smile happy to be getting the information straight from him and not his secretary like it used to be. He is in an early morning meeting but we text between the two of us.

“If I didn’t know about dad, I’d think you two were getting back together” she says with a giggle. “Dream on!” I retort ruffling through her hair, I knew the best course of action was to be completely honest and leave her no room to misunderstand the situation. The younger doesn’t take it so bad, she doesn’t wince as she used to, she had become adjusted to the reality that Younghyun and I were over.

Later after a wash and shower, I head off home and get washed and changed before heading to work. I am greeted by my new employee Lee Hayi, with flowing curly blonde locks that flowed down her back. She was petit, her features so wide eyed and pretty, but her expressions were a little cool and chic. She looked pretty intimidating on the surface.

The woman is polite enough and welcoming when greeting me. Unlike our chats over the phone, our face to face meetings had been done by skype thus far. I was relieved that in person she didn’t seem to have too much of an overbearing personality.

During the tour of the small building space that her offices were set up in, we get to talking about some of private life. I tell her about moving here with my daughter and my ex-husband, she’s impressed to hear that Younghyun and I are on good terms.

While we are in her office we talk about her family, she was happily married to Kim Hanbin who was also a lawyer like Younghyun. He worked in the prosecutor’s office, I get the feeling this same Kim Hanbin she’s married to, is the one that Park Joy, Im Changkyun and Ahn Hyojin had been talking about. So already I knew that Hayi had a little bit of a complicated family situation going on, but it didn’t look that way on the surface.

Her office is littered with pictures of her two daughters and just one picture of her and her husband. They made a very good looking family, and although she looked cold on the outside when discussing her children, she melts within seconds. Hayi’s eyes sparkle as she boasts about her pride and joy, her daughters whom she adored.

Once the tour is done, Hayi directs me to my office. The woman doesn’t put too much pressure on me, telling me to get settled. She instructs me to look through my emails and reply to what I could, she would send over some campaign plans but for now she asks me to take the day at my own comfortable pace.

However, I was eager to put my stamp on the place, so as I wait for my first assignment. I look through the emails and note anything that would be of importance, whilst becoming familiar with my new assistant Kwon Soonyoung a bright sparkly little man child who was ready and willing to help me with all my needs. So we get quickly acquainted, the man very professional from what I could see. He takes down my notes on what I needed to get done and puts together a schedule for the week.

Hayi comes in to interrupt around lunch time, the younger invites me to a lunch which I reluctantly accept. I was busy with my work, but I didn’t want to reject the boss on my first day so I go with her to a local deli bar near the office. It was just the two of us and it seems that as the boss, Hayi finds it more comfortable talking to a higher ranked employee too.

Over the lunch we talk about her marriage, she had been married nearly fifteen years since they left school. The woman admits that it wasn’t the easiest marriage, even from the beginning when they were an arranged marriage. They had grown up together and their parents had decided for them to end up getting married.

Hayi’s situation mirrored mine and Younghyun’s a little, the fact that we came from similar backgrounds. Our families would have probably set us up as well, but my early pregnancy had beat them to the punch. I suspect we would have gone through some difficulties that Hayi and her husband seemed to have gone through.

“I wanted it more than he did” the smaller confesses. She had been obsessed with being her husband and winning him. She had been through a lot and now as adults, it seemed that they had settled down. “Over time he has warmed to me” the woman says with what seems like a forced smile. “He must have if he had two kids with me right? “The woman seems to trying to convince herself. I can’t help but pity her a little.

“You’ve got a lot of work to do, but for today you should head home. Comeback tomorrow” the boss lady instructs me; despite my declines she doesn’t accept this as she exerts her power a little. Reluctantly I thank her for the lunch and her kindness for the day before heading out.

As I head out, I can’t help but compare her situation to mine. She was someone I already pitied and envied, kids with the man she loved, but having uncertainties about the man she was with.

Craving the yummy coffee, I had the day before, I head over to Happy Café. I was itching to have a little gossip session with Hyojin but when I get there, she wasn’t there. Instead it looks like Changkyun is managing the store, and with him was the beautiful lady from yesterday, it was Park Joy was there. I sit in a booth at the back and wait for a server.

“You know I didn’t come back for Lee Hayi” Joy tells an uncomfortable looking Im Changkyun. I could see the way she watched him, her eyes eating him up. I had sensed some feelings on her end yesterday and with Hyojin nowhere to be seen, she was being bolder about it.

“Joy you shouldn’t be doing this” Changkyun speaks hushed, totally aware of the people around. I sit around the corner unseen listening in. “But here I am, doing it” Joy shamelessly retorts. “It’s been fifteen years Joy” the man counters sounding exasperated. Did they used to be together? “And each year becomes more bitter, knowing that I lost you just because that bitch trapped you” Joy starts to sound frustrated.

“Don’t speak about her that way” Changkyun warns. “Don’t you regret it?” Joy persists, she was shameless in her behaviour. “I’ve told you before, the only thing I regret is breaking your heart. But I could never regret my wife and children” Changkyun replies leaving Joy with no counter or reply. It was such a juxtaposition from Lee Hayi and her husband who seemed to be having some doubts.

“I should have never fallen in love with you” having been rejected, the woman sounds a little pathetic, fifteen years had passed, she should be over this. “I should have married Kim Bobby” my heart skips a beat hearing the voice of my current boyfriend, had they dated?.

“I know he would have married me and treated me well” the woman continues, she sounded so pathetic. “I’m sorry” Changkyun seems sincere in his words, but it doesn’t seem to enough for Joy. “I had to be an idiot to fall for you, and to keep holding out hope. I’m truly a fool” Joy’s voice shakes, she sounded so vulnerable.

Changkyun looks apologetic but there was nothing he could do, what did this chick expect him to do? To leave his wife and kids for something that they had when they were teenagers? She was seeming like a bit of bunny boiler to me, but maybe because she had bought up my boyfriend and I was being petty and jealous.

Without another word, Joy heads out leaving Changkyun a little bothered briefly before he straightens up. The man spots me and walks over to my table with a note pad in hand, he greets me and I begin to think he was going to skip over what I had witnessed, but he’s straightforward.

“She’s always like this when a relationship of hers breaks down, she returns like this” the man explains. “Isn’t’ she a little too old to be holding onto resentments like this?” my petty side comes out. “I did make a mistake and hurt her feelings” the man continues to excuse the immature woman. “She shouldn’t hold onto it like this” I am still judgemental of this virtual stranger.

“Ah ignore me. No you’re right, but you know I don’t feel any less guilty” in our brief interaction I get the impression that the man was a very genuine man. I smile watching him knowing he’s a good man.

“I heard your daughter Is going to Yeung Hyun high” the man changes the topic of conversation. “That’s good, my daughter goes to that school. I’ll tell her to look out for her” the man offers confidently. “Oh thank you” I thank the man, just Bobby had said, the man before me seemed like a good man. So we chat for a while, before I ask for my drink to be taken out, and I excuse myself and I head off home to get some work done. 

Weeks pass and finally I find myself in in a comfortable routine. Work, hanging out with the few friends I had, home with my precious daughter and audio and video calls to my perfect boyfriend. I was finally settling in to my life in Mokpo and hoped very soon, I would start thriving in my space.

Sora had also discovered her own routine, she was going to school, hanging out with the few friends she had made. Fortunately, she was settling in and it seemed that she liked Mokpo more than she had anticipated. From what I knew Younghyun was also doing pretty well, he was mostly busy with his work schedule but he seemed a little distant too. I was concerned.

Once I had gotten myself some coffee to drink, I head over to work. Hayi and I were getting along well, she seemed impressed with the hard work that I was putting in. Through our work we were trying to get a well-known local celebrity to work with us, but getting through to her was proving to be a chore in itself.

Since the first day, Hayi and I had made a habit of ours to have lunch together. I was a little bit more comfortable around Hayi, but I was still aware of the boss employee dynamic and was careful with my word.

Today for our lunch, we head to the Happy Café. We find that Hanbin is there, with him is another man. Hayi joins her husband, it looked like she was surprised that he was there, but still her husband doesn’t seem phased like he had been caught in something wrong.

Kim Hanbin is polite, he greets me having heard about me through his wife, he thanks me for my hard work. Meanwhile across from him was a friend who I come to know as Choi Youngjae. My ears perk up at that name, this was the Choi Youngjae who Hyojin, Changkyun and Joy had talked of.

Youngjae is a good looking man, he looked in his early to mid-twenties. He was very youthful looking, with a bright and happy welcoming aura. When talking to him, I recognise that he seemed to have a self-awareness that not many people I had run across in Mokpo had. He was able to joke and make himself the butt of every joke, without becoming self-conscious about it.

 

When looking, Hayi’s husband he seemed more in sync with the man than with her. Hayi didn’t seem to mind though, she just seemed to be happy sat by his side holding his hand. She laughs along to the witty banter between her husband and his friend, but I can’t help but sense something is off.

“Oh Youngjae, could you do me a favour?” Hayi asks about Jung Soo Jung who we had been trying get to work with. I find out that Youngjae is the brother of Jung Soojung’s boyfriend. “You’ve always seemed so close with her” Hayi reaches over for his hand and pleads for him to put in a good word for us, something he agrees to do. 

Our lunch break is over and soon, Hayi and I head over back to work. I put my head down and figure out another plan in case Youngjae’s word doesn’t work for us. Mokpo was a small town and so there weren’t many big celebrities based within town, and even fewer ones that fit the profile of what we wanted for our model, so I had some hard work to do.

At the end of my shift, as I head I get a call from Bobby. The man who was still in Seoul on business reveals that he was returning to Mokpo soon. I smile getting flutters as the man lists through all the things we would do when we were reunited. He seemed in a happier mood overall and that left me excited about the near future.

“Think hard what kind of date you want and I will oblige” the man promises, leaving me happy light headed and giddy for the future. I do my best to stretch out the conversation that we were having, just to hear his voice, I didn’t realise just how much I missed him until the promise of his return was soon put in front of me.

Feeling uplifted by my chat with Bobby, I decided to use my excited energies for a walk. So I head to Younghyun’s house, Sora was at her new friend Im Jieun’s’ place, and so both her parents would be free for the evening. Using my powers of persuasion, I manage to convince the man to come out for a late night jog. Younghyun wasn’t one for exercise, but he seemed to need someone to speak to so I let him.

As we go out for our jog, I let him air out his feelings and frustrations. He reveals that there had been more to his whole Busan trip than he had told me before. While he was there, he had met someone, someone he believed was special, and he was having a hard time.

“He’s the guy from Berlin” the man suddenly confesses. “Not that he was in Berlin, but that feeling that I had…” I knew what he meant. Younghyun had spoken to me about a trop he had taken to Busan, meeting a fortune teller. On that encounter he swears that through touching the teller’s hand, he was able to feel something overwhelming. He describes it as a pure and warm kind of love. He had been promised the return of this feeling in the future, and I think he had always hoped for it, but when it didn’t come as fast as he wanted, it left him a bit conflicted.

As Younghyun talks about this person, he seems a little shaken. “He could be the one” he his body shakes. “I haven’t ever felt like this for anyone” the man confesses, when I look at him, I knew he was serious. I feel a tiny jealous pang. I had only ever received a slice of Younghyun’s love, he saw me as a sister and a best friend.

Honestly if he had given me all his love and seen me as a woman, I would have probably been in love with him. But he had never looked at me in the way I desired, and he never did he speak about me in the way he was talking about this guy. He seemed pained, but he loved me.

Younghyun explains the rejection he went through. I hug the man and do my best to comfort him, but I can tell it’s not enough. He seemed heartbroken I hadn’t seen him this down, since he had ended things with Jaehyung. I knew that this was very serious, in fact he looked less hurt now. When I ask who it is about, I am shocked to discover it was Choi Youngjae.

Explaining the complicated situation that Youngjae was involved in with Kim Hanbin, one that I had also suspect too. Younghyun also expresses his frustrations with Youngjae and how he was contradicting himself. But he was struggling to let go of the man he had fallen for, he didn’t seem like he was going to give up. So I pull him into my arms and comfort the man, this was all I could do for him.

That night when Bobby does call me again, we discuss our plans for our date. I had time to think about it and had decided a simple dinner date would do, I just wanted to sit across from him and look at his face. The man agrees and so we plan out the day that we would meet.

Whilst I’m on the phone, I bring up the topic of Younghyun and how he was struggling with is feelings for Youngjae. “Whoa, the world is a small place” he comments when he finds out that Younghyun and Youngjae had been involved with one another. I can’t help but agree, and bring up the situation between Youngjae and Hanbin, I wanted to know the status of their relationship at the moment.

Bobby chooses not to answer that, explaining that it wasn’t something for him to discuss, leaving me suspicious and concerned for Younghyun. Bobby avoids the topic of Youngjae’s relationship with his best friend, instead we drift into comfortable conversation about my work.

The next day work is very hectic. It begins with meeting with Jung SooJung, the woman on the outside seems frosty and difficult and she takes a little time to warm to me. However, after she does see designs and approves, she has a good enough fashion sense to give us some valuable feedback which we take on board.

During our meeting the subject of her semi brother in law Youngjae is bought up. She explains that even though she’s not married to his brother yet, she does see him as a brother. They had become close over the years and she sings his praises. “He’s been through a lot; he is stronger than anyone I know!” As she speaks about him, it’s easy to see to how Younghyun had fallen for him, everyone around had nothing but praises for Youngjae.

Later when I get back to work, I find Hayi who seems a bit tired and irritable. She bites and snaps at the employees, and so for a little while we do our best to avoid her unless she needs her and all correspondence end up going through me. We try to get our work done without any conflict going down because of crossing the boss.

I’m not sure how much time passes, but it’s sunset when suddenly Lee Hayi comes into my office. She looks to have calmed down, she looked meeker. The woman apologises for her foul mood but thank you for your hard work. Sensing she needed to talk to someone I half-heartedly offer which she jumps at and soon is opening up about her marriage. Hayi admits that Hanbin seemed off recently.

“He goes through these cycles where he becomes the 19-year-old who was obsessed with Youngjae” my heart leaps a bit uncomfortable with Youngjae’s involvement in all of this. “He’s detached and only thinking about himself” the woman vents out her frustrations. “Do I have to get sick or have another kid for him to snap out of it?” she doesn’t elaborate what she meant by that and I worry it’s too much of a sensitive topic to poke into.

“Talk to him. You can’t keep circling around it” I advise the younger, she winces a bit. She seems reluctant I could tell she didn’t want disrupt her home but she was only going to suffer if she kept this up. So for a little while I sit with her and listen to her vent everything out, she tells me the story of how she had watched her first love fall for Choi Youngjae.

She details how she had gone from being resentful towards Choi Youngjae, to her growing up and forgiving the man. Hayi struggled between her fears of the past, and trying to trust the men of the current time. I honestly pitied her, Younghyun had always been so transparent that I never thought of us ever having a romantic kind of relationship and so I was never left in this kind internal conflict.

When I finally get home, I find a surprise waiting for me in the form of my handsome boyfriend who was supposed to be in Seoul. When we had talked over the phone that was what he had lead me to believe, but he was in front of my face, he had let himself inside with the spare key I had told him about. Excited to see him, I leap into his muscular arms.

“Guess you’re happy?” the man teases. Excited I deliver a bunch of kisses to Bobby’s face, getting ahead of myself I start to strip myself ready to make love to my loved one. However, Bobby interrupts me, he explains that he had come home early from Seoul because he missed me and that he would be taking me out for dinner, he’s insistent on taking me out.

So reluctantly I rush up to my bedroom with my beau following, he waits in the bedroom area as I get washed up and cleaned. I don’t put too much effort in my makeup and clothes, I was too excited to spend time with my man in the flesh, and I didn’t want to take up that time with makeup and clothes although I knew the man was patient, didn’t mean that I was.

On our way out, we bump into Sora and her friend Im Jieun. The young girl looked a lot like her mother Hyojin, but she seemed more quiet and withdrawn. Whilst introducing Bobby and Sora is a little awkward, she behaves enough and allows us to head out on our date without conflict.

“She doesn’t like me, she’s suspicious” Bobby expresses as we sit over dinner. “Yes, so don’t do anything”, I respond. “Only like me” I tease the man making him laugh, his dumb chuckle I loved so much like music to my ears. “I only like Seo Sung Kyung” the man confesses, making me flutter.

“Don’t think about your past women” a grin makes its way across his face as I say this, he rather enjoyed seeing me jealous. “No Park Junghwa no Park Joy” I warn the man, who playfully tolls his eyes.

“This chatty town”, the man mutters. Which leads me to asking him about his past. Although I had heard it times before, I wanted to hear it again without any minimising, and he man reveals he had a rocky past before meeting me.

Park Joy was his first crush ever. He liked girls before, but not as hard as he did Joy. There was a girl that he had a thing for and struggled to get over, Bobby doesn’t reveal her name but he admits that she was the one that got away for him in some sense.

Bobby moves on to talking about Park Junghwa who he dated for a few years as he bounced back from him heartbreak. Did he keep in contact with her? “Yes, she’s living a very happy life in New York with a precious child” the man confesses. I keep up my questioning. Will she ever comeback?

“Who knows? She has family around here, she grew up here, it’s up to her” the man casually replies. “Would you ever want her back?” I had always been self-conscious, unlike most married men who strayed, Bobby had always showed some fondness to his ex-wife.

“Yes, she’s my best friend” I frown struggling to believe that, that was all it was. He seemed to still hold some feelings for her but I wasn’t sure

“Just like you and Younghyun” the man counters, putting a spike in my jealousy. He knew what my relationship with Younghyun was, but his was different, it actually involved romantic feelings, so I couldn’t help but feel a little self-conscious about Park Junghwa and her role in Bobby’s life.

“Noona… you know that I’m committed to you” the man says eyes completely focused on mine, not a flicker of dishonesty detected. I sigh and try to trust him, he hadn’t let me down thus far.

The rest of the night is blissful for me, full of hugs, kisses and affection from my favourite man. I’m almost a bit reluctant to let him go later that night, but Sora beats me to the punch. The younger was in her pajamas, and had a face mask on, and she looked a little impatient.

“Thank you Mr Kim for taking my mum out, now say goodnight mum” the roles had the reversed and my immature child was playing the parent. Bobby smiles looking charmed by the younger and her brusque manner.

“Good night Ms. Seo” Bobby playfully quips. “Good night Mr Kim” I join in on the fun unable to resist. “I’m sure you’ve kissed already. I will allow a peck and no making out” I would be mortified if it wasn’t for the way that Bobby laughs amused, the man agrees to this instruction.

Bobby leans down to peck me on the lips, but feeling a little rebellious, I grab his face and tongue kiss him much to Sora’s horror. The girl scoffs before wedging herself between two adults and pushing them apart, her back is to me blocking my way while she pushes Bobby away.

“Okay Mr Kim, good night!” Bobby smiles seeming endeared to my daughter before he excuses himself. “Good night Ms Seo, good night young Miss Kang and Miss Im” he says with a charming smile before leaving. Finally, I take note of Jieun, she was staying over. Sora explains that as tomorrow was a weekend she thought her friend could stay over, I don’t have any problems with that but I would call her parents to clear it with them.

As I enter the house I can’t help but note once again that the pair had gotten very close in such a short time. They seemed to get on well, but it seemed that Jieun wasn’t going to let my little spit fire of a daughter lead her on, she had an opinion of her own.

Ji eun lectures Sora on manners, she should be better behaved. She has no self-control. I can’t help but unconsciously agree. Sometimes being so laxed on her meant she forgets her boundaries. It also didn’t help that my dear daughter Kang Sora is very stubborn.

“Shouldn’t have earlier been a clue about your lack of self-control-“, Jieun continues on her lecture. What she says seems to spook Sora who quickly tries to hush up her friend, but catches my suspicions. “What happened? earlier “-errr”, the girls stuttered.

“I was rude and told a guy that Jieun ikes him” Sora casually reveals, leading me to believe there was something bigger she was hiding but wouldn’t tell me. So I warn her not to be so quick it speaks, it was rude and ask her to apologise. She reluctantly does so, causing Jieun to smirk a little.

Deep into the night, I suddenly wake from my sleep. Despite my many attempts to try and fall asleep. So I sit up with laptop to get some work done, and in the background I play the news. The late night news report was on the many attacks on humans which were allegedly being done by drainers.

It was getting scary they were selling vampire defence kits, so I order one online. I wasn’t as understanding of drainers as Youghyun was, he had worked his butt off to earnestly defend one recently. Whilst I continued to be more and more mistrusting of their kind. I didn’t want my loved ones hurt by them, and with the attacks growing, I was becoming more concerned.

Later that day in the morning, I head over to work. The process has moved quickly; we had managed to book Jung Soojung for our advertisement campaign So we were in meetings in the morning trying to set up when we would put out the ads. We were going to be in meetings day trying to sort out our campaign, it’s tiring and draining but it’s work.

During our meeting Hayi is the first to suggest the head of the Drainer League well known member of the community, Goo Junhoe as part of our campaign. There are some mutterings of disapproval, but Hayi is insistent that we get him on board.

Goo Junhoe was young and good looking. He was extremely popular not only in the drainer community, but with his handsome looks he had wooed some humans too. Some of the employees coo over him, there was really no reason for us to not pursue him. We could only gain from having him on our campaign, and so it’s decided, we would go after him.

That day for lunch I meet up with Bobby, I had invited Hayi to join me but she had been against it. It was our first public outing around town, and he was claiming me as his girlfriend to his friend Changkyun. They seemed close and to know each other well, even though Changkyun was warm and receptive to everyone, he seemed more open with Bobby.

Being with him out in such a casual moment leaves me feeling content, everything was going according to my plan. To be with him in his life, things were going my way.

“Are you for real?” I over hear Hyojin. Suddenly Changkyun and Hyojin stare each other as if they conversing between the two of themselves. Bobby is briefly silent, as if he was trying to figure out what they were saying. It leaves me curious, but I knew it was none of my business.

As we take a stroll home, Bobby holds onto my arm leading the way. He reassures me that he was in this for the long haul, that he had returned to Mokpo to settle down in a life with me. “I’m here and I’m going to be here”. Bobby tells me that we were going to take our time. It leaves me partially unsatisfied, but I know I have to exercise patience to stay by his side.

When I do get home that evening, I find Younghyun was there preparing dinner. He looked happy, he was glowing, he seemed a lot lighter than he had been in a long time. The man was moving quick to prepare our dinner, as Sora sets the table he confesses that he and Youngjae talked.

Apparently a little someone had gotten involved and had words with Youngjae. Younghyun was a little bit embarrassed that his daughter had to intervene on his behalf. But whatever Sora had to say for her father had worked and now he was pursuing a relationship with someone he liked.

They were going to try and make it work, and even though I was happy that he was happy, I can’t help but be concerned. After all, Youngjae had been involved with Kim Hanbin, was that going to be ongoing? I was conflicted, I wanted to be happy for Younghyun. Cause he looked in bliss right now, so I make the promise to just say there by his side and support him no matter what, in his good and bad times as I had always done.

-33yrs


	7. ...Comeback

Youngjae’s POV.

 

“Excuse me… are you Mr Choi Youngjae?” a pretty, petite and somewhat familiar looking give solely approaches me. With her pale skinny height, slender frame and young looking face, she couldn't be more than sixteen or seventeen years old. Her makeup was on a little thick, she had a bold red lipstick and striking eye wing make up done, it seemed that she wanted to look more mature than she was but I had been a teacher long enough to know techniques young girls went through to age themselves.

Though the young lady was young around school age, I didn't recognise her to be one of the students that attended my academy so what she was doing on the school grounds was beyond my knowledge. Yet still the young woman watches me, she looked a curious when watching me, as if she were I ternary making a judgement about me. Still polite as I can, I greet the young woman who Introduces herself.

 

“Hello my name is Kang Sora, the daughter of Seo Sung Kyung and Kang Younghyun” I’m taken aback. Her brief Introduction had lead me to linking Hayi’s new work colleague and Younghyun together as a couple. Parents to a shared child, a grown up one who was stood here in front of me watching with inquisitive eyes. I was honestly a little unsettled, I didn't know what was going to happen but I didn't get the impression that what was going to happen would be any good.

 

Why was the young girl here looking for me? Maybe she had found out that there had been a brief relationship between her father and I, so she was here to warn me away from him and protect her family unit. I could understand her position and hoped there would be no scene caused in process of this, I would simply just inform her that things between he'd father and I were over and hopefully usher her out of the school building.

“Give my dad a chance please” the young girl pleads, leaving me a little thrown off. I hadn't been expecting it, that the married father I would like's daughter would approach me this way. I was expecting a tongue lashing, but here she was very calm and polite. “He’s an idiot for not telling you he was married and that he was a father” the girl comments revealing a better knowledge than she should have.

“That day you walked in on us at the café…” the young woman explains that her parents had met up to discuss the finalization of their divorce. Both parents were trying to take the sting out of the news and took her to the café for some delicious food, gathered together they would discuss all the things that needed to be discussed. “but when your parents have been separated for three years, you kinda see it coming” the young girl adds.

“It's been a few years since I've known what kind of Man my father is” Kang Sora describes having to come to terms to the reality that her father is gay. “He’s always been there to us” there was a more complicated story behind how he had become a husband or father but what was simple to her was her father was a good man who shouldn’t be overlooked.

“Just because his past was complicated doesn’t mean his future will be” the girl looks me in the eye, as she looks me in the eye I can tell that she’s for real. She must love her so much to be doing this, she showed a lot of understanding and maturity and it was shaking me.

What was even more shocking for me was that Younghyun had told his daughter all this information about what had happened between all of us. I wasn’t use to dealing with someone who could be so brave and open to confess something like this to his child. The fact that she was so open and understanding had to be a testament to what kind of father and man that he was, something about it impresses me.

Honestly I had struggled in trying to pushing Younghyun away. Thinking he was a married man in a complicated situation, I had pushed him away to stop myself from getting hurt. However, those times when he had misunderstood, I had let him misunderstand my situation with Hanbin. I let him thin that Hanbin and I were in an ongoing relationship. It was my way to push Younghyun away cause of the disappointment and hurt that I felt.

In such a short time I had fallen for the other man, and I was scared about going through so much pain and aggravation only to lose him to his family. I didn’t want to lose him, so I was throwing him away before he could throw me away. I had acted so rashly that I didn’t get to hear his side of things.

My actions had been so rash, and I’m sure it had hurt Younghyun. I had treated him unfairly and the regret is almost immediate, but still I’m a little apprehensive. My heart just wants me to go and find Younghyun and apologise for my behaviour, but the logical side of me wonders if he would even accept it. I don’t want to go to him and be rejected, it was what I had been avoiding this whole time.

“Take a chance on my dad, he’s someone whose worth it” Kang Sora pleads before excusing herself. Leaving me alone to think over her words, I don’t know how long I’m there for, but it’s not until my phone rings bringing me out of my thoughts. I am snapped out of my thoughts, I take out my phone from my pocket and I’m surprised to see who was on the caller ID.

Nevertheless, I answer the phone and my heart flutters at the sound of his voice. This was the first time in weeks that I had answered his calls, the only other times I had spoken to him were face to face when we had coincidently met in person. Much like then my heart was fluttering, it had never stopped for him; so I simply say hello and hope to calm down.

“You picked up…” the man timidly comments, he sounded so surprised and a little relieved, or maybe that’s what I was hoping. His voice sounded different for the normal happy and upbeat man that I had been around, although our time together, I had gotten used to his sunny disposition.

“So my daughter tells me that she met you today” I hear his voice echo through the phone. It sounded like he was walking somewhere; I wonder if he was done with work already. When had he heard about me seeing his daughter, she hadn’t even been gone that long.

“Ah yes…” I don’t really know what else to say, I didn’t know how to manoeuvre the conversation so I let the elder who had called me do it. “She says she spoke to you about her foolish father” the man says light heartedly. “Can we meet up and talk?” Younghyun sounded like he was being careful with what he was saying to me, not that I could blame him, I’d given him a hard time.

“Yes…”, in agreeing to meet him, I tell him that I would text him my home address and we would meet up and talk. I wanted to talk to him privately and I didn’t want to gain all the eyes of the town. We needed to just to talk without the intervention of those around me.

So half an hour later, I find myself in the same room as Kang Younghyun and there is no longer any of the tension and animosity from before. Instead face to face, here we were talking openly and honestly. As he talks Younghyun reveals the struggle that he ounce had with his sexuality, and how as a way to escape a future planned by his parents, he found a loophole in his childhood friend Seo Sung Kyung.

For some years he was disowned by his family, but in those years he was granted the freedom to be who he was with his wife and friend. Over the years he was more of a brother to his wife, and his put most of his efforts into raising his child who he had so honourably taking responsibility for. In that time, he had no regretted his decision at all, but the reason he had kept it from me was that he believed our week in Busan was only going to be a week, he didn’t foresee himself developing more feelings for me.

Honestly neither had I, but sensing the intensity of my feelings for him growing I had rushed away before the man could even contact me. According to him, the morning after our last night in Busan, he had intended to ask me for my number, he had intentions of reaching out to me.

“When I woke up you had already left” the man expresses his disappointment at me leaving without a goodbye, leaving me to feel guilty. I had been acting so rashly, in order to protect my feelings, I hadn’t even thought of Younghyun’s feelings at all.

“Then I moved to Mokpo and you happened to be from here and I knew it was… fate” the man confesses something that was a little corny, but it was a shared feeling between the two of us. It seemed like something had been pulling us closer and closer, since we had met.

“I should have told you sooner and I’m sorry” the man cops to his mistake and so I have to as well. The fact that I didn’t even give him a chance to explain himself, and that I jumped to my own conclusion. I knew what it like struggling with telling something that was heavy and not wanting them to be put off the person you liked because of it.

“Look I know that I don’t deserve it, but I would really like a second chance” Younghyun earnestly asks, his eyes searching mine. The look on his face, it was melting the wall that I had built up for him. As I nod my head, I can’t help but take note of how brightly Younghyun smiles.

Without hesitation, the man pulls me into his warm embrace. My body immediately relaxes in my arms, I wrap my arms around his waist pull him close and start to apologise. The man comforts me as I repeatedly apologise, because I had just started to realise that I had hurt Younghyun’s feelings in an attempt to protect mine.

The elder doesn’t seem to hold this against me he was holding me close and patting my back to comfort me. “Did you really miss me that much?” the man whispers in my ears, teasing. I was too sheepish to admit it; I nod my head before hiding it into his broad chest causing the man to laugh.

“Shit, Youngjae. You have no idea how much I missed you” my heart flutters because it sounds like he really means it. I feel the man’s hands slide from around my shoulders, and up my arms towards my neck and lastly to my face. Pulling me from my chest, the man points my head upwards before pulling me close into a kiss. It had been so long since I had done this, my knees get weak just at the feel of his lips on mine.

The man hums into the kiss, before nudging my mouth open and slowly deepening this kiss. Coaxing my tongue out, the man wins dominance over me immediately pushing the kiss further until I find myself pressed onto my front door. Although the door knob was poking uncomfortably in my lower back, it wasn’t enough to pull me away from Kang Younghyun’s soft lips.

Unfortunately, I am not the one to pull away first, although he it does it slowly. It feels reluctant, especially as the man leans in his head onto mine. We had just gotten back into this, and now all of a sudden he was stop, I felt light headed. The man was like something I needed to breath in to survive again, kissing him again makes me realise how much I needed him.

“I don’t want to go…” my heart drops, he only just got here. “But I have a fifteen-year-old daughter who I need to lecture on boundaries”, the man says with chuckle, a sheepish smile makes it across his face. Younghyun admits that as much as he wanted to stay with me, he had his responsibilities back home.

Before he goes Younghyun does clear up somethings between the two of us, he makes his intentions with me clearer. Because there had been no assurances for me, I had let my insecurities get the best of me. I had been embarrassed believing I was just being used, and in turn let my misunderstanding with Younghyun grow more.

“This isn’t about me getting laid Youngjae, I want a future for us” the man earnestly expresses. He holds my hand, stroking my palm with his palm as if to reassure me what he was saying was true.

“I know my situation is a little complicated. But I won’t let that affect what we have”, with full transparency the man lists all the reasons that we might not suitable for each other but none seemed to be enough to be enough. But it was already too late for me, I wanted him so much, I wouldn’t give up on us. I couldn’t, I know that as I stare into his eyes. Those bright loving eyes, they pull me in and shit, it didn’t feel like I could ever leave.

\- 4 months later

“Okay class, that’s it for the day” after a long school day I finally end the lesson. Most of the students had switched off for the day, they weren’t listening to what I was saying and to be totally honest, I didn’t give a fuck. I had been up since four am trying to put together a last minute lesson plan that I should have done the night before.

However, with my unpredictable boyfriend coming over, there wasn’t much work that got done in our night spent together. So much like my students do, I rushed some last minute work and hoped that I wouldn’t get caught. Grown up me, who should know better wouldn’t be making the same mistake again, I would surely get all this work done during the short break.

The class like the speed of lightening makes their way out of my class, and out of school for the day. They were in the spring of their life, of course they didn’t want to be cooped up in their math class listening to me talking about variables and linear equations.

Once the class is more or less emptied of students, I get to packing up. If I was quick, then I wouldn’t have to wait long for my bus and I could get home with no problems. That’s my intention, is to get home and relax and watch Netflix before starting to dive into my work for the weekend.

As I’m about to head off out, I spot sat at the very back of the class with her belonging still out on the desk was a student. Son Chaeyong the lovable teacher’s pet, even in her last year of school where students experienced the desire to rebel the younger had stayed very level headed. She was the model student, but staying after school with nothing being planned was a little bit above and beyond.

The young lady looked a little bit different over the months, she looked like she had matured. Her face was a little less chubby, she had grown taller and looked a lot more feminine and fragile. Not only that but she looked like she had a lot on her mind and something told me it was more than academic worries that were haunting her.

“Chaeyong?” the call the younger who had been in a trance all this time, she probably hadn’t even heard me call for the end of the day. When I call for her, she suddenly breaks out of her trance looking surprised that her class had left. It slowly dawns on her that class has ended and she begins to pack up, fumbling with her belongings.

“Sorry Mr Choi!” the younger calls out, as she rushes to the exit. She babbles on trying to find a fitting excuse, using the stress of the lesson as a her cover up but I could tell that there was much more to what was happening and she seemed way too scared. There was a flicker of fear in her eyes, so when I reach over to stop her she jumps almost out of her skin yelping a little, something she quickly apologises for.

“Oh how embarrassing, I’m sorry. I’m just a bit jumpy” the young girl tries to explain, but I don’t pay that much attention. My main focus was what was on her neck, it was a sign that I recognised very well. I knew what it meant, to have those two faded but still visible dots on her neck, I recognised what they meant and my heart drops seeing it on my student.

“Goodnight Mr Choi” the student must be uncomfortable because of my staring, as she runs out. Did she know that I knew or was she really jumpy? Before I can follow her out and ask her more questions, with inhuman speed the younger rushes out of the building. Son Chaeyong was a drainer, and this had been recent, but she didn’t seem willing to speak up about it.

As it turns out I do end up missing my bus home and have to wait an extra half an hour, which gives me time to weigh in my head what I was going to be doing with Son Chaeyong. This was the first time I had come across a student who was a drainer, or at least one that I knew of.

Being so young, I could understand how conficted she must be feeling. I wasn’t much older than her when I became this thing, being a drainer. It wasn’t as easy as I had hoped it would be. I thought it would be something I could manage, that my thirst would disappear after the first or second year. After all the drainers around me had made it look so easy, how was I supposed to know that my thirst would be everlasting.

Over time I had made it a habit of mine not to try and manage my thirst without drinking blood unless it was necessary. I was going cold turkey or at least I had been trying for the last few years bar a few relapses and slip ups I had been pretty well disciplined until I was drinking.

Real blood was not an option for me, not from my friends who offered their services whenever they noticed that I was a little low. Although synthetic blood could never touch the real thing in taste and nutrients, it was something I was starting to use more and more, especially now as it had been rolled out to the general drainer public.

Best friend and business owner Changkyun was one of the few business owners who was proudly selling the synthetic blood. Most businesses avoided it feeling it attracted the wrong attention, the humans feared the drainers who were out in the open completely ignoring the fact they had been surrounded their whole lives

However, Changkyun was very accommodating to the drainers in town, for the most part the addition of synthetic blood to his menu bought a few new faces to the Happy Café. But what was quiet telling was that some of the faces that were familiar to our small community had been drainers in hiding, but now they had come out to the light. They were unafraid, they were integrating into society.

Still there was still some stigma towards drainers, and I still wasn’t ready to share that part of myself to the people around me. My family, friends and boyfriend, only a few people knew what I was and I was going to keep it that way, at least for now that’s what I felt.

For Chaeyong was it the same? Did anyone know about her change? How had it happened? Was she struggling with her thirst? Did she have it under control? There were so many questions that I had for her. I wanted to make sure that she was okay, I wanted to help her as best as I could. 

On the way down the block away from home, as I walk past a park. I hear a screaming; it was a milk curdling kind of scream that sends shivers down my back. Without hesitation I travel to the source sound, it didn’t sound very nearby but hearing it just once, it seemed that the person was terrified. I had learnt to be on high alert and not let things like this pass by.

So as fast as I can, I towards the source of the sound which was in a wooded area of a park. From the smell of it, a gang of drainers had crowded a few frightened humans. Looking at them, they all seemed to be around the same age, in some form of uniform but from different schools, only one of the drainers seems to be from my academy.

There wasn’t a physical altercation yet, not it looked like they were going to taunt their victims. I had seen a scene like this before, the drainers who had more strength were very confident in their upper hand and the fear that they caused in the people surrounding them.

“What did I tell you about making noise” one of the female drainers yells to one of the humans who cowers in fear behind another one of their friends.

“Who should we start off with?” one of drainers says with a frightening smirk he moves forward, making his move to attack but I had already moved in to attack. I wasn’t going to hurt them, I just wanted to defend the humans around. I wasn’t going to sit back and watch them be attacked like this.

My attack throws the younger drainers off; they had been so focused on taunting that they hadn’t even noticed me approaching the scene. The human dive out of the way shocked, and keep hidden as I take on the task of fighting the drainers alone.

Despite there being nine drainers, it was seven against one. I was having to fend off attacks from eight limbs, and to try and fit in an attack when I could. This was all quiet difficult but it was possibly done. I get to figure out as we’re fighting that the most of these drainers were very young and inexperienced which works fairly well in my favour.

Although the collective of drainers does get their blows in and do draw blood, it’s not anything that I haven’t experienced before. Although the drainers were stubborn and weren’t going down in their fight so easily, and it’s as I try to think of an escape plan for the humans and myself that I do get a helping hand from the protectors of Mokpo.

The pack of werewolves makes their way onto the field, there were around eight wolves which wasn’t even a large percentage of the pack as a whole. I was familiar with the core of the pack, which included my young god daughter and god son Im Jieun and Im Ji Kyu. They had both grown up well and were these strong wolves who were carving out their own story, taking over their parents who had protected the town for over a decade

Ji Eun leads the pack, she was smart and strong girl with a sense of responsibility. She was a tall, lean and furry grey wolf with intense large and brown eyes. Running towards the drainers, some of the wolves surround the area making sure that the drainers cannot leave.

While one of the wolves walks over in front of the humans who seemed to have calmed down, I watch as the wolf sits in front of the humans to protect them. There was a different look in the wolf’s eyes, I knew what he was doing, I had seen it done so many times before, he was making sure these humans didn’t remember anything that happened later.

That’s how the wolf pack had managed to stay so elusive to the general public, they saved the day and fought on the behalf of their town and then wiped away memories of their fights. It saved a lot of fear that could be caused. Seeing the response that drainers being revealed had put off their community, they liked working in the shadows.

It doesn’t take long for the wolves to get the situation sorted out, they end up killing the drainers who were determined to fight and attack the humans. It leaves only a few drainers who had given up, and with that they would be taken away to a nearby drainer council building.

The local drainer council’s duty was to make sure that the drainers in the area were protected. That they weren’t being targeted and in some cases if they had nowhere to go, they would house those drainers until they found new accommodation. Their other responsibility is to make sure that the drainers in this town were fit to be among humans, if they were deemed to be a danger they were kept in confinement until they could be trained to be.

No one knew what retraining was and what it involved but anyone that I knew that had participated had seemed to come out of it with more self-control. I could only assume or hope that it was humane and lead to the best results for the drainer and human involved.

Jikyu and the pack escort drainers to the council’s HQ, whilst Jieun escorts me and one of the drainers out of the park. The young wolf eyes the student that I had asked to take responsibility for, the young woman had reluctantly allowed me not to not involve Chaeyong in being taken to the HQ for retraining. I had explained that she had been the only person who hadn’t attacked me and that I believed she was harmless.

“Uncle Youngjae, you should be more careful” the younger lectures. Strangely over time I had grown accustomed to seeing the younger nude walking around, from a young age she had been bursting in between wolf and human form so I had seen it all.

However, Chaeyong seemed to be having a bit of struggle with it all, seeing a wolf must be new to her. So hiding the younger’s modesty, I had over my hoodie which Jieun takes to cover herself.

“You need to be careful, running in like that. Your father would be worried” I turn the tables around. Although she did have back up, I could see Jieun had leapt into the situation and hadn’t assed everything, if so she would have seen Chaeyong had done no wrong doing.

“You can talk, my dad would freak if he found out that his best friend had ran into a dangerous situation like that” the younger turns the tables on me.

” You are like my dad’s brother” the younger was right, no matter how many times I had helped Changkyun and showed him my strength, the man still worried a lot about me.

“Let’s not tell him the truth” the younger suggests that we keep this encounter between ourselves. “That’s dishonest”, I counter to the amusement of the younger. “It’s the way of the world” she retorts without hesitation. I grin fondly, she really was growing so quickly. “Okay, deal” this wasn’t a big enough secret to feel guilty about.

We pinky promise before the younger rushes off, she had work to get to but she had sensed the altercation and rushed over. The younger had a lot on her plate, and so she rushes off with a quick goodbye.

So that just leaves me to take a slightly shaken Chaeyong. The two of us walk to her home in a gated community nearby and as we do, there is some talking to be done. I ask the questions that I needed and hope to get an honest answer from the scared younger.

“How did you get those scars, are they what I think they are?” I ask pointing out the scars on her neck. “Are you what I think you are?” looking away, Chaeyong doesn’t answer out loud but it was enough to answer my question. Before I had never put much effort into it, but even now looking at her, smelling her, I could tell she was a drainer.

“You have to watch what kind of people you find yourself around” I warn the girl, I didn’t know her relationship to those drainers, but she seemed not to be too connected to them. She had enough awareness not to attack the humans, she had some self control which left me hopeful.

“They aren’t bad people, it’s just… they were made that way and it’s hard for them” the younger obviously sympathised with the attackers. I could tell that there was much more to that story, but before I can delve deeper we are interrupted as woman calls out Chaeyong’s name.

“Chaeyong! Is that you?” the voice sounded familiar. “Who are you with?” When we turn, I find stood in front of us was Kim Mari, the younger sister of Kim Hanbin. The woman doesn’t bother hiding her displeasure to see me, she never ever did. Despite us never really knowing each other, I could tell that she had never been too keen on me.

Believing that any of the marital problems between her brother and sister in law, were my fault. She had sought me out with the intention of warning me away from her family, even going as far as trying to ban me from Mokpo. She believes that because her family had grown up and settled in Mokpo, and with their status, that they had more right to stay.

Meanwhile, me the loose and gay boy who had troubled her older brother, didn’t need to stay. The woman despised me, she had a lot of misconceptions of me, she had never bothered to try and clear them up like Hayi had done over the years, she was incredibly stubborn, unlike Jungwoo the twin who had understood my feelings from the beginning.

“Why are you with this man Chaeyong?” the woman bluntly questions the younger. “Ah auntie… this is my teacher, Mr Choi” sensing the tension between the two adults, Chaeyong tries to cut through with it with niceties.

“They allow a man like you to influence young minds?” the woman scoffs, before asking once again what we were doing together. “He didn’t do anything weird to you did he?” the woman leaps almost excited at the prospect of the accusation being true, of course Chaeyong is embarrassed and rushes to my defence.

“Auntie, are you crazy!” mortified Chaeyong sends a warning look to her shameless aunt. “He was just escorting me home, its dark after all” Mari’s eyes glaze over at the explanation. “Whatever, get inside” the woman instructs, she pulls Chaeyong back to the direction of their house. It’s not until the younger is in the safety of her home, does Mari turn her attention back to me, she stares me down, frown ever present.

“Outside of being my niece’s teacher, then you shouldn’t have anything to do with her” the woman warns. “You’ve already caused enough chaos to my family, I won’t let you hurt another innocent” the woman continues. I scoff unable to resist.

“You find it funny?” the woman questions. “You should grow up Mari, you’re not the clueless 15-year-old anymore” this counter doesn’t sit well with Mari who looks like she’s going to rip my face off. You’re an adult, stop loosely making accusations “I warn. I had grown tired over time with her lack of respect when it came to me, so recently I started clapping back.

“Ridiculous” she replies before heading off into her home without any look to me. She was still so immature; I wonder what would have to be done for her to accept that the fault in her brother’s relationship was her brother’s?

Sighing deeply, I shake off the bad aura of the conversation and I head home. Having let himself with his key, I find in my kitchen amongst the battle field that was the key, was my handsome boyfriend. Emanating from the kitchen was a lovely sweet and spicy smell that sends my stomach roaring, I hadn’t much today and the smell was a reminder of that.

“Get changed and I’ll start serving the food” the man instructs me after delivering a soft and sensual kiss to my lips. We had moved past greetings, we were comfortable and domesticated it seemed. I of course had gone past my stage of panic and was settling into the commitment to the other male. It was upwards and onwards for us, there seemed to be a lot of promise in our relationship, but still I was apprehensive.

“Sora was with Jieun for the next week. So let’s make the most of it” Younghyun suggests over our dinner. I had barely settled down after my shower, and I hadn’t even sat down long enough for the excited elder to make his suggestion.

“With my baby mama and kid out of town, I thought maybe would take a little trip of our own?” the man adds. Honestly I was slowly becoming less intimidated by the fact the man had a family of his own. Especially with Sora who seemed to be whole lot more accepting of me in her father’s life.

Although she was always civil, I never seemed to ever really make any progress with Seo Sung Kyung and forming our own kind of relationship. It was easy to see that she didn’t trust me but I couldn’t really find the root of her suspicion. I hadn’t bothered to ask her why, unsure of what her reaction may be, it felt like maybe I would be poking a bear.

Despite the reservations from his ex-wife, Younghyun seemed quite keen on me. He was a loving and attentive boyfriend and our four-month relationship had been pretty smooth sailing, I felt comfortable around him, he fit in with my friendship circle and had the sign off from my siblings.

We hadn’t met each other’s parents yet; I was a bit concerned about how my parents would feel about him. They had been trying to direct me in the way of good looking, professional church going men, and Younghyun wasn’t the latter so I worried that they wouldn’t see him as the former of those three things, the smart and competent handsome lawyer.

The fact he was a single father as well added to the pressure, I wasn’t sure how my parents would react to me getting together with a man who already had a child. Also explaining that he wasn’t bisexual and was in fact a homosexual male would be a task, my parents weren’t yet convinced in the fluidity of sexuality and I didn’t want to cause they more concern.

“Let’s do it” the man explains that he wanted to do all the things that I was concerned about. He wanted to meet my parents, he wanted me to meet his parents and his friends. “We’re in a serious relationship, it’s a step we need to get out of the way” the an explains as if it was so simple.

Over our time spent together, I had gotten to find out that Younghyun had kind of fragile relationship with his family. There was the initial disapproval of him getting his childhood friend pregnant.

Briefly there was a cease fire between him and his elders when he became a successful lawyer, but that turned into disapproval when he followed his ex-wife to Mokpo giving up his very own firm. Although Younghyun was in contact with his younger brother, his relationship with his father seemed a little sore at the moment.

“It’s an opportunity for you to meet the people in my life who are important” the man is full of encouragements and even though I’m a little hesitant, I give in. If all else failed, then at least a trip to Busan would picturesque. So as I tended to do with the elder when he made a request, I agree to it.

That weekend is spent in Mokpo, I do my best to get all the work that I needed to get marked and prepped done. Younghyun is busy closing off his case so we don’t get to see much of each other. That wasn’t a problem for me, with the two of us it felt like we could do that, we weren’t a clingy type of couple. If anything, it felt like we were close friends who happened to have deeper feelings for each other, a balance that I liked.

“First impressions are key and habits tend to stick” Jinwoon states. The elder had come to see me off before my trip to Busan, it was Monday morning and we had been delayed by Younghyun having to sort something out with a case. The man had invited me out for a coffee that morning, and we were talking over the possibility of me meeting Younghyun’s parents.

“You’re a very, sweet, warm, loving and fun kid” the man says as he watches me with fondness, it wasn’t the first time that I had heard the man say those words. Choi Jinwoon had always been my cheerleader, there to encourage me and push me forth when I was feeling hesitant about something. He seemed to think the sun shone from my being.

“You’re also an awkward little jelly bean” the man reaches over the across the table to fluff my hair. The man speaks of my habit of being reserved, instead of showing the potential I had as a person, I would become introverted around new people. The outgoing man warns me not to fall into bad habits and show the best me that I could, making me more nervous.

The fact that Jinwoon was making this speech meant he knew the gravity of the situation. If I messed up my first impression with Younghyun’s family, with his situation already so fragile, he knew it wouldn’t help anything for the future. I knew what he was getting at, but he was trying to do it softly.

Jinwoon visits, tells me to put my first foot forward and not to be too nervous. The man expresses his relief, to know that that I’m happy. The man approved of Younghyun and was the first sibling I’d introduced Younghyun to. The two men had developed a good friendship, both working in law, they had far too much to talk about.

“Hyung you look tired” I comment, trying to change the direction of conversation. The man looked more tired recently, I suspected that was why he had asked to meet up. I wasn’t very energetic, I was pretty chill and I’m sure he needed that right now.

“Well raising kids does that to you” the man continues to warn me about raising children. Raising children was something that I had long since closed the book on ever hoping for. I didn’t expect to conceive a child through natural means and I doubted that I could go through the whole process of adoption or surrogacy. I was fine with this reality, I was close to my nephews and nieces and so I didn’t long too much for it.

“Choi Jinwoon will never give up on little nephews from my litter brother”, the man seemed to be broodier on my behalf recently. “When noona and hyung are ready” I say speaking about Junhyuk and Soojung who had yet to start their own family, something my mother had never forgotten to comment on.

“Just call me to baby sit when you change your mind” the man says with a grin. All I can do is hope he lets it go, I wasn’t planning on having any children and I didn’t want to talk it through more.

After a fun afternoon with my brother, Younghyun picks me up to start our long drive to Busan. Jinwoon momentarily get caught up praising each other on their recent court successes, something Changkyun seems to find amusing as watches on from behind the counter. The man knew me well and he knew that I was bored out my skull. This was my holiday so clearing my throat, I reach for Younghyun’s hand and lead him away.

“Enjoy your trip kids!” the elder calls out as I pull Younghyun out to the parking lot. I pull the elder to his car parked at the back of the parking lot nearby, I was impatient to get on the road. Not that I was excited to be scrutinised by Younghyun’s close family and friends, but I still wanted to get it all out of the way, and waiting had made my nerves frazzled a little.

Younghyun apologises for keeping me held up, before we start up our journey. The man looked like he had some things on his mind, but I don’t bother asking, selfishly I wanted to just enjoy time with him.

The man’s aura and energy changes as we make our road trip to Busan. It’s comfortable, the conversation flows comfortable and when it stops there’s no awkward silences, we had ironed out those kinks. During the journey the man takes a call with Sora to check up on her, he was a very committed father who was amusingly putty in his teenage daughter’s hands.

Sora and Sung Kyung were in Seoul on a trip with Bobby, the woman wanted to get her child and boyfriend closer. Watching the man interact with his child was always quite cute and endearing to see. However sometimes it was bit awkward to watch, the man was a little different and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

We finally reach Busan in the late evening, and check in the same hotel that we had finally met in. That night we head back to the place we met, as we do all the god memories of Busan flash through my head. I get excited at the prospect of making new ones, this wasn’t just a meet the family and friends trip. There was fun to be had with my boyfriend, and I had some things planned, places to see, foods to eat and so on.

As we get into the hotel Younghyun receives a call, it was his old friend Yoon Dowoon. So it’s up to me to check in for the both of us, whilst the man takes his call. It didn’t bother me much; it would probably be quicker for me to do it. Unlike my first time in the same hotel, I am served by a very kind pleasant young male who friendly and eager.

In no time the man gets me checked in, and I head upstairs to the shared room. Younghyun had been so busy with is call, so I just sent him the room number and get settled down in my room. Needing to wash the day off of me, I rush into the shower and get myself cleaned up.

Whilst I am showering, Younghyun joins me. The man sits on the toilet and starts to talk to me. He apologises for taking so long, but he explains that Dowoon had been acting quite strange the elder wanted to check up on him. So kind, so caring, he goes out of his way for the people around him. It was something that I really liked about him.

The man reveals that his long-time friend was very curious about me, admitting that until recently he hadn’t told Dowoon about me. As I step out of the shower, the man is there to the side and towel me down. The man takes great pleasure in groping me, whilst continuing to talk.

“He’s protective about those close to him” even with the busy schedule on his plate. “I wanted to be sure of our relationship, before I let him meet you” the man explains that they had been close for so long. “He’s someone I’ve been close to since we were young, he knows mostly everything about me” he didn’t want Dowoon to get too protective and ruin him.

“It’d be nice, if you got along” the man says as I get changed. Interally I sigh, yet another person in Younghyun’s life that I needed to impress and get along with, it was hard sometimes being with someone who was so highly thought of as he was. So far I only had Sora on my side, Sung Kyung seemed very iffy on me and I wondered if his family or friends would feel similarly? I was a little unnerved thinking about it.

“Don’t worry, once he sees how cute, sweet and funny you are, he’ll love you” the man tries to comfort me. I wasn’t sure if I could agree, my first impressions were never the best and something in my gut tells me that there would be something I be happy about.

Whilst the man goes to take his shower, I reply to a text from Yien. The man seems unsatisfied with my reply because soon enough my phone rings. It was Yien with a video call. I wish I could just ignore the call, but I knew that the elder would hold a grudge and I would come to regret it in the future. So very reluctantly, I answer the call and not to my surprise, the elder was completely butt naked. The man pans his camera from his lower naked region and upwards to his smirking face.

“Hyung missed you my dear” the man greets. However, I refuse to talk to the elder until he was fully dressed. The man knew I was on a trip with my boyfriend and him being naked on the call, it would make things uncomfortable. The pair had few interactions through video chats and I had easily sensed a bit of tension between them, and I wasn’t going to make it more tense and awkward between them.

Yien is very reluctant, but he does manage to a shirt to put on and he keeps his shot mainly on his face. Without hesitation he reveals that he had broken up with Minsu, the man who months before had gone running to him. I thought they had been working through their issues, that Minsu wasn’t going to give up on his love for the man, but here I was receiving this news.

Against the will of my brain, my heart thumps in my chest. I didn’t know why I was reacting this way, but I do everything in my power to not show anything other than concern. All I wanted for Yien was for him to be happy, and I knew that he had to be feeling hurt by the break up.

“We just needed to go our separate ways, it wasn’t working well” the man brushes it off, but I could see the hurt in his eyes. I was concerned and Younghyun could probably see that in me, as he lets me get on with it. No interrupting, he focuses on getting dried up and changed and he check son his work through emails, the man was highly patient.

My friend and I talk into the night, and Younghyun is the first to slip off onto sleep. I knew that this was selfish and wrong of me to ignore him in favour of Yien, but he understood what Yien was to me. I had told him several times what Yien was to me, he was the most important person to me.

It’s early morning hours the next day when I finally do go to sleep. Younghyun had been sleeping for a little while, and he more than welcoming when I do settle down for the night. The man pulls me into his embrace and we lie there for the night, and it’s not long before I do nod off to sleep.

My peaceful slumber is interrupted hours later when Younghyun wakes me up. The man was up and ready for the day. According to him, he had let me sleep in a little bit longer, showered, dressed and gotten us something to snack on before lunch. He would be heading out to meet his friend and so he instructs me to get washed up and dressed and we would meet him later.

So as quick as I can, I head to the hotel’s restaurant and get to the table booked for our group. I sit down facing the view of the beach and the ocean, it was cold but a bright and sunny day.

Apparently Yoon Dowoon was running late because he went to pick up his boyfriend. It was a last minute decision and they had hit a lot of traffic, so I check up on Yien who teases me about my nagging. However, I could tell he was happy to hear from me, so I decide to be more proactive with the elder in the future, it felt like he needed me too.

Engrossed in a back and forth conversation with Yien, I don’t notice my boyfriend approach me. I jump suddenly as he grabs my shoulders to startle me. “Hey, it’s me!” the man chuckles before lightly pecking me on my lips and lightly fluffing me through my hair. Playfully I punch the man’s broads shoulder making him laugh.

“Behave! We have guests!” Younghyun moves to the side and introduces his good looking friend Yoon Dowoon, the man was a very cold chic and awkward man. The man was very handsome, but he had a hidden cuteness to him, but it wasn’t something that he was actively showing to me.

His hair was a brown slicked back giving him a mature kind of look. The man was dressed in suit, leaving me to feel a little underdressed. I was simply in a smart pair of black skinny jeans, a smart white shirt and a mint green jumper. Younghyun thought that I looked cute in the look and assured me it wouldn’t be a smart tie affair after all Younghyun was dressed similarly.

Politely I greet the man, and in the corner of my eye I see a face that I hadn’t seen in a long time. Right there, was someone I hadn’t seen in almost seven years, since I had returned home from work to read a dear John letter. Jinyoung was stood in front of me, the man who had left me.

“Youngjae-“, the much older man lets out, he looks shocked to see me. Younghyun and Dowoon both looked unaware of what had just happened and the significance of this moment. I was left a little overwhelmed, Jinyoung wasn’t speaking up and Dowoon and Younghyun were chatting not aware of the tension between my ex and I. Jinyoung was painfully silent, he watches me his eyes full of emotion, he looked conflicted.

Even since hearing my name, Dowoon hadn’t acknowledged any kind of link between Jinyoung and I, it seems like he didn’t know. So it seems that even after abruptly leaving me, the man hadn’t ever acknowledged me to his new partner. I hadn’t been important enough to even be spoken about. My blood starts to boil at that thought, as old memories come to flooding.

“Hyung... I’m going to get some air, it’s getting hard to breathe”, I get up and excuse myself without waiting for Younghyun to reply. I rush out of the hotel restaurant and out of the hotel, I move quick not looking back. Before I know it, I’m already out of the hotel and the general city area. Without even thinking I’ve found myself at a beach nearby, one that I had visited with Younghyun on our previous trip.

For a little while, I sit trying to get my thoughts in line. Jinyoung hadn’t been in contact with me for so long and suddenly there he was. I had to admit that I was a little startled and I wasn’t sure how to react. All the memories were starting to flood my head. Unable to take it, I take out my phone and call the person that I needed the most. The person I knew who would understand what I was feeling, because that person knew me better than I knew myself.

“Whoa! Two calls in two days, what did I do to deserve this luck!” the man skips the greeting to tease me. I hadn’t even spoken yet, the man hadn’t sensed my mood I suspect. “But aren’t you supposed to be in the middle of a dinner with your current boyfriend and his friends?” Yien was worried, I could finally hear it in his voice.

“What happened?” the man is calm and allows me to listen. He waits patiently as I try to gather my thoughts and emotions which were all in a whirlpool, I was struggling.

“Park Jinyoung. I saw him”, there is a sudden pause of explanation. “Park Jinyoung, as in the ex who left you with any word or explanation, that asshole?” the man asks sounding as surprised as I felt.

“The very one” I reply winning him a heavy sigh. “So what happened, did you speak to him? Yell at him? kick him in the shins? all the things that you wanted to do?” the man had been around as I moaned and complained and made all these promises. But when I saw her, I didn’t get the chance. I admit the elder that I had run away.

“Right… well that’s a little anti-climactic isn’t it? Isn’t this what you wanted for so long?” Yien is less than impressed. “To see Park Jinyoung in the flesh and chew him a new one?” it was true, that’s what I had told the man, but here I was on a beach alone holding back the tears.

“Well in all honestly I hadn’t been expecting my boyfriend and his boyfriend who happens to be friends with my boyfriend to be around” this situation was much more complicated than I had envisioned. Foolishly I had always envisioned us bumping into each other a coffee shop or an airport, where we both alone, and I would be in a rush and so I would clearly tell him, that he didn’t end me. That I could live without him.

“What have I taught you Youngjae? Life is like the girl guides, you got to be prepared” the man half jokes. I sigh, I knew he was trying to make a joke and cut through my stress but it felt a bit lacking.

“I know that this is a lot for you Youngjae, it’s not something you were expecting to do any time soon. So if you don’t feel like it, you can just ignore him and avoid him” the man offers. “But issues don’t get solved that way, questions don’t get answered and feelings don’t get resolved when you run away. They just fester until they become even more of a problem” I knew he was right, Yien was always right.

“What am I supposed to say?” I ask. “All the things you’ve wanted to say all these years, the things we have sat and talked about and more. “Once you start you won’t be able to stop until it’s all out there, and when it is, you can enjoy the rest of your trip” the man sounded a little too hopeful.

Does he think it will be that simple? I had anxiety just thinking about it. There was so much that I had to say, but things were different.

“It was never going to be simple, but since when has your life ever been simple? The man stumps me with his question. “Should I come to London?” I change the subject. I meant my suggestion, but I was only half hearted in this question. The truth was if Yien really need me to be with him, then I probably would book time off and head over to him, but I still had obligations here in Korea.

“No. It’s nothing. Just make sure to call me when you speak to him, tell me everything?” I knew he wasn’t asking because he was nosy, I knew it would literally bug him if he didn’t know what happened.

Before returning to the hotel, I take some time to calm down my thoughts. I had been ignoring Younghyun’s calls, unsure of what to say. I had said so many times that I wanted a less complicated life, after all I had been through so much and I wanted to live a comfortable lifestyle. The last four months that we had been together, Younghyun had been a sense of calm and normalcy in my life.

What did Jinyoung’s sudden reappearance in my life suddenly mean? How was I supposed to explain the way I was feeling, when I had tried so hard to minimalise to it Younghyun. I had never ever told Younghyun’s Jinyoung’s name, never feeling the need to share that information. I hadn’t even expected them to even be linked through his friend.

When I return to the hotel, I find that Younghyun was waiting in the hotel room, he looked concerned. He immediately pulls me into a tight hug.

“Are you okay?” he sounded more concerned than someone would do, for their boyfriend leaving to just get their breath. “How much do you know?” I ask the man, he reveals that he knew that Jinyoung and I were once together and it’s been a while since we’d seen each other.

“Tell me about it”, I nod my head, the man sits on the bed, pulling me onto his lap. I lean my head onto his shoulder, the man strokes through my hair as I start to speak to him. I start to go into detail, telling him everything.

It was absolutely everything, from Hanbin and how I had been so heartbroken after the end of our relationship. To how I had tried to avoid ever falling in love again, and I hadn’t expected that my one-night stand with Jinyoung who was then a priest, would ever lead to what it had for us. The man had found his way into my heart, and even after an eight-month separation we still had feelings for each other.

Our relationship had been rocky in the beginning; I even tell him about Jaebum who was also linked to Jinyoung. Their relationship had ended up so cruelly, and Jinyoung still had issues that spanned back from that. I had committed myself to Jinyoung and to staying by his side, but that had gotten complicated when Jaebum had showed an obsession towards me which ended in me being kidnapped.

As I tell Younghyun all of this, I could tell he was having a hard time taking this all in. Even as I told the story, it all felt very heavy. Honestly it had all been heavy to go through, and it was hard for me to adjust when become a drainer. It had been something that I had foolishly, as a way to keep me closer to Jinyoung. If I became a drainer, then we could end up together for however long we lasted. Back then I thought it would have been centuries and not just short of seven years together.

Things turned out that way, after such a traumatising two days in which I had ended up being stabbed almost to death. Jinyoung had been the one to save me, and since then I had lived as a drainer. That was the life that I had foolishly chosen, and ever since I had struggled with my addiction. That same addiction had lead me to lose my temper with Younghyun after a night of some heavy drinking.

Once I felt like I had said everything, confessed all of the things that I had kept from him. It was the truth and I was so scared of how Younghyun would take it, I wasn’t sure how he would react to this all. So I keep quiet and I don’t push him for his reaction, I let him process it all and I prepare myself for an abrupt dumping.

“You’ve been through so much” the man utters after a brief silence. It sounds like it had before, it had been that way before Kim Jaeyeong had broken things off with me. It had been just too much for my boyfriend of a year, he knew I had issues with a heartbreak in the past, but he couldn’t deal with the added stress of me being a drainer. Our relationship quickly collapsed and the man transferred abroad for his job.

Sweeping me into his warm embrace, the man surprises me. The man kisses me down my neck, leaving slow flutters down my neck. “I’m so relieved” the man thanks me for being honest with him. To him, it’s been months that had passed and he had always thoughts and doubt that lingered for him.

“Just be more honest and open with me, please” the man had always sensed that I had been omitting things from me. “I’m sorry, I know I gave you such a hard time for not being honest” I had been so hard on him on discovering that he had been married. “I don’t know; your story is not one that’s easy to tell” the man thankfully understands my reservation.

“From now on, just be more honest and open with me, okay?” as I watch him, I can’t help but wonder how I had gotten so lucky to meet a man like this, so kind, caring and understanding. “Yes, I’ll try” I promise the man.

“Honestly I know it won’t be easy, so I’ll wait for you to do it in your own time” the man is nothing but understanding, he strokes through my hair. I lean my neck into his chest, wrapping my arm around his waist and instead of speaking. The man lifts me up and carries me to the bed, and we snuggle up for the night, I felt relieved to be around him.

That next day when I wake up, Younghyun greets me. Once again the elder was up before me, washed and dressed. “Good morning sunshine!” the man greets. He explains that he would be gone for a few ours, he was heading out to meet an old colleague, he asks if I wanted to come along. I decline. After tossing and turning, I decide it was time to act.

I ask the elder for Jniyoung’s number, the man doesn’t look surprised but he does seem briefly hesitant. The elder does not have Jinyoung’s number, the man does give me Dowoon’s number. Aware of how awkward it could be, he still encourages me to call the man and try.

With a swift and sweet kiss on my cheek, the man heads off leaving me with the number of his best friend. The man who was now dating my ex, and so this was going to be an awkward call, I could feel it. I’m a little anxious, but I make the call. If I chickened out now, then I would never get it done.

Dowoon is quick to answer my call. The man is pretty calm and even throughout the call. Despite my attempt to exchange pleasantries, the man is straight to the meat and bones of it. He wants to know what I want, and feeling a bit up with my guard. He seemed cold towards me, more than what seemed necessary for the situation, but Younghyun had always said that it took the other a while to warm up to people.

“What for?” the man replies when I ask for Jinyoung’s phone number. “Well… There’s some things that we need to discuss” I internally curse the man for being so difficult. It’s not like he needed to know the details of the call, he just needed to say yes or no. There is a pauses before the man answers, he says he doesn’t feel comfortable passing on the number but he will tell Jinyoung to meet up with me in a couple of hours. 

According to Dowoon Jinyoung was busy, but he would pass on the message to meet me. So deciding to trust him, I head to the café that he had instructed me to meet him at, only to be faced with Dowoon waiting for me. Dressed sharply once again, his hair sleeked back and his robotic expression, the man sits at the back of the café hidden.

Jinyoung was nowhere to be seen, and soon Dowoon confesses that he hadn’t passed on the message to meet Jinyoung. The man seemed to where his trademark stoic look on his face. He didn’t trust me, and I only half way understood, I was Jinyoung’s ex but this seemed to go far beyond just petty jealousy, this seemed to be a strong disdain he wore on his face for me.

“I want you to break up with Younghyun and to go back to Mokpo” the man instructs more than suggests. “Why would I do that?” I retort defensively. “I didn’t think that you would, I was just stating how I feel” the man casually counters. “Why? Because I’m Jinyoung’s ex?” I can’t help but ask. “His flash in the pan, someone who was only there for a awhile” the man retorts without hesitating at all.

“Being with him for seven years, I wouldn’t exactly call that a flash” I try to reason. “I’ve been with him since” the man retorts. “He’s moved on and is happy” he tries to convince me. “If that’s the case, then why are you here instead of him?” I had to question the elder, if he was so confident in their relationship, then why would he turn up instead of Jinyoung?

“Hyung’s had a hard time since being with you and I have been the person to help him through what you put him through”. I scoff at his words; at what I had put him through? He acts if I had abused Jinyoung, like he had run away from me because I was some cruel abused. That’s far from the truth, I loved him so much and I didn’t understand why he had left me.

“Is that what Jinyoung told you? That I put him through what?” I was feeling defensive right now. “That’s none of your business” the man retorts, irritating me further. “If I’m involved, wouldn’t that be my business” I retort and it was true, he was acting like I was at fault, when Jinyoung was the one who had left me, with a confusing and nonsensical letter.

“Jinyoung… is mine, he’s someone who belongs to me!” the man just snaps. He seemed to hold this resentment towards me, yet wasn’t willing to even hear my side of the story, he was so caught up in Jinyoung.

“Younghyun is someone that I care about, I don’t want you to end up hurting him” the man continues to make his assumptions. “Who said I was going to hurt him?” I ask the man. “Isn’t that what you do?” I scoff, what the hell did he even mean? I wasn’t the one who left our relationship? Did Jinyoung tell you that?

The man ignores my questions, remaining stony faced. “I want you out of town and away from Jinyoung” the man says getting up. “Gladly, but I won’t be ending things with Younghyun” I hold my ground, I was in the right and Jinyoung was in the wrong and I could tell that Dowoon wanted to believe in this warped truth of him

“That’s not a problem, it all end eventually” it was less of a threat and more a warning. I sigh frustrated and confused why he had this chip on my shoulder with me. Was it simply because I was his ex-boyfriend? What the hell had Jinyoung telling this man?

Later that night I meet with Younghyun at the hotel, I’m quick to tell him that I wanted to return home. The elder tries to persuade me to stay, to try and enjoy Busan but I put my foot down. I tell him, he’s welcome to stay on his own but I had decided that I would be leaving.

It doesn’t take us long to pack and check out, our trip had been ruined by the sudden appearance of my ex. But honestly I wouldn’t be able to stay without being annoyed and frustrated the whole trip, so it was better for me to leave and get my thoughts in order back at home. Younghyun does pout to begin with at the trip being cut, but when I promise to return at another time, the man seems to calm down and we head back to Mokpo.

The man expresses his disapproval at Dowoon’s behaviour as we head home. However, he does hold some sympathy and understanding to his friend. He believes the way Dowoon had spoken to me, and his blaming me was wrong, but Younghyun claimed that Dowoon’s feelings for Jinyoung were very deep. The pair had known each other for over a decade and a half, so there was a long history there, one that I didn’t know of.

Jinyoung had never talked about Dowoon. Honestly he had never really talked about his past, not until I prodded and poked him. He had only ever spoken about his shaky relationship with his parents who had always pressured him into the church. His relationship with Jaebum and his time with the Il Proterri. But it seemed that there was so much he hadn’t told me.

For most of the journey I pretend to fall asleep as a way to avoid conversation with Younghyun. He was caught in the middle of this situation, he understands my feelings, but there had to be a part of him that was jealous. But he wasn’t yet asking the questions that I sensed that he had, and to be honest I wasn’t ready to answer them.

As we head back into Mokpo, Younghyun receives a call and heads to the office once he’s dropped me off home. The man seemed relieved to be called in, he would have had to leave Busan anyway, so it worked out in all our favours in the end. He had a lot of preparation to do for his case after some new evidence had popped up, so I say my goodbye and head home.

Feeling emotionally drained, I return home. Surprisingly, there is already someone there waiting for me. Dressed in nothing but a baggy shirt and some tight and well-fitting pair of briefs. The man was now suddenly a beautiful blonde, it suited him well despite his milky skin. He bares his teeth as he flashes me his trademark smile.

My heart flutters, I wasn’t expecting to see the man, to see my best friend. In his beautiful brown eyes, there was all types of emotions. There was a happiness that he felt from seeing me, a fondness that I had grown accustomed to. Mixed with that was some worry, he looked like was concerned about me and I knew he had returned for me.

“Your Tuan Yien is here!” the man says as he leaps into my arms. Losing my balance, I back track a little and hold him. Without think I reach for the man’s waist, and pulling him closer to me. I liked having him closer to me, more than I was willing to admit.

The elder explains that he had been in Hong Kong when I had called him, he had decided a week ago that he was coming back, but had rushed over so quickly. He had returned to Mokpo indefinitely, which leaves excited and surprisingly anxious. Wrapping my arms around the man, I try to focus on welcoming the man back.

After close to an hour of chatting and catching up, there had been so much to happen. So for a while we slip into comfortable conversation, full of gossip. Near the end of the talk, the man reveals that he was hungry. He hadn’t eaten much, so I offer to go out and get something eat. The elder decides to stay home, too lazy to change and join me.

With the order done over the phone, I hurry to the two to pick up our food from the Happy Café. When I get there, I’m immediately greeted by the sight of a face I wasn’t expecting to see again. But he was there, Jinyoung talking was with Hyojin, Changkyun. They were talking and it all seemed to be a bit tense. Changkyun had gotten quite fond of Jinyoung, so when he left so suddenly and hurt me, Changkyun didn’t take it too well.

Changkyun is the first to spot me, then Hyojin and soon after Jinyoung follows my gaze to me. The man looks surprised to see me, but not as surprised as I had been to see him. Last time I had seen him, I had rushed out of the hotel, unable to face him, but now here he was.

“Youngjae…” the man walks towards me, but suddenly and panicked, I turn to the front counter and ask for my order. I completely ignore Jinyoung and act like he didn’t exist, like he wasn’t speaking to me. Stood behind the counter awkwardly, Changkyun serves me. The man asks me to call him later, and like that I breeze past Jinyoung and rush out. Again.

When I get home, I let it all out to Yien. I reveal that Jinyoung was in town and I suspected he had followed me back. To speak, I wasn’t sure. Yien, is silent throughout, I can’t help but wonder what was going through his mind.

“Youngjae…I came back for you” the man announces, looking me right in the 1eyes. My heart skips a beat, as usual over the last few years I felt conflicted when around Yien. “I always return for you” my best friend says reaching over to stroke my face.

“That’s not a smart move” we had overstepped the boundaries so many times. We had sex and tried to return our friendship, but things weren’t like they used to be. Part of me thought there was a chance we could recover things, or at least I was hoping.

“When it comes to you when do I ever make smart moves?” the man half jokes. “I really like Younghyun, I want to make it work with him” I try to indirectly shut down where this was going, what I thought Yien was doing. “Has that ever stopped me?” the man retorts, not missing a beat.

“Then starting tomorrow, you sleep on the sofa until you can find a place of your own” I warn the elder. “Then we’ll have fun for tonight then” the man wiggles his eyebrows causing me to laugh more than I should.

“You know it’s not finished right?” the man speaks up, his expression serious. “What did I tell you about consent hyung?” I joke. “Hey don’t make me sound rapey” the man defends. The man could get carried away sometimes but he had never overstepped.

“Park Jinyoung, he didn’t come back just to explain himself, he’s back for you” Yien expresses his concerns. “He has a man” I try to downplay it. “He was literally married to God, but that didn’t stop him” Yien exaggerates. “He left me” I weakly counter.

“We all do things we regret, look at Kim Hanbin” the man continues. I sigh. I didn’t want or need this drama in my life. “Choi Youngjae, the moment you were born you were destined for this kind of life” the man knew all the drama I had been through and he knew that I didn’t want it.

“Nevertheless, you’ll still have it” that last statement leads me to feel a bit deflated. Yien continues to talk, until he notices that I’m not paying too much attention, from them on pokes and prods and starts to tickle me. The man manages to trap me in between his thighs, straddling my chest area.

Looking down at me from above, the man’s grin slowly disappears. His eyes are glued on mine, and just like that my heart thumps out of its chest. He had that look in his eyes…


	8. ...Us

“Oppa, after school let’s go out on a date!” the bright eyed young woman watches me with hopeful eyes. The young girl always had a way of being so vibrant, cheerful and chipper. That was why she so popular amongst the student body, or at least that was what I had taken notice of during my short time in Yeung Heung. I had made my entrance to the school at the end of the penultimate year in high school and had barely spent any time actually attending school.

 

My parents were not having it this year. It was my final year and they wanted me to graduate with flying colours. I could do that without having to go school every day, but still my attendance was the only condition on which the authorities of letting me return to their school. My parent’s choice not mine, I could easily live and succeed without an education. After all, I was good looking and intelligent.

 

Despite my lack of attempt to socialise and become acclimated to the boring and slow pace of Mokpo. Joy had latched onto me, where most understood that I wanted to be alone, Joy didn’t take no for an answer. Even though she had friends of her own, the social butterfly still insisted onto latching to me.

Since we had started on the first semester of the new year, Park Joy had been following me around with little hearts in her eyes. It was very obvious that the brand new student had seen something that she liked and she would be latching onto me, she was doing her best to break me down but still I wasn’t interested.

Even from a mile of I could see through her façade, the young girl tried to act like she was the one who was bossing me around. The rich daddy’s girl who could get her way when she wanted, but her softness towards people was very apparent. Along with her attraction to me, there were feelings of protectiveness to the ones who tried to attack me verbally or physically. She was sensitive to my feelings, more than I was.

It’s not that I didn’t have any feelings, but the little bullies at Yeung Heung were nothing to the people that I had dealt with in Seattle and even in Paris. People were inherently cruel across the world. It was full of harsh and unpleasant people who lashed out for the most foolish reasons, or no reasons at all.

Honestly I didn’t take it seriously, because I didn’t care about the people around me. Not enough to be in my feelings, and whatever abuse that I did get I could handle alone. I wasn’t interested, in engaging in the battle of the alphas. I didn’t care, the only time I did make any movements was to seduce the closeted homo kids. It was so fun to turn out the very outwardly homophobic ones.

I was a messed up person. My personality wasn’t great; I didn’t have many close relationships outside out of my family. My parents had divorced and my parents worked out of the country and it was just my mother and I whilst she was on a work assignment. They had decided that I would finish my high school experience in Korea and then afterwards I was free to do what I wanted for the next five years.

My father would allow me to do what I wanted in those five years, before I returned to my studies and then learnt the ropes of the company. I had been given a better deal than most children of the elite, so I didn’t have too many arguments against it. I was always going to have job security and within the family business, I knew I could slack a little bit and I wouldn’t mind it.

“Hey snap out of it!” the girl bright girl snaps in front of my face. Joy pokes my abdomen jolting me out of my trance. I had kind of zoned out, but I was back to the cafeteria waiting in the lunch queue. I wasn’t exactly a fan of what the school provided, but when it came to school rules, I couldn’t exactly leave the premises to get my favourite pizza around the corner. So for sustenance, I reluctantly took the food provided by the establishment.

“Anyway I was thinking we could go to the new movie complex they just opened up” not missing a beat, the younger returns to what she was talking about. Blah blah blah, her words go in one ear and out of the other. I had no intention of going out with her tonight, in fact I had already planned a night of drinking and sex with a nearby housewife and mother of two. It was the best kind of no strings attached, sordid, wrong and thrilling, I enjoyed the thrill.

Bored with the mundanity of my life, I had grown up pretty early. It was easy to say that nothing had quite satisfied me in the way that I wished and hoped for and so I went out chasing danger within in reason. I wasn’t doing street racing or gambling away my money. So I opted for wild nights of getting shit faced and adventurous and protected sex.

It helped that I swung both ways, a fact that I had realised very early on my teens and had come to terms with. My family was well aware of this and although my parents disagreed, they knew me and my nature. They knew that if they were unreasonable and tried to make me change, then they would only push me away and I was only too capable by myself.

There were a few lectures on being safe, generally done by my awkward hypocrite of a father. The man was fast and loose and yet he was always attempting to give me this talks on how to conduct myself. It was an irony that I tended to just ignore in favour of living a less complicated life. I would pretend to listen and just do what it was that I wanted, life was just that simple for me, well until that moment.

As I look out into the busy cafeteria packed with hundreds of students, most at in their own groups caught in conversations. It was all so loud and busy, but my eyes had settled on an empty seat near the entrance of the cafeteria, sat alone was a boy. He looked pretty fresh and cute, like he could be a freshman, but I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know many of the people in school and we’d only been back a week, so I hadn’t familiarised myself with all the faces around the school nor had I been a rush.

However, I start to regret my slightly reluctant approach to the people around me almost immediately upon setting my eyes on this young man. He was dressed in his school uniform and unlike most of the male students, he wore it as expected of the students from authorities. His tie tied to the top bottom, he had taken off his blazer and was just wearing his jumper.

The blue counteracts the soft pick tints across his milky white skin. He looked so cold and unwelcoming, from the outside but I could see through it in one look. There was more to this man, he was lovable.

My hearts thumping slowly picking up its pace the longer that I stare at this stranger, he was cute, he was precious and I wanted to be near him. I wanted protect him and make him happy. I didn’t know why those thoughts run through my head, I wasn’t one to think such thoughts but here I was enraptured by this man. My cheeks heat up and I get little headed, so much so that I don’t even take notice of my time in the queue.

Minutes later I found that I had packed my tray with food already and was heading in the direction of this stranger’s table. The beacon of light that was guiding me to a lighter life. When Joy calls for me to follow her to her table freshman friends, I don’t hesitate to decline the offer, before heading over into the direction of the beacon. I had no control over my actions.

The cute and lonely boy is the last to notice me, amusingly my choice to sit next to him does win me some attention. However, the boy is too busy scrolling through his phone, he hadn’t taken notice that a whole human being had placed themselves next to him. It brings a smile to my face, I can’t help it, I’m immediately smitten.

Ignoring the audience that we were slowly gaining, I focus on the sight in front of me. Up close the boy was beautiful, the moles scattered up his neck, another under his eye. I bite back the smile on my face as I inspect the boys face, I was suddenly so giddy. This feeling was so strange, but I couldn’t help it, it was like a natural reflex.

Eventually after a couple of minutes of patiently waiting, the boy suddenly looks up and spots me next to him. The boy looked surprised, as if he had only just noticed my appearance. Blinking repeatedly the boy watches me wordlessly, that it is until I ask him for his name.

“Choi Youngjae”, a smile spreads across my face. He didn’t seem nervous, or overly excited for me to be around him. He wasn’t desperate for me, he wasn’t pathetically fawning over me like the rest of the student body. He was just being him, I knew that I liked him. Shit, just looking at him, I knew just how screwed I was.

After a brief conversation I find out that he was a first year and he didn’t have anyone he could call friends. He had always been someone who kept to himself, he was an awkward loner but yet with me he seemed open and we had only been around each closer to five minutes. From the look in the boy’s eyes, I could tell he was surprised by that.

“From now on, I’m Tuan Yien. The person who loves you the most” I declare whilst slipping my arm through his hooking onto him. It startles the other a little and surprises those around us, but I don’t care, I had found something meaningful and I wasn’t going to look this gift horse in the mouth.

-17 yrs old

 

In only a few days I would say goodbye to high school life and make my first few steps into real adulthood. After two years at Yeung Heung high school I was finally graduating. The school didn’t really do anything fancy for the big milestone, the ceremony itself was quite demure. The couple of hundred senior students that I was graduating with would be gathered and we would receive our diplomas in front of friends and family.

So there wasn’t much to prepare for on my end of things, and so the weekend before this event takes place, I spend it in a pretty relaxed environment at home. The one-bedroom apartment that my parents had rented out for me during my last year of school. It was a place that I stayed at alone. My mother had returned to America to look after my sister, but it felt like she had gone back to make my father’s life more difficult.

The former patriarch of the Tuan household was remarrying and had a kid on the way, so things between my mother and my father were very tense. Despite having divorced and living away from each other, they bickered more. Like children with so much pride, they often tried to pull me into it, but I wouldn’t allow it. So for the most part, I kept our interacts brief, how was I doing? What was the weather like, how my photography was and nothing else, nothing complicated.

Any other conversational needs I had were fulfilled by my best friend Choi Youngjae. It had been two years since I had parked myself next to him in the school cafeteria, and as most people liked to tease me for. We had been attached at the hip ever since.

Within in the two years that we had known each other, we had gotten very close. And even as Youngjae tried to push me away, and whenever we reached the point of butting heads. I never allowed it to break us, we were stronger than that. My feelings for Youngjae getting stronger over the last two years, he had become part of my daily ritual. At some point I saw or spoke to Youngjae, and tonight wouldn’t be any different.

Youngjae was actually staying over, for a movie marathon. It was the end of the school year, so he had more free time and he spent most if not all of it with me. Although it was something his parents were reluctant about. The Chois weren’t exactly my biggest fans. I was too out there, aka I was comfortable with my sexuality, a thing they often tried to ignore.

They tried to ignore my sexuality, as well as their own son’s. But I was never one to shy away from who I was and how I felt, I wasn’t going to change myself or my family, so why would I bend over backwards for them.

The only reason I was even remotely polite to them and gave them the little respect that I did, was because they were people who had raised Youngjae. Without them I wouldn’t have the person that I loved the most in my life. But without them, I wondered if Youngjae would embrace who he was more.

Most of the students had seen our close relationship and immediately assumed that there was more to our relationship than a friendship. Sure they were right, but it had all come too soon for Youngjae. He had never been given a chance of living any other way, he’d kind of just been pushed out of the closet and was forced to deal with it.

To deal with the assholes, and their attempts to break him down. I had worked hard to try and reassure Youngjae that he was fine the way that he was. Youngjae was blossoming as the years progressed, he was different from the cute squishy kid I had met. The one who looked soft and cuddly, was now growing up into a fine young man in front of my eyes.

Yet still that night the younger stays over for the night. He would be staying over for the next couple of weeks and so as the day closes we share a bed. As we cuddle the conversation turns from Youngjae’s complaints about his assignments and workloads. To the relief he was feeling for being separated from the school bullies.

Youngjae tells me all his problems, he was open with me and never seemed to feel self-conscious around me. As he speaks my hands wander around, I hug the boy from behind and kiss his back. Youngjae begins to falter as he tells his story, and he goes quiet as I slip hand down his torso pulling down his shorts, up until this point there had been no complaints.

With my hands stroking his chest, Youngjae watches on silently. I pepper his neck with soft kisses, Youngjae briefly relaxes until my hand slides down past the hem of his boxers. With that, the boy tries to pull away but I continue to whisper in his ear to stay still and start to jerk him off.

“Hyung…” the words seem to get caught in his throat and his attention returns back to his pants. I start to stroke up and down his length, I keep going until finally the younger moans. I continue to stroke, but changing the direction and pace each time I feel Youngjae settling in my arms stopping only briefly to reach over to the bed side table for some lube.

“Yien hyung what are you-“before the younger can finish his sentence, I cover his lips with mine. Sinking back onto the bed, Youngjae reaches for my face and without hesitation he kisses me passionately. He separates my lips with his before slipping his tongue inside my mouth. It’s a hot breathy and passionate kiss, one that’s distracting enough for him so when I open up the bottle of lube he doesn’t take much notice.

Perfect for me, as I cover my hands in the cold liquid, I slowly glide it down Youngjae’s torso and back down below the hem of his boxers. Youngjae gasps I assume at the coldness before pulling away, he looks down and watches as my hands return back to his cock. I resume stroking his cock, this time it’s smooth for the both of us.

After a couple of minutes doing that Youngjae becomes impatient, the younger wrapping his arms around my shoulders, begins to thrust into my hand. His breathing becomes more ragged, all he can do is whisper my name over and over and that in itself is the hugest turn on. Slowly I reach my other hand back to his I give it as nice grope causing Youngjae to moan.

Getting my cop and feel of the younger’s plump rear, one of my favourite things on Choi Youngjae. I continue to squeeze and stroke at the front a combination which seems to be driving Youngjae crazy. His hands squeeze down on my shoulders as he tries to steady himself and then I pull away.

Youngjae doesn’t say a thing, instead he just looks confused. Until I instruct him to turn around and lie on his stomach. There is a brief pause, before he eventually does. While he lies down I take the opportunity to pull down his short and boxers leaving him nude from the waist down.

“hyung… what are we-“ the younger sounded so uncertain. So I lay over him, my body firmly pressed on his. “I want to fuck you…” I reveal. It was the truth, I did want to have sex with Youngjae but that had been true for the nearly two years that we had known each other. Still I had never gone as far as foreplay, usually on Youngjae’s insistence.

Things between us now were getting so hot and heavy, so Youngjae had three choices. We could stop here and pretend we hadn’t done what he had. Youngjae and I would probably have to go to separate rooms to work over whatever tension we had in our pants separately. 

The second option could be that we could go the whole way, we could end up having sex. Throwing caution to the wind we could give into our desires, I could be the person to take away Youngjae’s virginity. Or he could top me if that was his preference.

“What’s the third option?” the younger asks looking over his shoulder. My hand slides down to his length and I continue to stroke his length causing him to moan. “I make you come…” I whisper in his ears causing Youngjae to turn and watch me. His eyes searching mine, but he finds no doubts in my eyes. Whenever it came to him I was happy if he was. I wanted to give him pleasure, but I would only do it on his terms.

Youngjae watches me over his shoulder, there is a brief silence as the boy thinks it over. My heart thumps in anticipation, of course there was one thing that I wanted from him, but I could always settle for another scenario. But I couldn’t deal with being rejected by him.

 

-19 years old

It had been a few weeks since my return to Mokpo, and a lot had happened. In the year that I had been gone, Youngjae had somehow gotten himself entangled with Kim Hanbin. The son of lawyer family of Kims, he was spoilt rich kid who would eventually hurt Youngjae and so I had returned for Youngjae. I had come back to him after sensing something was completely off. When it came to Youngjae, I could tell even from across the planet.

On my return I found the young man in a state, he was really going through it. After being discovered by Kim Hanbin’s parents, the pair were having to sneak around and for a couple of weeks that seemed like it would be working for Youngjae. As long as he was around Kim Hanbin then he would he happy, and for that time I had to bite my tongue and just watch them.

For weeks I had been anticipating the end of their relationship. Youngjae and I would be heading to Seoul and I was just preparing for that. But a day after Youngjae had broken up with Hanbin, the other man had ended up leaving his family.

The pair would be starting a life in Seoul together and that was that, there was no discussion and to me that said more than Youngjae ever could. To him there was no need to discuss it, and so as he told me over the phone that Hanbin would be staying over for an indefinite time, I took that as a sign that I didn’t need to return.

“Wow Youngjae really is something? He’s getting someone like Kim Hanbin to desert his family” Hoseok comments. The pair of us had met up, truthfully the man was letting me stay in his house since I had been bumped away in favour of Kim Hanbin.

“You knew about this for a while didn’t you?” I reply suspicious. Hoseok nods with a smile on his handsome face. The man seemed to know about it longer than most people did, like he had known about it since before the bowling match where we had met. Where Youngjae and Hanbin had been openly showing so much affection towards each other. How? Had Changkyun told him? The younger hadn’t struck me as one for gossip.

“Probably the same way you did. You just saw it on their faces… “ the man explains that whilst at a party held by sidekick rodent Bobby, he had seen the way that Kim Hanbin had watched Youngjae. “He was glued to Youngjae. If the student body wasn’t so dense, they would have realised that Hanbin was salivating over Youngjae” Hoseok says with a chuckle before taking a swig of his bottled bear.

“So I decided to test my theory and hammed up my affection of the man” Hoseok continues on fondly recounting the story. “You should have seen the look on his face” the man says with a chuckle. Truthfully I wish I had been there. I could have stopped this.

“I don’t think Youngjae would have wanted this to stop. If he did, he would have called you” the man answers, making me realise that I had been speaking out loud. He did. He called me a lot, there were short calls, he said barely anything and that was the problem. But I knew the less he talked, the more I needed to be worried.

“How very perceptive of you” Hoseok teases. “I love Choi Youngjae with every fibre of my being, of course I have to be perceptive when it comes to him” I counter.

“If you’re so perceptive then you know in the end Youngjae and Hanbin won’t end up together” the man boldly states.

“Youngjae’s going to get his heartbroken” he says resolutely, like there was no chance his words could be wrong. “Honestly, we’re far past that stage, it’s too late to stop that. What you need to decide is whether you’re going to be there for him” the man states causing me to scoff bitterly.

Our run in earlier on, it made me certain that Youngjae didn’t want me there for him. In fact, even with me being there he still decided to choose Kim Hanbin over me, so yes I was a little hurt and in my feelings.

“Yes. He loves him but he loves you too” the man says it so certainly. “How can you tell?” I counter slightly irritated by how badly I wanted to him his explanation. I wanted to know what he saw that I didn’t.

“The way he watches you when he thinks you’re not looking” my heart flutters at those words. Was that true, did he do that? Watch me when I wasn’t looking? I wasn’t wholly convinced, I had been the person who had loved him wholeheartedly and tried so hard to show my sincerity, yet after a few months he fell for that rat Kim Hanbin.

“Do you think that means he doesn’t love you?” I guess I had been speaking out loud once again. “wish you could see it… the way he watches you” the man seemed so sure that there was something in the way that Youngjae looked at me, so I ask him what was it, how did Youngjae watch me?

“Like he would be afraid to lose you” I sigh, a little disappointed. Of course Youngjae is afraid of losing me, he only saw me as a friend. Because whenever I try and take it there, he’s always so reluctant. Last year when I had confessed my feelings for him at my graduation, he had been the one to reject me and ask for a break.

“Who says you have to be his one now? Youngjae isn’t ready for what he feels for you” the man breaks through my thoughts. “So what. I’m just supposed to wait?” I ask exasperated by the thought of it.

“Yes. If he’s worth it, you’ll wait as long as it takes” The answer heats me up more than I was expecting.” That’s bullshit! why should I be the one to make the sacrifice?” Why do I have to keep doing this? I could honestly just go to Thailand, Angola or somewhere and be with people who wanted me around. Wherever I visited, I met people who welcomed me with open arms.

“You came back for Youngjae” the man simply retorts. “And what? I’m just supposed to just watch him be with Kim Hanbin?” was I just expected to suffer and wait for that relationship to run it’s course? Hoseok from across his bed watches me, the elder was letting me vent to him.

“If you try to interfere then Youngjae might resent you” the man seems to know where my mind was heading. “Then I can leave” I answer stubbornly. “Can you?” the man asks not quite believing in what I was saying and to be all I didn’t believe it either.

All of this was all so confusing for me. I had spent the last year travelling, trying to get over my feelings for Youngjae. After being rejected, I had hoped that having my feelings out there meant I get some closure. How are you sure about something that I’m not at all? The questions come flying, and I find myself feeling the situation is more and more hopeless.

“Just trust hyung”, the man teases. “I have that gut feeling” the elder states oh so casually. I roll my eyes feeling nothing short of doubt, and lay down. Hoseok lays next to me, wrapping my arms around his waist. I didn’t mind this, even though our arrangement was more of a fuck buddy kind of situation, there were sometimes where I just needed the companionship.

The conversation moves from Youngjae to what I was planning to do with my photography. The both of us were in the creative realms and genuinely showed an interest in each other’s work. He seemed to understand, a lot about me, it was like we were on the same wave length with most things.

We go on into the night chatting, it’s hard for me to fall asleep that night but I manage once I shut all thoughts of Youngjae out of my head. So the next morning when I do wake up, it’s a couple of seconds before it hits me again. I was without Youngjae, and he was starting his future with someone whom I despised, I groan into my pillow at the thought.

“Good morning to you too” I look up from my pillow and find stood in the door way was a half-naked and grinning Hoseok in nothing but a towel. The man looked fresh from the shower, his milky white muscles looking spectacular as usual. With his wet black hair slicked back, I can’t help but silently admire the man.

“Get up, breakfast is on me” the man reveals that he had some errands to run for the day and he would like if I tagged along. It was sweet of him, because honestly, I was the one who was imposing on him, but I was grateful that he would be allowing me to come along. I really needed to take my mind off of Youngjae, and I had feeling Hoseok could keep me preoccupied.

Once I’m done with my shower, I get changed borrowing one of Hoseok’s outfits. The elder was a bit bigger than me so the clothes hang off of me, but not too noticeably, more like as if they were meant to be that way. With me dressed, Hoseok and I had to coffee shop owned by Im Changkyun’s cousin.

Changkyun was there working and keeping him company was his freshly new girlfriend Ahn Hyojin. As we walk in I see her sat on the counter whispering to the younger, from across the room it was obvious that they were flirting, it was lovable. They looked cute and in love.

It was surprising, the jealousy I had towards to Changkyun. The threat I felt, it wasn’t there anymore. Not when I saw the way he watched his woman, the little things he did to take care of her or his over protectiveness. He looked a little less tense than he had weeks before, that probably came with the fact that he wasn’t lying and sneaking around

“Eventually you end up with the one you’re meant to be with” Hoseok says breaking into my thoughts, and nodding towards Hyojin and Changkyun. I ask how he was so sure that they would even last, cause honestly they were still young, they could run their course by the end of year. A kid wasn’t a guarantee that people stayed together, my parents were proof of that.

“Because I know love when I see it” the man says with such certainty, that I believe it a little. Over breakfast our conversation moves onto Hoseok’s previous relationships, as loose as the other looked, he seemed to be someone who was genuine and caring to those around him.

In the middle of my breakfast, I get a phone call. It was from none other than Choi Junhyuk, Youngjae’s very protective older brother. Due to his suspicions of me and my influence on Youngjae, very rarely did we communicate outside of Youngjae, so I wasn’t expecting this. But still I answer the phone out of curiosity.

“Are you still in Mokpo?” the elder asks without any greeting at all, straight to the point and brusque. When I tell him that I was, the elder tells me to return to Jinwoon’s place immediately.

“Youngjae needs you” he says this part quietly; I could tell that this call was very reluctant on his part. “Kim Hanbin broke up with Youngjae, he’s getting married” the man reveals, to my surpise. I had only seen the pair early yesterday hand in hand looking very happy, but now they were over?

“What do you mean?” I ask the elder. “Youngjae’s been locked up in his room, we’re worried” the elder doesn’t answer my question. “Please help us” he softens his voice up at this part, he rarely did sound this desperate. I am a little hesitant. After all, I had felt slighted by Youngjae and now I Was being asked to come and pick up the pieces of his broken heart.

Even though they weren’t saying it in those words, that’s what it sounded like. Was I really that bitter, to this point that I was willing to let the one I loved suffer alone? Or was I so tired and drained of this all? that this was the only way I could save myself? I wasn’t sure at this point. I was in two minds about it, and once the call it takes me a little while wrestling with my conscious.

If the tables were turned would Youngjae be hesitating like this? The answer immediately gets me on my feet and running out of the café excusing myself. Hoseok is cool about it, promising to call me later.

My destination was Jinwoon’s place but before I get there I stop by Youngjae’s favourite takeaway shop. The boy wasn’t passionate about food, he ate it when it was necessary but in a time like this, he would need delicious foods to take his mind off the pain he was feeling.

Even if it was momentarily, if Youngjae wasn’t thinking or feeling his pain then I would do anything. So once my short trip for Youngjae’s favourite foods is done, I take a cab to Jinwoon hyung’s face. I would be the one to lure Youngjae out, and I wasn’t going to give up.

-20 years old

“Get me another drink” Jaehyung says looking from his barely finished drink, it seemed that he was planning to go in as far as his drink consumeption. When the elder had asked to meet up for drinks, I hadn’t expected for us to be getting shit faced, and after a few rounds Jaehyung was showing no signs of stopping, he was ahead of us.

Changkyun who had also come along as pretty laid back, the father of two was going at a pretty slow pace. The man was the responsible one, and I guess he would be the one to take us home if we did get too messed up. Youngjae had always rated the man’s sense of responsibility so I didn’t had too many concerns for the three of tonight.

Jaehyung seems a little quiet he was usually talkative, to the annoying point. But today he seemed quiet, he gets even quieter as Changkyun. When we had come he had talked about a hypothetical situation in which he had stab a close friend in the back after being black mailed and I was starting to wonder that maybe it wasn’t completely hypothetical.

With the normal talk box so silent, Changkyun leads the conversation mostly between the two of us. Our conversation talks about Youngjae and his sudden travels to Europe. The man was heartbroken, he had decided to leave Mokpo by himself to get himself sorted out.

It had been a few months since the younger had returned to the home he had shared with Park Jinyoung to discover that cowardly dear John letter. Initially it had been something that had concerned us, because after seven years together and all they had been through together. Jinyoung suddenly leaving Youngjae, it didn’t really make much sense to any of us.

Of course Youngjae was shocked, Jinyoung wasn’t picking up his calls or answering his calls which lead him to believe that there was more happening to the situation that just a normal break up. After all they were both drainers, Jinyoung for decades longer than Youngjae. With his history in the i protettori, maybe someone had come back to get their revenge.

It wasn’t until Jackson called a couple of days later that we got some answers, after the younger had fretted and hardly stayed up. The close mutua friend of Youngjae and Jinyoung who Youngjae trusted a lot.

So when Jackson revealed that Jinyoung was in Seoul with him and wasn’t staying long, Youngjae’s worries turned to suspicions. Suspicions which were quickly confirmed by the elder. He had called to express his disappointment in Jinyoung, for his cowardice in running away.

According to the police lieutenant, Jinyoung had been thinking about ending his relationship with Youngjae for months. The man had felt unsatisfied with his relationship with Youngjae and had grown bored over recent time. But after all they had been through and how serious their relationship was, the man had struggled over those months to end that relationship. He had been tormented, and it wasn’t until a month before when he bumped into an old ex, did he rekindle that relationship.

The story felt farfetched for those who had seen Jinyoung and how he had been with Youngjae, and see how much he had loved Youngjae. I had held back for so long in order to let Youngjae enjoy his happiness. I had given up on Youngjae truly believing that Youngjae was in love and happy with the elder. There had been a few shaky moments between the couple, but for the most part their relationship seemed to be strong.

Youngjae hadn’t seen it coming and none had the people around him, but according to a close friend and someone who was probably Jinyoung’s closest friend, this was all true. The fact that Jinyoung had been sneaking around behind Youngjae’s back, and was too pathetic to even be a man and break things off face to face.

It was a punk move, one that Youngjae didn’t deserve. Even Kim Hanbin had the balls to see Youngjae just one last time, even if what he had said was a lie, he had showed up and given Youngjae that closure face to face. It was something that Youngjae was having a hard time to come to terms with, he had put his all into his relationship with Jinyoung.

The younger had even become a drainer thinking that they would spend forever together, only to be betrayed and left for another person like that. I understood how hard it was for Youngjae, but this time round he was distancing himself from those that cared for him.

His travels had been something he wanted to do alone, he wanted to be alone and away from his friends, his family and me. So I had to bite my tongue and just allow it to happen that way, I had to be fine with the fact that he didn’t want or need me.

So it was stirring up a lot of emotions, I was mixed between concern and bitterness. I was bitter because whenever Youngjae needed someone to lean on, I was usually that person, so for him to decline my help felt like he was rejecting me.

I hated being rejected by Youngjae, it had been so many years and I had built up so many rejections from the younger, it was a wonder how I still even approached the man.

Was I truly a loyal fool who would do anything for him, just to stay by his side? Over the years, the answer to that question seemed to be yes. Now I was worried, worried about Youngjae and types of things he was doing to cope with his second heartbreak. The boy went all out when it came to the ones he loved, he jumped in giving it his all.

No matter how risky or iffy it all seemed to the outside world, if he loved a person then he wouldn’t even think twice before giving them his all. He had done that Hanbin and even though he had tried to show some caution with Jinyoung, when he finally started dating the man he really put his feelings on the line.

Youngjae had even gone as far as sacrificing his human life and had become a drainer. Youngjae had essentially become a drug addict from his relationship with Jinyoung and to be left like that, without any real closer, I was worried.

Whilst Youngjae was alone in Europe on his travels what would he get up to? Would he go wild? Would he succumb to his thirst in such a vulnerable state? Would he just sleep around to try and get over Jinyoung? It had worked that way with Hanbin, so maybe he could be trying the same thing? I didn’t really like any of those possibilities and I could just be overreacting.

For all I know he could be just travelling and doing all the things he hadn’t done since settling down in a relationship? But then an uncomfortable thought rests in my mind. Being Youngjae, the awkward shell usually took some time to come down, but when it did.

It always seemed that those around Youngjae fell for him, so what if he had gone across the world and fallen for another future heartbreak? I had to do everything in my power not to pack a bag and go after him. I was giving him the space he needed until he came back to me, but I was scared that he might not come back to me or ever need me again.

I’m sure he had no idea how I felt, Youngjae had always been dense toward my feelings. He always chose to believe that I was just the long-time friend who would choose to his side, and I was foolish enough to stay by his side and assist with that assumption.

Worse yet if is if asked me to come to his side, I would go running without any second thoughts. So what’s going on with these attacks? Changkyun asks pulling me out of my thoughts. I had zoned out, but it seems the subject had changed.

As I come round, the conversation turns to the recent spike in attacks by drainers. Changkyun was doing his best to manage it all. His pack was working hard to fight and protect the town but with the recent outing of drainers there was a lot of panic in town. He had his hard work cut out for him. There were more attacks from defiant drainers, ones who didn’t have a leader and therefore did whatever they wanted. Some were attacking the small village on the outer skirt of Mokpo which was full of the town’s fair community, a community with Jaehyung lead.

The fairs flocked together and generally lived in peace, but recently the attacks to their small community were spiking and according to Jaehyung, there was a reason. The man claims that drainers had only now become aware of the powers that fairs possessed and were looking for ways to acquire them for themselves.

Some of the drainers would try to kidnap and force these creatures into acting out their will. Unfortunately, defiance meant that some of these fairs were being killed. There was an unshakable loyalty amongst their ranks. They would not work for the enemy.

So with all of this happening, I was kind of relieved that Youngjae was halfway across the world not being caught up in this. As long as Youngjae was out of trouble, at the very least I could find myself feeling some relief.

29 years old.

It was my 31st birthday and I was in one of the most beautiful cities, with Choi Youngjae. It wouldn’t have mattered where I was, but the important factor of this equation was that my dearest and most cherished friend Choi Youngjae was there. Especially when it seemed like the younger wasn’t going to make it, he had put me under the false belief that due to his work he wouldn’t be able to make it. But according to him, it was a way to make the surprise just that, and I was far beyond excited.

Especially with how things had gone recently. My job was leaving me very bored and unsatisfied, there was no creative spark in me and I was tired of selling the companies whatever that work. It had been seven years of me trying to push myself and my creative mind, but for now I was on hiatus from being a magazine editor. I had worked my way up the rankings with my hard work and keen eye not only for the market and where it was going.

My opinion and work was valued by many, but I had grown a little tired and had decided to take a much needed break. The break would be a perfect time to embrace my on and off fling with Kim Minsu, a well-known photographer who had worked with our company on a few occasions, although that hadn’t been our first introduction to each other.

On and off on a few occasions we had hooked up, both working in Paris and around the same social circle. Of all the hook ups that I did have, Kim Minsu was the most naturally charming. He was an open book, but he didn’t feel like he was trying hard to be transparent, he just was.

We hit it off from the get go, our conversations go longer and longer as sex became more frequent. We would meet up more and I was definitely comfortable around the man. From the outside looking in, people who saw us always reckoned that we were a perfect couple for each other.

Except we weren’t really a couple. We were just friends with major benefits, and for a little while that worked well in our favours. But it seemed that recently the other man was unsatisfied with just that status. After a long conversation, we came to the conclusion that we needed space. There would be no sex or late night calls. We wouldn’t be seeing each other as much, and it wasn’t something that was sitting well with me.

“Hyung your favourite dongsaeng is here!” Youngjae announces at the beginning of my birthday. After a few knocks I had been surprised to find that the face at the other side of the door had been his. The man had dyed his hair, he was now a lovely striking blonde. He had no idea how good he looked. Did he really view himself as just a dongsaeng? Still so many years later, there was no answer that ever fully satisfied me.

Leaping into my arms, the man wishes me a happy birthday. The man had flown across the world to spend the day with me and he didn’t have much time to waste. After a brief chat Youngjae drags me out of my apartment, he wanted to see the sights. It was my birthday but he was the one in charge but that suited me fine, like a fool I would follow Choi Youngjae wherever. We start off our day at a coffee shop that Youngjae had gotten fond off when spending his time in Paris.

Whilst at the coffee shop, we have Youngjae’s favourite drinks and pastry dishes. The man gorges himself on whatever food he sees, claiming that he was hungry from his travelling across the world for me. As we sit to eat, the younger has a scroll of questions to hit me with.

“What happened with you and Minsu hyung?” the younger queries, I guess he’d noted the obvious absence of my ex. “It’s none of your business” I reply, honestly I didn’t want to speak about it, not with Youngjae but he ws determined. “I’m your best friend, of course it is” the younger replies.

“Best friends don’t need to know every detail, we broke up and that’s fine” once again, I try to shut it down. “Broke up implies you were dating, were you dating?” Youngjae asks. The look in his eyes, it was something I wasn’t familiar with when it came to Youngjae. “What If we were?” I ask hoping to get some more clarity.

“Well that would mean you liked him a lot” Youngjae suggests. “Quite a lot…” he adds, there was something about the tone in which he says it. “And?” I ask him, hoping he had a point. “And well… why didn’t you try to make it work?” the younger suggests, although he does it meekly.

“That’s not something you need to know” I abruptly reply, getting more annoyed than I should. “But I want to know” Youngjae replies surprising me.

“Why?” I question the younger, desperate to hear one answer. “Because I’m your friend and I want you to be happy with someone, you deserve to find happiness with someone” I cringe at the word friend. Somehow what he was saying didn’t match his expression.

“You’re one to speak, it’s been two years and you’re still hung up on the cop” I retort. “Who says I’m hung up?” Youngjae counters with a cute little pout on his face, one that sends me fluttering. “You’re not?” I challenge the younger who answers with a believable no, but even still I push it.

“Then those late night conversations we have, where you talk about wanting to confront him, what are those about?” I confront the younger, I wasn’t sure if he really meant what he said or if he was just talking big. “That’s me having questions, wanting closure” Youngjae meekly explains but still I was not satisfied, I hadn’t been satisfied in so long.

“So you’re saying that if Jinyoung suddenly came back, and he wanted you back you wouldn’t go back?” normally we avoided talk like this, but today I was going head on. I wanted to know that if Jinyoung suddenly returned, that he didn’t have room in Youngjae’s heart. Youngjae answers that he wouldn’t, the look in his eyes gave me some hope.

“Then you would just want to do what? Speak to him? Get answers?” I soften up on my tone, but still ask the questions I was curious on.

“Yes” he replies definitely. “I have a lot of questions, and when I think about it. I know that he did love me and care about me, and even if he did leave for an ex-boyfriend. I know that he had always been worried and trying to protect me from something. I just want to know what it was” Youngjae clarifies, but it only muddies up things from my end of things.

“Isn’t it that you just want a good excuse to get back with him?” I accuse. “No!” Youngjae defends. “No?” I question, hoping to catch him out now and close the door on my hope. “I… spent so much time missing him, but now… I don’t, losing him could never hurt the way losing you could” he says hurriedly, its like it suddenly slips out with that Those words take the breath from my lungs, I wasn’t expecting that.

Youngjae averts his eyes, but I can see his cheeks turning a cute shade of red. It was very rare to see the other blush around me, we had grown so comfortable saying whatever we wanted around each other. But when it came to Youngjae expressing what I meant to him, he seemed to always react this way. It was cute. I liked seeing him blush, and get flustered.

There’s a small and tense silence between the two of us, it wasn’t uncomfortable but there was something that wasn’t being addressed which made things awkward. I knew that if I tried approaching the subject like I had countless of times, Youngjae would somehow deflect.

Youngjae was still complacent with us just staying as friends, it was what he wanted and I didn’t want to disrupt the time we were spending together. Still it takes me a little while to brush aside the disappointment I felt. It never left me, it always quietly lingered in me. The fact that I loved Youngjae and would do anything for him was very obvious, but to him he read it as a brotherly or best friend relationship for his convenience irked me.

“So what do you want to do tonight hyung?” the younger breaks the silence, he watches with his macchiato in hand watching me expectantly. Would the younger really do all I wanted today, or was it what I wanted within his comfort zone? If I told him what I truly wanted him to do for me, would he do it? Youngjae watches me expectantly so I decide to take advantage of the day, it was my day and so I would do whatever I wanted.

“Let’s go shopping” it was late morning, so we could spend the afternoon doing some shopping, get a spot of lunch and go to the movies. It had been so long since I had done something so normal and fun. Before my sabbatical, I had been someone who worked around the clock and spent my free time vegging out or trying to exercise. There was hardly any fun to be had, unless it was going to the club, and it all ended up being draining.

Youngjae looks relieved by my answer, probably expecting more from me than just that and to be honest I was holding back. I didn’t want Y0oungjae backing up now, so for now I was just going to do the fun stuff he was comfortable with. I was going to get what I truly wanted for my birthday, even if it was for one day. It would be a perfect day with the one that I loved so much. So for a little while we sit and catch up whilst eating and drinking the foods we enjoyed so much.

The day flies by as Youngjae go on a half sightseeing and shopping trip. Youngjae is sure to get as many pictures of us as possible, and I gladly pose for him if it bought that bright smile to his face. The boy is bright eyed as he looks over the Paris that I knew, I had lived there long enough and I was taking him to the non-tourist parts of the city. Parts which the younger was just eating up, he expresses his desire if he could speak French to move here and teach. That thought gets me partly daydreaming about what our life would end up being together in Paris.

Whilst I lead Youngjae through Paris, I can’t help but fantasise about it. He really was someone who could adapt well. The pair of us could move to a peaceful village on the outer skirts of Paris and he could teach a class here, there were plenty of places that needed Korean to be taught. Youngjae was so amiable that the people would be charmed in no time.

Wrapping my arms around Youngjae’s waist, I lean my head on the man’s shoulder. The man had grown up so well, he was stronger and firmer over time. Ever since he had become a drainer, he had become colder and firmer but even still he was the person I still wanted to be close to. I could never keep my arms off of him, and over time Youngjae become comfortable with me. His hands slide down to his waist, he holds onto my hands.

The weather despite it being early March was warm, it was if winter had ended much quicker for me. Even still the weather was warmer for a spring day, it was perfect, more than I could have asked for. Just Youngjae and I.

Greedy for the other man, I ignore calls and texts in favour of showering the one I loved with affection. The way things were going, from the outside we must look like a couple. There were no familiar faces to make Youngjae feel uncomfortable and question us about us. He was relaxed and enjoying my affection, something I knew that he enjoyed, whether or not he liked to admit it, Youngjae enjoyed a lot of things I did.

The day flies pass, such is the way when you’re having fun. Youngjae is full of jokes and charms. He’s cuter towards me, his attention is fully on me which is very rare. I feel like I couldn’t ask for more, but there was one thing that I was lacking. There had always been something that I wanted from Youngjae that I rarely ever got to get from Youngjae. He cut me off because it was good for our friendship, but today more than any I was determined.

That night we settle into my apartment for a chill night. Youngjae seems surprised by the fact that I wasn’t dragging him out for a night of partying, but the truth was that I was old and getting bored of the club scene. This fact wins teasing from the younger, but it was all good if he was smiling along with it. I loved the sound of raucous laughter even as time passes by.

With plenty of food ordered to feed an army, and enough alcohol to fill a bar. Youngjae and I settle down for the night. No matter how long we spent with each other, the conversation never run out. There weren’t awkward silences, we had never really had those even in the beginning. I had always made sure of it, I would tease and make fun of the other until he burst and had no other choice but to retaliate.

With me constantly teasing the other, Youngjae became more defensive and in that defensive I got to see more of his wit. The truth was Youngjae was funny, he didn’t seem like the type. But he really was. He made the cheesiest, corniest and most embarrassing jokes. However, there were times his dark and more sarcastic side came out. The more he drank, the more that side came out. So for a little while, it’s just Youngjae and I just trading barbs back and forth, the atmosphere was changing.

Sat on my spacious and comfortable king sized bed, the tv was on in the background and Youngjae was telling an anecdote from his travels in Paris. Like putty in the boy’s hand, I sit and listen to the boy as he talks of his adventures. According there was a Parisian girl who had taken a liking to Youngjae, and she had become a saessang of his followi him around.

“It was a wacked out little crush, but she took good pictures…” the man explains that the young Taiwanese girl Chou Tzuyu’s infatuation went as far as her sneaking into his apartment he was briefly renting. The teenager tried to seduce the man, she was very determined. So it was up to Youngjae with his lack of French skills, to seek out the girls’ mother and inform her of what she was doing. The lost in translation ended up with the mother suspecting Youngjae of worse behaviour.

“Seriously, I had to show her a picture of us” the man explains that after showing the concerned mother a picture of the two of us, she believed that Youngjae wasn’t doing anything with her daughter. It leaves a question resting on my head, but the other doesn’t seem to notice and continues on with his story but at this point, I’m a little loose.

The drink had us both feeling relaxed it was the perfect opportunity for me to be bold with my actions. Reaching for the man’s neck, I slowly stroke upwards, playing with the hair at the base of his neck, something that seems to get him off his track of thought. Turning his attention to me, the man watches me with inquisitive eyes, he wanted to know why I was doing this, especially when I knew his weakness.

“Hyung…” the man simply says, there is nothing else added. He wasn’t telling me to stop, and from the look in his eyes, it looked like he didn’t want me to. There was lust in his eyes, his eyes were slightly hooded but I could still see how he was feeling. He wanted me as much as I wanted him. There was the attraction there, it had always been there

Over the years we had shared countless kisses and passionate make out sessions, some even in the span of his relationship with Park Jinyoung and Kim Jaeyoung. Youngjae usually liked to pass those off as drunken mistakes or moments of weakness, to him the fact that we had never gone past that during his relationship was never cheating. Something I would agree with, if it weren’t for the fact that I knew Youngjae’s feelings for me were deeper than he was every willing to admit. Or at least I had hoped.

Over the time I had known Youngjae, there were a handful of times we had slept with each other. Each occasion had been a drunken night that Youngjae had brushed off, in order to continue on with our friendship. Those times were spread out over the last couple of years, in between his relationships with Jinyoung and Jaeyoung. He minimised those events and I let him, hoping that one day he would come round to me.

Within in a blink of an eye, I find myself straddling Youngjae, my lips glued to his. I press my lips hard on his soft pouty lips, without hesitation the man presses his lips on mine and our heated make out session commences. Youngjae reaches for my hips pulling me closer to him.

The younger takes control of the kiss, sliding his tongue at my bottom lip. I could feel his tongue across my lips prying them open. His tongue automatically moves into my mouth for my mouth to greet it. Our tongues swirling around each other fighting for dominance, but Youngjae wins twirling and consuming mine. 

Vibrations travel through my body as Youngjae continues to work his magic on me. He is the first to break the kiss, as I catch my breath the younger kisses me down my neck slowly. Over the years, Youngjae had gone from the shy awkward boy whose first kiss that I had stolen, to this grown up man who was confident in his skills.

Youngjae peppers my neck with soft kisses, he licks and makes his way down. I could sense the tension in him, I could tell that this was the hard part for Youngjae. Ever since he had become a drainer, the temptation not to bite me had gotten harder. The man had to abstain, he didn’t think that he could stop himself if he started.

So to distract him, I grind down onto him. A moan slips out of Youngjae’s mouth, he looks up to me waiting for my next move. I smile, even though he was waiting for my move, there wasn’t any doubt lingering on his face at all. He wanted this as much as I wanted, I could feel it with how hard his grip on my thighs gets, I could taste in his kiss.

My hands slide down through his hair, then to his neck I give the hair at the nape of his neck another pull. It wins a moan from the other man, who lifts me up and then turns me over onto my back. Within the blink of an I find the man on top of me, he was deepening the kiss so much so that I couldn’t even think of the next thing to do, I was too immersed in the feeling.

Lacking oxygen, I start going dizzy. If he wanted to, Youngjae could probably go for as long as he wanted to. Drainers had better stamina, so I have to push his chest a little for him to get the message and pull away to give me an opportunity. As he does, I can feel his eyes on me. There was something that he wanted to say, but I wasn’t quite sure.

“Happy birthday hyung” that’s all he says. My heart flutters, this was all dreamlike for me. Instead of the usual excuses that I get from him, instead of pulling away the man leans to kiss me. His hand sliding to my ass grabbing the fondling. In our heated kiss I can feel his hard on pressing on pressing to my thighs. He wasn’t the only one who was getting aroused either. I was desperate for him, for the feeling he was giving.

My hands slide up Youngjae’s firm and toned body, though he didn’t feel as warm as a human, he wasn’t completely cold. He always felt warm to me, like he was my home. The place I was supposed to be, the person I belonged to. With that realisation my heart beats, I was really hopeless when it comes to Choi Youngjae.

The younger’s hands down my sides and to the chest up my shirt. In between his finger and his thumb, the man twists, gaining a moan from. I bite down on his lip pulling away from the kiss, I want to watch him do what he was doing. I needed to almost see it to believe that this was truly happening to me.

Youngjae continues to explore and fondle my body, he licks and sucks at my nipple whilst twisting and flicking the other. I groan, as the younger really takes his time in pleasing me. My breath becomes heavy, I watch him he removes his shirt and my own.

With purpose the boy strips us down, and I can see the different. Over the years my body hadn’t changed, I was toned in some parts and soft and squishy in others. Youngjae on the other hand was so toned, so cut and muscular that it was still a shock to me.

Over a decade he had become so attractive, the man was so good looking. He wasn’t just the cute guy I had first met, he was manly and sexy. I take a minute just to drink it all in. Youngjae doesn’t rush me either, the man was looking at me like he was thinking of me, and only me, it was always rare.

“Happy birthday” Youngjae says once more, before pulling me into a deep and lingering kiss. He pulls me on top of him, cupping and groping my ass, and I loved every second of it. I love every second of being with him, being loved by him. Because to me this felt like love or something close to it.

31 years old

“Stop it…” the elder reaches for the beer bottle in my hand, pulling it out of my hands. I sigh heavily, I had needed something to sedate myself from this conversation but it looked like I wasn’t going to get my way. My late night drinks session with my handsome older boyfriend, was turning into a heart to heart. Except it was mostly Kim Minsu doing the talking and I was listening, or at least I was expected to speak.

“You called me out tonight, and now you’re ignoring me” the older complains, something that I disliked hearing from the elder. Since returning to join me in London, the elder had been doing much more of that. There was more of the complaints, there were more things that I was doing wrong and needed to work on. I needed to listen less to my friends, to pay more attention to him, to spend more time and be more committed.

“It’s always the same with you, you call me here but you don’t really want me to be here” Minsu complains. We were in a crowded pub in the city centre of Birmingham. This was supposed to the pre-drinks, before we went out clubbing tonight, but it was looking less and less likely that we would get to that part. All the stuff that the elder had been keeping bottled up, it looked like he was finally going to explode.

“Honestly, I thought I could push away all these doubts. I thought that if I tried and I was by your side, you’d appreciate me for it, but won’t ever be enough”. I don’t bother to argue against it, if I did it would only ever sound half hearted. I was too drunk to be answering questions like this, I was only going to end up being hurtful towards him.

“I’ve been trying to be here for you, to be understanding but we all know that deep down inside you can't shake him” the man pauses but I knew exactly who he was talk about. It had been the person that haunted every one of my attempts of my relationship, he had been the reason my last four and now Minsu at five relationships never worked out

“You can't shake Choi Youngjae and the love you have for him” I don’t deny what he says. It would probably be insulting at this point if I did. Honestly I had never tried to get the elder to believe anything different. He knew from the beginning that I loved Youngjae, and it was love that for me felt like it was eternal. It had been over a decade and here it was still going strong.

The man reaches over across the booth, his hand in my hair. With a look of sympathy and concern, the elder continues to pet my hair fondly. He looks like he had given up and wasn’t even going to bother being upset anymore. He had given up on me, and I could tell that this was really the end of us.

“Go back to Korea, and be with Youngjae. Don’t take no for answer” the man instructs. He sighs heavily, before talking a sip of his drink. The man looked deflated, and I knew there was nothing I could do about it. I’d been actively trying to do something about it for the last fifteen years. The cycle repeated itself, whenever I tried to get closer to Youngjae and change our relationship. He pushed me away and I stayed away and in that time he got in a relationship with someone and I longed and yearned for him in that time.

It had happened that way and this cycle was getting tiresome. I was tired, I was done with being and feeling this way. There was only one thing that I could do. Minsu was right, I needed to go back to Youngjae and fight for what we always seemed to let go. I needed to fight for him, I needed to fight him to let me love him, I knew that wouldn’t be easy.

So that night, Minsu and I spend our last night together. There was no sex, no flirting, or fun like I had planned. Instead we just talk through some things that had always lingered in our relationship. The man was being more mature about this than I deserved, sure I had always been open about how I felt for Youngjae, but that didn’t hurt his feelings less.

The next morning the elder moves out of the apartment. He leaves a note of encouragement for me.

These years have been for me. Thank you for loving me. But your love only belongs to one person. Markjae fighting! Xxx

His kind words were more than I deserved, and I understood his desire to cut me off for now. I would accept that I had done wrong but I hoped in the future we could be friends again after all that’s how things had started.

With the end of one relationship behind me, I head to Korea to the one that I loved. As I travel back, contact with Youngjae becomes more frequent. He was dating some lawyer who I had never met. But from what I had seen, Youngjae was trying to like the other. He was trying to make things work. Their relationship was progressing and they were even going to the man’s home town to meet his friends and family.

Before things could spiral to the point of no return, I would return and make Youngjae mine. So once I get to Korea and to Mokpo, I immediately make my way to Youngjae’s apartment. The man had given me a set of keys as soon as he had moved in, even though I had lived across the world he still trusted me with the key to his place something that I would be making us of while he was gone.

The jetlag gets me for a few days, I’m tired and knocked out. My body tries to adjust to the change in time zones. But after hours of sleep reaching into the early afternoon, I am brought out of my sleep by a call. Despite being five hours in Mokpo with his boyfriend on a trip, the other had been texting and calling me still. Last night we had stayed up late into the morning just talking, despite being on a romantic trip with his man, I still mattered more.

Just that thought brings a smile to my face, whether or not he liked to admit it. I was definitely important to Youngjae, and that’s evident when the man calls me in the afternoon in the middle of his trip. His voice sounds a little quiet and distant, I could already tell that he was upset, but what about? I try to joke with him, he was more sharing if the mood was light.

“Park Jinyoung. I saw him”, I hear from the receiver of my phone. I am left briefly speechless, of all the people that Youngjae to run into, I had hoped it would never be Park Jinyoung. They had so much history and I worried that if Youngjae ever saw him again he would fall back into the man’s web.

Sure he left Youngjae with no explanation, but the man was charming and I was worried he would just pull Youngjae back in. I was worried that just when I was getting the balls to get Youngjae back, I was going to not only fight Kim Hanbin who I knew was lingering still. But this new guy Kang Younghyun and Park Jinyoung, my chances were becoming slimmer by the second, I was worried.

So I prod a little bit more asking questions, trying to gauge Youngjae’s mood. From what I could tell, he had been too shocked to even talk to the elder. But still I was advising him to. I was telling him to talk it out with the elder, only because I was hopeful that it would clear some things up.

The younger seems a little reluctant to follow that advice so I don’t push him. Instead the conversation changes to me, the man is surprised to hear about my split with Minsu. He had always championed our relationship, but never for the most innocent reasons. I knew there was more to it.

“Should I come to Birmingham?” Youngjae offers suddenly surprising me. He had so much to do in Korea, with friends, family and work, would he have really come all the way to Birmingham for me?

Well I had come all the way to Mokpo for him, so maybe he held me in as greet esteem as I held him. Maybe even if it was inconvenient for him, he would have still made it, something that I was really quite grateful for.

Being in Mokpo already, I decline the man. I don’t yet tell him about my arrival in Mokpo, I had plans to surprise him. I didn’t want him to be prepared for my arrival, I wanted to shake Youngjae and his life until I became someone who fit into it. I knew there was going to be a lot of denial, and I would have to push on through it. I had a bad habit of backing off, and it lead to nothing ever get solved because of it.

Youngjae and I chat and slowly his voice gains a bit more of confidence and solidness to it. I could only hope that he would follow my advice, and if he saw Park Jinyoung again that it would be to leave some closure between the two of them. But if things didn’t turn out that way, then I would be ready to fight for what was mine.

Once the call is done, I wash up and get dressed before heading out to get something to eat. I would normally call ahead and order, but I didn’t mind waiting to do, I wasn’t exactly busy and when I get there I find a familiar face behind the counter, belonging to old friend and owner of the café.

“Yien hyung, you’re here?” Changkyun looks surprised to see me, but when he looks at the petit, curvy and short haired woman across the counter from him he looks a little amazed. The woman had a cute kind of appearance chuckles as if there was a secret joke between the two of them, it was weird, but I don’t question it.

Coming from behind the counter, Changkyun pulls me into a hug as soon as he’s stood in front of me. The man gives me a friendly and warm welcome, before he starts firing a bunch of questions at me. What was I doing here? Did Youngjae know that I was back? How long would I be staying?

“I’m back to win Youngjae’s heart” I answer honestly. Those words win a smile from Changkyun and weirdly enough, there’s a spark in the eyes of the cute and petite woman whose name I don’t know yet.

“Ah finally!” Changkyun brightly cheers me on. “It’s been fifteen years, it’s about time you guys sorted that out!” the younger teases, pinching my cheek fondly. I warn the younger not to let Youngjae know that I was back. I was planning on surprising Youngjae.

“Okay, okay but know you have some competition!” the man warns. I knew this much. Youngjae seemed to be a magnet for men who fall head over heels for him, but I wouldn’t back down this time. I would force Youngjae to realise, that there was something between us that would never die.

The small woman who had been watching on as Changkyun and I caught up, clears her throat as if to announce her presence. The woman had an interest in me, that was nothing to do with attraction, there was something more.

Changkyun introduces her as Seo Hyerin, she lived in the neighbourhood and owned a law firm. The woman reveals that she was also a fair, she had powers therefore she was well acquainted with the supernatural alliance of people in Mokpo that had built up, that alliance that Youngjae was sometimes part of when things got tough for Changkyun and his pack.

“You need to be by his side” the woman suddenly says, it doesn’t really make much sense for me. “Choi Youngjae… his immediate future is going to be very rocky” the woman reveals, the look on her face says that she was dead serious. “You are who he needs” the woman says, holding my gaze. It was as if she was some sort of fortune teller giving me a warning.

When I turn to look up to Changkyun for some kind of explanation, the woman suddenly reaches and takes hold of my hand. As she does my whole body freezes in place, everything goes dark. Suddenly I start hearing a beeping of a heart monitor, when I try to get up and move I’m unable.

“Hyung please…” shivers go down my spine, I already know whose voice that it. Immediately I can tell that he wasn’t doing well, Youngjae was crying or at least he had been crying. I could always tell when he had been crying, even without seeing him.

“Please hyung… I need you” my heart flutters briefly, before I realise all of what I was hearing. I could hear a heart monitor, and some chattering in the background, it concerns me enough to know that I wasn’t in a good condition. Worse yet, Youngjae was crying, he was crying because of me.

Before I can try and force myself up and try to comfort the younger, I am pulled away. Through the darkness and back into the light again, and in front of me was Seo Hyerin’s face and a concerned looking Changkyun.

“Hey noona, in front of so many people. Using your powers like that” Changkyun quietly lectures the woman. But there was no sign of regret on the woman’s face at whatever she had done to me. Instead she tells me to take care of myself, before excusing herself and leaving the café.

Changkyun isn’t able to give me a satisfactory answer as to what it was that just happened only stating that she was a fair and that fairs were strong people. With that I decide that there were questions that I never needed answering, and I return to catching up with Changkyun as I wait for my food order.

That night when I return home, I get a text from Youngjae. Apparently he was working on getting to meet Jinyoung. I hoped it would be for closure and nothing else. Once I’ve finished eating, I settle down for a long night of sleeping, I was still a little tired from the journey and time difference.

My rest is a bit patchy throughout the night. I make use of Youngjae’s Netflix account and watch many marathons to keep me busy into the next evening. As I come out from a toilet break, I find stood in his foyer was Choi Youngjae, he was few days early and he looked a little drained.

“Yien hyung…” The man looks surprised, but soon that softens into relief. He seemed happy that I was there, as long as he was happy for me to be around, then I would always be happy to be around.

Closing the space between the two of us, I leap into Youngjae’s arms. I do it with such a force, that it causes Youngjae to lose his footing and he back tracks. But still the younger is solid and he finds his footing, meanwhile his hands find themselves at my waist. He pulls me a little closer, as if it was completely natural for him.

After a couple of minutes in his arms, the questions start coming my way. He hadn’t been expecting to see me, but he expresses his happiness for my return. And so I explain that I would be back in Mokpo indefinitely.

Sometimes does pass with the two of us just d catching up, there had been so much to happen. As we talk, I can feel my stomach was starting to eat itself. I was definitely very hungry. I hadn’t eaten much today, to lazy to cook anything, I had been snacking on little snacks. Hearing this, Youngjae offers to head and get us something eat.

With Youngjae gone to collect the food, I go to the shower and get myself cleaned. I spritz myself with something pleasant smelling, and dress up in one of my comfortable pyjamas, I had nothing special planned but then again just being around Youngjae was a special occasion.

Half an hour passes and Youngjae finally makes it home. As he enters the room, I can already sense the souring of the mood. Something had happened whilst he was gone, because he looked deflated again.

The younger reveals that whilst he was out, he bumped into old flame Park Jinyoung once again. He suspected that Jinyoung had followed him back and the timing did seem very suspicious. The man reveals that once again that he didn’t address Jinyoung again, so he had no idea why he had even come back. Youngjae was doing so much avoiding, was it because he wasn’t ready or because feelings lingered?

“Youngjae…I came back for you” I confess. It was after we had eaten and watched several movies we had settled down for the night in his bed. Youngjae was washed and dressed similarly. I decide to confess the reason for my return and be upfront.

“I always return for you” I tell him, searching his eyes for signs of interest. What was he feeling from my words, Youngjae had a good poker face on? Unable to resist, I reach over to stroke his face, unwittingly the man leaving me to feel a bit of confidence. 

“That’s not a smart move” the man meekly says. What he was saying was completely different from what his eyes were telling me right now. He was trying to warn me away, but something in his eyes was telling me to stay, it always did.

“When it comes to you when do I ever make smart moves?” I counter. “I really like Younghyun, I want to make it work with him” once again he sounds meek with his attempts to shut down my advances. “Has that ever stopped me?” I reply, not willing to give up, I always did but that never got me anywhere.

“Then starting tomorrow, you sleep on the sofa until you can find a place of your own” Youngjae gives me a hollow warning. I knew that he wouldn’t kick me, he could never turn his back on me. But even still his warning leavea little loophole for me.

“Then we’ll have fun for tonight then” I tease the man, wiggling mt eyebrows making the younger laugh. Success, I think to myself, just hearing his laugh was satisfaction to the ears.

“You know it’s not finished right?” I ask Youngjae. I wanted him to know what was ahead of him. He makes a little joke about consent in reply, but I had never overstepped so it didn’t apply to me.

So I go back to explaining that Park Jinyoung didn’t just “come back just to explain himself, but that he was Youngjae. The younger tries to down play my concerns. Mentioning that not only did Jinyoung have a man, and that their relationship was serious. (Nothing in there about how he had a man, but I don’t mention that).

Instead I remind him that Kim Hanbin was someone who had supposedly moved on, only for them to briefly get together years ago. Lord knows that if Lee Hayi hadn’t gotten sick, then Hanbin and Youngjae could have ended up together again.

Youngjae groans, he says that he didn’t want or need this drama in his life. But honestly when it came to Youngjae, drama was pretty hard to avoid. And after my strange encounter with Seo Hyerin earlier on, something told me that Youngjae would be going through a lot of drama within in the near future.

After a little while I can tell that Youngjae has zoned out of the conversation, a think he did when he wanted to avoid reality. So I poke and prod him in the chests, before climbing onto top of him to start tickling him. I’m sure he was overwhelmed with all that was happening, so for now I would do my best to lighten that load.

The room is full of Youngjae’s boisterous laughter; he is shamelessly laughing. His face turning red, the man continues to laugh for the few minutes that pass until the younger stops laughing. Looking down at him, my heart starts to race out of control, the feeling was back. I wanted nothing more than to kiss Youngjae.

Having taken notice of my silence the man below me stops laughing, his smile fades as he looks up to me. He was searching my eyes, trying to read the mood, trying to tell what I was thinking. So I let him know, I slowly lean down and deliver a soft and gentle kiss.

Youngjae initially tries to pull away, but I, trap him by straddling his hips and placing his arms on either side of his head. I continue to pursue the kiss pushing harder until Youngjae finally gives up, the kiss progresses further involving only of teeth and tongue. As messy as it becomes, it’s still exhilarating, and addictive.

Youngjae wraps his arms around my shoulders, lifting up his hips a bit and grinding against my front. I groan through the kiss, Youngjae was working me up and I wasn’t sure if I would last long enough. It had been a while since I had done anything intimate, and I was a little worked up, but if Youngjae was as receptive as he felt now, then I didn’t mind being the first to break, as long as I was broken by him.


	9. ...Get Ready

Youngjae's POV

 

“Are you sure about this?” The elder asks for the nth time. His eyes were so earnest, and the pout on his lips quivering only a little. Yien was stood in my doorway with his suitcase, asking for to change my mind. The man had been totally against the idea of moving out of my apartment. Claiming that he needed a free place to stay whilst he was on the job search.

 

However, Yien was against the prospect of staying with Junhyuk who had offered to let him stay at his house with Soojung. My older brother didn’t want Yien and I living together, he had never liked the idea when we were in college, and now that we were older he was totally against the idea. Funnily enough I was starting to see that his suspicions and worries were warranted, if only a little bit.

It had been almost a fortnight since Yien had returned to Mokpo, and he had been staying at my apartment that whole time. I had allowed him to sleep on my couch in the meantime while he looked for a place to stay, and quite honestly it had been the hardest two weeks ever.

Since our drunken night in which I fell and landed inside of my best friend, I had been putting effort into not letting it happen again. I had made a mistake and I regretted it the next day, not only had I betrayed Younghyun who had been nothing but good to me this whole time. Like a coward, I hadn’t told the elder about it, I was still in two minds about whether or not I should tell him, I didn’t have the courage to.

Unaware of what my best friend and I were up to, Younghyun had been visiting the apartment frequently. He had been very welcoming to Yien, although the tension that I had felt from before was still present, they were pretty much civil enough for my sake.

Yien was still as clingy as he had always been with me, he didn’t let up. Even when I had told him that I was not going to repeat our night of lust again, and that it was a mistake. He didn’t seem deflated or hurt by it, instead he had started pulling his antics with me. It seemed like he was determined to seduce me, something I was used to from him, but not to this degree.

Sure in the past, every now and then Yien and I had stepped out of the friendship boundaries. As teenagers as we had never gone further than kissing and foreplay, I chalked it up to experimentation and hormones and believed that our friendship was far too important for us to muddy it up with sex and so for some years I never overstepped that line.

Being in a relationship for so long with Jinyoung and for Yien to be in several relationships. It made it easier for the both of us to resist, what had always been in the air between us. There had always been a tension, something that we walked around on egg shells around. Whenever I insisted that our relationship was nothing more than friendly, the other man usually backed off. But now, he didn’t seem to be doing that, he wasn’t letting up, was he serious about his intention? I couldn’t tell.

“Come on Youngjae, if I stay here you’ll get all the blow jobs you want!” the man says taking another step close towards me. His hands slides to my waist pulling me closer to him, and briefly I let him down. I was so used to it, I was so comfortable being close with Yien, so I didn’t know how to resist his actions. Especially when I enjoyed the feelings he gave me, the fluttering that I felt in my stomach because of him. 

What I had always dismissed as Yien’s typical lewd antics, were now things that were turning me on. He was making it hard for me to concentrate, especially as he had taken to walking around the house naked. Whether it was to unnerve me, to seduce me or because he found it funny. I could never tell, but it was getting to the point that I couldn’t get anything done.

The elder reasoned that because he had sent me several nudes in picture and video form, I should be somewhat used to seeing him. But seeing it through picture and in a person, I was getting flustered and worked up well beyond anything that I knew of.

“Choi Youngjae, let your wifey stay” the man wraps his arms around my shoulders, pulling me closer. The man always had a way with his words, I could always be talked around. Whether or not I was doing something wrong, the fact that I was feeling this way when I had a boyfriend. What I was doing and how I was feeling was wrong, and so I push him away.

“Hyung, good luck with your new place” I try to put as much space between the two of us as a I can. I wasn’t showing any real emotion, I try and keep things simply friendly. To pretend that I was happy for him and his move. The elder still hadn’t told me where he was moving, only that he was nearby and once he was settled down he would tell me where he was staying.

So before he goes, the man leans in to kiss cheek and fluffs my hair before leaving. I do my best to hold back and let Yien leave. He was someone I needed to back away from, in order to live a normal life. And for some time, once Yien goes, there is a silence that settles in my flat. I try to keep myself busy for the day,

Later that day, I get Younghyun round to come and visit me. The man had a day off, and he had spent most of it with Sora, but with some time left over, he wanted to spend the evening. The man is quick to take over the kitchen, preparing us a dinner for the night. It was sweet of him, but that was the man after all, he was always so sweet to those he was around. He had a good reputation built up in Mokpo after such a short time. I was lucky to have him, to still be with Younghyun.

It’s not long into our time together before Younghyun expresses his relief at Yien having moved out. The man admits that he had been uncomfortable with Yien living in my apartment for as long as he did.

“You guys look like a married couple” the man complains with a cute pout. I try to hide the flames of embarrassment and guilt that I feel on my cheek. It had been so hard to act normal around the elder whenever he mentioned Yien. After all I had done something stupid and without thinking, I had ended up cheating on him. I was still in two minds about confessing to the elder about my actions.

Should I tell the elder that I had been weak and a little drunk and without thinking, I had fallen into my friend’s arms? If I did do that, I would only be trying to relieve my guilt, to feel better about myself. I would also hurt Younghyun’s feelings, he had tried so hard through all of my avoidances and immature feelings to get to me.

Younghyun had been so good and loyal to me and even in learning that I was drainer, he hadn’t even given up on me. I think about this all later that evening as I join the elder to wash up and dry the dishes. With his hands at my thighs, the elder pulls me close to him, his body pressed onto mine.

The elder felt so warm and solid, my heart flutters lightly just at the sight of the attractive older male. Lets leave this here and head to your bedroom. The man says, biting at my lobe slightly before whispering all the things that he would like to do to me now that we were alone. Especially with his wandering hands, it was hard not to get turned on. The man was a magician with his fingers.

Effortlessly, the man seduces me, and for the first time in a couple of weeks, the two of us connect sexually. It had been a while, since the shock of Jinyoung’s return and Yien’s surprise return, as well as our jobs. It had been almost impossible for us to connect in this way, and honestly I had felt too guilty to do it. I had just gotten able to look at the man in the eyes without puking out of remorse for my actions.

Yien hadn’t made it easy either, despite my attempts to try and move our relationship back on track to a friendship way, the man seemed insistent on seducing me and muddying up our relationship. It wasn't easy, trying to resist his advances. I was still going back and forth in my mind; I was happy with Younghyun. There was no reason to try and disturb the balance of my life. I needed something normal in my life, I wanted to not be involved in complicated romantic situations.

“So what do you think about taking a trip?” Younghyun suggests as he strokes though my hair. I was in his arms, after having sex the man seemed more relaxed and open.

“I know our last trip wasn't a success, but there's a pension on the outskirts of town. I hear it's really good” the man raves about the pension, one he'd heard about it from his work colleagues. When he describes it, I realise it's the old pension that Hanbin and I had stayed at before, fifteen years ago.

“In a few weeks, when work stuff has died down for the both of us. How about we re-do that trip and do it right?” the man suggests, his hand continuing to stroke through my hair. He watches me as I think about it, there wasn’t really much that I should be thinking about honestly. It was the normal thing to do, to take a trip with my handsome boyfriend, so I say yes.

“Excellent!” the cute man rejoices. “I’ll get that booked then!” he adds, before starting to list all the things he wants us to do on our trip. The man was so happy and elated, it was quite infectious. I had been originally wary about it all, but when around him, it was hard not to feel that way.

I let the man get carried away with his excitement for the trip and settle back into the comfortable pattern we had gotten into a couple of weeks before the return of Yien. With the elder moved out to his new mysterious location, it meant more time for my boyfriend and I. more time for me to focus on my love life and job.

The next day I return to work, back to educating minds. It was the least complicated part of my life, something I was desperate for was simplicity. So that day when I try to educate reluctant minds, I find myself getting back into the swing of things. I notice that not everyone is listening at first, but the threat of lowering grades gets most of the class on board.

Most of the class is focused, but I notice sat at the back of the class is Chaeyong and she is sat next to male student. The slight male, with his non school regulation blonde hair and his intense had been a sore thumb to most people. The young male in question was Kwon Soonyoung, a student who I didn’t know much about, he had recently transferred to the school and apart from the hair he was mostly under the radar.

In the middle of the class, I see them talking hushed. That ceases when I berate them for it, and soon they start passing notes between each other. Even through those actions, I can sense some tension. My suspicions are up; the pair had gotten close recently but they didn’t seem to be people who fit at least not on the surface.

At some point the pair return to hushed talking. Unable to resist I take advantage of my superhuman listening skills and eavesdrop on their conversation. Chaeyong was warning the male not to do something she seemed concerned, but from what I could hear and see the young man next to her was not heeding her words.

Whatever it was, there was so many things it could be. From relationship things, to a friend warning another about drugs, gambling or something even more dramatic. I couldn’t tell completely what they were talking about, so I take my chances during the break. I call Chaeyong to stay behind at the end of class for a word with her.

The younger seemed in a hurry, but I keep her there to talk. I check up on her and she insist that she is fine, and is working hard on studying. For the most part I could tell she was telling the truth, but I knew she was hiding something, but what it was I knew she wouldn’t tell me.

“Don't forget that I'll be dropping you off” I remind the girl. Though the girl tries to decline, since the attack weeks ago, I had made it my responsibility to escorts Chaeyong to and from school. I was worried about her and the kind of people that she was around. They were dangerous and if she wasn’t careful she could end up getting herself killed. So I was making sure to escort her, and her little crush on me ensured that she wouldn’t reject me.

Fortunately for me the day flies by after my chat with Chaeyong and in no time, I’m heading out to pick up Chaeyong from her lesson. As I head there, I bump into Junhyeok hyung. The new father had returned home from paternity leave only recently. We hadn’t seen much of each other so the elder checks on me.

Having heard from Younghyun about our trip being cut short, he had also heard that Jinyoung had moved to town.

“Dowoon is obviously upset about it all” the man comments. Honestly I hadn’t really thought of Yoon Dowoon since our unpleasant last meeting. I didn’t care much for his attitude, but I guessed that the man was probably under the assumption that Jinyoung was back for me. Younghyun hadn’t told me about his friend, other than Dowoon was displeased that we were still dating. That was fine with me, as long as Dowoon was five hours away with his opinion then I didn’t give a shit what he had to say.

“They didn't belong together anyway” the man comments. He was a mutual friend of Younghyun and Dowoon, and it seems that he had seen more of Dowoon and Jinyoung in action than Younghyun. “It was always like Jinyoung was there out of obligation” Junhyeok surmises.

“Don’t let whatever Dowoon thinks get to you” the man encourages me to make things work with Younghyun. He believes that the elder shouldn’t be counted out just because his best friend disapproves and cause my ex had suddenly returned to town. So I do my best to reassure him that things were fine with Younghyun and I were fine.

“Make them better than fine!” Junhyeok encourages, before heading off to the exit in a rush to get home to his wife and child.

Later on I pick up Chaeyong and escort her home. The younger was insistent that she was fine to get home, but of course I ignore her and escort her from the school onto the bus and from the bus to her home. As we walk through her neighborhood, she freezes up when I bring up Soonyoung.

“We’re just friends” she unconvincingly tries to explain. Sensing my disbelief, the younger continues to try to explain that she was simply friends with Soonyoung because he had no other friends. But from what I had seen, the young man had his own little fan club of underclassmen.

“He wants to be with me” Chaeyong admits, she reveals that she wasn’t sure if she shared the same intentions. “He’s someone who has a hard life…” she says that she treasures the boy as a friend, but things have recently become complicated. Chaeyong opens up to me about being worried about her studies, and when Soonyoung appeared into her life, he uplifted her. She admits he’s someone that she wants to keep around.

As she speaks, some of my concern melts away. Although the younger doesn’t answer the question of why she seemed so concerned about her friend today and why she was warning him to be careful. Before I can press her further, we are interrupted by an annoyed looking Kim Mari and her husband Son Hyunwoo. The man was someone who I had been familiar with, having met him through Hanbin and Bobby, always the amicable person to speak to, always laid back, a total family man.

Mari doesn’t waste time to berate me yet again for escorting her niece home, the woman still insisted on being stubborn in her hatred for me. Hyunwoo on the other hand was polite, he grateful to know that I was looking out for Chaeyoung, especially as I knew her circumstances. But to Mari, the fact that I knew about Chaeyoung’s status and was hanging around her made me even more suspicious.

Whilst Mari is open with her mistrust, her husband is nothing but grateful for my actions. He extends an invite for me to join me to their family dinner. Chaeyoung also agrees and asks me to come along, but Mari is completely against it trying to berate her husband who ignores her amused.

Amused by their back and forth, I wait for them to stop arguing before she declines. Hyunwoo insists that if not today, we should sit down another time for dinner, and maybe discuss some things that needed to be discussed. I was sure he was trying to figure out how his wife and I could bury the hatchet, but she was far too stubborn.

After saying goodbye, I head off back home to my night of mid semester test making. But just short of my apartment, I bump into Park Jinyoung. The man was standing outside of the car park near my apartment, I didn’t know just how long he had been waiting there, or if he was waiting for me.

The man was still so handsome, he stood in his work attire. In his black skinny jeans, a peach blouse and a pair of black sneakers. He looked as if he was a catalogue model, he was still so beautiful. He had been continuously handsome, since the moment I had first met him, until now.

“Hey Youngjae! You’re here!” The man approaches me, his smile as bright as the sun. It been weeks of seeing Jinyoung around town, but even still, I felt uncomfortable around him. We had a few short and civil conversations, but I had never stuck around long enough to go deep into anything.

“It’s good you’re back! I wanted to talk to you!” the man says, his voice extremely cheery and his friendships very serious. He was like this, it was like we were in a normal relationship, like the last five years that had passed by. Like he hadn’t left me for his ex-boyfriend, and that there weren’t some mysterious reasons to his leaving me.

Just the thought of it makes my blood boil, and childishly, I lie that I had plans to return home. As I am about to head off home, the man grabs me by my wrist turning me around to him. His face was no longer cheerful, he looked really serious and intense.

The man drags me to a nearby children’s playground. The man was using his super human strength, he was always much stronger than me even as I had become a drainer. The man had a couple of decades of experience over me, so I was never as strong as he was. So reluctantly I give up the struggle and I have to follow the man. Until he forces me to sit down on a swing, which he stands in front of me.

“I'm impatient, I've been waiting for so long to speak to you” Jinyoung says, as he cages me on the swing. The only way I could leave was to fall through the back, and I didn’t feel like doing it.

“You've been trying to avoid me for so long, and our issue isn't going to get solved like this” the man pleads me with his eyes. Sure I had been avoiding talking to him longer than a few minutes, but he had to realise why. He was at fault, he had really hurt me and I was still bitter over it. But I guess Jinyoung had gotten fed up and felt like we needed to talk.

“There aren’t words that can describe how apologetic I am towards to you” the man says, his eyes shimmering without tears. Those were the puppy dog eyes I had always fell for, they always swayed me.

“I know that you’ve had such a tough time, because of me and because of that I am truly sorry” Jinyoung he man seemed sincere with his apology so I hear him out, I listen to his explanation.

Jinyoung says that he moved away initially for my safety. There had been a threat against his life from one of his enemies. So whilst he was gone, he made it his mission to look for those enemies and eliminate them. He claims that he hadn’t meant to be gone for so long.

“Once I found Anastacia and Paulo, I was supposed to eliminate them and when that was done. I would come back to you” but he explains that at point, he had become so involved with Dowoon, that he didn’t feel like it was right to leave. Plus he had heard from Jackson that I had moved on with Jaeyoung and was in a relationship.

“I should have told you, and I’m sorry” he apologises once more, and he elder seemed sincere in his apology. “I did what I thought was right to protect you. I don't regret trying to protect you” he adds that bit, but he must sense the little bit of annoyance that creeps on my face

“Of course I regret hurting you…” he further adds, before going silent and waiting for me to speak. So I do, I shrug it off and tell him that it was fine. I’ve moved on now and that he should no longer hold any guilt towards me and I wouldn’t hold any bad feelings towards him anymore. I knew I would try, but I wasn’t sure if I meant that all completely.

“It’s a bit awkward isn’t it?” Jinyoung comments with a laugh, as he slowly backs away. “What did he mean by that?” I counter. “We were together for so long, so seeing you with someone else is always going to be a bit weird for me” he answers with a wry smile. The look on his eyes, I didn’t really know how to take it, was he just commenting, or was there more?

“Younghyun is a good guy, I always had that impression of him” the elder adds almost as if he were embarrassed. “You’re not going to wish us luck, or something cliché like that are you?” I tease the elder slightly.

“Honestly, no. I won't really mean it” the man says with his trademark mischievous grin. He reaches over to pet my hair fondly, and for the first time in a while, I don’t recoil from him touch.

“So now what? Do you go back to Busan?” now that we had made our peace, would the elder be going back to Busan? To Dowoon?

“No” the man saying with an amused chuckle, as if I had said something stupid. “You’re staying here?” I ask a little surprised. I had really thought the elder had returned for me, now this was saying otherwise.

“Yes, I have been transferred for work” the man simply replies, before looking past me into the distance, like he had something on his mind. Work?

“There’s been a hike in drainer attacks recently, they want me to investigate it” the man shortly explains. He had been waiting on some test results and decided while waiting on that, he would come to see me and try to patch things up, he had to return to work soon.

“So you be careful” the man goes into a mini lecture about the attacks. He had heard about my run in not long ago, and he wanted to make sure I was being more vigilant. He didn’t sound like the worried ex he had once been, more like a friend or brother, it was weird. 

When I get home I can't help but think of my run in with Jinyoung. If I were to believe what Yien said me then Jinyoung came back for me, but looking at his face, he didn’t seem that concerned about patching things up. Had he moved on from me? Did he no longer feel how he had before?

It was strange, because there was a sense of relief and disappointment in that being a reality. I was disappointed because it felt like, after such a long relationship, and a sudden break up, I had expected there to be more. But I was relieved when I thought of how complicated my life was already, I don’t think I have it in me to deal with more complications.

Deciding to brush off any thoughts of my ex, I head to the kitchen. I didn’t feel in the mood of putting much effort. I would just put a readymade meal in the oven and whilst it cooked, I would head to the shower. As I get out of the shower, I check my phone and find that Yien had been messaging me all day. Most were texts checking up on me, but the last is a picture message.

The picture is of Yien and Hoseok hyung, both were soaking wet their hair down to their shirt were dripping. They had toy water guns in hand and looked like they were having the times of their lives. It looked like the picture had been taken by a self stick, which allows me to get more view of the space they were in, it looked like Hoseok hyung’s apartment.

“Roomies christening our apartment!” the caption reads, along with the many emojis that Yien was so fond of. My mouth goes dry as I read the caption over and over again, Yien had moved in with Hoseok?

After keeping so mysterious about who he had moved in, it had turned out to be our shared former lover. It had been over decade since I had last slept with Hoseok, and I had thought the same about he and Yien. But them suddenly moving in? what about all the fuss that Yien had made about me?

“Roommates only, don’t be jealous!” Yien sends through a snap of a handwritten message. It was his beautiful handwriting. The elder had seemed to have read my mind and answered my question. But I’m left feeling easy, even that night as I sit down to eat. I try to think if Yien and Hoseok are the types to deny their urges in the name of their roommate relationship? Why was I so unsettled?

The more I thought about it, the more bothered I got about it. So I give up on exam planning and decide to sit and veg out in front of the tv. There was no way I was going to get any work done tonight, so I would watch my guilty pleasure tv and hope I could distract myself long enough.

Late into the night I get a call from Younghyun, the man was busy at work he apologises for not calling earlier. Since his case with Hyojung, he had been the go to man for drainers and their needs. Seo Hyerin was keeping him busy and so for the next couple of days I doubted that I would see much of him. But still we talk for a little while, the man discusses Sora and her suspicious behaviours.

Younghyun was trying his best not to be intrusive in his growing teenager’s life, he understood that as a teenager she would prefer that approach. However, it was hard for him as she pulled away, so I try to reassure him as best as I can. Of course I didn’t know if I could guarantee him that everything was fine with Sora. She was a teenager after all.

However, when I think about who Sora was hanging around with, the influence of Ji-eun assures me that Younghyun had nothing to worry about. My god daughter was smart and responsible beyond her years, Sora was in safe hands, safer than my own.

Before I go to sleep the elder confirms that he had planned our trip away for two weeks away, he would be busy with his case load until then but he couldn’t wait to spend that time together. As excited as he was, I feel flutters of guilt, I don’t share the excitement that he has about the trip. There was something bothering me, I knew what it was but I was so determined to deny it.

My next day I wake up with a splitting headache. I had just one more day until the weekend but in this state, I didn’t feel like going in. but I couldn’t really just call into work sick, cause my thirst was playing up.

Fortunately had a period free early in the day, I struggle through the first two periods of class and I go to see Changkyun and get myself some of the artificial blood that he had in stock. I rush over to discreetly quench my thirst. That’s if it hadn’t been sold out already, the man was getting more and more drainers in his shop.

With his friendly, warm and approachable manner, he hadn’t lost many of his human customers. Most seemed to trust that if he was feeding drainers, that they were less likely to attack humans and so it was a win-win.

Since Younghyun had won his case for Hyojung, there had been a bit more understanding towards drainers. Of course the situation had received some disapproval because of the adultery involved, but it also gave humans proof that humans and drainers could co-exist. That a drainers were still partially human, and that they were able to love and overall love won over evil.

“Isn’t it stupid?” Changkyun scoffs disapproving. “Haven’t any of them thought of the fact that if all drainers were bad, we would all be dead by now?” the man was never really quiet about his support of the drainer community. He had always been that way, even before he had found out my status as a drainer.

When I think back to the time I moved to Mokpo, I had worried so much about keeping my status quiet. In Seoul I had been surrounded by so many people who already knew, and it had a thriving drainer community. Things worked differently in the big city, I knew that back in Mokpo things would be different. Honestly they had only just gotten round to acknowledging the sanctity of same sex marriages.

With one fight gone and out of the way, there was now a new challenge for people. Although drainers overall had the same rights as humans, didn’t stop them from being persecuted and a stigma to be put upon them.

A foolish decision I had made when I was just twenty had followed me into my thirties. My love for Park Jinyoung had meant that I was now this thing, this addict, this person that I had never come to terms with. I had done it so that Jinyoung and I could live and love for a long time, and despite his warnings, instead of dying that day I had instructed Jia to change me if Jinyoung didn’t. I had acted so foolishly and it haunted me every day.

Naively I had thought that I would have my thirst in control in a few years of me becoming a drainer. With Jinyoung by my side, I believed that I would overcome it. I even had a small support system around me who did everything they could to help me.

Bae Suji, Yien’s ex-girlfriend who had been made around the same time as me handled her thirst so much better than I did. Despite only a few months, she had gotten her thirst in control and was always resolute about never letting it control her and hurt those who were around her.

Suji cared so much for those around her that she worked hard to keep herself in control. Jia and Jinyoung had even commented about how jealous they were of her; she was so much more controlled than even they were. Jinyoung had always said that he had struggled to keep himself controlled and had relapsed, so he had been a fountain of understanding for me, that was until he left me so suddenly.

When we moved to Mokpo, although I felt like I would be overwhelmed with dealing with my thirst. I took solace in the fact that I would have Jinyoung by my side for life, and so when I was struggling he was there with solutions on how to keep my thirst at bay.

Jinyoung would often read a situation in which he could tell I was about to lose it because of my thirst and pull me away from those situations. Thinking about it now, there had been so many situations in which Jinyoung had saved me from causing irreparable damage.

“You’re stronger than you think you are” my best friend comments. Changkyun was always supportive of me when I was ashamed of the thirst that I felt. “Dude. The fact that you can recognise that you need to quench your thirst is good” he was full of encouragements. “it means that you’re doing it the right way instead of running around in the dark, you’re trying to find the light” Changkyun had said this so many times as I despaired.

The man had the patience of a saint when it came to everyone, but when it came to me he was different. It was like he extended a different kind of understanding for me, and it worked both ways. It was like we were siblings who could tell each other anything and everything. Sometimes it felt like I was closer to him than I was with my own siblings.

“Anyway dude, about the whole drainer situation. I wasn’t really sure if I should tell you this” Changkyun pulls me to a quite part of the café, handing me over a drink of blood concealed in a pop bottle. The man looked a bit hesitant about what he was going to say.

“Have you met Seo Hyerin?” he asks suddenly. I nod my head, I had met her initially at the fair pension at first and the last time was months ago at Soojung and Junhyuk’s party. She was also Younghyun’s boss.

“A few times yes” I answer. “Well I kind of gave her your number” Changkyun reveals, surprising me. “What for? Well she’s a fair” he says as if it was explanation. I didn’t really know much about fairs, most of the fairs in town kept to themselves.

Apart from Solji noona of course, the woman was still part of that community, but the only difference was she had fallen in love with my brother and had his children. She was a very strong fair who could not only defend herself, but also protect her family.

She’s kind of weird, but she’s strong and she’s helped me out of a mess or two. I wasn’t quite understanding the relevance of this woman, I wondered why Changkyun had bought her up. He had never told me about any fairs about from Jaehyung and Solji, and that was usually because we had been involved in battle. So for him to suddenly bring up Hyerin and her powers, I was little suspicious about it.

“There is something she has to tell you, something that I can’t” Changkyun looked pained to be holding back. His words leave me suspicious, what was it that he couldn’t tell me?

“When you see her, be open to everything she has to say. Okay?” he pleads me, leaving me a bit uneasy, this reeked of complications. Watching the man briefly, I nod my head not really sure what I was going to be letting myself into. But I put my trust into Changkyun, knowing that he wouldn’t lead me into anything that could or would cause me any harm.

We chat briefly for a few minutes, before excusing myself to go back to work. With my thirst taken care of, I head back to school. I was a little bit better and so teaching for the afternoon isn’t so much of a chore.

The afternoon classes are a bit livelier. I decide that while being in a good mood, I would play games for students to at least alleviate their studying stress. I understood that as students they had so many pressures that they had to go through. I knew because I had gone through it myself, so within the confines of the curriculum, I come up with a quiz that gets all of the students laughing and joking.

It brings me great satisfaction that I hardly got to experience whilst being a teacher. Seeing student being happy and learning well, it was a rare gem of a moment. As I get the students to drop their social statuses and their cliques, to band together in competition. As cheesy as it sounded, the little bit of harmony I was getting to see was important.

It gave me faith in the younger generation. They were more understanding since my time as a kid, of course there were the trouble makers and even the ignorant ones. But overall the good kids balanced that out.

That afternoon after school I search for Chaeyoung, I would be escorting her home and would no doubt be accused of something suspect by her suspicious aunt. But I didn’t mind, not if it meant I could be sure she was getting home safe. It seemed that Chaeyoung didn’t mind it too much, although she did complain about

Near the front entrance of the school, I find Chaeyoung. She was in what looked like a hushed and heated conversation with Kwon Soonyoung. According to the rumours from the staff room, the young students had been getting close within several of their lessons.

Kwon Soonyoung was on most teacher’s radars as a misbehaved student, he had a tough family background and despite attempts to reach out to the younger, he seemed determined to lash out. His family seemed to let the young boy do whatever he wanted, both busy with their own businesses.

“Stop being like this, Chae come with me!”, Soonyoung grabs Chaeyoung’s hand and tries to lead him away. From what I can see, the look in Chaeyoung’s eyes as Soonyoung grips onto her arm is nothing short of frightened. I don’t think twice to split up whatever this intense scene was, I pull Soonyoung’s hand off of Chaeyoung’s.

“What the hell are you doing?!” the younger male shamelessly snaps at me. The startled young woman next to me immediately apologises on his behalf, she looked a little flustered and embarrassed. I didn’t know why she was like this, it was like she was this boy’s parent who couldn’t get her child in line.

When I try to reprimand the younger for his manner of speaking, although he doesn’t talk back, he does sulk and stalk off sending eye daggers to me. Despite being so young I didn’t get a good vibe from him, he seemed more than just a troublesome student, there was so much more to him.

“Is he one of us?” I ask Chaeyoung as we make our way to her home. Most of the journey home, she had been silent barely holding it together. When I ask if Soonyoung’s somewhat erratic behaviour earlier had anything to do with his status, Chaeyoung’s face pales. I guess she hadn’t expected me to piece it together, or maybe she hoped that I wouldn’t.

Chaeyoung defends Soonyoung claiming he wasn’t part of the dangerous gang she was hanging around before. She claims that he had been made as soon as he moved to Mokpo, and he had been struggling with his thirst. Most of the time he needed her around because when they were together, he didn’t give in to his urges and he behaved well.

“He’s not a bad person, but he doesn’t deal with people well” she explains that due to his parental situation, he was a bit stand offish to people. From what Chaeyoung had seen, she felt some sympathy towards him.

“Soonyoung doesn’t feel love and it’s hard to live like that” it was obvious that she was emotionally swayed. I understood her, wanting to see the best in someone. I thought back to Hanbin, how quickly I had changed my opinion of him the second he started showing me some affection. I knew from the first time that he hugged me, that one action could break down a person’s whole perception.

Despite this though, I do warn Chaeyoung to be more careful in the future. If she trusts Soonyoung then that’s fine, but that should anything go badly, then she had me to talk to and I would help. Words that seem to touch the younger as she leaps at me to hug me.

I wasn’t sure if this fit in the appropriate behaviours between teacher and student, but I didn’t want to make the situation awkward and embarrassing for the younger, especially over a hug out of school hours. I do pat her on the back to signal the end of the hug, and she catches on pulling away.

Chaeyoung’s cheeks flush up with colour and she averts her gaze, before rushing away in the direction of her home. I grin amused by it all and grateful that what happened hadn’t been witnessed by Kim Mari, I knew that she would have a field day with her accusations if she saw it.

Once Chaeyoung has entered her property, I turn and head off home. The walk to my place isn’t too far, especially as my speed and agility was faster than most. As I make my way to my apartment, I spot a line of teenagers stood blocking my pathway towards the apartment. The teenagers were chatting amongst with each other, on the outside they looked like delinquents, but I could tell there was more.

They were drainers, I could tell from the smell, there wasn’t a sweetness to him like most humans. The look in their eyes as all too familiar, it was the bloodlust that most newly made drainers often had in their eyes. I can tell just from one glance that these guys would cause nothing but trouble.

“Hey, that’s him right?” one of the teens pokes their friend for their attention, before pointing towards me. The friend next to him looks me up and down, his soulless gaze penetrating through me. I hold back the shudders down my back, this was going to be nothing but trouble.

“This can’t be! this old dude, he looks so weak!” another one of the teens comments in disbelief causing his peers to laugh. “Well if that’s the case, then taking him back should be a piece of cake” the teen with the pale skin and soulless eyes speaks up. He seemed to be the leader of this group, the one who speaks firmly, firm enough that the others around him straighten up, their expressions changing to be fully serious.

There are no other words exchanged before the boys begin to lunge at me with attacks. I’m immediately on guard, blocking the flurry of attacks coming at me. It’s all instinct, I don’t really have a great fighting style, I just do what I can to survive in most cases.

As I scrap against these few strangers, I try pay attention to their kind of attacks. I had always been warned that I panicked too much was too absentminded in a fight, so I stay calm and try to hand these guys the way I managed in my last scrap for Chaeyoung.

These teenagers were very strong, good fighters who were overwhelming me a little. With every punch and hit. The work together to punch and hit me, and take each of my limbs to stop me from moving. I try to wriggle out of their grip, and when I look to one of the teens, I shout for him to let me go. As I do, the boy’s eyes blacken, before backing away dropping my leg.

Almost as if he were a trance, the boy stands still in space. I take advantage of his sudden movement, I kick one of the other teens away until I fall to the floor. Using my speed, I get up to my feet and back up to my feet and get ready to fend off attacks.

As I do fight, I feel something in my side. When I look down, I spot a metal object that was stuck into my abdomen. I spot several of the teens had knives on hand, they lunge at me. I dodge and duck away, but the attacks are so determined and so they continue to hit me with blows, landing in stabs of their knives, pulling in and out swiftly.

Its not long before I am covered and drenched in blood. I feel some stinging, it was burning up. The more I bled, the angrier I got. Irritated, I lunge towards the people who were attacking me. I try to take away the weapons, I am kicked away and pushed to the floor.

“HEY STOP!” a familiar voice cals out. “Hey kids!” another voice calls out. When I turn I see Jinyoung and Changkyun approaching. Changkyun without hesitation bursts into form, and the pair rush to my aid.

The teens without thinking lunge towards Jinyoung and Changkyun, most attacking their natural rival the wolf. It was all hectic, especially out in the open, so I rush out into the fight to end it all. With the three of us, we are able to manage very swiftly to fight the teens. Some of the teens are easily taken out, whilst others realise the tables have turned and they quickly run away seeming to be shocked that they had been defeated.

Once the fight is done, I stagger back and Changkyun is there to catch me. The man keeps me up, and Jinyoung steadies me onto my feet. He lifts me up onto the back of the Changkyun. Together the pair of them carry me home. I try to decline their help, but they clean me up and help me out of my bloody clothes.

Changkyun gets the both of us a change of clothes. Whilst Jinyoung quickly pops out to get me some blood bags, I had lost so much blood. I wasn’t in the best state, but fortunately Changkyun was there for me.

The man questions why I had been attacked, and is a little unsettled when I reveal that I had no idea. He was irritated with how bold those teenagers were, but he guesses that they newly made. Many who were being newly made, it was making the town dangerous.

Worry is written all over his face, Changkyun explains that because the number of attacks was growing. The pack was busier, even now after my attack, they had swiftly cleaned up after us. The increase in attacks was making it hard for the pack to protect from the shadows, not to mention some of the pack members were actually getting really hurt.

Then Changkyun’s facial expression gets even darker, he reveals something he had never done before. That the drainer who had supposedly killed Geum Jiwon all those years ago, was still alive. Changkyun and his pack had seen it with their own eyes and what was even more surprising was that had become an ally of them.

Another confession follows. Changkyun reveals that he knew the identity of his biological father, he was a drainer who had grown up in Mokpo and also lived in Busan for some time. The man was bad to the core, but his mother had fallen in love with him, she had imprinted on the drainer early in her life.

He had already gone through the explanation of imprinting with me before, it just meant that your mate inks themselves onto you. The person you were supposed to procreate with, but he explains that didn’t always happen. There were some cases where the person who has imprinted falls in love with someone before they properly strike up a relationship with the wolf they have been imprinted on.

In his parent’s case, his father had imprinted on his mother but his mother’s love was only ever met with lust from her father. When he began to do things she found morally corrupt, he pulled Changkyun away from the man and tried to protect him from his father.

Changkyun reveals a story from almost fifteen years ago, when his pack had been lead into a face off against some drainers. The caller had pretended to kidnap me of all people, and of course Changkyun had gone rushing to see this person, this crazy woman he describes her as.

The woman had been a former lover of Lee Woojin and she had not only gotten the drainers in town to act up to lure Woojin out. When that didn’t work, she brought Changkyun and his pack out to lure the man. She knew that Lee Woojin had an interest in Changkyun and with his life at risk, then Woojin would appear, which had been correct.

“I don’t know, he had some sort of thing for my dad” he explains that Lee Woojin had promised he would be an ally for the pack and over the last decade he had not ever gone against that sentiment. But recently with the attacks growing in volume and Lee Woojin nowhere to be seen, he reckons that the time that he had bought up had finally approached.

“My dad is either coming, or he’s already come and if he has. Then we all have to get ready” Changkyun tells me to rest up and to be much more careful. But from now on he would be assigning me a few of his wolfs packs, they would be with me when I went out. Such a thing makes me laugh. I had just been with Chaeyoung to protect her, now I needed my own protection.

Despite my attempts to try and decline, Changkyun wasn’t having any of it. He had decided and there was no arguing on my end of things. So for now things would be a bit awkward and uncomfortable, but once he took down his father then things could return to status quo.

Changkyun obviously looks bothered, not that I blamed him. If there was a faceoff between he and his long lost father, he may have to kill the man to protect those he cared about. I knew he had a lot of responsibilities crushing him. He had to be feeling a whirlwind of emotions, I feel bad that I can’t help out, well not now, I didn’t know what to do.

Jinyoung returns with some blood bags, the man briefly checks up on me, but he doesn’t overstay his welcome. Busy with work the man rushes off, it was strange, that I could be in this state and his concern seemed simply to be innocent and not intense like it used to. It was really a reminder that we were really over. I sigh a little disappointed at the realisation, before settling down to rest.


	10. ...Old Faces.

The next day when I come to, I find that I had slept way into the next afternoon. I guess I had been more banged up than I had expected, I was always this way when I was healing my wounds. It was a hard process for me, especially seeing as I wasn’t habitually drinking blood. I was only drinking the blood I could get off of Changkyun to stave off weeks of thirst.

Getting up I find that all my physical ailments had healed, but I had picked up a banging headache. I knew normal headache pills would have no effect, I suspect only quenching my thirst with a blood bag would help me out. But before I head out to get a blood bag, I get myself washed up and dressed.

Checking the voice and text messages that had been left over the near day that I had slept. Changkyun had texted me recently, he had been concerned and wanted to come over to check on me due to the fact I wasn’t answering calls, but fortunately I text him in time not to worry him.

 

My parents had texted me to inform me that they would be out of town for a couple of weeks visiting a friend on the jeju island. That brings me some relief, if they went out of town and away from the trouble brewing, I would be less worried about them. Plus, they were people who deserved some relaxation, they had worked so hard to raise four children and still to this day they worked hard for us.

My mother and I have a brief text conversation, she checks up on me and my health. She guilts me into spending a weekend over at the old house, she claims that she missed spoiling her youngest child and wanted to do it if only for a weekend. Wanting to make my mother happy I agree.

The older woman had been worried especially with the return on Jinyoung not so long ago. She had been there for me when I was down and low about my break up with Jinyoung, doting on me and cheering me on. The woman hadn’t once lectured me on being with a man and how that had been the downfall, instead she had been sad herself.

Grown attached to Jinyoung, she had felt a sadness that we had broken up. She had been disappointed that we hadn’t made it all the way, and she wished that I hadn’t gotten my heart broken. Following that, she had become my cheerleader. Trying to set me up with some of the men from the church who had been newly converted.

Surprisingly Younghyun hadn’t called me, only leaving a couple messages throughout the day. He had been busy lately, so I tried to simply shrug it off and text him back. I didn’t want him to be concerned or feel like there was something wrong between the two of us, it wasn’t really weird, more like there was weird vibe that I could feel.

The last person to reply to is Yien hyung. He had called and messaged me the most over the time. At some point, he had mistaken the fact that I hadn’t been replying to him for annoyance for him moving with Hoseok. The man was stubborn, but he was still texting me. That was always the way with us, we could actively be having a fight but still be in contact all day every day. That was just the way between us, I guess we were co-dependent to each other.

When I scroll through my messages from him, I find that some of the messages were some of the typical nudes that the elder loved to send. Of course I admire them, although I should be stopping them, I can’t help it. How I had gone from being a teenager who would have immediately deleted such messages, to a fully hormonal adult who couldn’t control himself?

Yien is the only person I tell the truth. I had excused the fact that I had been MIA to working late and waking up later. It had been excuse that everyone who knew I was a sleepy head bought without a question.

However, I knew Yien wouldn’t trust anything but the truth from me, and if he found out at a later date that I had been lying to him then I would have hell to pay. I assure the elder that I was fine, I had healed up and would be spending most of my weekend to resting.

The elder is both concerned and relieved. He offers to come over to take care of me, but I promise that I was fine and I needed to be on my own to rest. Yien takes the hint and doesn’t push it. Unlike what most people thought of Yien, he was a person who could read people well. He knew when I needed him and when to back away.

Once I’m done on my call, I head to the kitchen and whip myself up something to eat. I spend the evening like I had told Yien, eating, being lazy and going to sleep. It’s a well needed rest, I couldn’t think of working today and so I would enjoy this day off and try to push all the big and complicated thoughts out of my head for now.

The next morning, I briefly spend my morning creating a lesson plan. I don’t put much effort or thought into it, it would be a recap lesson for me. Something fun and playful that I could get away adding to my lesson plan.

In the background I let the television play. On the tv for the moment between TV shows was a local news report. There was a feature piece done by Soojung, it covered her joining forces with Hayi’s company. It was a behind the scenes piece, and it would give Hayi the much needed publicity that her company wanted.

Excited for her, I don’t think twice to call Hayi and congratulate her. The mother of two is in a great mood, she reveals that not only would the piece be airing on the low-key channels, but it would be going to nationwide outlets, buying her a lot more

“Let’s meet up, I have an hour away from hubby” Hanbin had taken his kids to the park and they were doing their daddy daughter bonding. With some spare time on her hands, Hayi wanted to meet me. Something surprising but also pleasant, that after some time Hayi had really come to see me as a friend and not an enemy, it had taken so much work to get to this point.

Hayi and I meet up at the café. Jieun and Jikyu were in charge of the café today giving their parents an afternoon from the shop. It’s pretty quiet at this time of the day and week, so they’re busy behind the counter playing games and chatting. The pair had always been very close, Jikyu always followed his sister’s words and trusted and respected her.

We discuss the ad campaign she had done with Soojung and vampire Goo Junhoe. The campaign was working really well, and she was confident that the next year would be more profitable for her. From the look of her, despite her busy schedule, she looked so light-hearted and bright. She was all smiles, she looked youthful.

As we talk about her work she speaks about how she was working with Sung Kyung, she says she’s gotten close to her. As we talk, I admit there was a bit of distance between her and I.

“She’s super protective of Younghyun” Hayi explains, they had tried talking about it. “She feels bad to have moved on and is in a happy relationship. She wants the same for Younghyun”, it seems that they had gotten close enough to speak on their private lives. Even as far as airing out her suspicions towards me. My stomach drops when I think that I had probably acted in a way to legitimise those feeling.

“He had given up so much to be with her” Hayi tries to explain her new friend. I understood that, but if that was the case wouldn’t she treat me better? That was something that I had always wondered. Wouldn’t it be easier for us if we got on well?

“Well you don’t have the cleanest relationship history” she defends her friend. “You had one man pining over you for over a decade, well two if you count Yien and now Jinyoung is back in town” she adds. It didn’t feel like this was an attack, but more she was stating an argument. I try to explain that he’s not back for me he has a case to get sorted out.

“Do you believe that it’s just that?” she checks. “It seems that way” I admit that I thought he came back to get me back, and sure there some feelings of fondness there but. “But what?” the woman asks interested.

“Well it seems different, like he’s actually over me” over the last few weeks Jinyoung hadn’t tried anything with me. “Do you think it’s that easy to get over you Choi Youngjae?” she teases. I shrug, I didn’t really know how to answer that answer.

Sure I’ve had lingering affections with people. But now I was only with one person. And well I was having a complicated issue with a certain best friend of mine, I keep that to myself. If I spoke up, there was no guarantee that it wouldn’t get back to Sung Kyung and Younghyun and I didn’t want the shit hitting the fan, so I keep quiet.

“Hanbin and I are moving away” she suddenly announces surprising me. “Well, we had a long talk and I was certain to was going to be the end of us” my heart drops. I had long since given up on being with Hanbin. I championed his relationship with Hayi. I knew that it had taken some time and they had to go through some awful things, some of which I was part of before Hanbin realised just how much he loved her.

Sometimes Hanbin’s feelings for me surfaced again, if only a little but he knew to control them. In order to keep Hayi in his life, he hadn’t ever tried overstepping and rekindling our relationship. When I try to reassure Hayi of that, she nods her head as if she believed me.

“I know but, I feel like it’s time for us to make a fresh start… so we’re moving back to Paris”. The pair had lived there while Hanbin studied and it seemed that they thought it would be the best place for them to return.

Hanbin had contacts to work with in Paris and Hayi would be starting some work in Paris. She had hired Yien as the director of art and he would be working with Sung Kyung. The move would be in a week. Things had been so quiet on their end that I hadn’t thought to worry about them, but it seemed that they were doing something drastic to survive as a couple.

If they had to act that way to survive, then I would support them like I had been for a while now. I respected their decision and I wish Hayi luck with her move to update me when they do finally get there.

“Hanbin will visit you soon to say his goodbyes” the woman announces. “But we’re off in a few days and I just wanted to say thank you. If it weren’t for you, I don’t think Hanbin could have grown up to love anyone”. Her words were so deep and thoughtful, I certainly couldn’t give myself the credit or that. The way I saw it, his children were responsible for the kind of love that he was able to give, I knew it.

Hayi smiles happy to hear that, I was relieved that my words bought her that kind of reaction. She leaps up and hugs and pulls me close, I hug the small woman. It was a fond goodbye between the both of us, she was truly a friend that I treasured and appreciated.

After I say my goodbyes, I make my way out of the café, I bump into a face that I hadn’t seen in almost three years. It had been a pretty cold and callous meeting last time we had met; I was the person to blame for this.

Stood in front of the café with her stroller was Park Junghwa. The woman who I had grown up with and Kim Bobby’s ex -wife had a stroller in hand. The woman looks surprised and startled to see me, but surprisingly she was the first person to speak as she greets me. Unlike before her greeting was no longer bright, it felt a little cold and impersonal.

There’s an awkward silence for a bit before she looks down at the stroller wryly. I didn’t know what to say to her or where to start, I had been so wrong when we had last met, I was so apologetic. But still the woman suddenly speaks up, she was being civil.

Junghwa explains that she was visiting in town, and she here for Hyojin. They had been close friends, both having grown up in the same pack, their bond was close, as was her bond with Changkyun and apparently Bobby still. Divorce or no divorce, being part of the same pack made bonds harder to cut, they were close no matter what.

“Ah anyway… it was good to see you” she says finally with her trademark Junghwa smile. Bright and kind and enough to warm me up. The woman tells me that she’s going to head in. I can’t do anything but let her go ahead, what could I say to make up for my wrong actions?

As I walk home, I try to shake off my feelings of guilt, I get a call from Yien. The older calls me to come over. He said he had cooked for me and he wanted me to come over and we could share a mean.

It was very rare that Yien ever cooked, and that was the cruelty of it all. Yien was actually secretly a domestic god, he could cook and clean better than anyone I had ever known. When we had lived together, the man had kept the house clean without any complaints. Of course I wanted to help him out, but still he never shouted at me or made a point of being mad at me for ever messing up.

On the rare days he was in the house, the man would decide to cook for the both of us and each and every time he did I ascended to heaven. So even though things were awkward for me since we had slept together a couple of weeks ago, it wasn’t enough for me to decline. Afterall, I missed him.

When I get to his shared place with Hoseok, I am greeted by the original owner of the small maisonette located in one of the safer neighbourhoods in town. It wasn’t that far by bus from where I lived or from the café. I could probably walk it had I not been so impatient to see Yien, but when I get there, I’m greeted by not only Yien but Hoseok.

The eldest amongst is his usual laid back and bright self, he greets me with a hug and offers to get me a drink. Meanwhile Yien is already showing off about the feast he made as he leads me into their maisonette. On the bottom floor was their living room and kitchen area, it was a wide space. With wood floor and rouge coloured walls, it was a definitely a stylish but comfortable set up. I could see some splashes of Yien’s personality through the apartment.

Despite not being there that long, it looked like the elder had settled in well and was comfortable. He and Hoseok were getting along well, they seemed too comfortable around each other.

They had been like this in the beginning, even when we were younger, from their first meeting the chemistry was there. If there were ever anyone to understand Yien, it would be someone like Hoseok. The other man was a good guy too, he had always been consistently on the side of good. Never had I ever seen make a bad move, or do something bad.

So as a friend, I really should be encouraging Yien to try things out with a guy like Hoseok they were so well matched in looks, personality and humour but still I was struggling. I had to admit that I was jealous. I had always been jealous of anyone Yien got on that well with.

Over dinner the Hoseok brings up Junghwa’s sudden return. The man had seen her earlier and they had briefly chatted.

“She had a baby with her, it was hers” he confirms striking the babysitting scenario that I had written up in my head. “Hers and Bobby's?” Yien asks more curious than I had expected him to be. Hoseok shakes his. “How old is he?” the question leaves my mouth.

“She said he was around two or three years old” Hoseok says oh so casually. My heart drops before it begins to really race. “She says it was some guy she was dating briefly after Bobby” Hoseok says unaware of the little heart attack I was going through.

Yien was watching me closely, he knew how I had fucked up but did he know how worried I had been. I think back to her words; she had said back then she was in a relationship with someone but she never told me who.

Well I guess she had been busy all this time raising a child, she probably had no time to even think about me. I was so foolish to even think that she'd be concerned about me, it was a typical Choi Youngjae overreaction. I breathe a sigh of relief and tuck into Yien’s delicious meal.

Later that afternoon Hoseok leaves Yien and to wash and dry the dishes. He was popping out to chat to a friend briefly. As I soak one of the plates, Yien stands behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist.

“You look so cute today” the man whispers in my ears, sending shivers down my neck. Foolishly I stay still, I wasn’t even denying things even more. When I turn around, I watch Yien, I can’t shake the feeling that I have. My heart was fluttering. Ever since we had slept together, there some unresolved feelings that were up in the air for me. I wanted his friendship, but there are more things there.

“Youngjae I missed you” it hadn’t even been that long since I had last seen him, but I felt the same. The man whispers in my ear his words send chills down my spine. I didn’t want to feel this way, especially when I was someone who had a boyfriend. I had never done this before, normally I had been able to control myself when in a relationship.

“Did you tell Younghyun about…” Yien asks, I can almost hear him grinning. When I turn to face him the grin is wide and bright, his canines sparkly along with the mischief in his eyes.

He knew that I wouldn’t tell Younghyun, it had been a slip up and I didn’t want to hurt the other man because of a momentary lapse.

“Momentary? That night didn’t feel like a momentary thing” Yien teases, his hands were at my waist firmly. “I told you… we had too much to drink and I was out of line” I try to put my guard but its futile with Yien.

“Is that what you believe?” Yien closes the space between until his chest on mine. His eyes are searing through me, he could see through me. But did he know how confused I was by all of this. I was so confused.

No matter how many signs there had been that this could happen, I still hadn’t expected it. I had always tried to brush aside the sexual events that had happened between us. I had tried to chalk it up to drink, or hormones. But here I was, in the kitchen covered in soap suds faced off by my best friend. I had deeper feelings for Yien, but still there was something holding me back. It had always been the thing that held me back.

Yien cups my face, breaking me out of my trance like state. “I’ll wait for you Youngjae” he promises; I knew he meant his words. “I won’t be letting you push me away” he adds. With those words, I knew that I was done for. I could always rely on Yien backing away when I rejected him, but here he was, not backing down.

There is a brief pause as I don’t answer, I know how I want to feel. I want to be unaffected, but that’s not true to reality. Yien after what feels like an age of searching my eyes, finally leans in to kiss me. His lips meet with mine, and as he does I close my eyes accepting the kiss.

As frustrated as I was for how weak I was being in this moment, I still couldn’t help myself melting into the kiss. It’s a hasty and heated kiss, enough to have me weak at the knees, but addictive enough to have me wanting more, longing for more.

When Yien slowly pulls away, he must see the disappointment on my face because he’s soon grinning. I was foolish for this, but my heart flutters just staring at the man. It was the man that I had known for over a decade, it was like I was seeing him anew. He wasn’t just the over the flamboyant and flippant hyung who for so many years I had relied on.

Leaning in again Yien lets his lips hover over mine, before he plants a soft kiss onto me. My eyes flutter close at the pleasurable sensation, the man grips the back of my neck before pulling me into a deeper and more sensual kiss. With my eyes closed, I feel blind in more than one way. I let the elder guide me deeper and deeper into a passionate clinch.

My hands slide down Yien’s back, to his ass. I squeeze as and as I do, the man moans through our kiss. He rubs his groin against mine, bringing a little friction between the two of us.

Once again Yien slowly pulls away from the kiss, but this time he sloppily leaves kisses down from my lips, to my chin and down my neck. I wanted so badly to be able to pull away, mentally I wish I was strong enough. But my body stays still in position waiting for Yien to make his move. He cups my face stroking my face, my heart races out of control.

“Is it safe to come in?” Hoseok says breaking the tension between Yien and I. Pulling away, I turn and find stood in the door way was not only Hoseok, but also Park Jinyoung. Neither of them looked shocked, but there was an element of amusement which didn’t make me too comfortable. He explains that he and Jinyoung have been getting quite close, and that they were working on the same case.

Flustered and embarrassed, I excuse myself and rush all the way out. Jinyoung who had been there to collect some paper work from Hoseok, follows me out of the apartment. After my attack the other day the elder insists on escorting me to work.

“Can we have dinner?” The man suddenly suggests. In my defense I tell him that I’m dating someone. “It didn’t look like it earlier” the man counters and teases. “Yien and I are friends, you know that” I try to argue although it seemed a little weak in the face of what he had walked in on earlier.

“I’ve never known that to be true” Jinyoung counters. “You’ve always just assumed that’s what I thought” the man delivers with a smirk. “Anyone with eyes can tell that there’s something going on between you and Yien” Jinyoung continues on.

“Why did you never do anything about it if you felt that way?” I ask the elder feeling a little defensive. “What could I do? You would never give up him up” my heart drops, Jinyoung had never ever spoke about this. “Even when he was across the planet, you still talked to him every day. When you woke up he was the first person you texted, and he last person you talked to before you went to sleep” it had never been like that.

“So that’s what made leaving me easier?” I was deflecting, I knew I was in the wrong, so I deflected. “It wasn’t easy leaving you Youngjae, it was painful at first but now… I’ve come to think it was for the best” he calmly explains. I try to avoid talking about it further. There were still some things were unresolved.

“Anyway, the reason I wanted us to meet up for dinner was for us to discuss my case. Changkyun and Hoseok should come along too” the man wanted to figure out a plan of action. The man believed that as some of the stronger supernatural creatures, we would meet up to talk about what we knew and if we could come up with a solution.

With everything becoming more dangerous for me, I was concerned about the people I care about. So I agree, it would work hard and be vigilant to try and protect them, I needed to protect them.

Things have gotten really intense, there are suspicious things happening, there’s trouble brewing and we have to be prepared. “Okay, well talk to Hoseok through it”, I say before quickly excusing myself to leave, but I can still hear Jinyoung chuckling a little in the background. I see the man was still watching me as I get into my apartment building.

When I get home, my plan is to sit down and relax. I had a busy weekend and my mind felt all over the place. I was a little stressed and I just needed sometime to myself. Once my thoughts were in order, maybe I could put together a plan to make my life less complicated. Before I was going to do that, I planned to get washed, dressed and in bed for the night.

However as soon as I step into my apartment, I can already sense that something was off immediately. Nothing was out of place, the place looked tidier, cleaner, and shinier. That was the first sign that something was off, not that I was messy or anything. But just the state of the apartment was far above my standards, so I walk in slowly with my guard up.

When I check the whole apartment, I see it is completely clean and buffed from head to toes. Someone has definitely been in my apartment, they have been and gone and touched things in my apartment. So I decide to call the first person who I thought might have come through my apartment and done something like this. 

There is a little bit longer of ring than normal. Even when the other was busy, he still managed to pick up the phone pretty quickly. So I start to worry as the phone just continues to dial out and into his voicemail.

If I was worried before, that concern skyrockets when the voice on his voicemail does not belong to his. It was a woman; the voice was one that I did recognise. It was a woman that felt like I knew, but I couldn’t pinpoint. It was not his daughter or even his ex-wife. I can even tell it's not Hyerin, but whoever it is leaves me worried.

“Choi Youngjae is that you?” the voice calls out through the message. “We found your cute boyfriend at the apartment, we decided to take him somewhere” my heart drops. “We actually cleaned your place too, it was a little messy in our scuffle, so to make it up for you” the woman says with a chuckle which leaves me in a cold sweat.

“Wait in half an hour, and we’ll call you to tell you where we are. If you want your boyfriend back home and safe in your arms, then you’ll have to come with us”. The woman warns me to not involve any cops, or else she would put harm to Younghyun. “Hr might become a little blood bag for all of us” she coldly threatens. As she says those words, I feel some chills down my spine. Younghyun was in danger.

Immediately I try to call his number again but it goes straight to voicemail The same message plays over in my head, and as it does my heart races as I knew the voice sounded familiar, but I wasn’t really sure who it belonged, I just knew that I recognised the voice.

“Youngjae?” a male voice I knew that I recognised calls out from outside of the bedroom that I was settled in. I walk out of the room, down the hall and into the foyer of the apartment. I find a worried looking Changkyun stood, his face sort of relaxes when he sees me.

“Oh shit, you’re here” the man pulls me into a hug, before revealing that he had been at work and overheard something from drainers. According to those drainers, they were people who were going to try and kidnap me. It wasn’t known who was doing it, but it was enough to worry Changkyun. He had rushed over here and had been trying to call me, but I had admittedly ignored the call in favour of my night of leisure.

The man isn’t relaxed for long, especially when I reveal the voicemail that I had heard. That Younghyun had been kidnapped and I had to wait for half an hour to hear where he was. I was worried out of my mind, I didn’t know whether or not to call Sung Kyung, Junhyeok, any friends or family to check if this was legit first. Or if that would worry them more, if I should try and check whatever this was.

Changkyun as usual has a steady head, he plans things out. The man says would get his pack to look over town for him, and in the meantime we would stay here and wait for the next instructions. The man reaches for my shoulder squeezing it, the look in his eyes shows full support. I was thankful for it, but I still had a stomach churning feeling especially as I tried to work out where I recognised the muffled voice from.

As we wait, I try to figure out who I could have pissed off enough for them to do this, to kidnap someone so close to me. According to Changkyun, the drainers he overheard, had no further information when he approached them. They claimed that they didn’t know anything in detail and had only heard it through rumours.

After a tense half an hour passes, the phone rings. Immediately I answer the phone hands shaking. The person on the other side of the phone was Younghyun, his voice was very ragged and shallow. The first thought in my head was what had they put the elder through?

“Youngjae, it’s me” this voice sounded shaky. “Where are you?” I was desperate for the elder. “I’m somewhere, I don’t know they put a blind fold over my eyes…” the elder man sounded so scared. “Hurry it up pretty boy.” I hear a woman’s voice in the background.

“They said they won’t hurt me, but you should come. But don’t Youngjae, don’t get yourself hurt” voice shaken and concerned. He is cut off and soon I hear some groaning on his end that has me shouting for him concerned.

“Clean him up, I don’t want to stain the floor with blood” the woman says off the phone. When I call out for Younghyun there is no reply for a while I can only hear a scraping of metal before suddenly someone returns to the phone. “Your boyfriend to try to be very heroic, that’s very sweet but not his area of expertise, that’ll be yours” she says with a giggle.

“Now I have a gang with me, some powerful drainers, so I will allow you a couple of people” the woman’s accent slips, she doesn’t sound like a Korean person but still I wasn’t sure who it was.

“Don’t go bringing that little pack of mutts that your friend hangs out with, if you do I’ll bring my drainers and it will be a blood bath okay?” Before I can ask what she wants me with me or Younghyun, the woman hangs up.

“What did she say?” Changkyun asks, but I don’t answer him. I was too busy trying to type out Younghyun’s number. As I do, I get a text from him with the name and address of somewhere that I didn’t recognise.

“That’s the abandoned warehouse” Changkyun recognises the place. It had gone in foreclosure almost a decade ago and now it was used for illegal activities or secret parties thrown by teens or young adults. “Do you know who could do this?” Changkyun checks.

I shake my head; I didn’t know who would do this. Since my attack the other day, and now this were they connected? I wasn’t sure, but I felt like I knew who it was, the voice was just far too familiar.

“They have Younghyun, do you know why they would do this?” not wanting to get it wrong, I wasn’t sure. Over the last decade and a half as a drainer, I had fought against many, but not enough to call any of them as my mortal enemies. Changkyun says that he was coming with me and he would bring the back. I told him that she had said I could only bring in a few people.

Reluctant about going without his pack, Changkyun insists on going with me. The pair of us head over to the address that we had received, Hoseok comes along, Changkyun had called out the elder through their telepathy. He believed that at the very least the two of them would be a good defense for me, and that the drainers we went to see would feel less threatened at the sight of just the three of us.

It was dangerous and there was no guarantee we would make it out safely, but Changkyun vehemently denies my attempt to get him to return home and let me sort this out myself.

“Are you fucking crazy? I’m not letting you do this alone” the man replies to me in disbelief of my suggestion. In reality I was worried, I didn’t need him to be victim to something that I had done, not when he had a wife and children who needed him. I on the other hand just needed to get Younghyun out to a safe place, if I died in the process, I wouldn’t feel too bad. But Changkyun wasn’t going to let that happen, he was going to back me, because he knew if the tables were turned, I would do the same.

“We’re going to get out this alive, okay?” the man tries to reassure me, as we pensively approach the warehouse. The location of the warehouse was on the outskirts of town, near an ominous looking woodland. I had a feeling the location was chosen for its pretty barren appearance. On the inside it looked like it had been stripped of all equipment was just a flat and dirty space.

As we walk inside the warehouse, we are immediately flanked by four drainers. None of whom talk to us or address us, they don’t answer any of our questions. They leave it up to us to keep walking into the building and find our way, it’s not long until we spot Younghyun across the room sat, bound and gagged to an uncomfortable and wooden looking chair.

When Younghyun spots me, his eyes widen. He looked surprised but also in fear, for himself or me I wasn’t quite sure. Without thinking, I rush to his side and immediately start to untie him. When I remove the gag from his mouth, the man is full of complaints, for the fact that I had turned up alone, that I should have come with the cops, I should have come equipped.

“He’s not alone” I hear the familiar voice from over the phone, only this time they were here in the flesh. When I look up from the direction of the voice, I find that stood in the doorway leading to what looked like an office area, was none other than Meng Jia. The former police detective and girlfriend of close friend Wang Jackson, she was here in the flesh and alive.

Unlike what we had been told, the elder was still alive. She looked exactly the same, her face hadn’t aged. She still had those small, beautiful and feline facial features. Her pale white skin radiates in the dimly lit warehouse, only lit by the one flickering light above, it was a totally grim set up they had put Younghyun in. I don’t even get the chance to be apologetic, I’m too busy being shocked by the appearance of someone that I thought was dead.

That was what we had been told by Jackson’s superior Kim Minjun, that while on an undercover mission Jia had died on duty. The mission had been part of the police force’s attempt to disassemble the unit behind JB, those who were in charge of such a big criminal operation. When JB died, things quietened down, but that didn’t mean it ever stopped.

In fact, a couple years passed and business eventually became stronger than it had been when it’s figure head had been alive. They hadn’t allowed the death of Jaebum to affect their operations, operations that spanned all across the world.

From drugs, to human trafficking to their deadly blood banks which were another form of prostitution. Despite leaving a trail of death, of ruined lives, JB’s criminal organisation was ran so well that it never left a strong enough scent or trail for the police to follow. If they ever did close enough, they ended up dead.

So when Minjun had informed Jackson that his woman had been kicked, we all struggled to come to terms with this. Even with her dead body which had been tested, with results that said that she was in fact dead. Jackson especially struggled to believe it. In his own private time, he went out of his way to try and find his own answers. But eventually he had to try and come to terms with the reality that she had died, except she hadn’t here she was.

“Youngjae, it’s been a long time!” the woman says giggling. Her smile was bright; it was if she was seeing a friend that she hadn’t seen in a long time. Something which was true, but I had thought she was dead. She had to know that I thought that way too, well I had been a little bit suspicious about it during her voicemail and call earlier. But now it was confirmed.

Dressed all in leather, from head to toe. The woman had on a black, leather jump suit which clung to her petit and toned body. Her hair was black and tight up in a ponytail, her make up drastic. She looked different and the similar at the same time. She seemed like the noona I had grown so fond of, the one I had cried night after night for when I thought she had passed, but there was something new that I sensed. It was a dark aura.

“So much has changed hasn’t it? Jackjia and 2Young, the awesome foursome is no more!” the woman says almost fondly. There was so much pain behind that statement. Our friendship and relationship as a four had been so close, and her death had hit us all hard. It had almost sent Jackson off of the rails, and if Jinyoung hadn’t been by his side to comfort him, then its pretty hard to tell if he would have made it out of the darkness.

“Although I heard that Jinyoung is back in town. This new boy toy doesn’t mind” Jia points to Younghyun. How had she even known that we were together? Had she been following me? What did she know or want from me?

“The cute man seems to be a very open man, willing to share you with your ex and your best friend” Jia continues on making me more uncomfortable as the seconds pass. I had spoken to Younghyun about Jinyoung and his return and had said that I did a bit uncomfortable about it, I had tried to be as honest as I could on that front. But with Yien, I had always insisted that we were just best friends.

“You bought some mutts with you?” Jia says acknowledging the presence of Changkyun and Hoseok who had been silent up until this point. I could see Hoseok’s brain working quick time trying to work out the relationship between Jia and I. Changkyun knew and much like I must be thinking how a woman who should be dead, was standing in front of me.

“This worked out well” Jia ignores the fact I was asking what she was doing, why she was doing this and where had she been all this time? “So if you defeat me and you get your beau back” the woman says with a straight face. Did she want me to fight her? What for?

“Why are you like this? Who are you working for?” I ask the elder, exasperated and confused. “You’re asking a lot of questions, get with the action Choi Youngjae, she looked different she wasn’t the Jia I knew. Younghyun asks under his breath if I knew the elder, and all I can do is nod my head in reply, he looked very worried.

“What about Jackson does he know that you’re okay?” I ask a question that I try to address. “He must do, or else would he have gotten with that wretch Wang Fei Fei” Jia sounded bitter resentful. I don’t know if he had been watching over Jackson, but Jackson struggled.

“Not hard or long enough” Jia spits out, she looked bitter and hurt and I understood it. Jackson had struggled after she died, he had worked hard to find her killer. He had even visited Fei every day in jail to get her to open up about the operation. Over the years Fei softened towards Jackson and surprisingly they fell in love, got married and had kids. But over the time Jackson has never given up on finding Jia’s killer. He had suffered a lot.

“That’s not the point!” Jia shouts. “Now you have to defeat me, it’s just you and I one on one” Jia leaps forwards to attack me. I move quickly to push Younghyun out of the way to safety. Hoseok runs to his side making sure he takes care of the other. So I have time to focus on fighting Jia, the woman as quicker and stronger than me, but I knew how she fights.

“Jia! Stop this!” I try to plead this. As I say this Jia’s movements become more rigid but she pulls through it continuing her rapid attacks. She lands a few hits and gets me to the floor. The blows leave me in pain and Hoseok watches on concerned, but Changkyun dives towards Jia for help. But I tell him to stop, in his tracks and watches me.

“Your father will come back for you; you need to be stronger” she says. Surprised and confused, I turn to look at Changkyun. He had been waiting over a decade for his father a potential face off, but how did Jia know this?

Changkyun in his tracks watches Jia suspicious. When I turn to Jia, she looks down at me, her eyes cold and detached. If I was going to take her on, then I would do it alone. So I look to the side and watch Changkyun to communicate that as best as I can.

Although he’s reluctant, Changkyun backs away. Jia smirks happy to see this, the woman lefts up her slender leg and slammed it down on me. I move quickly enough out of the way, I keep trying to dodge her attacks until I can get my footing and go toe to toe with her.

In the background I spot Changkyun and Hoseok were in wolf form fighting against the attacks from drainers. It becomes loud and violent in the warehouse, and I try not to be too concerned about the wolves and I try and focus on the fight in front of me. I suffer some cuts and lacerations through the fight, but I manage to keep myself from greater damage.

As we fight, I can see the spark in Jia’s eyes. It’s as if she was excited, she seemed to be enjoying the fight and having a bloodlust. Landing a blow on Jia is almost impossible, the woman was quick and strong, but I do manage a couple blows that throw her back.

With her taking a steps back from my attack, I look in the corner of my eye to check on Younghyun, and just in time as well as I can see a drainer try to come for him. So I rush ahead and leap to kick the neck off of the drainer without thinking, I wasn’t going to let them harm him. I knew he could be horrified by it, but I would do what was needed to protect him.

 

“Youngjae!” Younghyun’s eyes pop up as he looks behind me, I realise that Jia was probably coming for me. When I turn around she elder dives with a drop kick meant for me, throwing me behind us. I try to throw myself away from Younghyun and take Jia’s attention away. This was the last thing I wanted to do, I didn’t want to fight against a friend, this was wrong.

“STOP THIS!” I shout as Jia leaps to me, a burst of energy flows through me, as I throw my hands out as defense Jia stops in her tracks. Her eyes pop out, she looks surprised like she wasn’t expecting it. She looked shocked, I don’t know why she’s like this but I back up a bit more.

“Freeze Mokpo PD!” I hear a loud voice call out, followed by a bang. I see that even though Hoseok and Changkyun had been fighting against a group of drainers and managing to keep in the fight despite being greatly out numbered. There were a few drainer casualties and overall they had been successful in their fight.

Coming through with their protective gear was a large group of police officers, all equipped with TRNQ guns. They were the tranquiliser guns that had been made world-wide defense guns against drainers. Ironically they were a weapon that Jia had worked on helping develop.

When I look for her, I see she was no longer frozen but she had smashed a window and was jumping out of the warehouse windows making her exit. Her and her group of drainers were outnumbered by the police officers, it was a tactical exit. It’s a relief that they had come when they had, we weren’t fighting any more. That it hadn’t gone any further, I was scared it would lead to either my death or Jia’s.

Changkyun and Hoseok rush over to Younghyun in their wolf, both in front of us as a defense. If they were shot the TRNQ wouldn’t affect them, their blood was to hot for it to take effect. Plus, they didn’t want us to be mistaken for the other drainers who were there, that I knew without even having to talk with them.

So while the police squad was busy with the drainers they were either killing or apprehending, the four of us wait for it all to play out. I hold onto Younghyun who was shaking, shocked obviously from what he had seen. The cops in the area were familiar with the wolves, they worked together to keep Mokpo safe, so not many blink at the sight Hoseok and Changkyun, these big large and furry mammals. But the general public was unaware.

An out of towner like Younghyun especially, he had just arrived in Mokpo and was just getting used to the fact his boyfriend was a drainer. Now he was faced off with more supernatural creatures, I knew that I would have a lot of explaining to do. But for now, I stay by his side, stroking through his hair and trying comfort him.

One of the police officers takes off their masks and comes running my way. It was Park Jinyoung. He comes over to us and checks up on us, the man had got his team together when Hoseok had stealthily called him. Hoseok wasn’t going to let us jump into this alone, but he didn’t tell me this

After about half an hour of waiting for the cops to take care of the drainers who had attacked us. We are finally allowed to head home. We had told our side of the story and written statements and those people who be taken care of the vampire council who would decide what to do with them.

Once everything is done, I take Younghyun to his apartment. The man declines the offer to stay with me, he claims that he would feel safer in his apartment and he wanted to feel comfortable. So reluctantly, I go with him and I go with him, he gets washed and dressed and is clean. Even despite his traumatic experience, he tells me off.

“You shouldn't have rushed into that!” the elder berates me. After I had explained everything that had gone on, the elder seemed to be processing it well but he was still a little shaken and irritated. He was concerned about me and I could tell, after all what happened earlier was surely going to lead to some trouble in the future.

The man says he didn't want me to risk my life, he had been trying to figure out how to get out alone. I tell him that there was no way that I could have stayed and let him stay there, Jia had wanted me and so there was no way I would keep him in danger. The man softens and doesn’t bring up any more. I could tell that he was overwhelmed, so we would do it later.

I tell the elder that I would pop out while he rested and that I would be back soon enough. I tell him that I was going to see Changkyun, and discuss something that had happened earlier. But I would return for him. He agrees before settling down for the night. He looked very tired and I didn’t blame him, it doesn’t even take a few minutes before he drifts off to sleep. I stroke through his hair and I head off out.

On my way out, I find Jinyoung waiting in the living room area. He had been waiting, he had come along and was willing to help with whatever. The man said he had something he wanted to talk to me about. I was a little busy and unable to speak, but I do ask the elder if he can look over Younghyun while I was gone. The man fortunately agrees, finding a book he parks himself down to sit and wait for him.

Before I go, the man tells me to go and check on Yien. He had heard from Hoseok what had happened and he would be worried about me. I hadn’t wanted for that to happen, I didn’t want to worry Yien and it wouldn’t be until I saw him face to face before he would calm down. He had let my attack the other day go, but now with this piled on he would be going out of his mind with worry, so I would need to show my face.

“Whatever it is that's going on between the two of you?” Jinyoung asks with a raised eyebrow. I shrug, I wasn’t sure how to answer the question. There's nothing, there's something. “There's always going to be something” Jinyoung comments without looking up from his book. It was an accusation; he just states it as if it was a casual fact.

As much as I wanna argue against Jinyoung, I don’t have the time. I rush over to Hoseok and Yien’s apartment. The second I step into their apartment, Yien leaps into a hug holds me close into my embrace. The man pulls me close, he berated me for being stupid enough to run into that danger. I let him berate me until he gets it all out of his system, I knew that he was really worried for me.

After a while the elder goes silent. I ask what he was thinking. I knew when he was like this then that means he was wrestling with telling me something difficult. I tell him to speak up and he does.

“I was thinking about this and I know things are already complicated” Yien speaks up, he pulls away to look me in the face. “Hyung I can't talk about us just yet” I was stressed and couldn’t discuss our situation right now. “It's not about us, it's about maths Youngjae, maths” he says seriously, but he leaves me a little confused.

“You told me about it. About your time in Paris and how you got drunk and had your first experience with a woman, with park Junghwa” I don’t know why he was suddenly bringing this up. “It was unprotected, it was four years ago, and now she’s back with a child…” he had bought up what I had been secretly worried and suspicious about.

“Talk to her, she's at the café” Yien was serious, when he was like this then I couldn’t deny this. “You know you need to do it. “Hoseok hyung will be here in a second so I'll be safe” the man reassures me before I head out. The man gives me a soft and lingering kiss before I go. No longer fighting it, I kiss the elder, I kiss him back briefly before moving away.

“This won’t make me run away” Yien says before delivering one last kiss. My heart flutters at the thought, no matter what Yien had always been by my side and he was going to stay by my side. I was so lucky to have him.

It was dark outside and a little shaky, but I head over to the café. Hoseok is at the cafe outside smoking a cigarette. We briefly talk. The man had been thinking a lot since the whole attack. He comments about me in the fight.

“There was something different in the fight. You looked different and stronger” the man assesses. I hadn’t really thought much about it, I just guessed it was just the panic and concern.

Hoseok who knew a lot of things, he expresses his suspicions at everything. Jia’s return was the start of something fishy. Her death was linked to JB, and now she was alive and running in the company of Changkyun’s father. He had all those things running through his head. The man as an investigator was probably desperate to put all the pieces.

Leaving Hoseok inside of the house, I head inside of the café which was now shut up. Hyojin was behind the counter with Changkyun and she was berating him for his behaviours. Hyerin was there in the room watching on, when she spots me she brightens up.

“We needed to talk” she woman speaks up. I watch her suspicious, her timing was a little suspicious. “There is something special about you” the woman starts up. “What do you mean?” I foolishly ask the elder. Why is she always like this when we meet?

Admittedly I was a little irritable I had barely made it out alive of this life or death situation. I had my boyfriend and best friend, both of whom I was involved in this weird love triangle.

There was an impending threat that I knew was coming, and I knew I needed to protect my loved ones from, and well seeing Seo Hyerin wasn’t really what I needed right now. Not when she was talking to me in these riddles, it was getting frustrating and until she spoke to me straight on about whatever she needed to talk about then I didn’t need to think about her.

“You seem irritated… maybe we’ll speak later” she says before excusing herself and leaving. I was relieved, even though I didn’t really want to speak to the strange woman at all, it would be better to do it at a later date.

Stood at the side I watch as Hyojin in her concerned state lectures her husband on acting recklessly, before turning to me and berating me a little. Before she checks up on me. I knew that she was worried about the both of us, I could see she was on the verge of tears, but relieved that we had made it back home safe. So I do let her get out her emotions before apologising.

When Hyojin leaves Changkyun and I alone together the two of us sit to talk. There was so much to be discussed. The man was a little shaken, the mention of his father had him thinking. He had to take over the pack again to lead them into preparation of the battle that was soon coming.

Changkyun tells me to be more vigilant when walk around. He tells me that now was the time to walk around with weapons, but to also work and train up my strength. It was going to be hard, but for our families and friends to be safe then we need to get stronger.

As I am about to leave, I bump into Junghwa again. This time instead of her baby in her stroller, the young mother holds her child in her arms. The child in her arms looked like they asleep. Dressed in a cute warm green ensemble, the child’s short hair leads me to believe it was a son she had. When she spots me she looks startled and is about to turn away again. 

“Is he my son?” I ask the woman. Surprised she freezes in place, there is a brief silence. “Is he my child?” I ask once again, afraid of the answer, but desperate to know. Junghwa stays still not moving back or forwards, her actions answer the question louder than any words.

Slowly the woman turns around to me, her eyes brimming with tears. She looked like a dam that was about to burst. Looking down at the sleeping child in her arms, she strokes the child’s face, before looking up to me. Wordless she nods her head before bursting into tears, a sight that breaks my heart. I had done this to her, I was responsible for breaking her like this.


	11. ...My Son

Life was unfair. I knew it would get better in the future, but for now I was stuck in this stage. I was in the awkward no man’s land. I was no longer a cute kid who could get her way just by existing. I wasn’t adorable nor squishy anymore, but I hadn’t gotten the definition that came with age. I was moulded into a grown adult, but unfortunately I was stuck in the middle of my awkward phase.

 

My face was still round and cute, it wasn’t what I wanted it to be. I didn’t want to be so adorable, I didn’t want to be seen as a child. There were lumps and bumps on my body that were suddenly growing. I was becoming womanly but at a slow place, I had cover myself up as much as I could in the process. I wore anything baggy, that covered me completely.

 

Looking in the mirror, I map my body with the changes I want to happen but I was scared at the same time. Would I become hairy? How hairy? How much shaving would I have to do it? Would it be a daily, weekly or monthly routine? How about the muscles, I was bound to get stronger, with all the running and fighting? Would I end up getting muscular like a man?

 

With such thoughts I can’t help but feel a grimace pass across my face. I wish I could bypass all the growing that I needed to do. I wish I could go ahead without having to feel uncertain about the future. I didn’t know who I was, I was always uncertain, also wavering, I never truly trusted myself.

“Jjong!” my loud father’s voice cuts through my thoughts of uncertainty. I’m in front of the mirror again, still looking the same. What a disappointment. “Jjong!” my father’s boom voice gets closer until it feels like it’s on the other side of the door. The man pounds at the door telling me to hurry up. We would be heading out, and he was tired of waiting for me.

Dealing with such an impatient man, I reluctantly rush and put on my most comfortable hoodie and my favourite pair of worn converse. I wasn’t going anywhere particularly special so I would go and be as comfortable as I needed to be. Ignoring my father’s rapid knock on the door, I open my bedside drawer which had some of the shells that I had collected when I had been at the beach.

“It’s about time!” my father says before ruffling through my hair, and putting me in a head lock. The big burly male never took into account that he was three times my size, and drags me out of our two-bedroom house. We lived at the top of a hilltop neighbourhood, with the house furthest up from the bottom of the hill. It’s said that my father swapped the house he originally lived in near the bottom, to help accommodate an elderly couple.

The neighbourhood that we lived in was pretty tight knit, we looked out for each other and protected each other in times of need. Moreover, we were people who shared pretty much the same kind of history, background and fate. Our main bond came from the supernatural powers that we shared, and that in the end we would always find our way together because it was in our DNA, our genetics meant we were family without choice.

Growing up I dealt with my conflicts. It wasn’t that I was ashamed of being a wolf, our pack was brave and honourable. But for me who yearned for a normal life, where I could simply just be a pretty girl who drew well, I knew that being part of pack wasn’t going to make that easy. Especially seeing as I would physically I would have no choice, my body was genetically like that. As long as I was around the rest of my pack, I would always feel the desire to protect, when there was danger around I would need to protect.

It was in a wolf’s DNA, that in times of struggle and hardships. We would band together and fight those who needed to be protected. Growing up in Mokpo, there had been a pretty calm atmosphere. There weren’t many forces working to endanger the people of the town, but when those few events occurred, we banded together in fight. By we, I meant the adults who had already burst and transformed, most of the younger wolves had yet to do that.

Within the pack, there were many whose children were around the same age. What tended to happen is that we burst around the same age to become a pack of our own in the future. We would carry on the legacy that our parents had built up for the last couple of decades. Our own special bond would form, but as of now I wasn’t acquainted with many of them. I didn’t know who the people I would be fighting for, this all felt mysterious.

My path had already been mapped out for me before I had even taken my first breath in the world. My father had always insisted that I had the choice, I could leave Mokpo and move somewhere there was no wolf population. I could live there, study and get a normal job. But the reality that I would have to essentially live somewhere remote, away from friends and family would be the only way I would get to live a life that didn’t involve pack life didn’t sit really well with me.

“You look just like your mother” my father says breaking me out of my gripping thoughts. The burly man cards his hands through my washed and dried hair. “Do I look dead and six feet under?” I reply, although my reply was morbid, it felt quit suitable for where we were right now.

“Oh come, be more thoughtful kid” my father warns as we stand in front of my mother’s grave. We had made it all the way from our house to her the graveyard at the back of the church which was about fifteen minutes by walking. I hadn’t even noticed that we had gotten here until my father had pointed it out. Now my mood was through the basement.

Visiting your mother’s grave tended to do that to you. Especially when you felt estranged to the woman who had given birth to you. The woman who had early in her life and you knew the reason was because of you. Months after birthing me, the woman had died because of surgical complications, leaving me to be raised by her widower.

Even though I felt no connection to the elder, my father made me visit her often, at the very least he would try and get me to see her once a week. He felt like I should remember my mother, that I should try and know the elder and every now and then when he was up to it he would tell me a story about her. From what I got from his stories, I really did resemble my mother not only in looks but in personalities.

Today though my father doesn’t have a story, it had been a while since he had told one. Nowadays, he just stood and stared at his deceased wife’s grave, almost like he was talking to her through his thoughts. How badly I wished that I had burst, so I could know his thoughts.

“Fried chicken?” the elder suggests, touching the top of my head as if to suggest. He hadn’t really given me any option, but I wouldn’t disagree to it. The man wasn’t much of a cook, so fortunately he had the sense to order out or make something pre-cooked for the both of us. I could cook a little bit, but it was a bit inconsiderate to get a thirteen-year-old cook for the household every day, so I rarely did do it.

“Pa’s going to see Mrs Kim… do you want to come with me, or go to the bowling alley?” although this question sounded like a choice, it only left me with only place to head to. Would I like to watch my father make kissy faces at our neighbour who he was no long slyly seeing, or should I head to the bowling alley he owned where I could have a few snacks to tide be by until we had our unhealthy and greasy friend meal?

Of course I decide to head to the bowling alley. I didn’t want to be uncomfortable in the house of the woman who had just moved in next door. I didn’t want to give her glares of mistrust, or displeasure. I didn’t want to, but whenever I got around that woman I couldn’t help it. Whether it was just an immature response or not, I didn’t care. I just didn’t care to be around her, but I had a feeling there wouldn’t be much avoiding I could do for long.

One of my father’s bowling alley employees, Ahn Hyojin comes to pick me up ten minutes later. The girl was a little older than me, she was well developed, with curves and bumps in the right places. She dressed to highlight her curves, tight ripped jeans, a crop top and a plaid blouse over it. The girl wears her makeup in a striking fashion, that made her look honestly quite cool, in a way that not many could pull off, at least not me.

Hooking arms with the elder, I ignore my father’s mini lecture on behaviours to be practiced when in his business. Instead I start chatting with Hyojin who was a very fond of me, the girl had always looked over as I had grown up. She had been there when I had attracted some bullies in earlier years, she had taught me how to be more brave in intimidating situations. She was like an older sister who I could rely on whenever I needed, there were times when I didn’t need her but she didn’t was there just in case.

Hyojin who was already in high school, was the coolest person I knew. She was rarely bothered by anything, and was so self-confident. I envied her and even though I didn’t want to be a carbon copy of her, I still wanted to be a lot like her, but within my own little awkward Junghwa box.

When we get to the bowling alley, I join Hyojin behind the counter talking to her and her friend and colleague Hani. The pair both went to the same high school and were set to become part of the pack. Neither had gone through their bursts, much like I had, but they didn’t seem bothered about waiting.

As it was a Sunday, there weren’t that many customers who had come out for the day. With not many customers coming through, the pair are free to gossip to their hearts content, and I sit by and listen to them. Hani is the more talkative of the two, she brings up talk of a former pack leader who was currently visiting.

Park Minyoung who was briefly visiting her older brother who had settled down in town. She had lived here before and had lead a whole pack, including my father, Hyojin and Hani’s father, she was famous for being very rough and fair. According to Hani, her son was the same age as I was.

Hani had heard that through one of the pack elders it had been announced that Minyoung’s son was going to be the future pack leader. I wasn’t fully sure how this decision was made, but the elder who had made this announcement was a very wise and sage wolf from our pack. He had correctly guessed the last few pack leaders, each leader had been able to lead our pack as strongly and courageously as the one before them. So most of us were following his words.

“He looked so small and weak, he couldn’t even look me in the eyes” Hani continues commenting on the young boy. “You are quiet fierce looking, I don’t blame him” I tease the elder. She wasn’t really that intimidating, Hyojin was intimidating on the surface, but Hani when pushed could become your worst enemy. “He’ll have to do a lot of growing up to do before he can lead a whole pack of us” Hani shrugs off.

Meanwhile in the corner of my eye, I can see that Hyojin looks to have retreated inside of herself. She was thinking about something, maybe something that Hani had told her. Despite this, Hani continues to talk about Park Minyoung. She turns her attention to me getting the gossip out. She tells the story of how the former pack leader had imprinted on a drainer when he was younger, before he had become a drainer.

The story according to her was that his family lived here only briefly when she was younger, and in that short time the woman imprinted on the son of a chaebol. When she had grown up and went to Jinhae for work, she met the boy who had imprinted on her. The chaebol was now a drainer, and things had become so complicated so quickly.

“Anyway she pulled away from him when she found out he was dangerous drainer, but by then she was pregnant with our pack leader!” Hani looked satisfied to have let out that bit of gossip. I can’t help but sympathise with the woman, it must have been hard for her to raise child alone, she reminded me of my father. Having to play both roles for her child.

“The child, he won’t be defective will he? Being a wolf and drainer?” Hani questions lacking tact in her delivery. I didn’t know the answer to her question, what did it mean when a drainer and wolf procreated? I’m sure it was a rare occurrence.

“He’ll be stronger than all of us” Hyojin answers. The look on her face, it matched the certainty in her words. She explains that in the rare instances that wolves and drainers ever procreated, but the child that came out of it was always a mix of both parents. It had the strength of a drainer without the blood thirst, and the strength and sense of family and protection that wolves tended to have. Park Minyoung’s son would be very strong.

“Hey go put out the bins” Hyojin orders me. The elder’s tone doesn’t allow me to try to argue back about the gross tag. So heading out to head to the back, into the staff room and I begin to clean up the mess the employees had so kindly left for me. In the middle of cleaning up, I am joined by my best friend and partner in crime Heo Yun.

Yun went to the same school with me, her parents were really strict and wanted her to focus on her studies. So when school finished, she always had to rush home and get a few hours of studying done. Her parents preferred for her to stay at home and study, after all they had put all their hopes and dreams into their youngest daughter to go on a normal path.

Her old brother is part of the pack, but as a beta in the assassin squad he doesn’t play a pivotal role. While her brother Jonghyun is reluctant to have the responsibility that he does have, his sister wishes she had the active wolf gene passed onto her. She had a fascination with wolf packs, she even wrote about them in her fiction. She believed that they were majestic, loyal and fierce creatures that she envied.

The peculiar girl had finished writing a series based on her reluctant hero of an older brother. According to her when he discovered her manuscript and burned it she decided to move onto a different character. Although she was reluctant in this, Yun was trying to respect her elder brother’s wishes.

Plus, since he had gotten in a serious relationship with a local human, he wasn’t around as often as she had wanted. Yun had to start all over again and find a new muse, one that wasn’t close enough for him to discover what she was doing. It’s my art. What if you get. She was planning on following her next subject around for the next day.

“I want to get up and close to see him and his actions, the microbehaviours” the girl says as she helps me put the last of the cardboard in a clear plastic bag. The insanity of her statement matched with the mundanity of her task was leaving me with nothing other than laughing. Yun claims that she wants to see the people in his life, to see who drives him on a day to day basis.

Yun claims she wanted to see how everyone reacts to him and the only way to do that was in person. “I can do that is if I skip school” she says so simply. She was crazy and I let her know. “Come over to my place first tomorrow, I’ll pick you up!”. The girl was very decided on the fact that she was going to drag me along with her.

That night I head home, have dinner with father. As promised we have our unhealthy greasy friend chicken meal. While we sit down for dinner the man asks how I was doing in school. He mentions that parents evening is soon, and tells me not to start to slipping up.

My father was had been trying to manage everything in my life, since I was a baby. My mother had passed away not long after I was born. She had been sick before she had even gotten pregnant with me and according to my father he had insisted that they would not have any children. They would be happy and live happily together alone, there were no plans to have a child. But when suddenly my mother found herself pregnant, the woman had stubbornly insistent on giving birth to her child.

It had been something my father had struggled with; he had been against her pregnancy throughout. The man admits that it wasn’t until I was born and in his arms did he even change his mind. At the age of thirteen it was a little odd that my father had been this honest with me about everything, but seeing as it had always just been the two of us, he felt comfortable and open with me.

Sometimes it was a little inconvenient having a father who was so honest and open with his feelings, because sometimes his feelings and emotions clashed with the desires that I had in life. Even though I had not grown up with my mother in my life, didn’t mean that I wanted other women in my life. It was something that I had always struggled with, the thought that someone could intrude on the space that my father had.

The woman was becoming more and more important in my father’s life, she was being invited in the space that my father and I had built for ourselves. It was safe space and I didn’t know if I trusted anyone else coming into that. So I was a bit wary of the older woman, but still she’s bought up in conversation, it was happening more often.

“Mrs Kim wants to cook us dinner tomorrow evening, she wants to know what she should make”. I grimace, he wasn’t even asking for my permission or even being careful about this all.

It was like he was so desperate to push the agenda of his relationship with this woman that he was totally ignoring my feelings. I was struggling with my emotions, after all I was just thirteen years old, of course I had the urge to be selfish and completely forbid my father from the path his was taking, but then If I wanted to be considered an adult, if I wanted to be given more trust, then I had to show the same for my father.

So I shrug and tell my father that it was up to him, I wasn’t invested in the night, he would be the person who would truly enjoy it. So as far as it was concerned, I would turn up to the dinner and be civil to the woman. That was the best I could do and my father shouldn’t expect more than that. The man seems to get the idea and lets me finish up my meal and head to my room without any more questions on the dinner.

He didn’t want to push his luck. Plus, I didn’t want to draw too much attention to myself. If he thought I was upset, he would probably be more attentive and watch me closely and he would probably see through my plan of escape tomorrow.

Delivering a brief kiss on the elder’s cheek, I rush off to my room and lock myself up in my room. It wasn’t strange for me to do, my father had gotten used to this at my age, I was starting to be more private and he was trying to respect that. That’s how our relationship worked, I didn’t have many secrets from my father, but still sometimes I needed my own space and privacy.

The next day there is tingling feeling that I feel in my stomach as I sit on the porch of the house. I was dressed in my uniform, with my spare clothes in my bag. I had excused my extra bag as my PE kit, claiming that I was trying out for the netball team, something that excites my father. He hated that I liked sitting down to draw, he wanted me to be more active and as a sportsman, he would love to pass on his passion to me. I would hate to break it to him that I was less than successful later on when we met, but it would work out well. If I was accepted, then he would give up on his dream of raising a little mini me athlete.

Yun picks me up, jokes with dad. I was grown up and wanted to go alone, he insists on escorting us. I had my first period. What. I wanted to talk about becoming a woman with your daughter, I need another’s girl’s perspective. Fine. Text me when you get to school. Of course. I excuse myself before heading out in the direction of the school. It would be easier for us this way, we could stop by a convenience store nearby and get changed. Hopefully there would be no responsible adults around to stop us.

As we sneak into the aquarium, Yun confidently speaks on her muse. According to her “research” he was a student and his school would be taking a field trip in the school. We would be following their school under the rouse of children who were there with our parents.

We didn’t look too young to be worried about, but if someone did come to challenge about what we were doing there, we had our own elaborate story. Our parents were old high school sweet hearts, one had divorced and the other widowed and we were trying to bring them together. We were giving them some time to talk as well as enjoying the aquarium, it was a lavish and heartfelt story we were sure people would buy.

As we walk around suddenly we notice a loud chattering, it was a group. The close we get to them we see the uniform. Yun sees the muse, his name was Bobby he was the son of a rich businessman. Most of the kids who went to this school were pretty well off, some of them looked that way, snooty and unapproachable bored with the trip they were on. But near the back of the group was the muse Bobby who were now in pursuit of.

From what I could see, Bobby was cute as handsome as he was described before. He was still cute enough with some charm and makes him heart fluttering. I shrug away the feeling as it something normal for someone my age. I had discovered that being a teenager, my heart fluttered for anyone I thought was good-looking, this Bobby boy was no different.

Yun writes notes down as we follow Bobby and his group, as we do she seems to find something interesting. Yun notes his relationship between one male and female who were around the same age as us. When he is with the female looks like arguing quite a bit, but their bickering could be translated into flirting it didn’t look too serious.

Meanwhile when interacting with the boy he seemed very fun and easy going. His actions for the other male were playful, it seems like it with that action is trying cheers friend up. Yun believes that Bobby is in fact a more mature person that the wide that is what makes him attractive to have he's a smart person who seems to be more than what he shows on the surface, I can’t help but agree with her.

We spend most of the morning following the students of the other school around and as we do, my heart begins to flutter more wildly than it ever has. The tingles I felt earlier today, spread all over my body. My stomach has the flutters that I had when seeing Bobby, but so much stronger.

This all starts when my eyes land on one of the students in the group. Near the back, he had been walking alone, he was a straggler and looked miserable. My eyes land directly on him and can’t leave him, my sight blurs with a stream of tears, my breath hitches and that’s it, I know the feeling.

Gripping onto Yun, I stop her in her tracks. My state must be dire because her questioning turns into concern within seconds. I was in pain, but it felt good. My body was going through it, there was no way I could be the same after this. I had met him; he was my imprint. 

13 years old.

His hands slide down my thigh, slowly travelling upwards so slowly taunting and teasing me. The man and I had been lying in bed, both naked and worked out from our sudden sex session. We had hardly made past the threshold of the Kim house hold before Bobby’s hands went flying everywhere.

Not that I had minded. It had been a couple of weeks of this, what had started off as a couple of one night stands had left up inseparable. Where would we have to run off if we were on the same shift looking out for the town’s folks? So we couldn’t really avoid each other, and so we just faced things face on. Well at least I had been the first to speak up.

Bobby had spent so many years staving off my half-hearted attempts to flirt with him. I had always found Bobby attractive, but when I flirted with him it was always an attempt to make him uncomfortable. I had even played along with his believe that I was in love with him. I chased him to make him uncomfortable, to see how cute and awkward he could be when trying to reject my somewhat “eager” advances.

Caught between his strong feelings for his best friend’s girlfriend, and his misunderstanding with me, the boy had always avoided me. Now we had been forced together, to work together, to fight together and for each other, we had trust in each other. That had come with understanding, and of course there were feelings involved. It had taken a while for those feelings to become bolder and more significant to the both of us.

It wasn’t until one night when the elder was escorting me back home did things ever progress. An invite inside of the home for some change of clothes and something to drink, had lead to talk. Some of the deepest secrets that both of us had bottled up had come out.

My dissatisfaction with the path my father and his second marriage, my desire to move out as soon as I could. I was planning to move out once I got into the right university, and pursued the education for the career that I wanted. I was working hard to get into the right local school that would allow me to study and fulfil my duties in the pack.

Bobby wasn’t unsatisfied with the path he had chosen. The man had a sure fire career set up for him in his father’s company, all he needed to do was work hard and to prove himself and he would get what he wanted. His father however wanted him to study abroad in America, but bobby didn’t want to leave Korea, or his friends or me.

Over the last couple of months, we had genuinely started becoming important to each other. Our bond had strengthened, we were liked steel, we couldn’t and wouldn’t be broken. So it was cute to see that Bobby couldn’t do without me, that he was fighting his family to stay in town, to be near me, that was what I was choosing to believe. We were each other’s comfort and trust in the toughest of times. I loved him.

“Can you give him up for me?” Bobby asks breaking the tense moment, his hand sliding up to my knee, my attention back to him. “Can you give Choi Youngjae up for me?” he knew how I felt for Youngjae. It had been almost six years since I had first met Youngjae, since he had imprinted on me at the aquarium and every day since has been filled with Youngjae.

Despite the link that we had, I had tried to keep my distance from him. I had to stay away for him, for his own good. The boy that I had fallen in love with, I realised very early on from watching over him, that he wasn’t someone who could fall in love with me. Not while I was a woman, and I had a feeling there was someone much closer to him he would always love.

Bobby knew that I never planned to pursue things with Youngjae, similar to the way he had given up on Hayi. He had decided that as long as Hayi was happy with her choice, which I suspected the stubborn woman would be reluctant to admit if she wasn’t. so Bobby was left with the reality that he could either chase after the girl who was obsessed with his best friend, or find a happiness of his own, I could be that happiness.

“Can you pick me?” Bobby turns to look at me, his eyes full of hope. My heart flutters wildly, I still could have love if I wanted it. So I would take it with both hands and have no regrets in the future. What could go if I had Bobby by my side? We could take anything down.

 

19 years old

 

As I sit in front of the hotel’s dressing table, trying to do my make up as quickly as I could, I could sense my best friend’s presence. Through the mirror I could see the tense expression on her face. She had something to say to me, and she was just bursting to say it. So I sigh and turn around to my best friend, looking her in the eye I wait for her to speak.

“Are you sure about this?” in record time the other bursts, I wonder how long she had held that in. We had been in Vegas for a couple of days, we had been hanging out and not a peep had come from her, until now half an hour before the ceremony to take place. Of course she would choose this time to air out her doubts, still the same ditzy bitch I could call a best friend. I loved her, but she had the worst timing.

Yun questions reasons for marrying my long-time boyfriend Kim Bobby. The girl was fond of him, but she still had some doubts. She wanted to know if I was I sure. How could I marry him and not be in love with him? Why hadn’t I tried with Youngjae?

“It’s not like it’s not possible, he’s imprinted on you, that means you’re halfway there” she reasons for the nth time. “I can’t you know that, He’s with someone” we had gone over this so many times. But it seemed that Yun would never be satisfied with the fact that I wasn’t trying harder.

“He should be with you” Yun complains. “Says who” I counter stubbornly. “Says the very fibre of your being” she retorts making me role my eyes. Yun reaches for my hand, she tugs until my attention is back focused on her.

“You and Bobby doing this, marrying different people when your ones are out there. Why did you never fight for Youngjae, why did you latch onto Bobby?” Yun asks as if she didn’t know. So I repeat it again. Because I love Youngjae. Because if I don’t let go of Youngjae and let him live a happy life then I would regret it for all of my life.

This was something I had thought over so many times, and I knew that I would regret being with him, when he was only bought there by desire and not love. I wanted his love more than anything, I didn’t want his love if it wasn’t real and true. I love Bobby, he was closest thing I was ever going to get to what I wanted from Youngjae.

It had been so many years that had passed since we had been together. We had begun a friends with benefits, people who understood each other, and now we had become so important to each other. I struggled to see my life without Bobby. Sure we weren’t imprinted on each other, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t make it work.

There were no rules that you had to chase after your one and force them to fall for you. “No, buts written in your DNA, you’re supposed to be with the one who imprints on you, you’re supposed to procreate” Yun tries to argue. I interrupt my well-meaning friend. I knew that she worried about me. That she had seen me down in the dumps because I couldn’t be with Youngjae.

Yun knew that I loved him, and that it was something that wasn’t going to disappear and she was trying to get me to try and fight for my love and for myself. However, I had decided many years ago that I would never force myself into Youngjae’s love, not when he had been dealing with something so delicate as his sexuality and how it affected himself and others.

Finding out he was attracted to the opposite sex, was a hard pill to swallow. Especially when he had been continuously in relationships with other men. He was gay and I couldn’t change that, I wasn’t going to confuse him even more. If he felt some sort of feeling towards me, I didn’t want him to question himself and struggle even more.

So I had always just satisfied myself with the fact that as long as he was happy, then I would be. Although it had only been a few times, I had seen Youngjae on his return to Mokpo. The other man was in a relationship with a police officer he had met in Seoul, the two seemed happy and content with each other. Of course Youngjae was clueless when it came to my feelings for him, he saw me as a friend and that was the impression I tried to give him.

There would be no way I would ruin his happiness. I wasn’t going to stand in the way of my own happiness either. I deserved some happiness of my own, I deserved to be loved. I had found the person who could love, respect and understand me and years together, we were making the big comment towards each other.

For years we had discussed it, the possibility of being married but it wasn’t until recently that the desire to do so had grown. We were now at the stage where we would be making a fresh start, moving to New York. Bobby would be trying to build up a gaming headquarter for his family business, he was hard working and determined and he took care of the both of us.

Not that I sat back and let him do all the work, no I had worked well with my skill set. I hadn’t always been the most studious type, but I did have my talents in life and they were helping me set up a business of my own. I was passionate about the web toons that I put together.

With the help of my creative best friend Heo Yun, we had tapped into our talents and put together a toon series that had become very popular. It had started as a pet project, while we worked our normal nine to five, we did this in our spare time.

Fortunately, we had found some success of our own, before Bobby with his own money away from his father’s company supported us financially. He set up his own publishing company, and with that we began to do market and merchandise the product and have seen a lot of profit come from him. It was a business venture for Bobby and I, there was no personal connection involved in it.

Even though none of Kims nor Bobby were concerned about me signing one, I did suggest that we do that just to keep things clean between the two of us. We would be married, without any kinds of ulterior motives.

It would be comfortable, and we had decided that for the exchanging of vows we would do it with just a small and close circle. The wedding ceremony would be done in Vegas, just two of us and our close friends. I had chosen Yun as my bridesmaid, she was my closest friend and I knew that I needed her support and wise words. Bobby had invited his best friend Kim Hanbin, even though his wife was pregnant with his first child.

Hanbin had come from Paris to Vegas to join his best friend, he was loyal to his best friend and despite starting his own family, he was travelling across the world to see his wife play his role as the best man. Even though there was a bit of tension in the air between them, since Hanbin had gotten married, Bobby had always disapproved of it. Not only because he was worried about Hanbin giving up his freedom and love, to feed into his parent’s emotional blackmail.

The other reason that Bobby had disapproved for his friend’s marriage was that the woman who his friend was so reluctant to be married to, was the woman who had imprinted on him. It was heart-breaking for him, but Bobby had to work through it all.

Bobby had kept a distance as to not get things muddy, but even still through all of it, he and Hanbin are as close as they had always been. They would support each other through whatever, whether they agreed or not. The same went for Yun, despite her concerns for me and the decision that I was making to marry, she was here for me.

“Are you sure about this?” the woman asks one more time. “You could do this later, with your friends and your family” Yun suggests. Bobby and I had decided to wed in this Vegas ceremony, then later on in a few months we would have a blessing ceremony in front of friends and family.

I knew our parents would feel a little disappointed, but the pair of us had the desire to simply marry in a small ceremony to keep the purity and happiness of the act from being intruded on by other people’s opinions and visions.

“Are you sure that you can give up on Choi Youngjae?” Yun’s forehead creases, her eyebrows knitting together. Eyes brimming with concern, she had stopped everything that was going on. I was currently sporting a half curly, half straight hair style. We only had half an hour before the ceremony would start, and I was running short for time. But I had to reassure my friend, I had to reassure myself. I didn’t want there to be doubts.

“You look beautiful” Yun says with tears brimming over. To a stranger’s eyes, her reaction seemed to be an overreaction, but it fits my friend so well. Yun was so sensitive to my feelings, over the years we had become like family, she was my sister and I was hers. She has seen my highs and lows, she was tapped into my emotions, and she knew how hard I had struggled. The woman didn’t want me to ever struggle me.

“I will never give up on Choi Youngjae…” I let her know that just because there would be no romantic relationship between the two of us, didn’t mean I would ever give up on Choi Youngjae. As long as he was alive and in my life, then I could be satisfied. “You’re going round in circles, you say you want to be happy, but then you say it’s only if Youngjae is happy. But it has to be your own happiness Jjong!” Yun argues, she holds my hand pleading me, she was testing me.

My hands were shaking, I was wavering. What she was saying was something that I had always thought about, it had run through my head. One day just grabbing Youngjae by the hand and never letting go, but that was something that I could never do. I wanted someone to want me, to grab my hand and to hold onto it. I wanted someone to love me as much as I loved them, I wanted a love that didn’t make me tired.

Yun’s facial expression slowly relaxes; she wipes away the few tears she had shed before pulling me into a hug. She pats me on the back, with no more questions or arguments, I’m sure the doubts lingered, but she was letting it go. I was letting it go too, because it was time to move.

24 years old.

 

“Are you just going to keep watching this?” Hyojin asks disapprovingly. The elder had been watching me replay the CCTV footage from my laptop. We were sat in my bedroom. I was still in my silk pyjamas, I had called the elder over and hadn’t even bothered to get changed before she got there. I wasn’t thinking about getting dressed, I wasn’t thinking of much. Still in shock, what I was watching was something that was hurting me.

To be honest, I hadn’t been expecting to feel this hurt. After all the last few months I could tell that things had changed. Bobby wasn’t around as often as he had been, he was working more, he was rushing off in the morning and arriving back when I was sleep. I knew that work wasn’t keeping him this busy. When he had been busy with work he had always kept contact with me, he had been that way in the beginning of our marriage at least. Sure there were some occasions where he had been too busy to call back but at the very least I got a text back. I got to see my husband’s excuse. I was even told truthfully if he had met a girl at a club and he had headed over to her home. We had a open marriage so of course I knew.

In turn the man knew when I happened to be in the company of other men. It worked well, especially when we were across the world from each other, like we had been for the last few months. I was in Seoul working at headquarters with a television network who was adapting our web toon for a television series. It was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up and I understood that Bobby was busy so I let him work across the world.

“So someone sent you this, who?” Hyojin questions. I had been so shocked by the footage of the email that I hadn’t been able to see who could have sent me off into a spiral. The clip of my husband and a new play thing it seemed in a hotel room chomping each other’s faces, it showed a lustful making out session but it cuts off before there is a development.

Why was I so shocked if we had an open marriage? Well, it was because I didn’t know who this woman was. Bobby had omitted information about her, he had never told me he was with anyone, not recently. He had purposely hidden this woman. She was a real affair, and that showed how much our relationship had deteriorated.

“What do you plan to do?” Hyojin knew everything. I had never hidden anything, and I could tell she was lacking in some sympathy towards my situation. Having an open marriage, it was something that she had told me would be a bad idea that would bite me in the ass later on. Sooner than I had expected, Hyojin’s warning was coming true. I had been so foolish.

Defeated by one woman whose name I didn’t know; it ends just like that. The trust that I had built up for him had gone, I couldn’t trust him. There was no way he could explain this away, not when we had always talked and made sure the other knew what was being thought. If he could lie about this one girl, what else had he been lying about.

My head bursts thinking, I was so hurt overwhelmed by my feelings of betrayal and hurt. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, I just needed someone here, someone that I trusted. Hyojin is there, seeing that I wasn’t exactly in the best state to be lectured, the elder pulls me into her arms.

“Cry as much as you want, then once you’re done. We figure out what do next” the woman pledges her support and loyalty once again. So I take my place in her arms. I was grateful for her. Stroking through my hair, the woman who had always been like a mother for me, is there to comfort me.

26 years old.

 

“Bartender can I have another one please?” I was a little buzzed from my first shot of vodka, but I wasn’t buzzed enough. ” Actually make that two” I wanted to make sure I was legless as the British said. My heart was racing; I was so embarrassed by what had just happened. Not only embarrassed but flustered, one minute I was walking down the streets with Choi Youngjae, the next we were making out in front of an audience.

Granted the general public didn’t care about who Youngjae and I were or if we were kissing. But we did have an audience of two, that being my ex-boyfriend and his new extremely attractive, slender and younger girlfriend.

The day had started pretty strangely for me to begin with. Despite knowing that we were in the same city for a few weeks, I had done my best not to reach out and let Youngjae do his thing. I was doing my own thing; I was working with a small publication in France who was interested in my animations. It wasn’t anything big, nor was it small, it was just work.

It wasn’t until today by chance I received a call from Youngjae announcing that he had been in Paris for a while, and that he had found out that I had also been there. The man said he had wanted to meet up with me once before he headed off back to Korea. Like an idiot, I willing agree to it, because what Youngjae said, I did, as long as it made him happy.

It had been so long since I had seen his face, I had almost forgotten what the other man looked like. That was until I opened the door up to him that afternoon. I knew that Youngjae wasn’t a morning person, so I had purposely steered our day out to happen after midday. The man arrives not long after one in the afternoon, he was freshly dressed, in a light blue blouse, with dark blue dress trousers and a pair of black loafers.

He looked absolutely divine, totally suiting the paris spring mood. He looked intercontinental, cute and light. He was a beacon for me, brightening up the day already. My heart flutters through the afternoon spent with him, we catch up. Over food, we chat and discuss all the things we had never really gotten to over the years. There was so much we didn’t know about each other. But as usual there was a comfortable energy between us, it felt right.

Being around Youngjae, it felt natural. He wasn’t someone who I struggled for conversation around, he was bright, bubbly and full of humour. Despite his rumoured recent breakup, none of that seemed to be lingering across his face. I hadn’t seen this face on Youngjae in a long time, being able to see him like this, made me greedy to have it all for myself.

That afternoon passes by so quickly, the mood is so easy and breezy. I thank Youngjae for a fun afternoon, and decide to cut the night off like that. Using work as an excuse, I realise that the more I spent with him, the greedier I got for the high that I got from him. So deciding it was best to cut myself off before I made things harder, I decide to head off.

Except Youngjae insists on escorting me to my apartment, the man was being very chivalrous and I was grateful for it. He insists that he was doing it to continue chatting with me, the man had so many funny stories to tell from his travels around Europe. He seemed to be in a very good mood.

As we turn onto the road towards my hotel, I spot approaching me as if to taunt me was an ex fling, a boyfriend would be giving him too much. I had a ex-boyfriend after my divorce with Bobby, but this man didn’t count as that. He was a hook up who had gotten very clingy towards me, and seeing him around my hotel room with this woman it seemed very contrived.

My attempt to try and avoid the man, to keep my face hidden fails as he zones in on me and rushes towards me. Holding onto his new trophy girl, the man greets me with confidence. He introduces me to what his girlfriend’s name is, and begins to brag about how he had moved on. The man was obsessed, so much he hadn’t even been introduced to Youngjae, he was just more focused on trying to embarrass me and it works.

In front of Youngjae, I was being taunted by this pathetic little man. The woman next to him was very ditzy and not with it, she didn’t seem to know or care about the passive attacks her man was throwing at me. But Youngjae does, and that’s when he takes hold of my hand. Just at the touch of his hands, I turn to face Youngjae surprised. The man was holding my hand in such a tight grip, it was hard to let go, not that I felt like it.

Youngjae is extremely affectionate, though touch. He strokes through my hair, politely introducing himself as my new boyfriend. His English wasn’t great but it was still understandable, but it seems to shock my former lover who had desperately wanted that title only for me to dump him and not long after to show up with someone else, or so it looked like.

To add the cherry on top of this lie, Youngjae cups my face and with confidence, the man leans into kiss me right on my lips. Pressing a soft, kiss upon my lips, it’s brief but turns the butterflies I had been seeing into winged beasts, I felt like I was going to lose function of my legs, I didn’t know how to stand up or walk. But Youngjae’s hand at my lower back seems to help or hinder that, I wasn’t quite sure.

Everything kind of just disappears, after all I had just shared my first kiss with Youngjae. And I knew he did it to save me from my obvious embarrassment and it was extremely sweet of him to do so, but I had imagined such a moment happening so many times, so for it to happen just like that, I was going a little insane.

I don’t know how long I’m in a post Choi Youngjae kiss daze for, but by the time I snap out of it, the pair are at the hotel’s bar. Located at the bottom floor, the pair of us had sat by the bar. Youngjae was still complaining about the man and how gross he had been to try and embarrass me. He has a few questions he asks out of curiosity, but he doesn’t push it when I brush off the man and the relevancy he had for me.

After half an hour of drinks and chat, in which Youngjae doesn’t bring the kis or how it felt. My mind becomes distracted with the feeling taking over my body, I feel myself slowly catch on fire. I feel like I was literally on fire, and I knew it wasn’t a side effect of the drink. I knew exactly what it was, as the blood rushes through me. My heart was racing, the hairs on my arms stand up and certain parts of my body suddenly become tender. This feeling was very rare, but I knew being out in the open at a time like this wasn’t the best plan for action.

So as quickly as I can, I excuse myself from Youngjae and thank him for the night. I rush off without waiting for his reply and I head up to my room. The lift fortunately is empty and waiting for me, but it takes its time to close up and by that time it’s far too late to stop the events that follow.

Before the lift doors have a chance to close, a hand sneaks through the doors and forces the lift wide open again. Wide eyed, I watch on as Youngjae enters the lift and stands right in front of me, his eyes are just as wide, and his breathing was a little shallow. He was sweating a little bit, letting me know that it had already started.

As soon as the doors to the lift close, Youngjae has leaned forward closing the space between us and he’s already leaning in to kiss me. His soft lips once again send my knees to jelly, I was weak to his touch. The man reaches for my waist and holds me up against the back of the lift. Pressing his body on mine, I can feel just how firm and strong he had gotten.

In a flash we reach my floor, and in the haze of our passionate kiss we somehow find ourselves in my room. Our lips hadn’t left each other, in fact the kiss had deepened, there was tongue involved. There were hands now exploring bodies. Youngjae had already groped my ass enough times for me to realise that this was going to end the way I had hoped to avoid.

We were both lost in something that was almost impossible to avoid. We were in the middle of my heat, I had picked the wrong time and date to be around Youngjae. I had tried for so long to avoid it. I was already pretty hard to resist when I was going through my heat, but for the person who had imprinted on me to be around made things much stronger for him.

My heat wasn’t something that I could predict, it had happened on and off. A few times a year, I would have to stay away from the opposite sex, I would seclude myself and wait for the next few days to pass by. When I was married to Bobby, it just meant that we were more sexually active around that time and it worked out well for us.

Being single made it a little harder and more awkward, but I had always managed not to get myself caught in trouble, but here I was in my hotel room with the man I loved so much. He was my whole world, he was the person I had loved through most of my life, he was someone I would love until I died and he had gotten caught up in this moment. I was too weak to push him away, I was caught up in the lust.

The kiss deepens, as soon as the door of my hotel suite closes behind me it all becomes chaotic. Clothes start being removed and fly across the room, lips still attached in a hard, sloppy kiss. Youngjae picks me up by my thighs, demonstrating the strength he had gained over the years, the man carries me over into bathroom. Spotting the smooth counter, the man puts me down, and still continues to kiss me.

Press against the mirror, Youngjae presses his body against me. I feel on his soft, supple but firm body. His flesh felt surprisingly hot, my hands slide through his hair and down his neck pulling him deeper into the messy but passionate kiss. A moan escapes my lips as Youngjae bites of my lip, before returning to deepen the kiss, it catches me off and sends me over the edge.

My lungs felt like they were going to burn up, but I still wasn’t going to pull away. Youngjae’s hands slide from my thighs, and upwards toward my breasts, he gropes them through my silk slip. I groan through our kiss, the is the first to pull away. Eyes clouded over with pure animalistic lust, he turns me around to face the mirror, I take sight of my appearance for the first time. My cheeks were ruddy, hair was wild and messy, my slip was hanging on by a thread but I could give a shit how I looked.

My eyes find themselves back on Youngjae, he was stood behind me removing his boxers he was completely nude. His body was built, toned and perfect, he had no idea how Adonis like he looked in this moment. The man didn’t seem to care how he looked, he was so focused on us and what he was going to do, that becomes even more of a turn on.

Lifting my ass up a little, Youngjae grips his cock before stroking himself. He had been hard all this time, but this was the first time I was taking real notice of it. His size wasn’t something to look down, I feel my cheeks heat up, but still I was waiting and anticipating. There isn’t much of a wait, before Youngjae pulls down my thong and pushes himself inside of me.

Placing my thigh on top of the counter, Youngjae positions himself to thrust inside of me. I arch my back and move myself closer to him, I plead for him to push in deeper. Youngjae reaches to cup my face, he leans in to kiss me and I feel him push more of himself inside of me. My walls expand and surround his dick, he keeps pushing himself further and deeper inside of me, he takes it slow.

His muscular arms wrap around my body pulling me closer to him, I whine out of the pleasure that I feel. Youngjae starts thrusting inside of me, he starts off slow and gently, he reaches to cup and grope my breasts. I moan calling Youngjae's name, he was driving me crazy. Looking through the mirror, I see Youngjae was so passionate, his lips were hovering over the nape of my neck.

Animalistic, Youngjae keeps going thrusting harder inside of me. It’s exactly what I need, I turn to look through the mirror unable to rip my gaze away from the man thrusting inside of me. He keeps thrusting but going harder and harder, his treatment of my core gets rougher and it feels so good.

Youngjae moans loudly and keeps thrusting inside of me, I grit my teeth hard taking his harder treatment. Eyes closed feeling pleasure, I groan in pleasure he leans in to lick and bite down. It’s sharp and painful, I try and push him away because I knew we were in some trouble. This was a ritual; it was the haze of the heat that was taking over me.

Youngjae reaches for my arm pulling it behind me, he continues to bite and thrust inside of me. Distracted by the pleasure that I feel, so I reach down to my clit and rubbing until I feel a knot tightens up in my stomach. Youngjae keeps going thrusting hard inside of me. I turn to watch Youngjae his eyes focused on my ass as he keeps thrusting inside of me, I moan and beg him to keep going harder.

Focused on me, Youngjae moves his hands to at my waist and grips tightly he continues to thrust into me with more force. The room is silent apart from the sound of my loud moaning and the slapping of skin. He cups and gropes making me throb between my thighs. I lean on the counter and turn to watch as Youngjae picks up the pace of his thrusts, he pounds inside of me harder and harder until I start to gasp for my breast.

Eyes closed and I moan out loud, Youngjae leans over to me and cups my breasts he squeezes and gropes them. I watch Youngjae unable to believe he is capable of this; he was almost like a different person. He moans as he keeps going thrusting harder and harder, he pushes me onto the counter my body shakes at the force of which he is thrusting into me.

Tears flow down my face, he keeps thrusting into me. I moan excited feeling that tight knot build in my gut, I close my eyes concentrating on making my orgasm come. "Right there" I say in hopes to encourage him, I reach down to my clit and start rubbing, as Youngjae keeps thrusting harder and harder.

Once again, Youngjae bites down on me and he keeps going until eventually I feel myself come, my walls tightly around his cock. I flop onto the counter and Youngjae continues to thrust inside of me, until finally he grunts and I feel come inside of me.

Youngjae flops onto me, he pants heavily and he watches me closely. Looking through the mirror, I stare at Youngjae whose eyes were now closed. He looked almost to be coming down from the haze, he was still inside of me and he wasn’t moving. I could still feel him breathing behind me, when I try to pull from him his hands wrap around my waist keeping me on him, giving me no choice but to stay with him. If Youngjae wanted it like this, then I would do it the way he wanted.

27 years old.

 

The smell of coffee strong. The café usually did smell of coffee, but today it was much stronger, it was feeling a little nauseous but recently anything could make me feel that way. I was so sensitive, and I was using all my willpower not to throw up. As long as I didn’t eat too much, then I could survive for now without throwing up in front of everyone. I especially didn’t want to throw up in front of the snooty man in front of me.

University lecturers, doctor Kim Jaeyoung was an extremely handsome man. He looked like he should be modelling; his luscious brown hair was swept up to show his handsome face. He was well dressed, wearing a dark green woollen jumper that covers his strong and large shoulders. He was so broad, and wide, he was totally a model-like visual. I can’t help but sigh and thinking of how much I must lack in in comparison.

Sat across from him in the quiet corner of the Happy Café, the man had invited me to sit down with him, to talk. After a couple of days of being avoided by his boyfriend, I had decided to sit down with the other man in hopes that maybe he could help me out. The man in our few interactions had always seemed quite sensible and polite, he was straightforward and if he knew what the situation that had gone on between Youngjae and I then maybe he could help me just clear things up.

It had been five months since Youngjae and I had been caught up in the middle of my heat. We had been caught up in it for a few days, Youngjae couldn’t leave once we had sex for the first time. Once he had started, there was no resisting. If he tried to leave, then the both of us would feel an overwhelming, bitter and harsh pain. It was nature’s way to force us to procreate, we would be in pain if we were too far from each other.

The only relief that either of us could get from the overwhelming pain, was to be around to each other. Being caught up in my heat and haze, there was no other option but to have sex. Youngjae had stayed with me, the pair of us were so caught up in each other. At least it felt that way when we were in the haze, but as soon as it dropped, without any word Youngjae left me alone in the hotel room, with a simple text that explained that he had been talking to Kim Jaeyoung and they would be pursuing their relationship.

Admittedly I had been heartbroken, but it wasn’t like I was surprised. It would have been hard for Youngjae to cut things off with me in person, but he would have had to cut things off after what had happened. I accepted it, if it was what Youngjae wanted to do then I could and would do what he needed. I was a fool when it came to Youngjae, I would do what he needed and wanted from me.

I had been so ready to try and move on, of course it hurt and it would take some time for me to get over the events of what happened in Paris. In fact I had even moved to New York, to keep myself far away from those thoughts. But months passed and as my heart was feeling some ease, I began to feel changes to my body. I felt myself getting sicker and weaker, and more sensitive to everything.

One doctor’s visit later, I discovered that I was with child. It wasn’t too much of a surprise, I had known the risks that came with what happened between Youngjae and I in my heat. The heat itself was to aid procreation, and with Youngjae being my imprint, he had bitten on me and basically insured that the pregnancy would happen. No contraceptives would work to stop it, it had been set into motion and now I was pregnant.

Pregnant with the child of the man that I loved the most, the man who had been ignoring my texts and calls. Every form of communication. So I was forced to try and speak to him face to face. I had been in town a couple of days and had tried to bump into the other man, to speak to him but every time he saw my face, the panic was written on his face and he rushed away.

“I’m sorry Youngjae couldn’t be the one to do this today” the tall handsome man says, his expression straight faced. “It’s best if you don’t further contact Youngjae” the man who had been a more recent addition in Youngjae’s life, was without any remorse requesting or rather stating that I should stay away from Youngjae. He was so cold and removed, he was truly unlikable to me in this situation.

“Whatever happened in Paris should remain in Paris” my heart drops, so surely he knew and didn’t care about my time with Youngjae. “My boyfriend doesn’t want or need the complications that you would bring” he coldly looks me up and down, as if I were something disgusting to him. Had Youngjae told him something for him to be reacting this way.

“His life would be better without you in his life. It’s been better without you since he returned, you should know that” the man says taking one more sip of the water in front of him and then excusing himself. The man seemed unmoved, it seemed like he had just gotten a chore done. I was nothing, I was insignificant to him, and to Youngjae. I must be for him to send his boyfriend to send me off like this. I meant nothing…. Holding back my tears, I have to come to terms to that reality.

27 years old

 

The heart monitor had been consistently beeping, showing that I had stabilised after such a difficult few hours I had gone through. I was covered in sweat from all the effort I had exerted, but finally everything had ended. I was finally through the pain and feeling a few side effects, but the drugs which were being pumped through me were numbing it down.

Laying in my hospital bed, I watch as the nurse sits by my side. Despite what seemed like a busy work area, the woman had been sat with me for the last hour on my request. The cocoa skinned woman who looked to be in her mid-fifties, she had a warm motherly kind of aura. She had been with me through the birthing of my child, and right now she was by my side swaddling the new born whilst I recovered.

Seeming to understand my complicated situation as far as the lack of father around, the woman was simply being supportive and trying her best to strengthen the bond between me and my new born child. She had gone through a list of names with me, she had helped me decide on one and the pair of us had been chatting about nutrition for the child when we are joined by a visitor with flowers.

The person is someone I recognise immediately. I hadn’t been expecting to see him, but there he was. Dressed in a comfortable pair of grey joggers and hoodie, paired off with a pair of black trainers. He didn’t look like a company president, instead he seemed like any other New York-ite.

It had been around a year since I had seen my ex, last time was when I signed the divorce papers. The man had begged and pleaded for me to try and understand him, for me to try and take him back and he would cut off ties with the woman I had caught him with. The man had gone through so much guilt, but I had not given in and I had ended things and cut off contact with him, I had kept away from him but here he was with flowers.

Looks like he had tracked me down and found out that I was pregnant. Still hold some bitter feelings, I ask why he was here, wasn’t he supposed to be with his married girlfriend? The one he had hid from me, and from sources, I had heard they were still together. The man simply answers that he was here to see me.

“Go home” I dismiss the man, but he ignores me looking down at the baby in the nurse’s arms. He smiles introduces himself to the nurse and to the baby, before turning to me.

“So I have a couple of days off, so you have yourself a baby feeding, swaddling and nappy changer. The man offers his services and despite my attempt to reject him, Bobby is with me throughout the first day, when I sleep he’s there and when I wake up he’s there. By the time we leave the hospital, it looks almost as if I have reconciled with the father of my child to foreign eyes who had no idea the situation.

The next day when I wake up, I find Bobby was in kitchen with my son cradling and swaying the new-born. The tiny boy had taken to Bobby, and the sentiment was certainly returned. Bobby was grinning from ear to ear looking down at my little one. He had stated over and over how much the child looked like me, but it didn’t feel that way when I saw him. His father’s beautiful features were drawn so perfectly.

“Who’s the father?” Bobby like a dam that had been waiting to burst, finally releases the question he had been holding back all this time. “You don't need to know” I say carefully taking the sleeping baby in his arms. Despite this Bobby persists he was too curious.

“Who is it?” Bobby pushes once again. I ignore him and cradle baby looking down at the only person who mattered to me. “Why hadn't you asked anyone to come. What about your dad?” the man asks obviously concerned about how I seemed to be doing this alone.

“He's coming next week” my father had been in Korea busy with work and I had given birth a lot sooner than expected, he was supposed to be coming in couple of weeks. “You needed someone to be your side” Bobby says looking down at the new-born and I his eyes brimming with concern.

Taking that opportunity, I let him know that I was going be doing this alone I need to be used to it. “Who is it who’s the father he's not going to be the child's life” he continues to press on. “You shouldn't have to be doing this alone” the man insists, pushing me so I snap. “I love him. I love him so much and I don't want to disturb him” close to tears.

“It's Youngjae?” Bobby asks shocked, when I don’t answer there is a brief silence as he tries to process this face. “I love my child. I am enough” I tell Bobby sternly, there would be no arguing this. ”I'll support you whatever you need” the man promises, reaching his hand to stroke me through my hair. It seemed like the man wasn’t going to be giving up on me.

28 years old

The wind was a bit crisp and chilly at this time of year, but slowly a surely it was letting up. Winter would soon become spring and not long after that I’d have my favourite time of year. It would be summer; the time I was most comfortable in. For now, my son and I were wrapped up as warmly as we could and joining my father at the graveyard ten minutes away from the home he lived in at the top of the hill.

It had been a couple of hours that I had been back in my home town. I had already been dragged to the graveyard that I visited so many times as I had grown up. This time it wasn’t just for my mother, but I was here keeping my father company as he laid flowers for his newly deceased wife. Mrs Kim had passed away so suddenly leaving my father in a state, he was struggling.

Knowing that my father needed me, I was there to comfort him. The man seems to chipper up when seeing me and Noah. The man adores his grandson. He had been carrying the infant at any opportunity, as we walk out of the graveyard, the man brings up what I had been trying to so hard to avoid since I had stepped foot into Korea.

“Do you think it's fair to keep him away from his son?” my father asks as he he had asked so many times in the past. “He's in a relationship” I had heard that Youngjae was embarking on a serious relationship with a lawyer in town. “So? He's a man he needs to know his child” my father firmly replies. “Give him a choice” the man was firm, but I wasn’t. Honestly I didn't want to be rejected, it had hurt so much the first time round.

Despite being in town for such a short time, it must be because the town I had once lived in was so small that I bump into Youngjae. I had been going to the café to get something to drink and to catch up with Hyojin and Changkyun. It had been a while and there was so much to update each other on, but as I am about to enter. I bump into none other than Youngjae. He sees me with pram in hand, and there is a brief interaction, and although his eyes are curious, he doesn’t question. He didn’t want the complication, I knew it and so I excuse myself entering the café.

When I get there I am met by disapproval from Hyojin. She had seen our run in and had hoped that I would confess the truth. Her words echo those of my father, she wanted me to tell Youngjae about his child, but her words were easier said than done. Hyojin doesn’t push it seeing that I was shutting down, instead she serves me and we catch.

Later on I find myself in a very posh restaurant in the centre of town. I was sat with my ex-husband and his new sour faced girlfriend with my innocent son in his lap. The new girl watches Bobby holding Noah in his hand and playing with her with a mix of admiration, but disapproval, I guess she was conflicted. Seeing her man and his father potential, but it being with his ex-wife, I’m sure she swallowing a bitter sweet pill.

As the lunch continues I can sense some shady behaviours, some jealous passive actions. She was doing anything she could show her ownership. It gets to the point that I have to confront the woman, much to Bobby’s chagrin, but I don’t back down and neither does his woman.

“I love Bobby I don't like having you around him” Sung Kyung coldly replies. “With you lingering in the background Bobby can’t get over his guilt and he’ll feel the need to stick around you and the child” this catches Bobby’s irritation, without hesitation Bobby warns Sung Kyung that if she wants a future with him, then she needs to accept my relationship with him.

We weren’t lovers, but Bobby was still someone very close to me. He was like my best friend again, he had been there with me through the highs and lows. He had supported Noah and I whenever I needed held.

“There is more you’re going to have to accept if you want me” Bobby alludes to the fact he hadn’t told her about his identity as a wolf. “Are you the baby's father?” the woman accuses. “You know I'm not” Bobby replies. “Then why do you stick around her?” I sigh, feeling a bit uncomfortable, so I stand up and excuse myself. Taking my son with, leaving Bobby to his complicated situation with his shameless girlfriend.

On my way home, I bump into non other than Jinyoung. He had come out of a church and calls me over, the man was bright and smiling. We make friendly conversation catching up. It had been a while, and like many he takes to the cute Noah who was in a very warm mood today.

The man says he had returned to Mokpo for work, but it had been a bit awkward seeing Youngjae. He was trying to settle things between them, I wasn’t sure what he meant by that and I’m left even more confused when he admits that he seemed to be struggling when it came not to hurting Youngjae. As we talk I somehow slip. It was maybe because the man was a priest, he was someone who I felt comfortable around speaking to.

I admit Youngjae was the father of Noah, something that doesn’t seem to surprise Youngjae’s ex. “You know Youngjae won't feel the way you want for him and that's what you're putting off “the man sees through me with ease. “Youngjae is someone who loves a lot. Giving all his love to your child, that what's right for your child” the man simply puts it, but still I’m left conflicted.

Later on in the day I get a message through our connection from Hyojin, she tells me to come over to the café. She says that Changkyun had been hurt during a fight and she needed my help. Unsure how I could help, I still rush over to check on him. Hoseok who was an ace at patching up anyone was standing outside of the café; it leaves me surprised when I see him casually standing outside of the café.

He claims that there was a little domestic happening and in a couple of minutes I could go inside and talk to the couple. While we wait the man melts into a puddle for Noah who was now sleeping, the man was already planning on becoming his sensei type figure when he grows up. He had already planned out Noah’s “rise to alpha pack leader” it was funny to see Hoseok be this way with the younger.

After a little while of playing with the baby, Hoseok suddenly excuses me and tells me to head into the café. So I do, I head towards the entrance and bump into none other than Youngjae. Once again. The man looks startled when he sees me, he hadn’t been expecting to see me.

My heart was racing; I had seen him already once today but I hadn’t been expecting to see him again. Not when my head was all over the place, I was having a hard time trying to get my thoughts in line. Panicked, I sharply turn and make my way back away heading home.

“Is he my son?” Youngjae finally asks. I stop in my tracks overwhelmed, my face was heating up, my head hurt, I felt like I was going to explode. “Is he my child?” Youngjae asks, this time sounding a bit more firm. Looking down at the young boy in my arms, my precious son who meant everything to me. I knew how I answered the question not only affected me, but it affect him. With a word I turn to Youngjae, I was determined to face him and answer his question, but as soon as my face lands on his face, I become a quivering mess and break into tears. All I can do is nod my head to answer him, cause words wouldn’t work in my state, I was so scared.

32 years old


	12. ...Complicated

“Choi Noah… That's his name” Junghwa says, ruffling through the hair of the small infant in her arms. When I look at him asleep in his mother’s arms, I can see all the features that were my own. Junghwa continues to list out some attributes about the boy, like his birthday, his age, his height and weight. The woman had calmed down a little, she was no longer tearful, she had gathered herself and was no longer jittery.

 

 

Changkyun and Hyojin had allowed us to sit in the empty café to sit and catch up and boy was a there a lot of catching up to do. So I sit and listen to Junghwa speak and ask the questions that I needed to when the opportunity comes up. Junghwa seems to be relieved the more speaks, the more she is able to get off her chest, and any bitterness that I would have had towards dissipates.

 

 

There was no way this had been easy for her, there was no way she would have kept me away from my child, not without good reason. I was pretty sure I had been the person who had been responsible for her feeling like she had to hide this from me. So I knew there was a lot of work on my part to make this up, but from what I could see from her body language was that she wasn't holding a grudge.

 

With a soft and fond smile, she watches our child. As she does I wonder how she could have it alone? How could she have raised what seemed to be a happy and healthy child for nearly four years? He was a beautiful child who I could not rip my eyes from. I had for so long dismissed the desire to have children, but here he was in front of me. My own child and the happy fluttering didn't seem to stop, I was already enamoured.

 

Junghwa talk for a couple of hours, she explains that although she had been willing to raise Noah alone, she had put me on the birth certificate and given him my last name. Junghwa wanted to have a connection with me and if one day he wanted to reach to me, he would be able to find me.

 

The woman reveals that she would be in town for the next couple of weeks for her father, we had some more talking to do but that she would love for Noah and I to meet up and bond. Stroking the young boys hair, she recognises that the boy was restless, but with the boy awake, I can see a cuteness to him. The stubborn boy tugs at his mother to take him home, so I escort her home feeling extra protective over my son and his mother already.

 

Once Junghwa and the boy head inside the home, I head back to Younghyun’s house to check up on him. When I get back in using the key he leant me, I find Jinyoung in the living room cleaning up some of the belongings. In fact, the whole apartment seems to have been given a once over, it wasn't out of the ordinary for the elder. Even when we had lived together, the man had been a little bit of clean freak.

What was out of the ordinary however, was the look on Jinyoung’s eyes when he spots me. Immediately I can sense that something was off, to his detriment, the elder had a very expressive face. He looked a little tense, but also there was some guilt in the air. Had something gone wrong? Had Younghyun woken up in my time away? Had they argued?

 

“So I'll let you take over…” Jinyoung says as he rushes off, the man claims he had some paper work to do, but I can't quite believe it. However I do t get to confront him, he's out of the house pretty quickly. I don't have the great desire to check in on that, everything was happening was complicated enough and well what I was about to do was taking up a lot of space in my mind.

 

When I get into Younghyun’s room, I find that the elder was sat up watching TV. He had struggled to settle into his sleep once I had left, and so he had much like Jinyoung done a bit of cleaning, with bed sheets cleaned and his clothes out away. He had washed and dressed up in some new clothes and was marathoning some junk television.

 

Much like Jinyoung, the man holds an expression that wasn’t natural. He looked a little tense, I can tell he was trying to seem relaxed but I could sense the opposite feeling from me. When I ask if he was alright, the man excuses it as his crankiness from such a short nap and sleep. 

 

Although I wasn't one hundred per cent convinced, I move the subject on and begins to have a tough subject. I tell the man we needed to speak, and just from my tone the man’s expression becomes even more grim. Despite the pressure I was feeling not to hurt the elder or to do this so soon after such a dramatic turn of events. I knew that putting it off would only make things so much worse.

 

So starting off the conversation, I apologise, I hadn’t been completely honest with him. In fact, I had made such a big deal about being honest and now I realise that I had been the one who had been omitting so much of the truth. When I express my apologies, the man seemed to be up against the wall and he looked extremely tense.

 

“Things have gotten complicated for me” I try to explain to the elder. “is it Yien?” Younghyun carefully asks. Amongst other things yes, I had to admit the truth, Yien wasn’t someone who I could easily toss aside. That move always seemed to bite me in the ass, I ended being a coward who makes the mother of his child believe that he wants nothing to do with said child. I had majorly fucked up with Junghwa and I was willing to do anything to make it up with her.

 

With all these thoughts on my mind, I tell the elder that I thought it would be the best thing if were to break up. Once those words leave my mouth, Younghyun watches me surprised. He looked surprised and confused and questions why I was suddenly asking this.

 

“After everything we’ve been through?” it was true that we had gone through a lot, especially in such a short time. But I couldn't let the pull of loyalty make me go through the motions, especially when I couldn't be fully loyal to him, not with Yien challenging that.

 

“Are you going to be with Yien?” the man asks suspiciously. “I felt like maybe it was time if I really tried things with the elder” I try to honestly express myself to the elder. I had been running away from Tuan Yien long enough and I needed to stop running away from what I was scared of. This was the first time I had been this honest with the elder about my feelings for the man I had always insisted was my best friend.

 

“What if I said I would wait for you. If things between you two don’t work out” Younghyun reaches out almost desperately. “I don’t want you to do that” I tell the elder. The man asks why, wouldn't I like to be be pursued by two men? I reassure him that I was didn't plan on failing with Yien.

 

“Right, so I get kidnapped and hurt and now you break up with me? this day just gets better” the man mumbles bitterly. I apologise, I knew how frustrating it would be for the elder but I had to do it. I had to do the right thing, I didn't want to give him false hope.

 

“You seem so certain about this?” Younghyun questions me. I nod my head, I'd didnt want to show any inkling of doubt or uncertainty. I needed to end this as cleanly as possible.

 

“Stay with me for one more night. I just got attacked, it’s the least you can do” I didn't know whether this was as simple as he was saying or if there were other intentions. I stay with the elder, I would be sure to control myself. Fortunately, the man rests in my arms, I stay with him until he’s deep in his sleep.

 

Once Younghyun is asleep, I tuck him in for the night and I head over to my apartment. As soon as I step out of the apartment, I see waiting outside was a wolf that I recognised. As I step closer, the wolf bursts into his human form appearing as the very handsome, naked toned Shin Hoseok. With him in the distance were a few wolves hidden.

 

The man says according to his pack leader, he would be the one to be looking out for me. “When the pack leaders best friend is attacked, of course he would be intense” the man playfully comments. “Your alpha should be protecting the whole town, not just his best friend” I reply disapproving of him.

 

“You’re the key to saving the whole city” he says so seriously and resolutely. My stomach lurches my feeling of discomfort, I didn't quite like having such a big responsibility put up on me.

 

“That cute short chick Hyerin, she said like this earlier on, she seems to really believe in you” Hoseok says whilst he fondly strokes through my hair. I didn’t have a good feeling about her, Hoseok seems to sense that. “She will help you out” I shrug a little too bothered by the interactions that we had already had, she was someone that was hiding something, I was sure of it.

 

“Who’s with Yien?” I ask the elder as he walks with me through the dark and silent town. It was early in the morning and not many people were out and about walking around. “Some of the cute Cubs. Jikyu wants to take down the anyone who would touch his favourite uncle Yien” the man says with a fond chuckle. “I'll stay over at your place, if that's okay” I ask the elder whose eyes light up.

 

“You're staying with my precious roommate?” Hoseok’s milky teeth show in a wide grin. I don't go into much detail, but the elder agrees to let me stay over and he stays downstairs in my apartment block whilst I collect a change of clothes from my home which had been earlier broke into. I check that everything is secure on my way out and head back down to meet the elder who reports no suspicious behaviour.

 

Escorted by the Hoseok, I go to his shared apartment with Yien. The elder had been up and awake since I had left him to speak to Junghwa. I had texted him to let him know where I was periodically since then, but when I do return the man looks to be overwhelmingly relieved. I guess he had been more concerned than he had made out to be, the chaos of the last few days lead me to believe that he had fair warning to feel that way.

 

The man is quick to lead me from the apartment foyer to his room, even though a few hours had passed since we had last seen each other there had been so many things that had happened since then. The man listens as I reveal the truth about Junghwa, and my paternity of her child. Even though he had suspected it, he still looked a little surprised.

 

It takes the elder back a little and I watch him slowly try to process it all He tries to figure out what this meant for me. With a child in my life what was I going to do? Would I be co-parenting? Would I try to looking for custody, or would I follow Junghwa to New York to be closer to my child and his mother. Those were all some things that were left up in the air, but one thing is certain, Yien would be staying by my side.

 

As part of my update to Yien, I bring up my split with Younghyun. The man shamelessly grins hearing this news, he doesn’t even pretend to feel sorry to hear the news. Instead he just plasters myself with soft kisses, he cups my face and he pulls me closer towards him. The man was giddy, because he knew what my split with Younghyun meant. It meant that there was a chance for the two of us to be together.

 

“Now you really can’t get rid of me” the elder teases, delivering some soft and tender kisses down my neck. I smile unable to push away the overwhelmingly happy feeling I got when I was with the elder. I had just been very newly single and I know I should be feeling guilty, but it was hard to feel guilty in the arms of Yien. 

 

Once I am washed and dressed, I lay down that night with Yien. The man seemed so relaxed and content in my arms, he leans in his head onto my chest. There was a light and relaxed air between the two of us, and I find all of the stress and concern that I had been feeling of late just wiped away. I felt a calm and happiness, after all it had been so many years of denying myself this happiness.

 

The next day unfortunately I have to rip myself from the older. Although I was involved in in this shit storm of drainer drama, I needed to earn money and to live. So I go back to work and pretty early in the day I hear from Junhyeok, the elder says he’s heard about the break up already.

 

“You know Younghyun’s an emotional sharing kinda guy” being Younghyun’s only real close friend in town the man got a call early this morning detailing most of what had gone down. Younghyun had kept out his kidnap and the wolves and everything else that was complicated and hard to explain.

 

“Don’t get me wrong, the guy seemed bummed out about it, but took it better than I would have expected” Junhyeok casually comments patting me on the back. “How do you mean? “I couldn’t resist my curiosity. “I mean when you guys got together he was always saying that he felt a deep connection with you. He felt like you were people who were supposed to know each other” my stomach churns with guilty.

 

“That’s why he had such a hard time when you guys first fell out before” the man speaks so casually. He didn’t seem to be annoyed with me for even hurting his friend at all, or maybe because I hadn’t hurt him? “But hearing over the phone, it was weird” Junhyeok says with a shrug, there was no real explanation or follow through to that comment. I wonder if he was relieved? After all what had happened yesterday, it was a little heavy for anyone to want to take on. I understood if Younghyun felt relief when I let him go. Although that didn’t explain his initial reaction, he had said he was willing to wait for me? I was confused, but I wouldn’t push for a question.

 

The day moves pretty quickly after that conversation, at some point in the day I do physically bump into Kwon Soonyoung. The boy is unapologetic for bumping into me and causing me to drop my papers, but the younger does check up on me. “Have you healed up sir?” the boy asks with a knowing look in his eyes. I’m a bit taken aback, I had no idea what he was talking about.

 

“I heard from a hyung of mine that you got caught up with some of his friends” the grin on his face grows, his eyes sparkle. My blood cools, he knew my attackers? Was he involved? Since our last run in had the younger been so upset that he had to get some of his friends to try and sort me out? No, those had been Jia’s thugs, they had been initially there to take to her, but still he knew those people.

 

“It’s a shame that I hadn’t been there to see it all, I heard you struggled quite a bit” the boy says and as he stands up he purposely steps over some loose papers. The young boy looked very sinister, he seemed to wish real harm to have come to me. Was it because I had been so protective over Chaeyoung, or was he just a dark minded kind of person?

I couldn’t tell.

 

“Be careful in the future, you might not have those mutts to protect you and yours” the boy chillingly delivers his message with a smile on his face. He leaves me wondering if I should be a little more forceful with Chaeyoung in telling her to cut her relationship with him. Would I only be drawing him closer to him? I try to shake off those thoughts, everything was too complicated already, I didn’t need any more problems.

 

Later that day during my lunch break, I head to the café to sit down with Junghwa and discuss times I could spend with Noah. When I get there, I find Hyojin who was sat with Junghwa, Hyojin was going gaga over the younger. She was always that way around babies, we had discovered over the years that was her weakness.

 

It was amusing to watch the intimidating pack assassin melt for my young child. In the corner of my eye I catch Changkyun watching his wife from behind the counter, still after so long her watched her as if she was a precious jewel, that look seemed to get stronger with each year that they shared together, he truly treasured the mother of his children.

 

Stood quietly to the side I just watch the scene in front of me, watching my best friend and his love for his wife. His wife’s weakness for children which made her adorable, and said child who was my child with his mother. It was something I was still trying to wrap my head around. The fact that I was a father, that I has fathered a child who would need me. He would need me to guide them on the right path.

 

“I’ll be staying in Mokpo indefinitely” Junghwa announces to my surprised. I had expected her to only be here a few weeks and then I would have to decide whether I would follow her out to New York or to stay and travel back and forth to visit Noah. But here she was, offering to move her whole life back to Mokpo, for me?

 

“Are you sure?” I ask the woman, I didn’t want her to come to resent me for it, she needed to be sure. “I want you to know your child” she says resolutely, as if it was something simple. “I want to know him too, but I felt apologetic. I could have been in his life so much sooner if I hadn’t been so cowardly”.

 

Time had passed since then and it had been explained to me. The heat had been described to me as one of the few times a year in which wolves are bound to procreate. Any other time if they were to have sex, it would wouldn’t lead to any pregnancy. But it just happened to be fate that when we did meet that day, I had been caught in Junghwa’s heat.

 

Unlike human ovulation, a wolf’s heat couldn’t be predicted and sometimes it leads to dangerous consequences. The heat could pull in an unwanted wolf and then it was up to the woman who was in her heat to either fight that human, or be forced to procreate with the human.

 

It wasn’t something that could ever be blamed on either party, the wolf can’t control the heat that they go through, it’s nature’s way of ensuring they procreate and continue to make cubs for the future of their pack.

 

The fault didn’t lie in the human who passed by and was caught in the heat, especially when it was only a select few humans who could be mate with wolves and even fewer drainers. I had been an exception due to the fact that I had imprinted on Junghwa a long time before I had even become a drainer.

 

Funnily enough my situation was similar to Changkyun’s parents, only theirs was a little bit more complicated and shrouded in darkness. The clouds had just dispersed on my situation, and it looked like the mother of my child was being gracious enough to stay nearby to allow me to start building a relationship with my son. For that I was very lucky.

 

Whatever she had planned, whatever Junghwa saw fit and was comfortable with was what I was going to follow. I wanted to do everything right moving forward, seeing as I hadn’t done that for the last few years.

 

As Junghwa talks about maybe allowing Noah to stay over for the weekend, I can’t help but be enamoured by the young boy. The more I saw him, the more I began to see the little things that made him my son, but also the things that made him Junghwa’s child too.

 

Noah wasn’t a name that I hadn’t decided on but I did like the name choice for the younger. Apparently it was the name of the doctor who had helped Junghwa with her birth. I didn’t mind that my son had a non-Korean name. It was a cute name that for the very cute, bright and adorable boy.

 

The young boy didn’t seem disturbed by my presence; he was already so tactile. A friendly and warm child, a testament to the kind of parent Junghwa must be. Fluffing through the child’s brown locks, they were a little shaggy and unruly but add to his charm.

 

His pale skin was tinted with pink on his cheeks, his eyes bright and wide like his mother. Amazingly, the boy had a mole that was directly under the lid of his eyes. His nose and lips resemble mine, he was like a cute mix of his mother and I.

 

Tiny and lovable. It takes a lot of self-control to rip myself from the younger and return to work. I don’t get the chance to really talk to Changkyun, but the man said he would be over to talk to me once I was done with work. A little wary about what the topic was about, I head off. It seemed that lately whenever we talked, it was always something heavy and stressful.

 

The rest of the afternoon breezes by, as Chaeyoung and I make for the exit chatting about a test she was concerned about. I spot waiting at the school gates as none other than the man I had left in bed this morning. Tuan Yien was stood in front of a sparkly, shiny new car. Leant on the hood of his car, he waves me over with an excited grin on his face.

 

“Come on guys!” the man offers to drop Chaeyoung home, something she seems perfectly fine with. Her eyes light up at the sight of the handsome Yien, not that I blamed her much. The man is full of charm, he chats with Chaeyoung about school. Ever the charmer he gets the younger girl giggling, and the ride to her home is very fun and light hearted.

 

Once Chaeyoung is dropped off, it leaves just Yien and I alone. The man doesn’t even wait for her to get out of sight, before he leans in to kiss me on the lips. I pull away and warn the elder. I didn’t want to be insensitive and I had just ended things with Younghyun and I felt that now it would be best if we went on a low profile. Yien reluctantly obliges my request, and the pair of us head home.

 

On our short walk on the way to my apartment, where I would be picking up some paper work from, I bump into Hanbin. The man was leant on the apartment building, he watches me briefly without saying a word. He looked as if he wanted to speak to me, he greets both Yien and I and he requests for us to speak. Something that I had been expecting to happen, it was a sign that he was really leaving soon.

 

Yien although is reluctant, he heads up to the apartment. He would get the papers for me and he would meet me up at his apartment. I thank him and the pair of us head off to a playground nearby. There weren’t any people around, so it seemed like the perfect place to talk. So taking a seat on bench in the park the pair of us talk. Hanbin reveals that his move was tomorrow, and so he felt like he needed to talk to me.

 

“You’ve always had a special place in my heart” the man clears his throat before speaking up. “When I thought that I would grow up, living my life without any happiness at all. That I wouldn’t experience any love at all, you were there to show me different” the man speaks of his fears that he was just someone who was emotionally disconnected. During and after his relationship, he discovered that he was more than capable and the reason he had always acted so coldly was that he was trying to shield himself from the possibility of getting hurt.

 

“For so long I tried to shield myself, but when you came along. I couldn’t do it any longer” the man explains that once he had felt love from me, he got under the impression that he could never feel love again. He struggled against any affection he had for Hayi and his children because of that belief. And it had taken him many years fighting against the dark part of him, to try and treat his family correctly.

 

“Still, my feelings for you have never been resolved. And as long as I’m like this, around you holding out hope, I’m no good for my wife or my kids” Hanbin explains that some of the feelings that he still had for me. The ones that lingered, they had hurt his wife and children too much. So deciding to take care of that, he was here to get some closure.

 

“Thank you Youngjae, thank you so much” the man thanks me for being able to introduce him to love. “For helping me grow up and become someone who was open in my thinking” he continues, his voice was shaking a little, he seemed to getting emotional. I was struggling to see him like this, so I wait for him to catch himself and continue.

 

“It’s time that I let you go, and focused on my family” the man’s eyes gloss over, and as he becomes aware of his tears, he turns away. Wiping his tears, the man who I had been through so much with. The man who was my first love and had made me the person that I was, if only by a little bit. I was grateful for him, I wrap my arms around his shoulder and I pull him much closer to comfort him.

 

Crying into my shoulders, Hanbin grips onto my arms. So much had happened, so many strong feelings had been felt, and there were so many things that we had repressed. We had never really tried to talk it out and come to terms that as teenage boys, we experienced something that is so rare. Something so strong, a love that had made us love very strong. The pair of us briefly talk, we chat and discuss what we doing in our near future.

 

“Good luck to the both of you, to you and Yien” Hanbin expresses his sincere well wishes for Yien and I. It seemed that as low-key as I wanted Yien and I to be, the man caught on without any fuss. I simply thank him and also wishing him luck in his move, before heading back off to Yien’s apartment.

 

When I do return, Yien doesn’t even question me about what was said. The man was already washed and dressed for the night and he had begun on making me something to eat. He was jealous, but even still he was showing me a great amount of privacy and understanding. 

 

As the man prepares us something to eat, I head upstairs to get myself something to eat. We have a chill evening, and I feel myself really comfortable and settled and content. And for some time, it really is like that. It’s settled and peaceful, but not much in my life ever turned out that way…

 

Weeks pass by, and things seem to be structuring themselves normally. I had a son who I loved more than anything in the world, I was doing my best to take care of him, but along with that I had my best friend/ boyfriend who I was trying very hard to treat well. To treat Yien the way that he deserved, and to make all the years that he had waited worth it

 

My family was also in a space for celebration, as in a twist Soojung had very romantically proposed to Junhyuk. The man had bitched about tradition, about the man being the one to get on one knee and propose but still he had giddily accepted the proposal. The man loved his fiancée so much, of course he accepted.

 

The family was overjoyed, my mother especially at the fact that her son was finally moving towards a wife and providing her with children. At this point I hadn’t told the older woman about Noah, only a select few people knew about my son. I was focused on gaining a good relationship with

 

There is a lightness, no over the top no drama and foolishly I let my guard down, but the moment I start regretting that is midday at school. Once again bump into Soonyoung, this time it’s more of a rough shove on the student’s side of things. Showing he was getting bolder as timed passed by. It was just the two of us in the hallway coincidentally passing, but the move of aggression shows that he was someone to worry about. 

Soonyoung had become more of a recluse at school, he seemed uninterested in socialising with other students. Since Chaeyoung was putting distance between the two of them, he seemed to teetering close and closer to darkness.

 

“Oops sorry teacher, touching you like that. It should be only something you consent to right?” the young boy delivers his line with snark. I wasn’t really sure what he meant by his words. “am I not someone you’d like to get cosy to?” brazenly Soonyoung continues. I watch him confused, was he was alluding to the fact he knew Chaeyoung had a crush on me.

 

This was jealousy, I suddenly realise that all of his disdain for me was rooted in the fact he felt that I was threat. When I do try to speak up to the boy and ask what was going on with him, if he was still hanging around with the dangerous characters he had bought up before?

 

The boy without a word storms off, he walks in the direction of the exit, he looked pissed. He looked rogue, to be full of anger, and maybe he needed to blow off some steam, or maybe I should look deep into his life and try to help him instead of suspect him. It’s not like I hadn’t tried to talk to his parents, I had tried to call both the Kwons but they were always out of town and busy.

 

Something told me that it would be too late for them when they did finally focus their attention on their son. For now, I would try a little harder to reach out to the younger, despite my concern about him. There was a lot of darkness there, I didn’t want to say that he was too far gone, but maybe he was.

 

After school I head over to the café, although I had been doing well with my thirst recently, I still wanted to ensure that I wasn’t going to relapse from a thirst. So I head over to the café and like I had been doing once a week, I get my dose of blood to drink and keep me going for the next week. Once I was done, I’d pick up Yien and I could treat him to a night out, maybe we could see a movie or something like that.

 

The IM family weren’t around this afternoon, apparently they were spending the afternoon with Hyojin’s father. So the shop is manned by another wolf, one who understood that I was to be discreetly given my blood bag. There was a bit of awkwardness between the two of us, there tended to be with any of the wolf pack who didn’t know me.

 

It didn’t bother me, I understood that not all wolves could trust drainers and vice versa. I was just here to quench my thirst. But in the middle of doing that I get a call from Sooyoung, which was quite rare. The elder usually just text telling me to call her to or to talk to her face to face. The woman was usually too busy to settle down and take a call. But here she was calling me, so of course I answer the phone to my treasured sister.

 

“Youngjae-“immediately I am left worried, just from the tone of her voice. “There’s some men here, they’re drainers, they won’t let Minho and I leave-“she sounded scared and panicked her. There was loud banging followed by some laughing, Minho calls from the other end of the line instructing me to call the cops. Once again there’s a large bang and Sooyoung screams, before the phone completely cuts off.

 

All of what I hear, takes a little while to catch, before I’m up from my seat and rushing out of the café. I hear something drop to the ground, but I don’t pay it much attention to it, I was focused on getting to my sister’s house before something worse could happen. I rush there using all the power that I had as a drainer, not caring who saw. As long as I got to my sister’s house in time, then I didn’t care.

 

When I do get to the four-bedroom terraced house in a calm and quiet neighborhood. I spot that the front door had been blown off of it’s hinges, it was just hanging off in a very worrying manner. There had to have been a lot of force for it to get in that state, confirming that as Sooyoung had said, the people who had trespassed into her home were drainers.

 

As I head into the house, I hear Sooyoung’s panicked voice talking to Minho in hushed tones. They were in the living room, and as I walk in that direction, I find that pinned again the fireplace, Jinyoung was in the middle of a struggle against a drainer.

 

“Youngjae, you’re here!” Jinyoung calls me in the middle of the fight. Jinyoung looked red in the face, but he didn’t look beaten, he was far too strong to be defeated by just one drainer. Soon he manages to push the drainer off of him, but again they return to locking horns again.

 

“I’m fine, focus on your sister!”, Jinyoung seems focused on defeating his opponent, so it gives me time to focus on the drainer who was looming over my sister and her husband.

Looking at the pair, it seemed like they had tried to put up a fight and were pretty banged up. Cuts, and bleeding were across the faces of both. They had been harmed enough to cause them both fear.

 

Looking up at the man who looms threateningly over Minho and Sooyoung. He was a pretty tall and slender, but toned male. He had on a leather jacket and hoodie, as well as jeans. He looked quiet young, but that was hard to tell with drainers.

 

“Youngjae!” Sooyoung calls when she sees me in the room, Minho next to her is sporting a cut and bruised eye. The tall, slender drainer grins when he spots me, the man looked pleased to see me, but not in the ordinary fashion. There was something sinister about this, and normally I could take sinister when it was just focused on me, but now my family and Jinyoung were now involved.

 

“Choi Youngjae, you're here!” the strange drainer smirks. “Great, no we have you here, we don’t need the bate much long…“, before he can finish his sentence, I rush over. There was no way that I would allow this. If they wanted me, there was no way they could put my family in trouble.

 

“YOUNGJAE WATCH OUT!” eyes as big as saucers, Sooyoung screams out for me. Minho was similarly in shock, when I feel myself stabbed from behind, I turn to see the person who had stabbed me. Behind me was none other than Kwon Soonyoung, there were splatters of blood on his face and through his platinum blonde hair.

 

Surprised it takes a little while for what has happened to catch up, the pain hits me as the young drainer continues to push in the knife. This whole time the young student looks down at the knife wound with a lot of a wide grin on his face. The young boy looked overjoyed, he had to know that I wouldn’t die from it, but he would enjoy the pain.

 

Hearing Sooyoung’s crying out for me is what makes me finally snap out of it. I kick and push away the young boy away; ignoring the pain and bleeding. I become aware of the new drainers who had suddenly come in, Jinyoung and I were outnumbered. Jinyoung was already in his fight with a few young drainers, meanwhile I was fighting Soonyoung who seemed focused on ending my life.

 

With my utmost focus, I fight the boy. I was torn between defending my family and ending the life of a young student. Despite all his confidence and bravado, the boy was less of a fighter than me. He was determined to try and end my life, but I wasn’t going to lose. I fight with the younger, I push and shove his hitting him hard.

 

During the fight Sooyoung and Minho are shouting in concern, meanwhile the drainer who was watching on looks irritated. He seems to lose

his patience very quickly, coldly and swiftly he grabs Soonyoung from behind, before very callously snapping the head off of the younger. I flinch at the sight, seeing the young man’s life leaving eyes is something that completely irks me.

 

Sooyoung lets out a yelp, before turning away in fear. Minho is there wrapping his arm to protect her. My goal was to get them out as soon as I could, I needed to get my family out from the way of danger. So without hesitation, I go toe to toe with the drainer. I bum rush the man, combat wasn’t my forte, but I was still giving it my all.

 

The drainer despite his frame was quick and strong, we trade punches and kids. The house was totally messed up, but that doesn’t stop me. I keep going but the leather jacket drainer gets the upper hand before pinning me onto the wall. He grabs my throat repeatedly kicking me in the stomach, I can hear Sooyoung crying but I try not to let that distract me, I couldn’t afford to do it with his enemy.

 

With a smug look on his face, the drainer who was having the upper hand he continues to squeeze around my neck. I reach out to kick but the drainer wasn’t budging. My face felt hot, and I was feeling overwhelmed and just wanted for him to “STOP!” I call out. 

 

A strong and overwhelming pulse of energy flows through me, and as I do the drainer’s eyes budge open as he stays frozen in place. Using this lapse for my advantage. I push the drainer with force, before turning round to strike hard enough to kick head off of shoulders. Not humanly possible, but I wasn’t a human, I was a strong drainer who was capable.

 

The head flies across the room, whilst the body flops to the floor. Meanwhile Minho shields his wife from the splutter of blood, the man looked shocked and overwhelmed. But I don’t have much time to pay that attention, instead I have to focus on helping Jinyoung with the drainers he was fighting with. He was such a strong fighter, that he could manage to at least keep himself alive with all those people fighting him.

 

Though there is a bit of a struggle, after a chaotic fight through the living room of my sister’s house. Jinyoung and I manage to kill or apprehend the drainers. What had happened seems to catch enough attention, because the noises we had made, cause soon after the cops come through. When they do arrive, they try secure the scene.

 

With the cops using their tranquilisers to catch the drainers. Jinyoung is there to lead his fellow officers, meanwhile I head over to Mino and Sooyoung and try to get the shocked couple to the hospital. Sooyoung more than Minho is shaken up, in the midst of all the trouble the woman had fainted and Minho had been looking over her.

 

The dedicated husband continues to watch over her even when we get to the hospital. Minho had been banged up but he insisted on being next to his wife, Sooyoung had been patched up and was resting in bed with morphine still very shocked with what had happened.

 

“At least the kids weren’t there” the Minho comments from the bedside watching Minho. The children had been participating in an after school sports event, both boys were very active and fortunately that had meant that they weren’t in the home when Minho and Sooyoung were in their home. The man had returned home early from work to see his wife, he absolutely adored his wife. Fortunately, he had been around to take care of her, but still the events that had taken place this afternoon would be hard for them to take in.

 

Despite this, the elder thanks me for my help. There were no questions on his end of things. But even still, I felt it needed to be said. I tell the man that I was in fact a drainer, something the elder had figured out already after seeing me earlier having been stabbed but healing so quickly before his eyes.

 

“I'm sorry this all happened” feeling responsible, I try to apologise. “It's not your fault” the man dismisses very quickly. Reaching over to squeeze my shoulder, the man who was normally laid back but had seemed so tense earlier, no looked laid back again.

 

“You're still the same Youngjae I grew up knowing and sure some things may have changed and gotten more dramatic. But you're my brother” he says fluffing my hair affectionately. We had always been close even before Sooyoung had gotten pregnant, the man had been a friend of Sooyoung’s and around the family home during their childhood. He was someone who did truly feel like family.

 

“She'll be shocked for now, but she'll always support you” the elder tries to reassure me, it was a little harder for me to feel. “Thanks” I say, feeling a little relieved at the very least that my family was safe. So for now, all I can do is trust the police officers who were out on guard for my sister and her husband.

 

Despite the doctor’s insistence for me to get checked up, I decline and head off to check up Jinyoung. He was at the police station, when I get there I ask for where Jinyoung was and am pointed towards Jinyoung in an interview room. The man was sat with the parents of Soonyoung, he looked like he was delivering bad news.

 

Watching on, I overhear as was telling them that they would be updated more on the details later, but he instructs a junior to lead the parents to the morgue. The parents who looked very meek, quiet and withdrawn but not distraught, leave me a bit cold watching on.

 

“Are you okay?” Jinyoung checks on me once we were alone to talk. “I should get used to this it seems, being attacked” I say with a huff. “They told me something. Well I overheard something” Jinyoung speaks up, piquing my interest. “That they wanted to reunite you with your true father…” the man says reluctantly. I’m left a little confused by Jinyoung. True father, what did he mean?

“Well… I overheard this rumour a few years ago, but I was never sure whether to tell you or not. Tell me what” Jinyoung reveals looking still unsure of whether he should be telling me or not. “Your parents aren't your biological parents” the man says his expression so seriously. When I question him about it, he claims it was a rumour he heard from an older senior of his who had lived in town for a long time. He tells me that it would be best to talk about it with Jinwoon.

 

More confused, I ask Jinyoung why Jinwoon would know. The man seems to be recalling some stuff from the past, things he had never told me before. “Jinwoon, he seems to know… I was never brave enough to confront the elder” he explains that through the rumours, he had heard that Jinwoon knew about everything. But what Jinyoung had said, I Wasn’t sure whether to believe it. My head was spinning.

 

With all that was on my mind, I head over to pick up Yien from his work. He looked pretty busy in his office, the man looked in his element as he closes up for the day. I wait for him as he leaves some instructions for his work juniors. Once he does, I take the elder’s hand escort him home.

 

The man had no idea what had happened earlier in the attack, I didn’t want to concern him. So changed into a clean outfit, before picking up the elder. As I lead the elder out we bump into his co-worker and the ex-wife of my most current ex.

 

Sung Kyung who was leaving her office, looks me up and down with disapproval but she doesn’t speak up. I simply try to shrug her off, and lead Yien off home. Needing some normality, I ask the elder to cook me something to eat. The older man agrees, but as he does, he insists that I open up to him and tell him the truth, he had sensed that I was going through something that was bothering me. 

 

Reluctantly I keep the intensity of the fight out of the story, only telling him there was a scuffle in Sooyoung’s house. I skip over the chaos of the fight that Jinyoung and I went through and I skip to what Jinyoung told me. The man patiently listens and seems to understand my feelings.

 

“If it's going to bug you, then you need to talk to him” if it was all rumours like I was trying to convince myself. Then I shouldn't be this bothered, I should just believe what I had grown up seeing. My parents had showered me with love, they had cared for me even to the point where I believed they were over protective. I had always thought it was because I was the child who had been the most difficult to deliver at birth, but was there something more.

 

“Ask questions, if you're suspicious it's best to clear things up” Yien advises as he strokes though my hair. The man didn't seem surprised by this revelation, maybe by now being involved with me he knew that my life was chocful of drama. The man doesn't seem shaken however, it seemed like his promise to stay with me and not run away seemed to be something that he was thinking of doing. Delivering hugs and kisses, the man does his very best to comfort me and at least keeps me distracted for that night.

 

A few days later after their traumatic home break in, Sooyoung and Minho are ready to be escorted home. I do the honours, and take the pair to my apartment. For now with the kids they would stay there, with the state that their house was in, it would take a while to repair. My apartment was secure, I had made sure to put extra security precautions. Not only that but Changkyun had set up a group of his wolves to look out for the area near my apartment.

 

Minho and Sooyoung were grateful for the space to stay, It was small and cramped but it would do for now. As the family settled into my apartment, Sooyoung pulls me to the side and wraps her arms around my shoulders pulling me into a tight hug.

 

“No matter what Choi maknae, your sister loves you” the elder says as she strokes through my hair fondly. “Thank you for protecting us” the woman pulls away to watch me, from what I could tell, it seemed that she was proud of me. “Be careful and if anything happens call me straight away” I tell the elder. “Of course, now I have my big strong drainer brother to pummel everyone down” Sooyoung teases. The fear that she had in her eyes the other day, it was gone. She trusted me, she trusted that I could protect her.

 

Leaving the family of four to settle down for the day, I head over to The academy. I had called in sick because of personal reasons, and with the attack on Sooyoung’s family in the news, Principal Shin didn't question me at all. However after some thinking, I decide to come in and request for a sabbatical. The last time I had requested one was when I had broken up with Jinyoung and principal Shin had been understanding then.

 

The woman is a little concerned when I do request another break, but when I explain that I needed the break she is understanding. Of course iI wouldn't be getting paid during the break, but when I wanted to come back I would definitely have a place at the academy when I did decide to return. She wishes me luck, telling me to care of himself.

 

Things were becoming difficult for me. I had to focus on protecting those around me. So for now the break would be the best thing for me to take. Until I could bring down this mysterious drainer who was terrorising me and my family, then I couldn't expect to live a normal life. No, I was focused on getting past this horrible time of my life.

Once I was done at the academy, I head over to the prosecutors’s office to see Jinwoon. It had been a few days since Jinyoung had stunned with the rumours that he had implicated Jinwoon in. I had been back and forth in my mind about confronting the elder, but in the end I couldn't help but feel suspicious.

 

So I visit Jinwoon at work. On my way into his office I bump into Kang Younghyun, the first time I had seen him in a couple of weeks. There is a brief awkwardness in the air, the man looked very uncomfortable and confusingly to me he looked guilty. Watching the man closely he greets me politely before rushing off. Would I need to speak to the other man later on? I wasn't quite so sure.

 

Jinwoon is very welcoming that day, although he was busy he makes some time for me that day. After being served some tea by the his secretary, I sit to talk to Jinwoon. The elder was a bit shaken to have just heard about Sooyoung and Minho’s attack. He was relieved to hear they were safe. I tell him to be more careful too.

 

“And you too” he had heard that I had been there in the house during the attack, although he didn't know the details yet. “Don't worry, I have people who I know will protect me…” Changkyun and his drainers had gotten more attentive. We chat and catch up, but during our talk, I can't bring up the suspicions I had on my parentage. Not yet, I was too scared to hear the answer and I wasn't yet prepared.

 

So after a while, I excuse myself heading off home. Jinwoon stops me, reach for my wrist the man watches me closely. “You wanted to say something. What was it?” the man searches my eyes, he had always been good at reading me. I deeply sigh and make one confession, I do t know if it was right to make this confession to throw off the elder! But I do. I confess that I have a son.

 

“You what?” the man blinks, looking extremely confused. So as best as I can, I explain my situation with Junghwa not going into too much detail. “You're a father?” Jinwoon asks once again, he had heard the answer but it still doesn't settle in for a while. We spend a little while talking and discussing how I was trying to raise a child to my best ability.

 

“Does Yien know?” the man checks. I guess despite the fact that I hadn't announced my relationship with Yien, most people suspected it anyway. “I’ll support you!” the man offers to play dates with his own precious daughter. They were near the same age, and this thought makes the man excited, he giddily talks of a relationship that they would have. He gives me hope that the reaction from my family will be similarly as positive.

 

That night I have a mysterious dream. In that dream I had no sight, all I could do was hear a mysterious make voice echoing through my head. “Unlock your powers. Protect the people around you” the voice calmly repeats this statement over and over. It had been so long since I had a dream like this in a long time, it felt familiar. It was eerie, dark and apart from the voice in my head, there was nothing else I could hear. But strangely enough, I feel myself being aggressively rocked from side to side. I didn't know where I was going, but it felt like I was being taken somewhere, the feeling in my chest wasn't good.

 

When I wake up it was very early in the morning. Next to me, Yien had his arms hooked through my arms. The man was tucked into my side, peacefully sleeping. His face was so soft and innocent, as if all the thoughts in his head were nothing but sweet. I decide to leave him there in his sweet dreams and head off earlier.

 

Once I'm washed and dressed, I head off out. On my way out, I chat with Hoseok. The man had just returned from his duties in the pack, he looked a little tired and was ravenously tucking into a big bowl of ramyun. Having a big appetite was something I was used to when it came to wolves, but just watching the elder recently, he seemed hungrier and more tired. The pack had been kept very busy.

 

We chat a little bit in between ourselves. I would be a it busy today, so o make the request for the elder to take care of Yien. “Of course.!” The man replies without hesitation. “Take care of yourself” the man warns as I make my way out of the house.

 

For breakfast, I meet up with Junghwa and Noah. The three of spend us the morning and afternoon together. After breakfast at the café we decide to take a walk through the park nearby. It was a small and secluded, but it had a pretty views, especially near the pond. In the pond were a family of ducks that had gotten the attention of the young boy.

 

Noah was giggling excited at the sight of the ducks in the pond, meanwhile Junghwa was grinning happily watching her son. She claims that although the boy was very friendly to most people, when it came to me the boy seemed to really open up and was happy. Hearing that made me happy, it made me feel needed by the boy.

 

As we walk through the park, we do bump into a well known Mokpo native, he was somewhat of a celebrity. A well known drainer, the popular and handsome Goo Junhoe approaches our direction. He was dressed very casually, a woollen jumper, a black coat and some jeans. He looked like a model, something that had gotten him a lot of fans within the town.

 

Smiling wide and almost familiarly, the man he greets us both. His gaze is firmly set on Junghwa, his eyes light up at the sight of her.

 

“Its been so long Junghwa!” Junhoe comments, on the outside he looked like a very friendly acquaintance. However when I watch the woman, I notice that her body language was little tense but still she speaks to him in a polite manner, distancing herself with her language and tone.

 

“Heard you were now in Mokpo, I was surprised but it's great. Now we can meet up? Maybe later?” the man was a little eager, and Junghwa seemed to be far from it. “Maybe yes” Junghwa says with a false smile across her pretty face. “Excellent!” That seems to satisfy the man who quickly says his goodbyes before heading off.

 

“What's going on?” I ask the woman immediately as soon as I'm sure that he's out of ear shot. “Nothing…” she doesn't sound convinced as all. “we had dated for a little while...” she excuses casually. “I'm awkward with my exes, you should know that” she tries to reassure.

 

“You're fine with Bobby, with me” I counter him. “You?” she looked surprised that I had referenced myself in that way. “What happened in those few days… I think it was something…” I wasn't doing a great job explaining myself. What I meant was that she had been more to me than just a fling, she always had and always would be.

 

“I'm sorry, the way I treated you…” once again feeling apologetic. “It's fine” the woman casually excuses me. “How can it be?” I question it, how did she not hold any feelings of bitterness towards me. “You really don't get the imprint do you?” the woman asks with a fond grin on her face. “It makes me weak towards you” she admits that her love for me was what made her able to forgive. So I reassure her that we would be strong together, we would be a strong family unit for Noah. Which Junghwa agrees to.

 

Later that day it's just Noah and I left to our own devices. Junghwa was meeting up with an old friend, so she was letting me spend more time with my son. I would return to boy to her the next morning, but for now I was cherishing every moment I had with the younger. He was lively but extremely well behave, especially as we sit down to eat our lunch.

 

As we eat, Changkyun checks up on Noah and I. The man was more protective since the recent attacks. Once he's assured that I was fine, he checks up on my progress with Junghwa and Noah. I reveal that I was going to meet up with my family and to introduce the infant to his family. I had told Jinwoon, it was time to tell everyone else. Especially before rumours started being spread.

 

 

Jieun and Jikyu escort Noah and I home. The responsible pair had no problems protecting the people around them. While Jikyu seemed to get on with Noah, Jieun walked with us and she looked down. “Did you and your girlfriend fall out?” Jikyu teases his older sister. “Shut up rat!” Jieun bites back before turning her attention to play with Noah’s little hand.

 

“Sorry uncle Youngjae, we’re busier and a little stressed, forgive us for being so immature”, Jieun apologises on behalf of her and her brother. Jieun grins amused but he doesn't speak up, he knew not to push her luck. “I'm sorry that this town isn't safer, you guys should have a normal childhood” I always felt sorry for the two youngsters, they had a lot of responsibility put upon their shoulders.

 

“Oh it's fine. We've been prepared for this for so long” Jieun casually shrugs and reassures. Jikyu much like his sister seem to have accepted their fates, they had such a good attitude and they had good heads on their shoulders. They were very mature for their ages, the reliable kids lead me to the Choi family home.

 

When I return to my childhood home, my parents were surprised to see me and Noah together. So without my siblings around, I reveal that this was son. Words that stun my parents, leaving them speechless from a few minutes, so I try to explain.

 

“We had spent so long coming to terms that you are a gay man, we've accepted you and now you're here with your child?” my father is the first person to speak up in confused disapproval. I struggle to find ways to explain before settling on the fact that sexuality was fluid. I admit that as far as romantic or sexual feelings, I have only felt that way for one woman.

 

“Park Junghwa? Kyung Il’s daughter?” my mother blinks surprised when she finds out the identity of Noah's mother. Junghwa had been in my life for so long and I had always cared about her. One night we had gotten drunk and things had lead to us having sex. It was a brief time and out of it Noah was born I explain.

 

Junghwa worried about disturbing my life. So she did not tell me about Noah for all this time. I tell my parents the story as best as I can and it seems they are trying to wrap their head around it. I reassure them that I just want to raise my child. To be in his life.

 

“Of course, do well Youngjae” my mother says, turning her attention to the young boy in my arms. My father was biting down on something he was desperate to say, but my mother was doing her best to be supportive. She plays with the toddler and quickly becomes enarmoured by him. She is bright happy and excited especially when the rest of my siblings and their partners come to join us for dinner.

 

Once again I make the announcement about my fatherhood to my older siblings and their partners, it surprises Sooyoung and Junhyuk. Junhyuk more so than the other and he has the most questions to the point his tired fiancee has to tell him to shut up much to the amusement of everyone at the table. Jinwoon knew and it seemed that he had the time to get his mind around it all. Sooyoung on the other hand hadnt said anything, I guess she had to have been overwhelmed with all the secrets that I had been keeping.

 

After the dinner finishes, Jinwoon drives Noah and I to Yien and Hoseok’s home. Jinwoon jokes about Junhyuk probably going to be more pressured to have kids now. “It's nice that has ///// a cousin to play with” the man comments watching the little man who was laying asleep on my lap.

 

When I ask where his wife was, the man tells me that Solji was busy. Was she with her people. “Her people?” the man asks confused. “At the pension”. I tell him that its not a secret, I knew that Solji was a fair. I confront my brother with suspicions that had always niggled at me. Jinwoon doesn't speak up, but I take it as an answer that he knew.

 

“So you must have also known that I was a drainer also right?” I continue airing my suspicions. The man nods his head and hums in reply. “Wifey told me a while ago, she felt that I should know to understand your difficulties” the man explains.

 

“You know a lot, you keep secrets well” I mutter a little disapproving as the thing that had been bothering the most today. “Is there anything you want to know from me?” Jinwoon asks, sensing my mood change.

 

“Who is my real father?” I ask leaving Jinwoon silent briefly. “What do you mean? Of course it's Choi Woobin” he weakly replies. So it's true, just seeing his behaviours were a sign of that. He was avoiding eye contact with me, a sure sign that he was definitely lying to me.

 

“Tell me the truth hyung, or I might never forgive you” I warn the elder. “You're my brother” replies almost in a whine, he really didn't want to tell me the truth. “I know that and it won't change, but just tell me the truth” I plead the elder, desperate to know.

 

“Okay…” The elder signs before reluctantly speaking up. Jinwoon reveals that through his biological mother, he discovered that I had been the second child of Choi Woobin and ,,,, who has been had adopted. My heart drops, this was new and shocking to hear.

“Your biological mother… She was dads younger sister” he reveals to my shock and surprise. According to the research he did, he found that the woman who was biological mother was an illegitimate sister of my father. She was hidden, but it appeared they had a relationship. When she was unable to be a single mother for me. She left me in the care of her brother and left Mokpo and did not return. When I ask about my father Jinwoon pauses, before shrugging. He claims he didn't know who it was, but from the look in his eyes I could tell he was lying.

 

The man soon shuts down after that and drops Noah and I off at Yien's house. The elder keeps his car parked and waits for me to enter the house before driving away. When I get there, Yien is there. It was his first interaction with the younger and as many others, he falls for the little child listing all the features that I shared.

 

Yien is more than happy to help me take care of the young boy, he helps me wash, and clothe the child. Before helping the younger settle down into sleep, he even lets the younger lie on his chest to sleep. The sight brings the biggest smile to my face, it feels like my face is going to rip apart. The man didn’t even seem fazed at the fact I had a child, he seemed to treasure the younger.

 

After a comfortable night with my two favourite men, the next day I have to separate Yien away from Noah. I take him back to his mother, and so we meet up bright and early at the Happy Café. But the second I see her, I’m concerned, spotting a scratch or cut she had on her face. The woman looked a bit pale, but still she was bubbly and smiling through it.

 

The woman reassures me that she had been on her morning run this morning and had been cut by a branch. It would heal in a couple of hours, but she laughs it off calling it an embarrassing accident. Skipping past that topic, she turns her attention to her young son who she showers with kisses and hugs.

 

“Thank you so much for that, I hope he wasn’t too much trouble for you and Yien” I assure her that Yien had fallen for the young boy and the pair had gotten on very well. “Oh goodie! Noah knows to get on with daddy Yien!” Junghwa teases. I smile, the fact that she was comfortable with Yien around the child gave me some relief.

 

As I escort Junghwa to her cab, I spot someone who seemed to be waiting for me. It’s not until after I’ve waved Junghwa and Noah away does that person approach. It was someone who I had honestly done my best to try and avaoid, but here she was. All smiles, her blonde hair up in a cute bun, dressed in a smart one piece and high heels. She looked very much dressed for work, but she seemed interested in me and I didn’t like that too much.

“We need to talk” the woman says approaching me. “It’s about your powers!” the woman stands directly in front of me. “What powers?” I watch the woman with a confused expression. “You're more than a drainer, you’re special-“I roll my eyes, here she goes with this I am special shit.

 

As we’re talking I spot Younghyun heading towards the cafe, but when he spots me, he rushes off and leaves. I rush out after him and in my stride I manage to catch up with him. “Can we talk?” the man stops taking a deep sigh, he looked like he really didn’t want to speak to me, but he reluctantly agrees. I excuse myself from Hyerin, telling her we could talk later, something accepts, but her annoyance is very visibly written on her face.

 

Younghyun and I head into the café, taking a seat near the back. The man orders a coffee and a bagel, and as he eats I make my apology. It was wrong of me to get into a relationship with him when there had always been this unresolved thing with Yien. I had been wrong, and even though I did like him and have strong feelings for him, I had done the same thing to him that I had done to Hanbin and Jinyoung.

 

Knowing that I loved Yien, I still pursued other relationships. So I apologise to the elder, he was someone I still cared for and I hoped that one day he could feel it in his heart to forgive me. The man’s face softens as I ask for his forgiveness, his hand reaches from across the table and he reassures me that he had and we was doing fine.

 

“So I've heard about your son…” the man brings up suddenly, it was like he had been itching to bring it up. “You must be overwhelmed” the man seems to sympathise with him. I explain to him the whole situation with Junghwa and explain that I had kept it under wraps for a while to get used to parenting, something that the elder understands.

 

“It's going to be awkward for a while…” the man admits that he wasn’t feeling hurt, but we would have to work our way to being friends. “I'll do my best, to try and be your friend” the man reassures that there were no hard feelings on his side of things before excusing himself for work

 

Later that day I pay a visit to Hoseok at his office which was located not too far from his own home. He had a small little set up office, which he shared with his young good looking receptionist barely out of his teens Park Jimin. The young boy blushes around his boss, making me wonder just what they could have been up to. I shake my head telling me not care, I had come here for another reason, not gossip.

 

“Look into it for me. I want to know who my father is” I ask the man not long after greeting him. “Shouldn’t that be easy? you’ve only lived with him through most of your life” the man says absentmindedly. “No, I mean my biological father”, the man sits up at those words. “Oh…Do you have any information on him or?” the man tries to ask as carefully as he can. “No. My brother won’t tell me” I explain.

 

“Which one?” the man asks. “Why does that matter?” a little confused and irritated. “If he’s not telling you, then it could be something linked to him and that would help narrow things down for your biological father” the man explains, and although it does make a bit of sense, I can help but question out loud.

 

“How would it have anything to do with him?” I think out loud, was that why he had been so reluctant to tell me? “I don’t know… but I can always look into that for you” the man says once I reveal that it was Jinwoon. “Now this is a really delicate question, but the mother who raised you. Is that your biological mother?” once again Hoseok is very delicate in his

questioning. I shake my head in reply.

 

Hoseok looks unfazed despite how little I was giving him. “Okay, and do you know your biological mother?” the man asks. “I only know her name” I write it down on a piece of paper and hand it over to the elder.

 

“That’s excellent! I mean… well the situation isn’t excellent, but you know it’s a good place to start” the man seemed very confident which leaves me feeling a little comforted. “Write down anything you know and I will get back to you by the end of tomorrow” the man hands over a notepad and pen, and watches as I write certain facts I knew.

 

“In the meantime, maybe you could take that boyfriend of yours somewhere special” the man suddenly speaks up as it looks like I’ve finished writing. “He’s been waiting a while to finally get you, and it’s been a bit intense recently hasn’t it?” the man casually comments.

 

Hoseok was right. Yien had come back very suddenly, and sure I hadn’t even settled down into what we were yet. I still felt sorry towards Younghyun and was taking it slow with the elder, but it seemed that I was getting everything I wanted out of the deal.

 

Yien was doing everything that I wanted and needed, and as usual I was taking advantage of that. I would take him out for a day trip with him as soon as possible. It would be nice to just be us away from the watchful eyes of the town.

 

With that thought in my head, I go to the café and spot chatting in the corner of the room with Hyojin was a familiar face that I wasn’t expecting to see. It was Yoon Dowoon, the sour faced chaebol’s son. Only while talking to Hyojin he looked pretty calm and almost sweet, as if he weren’t a threat to anyone in the world. I guess he really just hated me, and I would expect that now more than ever he would despise me. It would look like our shared ex left him to follow me back to Mokpo, that was unless they had reunited and he knew otherwise.

 

Even so, he had the fact that I had broken up with his best friend wouldn’t exactly show me in the best light for him. I grimace at the thought of me caring, our last meeting hadn’t been very pleasant and it wasn’t like there was any reason left for me to still be invested in what he thought about me or not.

 

So I focus on making my order. Stood behind the counter was a sour faced looking Jikyu who I strike up a conversation with. Despite being only fourteen years old, the younger boy seemed to be growing well beyond that age group as far as looks. I expect it should be because the younger was now a very active young wolf, although he did not look as the movies usually portrayed werewolves, I could still see he was taller and more toned.

 

Even still the young boy’s sulky expression completely balances that out, he never failed to look like the mischievous toddler who I had known so well. When I ask the younger what was going, he just mumbles something about being left to work whilst his sister did something.

 

It wasn’t clear enough, something I wasn’t used to was him being so withdrawn. He seemed to just be a bad mood, but he manages a smile when I buy him a pastry. The young boy claims immense hunger from his busy schedule, he was either, at school, with the pack or working here with his parents. I cheer him on knowing that the boy was simply venting and there was no malice in his complaints at all.

 

Once my order is done, I excuse myself waving goodbye to Hyojin who was serving a new table of orders. As I head out of the café I do bump with a person I had so little desire to see, stood outside of the exit leaning on the brick wall of the café was none other Yoon Dowoon.

 

It looked like he had been waiting for me, there’s still that look of disdain on his face for me, but this time he looked pretty smug along with it.

 

“We meet again Choi Youngjae” the man smugly greets me. “Yes it seems that way”, my reply is short cause I didn’t really want to extend this interaction any further. “Last time I saw you, I was warning you from hurting my best friend” as I assumed, he had cornered me into boasting.

 

“I thought since he told me you guys were broken up, that maybe he would be upset. I had expected him to be, but being with him a couple of hours has lead me to believe that you weren’t all that important to him” The man says with a satisfied grin spreads across his face. I should leave, but I can’t help it, instead of leaving it at that, I turn back to engage with the elder.

 

“So are you here for Jinyoung as well?” I ask the elder. “That’s none of your business” rudely replies. “It’s been a while since you guys broke up; I hope you don’t think it was because of me” I try to prod at the man’s weakness for the man. “Why would I?” the man pridefully counters. “I guess it could be the timing… but I’m sure that’s not the reason he hasn’t come back to you”. I deliver that last line with a perverse kind of pleasure for the pain that the other man might feel.

 

Finally leaving it like that, I head off. I don’t revel in it for too long, before heading toward my home. I know it wasn’t the kindest thing to say or do, especially as it seemed that Yoon Dowoon really did love Jinyoung. But I had been provoked, and that brief little back and forth between the two of us does keep my mind of some of the stomach churning issues I was having at the moment.

 

That only heightens when an older man approaches me. At first the man says nothing, he just slowly closes the space between us and quietly follows me. After a while he suddenly breaks the silence, after all I wasn’t going to ask something that could lead to more trouble for myself.

 

“Choi Youngjae, you’ve grown so well” the man says. I turn to watch the man confused, he wasn’t someone that I knew but part of me felt like I recognised him. The man seemed to feel like he knew me well enough, he places his meaty hand on my shoulder walking comfortably along with me. From the smell and temperature of the man, I could tell that he was drainer. I wasn’t sure whether to be alarmed or not, recently with the amount of attacks I had received from the drainer had left me with enough reason to feel alarmed.

 

“I’m disappointed, you don’t recognise me!”, the man comments with an attempt of a pout, I wasn’t sure if he was being serious or not. “Hmmmn, it was a while back. You were crying over the closet case so I’m sure you don’t remember much” the man taps my back lightly.

 

Suddenly a flash of memory hits me. The man had not been alone last time I had met him, over fifteen years ago at the cottage/coffee shop. The man had ben strangely familiar back then, but now it was confirmed that we had met.

 

“Do you remember? I told you “What might feel tough now, won’t hurt as much in the future” the man recites what he did in fact tell me, during one of my saddest loneliest moments. The man had been right, not long after we had met just over a year later I met Jinyoung who I had been with for a long time. That didn’t work out either, but in the end those failures had made me somewhat stronger.

 

So the man was right, what had happened in the didn’t hurt as much as it did then. “Oh good, you remember me!” I watch the man still a bit wary. He had been a stranger back then and he still was now. “You look tired; things have been tough recently right?” the man wears an empathetic look across his face, he runs his hand through his grey hair.

 

“These blood suckers are really working hard to test you” he casually comments. Test me? “Yes. To test your strength” the man answers my silent question. “Why?” I ask the elder confused by him. “Because one day, that day probably being sooner than later, you’ll have to face off against an important figure” the man mysteriously reveals. An important figure, who could he mean? Why did I believe what he was saying?

 

“The man who all of this into motion, the man who controls everything. What the hell does he mean? “What I mean is, before it’s too late and all of your precious family is wiped out, get stronger” that warning sends chills down my spine.

 

“Don’t ignore the help that is being given to you. The stronger you become the more chance you will have in surviving this as well” he says squeezing my shoulder, as if he were being supportive.

 

“Who are you?” I finally have the presence of mind to ask. “A good friend of your brother” the man replies. “What’s your name?” I ask him. “Go ask him. Tell him that uncle has returned and for now the kids will behave”, he says mysteriously before falling back and suddenly turning. I blink once and I already find that the man had disappeared, as if he had gone in thin air, the man didn’t seem real.

 

Some shivers travel down my back. I honestly was scared; I didn’t know if that was a warning or threat. If it was friendly or if I should be afraid.

 

When I get to Yien and Hoseok’s apartment, I have to pretend that I wasn’t scared out of my mind when around Yien. I didn’t want him to be worried about me. So I do my best to distract him with romantic actions.

 

Honestly, I wasn’t used to it. To engaging the elder, I usually was the one who followed his lead and let him do what he saw fit. Well now that we were stating to be together, I needed to be equal in my actions.

 

Over the night, I try cook for him feed him. I wasn’t as good a cook as he, but still the man eats my food heartily. Once he’s eaten and both of us wash and dress for bed. I massage him and listen to his work stories.

The man seemed to have been more stressed than he had been willing to show me, but I was relieved at the same time that he wasn’t hiding anything from me. Sure it was hypocritical of me to be concerned about what he was sharing with me, but it’s not like I was lying. I was just omitting some things that I didn’t want to think about or talk on.

 

Avoidance seems to work in making the night better for us, there is no tense or serious talks. It’s all fun, all jokes, flirtations which I was getting used to. In the past I never quite enjoyed the flirtation between Yien and I, I never let myself enjoy the feeling that came with it, too stuck on us just staying as friends. But I was starting to realise that it was so fun.

 

It really was something I enjoyed, I loved feeling desirable to Yien. I loved the way he would look at me when he didn’t think I was watching. I loved that I could tell what he was thinking just from glancing at his face. I loved when he teased me, when he made me think of something other than the shit storm that I was currently involved in.

 

With him I felt at peace, a peace that I had never ever honestly felt before. That peace doesn’t last too long, it’s soon disrupted by a phone call from my mother.

 

Normally I would let her go to voice mail and call her back the next morning in favour of sexy times with Yien. Now that he had a few wines in him, the look in eyes said he was definitely horny. But the time that my mother was calling, it was nearly eleven in the evening. Once it was past nine in the evening, my mother didn’t call anyone, she did text sometimes, but this wasn’t ordinary.

 

When I answer the phone, the voice on the other end of the phone sends shivers all the way up my spine. It was a voice I recognised, it was one that I had earlier this week. It was a male voice, a scratchy deep voice that wasn’t my father and it certainly wasn’t my dear mother’s voice.

 

“Ah you picked up, what a good son” the man speaks up. “Who is this?” I ask impatiently, I was already on edge. “It’s the person who just killed your father” my blood runs all the way cold. What did he just say?

 

“I spared your dear old mother, the boss said that if I went too far you might end up doing something stupid” the man continues. Was this a joke? Was he joking? It had to be a joke.

 

Noticing how quiet I had gotten, Yien starts to question what had happened, the concern drawn on his face. “Visit Sang Dong hospital, or the morgue. Whichever you feel fit to see” the man says before the call cuts off, and I don’t really remember what happens following that.

There is a short lapse in time, I just don’t remember it, there is no memories. All I know is a few days’ pass, days that I don’t remember. One minute I’ve received that call, the next I’m in a suit and tie surrounded by family and friends as we send off my deceased father.

 

The man that had raised me had suddenly been removed from this world, he had been cruelly taken away and it seemed that I was at fault. According to the call that I took other day, it seemed they had killed my father and harmed my mother with the intention of trying to get a reaction out of me.

 

It was hard to react right now. I had been so numb to it all, I hadn’t really taken it in. The reality that my parents had been viciously attacked inside their home, and that my father had been strangled in front of his wife of five decades. It was horrifying. It had shocked the whole community and most had come out to show their support, the funeral service was well attended.

 

However, that wasn’t really any comfort for the family that had been left with our patriarch. Sooyoung and Jinwoon as the eldest were trying to hold it together and were doing anything they could to support our now fragile and emotional mother.

 

Jinwoon has taken in our mother, she would be staying with his family. The woman was too shaken to stay at the home she had been attacked in. Even though there was a lot of police interest, my mother was not ready to speak on her attack, so without her evidence Jinyoung and his team were working to try and find whoever did this.

 

Junhyuk was outwardly struggling with his loss, he was angry and outraged. The man had been on a torrent of abuse, he wanted to know when the criminals would be caught.

 

Who were these people that they would target two elderly people? He was furious. Society was trying to understand these mongrels, but what do they do instead of just living quietly? They terrorise the citizens? It was fair to say that Junhyuk was put off by the drainer community.

 

He was even requesting that Soojung stop her work with the drainer community, to pull out of a project she was working on. I knew he was hurt and just latching, so I was allowing to say all these wrong things. I just hoped eventually he would come round and realise what he was saying was wrong.

 

All my siblings had different ways of coping with their loss, me on the other hand I was struggling between guilt and anger. I felt responsible but I knew at the end of the day it was this mysterious entity that was targeting me and it was someone that I needed to stop them. I realise that all my attacks, Younghyun’s attack, Minho and Sooyoung’s attack and my parents’ attack, they were all sick attempts to get my attention.

 

Jia was involved in this, and I suspected that Junghwa’s ex Goo Junhoe part of the drainer council was also involved in this. So I decide instead of sitting back and letting even more bad things happen, I would get up and try and find out who was responsible.

 

Remembering my chat with the cottage café man, I head over to café to find that most of the people inside were mourners. Most knew my father and send their condolences. It’s something that I am grateful for but can’t pay too much attention to. 

 

Changkyun is surprised to see me, but he pulls me to the back of the shop to talk to me in private. The man was hyper sensitive, he checks up on me. “Is there is any way I could help?” the man asks, empathy tattooed across his face. So I bring it up, I explain my run in the other day with the mysterious drainer.

 

When I do speak about my run in, the man’s eyes signal that he knew who I was talking about. “That’s Lee Woojin” the man he had told me about so many times. It seemed that the man had been away for a while and while he had been away the drainer community had gone out of control, their actions becoming wilder.

 

Usually he had them on a tight leash, but with him gone there were more attacks. Changkyun apologises, he believes that he should have been much more on alert and got his pack to cover all my family homes. But I knew he wasn’t to blame. I needed to know who was to blame, and when I found them, I would kill them.

 

Changkyun offers to escort me home but I decline, he gives in when he spots Hoseok who offers to go with me instead. I accept not only to get the other to drop his over protective behaviours. Plus, I had something that I needed to discuss with Hoseok. It had been a few days since I had let Hoseok into my complicated personal situation and I was curious as to what he had found out.

 

The man admits that it had taken him an extra day to find this all out, but it was because it seemed that my parents had tried hard to keep the identity of my father secret.

 

“Are you sure about this?” he asks; I guess he had found something big or else he wouldn’t be so concerned. “Just tell me please” I insist. “Okay. Well… I found out who your father is…” my heart races, I was so confused. “He’s… not a good guy” the man comments. I wasn’t exactly expecting that he would be, he left my teenage mother to raise me alone.

 

“This makes things more complicated than you ever thought” the man continues to warn. “More complicated? Who he is he?” partially regretting that I was asking. It’s not until Hoseok answers do I feel real regret.

 

“Im Chang Jung… “the man reveals, before handing over the paper evidence that he had discovered. I pause, because that name sounded so familiar, and then it hits me. “Shit” the word slips out of my mouth as I realise how tangled this was. Hoseok nods his head, it looked like he had worked it all out, in fact it seemed like he knew more than I did.


	13. ...Freedom?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning : incest/ molestation. If you are uncomfortable with this kind of topic, I'd skip the chapter. It's part of her early development. I will always put a skip to sign showing. where you can read from in this chapter seeing as it happens near the beginning.

Hunan Province, Hunan, which means "south of the lake is a province of the People's Republic of China. It is located in South Central China, south of the middle course of the Yangtze River, and south of Lake Dongting.

Loudi is a located in central Hunan province, China. It is positioned about 110 km southwest of the regional capital of Changsha and is thought of as a small to medium size city within the province

The western areas of the city were within the border of the mountainous and rocky regions. While the eastern areas were ordinarily considered to have hilly with gently sloping landscape. It was a place that was better known to its locals, but if it had to be described to a foreigner then that is how I would describe town city that I lived in.

 

It was a standard text book definition. In all honesty I couldn’t give much more, nothing more specific. There was so few memories that I shared with the world, I had been secluded away from the life and people. On very few occasions was I ever allowed outside of the large and sprawling Meng house hold, I wasn’t ever allowed the freedom that I desired.

During my nineteen years of life, I had always lived close within the confines of my family home. In the hilly and rural parts of Loudi, I had only ever learnt the things that I had through books and home school lessons. I was very isolated, there were no friends or family members around my age. I had developed a steel mentality, where I could survive alone with my own thoughts, but I had a dream to one day leave the home that I lived in.

The siheyuan that I had spent most of my time living in held a lot of secrets. A siheyuan was a historical kind of house that was usually found throughout China, most famously in Beijing, well this was according to the books that I had seen many times. According to my teacher Zhou Mi, siheyuan are sometimes referred to as Chinese courtyards. surrounded by buildings on all four sides.

My calm older and attractive teacher explained that, the siheyuan structure was the basic design used for houses, palaces, temples, monasteries, family businesses and government offices. In ancient times, a spacious siheyuan would be occupied by a single, usually large and extended family, suggesting riches and success. Today, many remaining siheyuan are still used as housing complexes, but many lack modern facilities. However, my prideful father had ensured that we were provided with plumbing, and electricity. All the modern essentials, although I wonder if it was as the man of the house of the employer of many.

As described, our Siheyuan did house riches and success, but there was a seediness under it all. Owned by father, Meng Goh a well-known and prospering man within the city. On the few occasions that I had been allowed out of the property, the Meng family name came with a lot of clout. There weren’t many people who didn’t know my father, the man whose whole business exploits I wasn’t wholly sure of.

From what I had heard from town, my father owned a few convenience stores across the province and the rest of his wealth was inherited. But seeing what I had seen at home lead me to believe there were far more ways he earned his way, and some of them weren’t legal.

For example, his side business which was operated from the Siheyuan could only be described as a brothel. It was a place where the higher echelon of the province came to get their needs taken care of. Lawyers, business men, civil service workers, police men and politicians ere customers who stayed and were entertained with a lot of discretion.

The customers had a choice of woman, man in between. Most of the men who were married, were provided with their own choice of what they called second wives. Like mistresses, some women were contracted to one man and through my father they would entertain those with a lot of money

Mistresses were contracted could get a monthly fee from steady clients in exchange of sex and guarantee of exclusivity. The “contract” doesn’t include romance or family life although some of these mistresses dream of a day when they could become a real concubine or even wife, something that rarely did happen. But in their circumstances it was better to try.

Most of the employees who worked in the brothel, though handpicked. Were from very poor households with families to take care of. In more desperate cases, some were homeless and had been housed and sheltered in the Siheyuan by my father. It was something they felt grateful for and in return for the minimal security he gave them, they gave up their bodies to whoever he saw fit. That was a deal that most of them saw fit and fair.

The home housed up to ten workers, all who stayed in cramped but still comfortable conditions. They would work around the house in the day to keep the home moving and at night they would entertain those that came through. From music, dance and conversation to whatever sexual favours their lovers seemed to desire.

Other workers could work off of site, they would accompany business partners or other influential guests during their business trips or other activities. They offer similar service to mistresses but for a shorter period of time. It’s this kind of prostitution that was linked to bribes and corruption in China. My father had customers who worked in high places, which allowed his corrupt business to keep going.

Whilst the employees my father worked, I was left alone to my devices most of the time. The man who called himself my father kept me In the house away from everyone. I didn’t socialise with the workers, he felt that I was too precious and innocent to be involved with such people. Such a thing was an irony, he after all was the person in charge of bringing them in the home and keeping them here.

None of the employees were allowed to have romances, not until he signed off on it. He needed to keep his employees nearby and if they had a romance outside of that, he feared they would find something outside of the safe haven he had provided for them.

Even as his child I received the same kind of controlling behaviours. Only when he saw fit did he ever allow me to walk out of the house, and most of the time it was with the family. I was a trophy for him to show off, for his fellow men to acknowledge how gifted family. I was only a jewel to be shown off. Growing up, I had been trained on how to entertain many people. Only with the eyes of my father did I ever entertain anyone that wasn't family and it was usually for a good price.

My mother through all of this seedy business stayed by her man, she was a weak woman without him. Preferring the power and respect she got while being his faithful and loyal wife. Around my father she was weak, quiet and withdrawn, but when he wasn’t around she loved to flaunt her powers to those around her, including me.

Since my mid-teens the woman withdrew her affections from me, it was like she didn't hold an emotional attachment to me. It was like she was just another employee, her contact with me usually involved dressing me up and putting on my make up when she was requested to.

On my father’s order she watched me all day, she teaches me how to help me clean up and dress up. She had tried to display this proper attitude on the outside, but on the inside she was just as seedy as the home we lived in.

 

When she thought no one was watching, she indulged in an emotional affair with one of the property's guard’s foreigner Jung Taekwoon. Although I wasn’t one hundred per cent sure about the other man’s feelings. He always seemed to be steel faced when I was around. He was polite to the woman of the house making conversation public, but I wasn’t sure if anything had progressed between the pair yet.

On my mother’s side of things, I was certain she loved or at least was attracted to the man. The way her eyes ate up the much younger male, he was tall, slender and muscular. The man had a very silent brooding look which could be considered as attractive, he wasn’t my type but objectively I could admit that he was a good looking man and my mother kept him around to indulge herself.

Today she reigns in her fan girling for the pretty foreign man, with my father in the house the whole day. She is running around doing whatever the man requests and this afternoon he instructs her to walk all the way across town to get the flowers that he loved the most. He gives her the exact money it would cost to get those flowers and get a taxi back and tells her he would be timing how long it would take her to come back.

Weak willed the kept woman rushes off alone, leaving my father and I alone. The man instructs me to get changed into some smart clothes, I would be performing for a politician and a son of his who he was introducing to the company of the women and entertainment he knew. It was disgusting, but it wasn’t the first time I had seen such a sight.

My father since I turned fifteen had started watching me with impure eyes, he didn’t watch me in the way a man should watch their daughter. He watched me the way some of these customers watched my father’s employees. Since I had grown up and started to look more like a woman, my father paid closer attention to me.

Around that time my mother seemed to pull away from me, and it didn’t take me long to realise that in a twisted way my mother was jealous of me. She felt that I was someone who was taking her husband’s attention away and seducing him. It was sick, but so was the way the man watches me change clothing.

“You're growing so beautifully” the man comments with a wide satisfied grin, his hands watching over my chest area. “Remember that you are a jewel, my Jewel” the man reaches over to stroke my face, but his eyes were firmly on my bare breast. “If I ever see you being touched by a person who isn't me, I will kill you immediately” the man coldly threatens still not ripping his eyes from my chest. This wasn’t the first time he had made such a threat; the man had always claimed me as he property. He had defeated me at an early age, I knew there was no escape from this.

So instead of arguing back or being revolted. I simply put on my clothes and prepare for a night of supervised entertaining. Growing up I had been taught to play towards my talents, singing and dancing. I was nothing spectacular, but I was enough to please a small party of important people who were looking for a young and pretty girl whose company they desired.

That night I perform a traditional dance I had recently learnt from my mother, I had watched as the woman forced me to practice in front of guard Taekwoon. Her intention was to win the leer of the man, if he saw the woman performing then he would be impressed. It was hard to tell with the man’s poker face.

However, weeks later in front of the politician and his son who very inebriated, I was getting a positive reaction. My father serves the man drinks; he was there to watch on as the son of the politician in his drunk state offers to marry me and take me to live with him in Japan. A proposal that seems to crack up his drunk father, but not mine.

The man’s son persists despite my discomfort. So it’s up to my father who steps in and dismisses me for the night. As I walk out, I hear my crooked old man offer my mother up to the same man who accepts. There is a lot of laughter, and I can’t be sure whether it was dry or dark humour.

As I head to the other building, I spot Jung Taekwoon stood in the courtyard drinking something that looked warm. As I pass, he watches me with a look of concern. He was someone I didn't trust, his manner was too quiet, it was too kind, plus his connection to my mother made me suspicious.

I could be wrong, maybe he was he just polite. Unlike the other guards, he could be someone who did actually care. With that caring then maybe he did love my mother or care about her but couldn’t do anything against the boss who had housed him. Or maybe he had fun charming people unwittingly.

Was he trying to charm me? I don’t know what to think of him. I take a few steps back as the elder approaches me. There was a softer expression on his face. The man gives me some sweets, there is a foreigner from Britain, he bought these sweets. Taking my hand, he forces the sweets in my hands, and keeps my gaze as if he were trying to shake me up. But I wouldn’t be weak to him, so I stare back with vigour.

“Eat them slowly or your teeth will rot”, as he speaks, he seems almost like an older brother personality, but was that all he was? I sigh aware that we could call attention to ourselves like this, so I rush back into the living quarters, into my empty room to sleep for the night.

Sit home to read, I knew there was television but my father still never allowed me to watch them. He believed that the television was the work of the devil. Only when walking through the town once, I had seen TVs. The moving pictures, it was truly beautiful. It had to be for my father to react so passionately. Maybe he feared that I would love want I saw so much that it would mean the end of something he loved.

So many times I had tried to run away from the toxic household, but the guards who lived in town were drainers and strong. They could outrun me, they were far stronger than I was and their senses were keener than most humans. My father had picked stone cold killers who would do anything in his name to protect him and what was close to him, and that included me.

A long time had passed since my foolish attempts to run away, now I had given up completely. I was resigned to the miserable life under the thumb, I knew I was stuck here and that was something that hurt too much to think about. So I just took every day as it came, mentally preparing myself for the mental torture that was inflicted on me.

The Siheyuan was a buzzing in the morning leading me to believe that something important was happening. Or someone important would be making a visiting to our building, and that is confirmed wen my father instructs my mother and Taekwoon to take me to boutique for a new dress. The man was known for being very tight fisted when it came to giving money away those close to him.

My mother rarely got the chance to do shopping, or do her hair professionally outside of the home. It was always something he gifted his wife when she did something particular vulgar and cruel, it was a reward for being so poised under his thumb.

It was rare for his wife and even rarer for me, the man didn’t buy me nice things. I wasn’t going out so what was the point of having clothes and jewels. I knew it also had to do with the fear my father had of me sparkling brightly, he didn’t want anyone to see me as beautiful.

The three of us, my mother, her toy boy Taekwoon and I visit boutique located not to far from the house. It was one that I had visited since I was young, most of the employees came here to get new dresses whenever my father felt it was necessary. It was a small shop where fashionable, usually expensive, clothes and other articles are sold

My mother looks through all the clothes with a stern eyes, while I stand and watch. I was aware that Taekwoon was watching me, it was making things more awkward on my side of things. When my mother looked up, a sour frown was plastered across her face. No doubt she thought I was seducing the man that she really liked.

After half an hour of browsing through the clothing section, the woman settles down on a Qipao. It was a traditional Chinese dress. Qipao is like a delightful blossom in China's bright-coloured fashion scene. Because of its unique charm, many women wear it to show their special grace. This is what I had read in the books of mine, but I hadn’t expected this kind of dress would be chosen for me.

Most of the qipao were made of silk, and embellished, with thick laces trimmed at the collar, sleeves and edges. The dress empresses of past dynasties wore them. Their style of dress was renowned as the highest of standards for Chinese women for several thousand years.

According to the text books, Qipao portray Chinese women's modesty, softness and beauty. Like Chinese women's personality. Like many fashions, the beauty of Qipao stands away from others. Stunning is one of its features from the collar, loop, chest, waist and hips to the lower hem. Qipao completely shows off a woman's figure. Not only does it lay stress on the natural beauty of a female figure, but also makes women's legs appear slenderer.

My mother and the home guard watch me as I leave the changing room to show the dress. Immediately I feel awkward under the gaze of these two people, both different meaning to their gazes. On one hand, I had the man who I suspected to be my mother’s lover, watching me with the eyes of a man. He blinks slightly surprised, but settles on a soft kind of smile.

Meanwhile, the woman next to him. The woman who had birthed me and should have loved me for every day that I lived, looked honestly very jealous. Whether it was for my youth, my beauty or if it was because the way maybe love was watching me. It was uncomfortable.

“It seems this will be the dress, you’re already such a good little seductress” the woman coldly dismisses me back into the changing room. I see a flash of disgust on Taekwoon’s face, but I can’t quite tell why he was like that. Whether it was because, he had thought of me as nothing different from the Siheyuan employees or it was something else, I didn’t know.

There is a complete silence as we walk all the way home. I was feeling a little fed up and unsure what to do, how long would I remain in this? Unable to escape, feeling like I was suffocating. As I was walk down the road, I can feel Jung Taekwoon’s eyes on me.

Before we can head inside of the property, the older woman turns to me blocking my way. She instructs Taekwoon to head inside so she can have a word with me. Although the man looks reluctant, he walks past her and enters the house, leaving the two of us there.

“Keep your hands off of what doesn’t belong to you” the woman coldly warns. “Close your eyes and mouth, you are not someone who gets to fall in love. You are someone else’s property” the woman ruthlessly warns. “You’ll regret taking what’s mine” the woman reaches for my hair, she tugs me down to the floor giving me a kick.

The woman doesn’t even pause, before walking past me and entering the property. Despite the people who could have been watching on, she had to have her little moment. She had to threaten me and ensure that I wasn’t stepping on her property. I was so angry, but there was nothing that I could do. If I was to do anything, it would only make things worse.

Brushing myself, I get up and enter the property. Despite the chance I have to run, I knew I would be stopped. When I return I am forced to practice my instrumentation for the afternoon. I was playing the Guhzeng for the afternoon, I go into the early morning. I play for an audience of one, my father was perched on a chair silently watching me.

As I play I feel my hands cramping up and hurting. As I try to soothe my fingers, my father reaches for my hands, he licks and sucks finger. Engulfed in his sloppy mouth, the man’s tongue swirls around my fingers. His eyes are closed as he looks to be in pleasure. A shiver of displeasure runs down my neck, I hated this completely.

Once the man was done, he pulls away and strokes my face. His eyes watch over me, his eyes showing his impure thoughts. “Get ready my love” the man says stroking my face before suddenly standing up and turning to leave. The man today allows me to get changed alone thankfully. It turned out he was busy and wouldn’t have time to letch over me.

Once I am washed and dressed, I settle down to get my hair and makeup done. On request of my father, I do my hair up the way he would like it. It was an intricate and loose bun, he claimed it would be enchant the guests.

The Chinese are famous for their fairy tales and fantasy characters. And the hairstyles that each of these mythical beauties possessed was enchanting. The intricate bun on the head attached with a fancy ornament while the rest of the sleek and gentle hair falls down the back.

Lightly I put on my make up, I preferred to keep the makeup light and natural. I had discovered that customers liked a natural look, they didn’t like for the make up to age me at all. I needed to look young, innocent and unassuming, it was what they liked of me.

Once I am all done, until one of the employees calls me to head into entertainment area. Father was already engaging people in the other building, Jung Taekwoon was waiting for me. As he walks me over to the other building, I ask who the special guest.

“Some Korean man” Taekwoon says casually. He was non committed, like he didn’t really care. He does explain that the guest was a business man who was known to like traditional Chinese music. He was a rich man who was going to do a big deal with my father.

“You have to do well…” the man says which was rare. He had given more information than he rarely did. I can’t help but be suspicious, was he helping me or did knowing mean more trouble for me and was he setting me up? I don’t get much time to think about it, the man signals for me to enter the building. I was sure my father wouldn’t let me wait to talk to Taekwoon.

That night close to an hour, I sit down and entertain the audience of foreigners. I play all the songs that I had learned on the guzheng, the guhzeng is a Chinese traditional plucked musical string instrument with over 2500 years of history. It has 16 or more strings and movable bridges. The modern guzheng usually has 21 strings with a length of 64 inches.

The guzheng has a large resonant cavity made from Wutong wood and other components often are made from other woods; usually for structural and decorative purposes. Performers playing the guzheng often wear finger picks on right hand or both hands. The picks can be made of different materials such as Ivory, tortoise shell, and hard plastic.

However, when I practiced in front of my father I was forced to practice and perform without any protection. The man preferred that I played the instrument like that, so even though it hurt my hand. I played it that way, and it usually got a positive response from others.

Fortunately, I didn’t have to pay that instrument often, so today I would just grit my teeth and play and entertain. The handsome looking foreigner who were entertain was so much younger than I had expected, he was tall and broad. The man was unlike anything that I had ever seen before. He looked to be bright and pleasant on the outside, but the more I look at him, the look in his eyes gives off more.

Unable to rip my eyes from him, I watch as he socialises. The foreigner’s mandarin was good, apparently he had travelled well. He very bright and confident, holding the attention of the whole room, so much so that he makes my father almost useless for the night. However, his demanding attitude means that he does keep my father busy for the night.

Whilst my father heads out with other porters to get drinks, the foreign man approaches me, I look down away from him. The way he looks at me, it sends my heart aflutter, although there was a little bit of distrust in him. After all, he was a man who was in this kind of seedy place.

“Your skills are good”, the man had a silky smooth and deep voice. “How old are you?” the man asks. I politely answer and the man nods his head in reply. His eyes search mine; he was so attentive, I wasn’t used to this. It wasn’t ogling, he seemed to be interested in what I was saying.

“Are you really comfortable working here?” the man asks. Normally I would answer that I was, normally my father was watching. But today, looking into the man’s eyes I can’t help but tell the truth on how I feel, I tell him I have no choice. “This is good, you're honest just like he said” the man comments.

I look up to the man confused, the man grins amused. “I will take care of you” the man promises out of the blue. “You don't know me” I reply, it wasn’t the first time I heard such a problem, but he didn’t sound as sleazy as the others that I was used to being around.

“The people who know you, do they take care of you?” the man asks. That question stumps me. After being shoved by my jealous mother and molested by my disgusting father. There was nothing keeping me here, but how could I leave? I had tried so many times.

Before I can ask the man what he expected from me, my father returns with drinks and food. As soon as he enters, I can tell that he's suspicious. He stands in front of me claiming his territory, staring at the foreigner. He tells me to head home.

“How much” the foreigner asks. “How much for this precious jewel?” the foreigner nods past my father towards me. “My daughter is not for sale” my father is stern in reaction. “But I want her” the man was not backing down. My heart races with something I hadn’t felt in so long, excitement and hope.

“She is someone you cannot have” my father was so stubborn. “Do you have someone in mind for her?” the foreigner asks with an amused grin. “No man is worthy for her” stone cold, my man stays resolute. “This is true, certainly not her twisted father” the man counters, silencing the whole room.

“What did you say?” my father replies in shock. “I heard the rumours as soon as I came to town” the foreigner wasn’t backing down, and his gaze remained on mine. “Now today, watching the way your perverted eyes watch you innoc-“ the man continues to speak but my father erupts.

“Okay, get out now!!” the older man shouts angrily. “How about this, I let you live and I take your daughter away. Or I kill you no still take away your daughter?” he delivers that line so coldly that it sends chills down my spine. I was so shocked. So was my father. “Get the hell out of here!” red faces, the old man yells to the unfazed foreigner.

With one click of his fingers, suddenly my father's guards are over powered. Heads snapped out, or held up and left powerless, the foreigner walks towards me his eyes focused on me. Ignoring my father, with not much effort he pushes my father away. My father tries to attack the foreigner once again; still looking unfazed, he turns to strangle father in front of my eyes with a grin on his face.

Gripping my father’s throat with one hand, he squeezes away the life in my father’s life. My father’s face goes from being completely red to suddenly going white as a sheet and is left lifeless.

“Hello, my name is Im Chang Jung, I’ll be the man of your life” the man says as he drops my father’s lifeless body to the floor. Surprisingly I wasn’t too shocked or hurt, I was cold in my reaction. I felt some relief, I was grateful and I knew that it was wrong.

“Come with me” the man proposes, almost as if he was asking me for a date. “How could you do that?” I ask the man suddenly gaining my senses. “He was a pervert; I don't accept those kind of people!” the man seems genuine. “So you kill?” I counter, still finding him a little problematic. “I may not be innocent, but I'm not some pervert who can't keep my eyes off my child” he didn’t seem like a completely good man, but he had to be better than my father the pervert.

“Come with me” the man repeats his request. “Why?” I ask the man. “So I can protect you” the man seemed so genuine. “I can't, I can't do this” there was some warped sense of loyalty in me, so I run out hoping to get to the main building and get the phone number.

As I leave I bump into my mother, tears streaming down her face. Eyes wide, she slowly backs away, she was watching on shocked and upset. I run into people her arms, desperate for her help but it’s not long before I feel something painful stuck in my stomach.

“GET OFF ME!!” the woman yes at me, pushing me away. I stumble back before falling into some strong and broad hands. Looking down I see a bloody knife in my stomach, the woman had stabbed me. Behind me holding me was the foreigner, he self so steady and dependable.

When I look upwards to my mother, I hear a strangled screaming. I see that the man was holding by the throat, he crushes her throat and he kills the woman without hesitation. It’s shocking to see the woman’s life extinguished by the man that she claimed to like so much.

The handsome stranger Chang Jung looms over me as he watches me slowly fade away. “From now on, your mine” the man says as he strokes through my head, he continues to stroke my face until I’m gone. He looked so calm, for someone who claimed they were going to protect me, there was no urgency in his behaviour. He was just letting me die like this.

-19 yrs old.

SKIP.

According to the books I had read in the past, Jinhae is a reasonable size town in the South Gyeongsang province. It is known mainly for its large Korean and American naval base and its Cherry Blossom festival held every year approximately in early April. There are possibly more cherry blossom trees to be seen here than in any other location in Korea, and although there are a couple of popular, groomed places for tourists to see them, you can find them strewn throughout the hillsides surrounding the town.

Aside from the cherry blossoms, the city has many of the features you'd expect to find in a Korean town, with restaurants, shops, supermarkets, bars, a traditional market, noraebangs and so on. It was pretty and calm little town, but not exactly the kind of place that I expected to find myself.

City landscapes, skyscrapers and the grit of larger cities are what I preferred. Capital cities which were busy and chaotic, I thrived off of the busyness of day to day activities. But here I was, by the sea side in this slow paced and somewhat mundane life.

Staying here in this city was only made worse as I had to sit and watch him fall in love with wolf girl. Waiting for the president of the hotel chain, the young man and I were to head off for business. The president who had been parachuted into his position through his family connection, despite such a sensitive position for himself, the man was full of confidence and bravado.

Im Chang Jung was set to be handed the hotel empire that his father had built up, with different hotels scattered across the world. The man had settled upon the original Jinhae branch, due to some nostalgic emotions. The man returned to Jinhae, he was there to see his childhood sweetheart and had stuck around to live out a sweet romantic situation.

Stood in the foyer of the hotel, the man takes hold of the young and unruly wolf girl. In her human form, the girl was a real natural beauty. Tall, slender and model like in her looks, but still she looked scruffy and messy. She was a woman who was a commoner, working as a concierge at the hotels. After watching her in action, I had seen that the woman was very strong and clever, but everything else about her was pretty underwhelming.

Still the exceptional man that I had come to know, the man who had saved me from my cruel parents was besotted with the underwhelming girl. He takes the woman’s hand and even though she tries to squirm out of his grasp, he doesn’t allow it. He leads his employee through the foyer out of the exit, ignoring the audience of customers and employees who were watching on with intrigued.

Leaving the swivelling doors, I follow the pair out towards the comfortable and expensive car. The driver was waiting to take us to the restaurant for a meeting that Chang Jung had set up. Despite the meeting holding great importance for the company, the man didn’t seem to care at all. He never did care about the legitimate and legal deals he did.

Focused on his sweet little love affair, the president of such a big company was making romantic faces with his girlfriend. Admittedly I felt some jealousy, after all the man and I had shared a deep connection. We had lived through life and death together, the man had saved me from my parents, he had saved me from the brink of death and had helped me through my life as a drainer. I became better and stronger because of him.

Taking my place in his car, I sit and watch the pair interacting. Stood outside of the car, Chang Jung was whispering sweet nothings into the girls’ ear. She had tried so hard to put across that she was different from other, that she was some special girl who had resisted the charms of the rich boss. That she had played hard to get and made him change, she was very foolish.

Little did she know that the man she loved was still so cruel and he had a penchant for criminal behaviours. He was still living in the darkness, the darkness that I knew he lusted for. Instead of simply being the heir to a fortune, the man wanted to make more money. He was greedy and would stoop to almost any means to do it, he was ruthless.

Still, here he was completely soft and light for the unremarkable Park Minyoung. Stroking her face, the taller male leans in to kiss the beautiful girl. He leans in to deliver a very soft and gentle kiss to the woman, it was soft and quite meaningful kiss. The woman kisses back and grips onto his elbow. I watch on jealous, jealous for what he shared with the woman, I wished that I could have that kind of love, a normal kind of love.

When Chang Jung does pull away from the kiss, the woman is totally flustered. The woman berates the man about kissing her in public, she was acting embarrassed like a lead female in a cheesy romantic comedy. She was repulsive to watch, so I turn to look away and wait a couple of minutes before finally being joined by Chang Jung.

Once he’s said his goodbyes to the wolf girl, we head over the Thai restaurant to meet a client of his. This client wasn’t someone who could help his legitimate business, no this was connection in his underworld business. The man who had been Korean born, but worked mostly out of Thailand, had asked us to meet in the Thai restaurant having fallen for the local cuisines.

Waiting outside of the restaurant, dressed to the nines was Chang Jung’s other woman. If the wolf girl was the woman that the fun trophy that he liked to show off, then the fair woman Choi Woori was his side woman. His go to woman, his trusted tool and his lover.

The man had the young fair twisted around his fingers, she was deeply and foolishly in love with him. Despite knowing that the man was in a relationship with the wolf girl, Woori clung to him. She had clung to him from the very beginning, in Mokpo where she had latched on. She had followed him wherever he needed to go. 

With her magical fair powers, the man had decided to keep her by his side. The woman was admittedly a very strong and impressive tool, she was a devious and sneaky woman. Unlike the wolf girl, she knew about the seedy behaviour of the man that she loved. Despite knowing what kind of man that he was, she stayed by his side and made herself indispensable for him.

“Where were you, I was going to leave in a few minutes” the young woman pouts, she was sulking. She was fresh out of her teens, she was foolish despite the seriousness of the situation. Chang Jung pets her simply and tells her, planting a kiss on her lips, which wipes seems to appease her.

“Come on, let’s work” the man pats his second woman on the butt before leading her towards the restaurant. Just those actions set her heart racing, she was excited just from being around him. Frustrated, I follow the man and his woman inside to the important meeting.

Chang Jung could win allegiances through his charm and words, but if that failed he would use his power and strength. If that failed, then we would use the drainer by his side who had brute strength. I had seen a lot of bloodshed, a lot of cruel acts, some which I had committed myself. I was tired of committing those acts myself, but if push came to shove I did it.

Fortunately, since the ditzy fair had pledged her allegiances with us, she had cut into the hard work we did. The woman’s overwhelming powers of control, made her a force to be reckoned with. She could make any creature on this earth do her bidding just by the words she said. It was dependant on her words and how she said them, but the woman was wily and foxy. She knew just what to say and how to say it to get her way.

So during that dinner, when the business man puts up his guards and becomes a little combative against Chang Jung’s business suggestion. Choi Woori steps in, she uses her words almost as a strong spell that binds the stubborn man and his associates into a deal. It left them with no choice, and there would be no chance of get revenge despite this. Her powers were full proof, and made Chang Jung’s life so much easier.

That night the man is in high spirits. As we sit down just the two of us at a bar on the out skirts of town. We sit in our own both near the back, it was dark and secluded leaving us to comfortably talk to each other.

“You seem tense recently, what’s up?” the man asks in a friendly manner. We had always remained quite friendly, but as Chang Jung became distracted by his work and women’s problems. He had very little time to pay attention to me, he hadn’t noticed how withdrawn I had become, or at least that was what I had thought.

“Meng Jia, is there something you need to say?” the man says with a playful smirk on his face. He looked concerned, like he really wanted to hear what I had to say, so I start speaking to him. I express my boredom with the dark life and the dark deeds we have been doing. I didn’t enjoy the bloodshed and I hated being constantly trying to control my thirst.

“Freedom…” I ask the man for my freedom. I had gone from being by my father’s side all my life, being trapped inside of the Siheyuan. Now I was by his side and I still lacked the freedom that I had always desired. Sure I could walk around on the outside, I could see and do the things that I wanted to do. As long as I was around Chang Jung, I still wasn’t free.

“Let me leave” I ask the man. I wanted to live my own life, a free one where I could either travel the world or I could settle down into doing something that I loved doing. “Have you thought this through?” the man asks, smiling when I nod my head in response. “I guess I have my hands full” the man replies casually. He was busy with his work and his women, I didn’t fit into that picture, not anymore

“One day I will return for you” the man ends the conversation with that promise. Despite giving me my freedom, it was going to be limited. I didn’t know for how long, but I hoped that it would be long enough for me to do all the things that I had wanted so badly to do. I wasn’t going to argue any further, I would take it, whatever time it was.

“How about one last time?” the man asks, his hand travelling down to my thigh. I don’t move, because I liked the feeling. However, it had been so long since we had done something like this. He had been so busy, but now he knew that I was leaving, so he had to get the last of me.

-23 yrs old.

“Why do you do your job?” the man across the desk asks me. I was sat in the sergeant’s office, sat with Kim Minjun my boss and leader. The man had been loyal and caring through everything, he had been there as I started. Through my rookie years he guided me, he made me believe that being a woman in this line of work wasn’t lesser, and back me up whenever some sexist nonsense was thrown my way.

To make up for all the and I was now a cop protecting lives. There had been so many innocents that I had fought for, so many crooks that I had taken down. As tiring as the job could be, it was worth it to know that I was bringing justice to those who couldn’t fight for it. It also made me proud to know that I could defend myself and others, something I lacked the ability to do as I had grown up in Siheyuan.

Sat in my meeting with Minjun, the man was trying to get into my head. To see if I was ready to return to work. It had been a while since I had been in work, I had been forced to take a break when my thirst became a threat to myself. It had become a risk to myself and also to the people I was working with, and I had been instructed to taking care of myself before I could get back into the swing of things and works.

The last few months had been very intense. Although I was not actively on the case, I still heard from my boyfriend was going on in order to capture the crooks of the JB organisation. Even with the leader having died, we were still trying to dismantle the crooked organisation.

After killing Im Jaebum, we thought that maybe finding out the links of his organisation would be easy. We had hoped with the capture of his associate Wang Fei Fei that we could at least find out some names to lead us on a path, but the woman despite her sentence for kidnapping and assault she woman had stayed silence. She had plead guilty and would be doing her time.

Jackson was trying his best to establish some communication with her. He needed to talk to her, he thought she was the key to breaking down the organisation. It had been almost impossible to find an in to the criminal organisation, now that they had gone even deeper underground.

“Do you think you can do it? Are you up to it?” the senior asks. “Yes” I was sure and resolute. It would take a while, but I was determined to take down the criminals who were not only endangering the nation, but their reach was global. If we took them down, it would cut a huge majority of the crimes that crippled those around us. If we took them down, then we would think of taking down other criminals.

“Okay well, rest up this weekend” the man tells me to rest and that we would start our new operation next week. I would be working day and night to get back into the underground network, I would be working my way up the ladder. But for now, I was being given a peaceful weekend alone with my fiancé. It was a special weekend too, so I would make sure to enjoy it as much as I could before be returning to the deep-end.

That weekend Jackson Wang and I spend the weekend romantically. It had been a while since we had, even since our return to Seoul. Since the fight in Austrailia, to Fei’s court case and all the work that was coming our way. We hadn’t gone to the movies; we hadn’t eaten a delicious meal nor had we just spent the morning in bed. We were newly engaged, and so on the afternoon of Sunday, we celebrate Jackson’s birthday together.

It’s a lovely and relaxed day, one that makes me appreciate the man for what he was. Despite being in such a difficult and sometimes heart-breaking job, the man still was warm, friendly and positive. He was caring and I felt blessed to even know the man, let alone being with him. I was so grateful for the man and the happiness he had provided me.

Although the weekend is shirt, it leaves me rejuvenated to work. I head to work, and I am sent off to help with ripping out the centre of the JB network. I head under cover to work for club, a former contact from the mansion had reached out with a job offer.

My identity as a bar maid and former worker at the blood bank made me very believable. Nobody had ever made me and my identity, and so I could easily work in this mansion for now. The man was a bar, in which on the surface allowed those marginalised in the LGBT community could party amongst their own community without harassment.

However, it hid very seedy behaviours, it was definitely linked to the JB network, this much I was sure of. It was linked to Jaebum, to Fei and all the messed up criminal activities that were taking place in Seoul. So I was determined to find the link that was needed, I knew I wouldn’t see Jackson for a long time, but when I did comeback I hoped we could continue our lives on in a much safer world.

After a week of working in the mansion I finally get my first contact with some of the higher ups. I am called up by the manager of the mansion before the beginning of my shift. The man’s name was Lee Junho, he was stone faced and very proper man. He seemed to be all about his business, I wasn’t sure if it was the business of the mansion or if there was more that he was in charge of. Was he just a pawn or could he be pulling strings?

Lee Junho takes me to the boss’ office, he claims that I had caught the attention of the owner Hwang Chansung. Through our research, we had found that the man was the wealthy fiancée of Wang Fei. He was only linked to legitimate and prosperous businesses. The mansion being one of them, he seemed to be simply a person who had been used by Wang Fei for his money. Simply a fool and an idiot in love.

However, calling me into his office after a week. There is nothing innocent on his part, when he greets me. The man sits on the edge of the table watching me, his eyes eating me up. Maybe he was just simply a letch, or he could be more. I wasn’t sure I was trying to assess.

For around half an hour, the handsome and quite beefy toned man and I sit down with some wine and we get talking. His hand doesn’t take long find my thigh, the man gives it a firm squeeze. I smile through gritted teeth as the elder doesn’t even hide the lustful gaze he had for me.

The uncomfortable moment on my part is interrupted by the harsh knock on the door. It startles me a little causing the man to laugh. He tells whoever had knocked the door to enter, and the person who enters surprises me.

“Hyung you’re here!” Chansung greets the man stood in the doorway. It had been twenty years, and he still looked the same. The man had most certainly been drinking blood and lots of it. I had only recently started letting the aging process begin, but when it came to Im Chang Jung it looked like hadn’t ever let time catch up with him.

“Give us some time” the man was just as handsome, tall, slender and toned. He still looked so youthful despite his advanced years. Suited up, the man really wore the suit as if it were his own skin. It just looked so natural, his hair slicked back showing more of his handsome features.

My heart flutters at the sight of the man, memories flash across my mind. All the emotions come flooding back, despite there being a twenty-year gap since I had last seen him, the emotions aren’t different. After all these years, I still flutter for the man, I still loved him. And from the look in his eyes, he seems to know that. A grin spreads across his face, his eyes were fixed on me, it was just like that first night we met.

-43 years old.

It hadn’t been long since my return to Korea but already a lot had happened. The boss had made it that way, we were to act and cause as much havoc for those around us. We were supposed to incite the powers to come out to the best potential. It was supposed to be an even fight, but at the moment it wasn’t anywhere close to being a fair fight.

Trying to push the protagonist has been a lot of hard work. The city of Mokpo was still in shock. There was something interesting on how a small group of troublemakers could shift the mood of a whole town, we were really making an impact on the general town’s folk. But it was the hero who still needed some work. 

This was all taking place in Mokpo, the home town of the hero. The place he had returned to almost seven years ago, with his then boyfriend. They had left Suji, Min and Yien who had all eventually went to travel and the ladies settled on London, whilst Yien continued to roam. Jackson and I had been the only ones left in Seoul, that was until I had to leave him.

For many years I had worried about the man and how he was coping, without me could he live his life the same? I had secretly hoped that the answer would be a no, but in real life months ago I had seen he had definitely moved on quite far in his personal life and career.

From the shadows, I had watched Jackson getting commendation for his service in the police force. He had dedicated a big chunk of his career to his service, and today he was being watched on by family, friends and colleagues to celebrate his success.

Minjun sunbae proudly watches on in the back, the man had diligently climbed up ranks and was watching his colleagues. Jackson thanks his colleagues, friends, family and his wife for bringing their beautiful baby into the world. Those words taste bitter as none other than Wang Fei Fei steps up with their cherished little toddler.

That day I had spent the pair around, after the ceremony they walked through the park walk with a stroller. Jackson holds the woman close by her waist, playing with the toddler in her arms. The pair had apparently developed a relationship through his work, the man had seen her flip from being a criminal to being someone who had changed morally.

Being confronted with this reality, there was no one else to confront but the man who had kept me from Korea and Seoul for the last fifteen years. The man who had lead me back into my life of criminality and callousness. I was by his side, to help him through whatever it was that he needed to do.

Even though I had made the choice to return to him and by his side, I was still bitter that he had kept the truth about Jackson from me. When I return back to Mokpo, I confront the man about the lies that he had told me. He had always told me that Jackson had been so focused on catching my supposed killer that he had never.

“Did you know about this?” I ask the man. “Yes” he simply answers with a grin. “Why didn't you tell me?” I confront the man, still bitter and hurt from what I had seen in Seoul. “You didn’t need to know. You were with me and we were happy” the man so calmly says. “Weren't you happy?” the man asks, his mischievous eyes search mine.

Admittedly I had been happy, the man was someone who was charming, funny, intelligent. Even through our criminal behaviours, I found myself happy with the man. He was now a one-woman man, he didn’t have the wolf and the fair lingering, and now he was focused on me.

“He forgot about you and moved on, he has replaced you” the man says disapprovingly. “I couldn't replace you, you're someone j can't do without” the man was all about his sweet talk. “I need you…” says and it seems really genuine. “It is the first time hearing that” the man reaches for my hand, the look in his face makes me assured.

Everything was set in motion, we were to terrorise the people closest to the chosen one. We had aggravated him enough and all we needed to do

One of the most mysterious parts of the operation had become elusive. We were trying to find the narrator. He was hidden and with his powers he would always be many steps ahead. We could do it without him, but it would be more chaotic but the anger in hero wouldn't be stirred until he was pushed into acting, into becoming a fierce match

That was why we had captured his boyfriend Younghyun, why the attempt to kidnap Chois had been made. Youngjae had a son, but according to the boss we can't touch the child. But there was a member of the family that Chang Jung was fine with disposing of.

So that left it up to Junhoe and I up to the task. The man was a little stirred up and he wanted to punish the hero for impregnating the woman he loved. Junhoe was obsessed with Park Junghwa, the woman had ended their relationship so suddenly and now he was knowing the reason. She had a child during the time they were separated, but it appeared he still had some feelings for her and he was jealous of the hero.

However, the Drainer Council’s visual had to let go of his animosity towards the hero. He was to do as asked by Chang Jung, and that was to track down the people who had raised Youngjae and to kill one of them. The man had predictably taken care of the man who had raised Youngjae, he had battered the woman up and left Youngjae pushed to the edge.

As I watch Choi Woobin’s funeral, Lee Woojin is by my side. The man reports that slowly and surely, Youngjae was discovering the truths that had been hidden from him. He was being forced to confront the truth slowly, and now in protecting his family, he was going to have to do something to stop the attacks on the ones that love him the most.

Lee Woojin wasn’t someone that I trusted, but I knew that he was so loyal to Chang Jung. He had gotten suspiciously close to the wolf pack, but I didn’t think he would do anything to stop the plan. After all we had killed Youngjae’s adopted father without his interference. For now, everything was going to plan. I was so deep into this, there was no turning back.

That night, I head over my loved one. The one I had committed myself to, the one whose wishes I was going to make come true. Sat with his blood bag, the man sits down to gain his strengths. I sit with him, stroking through his hair, the man reaches for my thigh pulling me closer.

“My boy, he’ll be hurt right?” the man asks, foolishly as if he hadn’t even thought that through before instructing Junhoe to end Choi Woobin’s life. The man didn’t seem genuinely upset, after all he had always disliked the man who raised two of his children.

“Soon me and my boy will be reunited” it was sad when I thought about it. The man was still so warped, after so many years of being away from his children, the first time to he would face off with them, he was planning to do it in a fight. He was going to ruin one of his children’s lives first before then. He was twisted, but I loved him despite all that.


	14. ...Paths

“You haven’t aged Park Jinyoung…” the man across from me says with a knowing smirk. It had been over a decade since I had last seen him, I hadn’t honestly hadn’t expected to see the younger man again. Last time we had seen each other we were abroad in Europe, the man had been with his small and cute wife. The powerful man had shown me my future, and since then things have been happy for me. I had found the person I had been destined to, sure there were good and bad days to be experience, but we still we were still going strong all these years later.

 

So much time had passed that the past was starting to feel almost like a past life. I hadn’t expected to see the handsome and smaller younger, he seemed to have aged a little bit. Still the man had a cuteness to him, his big doughy eyes that seemed to be quite trustworthy. So when he had called for me at the police precinct, I didn’t hesitate to give him some of my time.

Now here we are, we were sat in my small but separate office. I had worked so hard over the years to become a team leader, and that came with some bonuses. We could sit down over some instant coffee and we catch up. The man is friendly and reveals that he was in town to visit his wife who would be setting up her own law firm in town. Surprised, I congratulate the man and ask if he would be joining her and working here.

 

The man shakes his head, the look in his eyes. It was of fear, I had never seen the man look so scare and uncomfortable. Back when I first the man he had been strong, calm and relaxed, now he looked the complete opposite. What had happened in the time since I had last seen him?

“You must leave Youngjae” the man breaks the silence that had settled over between the two of us and what he had to say was shocking. The man looked quite serious, and what he was saying he seemed to mean, but why?

“He was never yours to begin with” the man adds, but my brain was still trying to catch up to what he had said. “You must have seen it over the years, you must have noticed the presence of someone who always belonged there” my heart drops slightly, it always did when the brief thought passed through my head.

“Yien Tuan is the person who always belonged there” the man says matter of a fact. However, what he was saying, it was taking me aback Jiu confusing me. “Why are you suddenly saying this? You’re the one who lead me to him, you’re the one who said I should wait for him” I left baffled and getting quite irritated because I did as I was told.

“Sorry…” the man says his face crumpling up, he looked sorry and he was making me more and more concerned. “I was told to lead you to Youngjae…” my face remains scrunched up, I was so confused. “He was always someone you were meant to run into, but you were never supposed to last as long as you have” eyes wide, I watch the man as he seems to confess to me.

“Youngjae was supposed to be a flash in the pan for you, the one you met before you ended up with your one” the man kind of struggles to speak out. What one? How could I believe him? After all he was claiming that he lied to me all those years ago, how could I believe him now?

The man claims it was because Youngjae’s life depends on the truth. “Why should I believe you?” I snap irritated by the man. All these years had passed and I had not only fallen in love with Youngjae, but I had become dependent on the man, I relied on him and needed him in my life.

“No matter how I much that lied to you. The visions I showed you were still real” the man argues. He claims what he showed me was real, but he just never explained the process of his powers to me. 

“If you stay with Youngjae, he will die” the man warns ominously. “I will protect him” I was stubborn and wouldn’t be threatened. “You are not enough for the type of enemies he has wanting to take him down” the man shuts me down without hesitation, his words leave me feeling plenty of fear

“Take Youngjae down?” I ask the man across the table from me. I explain that out of the two of us as a couple, Youngjae has no enemies. “Not ones he can see, but for the last decade there has been a plot” the more he spoke, the more I found myself feeling fear. The man was someone who a connection to the future, he must know and have seen something.

“The person behind all of this is stronger than any of the enemies that you have fought put together and then tripled” Kyungsoo’s face pales as he seems to think of this mysterious enemy. “He has more allies than any enemy you have faced. He is extremely cunning” he continues his chilling warning, there was a shadowy figure I was imagining in my head.

“For the last half a decade, I’ve had to pretty much hide in the shadows because of him” Kyungsoo claims he was once in leagues with this man, but he had tried to run away from him. Kyungsoo revealed that he had been away from wife and family in order to protect himself, and to protect family, keeping as a recluse out of the way of danger.

“What does this person want with you? With Youngjae?” there were so many questions floating in my head, but wait for the man to speak up. “As you know, that I am a fair” the man who on both occasions I had met him in the past had showed those strong fair powers.

“My strength comes with what happens in my brain, I can’t fight physically” Kyungsoo admits that it was his weakness. For many years the shadowy figure had used that against him, he forced Kyungsoo into his fucked up coven and to do his bidding.

“Who?” I ask the other man. “Im Chang Jung…” the man confesses watching me. That name is familiar to me, I knew it somehow. Then the face flashes across my face, I watch the man shocked. He was Jaebum’s older brother.

The legitimate child of the Ims, the one that Jaebum seemed to idolise. What did the elder man who as far as I knew, was simply a business have to do with this? Kyungsoo looking afraid and shaken explains that Im Chang Jung was more than just a business man, he’s the person who is behind everything. He has been pulling the strings behind everything.

“With his charm, wit and guile, he has put together an army of fighters and slaves” Kyungsoo gives further information. “He has a whole empire that spans the globe, his criminal organisation which you and your police friends have been trying and failing to take down” it appeared that Kyungsoo knew more about what I was doing as a cop than most. He brings up JB’s network.

Surprised I watch the smaller man, to know that Im Changjung is behind all of that? The man confesses that Jaebum had only been the figure head of that network, he met up with clients and did his brother’s bidding. The real crook and mastermind behind the business, was Im Chang Jung.

The fair describes Im Chang Jung as sociopathic drainer whose only goal in life was to be strong, and to use that strength to take down any enemy he wanted down.

“Then why Youngjae?” I interrupt the man, after all I didn’t see How is he even involved? If anyone was to be blamed for Jaebum’s death, wouldn’t it be me? His former lover whom he detested? Or the il proterri whom he had not only killed Jaebum but also his henchmen. Youngjae had simply been a victim, how could he have gained such a cruel enemy?

“Youngjae is the chosen one according to his father” ever since we had started speaking, his serious expression hadn’t changed. If this was another lie, then he was truly very committed. Surprised I watch the other man, I watch him confused the more he spoke, the more I found myself dropping down the rabbit hole of confusion.

“Im Chang Jung’s children could have had a peaceful life, but the man doesn’t care for their lives” Kyungsoo grimaces when talking about my former lover’s brother. “He wants for a dramatic end, and that could come sooner than possible” those words send chills down my spine.

“What is he going to do?” I ask the man desperate, I needed to stop this. “To kill his son” Kyungsoo answers gravely. How? Why? Who is his son?

“Choi Youngjae…” the man quietly answers. Shocked I watch him. The man quickly explains the long and complicated story of Youngjae’s parentage. Im Chang Jung’s relationship with Youngjae’s suppose biological mother, the fair Choi Woori. How the fair had followed the manipulative and strong drainer across the world and helped him build up his empire with her powers.

Kyungsoo explains that Choi Youngjae is the only person who can take down his father, and Im Chang Jung knows that. He had used me and my powers to find out that he was destined to be defeated by his child, that child being Youngjae. At first the man had been threatened, but now he took a sick and perverse pleasure from the concept of facing off with Youngjae.

“That’s why he has to get stronger, to be reach into himself and defeat that enemy” Kyungsoo explains that this was something was going to be thrust on Youngjae. Then why do I have to leave him? That question keeps floating around my head, the thought of leaving him hurt me a lot.

“You aren’t the person who can make him stronger” the man replies, but he was being so vague, that was always the irritating thing about him. So I was supposed to just what? Leave Youngjae? I need an explanation, what did he mean? If Youngjae was in trouble, then I could help him.

“You aren’t the person Youngjae will settle down with” Kyungsoo replies that flicker over guilt written all over his face again. I pause watching the other man, I wasn’t sure how to feel. “I think you’ve always known that, or at least time has given you that impression. Youngjae has always been destined to someone else?” my heart sinks at those words.

“It’s someone who would bring him joy in his world-“, irritated I confront the other man. Years previous the man had lead me this way, he had used his powers to lead me to believe that Youngjae was my future. Now he was here, he was claiming that Youngjae and I weren’t meant to be together?

“I’m sorry”, the man says, the look in his eyes seems so genuine. “What I did to your years ago, I changed your future and took away your true happy ending” the man looked like he was holding back a lot of conflicted feelings. It had to do with something about a true happy ending?

“Over the years, even though you’ve come to love and care for Youngjae, its always felt a bit lacking hasn’t it?” the man asks, but it seemed like he already knew the answer. “You were meant to be with someone else, but to get the upper hand Chang Jung made me change your future” the fair confesses leaving me confused again. How? Why?

The man reveals that the visions that he had showed me over a decade ago, those were distorted visions. It only showed me one of my supposed paths. He goes on to explain that in everyone’s lives, there are paths that can be taken towards the future. Most of us have more than one path to choose from and depending on which path you take, it affects the future accordingly. Still I didn’t know what that had to do with me

“I only ever showed you one of your paths, the paths that lead to Choi Youngjae” the man confesses. I heard what he was saying, and I felt like what he was saying made sense, but it was still leaving me confused. I had only ever lived one life, I had ended up with Youngjae and lived a life that I was content with. It turned out that way and now the other man was claiming that that wasn’t the life I was supposed to have. After all these years?

“Youngjae is in danger and so are you” the man warns. Me? “You have an enemy who will return, you took away something important from them and now they want to take away what’s important to you” the warning leaves my mouth dry. There were so many people who I could have racked up as enemies, in the il proterri and as a cop.

When I ask who it was, Kyungsoo reveals that it was Anastacia. The woman was dead, or at least that’s what I had thought. Kyungsoo explains that an exorcism doesn’t kill a person; it just makes their journey back into this world so much harder.

“It’s supposed to be a purgatory that cleanses the soul, but this did nothing but strengthen her anger” Kyungsoo looked concerned. After the death of her trusted companion, Anastacia would come back. “Her best revenge is to kill the one you love the most” words that chill me to the bone.

The man reaches for my arm, and again the tingles pass through me and suddenly my body freezes. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak, or hear, all I could do was see. The surroundings were so much duller, and grey and I looked to be in the cemetery located near the local church.

What stuns me is the fact that I was looking at the grave stone ahead of me, the written on it was one that was very familiar to me. It was the name of the love that I cared so much about. My heart starts beating out its chest until it feels tight, I lose breath and suddenly I feel myself pulled away from the scene of it all.

“How do I know to trust you?” once again I couldn’t help but be suspicious. “You don’t” the man confesses that he had expecting this kind of reaction. “I’ll show you the other path” the man reaches for my hand once again locking me into place. I was taking to another place, it was warm and happy. I was happy, my heart was fluttering so wildly.

Straddling the lap of a man, and there I was in this passionate clinch with a man. It wasn’t Youngjae, and it wasn’t someone that I had been with before. There I was, with a man that I recognised, it was a face that I had seen in pictured before. I had seen this man from Dowoon’s pictures, he was the best friend that I had never met.

In my vision, here I was, on the man’s lap hooked up in a hot clinch. The man’s smile, it sends my heart racing out of control. I felt the happy fluttering that I had never expected before, this was much stronger than anything that I had ever felt before.

Within seconds the man pulls me away from the vision; it leaves me of feeling shaken. I was back in front of Kyungsoo and I could feel the strongest tingles down my spine. What the hell was that? “That was the future that got stolen from you” the man replies, he watches me his eyes that looked completely serious. Was he telling the truth? 

-52 years old.

 

Eyebrows knitted, the cuter young man’s eyes were zoned in on the collarbones. The man was fiddling with my tie, trying to get the knot perfect. He was desperate to make sure that everything was done perfectly, the younger was tense and on edge. The younger was amusingly nervous, the normally stone cold and bossy younger was desperate to make a good impression. Not for himself, but for me.

Today was unlike other days, normally our days were very quiet and relaxed. The man was working hard as the CEO of his family’s confectionary’s company, the young man worked hard to get his company popular outside of the country. He was working so well and he had managed to get a foot hold in China and Japan.

Despite such a busy job, the man always seemed to make enough time to spend time with me. The younger man had always ensured that we remained closed and spent time together. I knew that the younger worked hard to ensure that we had a long and strong relationship.

Admittedly the path that we had wasn’t quite so smooth, the younger had worked so hard to win me back. From coming to Mokpo and working with Do Kyungsoo to bringing me back. The man had plotted to bring me to Busan with me, he had been only too happy to help Kyungsoo come to me under is radar. With his security and his resources, he had managed to transport the fair past borders to meet with me.

Dowoon had engineered it so that the other man and I could meet. And although it was true what Kyungsoo had shown me, and the truth was that I wasn’t meant to be with Youngjae. It was still hard to accept, and Dowoon’s initial eagerness to reunite with me definitely irritated the shit out of me. In fact, I very cruelly and coldly ignored the man for a good part of a year, bitter in the believe that he had been part of ending my relationship.

Of course he wasn’t to blame, the circumstance had been. I had to break up with Youngjae, I had to give him up to the person he needed to be with. The younger had a path that he was meant to be on, but it didn’t mean that it was easy breaking up with him and I certainly wouldn’t be breaking up with Youngjae and getting with Dowoon.

Not when my future didn’t even show him as the person that I would end up with. I had been so determined to stay this way, but the younger man was so determined, his sincere attempts to win me back eventually worked. I was charmed by the man who was now more solid, he was certainly more strong and sure than the young man over a decade ago.

Despite that and the six years that we had lived together comfortably, the man seemed a little shaken and nervous today. I could understand why of course, because despite how little he tried to care about his parent’s opinion’s the younger was still very aware and desperate for their approval.

So after years of declining and putting it off, the younger had managed to twist my arm and convince me to meet his parents. It would be our first meeting; it was something important to Dowoon. So I had taken off early from work, gotten myself a flashy suit, got a shaped up hairstyle the way the younger liked it and had made sure to look presentable.

Dowoon the high strung younger approves of everything but my tie, in a last minute panic the man was fixing my tie as we rode on the way to the hotel to meet his parents. He wanted everything to go perfectly, if he got the approval from his parents about his relationship then, I suspected he would have no other things he would worry about in life.

Knowing this, I try to be very patient that evening with him. I especially have to exercise quite a lot of patience with the two elders, as we arrive my greeting isn’t just to his glamourous older mother or his calm and approachable looking father. No, there with us was an old flame of the younger, who had very inappropriately been invited by the elders.

Lee Seokmin was an on and off flame for Dowoon, before we had gotten back together and I knew about their past. Dowoon had ended things with the other man in favour of being with me. However, from what I had seen, the Yoons preferred the younger man, he was a tall good looking, sharp and smartly dressed man. The ideal son-in-law candidate.

The finance director was close to Dowoon’s parents, working under his father. Seokmin had cultivated a relationship and bond with Dowoon’s mother as well. He had laid down all the ground work, whilst I had done everything in my power to distance myself from the parents.

Seokmin was smart, charming and good looking a far better match for Dowoon than I. The other man was determined to win over Dowoon, he had been chasing the man all this time despite my relationship with Dowoon’s relationship with me.

In spite of this, Dowoon was more determined to be with me. He had put so much effort into his relationship with me, and it seemed that his parents were ultra-aware of that and very concerned. Despite us having another guest at the table, the elders don’t hold back on their questioning me.

What are your intentions with our son? Where did I see us ending up in the future? Did I expect to live comfortably off of their son’s income. What plans did I have for my career? The pair power through with the necessary questions despite their mortified son’s disapproval. They wanted to know if I was committed to their son and I could be a genuinely stable partner.

The older pair knew that I was a drainer, so they question how that would that affect my relationship with their son. I could relapse, I could end bringing danger to Dowoon’s doorstep. child. Dowoon tries to interrupt and protest this, but his parents ignore his pleas. In the background I can see Seokmin sat trying to suppress the pleased smirk he had, he was definitely enjoying watching me get grilled.

Nevertheless, I try to answer the questions as genuinely and politely as possible. I could see that they weren’t completely satisfied, but there was nothing more I could do for them short of breaking up with Dowoon. I knew that if I broke up with Dowoon it would satisfy his parents, but it would certainly hurt the younger’s feelings and I didn’t want that.

For a brief time, there is awkward and tense silence settles over the table, we sit to eat and I can feel the concerned look from Dowoon. He was hyper sensitive, and I was trying my best to give him reassuring glances. I was doing my best for him, but I doubted my best would get him the results that he wanted to get. He wanted his parents to really like me.

After over an hour spent in the meeting/ interview, I receive a phone call that pulls me away from table. It was from an old friend and ally, he was giving me the call that I had been waiting for so long. Seo Inguk, the elder who had always been so supportive and helpful of me. The man who had lead me from the bloody life of the il proterri into the calm and helpful life of the priesthood, I had been so fortunate.

“Come to Seoul” the man calm as ever, smoothly as ever tells me it was time for me to return to Seoul. I tell the man that I was going to go and join him, I had been waiting to hear from the man who I worked with all those years ago to exorcize Anastacia. He had been in charge of locating the powerful drainer and it seemed like now he had found her, I had no time to waste, I had to get there as soon as possible.

“You said you wanted to kill your foe, then all I can do is protect you” the powerful man could only use his powers for good deeds, therefore killing someone was definitely out of his realm. But the man was there to support me, to defend me and heal me if worse comes to worse, and so I had some confidence that I wouldn’t be going in this alone.

As I end the conversation with Inguk, I notice in the corner of my eye waiting for me was my worried looking younger boyfriend. Dowoon stands watching me closely, the man checks up on me. He seemed to think that I had taken what his parents to heart, and not that I was being called from work. The boy’s face straightens out into a frown when I tell him that I would have to head out and go to work.

“Stay, you need to leave a good impression” the boy expresses the importance for me to stay but I tell him that I have to go. “You don’t have to go, get one of your colleagues to do it” the younger had that sad and desperate look on his face, I feel myself sway a little for him.

“This is something that I have to do” I try to convince the man. “To stay in my life you need to make a good impression” the younger boy impatiently and immaturely interrupts. “You need to stay hyung, and just push through this, to show them you can be by my side” the younger pleads. . “Your parents don’t have a good impression of me, they don’t like me” I argue a little exasperated, I really just wanted to work.

“You can change that” the man tugs at me to stay, but I tell the man that we would do it at another time. Honestly I was in no rush, but right now I have someone to take care of and people to take care of. “Fine”, he says his lips in a straight line. “I’ll go with you. I’m going to Seoul” Dowoon had that look in his eyes, that fear at the prospect of me leaving.

Still, I reassure the younger that I would be only gone for a few days there. It was very important and it is something that I need to take care of. “With Wang Jackson?” he was jealous, he never liked it when I went to Seoul and spent time with Jackson, especially as he was still friends with Youngjae.

The man had tried his best to try and erase Youngjae from my past. He was still conscious about the fact that Youngjae and had I had shared such a special relationship, and I think he was worried about losing me to such nostalgic feelings. I tried my best to always quell those feelings.

“Is this really for work?” the younger worriedly asks me. “Don’t you trust me?” I ask the other man. “No, it’s you that doesn’t trust me either “the younger sulks unreasonably. There is an old enemy I need to take down, before they kill others. I try to reassure him that I have so much that I need to take care of and being held up like this was a little frustrating.

“You’re putting your life at risk!!”, the younger agitatedly protests. “My life was always at risk” I reassure the man to stay with me and to trust me. “I’ll come back to you”, stroking through the man’s hair and kissing her on his forehead. It was what I always had to do to calm down the younger, he seems to reluctantly accepts me for it.

After excusing me, I rush over to Seoul taking the latest train heading tow the big city. The journey is full of nerves for me, my stomach was bubbling, I was full of nothing but concern and worry. I really needed to work quickly and this time I needed to be thorough, I had called all the people that I needed to call and had arranged a full on attack.

When I get to Seoul, despite the early hour the person who is there to pick me up is none other than Wang Jackson and Wang Fei Fei. The couple warmly greet me and soon take me to their home, the one they shared as a married couple and parents to an adorable child. It was still a jarring picture in comparison to their relationship a decade earlier, they had gone from enemies to lovers who shared a precious child.

Jackson would be involved in the sting to catch and kill Anastasia, and despite my insistence that he not put himself in danger, the man was determined to back me up. Fei was also supporting him, she never felt like she could tame the younger man. So she supported him, and took care of his precious child to make sure he was on his game.

There isn't much time for me to settle down, before Seo Inguk informs me that he had tracked Anastacia down. Jackson heads off to do his part of the plan, meanwhile I head to hotel and meet up with Inguk hyung. Heading to the bar downstairs, we have some drinks and have a catch up. Youngjae was in Paris travelling, he seemed to doing really well.

“The last time I saw him, he looked like he was over it” the priest over the time had met with Youngjae and become friends with him. “I mentioned your name and he didn’t seem as in pain as he used to be, I think he might be with someone?”, the man didn't really lack tact, but it just seemed like he was trying to provoke a reaction from me.

In Guk with his cheeky little grin, asks if I knew that Youngjae was dating. I tell him that I didn’t don’t know. “But it’s a relief right? You didn’t want Youngjae yearning for you” a smirk spreads across his face, for a man of God, he sure did love to be messy about situations. Still I tell him that it was good, I was relieved and if Youngjae was happy then so was I.

The way that I had ended things was terribly, and I knew I had hurt the younger with it. I had been so scared with the prospect of meeting up with him and breaking up face to face, so with the help of an eager Dowoon, I ran from the home we shared, man leaving Youngjae a cowardly letter.

Once the other is done in baiting me, we settle down into talking about how he had tracked down Anastacia. He claims that his powers had lead him to Japan, as a defense the man could expel anyone to the world of purgatory. Now unlike he good books states purgatory is not a place in which you cleanse your soul to go to heaven, instead it works as a protective area that keeps a person’s spirit and body held for a certain amount of time for the safety of others.

Those powers had a limit to them, and so eventually the exorcized party returned to reality. Most of the time those people were given time to think and change their ways, but other times it didn’t work out as nicely. Part of his powers meant that he could try and track down the person he excorcised but that depended on how close the person was to him in distance. For many years the man couldn’t sense Anastacia or Paulo in Korea, although he felt a faint presence he could never feel their spirits which he was connected to. That was until not long ago, when he was in Japan on church business when he felt their strong presence.

While he was there he met with a familiar person. It was Ahn Hani the prostitute who had formerly worked for JB and his thugs. The woman seemed to be doing well with her husband and child, the woman who was now a drainer was living a comfortable and quiet life.

Again she seems to be the only one to help our allied team out, together they went around Tokyo in search of the strong drainers. In Guk claims he lost their spiritual connection at some point and assumed that they had maybe travelled outside of the country, leaving their bond weak.

It wasn’t until yesterday that the man felt that bond and connection and that with the help of Jackson and wife Fei they tracked down the elderly drainers It took a while but they had tracked Anastacia to this hotel, the Great London Hotel. The woman was staying there under her own name, but it appeared that Paulo was nowhere to be seen’

The allied group that we had put together would have trouble on their own against our enemy. From what Inguk, Jackson and Fei had seen yesterday, the woman was not alone. She was a very confident and charismatic woman; she knew how to get people to follow her.

We had to be prepared for not tens of people, but probably hundreds of followers who would die for her. So we would come out with all the best fighters that we had, and even though the cops would try and get her out alive and to question her about her link with the JB network. I knew she wouldn’t give in; she wasn’t the type. I knew in the end that I would have to fight and take out their enemy with brute force.

So after some waiting, we finally see Anastacia approaching us. The woman was confident and wasn’t sneaking around, and neither were we. The woman was dressed in a lovely ball gown, a powder pink that pops on her milky white skin. Her blonde hair up from her face in a bun. The woman still looked as youthful as she had before in the past,

“Oh, did you come for me?” the woman confidently greets. Behind her were a large group of drainers all suited and booted up, they didn’t stand out in the upscale bar. Although they did look quite tough, In Guk and I were far outnumbered, and if we weren’t careful, it would be the end of us before we even began. So I knew I had to be careful what I had to do and say, the woman had such a short temper so I had to be very careful.

The older woman sits across right on Inguk’s lap, the woman flirts with the other man. She was so charming, so much so that I can see him being briefly distracted by the beautiful woman. So I decide to sit and watch on, I would make sure to be ready and fight if needed.

“You don’t seem so shocked to see that I’m back, were you expecting it?” the woman rubs her rear down on Inguk’s groin. The other man lets out a soft groan, his face reddens and amuses much to the elder’s amusement. “He’s cute, it’s a shame he’s probably going to die today” the woman casually delivers her chilling threat. The look in her eyes it was cold and detached, but her smile is sparkly and bright.

“It’s fortunate that you’re still alive, I had always wanted to kill you with my own hands” the woman reaches over to my glass in front of me. She takes a sip of the alcoholic beverage; she slowly sips her cold eyes searing me. This was a face off, and I knew what was going to happen. I knew there was going to be some trouble soon.

“Do you know what it’s like to be dead and alive at the same time?” Anastacia complains about how her exorcism bound her and Paulo inside their bodies across the world in a coma. She looks upset and traumatised when she thinks about it, she breaks down revealing that Paulo had died.

My heart drops at the news, the man had sacrificed himself to protect people from Anastacia and for him to have died, it made my heart feel heavy. Anastacia reveals that in a Berlin hospital, the man had been killed by some a mentally ill nurse who had suffocated him. He hadn’t deserved that kind of death; he didn’t deserve to die at all.

“You did this to me, you are the reason an innocent man died!!” the woman yells, throwing the large cup towards me. As quickly as I can, I duck and dodge away from this getting out of my seat and getting to my feet. The woman pushes off from Inguk and lunging to me, fists ready to fight and to take me out. The woman yells angry and upset abuse at me.

“So you’re not going to take responsibility?” I confront the woman. “You lost your way, you became a monster” I duck and dodge her attacks although some of the blows hit. Falling to the floor, but I continue to fight. I notice the bar starts to quieten down, but no one was stepping up to fight me back.

“Paulo died trying to stop you, he saw the evil inside of you and sacrificed himself to take you down” I shout this to her, but I could tell that she was getting more and more agitated. “You took away my everything, so I’ll take away yours!” the woman kicks me down to my knees before punching my face. I spot in the background Inguk was stood aback looking shocked, but I knew he was doing the right thing, he wasn’t a fighter and he didn’t need to be involved. He stands by the side line, looking a little guilty about watching me essentially getting beaten up.

“Your boyfriend, the Mokpo boy…” shivers travel down my spine, I realise that I was being watched on. “The one you went away from to protect, I will kill him” as soon as I hear those words, and that threat I get up to my feet and really start fighting. I start hitting her with harder blows, and seeming to notice the change of circumstances, her back up drainers finally join in.

Held back by her drainers, I struggle and fight especially as the woman threatens to rip Youngjae from the world. I take down any drainers that I can, and get bloodied and beaten up. I feel sharp poking and hard blows; I knew I wasn’t just getting hit by punches and kicks. The woman wanted me to feel pain before she ended my life, she was sadistic.

Sensing more danger, as I dodge and duck blows. I signal to Inguk to be on the ready, before lunging at Anastacia. Pulling from my sleeve, I stab the in the arm. Falling back, the woman’s eyes are wide open and in shock. The woman had been so cocky, I had let her I get distracted by her anger. Clouded over by her fury, she hadn’t seen me prepare my TRNQ stick.

Without waiting, I leap down at the woman and snap her head right off of her shoulders finally killing her. I knew it would be against what Jackson and the police force wanted of me, they wanted Anastacia to get intel. But I knew that she would end up worming her way from their custody. The woman had done it so many time before, slipping from police custody in our days as drainers together.

There was no way I could let her leave their custody, I feared too much for the lives of those I cared about. She had shown that she wasn’t willing to change her ways, she had shown her threat and I was doing this out of defense. I had to protect the people I cared about the most, and if it meant we would have find Im Chang Jung using other methods, then we would just have to do that. I wouldn’t be risking Youngjae’s life any further.

Unlike last time, this was so quick and final. I had killed the woman, and eliminated a long time threat. As I pull away from her. I have defended myself from the attacks of other drainers long enough to fight the rest of her of her crew. The fighting goes on for a few minutes, before finally the room is flooded by police officers, we are surrounded by officers who quickly apprehend the dangerous drainers.

Inguk looked to be relieved that everything had ended, he watches me knowingly. He knew why I had killed the woman, he knew I had been planning to do so before the police would turn up, and he knew the kind of story he would be backing me up on. He had seen me get confronted by the woman, and continuously getting attacked. He saw the risk to my life, and that I had no choice but to kill the woman he was my alibi.

Later on that night once at Jackson and Fei’s home. There is a brief tension between Jackson and I. The man was pissed, after all I had gone behind his back and gone against the plan. He had worked so hard to make sure he could bring Anastacia alive, to get her connections to JB and to get more information, he was irate and I understood why. But I didn’t regret my actions, so all I can do is let him cool down for now.

The next day Jackson does seem to calm down. I do approach the man and tell him that I am ready to end off home, the man approaches me after a little nudging from his with. Jackson wraps his arms around my shoulder pulling me into a tight hug, the man seemed to calm and in a better mood.

No matter how many times we argue, the pair of us always seemed able to make up for each other. “Thanks to you jerk there will be a lot of paper work from the drainer council. And guess who has to do it” the man jokes while squeezing my shoulder. “I’m sorry” I apologise after being so stubborn, making his life difficult wasn’t something I wanted to do.

“I know why you did it” the man understood thankfully. “I am glad you did it too” the man confesses that there are some things he can’t do as a police officer, he had procedures to follow. But if it meant that Youngjae was kept safe, he’s relieved that I had been the one to ensure that.

“Now you’ve taken care of that. Are you going to return to Youngjae?” the man asks as he pulls way. The look in his eyes, he looked hopeful. The man had always been saddened by the fact that Youngjae and I had broken up. He had seen the beginning of our relationship through all the way to the end. He thought that Youngjae and I were meant to be.

To get his help, I had told him Anastacia and her threat. But never had I revealed the truth about the other path that Kyungsoo had shown me. It was a path that I had chosen, but it had come with some difficulty. In waiting for the person who I was destined to be with, I had gotten back and entangled with my ex. Yoon Dowoon.

There were no plans on my part to get back together with Youngjae. His life has changed too much I didn’t want to disrupt his life again. “I’m selfish…” I confess thinking about my actual goal, why I wasn’t returning to Youngjae anymore. “Selfish?” Jackson asks very obviously confused. “I have to wait for him” I let Jackson in on just bit of the truth.

“Wait… for who?” Jackson questions but I don’t speak. I felt like if I went back to Youngjae, I would be back on the wrong pathway, so I decide that I would stay in Busan, hoping to run into the person who was my future. “We have to protect the ones we love”, sensing that I wasn’t going to elaborate on my last statement, he moves on the conversation.

My future felt a little uncertain, I felt like it wouldn’t settle down for a while. The calm life that I established with Dowoon is no more, there wasn’t much time left before things exploded. I was nervous.  
•58 years old.

He must have known, in advance as we made our way to the restaurant. The younger had been so determined to invite me to this dinner with Younghyun, I had honestly taken it as an innocent request. I had taken off time to meet his friend and his brand new boyfriend who Dowoon claims he knew nothing about. He claimed that Younghyun was being mysterious.

When I was stood across from him, after six years I could still see the hurt and pain that I had left with him. The man looked shocked at first, almost as if he had been seeing things, he understandably would be feeling that way seeing as I hadn’t been in contact with him in so many years. Apart from my weak and mysterious letter, as well as Jackson’s call to Youngjae where I had left that lie and excuse through the police officer.

There had been no contact. I had not reached out to Youngjae because at first I thought I would relapse and run back to the younger. That couldn’t happen, I needed to stay away from Youngjae. I knew that I had to let him go through the motions. To feel hurt and upset, and in denial, then accept our breakup. I wanted him to realise that he could do without me, and that in the end that I wasn’t the one. He needed to be with the one, I had always thought that he would end up with Yien.

Surprisingly though it appeared that after all these years, the younger seemed not to have made that move. The pair had such a strong bond, a relationship was far from platonic, it was a deep and intense love. Throughout my relationship with Youngjae, I had struggled to shake the doubts that I had during our relationship, I had hoped one day to become more important than Yien. However, I failed to overtake the foreign man, his bond with Youngjae was unbreakable.

Years later after running away from Youngjae and that little complicated love triangle, I hadn’t expected to see Youngjae in a long time. It worried me that we were seeing each other so soon. Was Youngjae stronger? Had he found about his family history? About his destiny and the fight for his life that he was bound to put in?

Was the fact that he was here with Kang Younghyun, did that mean he wasn’t yet with Yien who was to make him stronger? Or had he taken the wrong path? Like Kyungsoo had said, life was all about taking the right paths. Had Youngjae continued to push his best friend away and taken the much easier path with the affable and kind recently divorced father.

Seeming unable to deal with the situation, Youngjae is the first to rush off much to his boyfriend’s surprise. Younghyun is quick to catch on, the man asks questions, mostly to me he seemed to sense that Youngjae and I knew each other. The man is shocked when he hears that Youngjae and I had dated, and despite Dowoon’s attempts to down play that relationship. I’m open and honest about how badly I had hurt Youngjae and how I was at fault about it. There was no way I could lie to him, I struggled.

Despite Younghyun’s obvious look of disappointment, I am relieved that I told him the truth. I had to do right by him, and whatever he wanted I needed to do. So if he wanted me to tell him the truth, then I would. That’s something that seems to irritate Dowoon, the man tries to hold in his feelings as we leave the hotel.

The man takes us both home and orders us something to eat. There is a painful silence between the two of us. The younger never liked me talking about my relationship with Youngjae, he was very conscious about the deep feelings that I had for Youngjae. He was jealous and self-conscious; I knew he was worried about losing me. And sadly I knew he had reason to feel that way, but it wouldn’t be because of Youngjae.

Early in the next morning, Dowoon is the first to leave. I wasn’t sure if he was running away scared or if he truly had to rush off. There was a conversation that needed to be had and I could sense that it was leading to an end of something.

When I get to work, I meet up with a superior of mine. I had been working in the “” precinct for nearly five years. I had made my way up the chain of command, but even still I had a boss that I needed to report to. Kim Moonkyu was a very calm and relaxed leader of the precinct, he was well liked and very trusted. The man kept his team of cops in line, there was a good team work, because everyone trusted each other and worked well.

The man had called me into work to express his desire to transfer me to Mokpo. Almost as if it were destiny, it was as if a high power had set events in motion to force me back to the town that I had left behind six years ago. According the Moonkyu, the transfer had been a request from an old colleague in Mokpo who had claimed they needed my help.

More than just the rise in attacks in Mokpo, the superior reveals that there was a group of powerful and dangerous drainers congregating in Mokpo. One being Goo Junhoe who he was a figure head for the organisation, but there was the real tyrant who they were looking for. According to sources he was linked to the infamous JB of Seoul.

Realising that this was connected to what Kyungsoo had told me would happen. I think of the severity of all of this, Im Chang Jung was definitely linked to the trouble that was happening in Mokpo and I knew it had to be linked to Youngjae. This would be the beginning of the fight between father and son and I knew I had to be there, to support Youngjae through it all. 

So when Moonkyu tells me about my transfer, I do agree to it. After all, there were more attacks in Mokpo. It seemed unsafe, I was worried, not just for Youngjae, but his family and his friends, friends that had once been ours. Kyungsoo, told me to be patient and wait, not to search him out or I risk his life. I knew to trust his word, but I think now was the time to leave.

Later that evening when I get home to the home that I shared with Dowoon, I prepare all my clothes and belongings packing them up. I knew I had to stay and wait for Dowoon, to talk to him and explain why I was leaving. I wouldn’t do what I did with Youngjae, I wouldn’t be cowardly and run away.

The younger arrives early in the evening, and when he does he greets me a little meekly. He is the first to apologise, he admits that he had known about Youngjae and Younghyun for a while. He knew that Younghyun wanted to introduce his boyfriend to him and he invited me along, because he wanted me to see that Youngjae had moved on. He admits he wanted Youngjae to see that I had moved on, so that the mystery that had lingered would end.

“I’m going back to Mokpo” I interrupt the younger, I knew that he was upset and wanted to apologise and patch things up with me. But I had to do this, I couldn’t let things keep dragging on. The longer I stayed with Dowoon, the longer that I lived this lie. The younger deserved my honesty

“Hyung, I’m sorry I know I misbehaved…” my heart pangs with guilt. He wasn’t the one who was at fault, it was me. “Hyung don’t leave me” desperately the man wraps his arms around my waist. “Please, even if you don’t feel the way that I want just yet, then I will wait for you” the younger’s baritone voice softens as he pleas for me to stay.

“I love you”. the younger confesses before trying to lean and kiss me. I do pull away, I have to. I couldn’t keep leading him on. The next half an hour is probably one of the toughest things I have ever done, I have never really broken up with anyone so it seems all my times dodging and ducking this made me very inexperienced.

As Dowoon goes from pleading, to get angry. The younger lashes out, he had dedicated himself and loved me and showed me nothing but the best of himself, and for the relationship to end just because my ex was back. He complains and as he does, I get the impression he had met with Youngjae. He had tried to protect our relationship and although it partially irritates me that he was lashing at Youngjae, I still can’t get distracted.

That night I start off for Mokpo, reporting to my former colleague Park Soonyoung, the woman had climbed up the ranks. She had been the person who had requested for my return, she needed me to head up the task force that would be taking down Im Chang Jung and his network.

The woman was excited to hear of my return, she had put together a team for me and I would be meeting them as early as tomorrow with my start. So for now, I prepare myself mentally for the rest of the days ahead. There was so much work I was going to have to do, there were so many relationships I was going to have to repair and apologies to make.

When I get to Mokpo, I return to old apartment. It’s newly free and would be free for the foreseeable future. I was familiar with the landlord, enough that as I sign for the keys I try to get a little information from him. I assume that seeing as Youngjae didn’t live in our formerly shared apartment, that he had moved elsewhere. So I ask if the woman knew where Youngjae had moved.

“Not a clue” the woman says with a narrowing of her eyes. She was definitely suspicious of me. “He left soon after you did too” I get the feeling that the woman did know, but she must sympathise with Youngjae, after I had suddenly just left. “I heard he’s a teacher now at some fancy school” the woman says before heading off out.

That night, I head to Happy café, it was a long shot but I could ask the owner of the café where Youngjae was. Changkyun had been a friend of mine, he had been very welcoming and open to me when I had first moved to Mokpo. Changkyun was like a brother to Youngjae, the café was pretty empty as it was a little late in the evening.

When the man spots my face, there is a brief look of surprise that settles down into a deep frown. I politely greet him, and his is just about civil greeting me with a hello. He had heard about Youngjae and I seeing each other in Busan, but he didn’t expect to see me. He looked a little bothered by the fact that I was there, maybe he thought I was back for Youngjae.

His suspicion probably isn’t helped when I ask if he knew where Youngjae lived. “I don’t want to tell you; you broke his heart why would i?” the wolf says straightforwardly but there was still a coldness to it. “Youngjae is in a good place, don’t fuck it up for him” the man warns. As he does, his expression changes to surprise, looks behind me.

Following his gaze I spot Youngjae entering the café. The younger looks surprised to see me again, but like Changkyun his face settles into a frown. He turns to the counter ignoring me; he gets his order from behind the counter before turn to leave wordlessly.

Rushing after the younger, I follow him out of the cafe. I wanted to talk to the younger, but unsurprisingly he’s not cooperative. The younger rushes off and I realise that I would have to work a lot harder than this to get to speak to the him, I would have to be patiently. That would be theme of my time here, patience was going to be key.

The next morning, I head to the police station, once I am done with my greeting my team, I have a short catch up session with former junior and now senior in the precinct Park Soonyoung. The woman had grown up so well in the time we had spent apart from each other, she held a higher position up the ladder through nepotism and a lot of hard work.

“Do well sunbae” the woman still held a lot of respect for me. Even though she was in a high position that I was in, she still treated me as the sunbae that trained her up. She asks for me to use all the information that I knew to take down our greatest enemy. She assures me that I would have help me in anyway, and she would support me in getting me what I needed.

As I leave the building, I bump into Younghyun. The lawyer was there for a case, he looked surprised to see me. Had Youngjae not told him that I was back? He doesn’t look too pleased to see me, but I was definitely happy to see him. My heart gently thumping in my chest just at the sight of him.

Kang Younghyun was a close friend of Dowoon since they were younger, the man had always been friendly supported our relationship. It seemed that to him, as long as his friend was happy then so would he be. The man had a history with Dowoon that I knew about, but according to Dowoon it was a friends with benefits situation and since he had gotten married they had never gone there.

Recently Younghyun had divorced his wife of fifteen years and from what I knew it, it was all pretty amicable. Now the pair were doing their best to raise their child, and were now dating other people. Younghyun had apparently after many years of hooking up and sleeping around found someone, and Dowoon the protective younger wanted to vet who his cherished friend was with.

The last time I had seen the man was the day before yesterday and he hadn’t looked pleased to realise that I was his boyfriend’s big bad ex. “Dowoon deserves better than someone like you” the man doesn’t bother hiding his disapproving. I nod my head, I agreed with his sentiment. I don’t have too many hurt feelings, instead I stay focused on him.

“At least you didn’t keep leading him on” the man adds, making me feel some relief. If the man didn’t think the worst of me then somehow I felt like things would be a bit easier for me. That’s part of what gets me through in weeks after my arrival back in Mokpo, the concept of being near Younghyun.

Weeks pass, when I do get to finally talk to Youngjae. I bump into the younger, and no longer playing patient with him. I force the younger to a playground near the café. I apologise to the younger, and explain to him why I had left him. Explaining my warning from Kyungsoo and the threat of Anastacia, I keep out some other things, but the younger listens well.

Youngjae still held some hurt feelings, he was frustrated and irritates. He lets it all out, I knew I had fucked up and wouldn’t be trusted easily, but e seems to forgive. The man was still a bit suspicious of me, especially when I give Younghyun, understandably the man would be a bit taken aback when I compliment his current boyfriend.

Little did the younger know that me bringing up Younghyun was less about him, and more about the man he was with, the man that I liked. Things would be complicated on that end of things, but when Youngjae heads away. He gets a call from none other than Tuan Yien, the two still remained close.

The younger had returned from London and it seemed that he was back to win Youngjae’s heart. I had overheard this around town, as sly as the pair seemed to think that they are. Most people knew that there was something ongoing between Yien and Youngjae, just like I had been I was sure that Younghyun was in a state of denial.

Later that day I head over to private detective Shin Hoseok, if anyone could help me locating where the drainer council was now meeting he would be the one. The drainer council was remaining quite elusive, it had it’s public offices which dealt with the drainer business, however there were higher ups in the rung, Im Chang Jung, Goo Junhoe and others who we needed to locate, there was no use waiting for them to move.

Hoseok as a wolf and an investigator wouldn’t would know where to look. “You’re back!” the man exclaims. It was the first time we had seen in each in some years. “For work or pleasure?” the younger asks with his trademark charming and flirting laugh.

“Can’t it be both?” I counter much to the man’s amusement. “Ah how fun! I was starting to get bored of domesticated Choi Youngjae” the man settles down in his seat looking over the notes I had handed to him about the case. As he peruses he still manages to chat and make jokes. “He’s got the cop, the lawyer and meddling bestie back after him again. What a time to be alive” the man jokes.

“Who said I was back for Choi Youngjae?” I couldn’t help but tease. “You’re telling me you truly came back for work?” the man asks with an air of scepticism. I tell him that it was partly, but there was something else. “Oh so it’s not Youngjae, but someone else?” as usual the man was very perceptive. “Why are you so determined to think I’m here for someone?” I try to throw the man off of the scent.

“Cause sweet peach, I read people very well” it was true, but how well could this man read me? The man gasps suddenly eyes widening before he bursts into laugh. “Oh wow. You homos really do keep me entertained” the man says so knowingly but does he really know or was he just playing? I try to ignore the man and focus on work instead.

Later that day, I head over to Younghyun’s house. The man had been avoiding me recently, although sometimes I did end up bumping into him at the court houses and when we did meet the electricity between the two of us. We had veered off a path that had been set for us, a reality where we could have been together.

The reality was that we had veered from and for god knows how many years, we lived separate lives. So now that we were near each other, I could feel it in the air. There was a fate between the two of us, I couldn’t help but feel different while around him. The closer I was to him, the deeper my feelings and attraction towards him. So as weeks pass, I am definitely there as quickly as I can to save the man when he is kidnapped.

Fortunately, nothing too bad occurs, the man gets a few scratches from the events and he seemed shaken. I could tell that he just needed someone with him, he needed some comforting. But it seemed that Youngjae was distracted by other things, his relationship with Yien was already going in murky waters, I had walked in on the two in a steamy make out session. Whilst his childhood friend and supposedly the mother of his child was in town, he already had so much on his plate.

That night he had come face to face with Jia and it had been revealed that he had a mysterious enemy coming for him. There was so much he had to think of, and so while he headed out to go and talk to Changkyun and discuss what they were to do. Youngjae leaves him with Younghyun, the younger asks for me to stay and look after the other man.

The temptation was too much, being in the same place as the man. I go to check on the man, he had been through so much. He was supposed to sleep, so I go to check up on him. When I step into the room, I find that the man whose eyes were still closed, his breathing seemed normal. Looking at him, he looked quite cute and sweet, his cut features disappears in place of a softer image from him.

Looking down at him, my heart thumps at the beautiful man, after so many weeks around the man, I had grown accustomed to seeing the man. Those feelings had snowballed into a genuine lust and fondness, I wanted so much to spend time with him. Even if it’s like this, I wasn’t asking for so much.

Feeling enough satisfaction, I turn to make my way out but as I do, the man reaches for my wrist and stops me in my tracks. “Why are you here?” I tell the man I was checking on him, that Youngjae had told me to stay with him. The man looks disappointed and a little irritable.

“Do you want to take Youngjae away from me?” the man accuses disapprovingly. “You must know that your biggest threat isn’t me” I try to assure the man; I take a seat next to him. “So you’re really just here for work?” the man looks up at me with suspicion.

Sitting up the man pulls away a little, his eyebrow is raised and he keeps his eyes focused on me. “Are you seeing someone?” the man asks, there is an air of suspicion. “I see you…” I counter unable to resist the urge to flirt with him. The man looks a little taken aback, but there is a shift, he seemed like he was affected or unnerved.

“Your jokes aren’t funny” the man disapproves. “Who says it’s a joke?” I reply earnestly. “Dowoon really cares about you, he put so much effort to love you and you leave him like that?” what he had been back, Younghyun finally confronts me for hurting his friend’s feelings. I tell the man that I couldn’t stay, not anymore.

“You couldn’t try?” Younghyun questions. “You shouldn’t have to try with love” I tell the man watching him closely, my heart lightly thumping. “Let me guess, with Youngjae you never had to try?” the man says scornfully. “Who said I was talking about Youngjae?” I retort much to the displeasure of the other man. “Am I supposed to believe you after all this time?” the man seemed to think that I wasn’t yet over Youngjae.

“What if I told you a secret that no one else knew, would you believe me?” I speak up looking at the man, a smirk forming on my face. “What do you mean?” the man asks. Unable to control myself, I climb on top of the surprised younger man. Stuck underneath me, Younghyun tries to wriggles from underneath me.

“Hey!” what are you doing?” without hesitation, I lean in to plant my lips on the man’s lips. There is a brief struggle from the other man, but I stay put pressing my lips on his soft and plump lips. Eventually the man goes limp before finally his hands slide to my face, he cups and pulls me much closer to him and down onto me.

Another arm slides to my waist pulling me closer and down onto him. It felt so good, the feeling of his warmth. Parting my lips with his, the man slips his tongue inside of my mouth. He coaxes out my tongue out with his own, the kiss was soft and gentle There is a brief silence between the two of us, and as the kiss progresses, the younger and I explore each other. His hand slide up my thighs, to my waist and up to my back. The man feels or grips at my hips and my thighs.

The man cups my ass before turning me around and the man climbs on top of me. He was trapping me between his thighs, his beautiful and strong thighs. The kiss continues to develop becoming messier and sloppier. Sliding his hand through my hair, I pull the younger man closer and onto me enjoying the closeness of the moment.

My heart thumps out of my chest, I my body hearts up feeling the man so close to me. I realise that it had finally happened, what I had been waiting for. The path that I had been shown so long ago, the path that Kyungsoo had almost taken me off. It was the vision that he had ended up showing me in the end, the fact that we loved each other.

Of course the man had no idea of those feelings, he couldn’t know and would be left confused. I was his best friend’s ex, but still here we were in the midst of undressing ourselves. The passion that was flowing through my veins, I knew where this was leading and he had to as well but he didn’t stop. Could he control this? I couldn’t, so how could he?

 

That was our first sexual encounter together, the man and I fit so well together. I realised then and there that I was destined for the other man, that I would go down the difficult path and not give up on him. I was very sure of myself, but the other man isn’t. Flustered and upset, the man tells me to leave that day. I reluctantly leave, only because he needed time to come round to the reality.

A few months do pass eventually and there had a second, third, fourth and fifth encounter. The man and I had so many crossing paths, much like today and this morning. I head over to the Do and Seo law firm, I had received from the lawyer Kang Younghyun. The man was trying to sound very reluctant to see me, but I could tell he wanted to see me.

The older man claims that he wanted to see him, to provide him an account of a drainer because he was dealing with. The man was awkward as he always seemed when he didn’t see each other for a while. As I write up a detailed account, the man watches me but he seems to be trying to be professional but I like feel like pushing him so I flirt a little.

“Have you been avoiding me?” I tease the other man; it had been a couple of weeks since we had seen each other. The man claims that he was busy, he claims work and his daughter had kept him busy, but I knew that wasn’t the truth. Since the arrival of Dowoon into Mokpo, the man was trying to avoid me, and when he failed it always ended the same.

We always ended up having sex, and the man would look like he had kicked a puppy. He was still struggling to deal with his guilt, for sleeping with his best friend’s ex and for sleeping with his ex’s ex. It was a strange little web that we were involved, but he couldn’t free himself. I wouldn’t let him.

“Busy? I guess I thought now that Youngjae was with Yien, you might get a little less busy” the man had seemed to get over the fact that Youngjae had left him for Yien. “Why would it matter if I’m busy or not?” stubborn the man retorts. The man turns his attention to the files at the files in front me, as if he had no idea what I was talking about. I watch the man, hoping to unnerve him. I watch him close hoping to get his attention and to get under his skin the way he had already done with me.

“Here sign these forms, do something useful instead of staring at me” the man nags in the most adorable way. “Don’t be so pretty and I won’t stare so hard” I tease him out. The man frowns looking a bit flustered, he didn’t know how cute he looked right now.

“Dowoon was asking about you” the man mentions, that trace of guilt that he always carried with him growing. “What did you say?” I ask the man, although I honestly didn’t really care, I would still chase the man. “The truth…that you weren’t back for Choi Youngjae and you were working mostly” this was true, but he had kept out the few times we had met and had slept together.

“True and the rest of my time, I’m trying to bump into you” I admit the truth. “Dowoon, he’s my best friend” the man meekly says. I tell him that I’m aware. “And so you’re flirting with me despite knowing our friendship?” the man accuses. “I must seem like a bad guy to you then?” it was half a question, I half assumed that he did.

“Aren’t you a bad guy? After 7 years together with Youngjae, you left him with no explanation” I nod my head, there is nothing I can do to excuse it. “And now… I’ve slept with my ex’s best friend” Younghyun glares at me, but he doesn’t retaliate. So I take advantage of him, I lean in to kiss the younger. The man stays still as I lean into kiss him, he doesn’t pull away, nor does he lean in to accept the kiss not right away. The man was still fighting against his true feelings for me, so I was being patient.

Standing up and head to the door, I notice a flicker of disappointment across the man’s face. He felt more for me than he was willing to admit. So I stop short of the door closing it in front of me, before turning my attention to the other man. I turn around to the other man silently watching him, the man doesn’t say anything. He stands up and slowly makes his way over to me, his eyes trained on me. The tension was thick, I knew that I couldn’t give up on him, not when he looked at me like that.

Later after another intense and romantic encounter, I head over to the precinct, I talk to intelligent and eager colleague Seung Hee. The woman was hard at work, a smart and bright profiler who had been helping us try and track down and catch Im Chang Jung. The woman had been hard at work researching his Jia and she had found quite a bit of information. She explains Jia’s history in the brothel that she had grown up in, and how Chang Jung had saved her from the grip of her overbearing father.

The pair had history, she was by his side until the man was reunited with Changkyun’s mother Park Minyoung. After many years of being separated, the man returned for her and the pair ended up being reunited. They had travelled the world building up more and more of the wretched criminal empire, and somehow it seemed that there was a link to Goo Junhoe.

After claiming responsibility for killing Youngjae’s father and attacking his mother, the former local celebrity had gone on the run. Frustratingly the police were having a hard time finding the man, it was almost as if the man had just disappeared out of nowhere.

According to Youngjae he had been the one to do it, through the phone call he was able to confirm that Junhoe had done. The man was also in search for the man who had killed his father, he was going through the ringer. I could tell he was feeling guilt, the attack had left his family still reeling, his mother Mrs Choi was still closed off, she wasn’t speaking up about what had happened to her. She was traumatised.

Later that day, I do get to sit down and talk to Hoseok. The man had on my instructions being trying to find Kyungsoo for me. I didn’t trust Hyerin and what she was telling us, she was keeping secrets from us and to defeat our common enemy omitting the truth would not help. I felt that her husband was a key in all that was happening, and Hoseok was still looking. He had found a trail and was searching.

Hoseok was working hard, but as we chat the brings up Younghyun. The man brings up the fact that the man was good looking man. “He’s single now, maybe I should make a move?” the man teases, but I could see the knowing look on his face. “How long have you known?” I confront the man, he obviously knew about Younghyun and I.

“Known what?”, the man teases. “Younghyun and I…” I don’t further add anything, I had a feeling the man knew everything, he always did. “Well when you guys make out in public, it’s kind of hard to ignore” the man nudges playfully. “Courthouse make out sessions. A couple alleyway clinches, there was even that time in his office and all under the nose of Dowoon” the man says not really with much judgement but as if he was entertained or something.

“You’re not as careful as you guys make out” the younger flashes his trademark grin. I feel my cheeks burn up embarrassed at how easily caught I had been; I had gotten sloppier as I had grown up. As a teenager I had been able to have an affair with Jaebum that went on years, but back then I had been a little bit more controlled in my actions.

“With the chaebol in town, you’ve still managed to sneak around its impressive” the man plays with his forehead. “I’m sure it’s a little inconvenient. Do you want me to take him off of your hands?” the man offers, but I do my best to ignore him. The situation was messy enough already, I didn’t need him inserting himself into it.

Once my meeting with Youngjae is done, the pair of us head over to Youngjae’s old apartment. The man had pretty much given up his apartment to let his mother stay, and so I head over to visit the older woman. It had been a while since her attack and so I go over to try and talk to her.

When I get there, the woman opens up the door and from what I could see. Her face was a little and puffy, she was trying to put up a confident or calm front but she didn’t look like it. I greet her and ask if I can speak to her, by the looks of it she seemed quite shaky. Coming from the apartment, Junhyuk stands behind his mother and soon his eyes zero in on me.

“She’s not in the right place to speak” the man interjects. “Plus with our history, I don’t think my mom wants to speak to someone who broke her son’s heart” the man smarts. “I’m not her son’s ex in this capacity, I am police officer” I couldn’t keep backing down when I was rejected, I needed to speak to the woman.

“If so then go out there and find the things that killed my father and hurt my mother-“the man’s tone is full of vitriol and loathing. “Don’t call them that!” Youngjae’s mother disapproves. To be honest I wasn’t happy to hear it too, Junhyuk had always been strongly opinionated, but right now he was being incredibly ignorant and I knew it was out of hurt, but still it was irritating.

“Those things you speak of are what protect you every day. I wake up every day to try and protect you” I finally speak up after years of staying silent on the topic. “The same goes to other people, like your brother” I knew it was wrong to reveal something like that, but when I look at his mother, something told me that she already knew.

“So you know?” Mrs Choi asks confirming my suspicions. “Your son has to suffer every day with an addiction that is hard to control but over the last fifteen years he has never killed or hurt anyone that didn’t deserve it” I find myself lecturing these women. “He has put his life on the line for his friends and family. And you look down on the thing that he is” Junhyuk looks down and away, he looks a little bit ashamed or guilty or both.

Needing to let this out, I tell them that Youngjae can’t help but be a drainer more than he can help being gay. It doesn’t change the person he had always been before. He needs his family the most at this time, if he is even a little bit weak then you could lose him.

“What are you talking about?” Junhyuk finally pipes up. “If you want to know, then talk to your brother” I express that right now it didn’t seem like he was having a good time, but we would need to talk. “Mrs Choi, your testimony is very important. We need you, to find who killed your husband” I tell the elder that when she was ready she could call me.

Later that night I meet up with Dowoon at the café, well it’s less of me meeting him and him being there. Dowoon claims that he was still in town on business, but I could sense that there was something more. The man had just suddenly returned out of nowhere claiming he was here for work, and he wanted us to be friends.

It wasn’t much of a stretch to guess that he might have come here to win me back, his timing wasn’t great. I was busy with work and also admittedly I was trying to win his best friend’s heart. I knew that Dowoon’s presence made it harder for Younghyun to accept his feelings for me.

“So you go any plans for tonight?” the young asks with hopeful eyes. The man was obviously hinting, but I shrug and tell him I would probably working on the case. Disappointed with the response the man sighs heavily. Feeling some guilt, I stay with the man for a little while and chat to him over drinks, and its honestly not hard to keep conversation with him. The younger man was always good conversation.

As we chat Hoseok enters the café and soon comes over to greet and join us. The man is all smiles and charm, his eyes eat up Dowoon, I had seen the man taken a liking to many men in the past before but there was something different about this. The way he watched Dowoon, it was as if the man did actually really like him. More than just a lay for him. Or maybe I was just being hopeful, that Dowoon could find love elsewhere and leave his best friend free for me.

In under five minutes, Hoseok manages to charm and disarm Dowoon. He has the other who was usually awkward around strangers, smiling and talking. The older manages to not only get Dowoon’s number, but he asks the man out right, there and then in front of me. Although Dowoon does look hesitant to begin with, he does end up accepting, I suspect to get a rise out of me. The younger can barely hide his disappointment when I encourage the pair and I excuse myself. I knew he would eventually explode at me, and by then we would be able to talk our feelings over properly.

For now, I leave the younger on his spontaneous date with Hoseok and I make use of the next few hours. As I do go back and forth from work, I get a call from the person I wanted to see the most. It was the person that I always wanted to see the most, I had seen him earlier but here he was calling me to his house to meet with him.

As I get at his front door, his daughter Sora opens up the door. The young girl was dressed, or so it seemed to me. The young girl looked surprised to see me, she wasn’t expecting to see me. I didn’t expect that Younghyun had told his young daughter about what we had been getting up to. So I ready my excuse of work, but it seems not to fool the younger.

“What do you want with my dad?” the younger asks not hiding her suspicion at all. “Would you believe me if I said work?” I ask the younger playfully but the younger isn’t moved at all, her face is still stony. “No? what if I said I wanted to seduce your father?” I know it wasn’t tactful of me, but I had a feeling that this girl wasn’t like very typical.

“Why my father?” the younger pushes boldly. I tell her honestly that it was because I feel like I was destined for him. “Well you left Mr Choi after seven years, are you someone I can trust?” the girl doesn’t miss a beat, but it was only right for her dad to be protective of her child. “Yes” I would be sure and make sure there was no uncertainty showing.

“Well I guess that’s enough for me” the girl is surprisingly laid back and understanding. “Uncle Dowoon is going to be pissed, you’re not going to run away and ignore my dad’s feelings because of that right?” the mature young lady checks with me. “I won’t” I reassure her. “Okay then, you can have my dad all to yourself tonight” her expression changes from stone cold to loud and bright, she was definitely an impressive young lady.

Sora heads off but not before letting me into her shared home, the home I had been in before a few times with her father. I sit in the living room waiting for the man, wondering why he had called for me. He had kissed me earlier on, we had almost ended up having sex there and there in his office. But we had been interrupted by a skype call, and the man had coldly dismissed me to take the call.

So now I was unsure, did he want to call to apologise or was he going to try and cut things off. I wait a little nervous, until finally eventually the man comes and it seems that man had calmed down from earlier on. The look on his face, he was acting differently. It was like he needed me.

Standing up, I greet the man with a warm hug. The man doesn’t pull away from me like he usually does, no this time he’s so much more receptive. “I’m not just sleeping with you” I confess; I tell the man that there was more in it for me. Despite the conflicting issues between the two of us, I tell the man that I really did care for and like the man.

“I’ve tried so hard, not to feel the same way”, the man says with a sigh, sounding quite tired. I didn’t know if he was tired of denying his feelings, or if work was tough or if it was both. Holding the man close, I can’t help but smile though. The man had the same feelings, we were meant to be.

Eventually, we settle down into deep and passionate make up session. The man and I had gotten into the swing of things earlier and it seemed that all the pent up emotion and passion from earlier on. It soon gets comfortably sloppy and messy, but it was so right.

We get so immersed in each other, that it’s not until there is a loud clearing of someone’s throat that we jump and pull apart from each other. Stood across the living room was none other than a shocked looking Yoon Dowoon. Before either Younghyun and I can speak up, the younger man rushes away looking justifiably hurt.

Younghyun looking drained and conflicted, he chases after his friend concerned. I understand his side of things, so I let him chase after his best friend. If I were to end up being the villain in this then I would be fine, but if Younghyun could recover his friend, then he should chase after her.

Later I head back home, and on the way past the café, I bump into Youngjae. The man looked upset and down in the dumps, so I decide to try and engage him, to speak up to him. Was he okay? I check up on the man and he reveals that he had just come back from Seoul.

The man admits that things between he and Yien were very rocky. He admits that he had kept a big secret from Yien and now that he had confessed the elder hadn’t reacted well at all. He felt like things weren’t going to be the same again between him and the elder, and so he was contemplating coming out with another secret.

“Should I tell Changkyun that we were related?” surprised I watch the other man. It seemed that the man knew about his parentage, and even his relation to the man he had known as his best friend. It appeared that he had known if for a while, he must have had so much on his mind. With his parentage, coming to light. The man was definitely dealing with a lot.

Knowing that the man was now are of the truth. I tell him about Kyungsoo and his vision, the one thing that Kyungsoo had told me about was the fact there were three brothers. The man is surprised to know that I had known for so long and that I hadn’t told me, but fortunately he doesn’t hold it against me. He seemed far too distracted anyway, he excuses himself and heads off to the café and to see Changkyun. I assume it is to confess.

At home as I settle in for the night, I do get a late night call. It was Hoseok, the man claims that he had left his dinner with Dowoon to oversee a wolf pack issue. It was all sorted out, but even more so he had finally heard from a contact of his who was helping him track down Do Kyungsoo.

“We found him” the man expresses his excitement at this fact. The man was very well hidden, he had been almost impossible to track but fortunately he knew another fair who had tracking powers to help him out. So he had called with the news of Kyungsoo’s location. The fair was hidden and it would take some convincing, but we agree that we’d start off tomorrow.

Later that night my door bell rings, and at the front door I find that Younghyun was waiting outside of my house. He reveals that he had he had argued with Dowoon and the younger had gone back to Busan. Younghyun admits that Dowoon was mad, he wouldn’t listen to him. I tell that man that he needed to give me some time.

“You’re not giving up on us?” I ask the other man, watching him unsure of what impact Dowoon knowing the truth had on us. “This is all a mess” Younghyun looks close to breaking point. “Are you giving up on us?” I ask the younger once again, I was desperate for an answer. I watch the man closely, before suddenly he looks up and locks onto my gaze.

“I don’t know how things got like this” Younghyun sounded so pained. “I think I’m in love with you” as soon as those words leave the other man’s lips, tears soon follow. Without hesitation I reach to pull him into my embrace, I had heard all I needed. I had all I needed with me right now.


	15. ...Choices

Yien's POV

 

“Today’s interview has been a pleasure for all of us here at Bubble Pop!” the smaller handsome journalist summarises towards the camera. Lit up by some standing lighting, the small meeting room had managed to look like a bright studio. It managed to look quite comfortable and less business like, and it had not only put me at ease, but the audience who would be watching would feel that comfortability too. Or at least that is what the Bubble Pop! Production Director Kim Hyuna had claimed.

 

The room was full of people, the staff of the show were either holding the filming equipment or just watching and making notes. I was sat with web and TV journalist, Yoon San. We had gone through our interview and now we were wrapping up everything.

“So just one last question Mr Tuan, what is your ideal type” Yoon San raises his eyebrow looking amused at the camera, it was obvious what he thought of the question. Similar to me, I felt like the question was kind of corny. It was embarrassing, I felt like I was some idol from a boy band being asked a question for my fans. But I had been informed by my manager that for now, I would have to act that way.

For the sake of work, I would have to put across a charming and warm kind of impression towards the audience. The reason I had even gone on this show was to give such an impression. Being interviewed by Yoon San who was popular amongst teens and young adults. My manager Jo Mi-Hye, had suddenly popped up seeing my potential, she had gotten me as many interviews as possible.

Over the last few months, there had been a sudden and surprising surge in the audience for my web toon “Out Of This World”. It was a work of fiction, about an Alien who tries to take down the humans who had killed her family. It was a story with a female protagonist who wasn’t quite the typical kind of character, she was strong and resolute and unaffected by love.

After a recommendation from a very famous idol, the web toon has picked up a lot of fans. So suddenly I was in great demand, I was getting interviews, and now I even had a manager that was setting up television show deals for me. It was all quite profitable for me, it was a surprise but something that I wasn’t looking down on.

Along with the interviews I was doing for my works, I had been doing some advertising for Plum Girl which Hayi was still allowing me to work for. I was very busy trying to manage both jobs, but recently being busy had become somewhat of a relief for me. The busier I was, the less I had to worry about the person who I loved and cared for the most.

Once I answer the question of my ideal type, but not in a completely sincere way. That interview eventually finishes, I do my pleasantries thanking the interviewer, the PD and cast before I head out.

On my way out through the Hotel foyer, a familiar voice calls out for me. When I turn around, I see the handsome journalist I had just spent a good hour with rushing towards me. He had changed from his comfortable blouse and skinny jeans combo and had put on a hoodie and snapback. He looked more casual and hip-hop styled, the dark clothing suited him better.

Flashing me his perfect teeth, despite his smaller frame Yoon San excluded a confidence of a man twice his height and size. The man joins me explaining that he would be leaving soon, and so he makes light conversation. I could tell from the look in his eyes what he wanted from me, but he was trying to find the right way to ask the question.

“You’re my type” the man suddenly comes out with it. “That’s flattering”, I had learnt to politely decline those who could end up helping me in the future. “So how about dinner, the two of us?” the man pushes on. I hesitate, because I knew that I needed to tread carefully. I needed to reject him in a careful way, but not to end the working relationship.

“Look, it’s nothing serious. We could see where it ends up?” the man carefully tries to approach me. “No thank you” I carefully but honestly reply. It was better to be upfront rather than drag it along and use the man’s attraction for me to advance. “Am I not your type? You’d be surprised, I’m actually a top” the man says with a play nudge.

Amused I chuckle in reply, I had sensed that vibe very early on in our interactions, but of course none of that mattered to me in the end. When I try to express that sentiment to the other man, its met with a chuckle.

“Let me guess, you have a boyfriend?” the man using his journalistic skills questions me. I wasn’t really sure if I could call what Youngjae and I an exclusive relationship. He hadn’t really called me his boyfriend yet, not officially. We hadn’t had that talk yet, but there really hadn’t been time. Everything had gotten extremely intense.

It had been close to two months since the death of Choi Woobin and still his family was feeling the reverberations of that loss. He had left his family absolutely crushed, struggling to cope with the loss of their patriarch. The clot knit family was trying their best to deal with the reality, to try and move on with their lives. But of course that was easier said than done when someone who was so important died so suddenly and so shockingly.

Details about the attack were still fuzzy, Mrs Choi was claiming that she couldn't remember what had happened. Not that I could blame her, she had been through so much. In the end, she had been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress, being attacked so viciously and watching her loved one had left the once strong and chipper woman weak and distant.

Youngjae was doing his best to support his mother, doing whatever she asked of him. She would stay with him at his apartment, he had decked out the place with lots of security. The doors were reinforced with plenty of locks, and dead bolts. There was an emergency hide out put inside of the apartment, in case there was a breach to the apartment.

Slowly and surely, Mrs Choi was letting go of Youngjae and allowing herself to become more independent. She was slowly getting back to her old self, but Youngjae was there to watch him just in case. He was watching over all his family and had been put on high alert since all of the attacks. Fortunately, over the last two months, there were no more attacks on the Chois and in general the attacks on Mokpo had calmed down.

“So it’s not a solid thing yet? Ahhhh, well that gives me a chance!” the other man confidently comments. Sure it was flattering, to have someone after me unrelenting like this. However, like many others I had dealt with, the desire for Youngjae became far too much for me to focus on anything.

Even if it was fuck buddy kind of situation the man wanted from me, I wouldn’t do it. I didn’t want to risk scaring off the younger man. I didn’t want to give him any reason to doubt me and the overwhelming love that I had for him. So I would politely decline and head over to my next schedule. Yoon San wishes me luck for the day, but he waves his phone around claiming that he had my number and I should expect his call.

Later that afternoon, I had a radio interview that I had to do, and I was cutting it pretty close at the moment and just about reach the studio on time. The interview is much of what I had been doing recently, just a brief introduction on me and what kind of person I was. Was I close with my family; did I have a girlfriend? What kind of friend was I? The emphasis was used on my personal life, something I was warned about by Jo Mi-Hye.

With my goal of promoting my web toon, I answer the questions as best as I can without going into deep detail. There were some things that I wasn’t very honest about, it was for the preservation of my image according to Jo Mi-Hye. I didn’t want to speak up on my private life too much, so I didn’t mind this approach of keeping things.

The interview passes by quite quickly, and for the rest of the evening we head off home. I bump into older man, I physically bump into him and do my best to apologise to him. Now I was pretty sure he had bumped into, but still he was an elder and so I apologise out of politeness.

As I look at the man, even though I had never met him before. I felt like I recognised him, he was someone who felt quite familiar. The man approaches me and with a smile on his face, he speaks, he brings up Youngjae. I didn’t know how the man knew Youngjae, but it seemed that he was very familiar with Youngjae, the way he smiled for the man made me feel some sort of suspicion.

“News finally reached me about his family, what a terrible thing to happen” a chill travels down my back. There looked something insincere about his words. “Tell Youngjae that he is my thoughts” the man seems to bite down a smirk on his face before excusing himself. With no name, I had no idea who I would tell Youngjae that I had talked to in the end.

Later that evening, I wait in shop for dinner. Changkyun and Hyojin were hushed talking, there looked to be in intense conversation. There had been a lot of intense and hushed talking recently, they were working double time to keep their city protected from the evils of out of control drainers.

Sure the elusive Lee Woojin had returned, but his influence wasn’t doing much for the drainers. They were probably working under the rule of a different drainer, the mysterious entity that Jia was working with and under. That person seemed to have more power than the strongest drainer that any of the supernatural allies had ever dealt with.

Changkyun pulls away from his wife, he strokes through her hair. He smiles and kisses his wife softly and tenderly. After all these years and all the trouble that they have been through, they had remained so strong. The love that they had gone stronger, and leaves me watching on a bit envious. The pair were unbreakable, whilst I wasn’t even sure what I had could be that strong, I was trying as best as I could to be strong.

“Hyung you’re here!” Changkyun greets before heading over to me. With pen and paper in hand, he takes down my order. As he does he makes polite chatter with me, and he congraluates me for the recent success that I had. Claiming he had seen me on tv recently, the man seemed sincere in his support for me. Even asking for my signature, to hang up on the wall.

The conversation is light and playful until he finally brings up Youngjae. As he checks up on Youngjae, the concern was written all over his face. Youngjae wasn’t reaching out to the people, he was mostly focused on his mission and most of those who wanted to reach him would usually have to ask through me, which sometimes left me in an awkward position.

“Tell Youngjae not to become a stranger” the café owner says as I leave with my order of food. I awkwardly smile and assure him that I would, and I would. But I knew that Youngjae was still struggling with the fact that they were biologically related, he had found this all out from Hoseok and now he was trying to figure out whether to tell the other man or not.

As far as life in general, Youngjae was struggling. While we were together, the man was looking towards to me for comfort. I was more than willing to be there with him and to comfort him. I knew that he was trying to move his life on forward, to let his father’s death not break him but it was difficult for him. He blamed himself for it all, he was the one who was being targeted and it looked like his family had been hit as collateral.

So after all that had happened, Youngjae wasn’t quite the same person as he had been before. He was quieter, colder, and more of a recluse. He stayed either with his mother the nights and days that she needed him, or she was with me at home. Outside of that, he was no longer going to work and he had pretty much shut himself off socially whilst he tried to get stronger, with the help of Hyerin and her fairs.

When I get to the house, I find Youngjae in a state. He was cleaned and dressed in a pair of shorts and a hoodie, he looked very comfortable. But scattered across his body were bruises and bite marks, he looks like he had been fighting again. My heart leaps up with some concern.

My attempts to check up on Youngjae and fuss on him, the man doesn’t hide his irritation. Annoyed, he slaps my hand away. The man snaps at me, asking for me to leave him alone. It’s a harsh reaction, one that I’ve recently had to get a little too used to. Youngjae often went through mood swings, one minute he seemed to be hopeful about himself and his skills and defeating his enemy, the next he was like this.

“Sorry…” the man reaches for my hand, pulling me down next to him. He explains that he hadn’t had a good day working with Hyerin. Although he had gone to her for help, to help unlock his powers. He wasn’t easily taking to the fair life, it clashed so much with what he had learnt whilst being as a drainer. And now he was having to embrace the powers that had been passed over from his mother. He was dealing in some unknown territory and it seemed to really have him drained.

Leaning my head onto Youngjae’s shoulder, I stroke through the younger’s hair. Reaching for my free hand, Youngjae apologises once more before asking me how my day had gone. It seemed that he needed me to do the speaking, he wasn’t ready to speak up and tell me all that I wanted. He knew that I would wait, but I was starting to get impatient.

Even so, I knew Youngjae hated being pushed into speaking. Especially when everything was so sensitive, so at his own pace, I was allowing him to omit for now. That night I don’t bring up anything that was deep, I keep the conversation topic pretty upbeat. I tell him about being hit on by Yoon San, and his jealous reaction, leaves me feeling a little relieved. The man still cared for me, he still wanted me.

The next morning, I wake up to an empty bed. Despite the early hour I had woken up that morning, Youngjae had still beaten me to it. The younger leaves me a note on the pillow, telling me to have a good day. The man leaves nothing else, not how long he would be, not what he would be doing. It was the same pattern that we had been through so recently.

“Mark Tuan, hyung needs your help” the man bursts into my room, forcing me out of bed. The man instructs me to come with him and join him, he was going to be doing surveillance on someone. “Are you bored?” the man fluffs through my hair fondly. The man sits on the toilet, watching me through the showers, I was comfortable with him.

Through my struggles with supporting Youngjae, the other man had been a great friend and confidant to me. Despite sleeping together in the past, Hoseok had never over stepped between the two of us. He was a good friend of mine, the man was a very genuine and supportive friend, he had been someone who I could depend on.

It was fairly obvious that the man seemed to know that I was having a tough time, I was far too focused on Youngjae and worried about him. So once I’m washed and dressed, I head over with Hoseok to the outer skirts of town. It was a small quaint village still in Mokpo, it looked like quite an older neighbourhood. Like we had taken a time machine to decades in the past.

On this day, we were following a woman who lived on the border of Mokpo older lady who owned a small food shop. As part of the surveillance, we head inside of her shop and get something to eat, whilst getting some surveillance shots. Hoseok doesn’t go into the reasons why were tracking the woman other than the fact a client was interested in seeing how she was over the years. So assuming it was really nothing special, I sit with the man over some ramyun and talk about Youngjae.

“You have to let Youngjae deal with this alone” when there is a silence that settles down amongst us, the elder who had kind of been tiptoeing around the issues. Looking up I see that the elder wasn’t trying to lecture me or tell me off, this was just friendly advice on his part. “He can’t have you as a crutch” the man who was also part of the supernatural beings around town, must know of the daily pressures that came with his powers.

Hoseok leaves it at that for a while, even when he was giving me his help, he was so relaxed and at ease. The older man turns his attention to the food in front of himself, he keeps an eye on the woman throughout the day. Once we have finished our meal, we head back out into the car parked across the street continuing the surveillance until the woman does eventually leave the shop for the day.

That evening, we follow the woman from the shop to her home. It was small and modest house in the quietest part of a normal neighbourhood. While we’re there Hoseok takes pictures of the place. Watching the man in action was truly fascinating, after all he was such a creative mind, a brilliant graphic artist. But instead of working in that lane, the man had chosen to go into a line of work that involved helping others.

As Hoseok snaps away pictures of the bungalow house, he had a focus, something about this was really important. So I ask who it was, who was this woman and what was her real relevance.

“It’s someone’s long lost mother” the man simply answers. “Anyone I know?” the question had been bugging me the whole day. “You mean Youngjae?” the elder asks with a smile. When I ask if it was, she shakes her head to deny it. “No, I tried looking her up, and I got to a certain date and year but at some point she kind of just disappeared into thin air” the man confesses, the look on his face seems pretty honest.

Is that even possible? To just suddenly disappear? That thought runs through my head. “If you try” I tell the man. Why would she want to? Why did she leave Youngjae? I can’t imagine wanting to leave Youngjae, does that woman even know what she had missed out on? On the kind of son that was bright, kind and so loving.

“Those are things way out of my pay grade and scope”, the man casually shrugs. He looked like he had thought it all out, he had to have through his search in Youngjae’s past. So did Youngjae know? Did he know that his mother and father were both missing? He had to be curious, even if they were no in his life, he had to be thinking about them.

“That’s something Youngjae is going to have to find out when he confronts his biological father” Hoseok explains that Youngjae was going to have a lot of questions to ask. “He’s not ready yet, he has all this bullshit to deal with at the moment. What if his mysterious enemy tried to push him again?

“Then we have to protect him until he’s ready” Hoseok resolutely promises. “For now, he has to work hard to get stronger. To understand his powers” It looked like the cogs had been working overtime for the elder. “To understand his powers?” there was something more to what he was saying.

“We’ve known for a while that Youngjae isn’t an ordinary drainer, but we never really knew why” the man reveals. How did they know this? To me he had always just seemed like a normal drainer. “The few times we’ve fought with him. We tested him to see if it was something he had control of” I was surprised to hear this, to know that they had known.

Did Changkyun know about this too? He had to know, then why hadn’t he told Youngjae? Why were there secrets kept between two people I had always assumed were so open and honest with each other. Was it something that I should be worried about, or should assume that it was just typical Changkyun being over protective over Youngjae?

“Once he gets control of his powers, then he could be extremely powerful” Hoseok says with a hopeful look on his face. The elder claims that he could make up the strength of a dozen wolves if he really does get his drainer and fair powers to balance up. The man confesses that he had always kind of suspected Youngjae of having such strong powers.

“We are similar!” the man explains that through his father he was also part fair. “My father. He was a fair, not a very strong one. He was mostly a memory healer” the man confesses. I had always known that he could manipulate memories, but I thought it was just what came with being a wolf. They all have different purposes that they serve per pack, I assumed his memory manipulation was part of that.

“You can tamper with memories. That’s something I tend to use with some of the humans we save” the man explains that; it’s better not to remember the trauma they have gone through and what they have watched. “We’re used to it, but seeing wolves rip up human heads or drainers punching holes into wolves and humans. It’s all a bit intense” it was understandable when he explained it that way. The man goes on to further reveal that fairs all had different powers, and strengths and levels of strength it takes to control those powers. Youngjae’s powers were so rare, that he was going to have such a hard time.

With a little bit of understanding to his current situation, I decide to follow Hoseok’s advice. I’m sure that Youngjae was probably feeling overwhelmed by everything that was happening around him, he would be feeling frustrated by any failures he had. So I wouldn’t make it any worse, he would open up to me when he needed to, that was our way.

Later that night, Hoseok drops me off home. The man had his shift in the pack that he had to get over and done with. The man was very busy protecting those around him, helping those who needed help and never once did he ask for the favour to be returned. But one of these days, I promised that I would. He needed to know that he was appreciated.

While I plan something fun for Hoseok and I to do one a free day sometime soon, I get a call from my mother. The older woman hadn’t called me in while, which immediately has me concerned. Not that she normally called me often, she had gotten remarried and was very focused on her new husband and his children. It wasn’t something I held against her or anything, I had always preferred our chats to be spaced out.

Although she does text me, the last time she had called me was during my web toon tour. The woman over the phone tries to keep it very light and friendly, she asks how I was. What I was doing? She claims that her step children had read the translated version of the web toons and were now big fans of me. She asks me for a signature and claims that she was proud of me and would visit me soon hopefully.

Despite the fact that I missed her, I wasn’t sure how I would feel about her scheming and overbearing personality. Still I stay silent, I don’t want to hurt her feelings. So I make shallow conversation until she finally speaks up about what she seemed to be obviously avoiding.

“How is Youngjae?” the woman had initially been quite sympathetic with the younger after hearing the news of his father’s passing. However, that bit of compassion had seemed to eventually run out, and now she was bringing up the ex that she was so fond of. She had seen Minsu recently and he seemed to be doing well. She was hinting she had always liked him and wasn’t happy to hear that we had broken up in the end.

As Minsu was my longest lasting relationship, my mother really did get attached to the elder. She loved that he was someone with a respectable job and she thought that he had kept me very grounded and calm. The woman thought that he was a good influence and unlike Youngjae, she didn’t see his potential to hurt me. She worried about me so much, she had tried for so many years to get me to leave Youngjae, but I could never really do it.

Despite her hints and attempts to pull her to my ex, I ignore them in favour of making light conversation. That night, I return to find Youngjae there. Unlike yesterday, he looked fine. There were bumps or scrapes, he looked fine and seemed to be in a decent mood. He was sweet and affectionate towards me, lots of hugs and kisses on his behalf.

Although he doesn’t really open up to me, I still take what I can get. The light hearted, laughing and joking that goes on between the two of us. Youngjae actually helps me with the cooking of dinner, and that night we lay down for the night. It’s definitely comfortable.

That night I settle into the arms of Youngjae to settle into sleep. As I do, I drift off into a dream that had recently become very reoccurring. It was the same bleeping of a heart monitor, I could hear a breathing apparatus and some muffled crying. Someone was crying and it felt like they were crying for me, and it was totally breaking my heart.

“Hyung please wake up…” through sniffling, I could hear Youngjae’s heartbroken voice. “Please Hyung you can’t leave me like this” I just wanted to get up and hug the other man. But I couldn’t see him, I could barely feel him and I couldn’t move. It was definitely not a dream that I cared for, but it was reminiscent of the vision Hyerin had shown me before.

It had been months since I had first seen it through Hyerin, and when I had asked her what it meant, she had simply warned me to be careful. According to Hoseok the woman was a fair who dealt with mind reading, be when she touched me, something else had happened. The man had suggested that maybe it was a glitch, but as someone who was continuously experiencing the heart wrenching moment over and over again, it felt so real.

The next morning, I wake up glad that it was all just an awful dream and I find Youngjae was up and dressed. The younger had showered and dressed, he looked like he was ready for combat. He was working himself harder to get stronger. But sadly he looked tired, and gaunt. I was concerned.

Following Hoseok’s advice I don’t push him on that, instead I wrap my arms around his waist and pulling onto the bed. Without fighting it he sits briefly next to me on the bed, his hands on my hands.

“Hyung, why didn’t I tell you that I loved you sooner?” with those words the air leaves my lungs. “You’ve technically never said it” I counter finally when I have my breathing back to normal. ” But you’ve always known right?” he asks sincerely. “Yes” of course I did, unlike anyone I had been with, Youngjae showed his love instead of just using the words. “I love you” but still, my heart flutters when hearing the words directly from his mouth.

“Why are you saying it now” the man’s face kind of shifts, it was only slight, but I could tell he had something he felt bad about. “Are you thinking bad things?” I stroke through the man’s hair to try and reassure him. “I want to spend the rest of my life saying those words” I could see some fear in his eyes, I didn’t know why he was so scared.

“You will, we’ll be old and gray” I try to reassure the other. Youngjae half chuckles and scoffs in response, before wrapping his arms around my shoulders. Leaning his head onto my forehead, the other boy wishes me luck for my day before excusing himself for more training.

With no choice but to let him get on with it, I decide to pop into work and see how a certain project was going. Despite being on my series tour, I was still working at Hayi’s company. I still had some responsibilities and as creative director, and even though I trusted my team to work and follow my instructions. I couldn’t trust them outside of that.

Before I can get inside of their work area, I overhear some of the raging gossiping of the creative team. According to the rumour mill, I had seduced Youngjae from Seo Sung Kyung’s ex-husband. That was something that I couldn’t deny as a lie, but the way they were talking, the made it seem like I was just a fox who had seduced for seduction’s sake.

“It’s a wonder any work gets done around here, with all this bitching!” a familiar voice calls out from behind. When I turn around I spot Sung Kyung who had just come out of her office, and it appears she had overheard the pathetic gossiping that was going on.

“Are you okay?” Sung Kyung asks, with a mixture of amusement and concern. She was trying to make sure that I wasn’t too hurt by it all, but I could tell there was some amusement or some agreement. I don’t really care either way, I didn’t really have any issues with her at the moment apart from the way she seemed to dislike Youngjae. But honestly I didn’t care because it doesn’t affect my relationship with Youngjae.

“Better than okay!” I say before entering the office area. The employees who had been bad mouthing me immediately straighten up. But by then its’ too late, I don’t punish them too much. I do just put more work on their load and ask them to stay longer to finish little errands for me. Very immature, but very worth it, it’s enough to keep me busy for the rest of the day.

Once I am caught up with work, I head off back to my apartment. Youngjae was already in bed resting when I get home, he looked banged up, the bruises and bumps were much bigger. Of course I was worried, but the look on his face shows that he didn’t want me to be overly worried. So I just do my bit with him, once I prepare him something to eat and chill with him.

The man is the first to sleep, he could sleep for a long time especially if he had been injured and was recuperating. I wouldn’t be doing anything to stress him out. I would only be useful for him.

So the next day, for the first time in a while. I wake before Youngjae; I find the man was still deep in his sleep. He looked much better, the colour had returned to his cheeks, he was rosier and the bruises and cuts had healed up. He looked like the Youngjae I had loved so much was back. It had been a while since I had seen him comfortably sleeping.

While I prepare the younger’s favourite breakfast, the door knocks rapidly. Hoseok had gone to work already, and so it was just Youngjae and I but I hadn’t expected anyone to come for either one of us.

More surprising is who I find waiting in the doorway. It was Park Junghwa the mother of Youngjae’s child, and said child Choi Noah. Months after finally confessing that she was the mother of his child, Junghwa had become more of a permanent fixture in Youngjae’s life, mind too. I still wasn’t sure how I felt about it, there was so many conflicted feelings.

Of course I was jealous, I had always been about Youngjae’s past lovers. But the difference with Junghwa and the rest is that one she was a woman and two she had given birth a child of his. They shared this deep and everlasting bond, not only through their child but through the wolf connection.

Park Junghwa was my only real threat, because despite being naturally attracted to men. She had been the only woman that had affected Youngjae. What started as a little annoying and unrequited crush from her side, was now something that I feared would bubble over. Just like Changkyun and Hyojin who couldn’t resist each other, maybe one day Youngjae and Junghwa would end up getting caught up in each other.

“Hello Oppa!” the younger brightly greets me, her son comfortably perched in her arms. The younger boy who had become the light of Youngjae’s life, was admittedly the cutest mix of his parents. The chubby little cute one who even at such a young age, seemed to be so well behaved. He read the mood of the people of those around him and seemed to calm them down.

Although there was a little tension, I can sense an awkwardness between Junghwa and I. Just looking at her, I notice that she wasn’t keeping eye contact with me. Even though I was with the man that she loved, she seemed to be supportive of whatever Youngjae did, as long as he was happy. But still, the way she had been recently. It was different.

“Is Youngjae here?” the woman asks. She reveals that they had met yesterday and he had agreed to take Noah for the night, as she would be heading out of town. “If he’s not able to, I can-“ I interrupt the woman in the middle of her excuse. Youngjae hadn’t told me about spending the day with Noah, but I knew he would want to spend time with the younger. The child was the only one who seemed to genuinely make Youngjae bright and happy and he definitely needed it right now.

Using the excuse of letting Youngjae sleep in bed longer, I lie and say that I had switched off his alarm. But I would take care of Noah and wake Youngjae up, and we would spend a lovely weekend together.

“Is he okay?” Junghwa asks as she hands over her precious son to me. The woman’s eyes were full of concern, she always had that look when it came to talking about Youngjae. Her happiness always relied on whether or not Youngjae was happy, and she had to have been very worried once Youngjae suffered the loss of his father.

“No, it'll be hard. But he'll be happy to see Noah” it was true, Youngjae loved his son and I would be there to try and get him in a brighter space. “Take care you guys” Junghwa says before excusing herself, as I watch her I can’t still shake the weird feeling that I had.

With Junghwa gone, I head back into the house with the young boy. Looking down at the chipper and cute child, I can’t help but wonder if he knows his true powers. Did he know that his blood line was so strong, he was the child of alpha assassin, he was bound to become a wolf through his mother.

Meanwhile his father was a drainer with fair powers that run through him. The child was going to have a strong blood line rushing through him, he was going to be a very strong adult as long as he had the support of the people around him. His parents, both sides of his family, his friends and at some point, I would be there to support the younger.

“Oh hyung, I’m really sorry” Youngjae apologises when he wakes up. He rushes through the shower and change of clothes. And sits down with his son and I to eat the food that I had prepared.

Just seeing his child seems to inject Youngjae with so much energy. He was so bright and happy for his child. Youngjae had taken so well to being a father, it was something he seemed to be made to do. He was such a cute father; he melts in the puddle for the sight of his young child. Not that I blamed him, Choi Noah had a way of enamoring those around him.

That night we take the youngest Choi on a walk to the park. The young boy had so many energies to throw out, he runs amuck through the park. We keep a close eye on him of course, Youngjae wasn’t letting his child out of his eye line. So we follow not far behind the younger, and as we do we talk on the future plans for the younger.

Youngjae reveals that he’s willing to travel wherever to stay in his son’s life. But seeing as Junghwa didn’t have any plans to move, he was comfortable in Mokpo for now. The man wanted to fight harder to make the town safe for his son, and of course I understood that sentiment.

Later that night as Noah naps, Youngjae and I talk. It seemed that having his child around was allowing him to be more open with me, recently he had held back his emotions. He hadn't even cried since his father’s funeral. The man wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me close into him.

That Sunday afternoon, the three of us head out for dinner with Youngjae’s family. It had been a while since they had caught up, the loss of the patriarch had made things a little weird and disjointed. The family wasn’t as close as it had once been, and it seemed like the matriarch of the family had taken notice of that and gathered her children, their partners and children in one place that being Youngjae’s apartment for dinner.

There are two tables, one for the adults set up in the kitchen and dining room area, whilst the kids were being allowed to eat in the living room area. Youngjae’s nephews and niece had taken well to their younger cousin, showering the youngest amongst themselves with a lot of love and attention. Noah was fitting already in the Choi family and was already so loved, it was quite a heartwarming sight to see.

Whilst the children bonded over the latest addition to the Choi family, the elders sit down to eat and catch up. Everyone seemed to be doing their best to move on with their lives, they were trying much harder to leave impressions on the world as they lived. Their father’s death had definitely shaken up the Choi quarter. It seemed like everyone was similar to Youngjae, they had their good days and their bad days.

Junhyuk looks to be the most outwardly affected. The normally well put together and tough elder, was haggard and gaunt in his appearance. Throughout the afternoon together he drinks a lot, and that fuels a lot of his shortness. He spends most of the time when he does speak complaining about drainers. Understandably he was angry with the creatures who had so ruthlessly killed his father and terrorized his mother.

However, there were a lot of uncomfortable faces around the table. The children who had been over hearing looked awkward and unsure how to react. Meanwhile Minho and Sooyoung were very open with their disapproval, after all they were well aware that Youngjae was drainer. While the pair defend their younger sibling, Jinwoon watches his mother concerned. The woman was so close to losing it.

“Oh shut up, what do you know?!” for the first time in knowing him, Youngjae loses his patience with his older brother. Youngjae was usually very respectful, he usually allowed his brother to be loud and sometimes overbearing. But today it didn’t seem that Youngjae had the patience for it.

He had allowed the older man to disrespect drainers all this time, it looked like he was fed up. There was only so much ignorance the younger could tolerate, but now that the older was drunk and his tongue was looser. There were some offensive things that even Youngjae couldn’t ignore and so now he was calling out the other man.

“If you have such a problem with drainers, then its probably time we cut each other off” Youngjae announces suddenly to the room of his siblings and shocked mother. Only his mother, Junhyuk and Soojung seemed to be shocked. Everyone else in the room had known, but still the fact that he was loudly and proudly announcing it, it silences the whole room.

“What the hell are you saying?” Junhyuk was still in shock. Youngjae finally openly reveals that he was a drainer and had been one for fifteen years. “I’m not ashamed of who I am, I’m not some monster and I won’t be made to feel that way” Youngjae says before he leaves. He excuses himself and goes to Noah, getting him dressed, Youngjae leaves his sibling in shock and his mother who was wordless about this all.

There was a tension in the air, and it looked like Youngjae had one more thing to worry about. As we make our way out, I do notice that Junhyuk looks bothered and a little guilty. Although his gaze doesn’t meet his youngest sibling as he leaves, he still gives me enough hope that they will eventually make up.

Needless to say, the rest of the weekend is a little tense. Youngjae tries to spend it showering his son with affection, but I can tell that he’s still think about his confession. I was certain Jinwoon and Sooyoung were on his side and had no problems with who he was. But those were mostly affected that being Youngjae’s mother and his brother Junhyuk would take time to come round to the reality that Youngjae was of the supernatural world.

With Youngjae busy with his training, the next morning I offer to drop Noah off to his mother in the café the next morning. During our meeting I can’t help but take notice of the fact that Junghwa seemed a little off. Unable to resist, I ask her if she was doing fine, but she seemed a little off.

Suspecting it was due to Youngjae’s behaviour, I try to at least explain why he was being the way he was. He wasn't being distant because he didn't love us. He doesn't regret Noah being here.

“Do you regret it?” the woman carefully asks. No and honestly, it was the truth. “Noah is Choi Youngjae’s child, that I means I love him too” that’s really how I saw it, he was an extension of Choi Youngjae. The woman seems to relax a bit. “I didn't want to force this on you” Junghwa tries to explain her wariness of the situation.

“If this had been forced, I would have left Youngjae” although the woman seemed relied, I Could see some conflict on her face. “I know I have never been your biggest fan. Some of that comes from the fact that you did give birth to Youngjae's child” while I’m being honest, I make my confessions. I let her know that part of me is jealous of course.

“He loves you too in his own way” Youngjae had never had to say it, but I could always tell by the way he looked at her. “Are you satisfied with just that, don't you think you'll want to for more?” I ask about something that I was curious about. “I've never been satisfied, but the thing that's always kept me going is if Youngjae is happy” the woman meekly confesses.

“Right now more than anything, Youngjae needs his family” I let Junghwa know that we needed to keep our support unit close. Junghwa nods slightly, but I can still sense that something is off. I wasn’t sure if she trusted me enough to be open and confess whatever it was, but I wouldn’t push her into that.

Later that afternoon, I meet with Hoseok. The alpha was tracking the woman from before down, back outside of her home we watch her for a little while. Hoseok speaks about something new he had caught onto; it was just a little bit of gossip to him. He had seen a couple who was beginning stages of their relationship, one guy broke up with another and now he's getting together his ex’s best friend. It was all a complicated web.

“Its stuff like that reminds me what I’m fighting for” the man says with a very serious expression. “Messy gay affairs, they must be protected” an amused smile finds its way spread across his face. I can’t help but smile, although he was joking, I understood what he meant. That as serious as things had gotten recently, the ordinary relationship drama was something that had been pushed to the side lines.

“Do I know these guys?” I ask the other man. “Do you?” the man counters with another question. With a smirk across his face, the man doesn’t confirm nor deny. As good as the man was at teasing, I wasn’t quite sure if could decipher his facial expression and tone.

The man spends the rest of the morning into the early afternoon teasing me. He explains that whilst on his night duties with his wolf pack, he had seen the couple sneaking around a few times. The other man admits that he envied the pair, that even though the start of their relationship was a bit clumsy and clunky, it seemed that they would be a couple that would last.

Once in a while there was a dark and sad aura that surrounded Hoseok. I understood why, he had told me not long ago that the person who he had imprinted on had passed away almost two decades ago. It had been so long and it seemed that he carried that sadness around. He had never settled down in a relationship and it seemed to be because of the longing that he had for his deceased ex. It was sad.

Out of all the people I knew, Hoseok was truly one of the loveliest. He was protective of those around him, he was kind without making it feel overwhelming or overbearing. He was a true hero who worked to protect those around him and his only desire seemed to be to see the people that he cared about happy. I was determined to pay him back one day for all that he had done for me, even with Youngjae.

Letting me stay with him, to have a place close enough to Youngjae. The fact he was cool with an overly affectionate couple like us around, Youngjae and I should probably think about moving out soon. Once everything quietened down, then we would look at that and thank Hoseok for all that he has done in the appropriate manner.

 

On my way back to the house, Hoseok allows me to walk alone believing that I would be fine with the one road. As I make my way towards Hoseok’s house, I bump into a very familiar face. It was the former face of the drainer council, and the murderer of Choi Woobin; Goo Junhoe. Stood in the middle of the road, dressed pretty casually a dark grey hoodie, black skinny jeans and some black Yeezys. With a face mask dangling from his face, I could still see who it was. It was a monster.

“Ah there he is, Choi Youngjae’s play thing” the man says with a taunting grin on his face. I grimace at the sight of him, no doubt my heart was racing a little out of fear. After all this man was a cold blooded killer, and sure I had fought and even killed drainers before, but that was usually with the support and backing of stronger drainers.

“What a shock that he would let his precious jewel walk the streets alone like this” the man teases menacingly slowly walking towards me. I still frozen in my position, there would be no use in running. The man would most likely be much quicker than I was. So I was doing my best not to show fear or any concern, I would stand up to this evil fucker.

“As Youngjae's most loved one, don't you think you'll be part of the test for him?” the man poses the question that had run through my head many times. They had attacked Youngjae’s parents, and his siblings, I could be someone they target. “Who is doing this?” I ask. There had never been any confirmation as to who was targeting Youngjae. I had always suspected it had something to do with his biological parents, a revenge plot to get back at the younger generation.

“Your days are numbered while being with Youngjae” the man ignores my question to deliver this spine chilling warning. His dark brown eyes sear deep inside of me, in one move the man could end my life if he wanted to and I was mightily aware of that.

“Shouldn’t you just run away, leave him to fight his own battles?” the man asks a question that I had asked several times, the doubting part of my being. When I was doubting whether being with Youngjae was worth it, when I was scared of the world that he was involved in. It was very rare I ever had these thought, but each time the answer had always been the same and would remain.

“No” the answer weakly leaves my lips, causing the drainer to roar with laughter. He didn’t look liked he believed me, I guess I wasn’t very believable. He stares at me, his glare piercing me inside, but I don’t look away either. I face him down, until his attention is taken away by something. Looking behind me, the man’s expression changes to a mixture of disgust and amusement.

“Looks like we attracted the attention of a mutt” I don’t turn around, not when around this man. But I suspect there were wolves nearby, and this didn’t seem to sit well with the drainer. “It was a good chat we had” the man says ruffling my hair fondly, before swiftly rushing away from the scene.

As soon as he leaves, he is followed by Hoseok's entrance. The man had burst into wolf form but I definitely recognised him, the wolf growls after the escaped drainer. It looks like he had only just missed the other man, there was a sense of frustration in body language that was easy to sense.

“Are you okay?” the man asks as he bursts into human form. He seemed to have sensed something wrong the second he let me go ahead, and he had come rushing after me just in time to see Junhoe. Hoseok had probably scared off the other man, but it felt like that wasn’t the last of the man that I would see. Despite this, I was certain that I would stay with Youngjae even if I died in the process

A concerned Hoseok decides to escort the rest of the way home, but as we do, we spot Changkyun’s daughter Im Jieun and co-worker Seo Sung Kyung’s daughter Kang Sora in a hidden alleyway making out. To my surprise Hoseok looks completely unfazed, he seemed to have already known. “How long have you known?” I ask the elder, realising he really did know everything concerning the people around him.

“Probably the first time I saw them together” the man explains the he recognises the look a wolf has on the person that they have imprinted on. “it’s complete and utter love, lust, commitment all rolled into one” the man says that it was the same with Hyojin and Changkyun even though they had tried so hard and for so long to deny it.

“It was the same with Bobby and the blonde devil too!” Hoseok announces casually, skipping past this sudden announcement. I hadn’t known this fact, that Hayi had imprinted on Bobby. Life must have been hard for him, to have been in love and destined for Hayi, but for her to be in love with his best friend. He never seemed to lash out which seemed to those around him, he handled the unrequited feelings well.

Park Junghwa runs through my head when I think about this, she and Youngjae had more going for them than was on the surface. It wasn’t just Noah who kept them close, there was the imprint that had made them pretty close. But Youngjae was with me and he loved me and Junghwa seemed to be backing off to allow Youngjae and I to be together, there was no threat.

Later that evening Youngjae returns, he apologises for rushing off this morning. The man seemed unaware about my run in with Goo Junhoe, I had instructed Hoseok to leave those events between us and it seemed that he had kept to his word. “I’m sorry it’s just after yesterday, I just needed some time to myself, all of this is getting on top of me” the man admits that he hadn’t heard from his mother or Junhyuk.

The pair who were still having the hardest time dealing with Choi Woobin’s death had blamed it all on drainers as a race, and now they were having to come to terms with the fact that the youngest of the Chois was a drainer. “This is as bad as when I came out” Youngjae says as he leans his head onto my lap, the man pouts a little.

“What if they never get over it?” Youngjae asks what if his mother and sibling cut themselves off from him. “You’ll have me” it was the truth, Youngjae would always have me. Slowly a smile spreads across the man’s face, he sits up and delivers a kiss to my lips. It was a soft, gentle and meaningful kind of kiss, it makes my heart truly flutter.

“I have to go to Seoul” Youngjae announces that as soon as tomorrow morning, he would be heading to the big city that we had once lived in. According to Hyerin, they needed to be in Seoul to meet a stronger fair who would be able to help him unlock his powers. He says that he would be gone for a few days, and without hesitation, I invite myself along.

Honestly I just wanted to be around the man, I wanted to stay close to him. So I use the excuse of needing to go to Seoul for work, there were many interview prospects that I had been putting off but it would be perfect if we went together. Youngjae seems a bit reluctant but agrees to take me along with him.

The next day after an early start and a long train journey to Seoul, we finally get to the big city in the afternoon. We would be joined by Hyerin later on, Youngjae would head off to the meet the woman and be introduced to another fair. Meanwhile I would stay in the hotel until I got an escort to take me to and from my interviews.

Youngjae insists on forcing the escort on me. He suggests that maybe I should go back to Mokpo if I was so against the escort. “Things are so dangerous” the man tries to plead for me to leave. “I don't want to go” I stubbornly counter. “I can't trust you to walk around Seoul without anyone looking after you and I'm busy” the man pleads. “I'm busy too, I have work” I impatiently interrupt him, I was going to be stubborn. There was no way that I would let Youngjae force me back to Mokpo and play sitting duck, so I would be staying here and getting some business done.

“You can do that later”, Youngjae tries to plead, but he gets me riled up and irritated. “So what? I'm supposed to put my life on pause because you're paranoid about me getting hurt?” I was definitely losing the patience I had built up after so long.

“That's not what I'm saying” Youngjae softly speaks, trying to calm me down. “Then what are you saying?” I confront the younger, I don’t know why I was like this, was I being unreasonable? Youngjae gets frustrated and as he had been doing a lot recently, he was walking away from me without a word, he leaves with a bag and his phone.

Jackson will be here to pick you up, YJ. 

Youngjae leaves a text message minutes later and doesn’t further contact me much after that. I burn up a little at this thought, the fact that he was pushing me away and being so childish like this.

In the early evening, I leave the hotel with the escort of Jackson. On the way to interview, Jackson and I get to talking. It had been a couple of years since we had last seen each other face to face, although we did call and email each other often enough to be still considered close.

The man was coming with me, despite having a day off from work he was coming with me due to a favour asked by Youngjae. “Wouldn’t you prefer to be around your wife and kid?” I asked the man. “My wife nags and my kid cries too much” the man counters jokingly. “I like following celebrities around” he jokes and teases.

“The pretty boy foreigner who draws feminist icon characters” the man claims that the web toon had become very popular in the precinct amongst the female employees.

“That lead girl, Kim-Kim; she kind of reminds me of Suji, a total bad ass. Only she's an alien and not a drainer”. Jackson admits that he had read through some of the chapters of the toon and had been impressed with it. He congratulates me on my success, and once he’s done begging me to add him into the story, we get to chatting about Youngjae.

“You know it's not because he thinks you're weak, it's because he's scared that he's not strong enough” Jackson seemed to have sensed the tension in me as I talked about Youngjae. “I mean his dad is dead and that was because he was too weak, he wants to take these people down but they're not normal” the man explains. These are all things that I had thought of too.

“They’re ruthless. They will kill you if they think Youngjae isn't taking them seriously” the elder warns. “Why are you so sure that those people will come for me” I ask despite having a clear idea why. “Because you are it for him, you are the most important person in his life” Jackson’s words set my heart aflutter, was I really that important?

“I could be replaced” I try to argue this point. “Doubtful” the other man counters. “You replaced Jia” I stubbornly reply and its only once the words leave my mouth that I realise how mean it sounded. “Sorry” I meekly apologise. “No you're right. I did” the man easily admits.

“For so long I suffered, hurt and upset with my loss that I looked for someone to just heal me and my pain” Jackson hooks his arm with mine and strolls with me through the studio building. “I didn't expect it to be Fei” Jackson explains that even though she has a very checkered past, she has put so many people in the line of harm.

“Sure there are times I know she’s lying to me. But I love her and our child” Jackson admits. I can’t help but bring up the fact that Jia was alive, the man nods his head in agreement. Jackson who had been in Mokpo months ago for a brief time, admits he had heard this through Jinyoung and he had struggled to come to terms to the fact that she was alive and it appeared that she was on the side of the enemies.

Jackson admits that she was someone she still loved. “Sometimes it happens, loving two people” he explains that he was having this dilemma.” Just like how you loved Youngjae and Suji and Min at the same time” the man tries to reason with me.

“It was always clear that I loved Youngjae more” I defend myself despite the fact that Jackson wasn’t really wasn’t making an accusation. It was true though, I had never hidden the fact that Youngjae was the person that I loved the most, and that I was waiting to be with him in the end.

“Right this is true. You were always brutally honest” the man agrees. He claims that maybe that has been my saving grace. No one could blame me for anything, not when you have been honest throughout.

“How about you, which do you love more? The woman who died? Or the wife and mother?” I ask the man. “Isn't that a harsh question to ask?” the man says with a nudge of disapproval. “I guess it's Jia” I tease the other a little. “Why do you assume that?” the man asks with a smirk on his face.

“Cause if it was the baby mother, you would have answered with that” I simply reason. Jackson frowns at this perceptive. “Wait, unless it is her. It's Wang FeiFei?” I read his expression.

Now that he knew that Jia was alive the man must feel guilty about it. That he had fell for their joint enemy. “You’re not very sensitive are you?” the man nudges me much harder this time. “Towards people that aren't Choi Youngjae? No” I honestly express much to Jackson’s amusement. The man lets out his trade mark dolphin laugh.

“Then why can't you understand that Youngjae is worried about you?” the man brings up as we wait outside of the studio. I can understand but I wouldn’t stop living my life just to please Youngjae, there needed to be a bit of trust on my behalf. With my guards and me not backing down, Jackson drops the topic and we start having shallow conversations.

Later that night I am sat in the middle of filmed television interview, it was for a national television network. Just a short fluff and feature piece done by a warm and friendly looking older woman. With a charming personality, she manages to disarm me and get me talking to her.

The questions start off very simple, from long have I lived in Korea, when did I start drawing, when did I decide to publish the toon online? To how was I reacting to the response. Have I met the person who had promoted me? All very shallow and simply answered questions.

More questions continue but they get a little bit more personal. What did I do in my spare time? What’s my ideal type, am I dating someone. Yes. I admit the truth, although we weren’t official yet, Youngjae and I could be considered as dating. “How long for?” the excited woman pushes. “Not long but we've known each other since high school. But now we're finally trying things out” for some reason I was being incredibly open with this woman.

“Are things going well?” the woman pushes just a little bit more. “Yes he is just someone that worries a lot about me” I confess with a chuckle. Even though we had left things a little frostily before, I still loved Youngjae and I know that we would make it up together. “Is he the handsome man with you today?” the eagle eyed woman tries to put some links together, she points towards Jackson putting two and two together.

The camera points to Jackson and the production staff start to flutter over the man who was watching from the sidelines. “No that's just a friend” I try to excuse but the woman doesn’t buy my excuse. “Your boyfriend?” she teases, getting laughs from the production staff. “He's married” the woman seems to understand and give up when I reveal this, but blowing a kiss my way Jackson pokes fun at the situation.

As we head out interviewer asks for my number, she her charming approach now becomes seductive once the cameras are around. Cutting in the conversation, Jackson declines the woman’s advances on my behalf gaining an amused chuckle from the older woman.

“See I knew he was your boyfriend” the woman says with a cheeky wink and chuckle before heading out. Jackson mutters disapprovingly of the shameless woman and how she wouldn’t be ending Markjae that easily.

As we leave the studio building, we are met by a crowd of fans squeal holding posters with my web toon’s characters and also with my face on. Surprised by this sudden showing of fans and this adoration, I start off by trying to greet those that turn up, but slowly but surely the crowd grew bigger and bigger and became more dangerous.

Sensing that, Jackson reaches for my hand and pulls me through the crowd and down the street. The pair of us are chased by fans, as we try to flag down a taxi none are stopping. So for a while we are chased, until finally cornered by a group of people. They didn’t look like the younger fans that we had seen before, they were tall, big and menacing.

Jackson tenses up, the man stands in front of me trying to guard me. The drainers approach us slowly; the men approach us. “It looks like we found you pretty boy!” the teeth gleam in the light, I feel a little frightened. Who were these people? What did they want with me?

As the drainers lunge at us, they stop some yards in front of us. Jackson had some TRNQ sticks ready to fight some of them off. But the drainers are frozen already, before suddenly from behind them there is something put around the neck of the drainers by two people. As soon as those things which look like rosemary are around the drainer’s necks, there is a pain and yelling from those drainers until they are unconscious.

Once those drainers are taken care of, our saviours approach us and greet the both of. They were bishop Seo Inguk and priest Kang Daewon. The men had happened be around and sensed some trouble. The handsome bishop calls a mysterious number instructing someone to pick up the drainers and clean them up. It was very obvious that this wasn’t the first time that these men had come across drainers and they had managed to do it without making such a bloody mess.

Once everything is done, the four of us head over their church which was nearby. The church was small and modest church, apparently it was one that Jackson seemed to recognise the hospital. Over some tea, we discuss their fighting style, how they had defeated the drainers.

They were trained by the church with non-lethal fighting styles, they hadn’t killed the drainers earlier. They had just made them unconscious for a longer time, by the time their younger apprentices came to the scene of the drainers, they would be able to take them to the local vampire council without much fuss or danger. The church had different practices.

“There was more to the church than the cute stories told” the handsome Seo Inguk comments, he had a cool and cheekiness to him. “Stories?” Jackson asks a little surprised to hear the church official speaking that way. “Yes. They aren't all real, they can't all be real” the more reserves Daewon speaks up. “But then again a lot of the stuff that does happen and we have seen is very realistic” Inguk adds with a chuckle.

“Rivers parting and coming back from the dead. Those are a little at fetched” Daewon the man of cloth says with a completely serious expression. Jackson who up until this point had been a little quiet, finally recognises Daewon from the church that Jinyoung once used to be in charge of. It turns out that Daewon had taken over Jinyoung once he had left.

“We can't kill, as fairs it's almost impossible to”, Daewon reveals that he and Inguk fight against drainers, with the powers and the traditions that they know of. “Our powers are meant for healing and protection and in most cases that's what we use them for” Daewon continues on and elaborates.

“In other cases?” I ask curiously, I had heard about some of this from Hoseok, but I did want to hear more. “Well there have been fairs who haven't been taught our ways, who haven't known that their powers are not instruments of evil” could that be what these people want from Youngjae? They want to use him for his powers?

“They have been vulnerable and manipulated, or they have been forced to protect those around them with brutal force” Inguk says at he looks directly at me, as if he was knowing. “Just like with Youngjae” Daewon comments.

The pair reveal that they were expecting to see Youngjae later on and to try and help him, but at the moment he was meeting with Hyerin and another fair. The pair confess that they knew about his mother, that she was a fair, and she struck up a relationship with a dangerous vampire.

“As a mixed blood, his powers are bound to be stronger” Inguk explains, but with no one to teach him how to use them, they've lain dormant in him all this time. Spending time with Hyerin is necessary. She will help unlock those powers so that Youngjae can protect what's important to him. That's you, and his family. This wins some complaints from me.

“I'm not some weakling who needs constant protection” I protest. “You are a weakling” Daewon counters coldly. “You are Youngjae’s weakness, he will fail if you are put yourself in danger” the man argues something that I have heard time and time again. “So what am I supposed to do? To stop living my life?” I ask frustrated.

“No. but be more understanding. Try and understand where Youngjae is coming from and try to be more careful” Inguk says pushing my forehead backwards. “Stay by his side and help make him the man we all know that he is capable of being” Inguk tries to encourage me.

Later on once we’ve been given the once over, Jackson escorts me back to the hotel. On the way home, we stop at a nearby drinks tent and trying to take in all the information that was passed onto us by Inguk and Daewon.

Whilst drinking and eating, Jackson confesses. He admits that it is Fei that he loves. Even before she had his child, his feelings surfaced and left me with no option. “She had always been someone who was beautiful to me. She was breath taking, but that wasn’t something I could see behind her cold façade”. After time, she slowly dropped down her icy exterior. It took time, but eventually Jackson fell for her.

“I found a love of mine that I never want to lose. So now every day as I step out of the house, I worry about my wife and child”. Jackson admits that he is tense and always on high alert. He had arrested and put away dangerous criminals. He didn’t want to put the life of the people around him in danger.

“When Youngjae’s dad died, don’t you think he still holds himself responsible?” the man now who was a very tipsy slurs the question at me. “But he’s not” I defend, Youngjae hadn’t started this. He had nothing to do with the evil crook who was targeting him.

“That’s not true. Choi Youngjae is more than what you think he is” Jackson explains that Youngjae is not simply the good looking boy that I knew him to be. “He’s not just the Youngjae that you know him as. He is in the center of something complicated” I internally frown at this reality. “Something deadly and sure, he’s not at fault but he still part of it. You are part of it” Jackson explains that Youngjae had only has two options.

“He can either push you away the he has always done, or he can get stronger for you and be overprotective “I didn’t like the sound of either option. I didn’t like to be the weakling; I did not want to be a burden on Youngjae. I wanted to stand tall and stay by Youngjae’s side. 

“There’s no middle ground” the man explains. “Being more careful isn’t going to hurt anyone it’ll be a bit annoying for now” the man gives me two options. “You can leave now and have all the freedom you want, or you can be with Youngjae and give up a little bit of your freedom briefly while your boyfriend faces pretty much the worst enemy we have gone up against” once again, neither option seemed good for me.

“I have no choice do I?” I ask the elder. “Nope” the man says with a giggle, before leaning his head onto the table. Jackson was a little tipsy, so I decide I take him home in a taxi.

Sat in the back of the taxi, I hold the man in his arms listening to his drunken and hyper ramblings. As we continue the journey, I notice that the taxi driver doesn’t take us to our destination. Instead the driver in front silently ignores me. Soon the doors and windows are locked and I Feel myself panic. There was a divide between the man and I, so I wasn’t able to stop him even if I wanted him to.

The driver keeps us both locked in and drives us to a location which becomes familiar only when we drive towards it. It was the mansion, the old haunt that we used to visit so many times in the past. I hadn’t been in this place in such a long time, the last time I had been here was almost half a decade ago, when I had seduced Lee Minyoung away from her guards.

When the man parks the car at the mansion, the group of a dozen men surround the car and force us out of the car. The group lead us into the mansion. Coming round to be a bit soberer Jackson is held back. The man struggles out of the grips of the drainers. Whilst I am forced inside of the mansion and carried out into the back office.

“Yien Tuan. You’re the person closest to Choi Youngjae right?” I am immediately greeted by a handsome taller and thicker older man. He looked familiar but I couldn’t put my finger as to where I recognised him from.

“What do you want from me?” I was disapproving and on my guard. The door was closed behind me, leaving the pair of u alone. “I want to know, are you someone I can use?” the man openly reveals. “I’m not someone you can use” I counter defensively. “No? hmmm interesting” the man says casually with a grin on his face, his demeanor reminds me of Goo Junhoe. Slightly threatening, but still calm and composed.

“What is your problem with Youngjae?” I ask the male, still with my guard up. “Hmmmn could it be that he is the reason that my precious bottom Jaebum is dead?” my heart drops. “He drove my little lover so crazy for him, and in the end he wasn’t thinking. He was so foolish and he had got himself killed” my heart thumps, my brain runs at a mile a minute trying to think.

“My poor Jaebum” stunned at those words, it had been a while since I had heard of the man. He was a criminal, who had kidnapped Youngjae and stabbed him. To me it was Good riddance to trash, something that I seem to think out loud to the amusement of the other man.

“You’re very bold” the other man says with a chuckle. “I’m just honest” I retort, despite essentially being scared of the man. “It’s good that I agree with you” the man says with a smile; he didn’t seem torn up about the death of his former lover. But still I could sense that he didn’t like Youngjae.

“Hmmmn, it’s not that I don’t like him. It’s just that I’m jealous” the man describes a sense of jealousy that with two brothers that he cherished seemed obsessed with Youngjae. Brothers? My brain once again goes whizzing, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

“The uncle who had no idea he was incestuously obsessed with his own half nephew” the man delivers this line with a grin. Shocked, I watch the man. If he meant what he was saying, then Im Jaebum was Youngjae’s uncle. Jaebum was related to Youngjae’s supposed father. Did Youngjae know this or was I going to have to break it to him?

It was gross to think about that they had that familial bond, but there had been romantic and sexual happenings between the two of them. When I think back to the deceased man, I remember that I had always disliked and distrusted Jaebum. The man was too smooth, confident and slimy for Youngjae. He had no natural charm, he didn’t seem very genuine.

From the beginning I could see through him. I had only assumed that the other man was just a player. He was someone who wanted Youngjae sexually and I assumed once he got what he wanted, then he would leave. But with Jinyoung’s arrival into Youngjae’s life, that was thrown off. Youngjae went running to Jinyoung who happened to be Jaebum’s ex, and soon after Jaebum became very quickly obsessed with the younger.

Jaebum had falsely kept up the illusion of a friendship and Youngjae naively took the man’s word for it. He trusted the man he was briefly close to, that was until he was kidnapped and it was revealed that not only did Jaebum rape Jinyoung, but he had also raped and turned Suji.

His reign of terror had been ended eventually when he had taken on more enemies than he could handle. He was far too cocky and foolish with his actions, he had underestimated his enemies and in the end Youngjae and those who had come to save him had survived. I had been one of those people, back then I had felt like a supporting character.

Not even worthy of a place on the main credits. I had to stay away from Youngjae and let Jinyoung support him. I had put as much distance as I could between the two of us. So around that time I put as much focus as I could on my relationship with Min and Suji.

So much time had passed and now Youngjae and I found ourselves at this point. He was in the middle of all this drama and by being with him, I would be part of it too. I was in it now. The former lover of my boyfriend’s fling, had kidnapped me to have this conversation and even more.

“Choi Youngjae is quite special isn’t he? He is a child of one of the strongest, intelligent and charming men that ever lived” the man casually comments. Irritated I wonder what he wanted with Youngjae? The man reveals that his biological father wanted Youngjae to kill him.

Why? Why would the man who had avoided his responsibilities as a father, who had left his child in the hands of the mother? That mother who had then left her child with her brother, why would he want anything to do with Youngjae? Why was Youngjae so important.

“Youngjae is the chosen one” the man simply expresses. Before I can any further questions, I suddenly hear a loud banging noise. The man doesn’t take his eyes off of me, instead he simply smiles amused by it.

“Ah he’s finally here” who was it? How did he even know who it could it be? “Your boyfriend is here for you” the man announces. “Youngjae was here? He got here pretty quickly, I guess you must matter the most to him” the man almost congratulates me.

“Are you going to hurt Youngjae” after all, why else would he have gone through all of this. “No. I just wanted to see if he was strong enough” the man comments and he seemed honest. “Why are do you want to know this?” I ask the man a question that had been bugging me. “I want to report something back to hyung” the man seemed so open about his opinion.

Once again before I can ask him a question, there is a loud banging and the front door is knocked down. When the door knocks through, the door falls to the floor. In the doorway was Youngjae and behind him was Jackson and Seo Hyerin. Youngjae is the first to enter, as he rushes towards me.

“Hyung are you okay?” the man doesn’t take notice of Chansung, his eyes were focused on me. He looked so worried and concerned. Meanwhile Hyerin and Jackson stand in front of us, working as a shield.

“Whoa, that damage doesn’t look good. Should I send you my bill?” the stranger says with a chuckle. “For kidnapping my boyfriend and friend, we’ll call it even”, Youngjae dismisses the man before reaching for my shoulder and leading me away.

“Are you okay?” The man checks up on me, leading me away. The man in the back chuckles before calling out for Youngjae. “Fight hard and fight well Im Youngjae”, the man calls out. Youngjae suddenly freeze in his steps, the look in his face is something I can read easily. He looks disgusted, and I didn’t blame him. He had only known one father, that father had died and it seemed he had been killed as a move to goad Youngjae.

Behind all of these actions, all these attacks on Youngjae and his family were from his biological father. Reaching for his hand, I plead for him to take me back to the hotel. I wanted Youngjae to focus on me, so he wouldn’t have to think of anyone else. Youngjae nods his head as he reaches to stroke through my hair before leading me out.

When we get to the hotel Youngjae reveals that he had received a call from Hwang Chansung. He had rushed over with Hyerin and he seemed in his rush and panic, he had been able to use his powers in the way he had wanted. When we had walked through the mansion. I had seen quite a lot of casualties; it surprises me to know that it was Youngjae who had taken on so many enemies by himself. He had definitely grown stronger.

There is a silence between us as we head inside of the hotel, and before I can speak up to him Youngjae delivers a soft and sweet kiss, whilst his hand slides down my waist pulling me closer. Although I had some things that I wanted to discuss with him, instead of pushing him and running away, I, I let him do it. I kiss the younger, my hands sliding around his shoulders.

Despite the tension I could feel in Youngjae’s body, the kiss itself is soft and perfect kiss, I can’t pull away from him. My body just melts into him. I was weak for him, when I should be using my brain and intuition to question the other man, here I was like a puddle in his arms.

Youngjae’s hands make their way down my past my waist band of my trousers and boxer shorts. He reaches to grip my cock. I let out a moan, sensitive to his touch. I lean in to kiss him, capturing his lip I part his lips using mine and slip my tongue inside of his mouth.

Youngjae squeezes the base of my cock, before sliding his hand up and down the length of my cock. He turns and rotates his motion until I get hard under his touch. The younger undoes the zip of my trousers and pulls them down along with my boxers until they are around my ankles.

The feel of the air greets my lower half, it’s welcome because it invited more of Youngjae’s touch. Youngjae’s returns his hands to my lower half, he was groping and caressing freely. He cups and feels my ass turning me on, I roll my hips his way and groan before pulling away and watching him.

I slowly get down on my knees in front of him, I look up to see Youngjae’s face. Undoing his trousers, as he had done with me I pull them down along with his boxers until leaving him bare. The man steps out of his boxers and trousers, as do I. Before I reach for his cock and stroke his length squeezing the tip which elicits a moan that is music to my ears.

Spurred on by his reaction I keep going, I stroke back and forth turning my wrist, before leaning in to lick the tip. I swirl my tongue around his cock causing him to moan loud. His moans encourage me to keep going, I lick and start to suck on the tip.

Opening up wider I take him deeper down my throat, as I do it seems it gets the kind of reaction I wanted. Youngjae doesn’t hold back, he moans out loud, his hands slide to the back of my head. I keep bopping my head letting more of him past my lips, I keep going, pushing myself harder licking and sucking his cock.

Youngjae calls out my name whilst stroking through my hair, I take it as a god sign and keep going. Until I feel the younger tap me on the head, “hyung I don’t know how long I’ll last” I knew what he meant. So standing up, I go to my travel bag and get what we needed.

I had some lube which would make this less painful and more pleasurable, when I turn around I see that Youngjae had fully undressed. So taking his lead, I strip down till I’m completely naked .

Youngjae walks over to me, he kisses me passionately taking the lube from my hand. He reaches for my waist and leads me over to the edge of the bed, the man instructs me to get on my knees, which I do without thinking.

Kneeling down behind me, I feel his hands travel to my ass, he separates my cheeks and uses his slicked finger to find the pucker. I moan in response reaching down to stroke my cock, to relief myself. I was already leaking with precum, and I was ready to be taken. Youngjae continues to push into opening, he slowly begins to poke and open me up.

I grip on tightly to the bed in front of me as he pokes and prods before eventually pushing the first finger inside of me. He pumps the finger inside of me, and again slips in another finger to pump inside of me, I rock my hips back and forth to meet the rhythm of it all, and feel him brush close to the right place.

Youngjae He keeps his eyes on me before leaning into kiss me softly and gently on the lips before reaching for my shoulder and turning me to face the bed. Leaning on the cushion of the bed, I turn to watch Youngjae and see what he was doing. My pulse starts to pick up, I can already hear my heart racing out control.

After a little while waiting, I feel Youngjae’s weight and warm on me, it was so fucking good to feel him on top of me. He kisses me softly down my neck before reaching for my ass once again, I moan in response. No one did it better than Youngjae, the man knew all the little things that worked for me.

Neck crooked around, I watch as his grabs himself and guides himself inside of me. I’m longsuffering and wait for him until he’s fully inside of me and filled me up. It burns a little but the pain is quickly replaced by pleasure, I adjust to his size and wait as his thrusts start off slow and unsure.

My attempt to bite back a moan fails miserably, to the point that I have to give up and just let it out. I whine louder and louder in reaction as he rolls his hips into me. I can feel him inside of me, filling me up more. It was so hot and only continues to get hotter. I push back into Young he meets with me and we create our own rhythm.

Minutes pass between the two of us and instead of talking, all that can be heard is moaning and the slapping of skin. Youngjae thrusts into me harder and harder becoming more comfortable inside of me. 

There are plenty kisses and tender touches of affection. There is an intense and shared gaze which drives me crazy. I reach down under and start to stroke my cock, I squeeze and roll my thumb at the base before I move on to stroking my cock. I could feel myself getting closer and was searching for relief, I had to let it all out and quick.

It was coming soon so as I roll my hips back onto Youngjae’s cock enjoying the friction, whilst pumping my own cock. Youngjae’s s hands rest at my back, he pushes my body onto the bed before continuing to slam fast into me.

After a couple minutes of thrusting inside of me, the warm feeling washes over, it turns my knees to jelly as I come out into my hand. This is quickly washed away and down the drain but that’s not my focus. Youngjae wasn’t done yet, he was still rocking inside of me.

Youngjae continues to thrust rut hard inside of me. I spasm fresh from my orgasm but I lean my head onto the bed looking back at Youngjae and let him thrust into me. The man suddenly groans loudly as he comes inside of me, before flopping on top of me. I catch the younger and put him on the floor to briefly catch his breath from the work out.

As we settle down for the night, Youngjae confesses that he was tired. Not from the mind-blowing sex, but mentally he was tired. He was trying to tap into his powers but the results were inconsistent. They were leaving so many doubts on his part, he was doubting himself and his ability to protect his family. Back at home he had Changkyun’s help to protect his family, but he was desperate to get stronger, to be someone who I could rely on.

“Hyung, I love you so much” the words set my heart aflutter. Returning the sentiment, I tell the other man that I loved him too. Before delivering a soft and sincere kiss on my lips, he presses his lips back onto mine to return his feelings. Cupping my face Youngjae pulls me into a deeper kiss that leaves me short of breath.

“Even though I’m scared and I don’t want you to get hurt because of me. I won’t push you away. I will keep you close. I will protect you and hurt anyone that gets in my way” Youngjae confesses to me. I wrap my arms around his shoulders pulling Youngjae closely. “You’ll get stronger” I encourage the man, but he seems to tense up.

“Hyung, I'm sorry” his voice sounds shaky really alerting me. “What for? “I ask the younger man concerned. “I think I got Junghwa pregnant” those words sear through me like a bullet. What? “I know about Noah…” I pull away and I try to reason with Youngjae. But the look in Youngjae’s face, it tells me that he had more to feel guilty about. “I'm sorry…” the man repeats with tears flooding down his face. Just like I know it, things were broken between the two of us.


	16. ...Unravelling

Youngjae’s POV

 

There was nothing like a home cooked meal to calm a person down. Everything ached, everything had been aching recently. Bruises and broken bones were being healed on a more regular basis. I was pushing my body more and more, and my mind and soul seemed to be getting disturbed.

Something as simple as being forced to sit down with my mother for a home cooked breakfast, seemed to do its little bit of healing for me. It had been a while since my mother had sat down and cooked something for me. It had been so long since the elder woman been inspired enough to cook for herself let alone anyone else. Today seemed to be the day that had given my mother her spark of energy, she looked a little alive.

 

Months after the death of her husband and her traumatic attack, it seemed that my mother was taking her first steps towards healing. She was no longer walking in zombie mode, looking displaced from this world. She didn’t look so gaunt and pale, there was a rosiness to her cheeks and a sparkle in her eyes was back. She looked so happy.

The woman had remained in my apartment still, months after the attack. She hadn’t returned to the old home, if she wanted something from the old house. My siblings and I would go to our childhood home and get whatever it was my mother requested of us.

Despite taking the steps forward to tell the police what had happened during her attack, and who had been the culprit and just any clues she had. According to Jinyoung, my mother had been really helpful and had given the case its first lead in a long time. So they were trying to search for and find Goo Junhoe, and through him they hoped to find Im Chang Jung and those who were part of his network, Jia included.

Patience was key with the woman, but since our drainer revelation dinner. The woman and I had eventually made up, she had apologised for her reaction and assured me that her love for me was not going to change. She admits that although it was going to take some getting used to, she would accept me. The woman wouldn’t let time pass like it had before where she was separated from me due to her stubborn pride.

The woman was being very supportive, she was doing all she could to take care of me. We were both supporting each other in this tough time, and I was grateful for her especially after my return from Seoul. After my sudden break up with Yien, the woman had been able to comfort me when I was down in the dumps about it all.

Since my confession to Yien about Junghwa, the other man and I hadn’t spoken. Yien had heard me out whilst I explained that I had run into Junghwa during a haze of hers, and I had ended up sleeping with her. I had ended getting her pregnant and now she was almost three months pregnant with my second child, this was all a lot. So much so that Yien stormed out of our shared room and returned to Mokpo without me.

On my return I had tried to reach the man, but still I was struggling to get through to him. So I was trying to be patient, and let the man take this all in and when he was ready, we could speak to each other. I had been staying at my apartment in the meantime, although admittedly I was having some a hard time with it all. But I was putting my focus on growing stronger.

Over the deliciously prepared breakfast, my mother sits down to talk to me. She discusses her desire to sell the house she hadn’t been to in so long. The woman explains that she wouldn’t be returning to the old home and living there again. So she would rather just sell it and move on. She was thinking of buying a small apartment in the centre of town, that would keep her close to all of her children. It was all something that she seemed to have given quite some deep thought into that decision so I would support her.

Once I am done with my lunch, I head over to the local church. At the back of St. Patrick’s church, there was a large graveyard that was over a hundred years old. It was a dark, dank and depressing place to be. But it was the only place I could be close to the man that had raised me. Nowadays if I wanted to speak to my father, I would have to go to his favourite church when he had chosen he would be buried.

His black, cut and sleek tombstone read: “To the ultimate father, grandfather and husband, you will be missed” short and sweet and it was what spoke so many words. It showed that the man’s life had done enough in his life to leave a good impression on his friends and family. He was well loved and thoroughly missed. I know every day that I woke up, I would think about the man who had raised me.

My thoughts had calmed down, the sorrow was no longer as intense and the warm thoughts were coming through. I was remembering all the good times that I did have with the man, thinking of all the best of times. I was remembering the kind of man and influence that the man had over me. The kind of man he had helped me become, the influence he had small things. The taste in foods, or drinks, to the kind of friends or relationships I tended to make. The loyalties I had forged over the years, it all started from having a father like himself, someone who more open than I had remembered to be.

Despite the time we had bumped heads over my sexuality, the man still had been open to me and taught me to be as such. To not judge someone by their gender or race, to be humble and never think of myself as more than I am. To have humility for those around you. The man had taught me that If I carried myself in such a manner, then I would be able to forge life long bonds and would never struggle for a friend. Turns out his was right.

Now that things were starting to feeling difficult for me, I would sometimes come to his grave side and talk things out with him. I would tell him all my deepest and darkest feelings, and the emotions I struggled with. Sometimes it worked, going to see the man and just being able to let it out. But there were other times where, I just needed an answer from the man, but couldn’t get it. Those were when it became painfully obvious that the man wasn’t coming back, that he was really gone.

This morning, I spoke to my father about my mother. For some reason I felt it right to update the man on what was happening. I tell the man that mother was planning on selling the house, and I was supporting her in that decision. I knew that the man would support whatever my mother felt like doing, whatever would help her get some sort of closure and move on with her life. It was time she gained some peace for herself, soon I would make sure to find and stop the person who had put all of this into motion.

Later that day as I make my way through the town, I bump into Jinyoung who looked to be quite busy. He was on his way out of town, the man reveals that with the help of Hoseok. He had managed to track down Do Kyungsoo, he would be going with Hoseok to the place he would not disclose and he would try and bring the man back.

Jinyoung is insistent that the man was a key in taking down our enemy, and so he would be rushing out and abroad to look for the man. As we talk, I could tell that the man was very excitable. As we talked I could see that the man was agitated about something, his phone goes off and he stealthily tries to check a text that had been sent to him. A smile forms on his face and there is a spark on his face, and I can recognise the look.

The man fondly ruffles through my hair fondly, before excusing himself. Our encounter is another reminder that the pair of us had moved on, that we were surely over each other and our paths had crossed sand moved onto something new and different. It didn’t hurt anymore to think about, if anything I just wished the elder all the luck in the world. I had way too much to worry about, Jinyoung wasn’t it anymore.

That afternoon I meet up with Hyerin, at her home. The woman lived in a small bungalow in the outskirts of town. The short, cute and petite woman was wearing all black. Black jeggings paired with a pair of black vans. A black top, and leather jacket. Topped off with a black Woolley hat and custom made black face mask.

While there I keep my expression calm and make sure not to tell her about the search for her husband. I had protected myself by using my powers, I had not longer ago instructed the woman not to read my thoughts ever again. She wasn’t allowed to get into my head unless I said so and for the last few weeks, I hadn’t allowed her to.

This was my first time that I had made such a bold move. It was the first bit of progress that I had shown as a fair, it was the first time that I believed that I could even become stronger. The smaller woman over time had helped me get better and better, I was no longer the awkward who could barely control their own powers.

After so long of avoiding the elder, I had finally approached Hyerin. I didn’t know what our connection or bond would be about, but from I had gauged from Changkyun, she would be someone who could help me out. There was something that others knew about me, there was something about me and what I was capable of that no one had told me. They had all left that up to Hyerin, who I had finally approached following the aftermath of the death of my father and all that had happened into my parent’s home.

When things got real and too serious, she was the person I approached was the small and powerful fair. She worked in the day as a lawyer, but at night she was working to protect her people from the pension nearby. She was living pretty much under the radar otherwise, she tried to put across a very normal front to the rest of the world. But there was something else, there was a darkness that I could sort of see.

For the last few months, the woman had been by my side. Teaching me about my powers, about how powerful I could be and she tried to lead me towards unlocking all of my potential. It wasn’t an easy road at all. I had started out completely confused by it all. The whole concept of magical powers flowing through me, it was a struggle to come round to it.

Through my biological mother, I had the powers of a fair. I was part fair, and despite the fact I was only a part, I was still considered a strong fair. According to Hyerin, it was because of the blood line that I had come from. That Im Chang Jung was such a strong person, that his blood flowing through me somehow made me a stronger person. It was a fact or thought that I didn’t enjoy having.

After many years of adjusting to being a drainer, trying to use my fair powers was becoming such a struggle. If being a drainer was all about using my cunning and strength for attack or defense. Sometimes those powers lead to hard hits or even to fatalities. With my powers as a drainer, they were dependant on the feeling, emotional and the mind.

There was no brutal force behind this, it was all about using your mind to control the elements around you. It meant that I had to focus on the energy in the air to manipulate it, and to work it in a way that could translate it into my powers. I was a mind and body manipulator, it was one of the few fair powers that could be used as a form of attack, but was often just as a defensive power. After all, fairs were not meant to kill, they were healers.

The journey of discovering my powers, and what I was able to do was a stressful journey. But with Hyerin by my side, I was slowly taking the steps towards my full potential. According to the mind healing fair, I had the potential to be much stronger than what I had shown her thus far. She also reveals that I had a power she had only ever seen in her life before once in her life time, that was how rare they were.

Hyerin claims that when she was much younger, she had come across those powers through my mother. When the woman had come across Do Kyungsoo and fallen in love with him, she had pretty much stalked the other man until she found her way into his affections.

At that time, Kyungsoo was part of Im Chang Jung’s inner circle, which also included my mother, Choi Woori. The woman confesses that my mother was not a pleasant to be around, he was clingy towards Im Chang Jung and jealous and suspicious all of the time, she made things difficult for those around her. Including at the time, the new addition of Hyerin.

As was habit for the last few weeks, as a way to test my powers and their consistency. The woman and I head out to the outskirts of town, where drainers were known to be found nowadays. There were whole areas, with homes, restaurants, entertainment all meant for those of the drainer community. During my initial return to Mokpo, it had been a place that Jinyoung and I had visited countless times, but now it was known for a much seedier and dark lifestyle.

The drainers who lived around here, were known to be dangerous and cause trouble. They were often looked over by the drainer council, and a close eye was kept on their communities. But still that never really stopped the wild and unruly ones from misbehaving, and sometimes a higher power than the drainer council had to come and take care of those who posed a threat to human lives.

Recently Hyerin and I had been regulars to a few of the haunts drainers usually congregated. We would go there to get some information and clues on where Goo Junhoe was. If they had seen him or Im Chang Jung or Jia, or if simply they had any information relating to those people that could help us find them. Unsurprisingly the drainers show their loyalty to the well-known drainers and they choose not to tell us, and even warn us to leave or else there would be trouble for us.

Left with no choice, we head off against the drainers. The pair of us coupled together, my control powers and Hyerin’s powers. I restrict the drainer’s movements, whilst Hyerin uses her powers to read their minds. With this tactic, we manage to rule out these drainers. Another night of this teamwork, we go through several bars and a couple of restaurants and we are met with no luck at all.

Very reluctantly Hyerin and I call it a day and I head home. That night I head off home to get some sleep, as the days passed I start to realise just how important sleep was starting to become. I needed to be fully rested, my powers worked the best when I was the least tired and I was going to do everything that I could to stay as strong as possible.

The next morning, as I sit down for something to eat. My mother interrupts me, telling me to sit down. She forces me to stay and wait while she prepares me something to eat. The woman was determined to have me eating healthily and to eat well. So reluctantly, I sit with the woman and watch her cook and chat with her, it was nice to talk to her.

As she cooks a soup for me, she makes light conversation but I could tell she was bursting at the seams to say more. “Isn’t it time to return to work?” the woman brings up the fact that I had been out of work for a while now. “You need to make a living” she didn’t like seeing me wandering around doing nothing, although that’s what it seemed like to her and others.

“You’re hardly here in the day and you comeback home so late” the woman complains that I was sneaking around. “I know that things for you have been difficult, but you can’t continue this way” the woman had seen that I had broken up with Younghyun and not long after with Yien. I lost my father, I could understand her concern in the direction of where my life was going. I understood her concern, but I still had to continue and head off in the direction that I needed to.

Once I have had breakfast with my mother, I head over to the café to get myself something to drink. As walk in, the first face I see is that of Tuan Yien. My heart skips, after all it had been a couple of weeks pass since I had last seen him. Stood opposite each other, we face off not saying a word.

its awkward. It was strange not seeing the man’s smiling face beaming at me, the fact that in the last few seconds he hadn’t pulled me into a hug or fondled me. This was unlike any of our interactions, it felt like I was facing a stranger. The love and connection was still there, but it was so much duller.

The man was still very angry ever since my confession about sleeping with Junghwa. The man was doing his best to avoid me, calls and texts were ignored. When the man did see me, he could hardly hide the sadness in his eyes. I had let him down and had betrayed him. For months I had hidden a secret from him and that was something I rarely did.

Now Junghwa is pregnant again, and I didn’t know how to apologise for it all when I was definitely the person in the wrong. Junghwa who was pregnant was not to blame, I was. I had been too weak and pulled her into this.

Yien doesn’t say a word, he doesn’t greet me. His eyes glaze over and the man walks past me, and he leaves the café. Without a work said at all, it was one of many non-spoken encounters. It leaves me aching, cause after all these years and years of love, I had caused it to end like this.

It had been a couple of months ago, when it had all happened. Yien had gone off on his first round of press tour in Seoul for his now popular and well done web toon. We had been separated for almost a month, the man had so much work to do in Seoul and I had some when it came to working with my powers. Yien and I had spent a longer time apart in the past. But now that we were a couple the man was reluctant to leave me.

The man had been unsure about going, after all he was still very wary and worried about me since my father’s death. Still I insisted that he should return to work, he shouldn’t have to stop his life for me. I was cheering him on, after all I had always known Yien to be a talent who deserved so much more appreciation for his work. He always seemed to put it off, but now was the time for him to put effort in his passion.

So while he was gone, I was mostly just trying to be there for my family, whatever they needed I was there to support them. Sure admittedly I was feeling very guilty and responsible about what had happened. I felt responsible, of course I knew that I wasn’t. I hadn’t been the person who had attack nor killed my parents, but I was the person that these drainers were after. I was being goaded into a reaction, and it seemed like I had failed a test and for that I had been punished for it. Sometime after my father’s death, it was hard for the reality to settle down for me.

My father was dead; he was no longer part of this world. I had been struggling with my loss, there was one main bright spot in my life that seemed to wipe away those feelings of sadness that I did have. That bright spot was my young child, my pride and joy. The person who seemed to wipe away all the sad thoughts in my mind, and bring me happiness. He was truly more than I deserved, so I made sure to embrace my child completely.

With a day off from Hyerin’s tough and sometimes frustrating training, I decide to head over to the home of former wolf pack beta assassin Park Kyung Il’s house. The man had started off very stony faced and disapproving of me when I had started coming to his house to visit his daughter and grandson. He hadn’t thought much of me, something that I understood. After all, his daughter had struggled alone to raise his grandson.

The man must have resented me for a long time, but over the last few months the man seemed to have softened around me. Despite his large size, the man was very warm and kind, he saw my dedication to his grandson and he had started to protect me more. He was kind and treated and he was always there to give me some words of wisdom as far as reaching out to me.

So that day when I came to his home unannounced to see Junghwa and Noah, the man was bright and inviting. The burly man informs me that his daughter and grandson were out in town for groceries and would probably be on their way back. Although she was taking longer than usual, he suggests that I sit and stay and wait up for Junghwa.

Half an hour passes after the man leaves his home and I start to get worried. As I am about to give Junghwa a call, I hit by a strong scent that inhabits me. It was a familiar, sweet and strong smell, something that unlocks something completely primitive in me. My heart starts racing, and my breath becomes shallow.

Junghwa enters the house, but a few steps into the house she stops and seems to senses me. “No Youngjae you need to leave” Junghwa’s voice is full of panic and concern. She tries to speed past me, but by then it’s too late. I had her scent, I had smelled her and I couldn’t resist her because the haze had dropped. Without hesitation, I follow the scent to her, she was on her way to her room. “Stop!” I raise my hand, as I say that she stops in her tracks. she looks through the mirror I see her shocked face.

Energy pulsed through me, our eyes had locked and just like that I had her under my control. In the blink of an eye I find myself stood in front of her face, overwhelmed by her scent. I wanted nothing more than to eat her up, she smelled and looked so good. She had the glow that I had seen the very first time, it was a shimmer, a slight bronzing to her skin.

It was sudden, and in a blur I had the woman trapped onto the wall behind her. My tongue inside of her mouth, my normal lack of patience in sex is much worse. I moving fast, my hands were all over her, I had ripped down her sundress at the front showing her bra and underwear. She looked spectacular, just the sight of her made my heart racing.

The mother of my child, my childhood friend, the woman I wasn’t in a relationship. I had a person that I was in a relationship with, although we hadn’t labelled it as such. We knew that we were meant to be exclusive to each other, but at that time things had gotten so hectic.

Honestly at that time, I didn’t know how to feel about him, I didn’t know how to feel about anything. I had been left pretty numb, until now. So faced with Junghwa in the haze, I felt overwhelmed with pleasure. It was rippling through me, the strong waves wash over me as Junghwa kisses me back. She seemed to have given into the heat too, her hands slide to my sides pulling me close to me. I was so deep into it, waves of pleasure washes over me as I had sex with Junghwa.

Unlike last time, we had only spent that short afternoon together. There was a connection there, it was what had scared me away all those years ago. It was scary, the feeling that other than Yien there was someone who I could feel so intensely for. That there was someone who I had been made for, that I had been made for.

When the haze finally did drop from us, it had already happened. I had unprotected sex with the mother of my child, and there would be a huge chance that she could get pregnant. And it was all because I had fallen into the haze and failed to control myself.

Junghwa was initially upset that I had used my powers of her, but she seemed to understand that the haze had switched off something in my head. But that understanding didn’t resolve anything, in the end. I had slept with the mother of my child and there would be no taking that back.

We knew there was a potential for her to get pregnant, but then it was too early for us to worry about and foolishly. Really in the mix of so many more overwhelming thoughts, I had let it slip to the back of my mind and I pushed myself to focus on anything else. That is until it became a reality.

Not long ago Junghwa had come to me, she had revealed that she was pregnant. The woman was keeping the baby, not that I had expected otherwise. But she was willing to lie on my behalf and claim that our second child was that of another man. It was something that I couldn’t allow to happen, I wouldn’t let her raise another child alone again.

When away with Yien, I finally confessed to the other man. I had told him about Junghwa and her pregnancy, and that I would be staying be helping her raise this child. It was right after his close call with Chansung, and I had been so worried and concerned about him. Little did I know that the man was also concerned about me too.

Seeing that as the perfect opportunity to confess my transgressions, I was certain as soon as the words left my mouth that I would lose the other man. But I still told the man, knowing he needed to know the truth. Especially before the birth of my child. I could only hope that in the future, the man could find it in his heart to forgive me and we could at least be friends.

It was sad to know that our relationship was like this, but I knew that I was to blame for my weakness. As I order my drink and think about my run in with Yien, I am approached by a face that I hadn’t seen in a while. It was Kang Younghyun, the older man had his drink in hand and was watching me. It appeared that he had seen what had happened with Yien and I.

Bright smiles as before, the man approaches me to talk. He is friendly and reaches and pulls me to the side to chat and the pair of us sit down. It was the first time in a while that we had just talked. The man admits he didn’t really know how to approach me. After breaking up, I had gotten together with Yien so soon and he was still bitter from the rejection.

The man had tried to reach out after the death of my father, but he had noticed that I had pulled away. I admit that I had been having a hard time. But I thought with Yien around, I didn’t think that I would have so much reason to be worried. “But now, you guys, what’s going on there?” the man doesn’t veil his question, he asks a direct question. He was just as I remembered him to be.

So I confess, that I did something that I shouldn’t have but couldn’t control. When I confess that I had sex with Junghwa and gotten her pregnant again, the man watches me surprised. “Wow…” the man looks surprised, I wonder if maybe he was relieved that I had ended things with him, that he hadn’t been dragged into this complicated web of mine.

“That’s intense” the man finally comments. “No wonder Yien is upset. What the hell were you thinking?” The man shows no sympathy towards my situation. When I explain my relationship with Junghwa, and how I had imprinted on her, the man sits in brief silence, he looked shocked.

“That’s possible?” the man pipes up to ask if it was possible to feel that way about someone. To have a strong connection with someone, to feel strongly emotionally and sexually for a person because of nature.

“So if this is all an unfortunate accident, shouldn’t you be trying to convince Yien of that” the man claims the scene he had seen earlier on didn’t show my desire to get him back. I admit that I was scared. That I did love Yien, I always had and I always will. “What kind of love is it?” the man asks. “It’s the love of a brother, a friend, a lover” I think out loud. He’s someone I could imagine spending the rest of my life with, someone I had imagined spending the rest of my life with.

“Then go after him, find a way back into his life” the man encourages me. I can’t. “Why not?” the man looks a little frustrated at this. Because I’m going to be a father for a second time, and I don’t know if he can live in that kind of life. He was trying to be there for me, to accept Noah, but what now that I will be having another child?

“He could calm down; he could end up accepting something that was an accident” the man suggests. Yien was already trying to accept me havin a child, he was already so good with Noah. But this new child, wouldn’t that be asking for too much?

“If he loves you as much as you love him, then maybe not” the man suggests that I had to push through any guilt and just try to talk to Yien. Younghyun says that even when he and I fell out after I discovered his marriage, the man never gave up on me. Because he thought I was worth it, an opinion that leaves me feeling a sense of guilt and remorse.

“After all this time of missed up opportunities and chances between the two of you, don’t let this one become another” the man advices. In the middle of our chat the man’s phone rings, he takes out his phone, I quickly spot the name that flashes on the screen. The man smiles in reply, it’s brief reply and his face straightens up as he quickly replies a text and puts away his phone.

Once again a small smile makes its way on his face, the man seemed to be glowing happily. “Are you dating someone?” the man looks up to me, and looks a little reluctant but he nods his head. “Tell me who…” I test the man despite knowing. “Why does it matter?” the man was defensive. “Tell me- “without thinking I use my powers on the other man.

“Park Jinyoung- “the words slip past the man’s mouth, he looks shocked. I apologise. I had accidently used the powers. I was struggling to control my powers, it’s hard. From small things like getting the elder to reveal his secret, to kicking off the haze with Junghwa. I needed to be careful even with the little things, it was going to make it difficult to be around anyone.

“You don’t seem all that surprised” the man mentions once I’m done profusely apologising. “About Jinyoung and I…” the man adds further. “Yien hyung called it” I explain that Yien had seen Younghyun in the same room as Park Jinyoung a little while ago, and he is very perceptive. But Yien only mentioned it in passing, he truly didn’t care about the blossoming romance between two of my exes.

“Are you happy with him?” I ask the other man who simply nods his head meekly, biting back a smile which told me much more. “Then I hope both of you are happy” I give him nothing but my best wishes, and I meant it. I had been worried about things getting more complicated with both exes living so closely, so this worked out well for me.

After a comfortable one on one with Younghyun, I head over to Hyerin’s house. The woman preferred that we meet at her small bungalow, that way we could discuss all of the intimate details. I had been in her home so much that she had given me a key to enter at my own will, it seemed that woman did really trust me. Not that I had ever given her real reason not to trust me, actually to me it always felt like it was the opposite way round.

The woman wasn’t telling me everything she knew, I always felt like I was getting a part of the story. I didn’t hold it against people for having secrets in general, but if we were going to work together. There were some things I knew she was hiding from me, and I was worried it would bite me in the rear much later on. There needed to be some transparency if I were to trust her.

As I enter Hyerin’s bungalow, I find Solji in the small and comfortable dining room. I hadn’t seen the elder since my confession of my drainer identity at the family dinner, the woman as usual is bright and cheerful self. She warmly greets me, pulling me into her embrace. Just as Jinwoon adored me, the woman was the same, she saw me as her own younger sibling.

The woman and I sit down and we chat. As we do, the woman brings up the conversation of my older siblings Jinwoon and Junhyuk. According to Solji, the pair had fallen out over Junhyuk’s treatment of me. Junhyuk who had been taking our father’s death the hardest, seemed to harden up after our father’s death, and my revelation of being a drainer had not been met well.

Solji tells me that Jinwoon was having a harder time than he was letting on. The woman admits she was worried about the father of her child, he was pulling away from her a little and she could tell he was keeping a secret.

“You’re someone who can open him up, who can talk some sense him” the woman pleads with me. I could tell that the older woman was getting worried, and slightly fed up. She was desperate, so I promise her that I would have a word with my older brother and see what it was that was going on with him. It’s not like she was the only one who had noticed his mood change. I just assumed that because our father had died recently, he was having a difficult time.

The only person who seemed to be holding it together was Sooyoung, she hadn’t shown any outward signs of being affected like her younger siblings. Still, I felt maybe like it would be time that I talked to all my sibling and my mother. There was something that was lingering over our heads, that we needed to challenge.

Solji stays for a little while, the woman had been called over by Hyerin to discuss a protective measure the pension was taking for the influx of drainer attacks. The woman admits that her fellow fairs were having some trouble protecting their pension and have had their butts saved by the wolves on more than one occasion. “We can’t keep relying on the wolves” Solji expresses that they have their own difficult fight to get done.

As we chat, Hyerin finally does return. The smaller woman did looked a little irate, and seemed quite short tempered. The woman and Solji briefly head off to a different room and I assume they discuss the latest attacks in Mokpo. I sit waiting for the pair to discuss whatever it was they needed to do, and I try to get in my mind set to use my powers.

Once they’re done, Solji is first to excuse herself. She waves goodbye and from the look on her face, she looked a little bit more stressed. As a drainer I probably could have overheard what they had to say, but I was too much in my own head and not bothered enough to listen to what they had to say. I didn’t really suspect Solji of anything, so I didn’t feel the need to eavesdrop on the elder, I trusteed her.

Hyerin on the other hand not so much, I knew she was keeping secrets from me. The woman is very bothered and unsettled as she enters the room, and so the woman was stressed paces back and forth in the room. “What if they find him?” something she whispers under her breath, but something I can hear with keen hearing. I ask who she was talking about, but she seems reluctant to tell me, she continues to pace.

Standing up, I stop Hyerin in her tracks keeping her in her spot. I tell her to stop and to speak to me and be honest. “Kyungsoo, they’re finding Kyungsoo” the woman reveals that she suspected it to be that way. Hoseok had asked her a few questions about her husband, and now he was gone out of country and was heading where her husband was. She had done her research and caught us out, but she no idea that I already knew.

Hyerin sounding and looking the most worried and panicked that I have ever seen, expresses her concern about Kyungsoo being out in the open. He was at risk, especially if Im Chang Jung found him. She reveals the story of Kyungsoo and his involvement with Im Chang Jung. That the strong drainer had trapped Kyungsoo into working with him, and with his powers he was able to get away with many crimes. Not only that but he was able to use Kyungsoo to manipulate the future.

“His powers are so powerful and if they fall into the man’s hands” Hyerin explains that, it could mean the end of those he thinks of as his enemy. I sigh frustrated, I was tired of just waiting for this mysterious enemy who was just a name to me. He had been trying to bait me into moving, but he wouldn’t come out yet, so I was just left like a fool waiting for the man to come to me. So I surmise that we needed to head out and find the man before he finds Kyungsoo.

As soon as I say that she seems to calm down. She had a look of determination in her eyes. “Okay let’s do it, let’s find that fucker!” the two of us head out to search the outskirts of town looking for any signs of where the elusive and dangerous drainers were hidden. Unfortunately, our patrol that night is fruitless, and the pair of us return home, failing and defeated.

The people we had found had been newly made drainers, none wanted any dealings with us, they were just recreational users. Hyerin frustrated and bitter would report the brothel we had found them that night to the drainer council, but I doubted anything would be done about it. The council was corrupt; they didn’t care about co-existing with the human race. They were protecting the rights of drainers, the good and the very ones. Im Chang Jung was definitely linked to them. Goo Junhoe’s positioning in their leagues left me confident that he was.

As I head home, I hear two familiar voices. Hidden by a pillar, I hide away and watch a drunk Yien head home, and with him was Changkyun. He was carrying the drunk looking elder on the way to his house. The man listens on patiently as Yien yells out his complaints. Why did he have to sleep with her? Why wasn’t I enough? Why have I never been enough? My heart drops. I ask myself those question too, why had he not been enough? Or was Junghwa too much? The feelings for her? The more that I saw her, the deeper those feelings got.

Silently as I can, I follow Changkyun and Yien to Yien and Hoseok’s shared house. I wanted to make sure that they got home safely, I still worried about the older of course. Changkyun enters the house with the other man, they are in the house for a good half an hour and I wait outside.

I knew that he would be taken care of well by Changkyun, but still I stay in place, waiting for Changkyun to finally leave the house. He had done this so many times, taken care of drunk friends. I was no different, he was kind and would go out of his own way for pretty much anyone. I hoped that even though he had always been my best friend, that he was someone who was reaching out to Yien in this difficult time.

“Hey drainer boy” I hear a familiar voice call out. The deep baritone voice, smooth since the day I had met him. Changkyun dashes from Hoseok and Yien’s shared home, over to me. The man is all smiles, he had caught me in my act but still there was no judgement there. There had never ever been any judgement between the two of us.

“Have you been avoiding me?” the man immediately accuses. No I answer not too convincingly. “I’ve just been working hard” I lamely excuse myself. The man doesn’t seem to believe me, his facial expression doesn’t seem to hide it at all. “We went from seeing each other several times a day, to now I’m lucky if I smell your scent in the week” my best friend complains sourly.

I cringe, embarrassed at how obvious I had made it. “I know you’re going through a lot. But this isn’t the time to pull away from me” the man reaches over to my shoulder giving it a squeeze. “I’m sorry “I meekly apologise; I knew it wouldn’t be enough though.

“Your best friend is going through a tough time too” Changkyun says with a pout, I wasn’t sure if he meant it or not. “You are?” I ask just in case. The man always looked like he had it together, I never looked at him like he could have any issues. I was ignorant in that way.

“Yes, I have a whole pack that I have to put together to defend ourselves from my biggest enemy” the man confesses his fears that his pack will suffer casualties. “That enemy being my father… our father” the man lets that out with a very straight face. Surprised I look up to Changkyun.

“Hoseok can usually control what he’s thinking when he’s around me, but it seemed that the news of our shared parentage had done a number on him” the man reveals that when the pair had burst together, he had heard the thoughts of the elder.

“He’s been busy trying to find all sorts of people. He has to track down that future healer, and well the elusive shared enemy we have” Changkyun claims that there was so much running through Hoseok’s head. he older wolf was trying to figure out how everyone is related. He figured that if found he connections, then he could find the weakness to defeat our enemy.

“So yes I know we share the same father. I’ve known for a little while” Changkyun very casually admits, as if this was absolutely nothing. “Every time I wanted to speak to you about it. You ran away, like a scared little lamb” the other man is able to tease. The fact that we shared a father, it was something that still shocked me to the core.

I admit that I didn’t know how to talk about it. I had always felt close to Changkyun, since the beginning I’ve always had a good relationship with him. It was good vibe; we were people who seemed to have been destined to know each other. But I never in my life expected to be related to him.

For a little while, the pair of us finally get to talking. Changkyun insists that we can’t keep hiding things from each other. “You’ve always been the person I’ve been closest too. I rely on you too Youngjae” Changkyun confesses that he needed me as much as I needed him. “Blood or not, we’ve always been brothers” the man admits that things haven’t changed for him. He didn’t love me any less or more with the news.

We sit down and talk openly, the first time in a long time we let each other know each other’s worries fears and concerns. Once we’re done, we have to head off away in our own directions. Changkyun had a pack to lead and I had my family I needed to take care of.

The next morning, I sit to talk to mother. I tell her that I had decided we should meet up as a family, just the siblings and talk something over. I ask if she could arrange it. I had something that I needed to announce and that I felt we needed to settle somethings. The woman who is a little apprehensive, does eventually agree.

My mother does sit me down and she finally checks up on me. “What were my plans?” she was worried that I would be gone all day. I tell her that I would let her know later but r today I would be spending the day with Noah and Junghwa. The anxious woman asks about it being wise spending time with Junghwa.

“If you just want to co-parent, then I don’t get why you need to be around her too” the woman expresses her concern over my relationship with Junghwa. I tell her that it was for Noah, but she sees through me, claiming that if that was the case then I should be enough.

“Noah is young, he shouldn’t get his hopes up that you will reunite, Junghwa” and I knew the woman was right, but I still have mixed feelings. “Yien won’t further misunderstand” the woman was supportive of our relationship, she didn’t want me to mess any chance I could have to make it up to the elder.

Not wanting to delve deeper into everything, I excuse myself and head over meet up with Junghwa. Noah was asleep in his room taking a nap, so Junghwa and I sit up in the living room and we discuss pregnancy what we were going to do. The woman says she was going to have the child, and like we were already doing with Noah we would co-parent.

It seems like there wasn’t much else to be discussed for now, we would have the months ahead to go into further details. I was thinking of the possibility of with my mother, maybe we could move closer to Junghwa. So I could be there to support her more, if we lived in the same neighbourhood we could achieve that, but that could be another discussion for another day.

“Have you spoken to Yien?” the woman checks up on me. She was walking on egg shells around me. It seemed that she blamed herself for the split despite my many reassurances that she hadn’t be responsible for this and now we were left in this situation. The best thing I could think we could do would be to just to support each other.

“I can’t accept this, it’s not fair” the woman is frustrated and full of despair. “You’re supposed to be with him, the woman looked aggrieved on my behalf. It seemed to be that way with Junghwa, when I was trying to be strong she seemed to be in the suffering with me. According to Changkyun it was part of the imprint, if I felt pain, if I was upset she felt it. The same if I ever felt happiness, the woman was bound to feel happy for me no matter what.

 

Looking overwhelmed by it all, she tells me that she would be staying at the pension for a little while. She needed some time to herself, with the pregnancy she needed some time to rest. The woman reassures me that she was fine, but she wanted a little bit of rest as the pregnancy was taking the energy out of her a lot more than it did with the first pregnancy. 

Deciding that I maybe need to leave things with Junghwa and I to air, I let her leave. But thankfully she does allow me to have Noah for the next couple of days. So I decide to head off with my precious son to meet up with my oldest brother, the man whose wife had become very worried about.

Meeting at the park, I sit down to talk with Jinwoon. The pair of us were sat on a bench, whilst watching Noah and his cousin were sat in the sand box. The man looked happy to see me, even more he seemed happy to see his daughter and my son getting along. Junghwa had allowed me to have Noah for a few hours in the afternoon. So I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to bring Jinwoon and my dear niece out.

“Are you okay?” it was a simple statement, and I knew Jinwoon knew what I meant. The other man nods his head, but I could see there was something bothering him. I reach over and stroke through his hair, I pat him on top of his head. It wasn’t something that I had to do for him as a younger sibling, it was usually the other way that he comforted me.

“How can he be this stubborn?” Jinwoon starts to off load his issues with Junhyuk. “I know it was a shock, but still… he’s your brother” the man complains that Junhyuk was acting irrationally. He believed that if the elder truly did value me, then he would at least try and get over the fact that I was a drainer. After all, Sooyoung, Minho and Jinwoon and Solji had managed to get past it and were supporting me, so why not Junhyuk?

I understood the frustration that the elder had, I was feeling the same. Cause if the tables were turned, I would never push Junhyuk away for simply being the thing that he was. The man was in the wrong and I knew it, but I wasn’t going to force him to understand. If he doesn’t understand it, then I couldn’t force him to. I would just have to wait for him.

“It’s wrong! He can’t just throw you away like this!” Jinwoon has his own little rant about it. I let the man get it all out of his system until he suddenly seems to break down. The man watches me and suddenly he lets out what was at the root of all of his fears. The man wonders that if Junhyuk could act like this about my drainer revelation, then how would he take not having the same mother and father as me. Jinwoon feared that it could mean the end of our close bond of siblings.

Suddenly it all makes sense, why the elder was like this. He feared the secrets that were to inevitably come out would rip our family apart. He worried, and I understood it. But if we weren’t strong enough to get through it, then it would be proof that we weren’t strong enough in the first place. I promise the elder that even if the truth came out, then we would always make sure to remain close. I would still be the younger brother that he had always taken care of throughout my life.

Jinwoon seems grateful to hear this, he wraps his arms around me pulling me close into a hug. The older embraces me a bit longer than he normally does, and I get to realise that he was someone who really needed me. More than I ever thought of. I knew that I had to get stronger and make it through, to survive and to fight my enemies and return to my family.

That afternoon is spent with Jinwoon, his daughter and my son. The four of us, have fun and for the first time in a long while. Things are so upbeat and light I was so grateful for it. My family was so important and I was determined not to lose it all and become hopeless. 

At the end of the family fun and games, I drop Noah off with my mother who is more than happy to spend time with the younger. After being so scared to really face the man and try to talk to him, now was the time for me to face my fears. To try and confront something that I was so scared of. 

So needing to sort all of that out, I head over to Yien’s house. It was the first time in a while that I had enough confidence to approach his house, I had been so ashamed and guilty. I knew the man was so angry with me that I was afraid of having the door closed on me, so like a scaredy cat, I hadn’t approached the man, because I didn’t know what to say.

Today when I do knock the door, Yien does answer the door. He looks surprised to see me, he blinks a little and doesn’t accept my greeting. So I push forward and ask if I could speak to the man. There is a brief pause before the man lets me inside of his home. He looked pale and gaunt like he hadn’t been eating, or at least eating well.

This was the first time he hadn’t walked away from me; he hadn’t just ignored me. Surprisingly as we walk into the house the man leaps up and hugs me close and starts to cry. Into my chest, the man sobs. Reaching for the man’s waist, I hold him up as he gets it all out. He lets out all of his tears, he was so upset and I had been the cause of it all.

Once the tears stop, Yien confesses that he’s had a hard time being separated from me. “I missed you” the man is the first to say it. “Do you know how many times I almost called you?” red faced Yien kind of yells as he pulls away. “How many texts and emails I almost sent out. The amount of times I knocked on your door?” the man admits that he had struggled.

“If I wanted to get over you, then staying in Mokpo wasn’t the best idea” the man admits he wasn’t able to let go of me. He claims that if he left and went across the world, he knew he would find it harder. “My yearning for you would be so much more, my heart would hurt so much more” the man confesses. “I love you so much Youngjae.” Yien reaches for my hand.

“So much that I’m even thinking of sharing you with the mother of your children” Yien quietly adds that last part, to my surprise. Share me? How the hell would that work? Despite the suggestion, I could still see the hurt on his face, he was still hurt by my accident. If the tables had been turned, I would probably be still feeling bitter.

“How about this Youngjae, You, Junghwa and I sit down and put together a rota” the man suggests, I can’t tell if it’s a joke or not.

“I get you from Mondays to Thursdays and Jjong can have you at the weekend? Would that be fair?” I’m still not sure if he’s serious or not, but even still I disagreed. “No? then what would make you happy?” the man suggests, the look in his eyes was a little desperate.

“After all this time, I finally get you to admit that you love me. I’m supposed to just give up?” Yien looked desperate and upset. “You want me to give up on what I have been so greedy for all this time. Am I supposed to give you up to the mother of your children?” the man was getting frustrated.

“What do you take me for? Do you think I will give up on you?” Yien gets a little louder and more irate. “I won’t ever give up on you Youngjae, not when we’ve gotten this far in our story” I watch him, what I had meant to do crumbling in front of me. I couldn’t end us could I?

My objective to coming to see Yien was to end our relationship, seeing myself as someone who was only causing hurt to my cherished friend. Was it possible that the man could forgive me for this. I didn’t want to hurt him.

“You’re physically destined for each other, but you and I…we’re different aren’t we?” I watch the man unsure how to react. As tempted as I was to be with him, I knew I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t feel what I Felt for Junghwa and still be with Yien, I knew that I would hurt his feelings.

Struggling, I apologise to Yien. I tell him that I was sorry for my behaviour, but I wouldn’t be able to get back with him. I couldn’t be with him, not when I had done something so bad like this. Losing his temper the man pushes me repeatedly, his efforts don’t inspire much movement from me. As a drainer, I was far stronger than the man.

“You don’t get to decide!!” the elder tearfully lambasts. The put together façade quickly crumbles and in front of me was a shaken and crumbling man. He was on the ledge, so hurt and upset by it all. The man pounds on my chest, tears flowing as he sobs.

“There is no way you’re ending things. We don’t end until I say it” and with that, the man grabs me by the collar pulling me close to him. Sighing deeply, I throw away all doubts and pull the man in close to me. I give up on trying to do the honourable thing. I would be ultimately selfish, and be with the man that I loved. The man who loved me the most. That would be until he said otherwise.

After letting the elder get the tears out of his system, Yien finally calms himself down enough to start talking to me. We keep the conversation light and we catch up on the things we had missed from each other since our separation from each. The topic mostly surrounding itself around the burgeoning career he was having, the movie his web toon had spawned.

It’s a relief to know that the man was doing fine, despite our split. It seemed that even if he was frazzled about our split, then at the very least he and something he could find some solace in. The work he had put so much of himself into, he something else other than me.

“It won’t be easy getting to that good place” there would be a lot of issues as far as this triangle that was going on between, Junghwa, he and I. “but when have things ever been easy between us all?” the man quips with a slight smile on his face. It was enough to get me laughing. For the first time in a while I really laugh, something that seems to please Yien.

We were going to take baby steps to get back to where we were, and then move forward. But I was glad that things weren’t looking as hopeless as before, and if we could make some things then things a little less complicated for not only the both of us, but also Junghwa. Then we would be taking a step in the right direction. 

The next morning, I wake up to find that my mother had been up early to make us something to eat. It had been a while since we had met up as a family, but it seemed that everyone even the kids were gathered in the apartment. Taking up the kitchen, dining and living room space together.

My mother had cooked a delicious feast for her children and grandchildren, Jinwoon, Junhyuk and Sooyoung and their partners and I gather in the kitchen and dining room area. As we eat and catch up, I drop a new bomb which shocks the whole family. I tell them that Junghwa is pregnant again.

Junhyuk and Sooyoung without hesitation are the first to lay into me and they tell me off. They were on the defensive on Yien’s behalf, they understandably disapproved of me cheating on Yien. I looked like a bad guy and honestly, from what I had last seen of Yien, it was a fair assessment.

Despite this, I try to tell them it’s more complicated than it looks and it was, but really there was no excuse for all of this to have been as messy as it was. Junhyuk is disapproving of it all, he doesn’t bother hiding his disapproving of me. If he was like this already, then I worry about his reaction for the next piece of news that I have.

“I know about Im Chang Jung and Choi Woori” I announce to my mother. The woman looks shocked, meanwhile Junhyuk, Sooyoung, Soojung and Minho look a little confused. Meanwhile Jinwoon and Solji watch on knowingly, they watch on quietly and supportively.

“How long have you known?” my mother slowly unravels; I could tell that she was upset. “Known what?” Junhyuk pushes immediately suspicious. “Youngjae is also adopted”, Jinwoon reveals the truth. The truth that we shared the same biological father.

“That the man was a thoughtless drainer who had gotten three women pregnant and had never taken responsibility for any of his children” my mother says bitterly and disapprovingly. I reveal that instead of being Sooyoung and Junhyuk’s blood brother, that I was more accurately their cousin through their father’s illegitimate sister. The older pair are surprised, Junhyuk is silent whilst Sooyoung asks questions.

How long had I known, why hadn’t I told them earlier? Had I been trying to meet the people who created me? She listens calmly when I let her known it had been something that I had recently found out, but I lie about the last part. I couldn’t tell her that I was trying to track down my father to kill him before he could kill me.

The woman is quick to tell me that the situation was still the same as it was with Jinwoon. We were siblings. We would always be. “You’re my little brother and nothing’s going to change that” Sooyoung offers comfortingly. “Except it has”, Junhyuk finally pipes up.

“You’re Jinwoon’s little brother now, aren’t you?” Junhyuk pushes despite Soojung’s protests. “He’s still your brother”, my mother tries to argue, but the words don’t seem to reach Junhyuk. He had already been having a hard time accepting that I was a drainer, now this news that I didn’t share the same parents as him. The other man was having a hard time accepting this.

Junhyuk gets up on his feet excusing himself, ignoring the pleas from Sooyoung, Jinwoon and my mother. Soojung apologises and excuses herself, following after her future husband. My heart drops. I understood that this would be hard to accept, but I was scared that he might not be able to accept me in the end.

Even when the man had made the discovery of my sexuality, it hadn’t taken him this long to get his head around it and accept me. Now this was a little bit more intense, but still these were circumstances that I couldn’t help any more than I could help my sexuality. If he couldn’t come round, then there was not much I could do about it.

Sooyoung unlike Junhyuk gets up on her feet and pulls me up to my feet pulling me into her warm embrace. The elder reassures me that blood isn’t what made me her brother, and it won’t change things at all for her. I was certain she meant it, the elder had always been unwavering in her love for me and the family that we had grown up in.

She waves the pair over, my mother and Jinwoon stand up and join the embrace cocooning me in a warm embrace. It was my first time in a long while that I had felt safe and protected like this. It reminds me just what a strong force my family could be for me. I was grateful for them and all that they did for me. Minho and Solji giggle watching on, before getting up their feet to join this messy little group hug.

That night I sit down with my mother to discuss everything that she knew. I had some questions and I wanted her to be open with me. To tell me everything that she had kept away from me, I wanted there to be the truth between us. It had been years that had passed and there hadn’t been that honesty that I had believed that I had grown up knowing.

Finally, I hear the truth from her. She opens up on what she knew about Im Chang Jung, the woman doesn’t hide her absolute hatred for the man. She had always thought of him as a vile young man for his player reputation. He had been known to have gotten young local Lee Jihyun pregnant very easily on. And instead of taking responsibility, he had gotten his parents to put pressure on the young woman who had eventually had to give up on her child. At that time my mother and father were desperate for a child but struggling, and so they had happily adopted Jinwoon from Lee Jihyun.

Years had passed and they didn’t hear anything more about the man, that is until rumours were spreading all the way from Busan where Im Chang Jung was now based for work. We had heard rumours that he was still the unlikable young man who was playing women and continuing to take no responsibilities. Just living off of his parent’s wealth

It wasn’t until much later when Choi Woori, my father’s younger and illegitimate sister came back to Mokpo. The younger was besides herself, she had found herself in this love triangle with strong feelings for the irresponsible chaebol. She was pregnant, and stuck between a rock a and a hard place. She wanted to be with Im Chang Jung, but the other man had rejected her child, claiming he would only take her back if she came back without a child. He was encouraging her to get an abortion.

Thankfully, Woori could not go through with it and she in the end made the agreement with her older brother to give birth. Once she had given birth, she was to give my mother and father responsibility of me. They signed papers and made the agreement that the woman would not return to me or make contact. The woman had agreed and my mother assumed, that she had rushed back to be by Im Chang Jung’s side.

It wasn’t until years later, when my parents and I were no longer talking did Chang Jung return to threaten my father. According to my father, Chang Jung he had said he would return for his sons. “He was very vague about it” but my mother claims that she had never seen father so scared, which meant to her that they should take it seriously.

Thinking about the Im Chang Jung’s words, I wonder if he had returned for Jinwoon, or I or maybe Changkyun. “You know about that?” my mother is surprised to know that I had discovered the biological link that I had with my best friend. She’s surprised to see how well I am taking al of this, I could tell that she was worried about me.

“I admit that I had always assumed me meant he would return for Changkyun” my mother admits she worried a little less for Jinwoon and I. “After all, out of the mother of his children the man had a weakness for Park Minyoung” the woman speaks of the rumours she had heard.

According to the rumour mill, He loved the woman, it seemed like he did try to change his ways at some point. But then Choi Woori broke him down, she seemed to bring out of him. She bought the greed out of him.

“I know your father wouldn’t have agreed with me speaking about her this way. He did truly love his sister” according to my mother, my father only ever saw her through rose coloured glasses. He could never accept that the fact that his younger sister was not as innocent as he would have liked to see her as.

“Even when she was pregnant with you. This precious life inside of her” she was so obsessed with finding Chang Jung and being reunited with that man. She knew that he didn’t want to have children, that he didn’t want raise children. He was as selfish and self-centred man who didn’t want anything that wasn’t his vision to get in his way.

“That’s why he abandoned your mother while she was pregnant” my mother says with a sour expression. But still. She begged and begged her brother take responsibility for her child and of course we accepted.

“We had enough love for you, we could provide you with a loving household and we did” the woman admits that as parents they did keep certain things from me, feeling they should could protect me from such a complicated life.

“That’s what as parents you should do for a child” my mother encourages. The conversation takes its turn. “That’s what you need to do with this whole situation with Junghwa” for Noah and the child who will soon be coming, my mother advises that I need to figure out what I and who I want.

“Do you want to be with their mother? If so then we will support you” the woman pauses waiting for my answer, but right now things were complicated on that end of things. “If you want to be with Yien, then we will support you” the woman encourages me to make things less complicated to move forward, for everyone involved’s sanity.

Later that night, I sit up thinking of the story my mother had told me. I sit up drinking a beer and thinking of how far my life had been veered off of it’s path. From my suddenly pulling out from being a teacher, and aimlessly searching and looking for my elusive enemy.

To my complicated family situation, my best friend was actually my brother. My brother was actually my cousin, and he couldn’t accept that or the fact that I was a drainer. Both exes were dating happily, whilst the best friend I had cherished all these years and I were working towards a reconciliation and were taking the first steps towards it. 

Junghwa also passes my thoughts. Despite what she tried to show, she must be struggling with me. Even though she was encouraging of our situation, seeing me with Yien must hurt her too. I wanted to find a way to stop her from hurting but I was struggling with finding an option. I had made things so messy for myself and that was all before I even got to thinking about my parental situation.

 

The man who was supposed to be my father was determined to take me down and I needed to know why. Could it really just be because I was the child of the woman who had tried to tie him down? Why didn’t he just target Choi Woori instead?

Why was it up to me to lose everything? What kind of man was he? What kind of man was my so called mother, the woman who had dropped me for a man? Where was she? What was she doing? Was she even alive? There were so many questions running through my head

My train of thought is cut short when I receive a call from someone I hadn’t expected to hear from. I had seen her texts, but all were related to our son. I had thought the woman would continue to block me out for a little while, that was until she calmed down, but here she was actually calling. With haste I answer the phone, and I’m immediately on edge.

“Youngjae- “her voice sounds shaken. It sounded like she was holding back tears, she seemed to be really struggling. Immediately I’m on my feet despite not knowing where to go, but I was concerned Junghwa didn’t sound right. “You need to come to the hospital” My heart starts racing.

“What had happened?” as calmly as I can ask the woman. “It’s Yien. He’s unconscious” my heart just drops through my stomach. “He’s really hurt…” she lets out choking back a sob. There is an immediate feeling of dread that settles in my stomach. Had he moved again? Was Im Chang Jung this determined?


	17. ...Brothers

“My hubby is a light weight, how cute!” the sultry voice of the woman in my arms goes straight to my ears. Fluttering occurs, my heart continues to flutter as it has done for the last eight years.

 

My wife and the mother of my two precious children still won that kind of response just from existing. More so when she clings to me, her toned body on mine. With all the curves in the right places, my hands find themselves firmly on her hips, as if her hips were made for my hands.

Who knows? Maybe that was it. After all we were made to be together. We were like two pieces that completed a puzzle. We had completed each other, and since then I had come to realise just how empty I had been without the woman. I had come to realise that without her, I was just getting by.

Despite my slightly pitiful family situation, with my mother having died and my father never being in my life. I had always thought that I was doing just fine, especially with my uncle Jinyoung and aunt Sojin who were around to take care of me and to show me what truly family was like.

 

Still, it wasn’t until I accepted the love that I had for Ahn Hyojin that I realised just what I had been missing out on. This overwhelming feeling of love and just an obsession in the person you loved and knowing that they loved you back. I was definitely a winner when it came to life. I had found something that most struggled to find in their whole life time and got it all by the time I was 19 years old.

Sat on the bar stool, I sit legs open with my wife stood between my legs. Her arms around my waist, her sweet scent making its way to me and clouding my already clouded head. Admittedly I was a little tipsy off of the few drinks I had thus far tonight, and as my wife was only too proud to tease me about, I was a total light weight.

“Should we end it here?” the woman who had always been a little bit more alcohol tolerant, was taking the role of responsible adult it seemed. I wasn’t exactly drunk or too far gone that I needed to be checked upon by my wife, but I knew she was always cautious when it came to me and that I was the same when it came to her. We looked after each other.

Today was the first time in a while that the pair of us had been free from all of our responsibilities. From raising our young and beautiful children, to running a business the two of us. Our lives were jam packed, not only with that, but with our duties in the pack and because of that we rarely got the time to let our hair down and be the young people that we still were.

Fortunately, Hyojin’s father Mr Ahn was in town, the former pack beta had retired to live a quiet life in Busan. This week happened to be one where he decided to visit his only child and check up on his precious grandchildren, to make sure I was doing my duties as a father and husband.

Through the man’s evaluation, he had found that I was lacking in the husband department. Too busy with my own responsibilities, I was neglecting his precious daughter.

My responsibility was to keep her happy, to have her feeling happy and young for as long as possible according to him. We were too young to be settling so deeply into our comfortable pattern.

So taking his advice, I had taken Hyojin out to the place of her choice and that’s how we had found ourselves at a bar near the outskirts of the city area. It was a popular and upcoming bar that all of our friends had seemed to approve of, so hearing that we had decided to come and check things out.

The place was small, dimly lit but it looked like a British Public house. Very relaxed and inviting, the customers seemed to be around our ages so it was a little comfortable for ourselves. The pair of us indulge ourselves in lots of drinking and fun, the woman had even convinced me to do some dancing.

Deciding to leave the club, the pair of us walk home hoping to sober up a little bit. Plus it meant that evening didn’t end so soon, I was trying to make sure that I spent as much as time as possible with my stunning wife. She made simple short and hoodie combination look like the finest couture, everything fit her in the right places and highlighted her sensational curves.

“Im Maknae, he’s in that irritating stage. Do you think dad will be able to deal well with him?” it doesn’t take long for the woman to start bringing up her precious children. She starts on the one she had the greatest weakness towards, her precious son and youngest child Im Jikyu. He was five years old, and he was a handful to stay the least. Always running around recklessly without thought of any consequences to his safety.

He was always about fun, and he was a joy to behold although he could be worrisome sometimes. But with his smart and keen older sister by his side, the younger was learning how to be more careful from her. It meant that us as parents didn’t have to nag him so much.

Although the boy could be a handful sometimes, his grandfather would be able to hand it. After all he had raised their mother, a point which I put across which earns my favourite evil cackling sound in the world from my wife. Just succeeding in making her laugh certainly brings up my mood.

As we make our way towards our apartment which was only a few streets away, I sense something in the air. It wasn’t the light hearted romance that my wife and I had been experience recently. No, there was something else in this, it was sinister and it cuts through me sobering me up immediately.

“Shit. Not even one night” commenting on the fact that we couldn’t even be spared the courtesy of one night off. Away from the children, from friends and family and rom protecting Mokpo. We couldn’t avoid confrontations with drainers, it seemed that we had been followed and whoever had been following us was getting closer and closer to us.

Fighting drainers all this time had lead me to being much more aware of my surroundings, it allowed me to know the signs. To tell when someone was following me, or if I was going to get jumped and attacked. This was extremely annoying; on any other night I would be at least fine with this situation. I had to get used to being fine with being attacked and fighting drainers, but after such a nice night out with my wife, I can’t help but feel slightly irked right now.

Hyojin and I turn around to face the people who had been following us, it had gone from one person and slowly built up into a crowd. Stood in position almost to surround us was a group of young looking drainers, couldn’t be older than high school age, but their numbers are enough to put my back up and take this seriously, there were over a dozen drainers.

The group of drainers is lead by one young female drainer, she couldn’t be an adult just yet, but there was something quite intimidating about her. Long shaggy black hair flows past her shoulders, she has a short and slender frame. Wearing a hoodie, it covers her up pretty much. Still despite looking much younger than the people around her, I could sense her strong aura.

Looking around, it’s very easy to see that we were very outnumbered, leading me to believe that this has been planned. We were out of the wolves’ patrol perimeter, which meant we would be unable to defend ourselves until we could get back into the wolf lines. It seemed that the drainers had planned it out this way, or they’d sensed that a wolf was in their parimeter and were willing to attack unprovovked.

It had been a few years that drainers had become known to the general public, and most countries were just now trying to figure out what to do with this large population of people. So There was some fear of drainers from humans, and so there were drainer only zones. In those zones, humans tended not to go unless they were very brave or open minded.

Wolves tended not to go in those perimeters after an agreement was made, wolves didn’t need to fight or protect anyone in this area. But still, it seemed that even though we were doing nothing at all, there was still an animosity between our people. No amount of rule following, and attempts to be civil would change it, and minutes away from our territory, we were being jumped. It was a cowardly act, and not all drainers were like this, but the ones in front of us certainly were.

“Hey mutts, are you lost?” one of the cocky drainers stood in the front lines says with a smirk, his very unoriginal slur causing some laughter. “These are drainer parts, your stench is making it hard for us to breath!” another adds, causing more laughter and jeering. “We can’t just let you go so easily” the last drainer adds, making their more than clear.

“What are you going to do toddler?” a familiar voice calls out suddenly breaking the tension between the drainers and us in our face off. Hyojin and I were ready to burst and protect ourselves, we were talking through our connections about a tactic. The woman wouldn’t leave me alone to run and get enforcements, so we were clearly planning who the weakest drainers were and who to take out first.

“Aren’t you kids playing unfair?” the voice belongs to none other than Lee Woojin, the head drainer in charge of Mokpo. Not that these kids knew, most scoff at the sight of the older drainer, none seemed to know who had joined them. Back in the day when the drainer community was a lot smaller and more close knit, just the sight of the man would cause fear.

However, there were so many drainers, so many communities and cliques formed. I’m sure it was hard to put the fear of god into each and every one of these people. “Hey old man, what do you want?” the menacing female drainer finally speaks up a grin on her face.

Lee Woojin is greatly amused by the young girl’s attempt to come at him, he is barely fazed as the group of drainers seems to close in on us. “Are you here to defend the mutts?” one of the drainers asks with scorn. “How is that any of your business?” Lee Woojin coolly retorts, he hadn’t turned to acknowledge any of the drainers at this point.

Back faced from them, the man was still stood between the drainers and Hyojin and us and he eyes were fixed on me as he spoke. The man was always like this when he was around, it was like he was taking a mental picture me or something. Sometimes it felt like he was infatuated with me, but then I remember that I must look similar to my father.

The man had pledged some loyalty to me and my pack, that was until he returned back presumably to fight against me. So for now I had his loyalties, I certain he would help me in this fight, but I didn’t know how much longer I had him on my side. This was something that worried me every day, because I didn’t think my wolf pack although bigger, was ready to fight a town full of drainers, an enemy that was continuously growing.

“Don’t worry my pet, just stay here” the man smiles petting my head fondly, he turns to Hyojin and winks playfully at the woman. All in the flash of an eye, the man turns and is by the side of the small female drainer. Before she can even open her mouth to speak, the man snaps her neck off her head ending her life. Just like that.

Much like the other times I had seen the man fight and take his enemy out, I find myself feeling shivers down my spine. The man was ruthless, he didn’t even think twice in eliminating his enemy. He was always so cold and precise; with just two movements he had managed to remove the head from the main drainer of the group. Shocking the ones around him.

It was a calculated move, to see who had the balls to try and attack him if their leader was gone. To weed out those who were real about this, and the weaklings would run away with their tails between their legs. Covered in blood, with a newly deceased drainer by his leg. The man looks awfully calm for a person who had just killed a young girl.

Sure we had to kill drainers too, but we never enjoyed it. We did it to protect the people around us, if there was a drainer who wasn’t doing anything wrong, they we never attacked them. We usually had to move when pushed, but it seemed that Woojin was different. It didn’t take much for him to be pushed. And to show his strength, he liked to be ruthless it seemed.

Hyojin stood next to me watches on, her normal feeling of distrust and discomfort showing when she was around Lee Woojin. She had never trusted the man and she believed he knew more than he was willing to tell. Something that I agreed with, it becomes very clear that this was true too later on. When several brave drainers try to defeat Woojin.

All challengers fail and are easily taken care of, leaving a few dead bodies piled up and some scared young drainers. As soon as the man can see enough fear in the drainers, he switches from the ruthless killer to caring older male. He instructs the drainers to clean up the bodies of the fallen comrades, he does it all with a smile but the look in his eyes gives those left over no choice but to follow his word.

“Call the council when you’re done” the man was following the brand new practices implemented in the law. Part of it seemed to be more about him showing off about what he had done and what he was capable of, and it was less about him actually following the rules and the law. Still, what could I do or say to the man who was so strong like this? Nothing.

The man does escort Hyojin and I over the border lines close to our home, the man seems aware of the discomfort coming from my wife and casually talks to us about the disrespect of children. He has a mini rant about how bold the new drainers with no training seemed to be, he expresses his relief that he had been there to save the both of us.

“Choi Youngjae will be back soon” the man says seemingly out of nowhere; we hadn’t been speaking about him before. My blood freezes, why did this man know about Youngjae or care about him? Hyojin suddenly has all her guards up, just like I she cared for Youngjae too and such a dangerous man even speaking about him was worrisome.

“He’s someone who will be of importance as far as taking your father down is concerned” despite me not asking, the man explains. “How do you know that?” Hyojin beats me to the punch asking the question. “I have certain people with certain powers that I know” the man answers with a sly and knowing smile, it was an annoying smile I wanted to punch off of his face.

“Powers?” I ask hoping the man could give more information and stop being an annoying prick. “Yes. Clairvoyants of the such” Lee Woojin answers with an annoyingly chipper smile. I watch the man with suspicion. I had never let my guard down when around him but I had to keep vigilant with that.

“Anyway through this person whose word I trust; he tells me Youngjae is soon to come here” Lee Woojin reasons that the only problem is that Youngjae may be in two heads about being back in town. The man claims that it was going to be up to us, to give him reason to stay.

“It’ll be a brief stop, but it could end up being something longer if your play your cards right” whilst the man is saying all of this, Hyojin is shouting at me through our mental connection. She didn’t like this at all, the sudden mention of Youngjae, from this man. Why did he want us to convince Youngjae to stay, it could be a trap, but it could also not be.

Also he might be telling the truth, honestly I couldn’t think of any time during the years that I had known him that he had done something bad. I couldn’t think of anything bad if it involved Youngjae. The man does leave us with one warning before heading off wherever he does. But the man does let me know that Youngjae had changed and there might be somethings that I might have to learn to accept something new about Youngjae.

What did he mean? I can’t help but wrack my brains that night trying to think of the answer because I had no idea. The events after leaving the bar had definitely left a dampener on what was a good night up until then. What had happened with Youngjae? He had told me of anything big that had changed, would I have to help him or would it be something that wasn’t all that big at all? I didn’t know.

The next morning, I get the kids ready for school with the help of their grandfather. Hyojin had headed out early to open up the café, as we had taken turns. We still worked well together as parents. Living in our small apartment just the four of us. Uncle Jinyoung had given me the reigns to the business and trusted that my vision of the business and how to make it more accessible to people. We were doing so much better, but it was definitely taking a lot of work.

Mr Ahn heads to the café to help Hyojin out at the shop, so I take my time taking the kids to school. I make sure they have everything they need, drop them off and head through the beautiful scenery of the park towards the café. It was a short cut, but it was fortunately a very pretty shortcut to take.

As I take my walk through the park I see a familiar face, the woman was sat on a park bench with a cup of coffee enjoying the breezy weather. The elder Mrs Choi greets me and pulls me into a conversation. The woman was always very warm and polite. She had always treated me so well, as Youngae’s friend I always assumed she treated me this way.

I could tell that the woman missed her son. She had stuck to her husband’s side, she cries, she didn’t even know too much about her son, now he was at school to earn his teaching degree, he was apparently in a long term relationship with a man. He was a police officer. This were all little bits she had heard of through her siblings who had visited the younger in Seoul.

Youngjae hadn’t returned home not often, and she hadn’t seen him not in a while. The last time I had seen him face to face was almost before he had gone to university. I missed him, but we talked to each other every other day and we were still close but still not as close as I wished we were.

The woman admits that after his break up with Hanbin, she had hoped he would be more likely to take the easy road and end up with a woman. I tell the woman that would be a harder path for him. Youngjae being with men doesn’t change anything. He is still the same person she raised. He’s probably stronger and more mature. He’s in this relationship and has been living well.

“Isn’t that all you should want as a parent?” I ask the woman. “So if one of your children wanted to be with someone of their own sex, you would be fine with that?” the woman was upset, eyes brimming with tears. “With the fact that they would miss out on a family life” the woman was still so backwards, she didn’t know that the times had changed, and that she had been worrying for no reason.

“They wouldn’t miss out on it” I tell her that Youngjae could find different ways to have children. And if my children didn’t want to have children then I would love and respect them as long as my children were happy. “If you love Youngjae as you claim to do, then you will push away your pride” it was a little strange lecturing an older woman, but things had been unnecessarily dragged out too long. That family needed to reunite and hash out all their problems.

The woman smiles at me and compliments me for being very mature, she reveals that with Jinwoon hyung’s wedding coming up she would have an opportunity to see her youngest child. I could only hope that they hashed things out, and maybe as Woojin had told me the night before that my best friend would return to the town he had grown up.

That day could be seen as a Choi family affair. Later that day at work, I serve and work, when I spot in the corner of my eye was Youngjae’s father Mr Choi. The man who was sat opposite a younger looking man, its very easy to see that they pair were in a tense conversation.

For some reason I can’t rip my eyes from the pair of them. I couldn’t hear them; super hearing wasn’t part of my powers as a drainer. I watch the pair, I had good sight, enough to see the little micro aggressions. The man grips onto the cup in front of him.

How did the elder know this younger smug looking man? They chat and I see the colour drain from the older man’s eyes. He sees me in the corner of my eyes. The man opposite him, sits and watches me in the corner of his eyes. A smirk stays on his face.

Did he know that I had been watching them? Was that what had amused him? Or was it something else he had said to Youngjae’s father? Who was he? He didn’t seem to be someone close to the elder. He felt like a threat.

What kind of threat and what was he doing with the man? What was he saying that had the stony faced man looking quite weak and pathetic? The conversation doesn’t last too long, and the mystery man is the first to leave, but not before he gets a coffee to drink.

The man makes short talk with me, there’s something that I don’t like when I look at him. Maybe it was the fact that he had made my best friend’s father uncomfortable, it was loyalty thing. I didn’t know but when I look at him I feel like I’m looking at someone familiar, it was quite eerie, but i couldn’t put my finger on it.

“Thank you young man” the man says with a grin on his face, before heading off out of the café with a skip to his step. Meanwhile Mr Choi sits in his spot for a little while, looking the blood had been drained from his face. I was tempted to approach his table and check up him, but before I can the man gets up and storms out of the café, leaving me ultimately curious as heck, just what the hell had happened?

It’s not until Jinwoon’s wedding that I finally do see all of the Chois. From the parents, to the children and grandchildren, they were all gathered to celebrate the special day and all seemed in really good spirits which was very promising for a reconciliation.

Seeing Youngjae, it doesn’t take long for me to realise that he was a drainer. His scent had changed, it wasn’t completely that of a drainer, but it was familiar enough to let me know just how much things had changed since I had last seen him. Hyojin and I think about what Woojin had said, it seemed likely that Youngjae’s transformation into Drainer was what he meant by accepting something different about him.

“It doesn’t change anything does it?” The elder asks. I shake my head. Nope. Hyojin nods her head, it seemed that we were both on the same page. We were Youngjae’s friend regardless and would remain that way. It explains a lot more thing for us. This was probably the reason why he didn’t come to town as often was it?

“Don’t confront him, let him come to you” the woman warns me. She felt that it would be better for the two of us, it wouldn’t back Youngjae into a corner. He had a reason for keeping it a secret and so I would have to just wait and be patient. Although it wasn’t my best forte, I would do it for my best friend.

27 years old

 

 

“How much shit did you accumulate in Seoul dude?” I ask losing my patience. We had just finished emptying one truck of belongings, and now were on to the next. All the belongings seemed to be never ending, two freaking trucks had come all the way from Seoul to Busan. It was outrageous. But still I help out my friend on the many trips we had taken up and down the flight of stairs to his apartment.

Sure I had been the person to offer my services, but my older creaking bones were starting to regret it. Of course I would stay to help, but while I was at it, I would reserve the right to bitch and complain and I knew my friend wouldn’t have any issues with it, cause he was getting free man power and he was paying me off with just a pizza.

It hadn’t been all that long since Youngjae had moved back into town, but I jumped at the chance to spend some time with the other man. Helping him move into his shared apartment was an opportunity I jumped on. The man was moving back with his boyfriend Jinyoung. The pair had moved after Youngjae and his parents had finally made up after so long.

Jinyoung had followed Youngjae out as he moved back to his home town, although the other man was already indisposed of at work leaving Youngjae alone with the bulk of the work. Still Youngjae was back in town much to the joy of Youngjae’s close family and friends. I was included, excited to have my best friend back ad close to me. I figured it would be a great opportunity to patch up the great bond that we had as best friends.

We were close, but not as close as I think we could be. We had let being in different cities affect our relationship in small ways, so I hoped now that he was back in town we could resolve that. Of course I was taking small steps towards the brotherhood we had way back in school.

With the amount of secrets that were being hidden between the two of us, the things I knew he had it hidden from me. The things I definitely knew I had hidden from him; in time I would like to clear those things up. I’d like over time to do it, but for now just seeing his face and being able to vibe with my best friend anymore.

“Stop complaining” the man reassures me we have just one more trip of things, and the rest would be left up to Jinyoung. My aching muscles were thankful for it, as I grew older it was a lot harder for me to bounce back from certain injuries. Although, being wolf still helped me heal a lot faster than someone my age.

Before I go to sleep I would certainly be aching, but when I wake up I would be good as new. That was until the next thing were to happen. Despite growing older, things didn’t seem to calm down. They were just as chaotic as they had always been.

As I head home, trudging along after nearly pulling something in my leg. I lambast myself for being too eager to help Youngjae, there was something about the man that always made me want to help in any situation. But still as my wife would lecture me on taking care of myself.

So as I walk home, I’m less than excited to finding my path was blocked by a drainer. I could tell from the smell of fresh blood and the very striking look in this drainer’s face, that I was going to have problems. A male that looked to be in his late twenties, short, with a pot belly dressed in a plan black suit without a tie, still he managed to look dishevelled and bum like.

Without even a word said, the drainer suddenly lunges at me, catching me right in my face throwing me backwards. There’s no hesitation as he lunges in again, he doesn’t give me a chance to even react. The man off his head on blood presumably, was savage in his attacks.

With no time to think of what to do, I defend myself as best as I can in my human form. That is until I am forced into my wolf form, at that point I am pushed quickly into action. I go toe to toe with the drainer, until it suddenly gives up and runs down the road.

Although I should follow after the dangerous being, to stop it from harming others. I don’t get the chance to at all, as I rush in the direction of the drainer. I find that he’s already been taken down by Hoseok hyung. It appeared that the other had been nearby and had rushed to help me.

The drainer continues to put up a fight, so much so that we have to take him down as a form of self defense. It wasn’t often that things got like this when it was just one drainer, but this blood drunk drainer would be equivalent to a drunk or high man waving around a gun. We can’t afford to let him go and he wasn’t giving us the option of apprehending him either.

Still there would be some explaining on my part to the drainer council on what had happened. I could only hope they believed me and didn’t let this be a reason to sour wolf and drainer communications. This wasn’t a good enough reason, but sometimes I worried that our natural rivaltry would be enough to get in the way of common sense. Hopefully if I spoke through Lee Woojin, I could get heard.

 

Escorting me home is Hoseok, the man had been on his way to his patrol when he had run into the scene. As we walk, the man talks about the new drainers in town, the man had run into Youngjae and his boyfriend. “Park Jinyoung is a cop on the force now” Hoseok admits he had heard some good things about him and reckoned he’d be a good ally for all of us.

The man brings up the bump in attacks and seems to think that Jinyoung would be helpful in controlling the amount of attacks. He wouldn’t be crooked like the other drainers in the police force, so hopefully things would become more balanced. And if they didn’t, then it looks like we would have a big problem on our hands.

When I do get home, I find my wife was not in a not too good mood. Hyojin is home early from work because she had to collect Jieun from home she had gotten into a fight. The younger was becoming more temperamental and was struggling with controlling her emotions. It was definitely something I had been through; it was the emotions. Her body was getting used to it.

For, now we would just do our best to lead the young lady and try and get her in control of it. Sure it would be a little irritating for now, but I could only hope in the long run Jieun would see that she had her family by her side and not to be scared of what she going through and what she was feeling.

Whilst Hyojin is downstairs cooking dinner for us all, with the help of our lively youngest child. I head upstairs to see our eldest, to see how she was doing and dealing with things. When I do get upstairs to her small bedroom, a converted pantry room with a single bed, a wardrobe and other affects cramped in the small space for hers which she seemed to be clinging onto more and more as she grew.

Heading inside of the room, I can see the girl was reluctant allow me into her room. Sat on her small bed, the petit girl was slowly growing up, her face was no longer cute and chubby, I could see signs of the face she would have as an adult and certainly she would be a very pretty girl. It was all thanks to her mother, and I knew that I would have some trouble coming to terms with the fact that my precious baby girl would be a woman.

So in this moment, I was content in her being the young girl that she was. Granted she was a little moodier and brooding more, but I knew that I could at least be there to try and cheer her up. To talk to her and be the listening ear I knew she was desperate for. Even if Hyojin suggested herself, I was sure the younger would be too stubborn to speak up. It was just fortunate that I was stubborn and force her walks down.

“What happened?” I say as I plop down next to the younger. Taking a deep sigh, the younger reveals she had been backed into a corner by some school bullies, it seemed that some of the wolf children were trying push other wolf children into an uncontrolled rage to push them into bursting so early.

Foolishly they thought it was anger that lead to things like this, and didn’t realise that it was their comradery that would do it. Once there were enough drainers of the same age around, the mid to late teens from the same pack around each other. The bursts would become more often, but for it happen in the first place, there needed to be more an urgent danger.

Like nine years ago when I had returned to Mokpo, there was a danger of the drainers and their attacks which were leading to many unexplained deaths. We had to be able to burst and to fight our enemy, but for now there was no immediate threat. So I do my best to reassure the younger. For now it would suck being around ignorant people, but in a few years it will get easier as some of the people will grow out of that.

“So I have to wait a few years to find a good friend?” the girl says with a very defeated huff of breath. I reach over to the cute younger and fluff through her hair. “I didn’t meet uncle Youngjae until I was nineteen years old, so you can wait” I pinch her cheeks a move that wins a laugh from the younger. It was progress for me, so whilst she was a more open mood I talk to her about my friendship with Youngjae. She hadn’t gotten to see much of the man growing up, but it seemed that she was curious.

Later that night, I head off out for a couple of hours just to patrol around. Joining Hoseok and I is none other than Lee Woojin. The man was getting the lowdown on the attack that had taken place earlier, and he easily promises that he would talk to the drainer council and get it sorted out for me. He seemed annoyed at the fact new drainers were being allowed to run amok, and he promises to tighten his grip around the town’s drainers.

“Well seeing as that’s been discussed. I should be heading off” the man once again takes the opportunity to watch me closely without a word. I had gotten used to the invasion of space and I just let him do as he pleased. As long as I didn’t end up dead at the end of it I was fine with it. I had grown accustomed to the man and some of his tendencies.

Hoseok who was already burst in his form, nudges me a signal that we had to be on our way and I guess we needed to do some fighting. “bye, bye wolf boys, take care of my Youngjae!”, the man waves at us with his trademark grin. The grin that hid a lot of secrets, there was something mischievous about him, but I couldn’t really question him now. Not with danger so close.

Hoseok and I go running in the direction of danger sensed, and as we get closer I smell someone familiar making me more alert. I rush quicker to the scene and find that Youngjae and Jinyoung had been surrounded by a group of drainers. There was scuffle happening, Youngjae was fighting against a small group, as was Jinyoung. They were fighting a group that totalled to over a dozen, it definitely wasn’t a fair fight.

Still, Youngjae was managing to overpower some of the drainers he was fighting. I jump in to help the pair as does Hoseok, we pull a few of the drainers off. There were blood thirsty drainers like the one Hoseok and I had to fight earlier on. They were blood thirsty and it didn’t seem to matter even if they were attack their own.

The scuffle and fighting doesn’t last too long, we do end up disposing of these drainers again. I realise it would be another call to Lee Woojin for his help, but I’m sure he could handle it. Once again, it wasn’t like we could have those kind of drainers wandering the street.

Once we’re done fighting them off, I can see the shock and surprise in Youngjae’s eyes as he watches the pair of us still in wolf form. Jinyoung not so much, not until Hoseok and I burst out of wolf form into human form. That’s when both the men’s eyes resemble saucers.

It takes a little explaining to Youngjae but it seems that Jinyoung had interacted with wolves before and was more surprised about me being one. Youngjae looks surprised to see that I was a wolf. I have to sit down and explain it to him, I bring up how all those years ago when I had seemed a little preoccupied and being around Hyojin and Bobby. There was a reason.

“Well, it seems that you can really keep a secret” the man mumbles to my amusement. I nudge him playfully calling him out on the fact he was a drainer and had no room to be speaking. Youngjae sheepishly confesses that he didn’t really know how to let me know his identity, but he is relieved to hear that I’d always be there to support him.

“Aren’t they cute?” Hoseok teases, the nude man had gotten up close personal with Jinyoung. Completely comfortable with walking around in the buff, I could see that Jinyoung and Youngjae were doing their best to be polite and look away. It was the game Hoseok liked to play of course, he was proud of his body. I wasn’t all that bothered either, but I wasn’t walking around as smug as the elder. It made others uncomfortable.

 

 

After things get cleared up between the two of us, things become a lot better between Youngjae and I. We are able to talk about a lot of things, he’s the ear that I’ve needed outside of my wife. Talking to Youngjae about my problems seemed to make things a little easier for me. I was grateful to have him around, and it seemed he was fitting back in town again. That he would be a fixture in the scene.  
•Three weeks later.

“Happy birthday Mr Im!” my gorgeous wife gives me wishes birthday wishes for the nth time today. Since I had opened my eyes this morning, the woman was making sure I could feel it. The woman had dedicated the whole day to me, to make sure that I felt special.

I had received my love and wishes from family and friends and they give me a day off to relax. Hyojin takes care of the kids sending them to her father. Hoseok takes over the business for the day. Leaving me friend to spend time with my lovely wife, which was always welcomed with open arms.

The first part of our day was at aquarium in town, it had been a staple in the town and very popular. Full of aquatic animals floating around and above us, there were blues and greens all across and around us. The beautiful creatures swim around us as we ooh and ahh in awe.

While we’re here we end up bumping into familiar face, it was Youngjae’s oldest brother Choi Jinwoon who was there with his new wife. The man is bright smiles as usual as he wishes me a happy birthday. We have a brief catch and the man confesses that he was glad to know that Youngjae was back, even if it was with Park Jinyoung.

“His boyfriend Jinyoung seems like a good guy too. I don’t see him being the one for Youngjae though” the man’s opinion seems to mirror mine. Although Jinyoung was a perfectly nice man, he had definitely great qualities, I didn’t see him as the one who would end up with Youngjae. No that space had always been reserved for Yien in my head.

“I’m glad he has Youngjae settled, and I don’t want him to get hurt, but we all know who Youngjae was meant to be with” Jinwoon comments. Solji and Hyojin both knew Youngjae and Yien’s relationship and seemed to agree. Yien was being so patient, but maybe in the future he might not always be there. “Will you always be there for him?” the man checks on mine and Youngjae’ relationship. “Of course” I answer with no hesitation causing my wife and Solji to giggle fondly. But honestly I felt like there was nothing that could end thing between Youngjae and I.

After our aquarium visit, Hyojin and I have lunch, the woman decorates the home for the dinner, she was going all out. “I love you” the woman was waiting for my favourite food that she had ordered. Sat on my lap she strokes through my hair and peppers my face with kisses. “I know life has been so hard for you hasn’t?” Hyojin seemed apologetic about something that she shouldn’t at all, she was regretful on my behalf.

“There were some things you wanted to do. To travel the world, to be a photographer, and I took away your dream” the woman says the sadness she had felt written all on her face. “You’re my new dream. You and the children. I live a much happier life with my family” I tell her, because it was true, they had improved my life immeasurably. I was a better person because of them.

“What do you love about me?” the woman had asked this question so many times, and the answer never changed for me. “The fact that you scare me” I tell the woman who can’t help but giggle. “Still?” the woman asks half amused and exasperated. “Hmmn yes, I like that you’re what leads me on the right path” I was scared of disappointing her, so I was always the best version of myself that I could be.

“You make me sound like a mother. Do you think I’m your mother?” the woman prods me, teasing me. “You remind me of my mother. You’re strong and powerful like her” it was true; their similarities were sometimes scary. “Smart like her. Sexy like her?” the older woman teases causing me laugh amused. I pinch the woman inside of her thighs the way that she liked it.

“Is that it? Did you get with me because I remind me of the lust that you had for your mother?”, the woman pushes further. I poke and prod the elder ask for her to stop. Over the years I had learnt to not take the woman’s so seriously. She had a twisted kind of humour, she had a strong cutting kind of humour and it helped if you had thick skin when around her.

Hyojin told things as they were, the woman rarely ever sugar coated things for me. Whether I was doing something wrong or right, she’d let me know straight off and for that I was grateful. For a person with so much power and responsibility, it wouldn’t be hard at all to let that all get to my head. But with the strong mother of my children by my side, I have always managed to stay relatively grounded.

So through all these years, all the trials and tribulations, the fact that we were still together and stronger and more in love than ever. I knew I had to thank the thing that I had cursed the most so many years. The imprint had lead me to Hyojin and despite how hard I had tried to deny myself, in the end the best decision I had made was to let it happen. To allow myself to let nature take it’s course.

The imprint was was nature finding me a mate, a person that I was destined for. Someone I could dedicate myself to, and I had learned over the years that it was almost impossible for anyone involved to really leave it’s grip. I had seen a few instances of such occasions, and it had led to those who had been involved to live a life that wasn’t quite as happy as they would like for it to be.

I believed that, the imprint was something lead you to a happier life. I had been happy with Joy and I could have maybe lived a decently happy life with her if I had tried. But with Hyojin, it didn’t feel like I was trying. I never felt like anything was missing. I had all that I could ever want or wish for.

A beautiful and loyal wife, and two healthy and strong children. I was living a life most would be fortunate to have. So here right now in this moment, with my wife of so many years, the love of many more years to come I take it all in. I take in the moment and hope it wouldn’t be something that I forgot. It wasn’t a moment I could imagine easily erasing.

“I know you have so much on your mind” the woman strokes my face with her thumb, her eyes searching mine. “You have this frightful man who you practically know nothing about, but you know he’s dangerous” there were no secrets between the two of us. “He’s a threat and I know you’re thinking about it, I know when you’re thinking about it” the woman prods me repeatedly on one spot on my forehead, before delivering soft kisses onto my forehead.

“Sometimes you just need to switch this off”, the pokes the side of my head. You don’t always have to be in alpha mode. “Sometimes I’d like for you to be Im Changkyun lover and sex machine” the woman says with a cheeky smile before leaning in to give me a soft kiss on my lips.

My eyes automatically close as she does my hands which are on my waist slowly travel upwards to her breasts. I simply caress the woman’s now ample bosom, the woman lets out a pleased moan, her legs tightening around my side pulling me closer to her. I knew what she was doing. She was trying to have me relaxed and take me out of my head.

To have my mind swept up in just her and not in the thoughts of fear that I had. That sometimes lingered within my head. The woman knew it all and she knew how hard it was to get me out of my own head. She was trying something very tried and tested. It was the animalistic part of me, the weakness she knew that I had for her. Sexually even after all these years and two kids, we were still active and just as firey and passion.

That night, in bed with the food that had been order we sit and we chat about the places we’d like to visit. Hyojin falls asleep in my arms. The next morning wakes up before her, when I turn to look at my wife, I find her eyes close peacefully sleeping, lightly snoring, a sign that she was tired.

I knew she was working her butt off, working in the café, taking care of the children, doing her patrols. she had to have been feeling exhausted and still she had thought of me and worked hard to make my day special. Thankful for her, I decide to do all the work today. I leave her to sleep, turning off the alarms. Leaving a kiss on the elder’s forehead, before heading off out.

I had gotten to the café to open up early. The sun hadn’t gone up. It was quiet, dark and peaceful. It was a rare and quiet moment. As I set everything up, I hear a knock on the door. It was early, who could be up here this early? As I step closer to the front door the source of the knock, I see stood there It was a shorter looking man that I didn’t recognise.

-28 years old

The elder was sat across from me, fingers twiddling displaying all his nerves. Jinwoon sits across from me in the café: the normally warm and upbeat man, was now sat quiet and sombre with a drink. He looked like he had something he wanted to tell me, but he was struggling with it. But when he had approached me to talk, there was no way that I could reject him.

“You’re my brother” the man bluntly reveals to my shock. I watch him still trying to come to terms with those words coming out of his mouth. “Lim Chang Jung…He is my father” the man pushes further to reveal something shocking to me. There was no way that this could be real.

“We’re brothers, by blood” the man was serious he had to be, who joked about things like this? I knew the elder had been adopted into the Choi household, it was well known by most in town. But he had been treated well and shown so much love by his adopted family, which included Choi Youngjae. He had always seemed to have grown up happy, but according to Youngjae, the man had sometimes got curious about his parentage.

Jinwoon had reached out to his mother, but apparently there was nothing to know about Jinwoon’s father. So I assumed that things had reached a dead end on that side of things and he had given up on the search of his father. But it turns out he hadn’t and he had gone as far as discovering who the man was. Jinwoon reveals that he had been with his biological mother in her dying days, a wish from her. She had wanted to spend time with her child, to tell him all the things he was curious about, to tell the story of his history.

I am sure it was all something he would be curious about and knowing the kind of person that Jinwoon was, there was no way he would have let the woman who birthed him die along, no matter what state their relationship would have been in. So it seemed that in her last days that he had spent with her, he had discovered the real identity of the mysterious figure. His biological father, the man who had held equal part in abandoning him.

I could imagine he had to have been extremely curious, and would have wanted an answer as far as that was concerned. I understood that, but right now I was struggling with the concept that it was the same man who I had been estranged from all of my life. But when I thought about it, maybe it wasn’t so crazy to think that the man who had left my mother to raise her child alone would have done it way before I was born.

It made me think maybe I wasn’t all that special, that maybe I was one of many children that Im Chang Jung had littered whilst on his travels across the world. The man was known for his global jet setting life, but he was so elusive and hard to find considering the fact he was a dangerous figure.

There had been whisperings that he was involved in organised crime, he was even linked in the murky criminal circle JB which Youngjae had almost perished at the hands of. I had found out that Youngjae was also my brother through blood, and now I was discovering tis through his older brother.

The world feels so miniature when thinking about how we could all be connected, and there more dots missing to make the six degrees of separation clearer. “After all these years… you were this close by” the man expresses his regret, he had been so close to my and not even been given the chance to be a brother to me. The man watches me eyes full of regret.

“You’re so close with Youngjae too… shit really this is freaking complicated” the man says as he tries to hold back tears. He looked overwhelmed and upset, understandably so. I wasn’t doing too well either, although it was taking a little longer to register with me. The fact that after three decades of my life passing, I had two brothers. 

Not long after my café revelation sit down with Jinwoon, I get home and Hyojin is there taking care of the kids. I go to the kitchen to get something strong to drink, as I stand up down deep in my thoughts. Hyojin rushes over to me, hugging me from behind. “Do you need some more time to take it all in? or are you ready to talk?” the woman simply asks, but I could tell that she had seen what was in my thoughts.

Overwhelmed by it all, I had slipped up and allowed the woman to see what was in my mind. I had been replaying the scene from the café with Jinwoon over and over again in my head. It was hard to get my head around, the reality that I had another brother of my own. Not only that but for the last decade and some change, he practically had been round the corner from me.

Reaching for the woman’s arms, I pull her closer so her chin is resting on my shoulder, and leaving no space between the two of us. Despite my body temperature being pretty darned hot, I could feel me behind her warming me up. She was such a comfort to me right now, she was who I really needed. We stay there for just a little while, before my two growing children enter the room.

The normally rowdy pair seem to sense something off in the air, and grabbing her younger sibling’s hand. Ji Eun leads Jikyu our way to envelope their mother and I forming a group hug. The distress and worry I had wipes away briefly; it completely wipes the thoughts from my mind. I take my children into my arms and pull them closer. This was the life, this is what I needed in life honestly.

Later that night I sit on the roof and chat with Jikyu. The younger boy who unlike his sister was very laid back, and loving. He had a personality that was almost impossible to dislike. The patience of a saint, and despite being such a young age, he was wiser and more mature than some of the people that I was around. I could see the younger being the one who took over me as the leader of the pack, or he could work well in leading with his sister.

Both had qualities that befitted a pack leader, and in me weren’t many years left leading. I was ready to hand over the baton, I just hoped that by the time I did I could be comfortable in handing over the reins. Not that I didn’t trust the two youngers, but because I didn’t’ want to hand them over the reins when everything was a shambles.

There was our biggest enemy on the way, someone who had put the fear of god into me for over a decade. It was the type of enemy who could end up wiping out our pack and the people that we protected. I thought about the arrival of this person every day and had to be prepared to fight such an enemy, I had to defeat him.

“Uncle Youngjae doesn’t seem to be doing well” the younger was so intuitive. He hadn’t seen Youngjae all that much since Yien’s attack, the man had pretty much stuck by Yien’s side at hospital understandably. The doctors hadn’t been able to give him the news he wanted, and two weeks into this coma, there was still no progress and good news. Youngjae of course was devasted by this all, he had gone from making up with the elder to being on the verge of losing him.

The attack itself had been thrown everyone off, we were all in shock. The same person who had killed his father, had almost killed Yien who was still in critical condition. Youngjae’s head was all over the place, and at the time that he needed her. Junghwa had gone off the map with their son.

It seemed that the woman blamed herself for the attack on Yien, the person who had thrown himself into the firing line to protect her. Not only that, but according to Hyojin, Goo Junhoe had become so problematic for her. His obsession with her was leading to the deaths of not one, but the critical attack two people Youngjae loved. I’m sure she was distancing herself from him, without knowing her actions were in fact hurting Youngjae even more.

At this time, when she could be by his side and comforting him, allowing to be with his son in this tough time. But now she had disappeared off, and it was leaving Youngjae with nothing but dark thoughts. I could sit it on his face every time that I saw him. I could see the despair, I could see how lost he was and how hurt he was with all of this.

With Yien in this condition it looked like was close to losing the person who had cared for him so much. It had to be hard for him to get his head round it. I’m sure knowing Youngjae, he was likely to want to get this sorted out before any other lives were lost, and I was definitely in the same mind set as him. But things had gone and further gotten complicated.

Not one, but three brothers, both who were the sons of the enemy was terrorising Youngjae it seemed. There was something about Youngjae that this man seemed to have chosen over Jinwoon and I, and now that his attacks were getting worse and worse, there needed to be an ending to this.

At the moment we were all banking on one person, the person who had visited me years before showing me the vision of myself, being the one who was to kill Youngjae.

The thought of it still sent chills down my spine. In what world. Would I be responsible for harming Youngjae or could I change the vision of the future? I had always been someone who was committed to seeing his well being, there was no way I could be responsible for his ending?

The vision I had been shown by the clairvoyant all those years ago. The day after my birthday, he had forced me into conversation. He had told me all about an attack that would be to happen in the future, he showed it to me. I still couldn’t believe it, that I would be involved in harming and killing Youngjae. But I had seen it with my own eyes, Youngjae was covered in blood, so much blood.

“You can’t take this all on by yourself”, Jikyu speaks up breaking me out of my trance. “You’re pack leader, you’re not Im Changkyun leader”, the younger cheekily quips. “I can see all the cogs turning in your head. You want to figure it now. You want it to stop, you want uncle Youngjae to stop hurting” the young teen is full of wisdom.

“You want the people around you not to suffer anymore. But doing it alone won’t help you” it’s amusing to hear my own son lecture me. “If you can’t trust me with it then I get it. I’m young, I probably don’t have the solution that you would need. But this pack, it’s got some smarty pants, that if they didn’t have pack duties would be across the world making big” I scoff amused, that he had excluded himself from the smartest of the pack.

Looking at my son, the one who wore the best of his mother and I’s features. I couldn’t tell if he lacked confidence in himself, or he was so confident but preferred the modest approach. Either way I make sure to playfully chop him in the neck and let him know I created no dumb children. I would be consulting him and those around me in the future.

The next morning, early morning patrol starts off peaceful as usual. I had noticed that Jieun who had come along with the pack was thinking more and more about Sora. Slipping into her thoughts, I wasn’t overhearing on purpose but in patrol there were no secret thoughts. Not apart from me, I was allowed to separate my mind to think of a plan.

I could recognise the feelings she had for her friend, there were those that had begun to bubble for me very early into my relationship with Hyojin. Kang Younghyun’s charming daughter had not only made an impression on my daughter personally, but also it seemed like she had imprinted on my daughter, they were naturally bonded.

Now same sex imprinting was very rare to come across, but it was possible. Imprinting generally helped people find not only their loves, but the person they would be best to reproduce with. So The concept of reproduction seemed to be off of the table for Jieun, but if she found herself in a happy relationship with Kang Sora then I couldn’t disapprove. If anything, I found that the young girl from out of town had done wonders with bringing my child out of her shell, giving her the confidence to be someone to speak up.

Those you imprinted on were only supposed to make you stronger. So I was nervous about the prospect of Jieun get hurt, but seeing Kang Sora, she seemed just as dedicated to my daughter. So for now, I would watch out for their blossoming relationship and talk to them if needed.

On the patrol, I feel a disturbance in the air. I could feel several drainer presences, there was fighting all over. So I rush to a field nearby the train line, that’s where it was doing down. As we rush towards it, I have a sensation in the pit of my stomach didn’t give me a good feeling.

When do finally get to the train line, I find that there was a huge fight that had broken out. A group of drainers were fighting each other; it was over two dozen people caught up in this fight. One group was bigger than the other, At the centre of it I recognise Lee Woojin who was fighting and to my surprise it was Choi Youngjae

Youngjae was fighting, he kept busy but in his eyes I could see there was coldness and he looked detached. When I follow his gaze, I see that he had been watching Goo Junhoe all this time. He was the man who had killed his father. For some reason, the three of them were gathered and I didn’t have a good feeling about this all, there was imminent danger.

On my instruction, the pack joins in, there are enough of us to hold our own. I keep my eye on Jikyu and Ji Eun but the two work well in their pair. Their team work was fantastic, they used each other’s fighting strengths and weaknesses to make themselves stronger and take out their enemies. 

None of the wolves seemed to know how things had started up. But it seemed from what we could deduce. That the majority of drainers had turned their back on Woojin, and were helping Junhoe try and take us down. Lee Woojin surprisingly was still on our side and he seemed to be defending himself and Youngjae, he was clearing up the way for Youngjae to give him the chance to take Junhoe down.

As I try and get rid of drainers, more make a surprise entrance from behind us overwhelming our small group. So any of the help I had been hoping to see to Youngjae is delayed. The drainers were eyes glossed, they didn’t seem to have anything in their minds other than killing us. They were loyal to Junhoe and were willing to die in the process.

As I fight, I see Youngjae in the corner of my eyes as he fights. Youngjae is bloodied and cut, but with the look in his eyes. He was definitely focused on cutting through the drainers who were throwing themselves in the middle of Junhoe’s path. It’s not until a smug smile goes across Junhoe’s face, does Youngjae finally step up his attacks. Using his powers, which I hadn’t seen him use since he began training, Youngjae speaks. As he does, those who meet his gaze look to almost have no choice but to follow his words.

Youngjae mows down those who get in his way, and in the blink of an eye he’s in front of a shocked looking Goo Junhoe. He had just seen what Youngjae was capable of much more. With powers like his, Youngjae was equal parts powerful and dangerous.

In between my short little fights with the persistent drainers, I watch Youngjae in action. The man was going toe to toe with his father’s killer, with the person who had attacked his mother, and his best friend who was still in critical condition. He had stalked and scared the crap out of Junghwa who had gone running, he was a villain and Youngjae looked determined to wipe him from this earth.

No matter how many tough kicks or punches Youngjae took from Junhoe or any of the drainers who came before him. There was a deadly determination in his eyes, he wasn’t leaving until he had killed Junhoe and I couldn’t blame him. Junhoe didn’t look like he would be leaving without killing Youngjae either, and to add insult to injury he was doing his best to bait Youngjae.

Taunting him, trying to get Youngjae to lose his focus when fighting. But from what I could see in between trading blows with free drainers, Youngjae was determined. Ignoring the cuts and blows delivered, not even taking notice to all the blood on his face. My heart feels constricted, I was scared but also hopeful because I knew this was Youngjae’s battle. S

Even as I’m tempted to step in, Lee Woojin steps in to stop me. He pushes me back and allows me to watch as Youngjae gets up from every one of the blows. Each time Youngjae gets up, he lunges at Junhoe with more force and venom, and each time he hits Junhoe he greatly weakens the other man.

It’s not until Youngjae is directly in front of Junhoe, both of them gripping each other’s throats. In that moment I see something in Youngjae’s eyes, he knows it’s happening. He knows he has won this, the tides had turned hugely and I don’t think Goo Junhoe knew it just yet. It’s not until Youngjae says the words, he tells the man to freeze.

Eyes wide, Junhoe is frozen and unable to move. Youngjae’s words and intention had left the man across from him unable to move. There is no thinking between then and the moment Youngjae ripping the man’s head off of his shoulders. Honestly he was so deep in the moment, he was so fuelled with so much emotion, I didn’t blame him for it. Because that man had taken away so much and caused so much damage. He had to be killed or else Youngjae would risk our so called father thinking Youngjae wasn’t taking him seriously. There were no risks to be made right now.

As soon as Junhoe’s headless body falls to the floor, Youngjae’s body seems to give out. He falls to his knees, looking down at his handy work. He was cut and bloody and it seemed like he just noticed it. He looks tired panting to catch his breath, he flops to the floor. He was covered in blood. Certain that the rest of the pack could handle our enemies. I rush to him Youngjae.

The scene looked like it had before. It was just had the vision had been showed to me years prior. But I hadn’t been the person to hurt him and the way that the clairvoyant had put it, he had made it seem like I had been the person responsible. I was overwhelmed with relief as I looked down to my best friend, to my brother, he was hurt but I knew he could and would survive this.

Once the fight is over, we take Woojin and Youngjae to the hospital on the insistence of the man. Woojin had gotten hurt but not too bad, he would just need a few blood bags and he’d be on the mend. Youngjae would take a little longer to heal, he had his blood drip and was already healing up pretty well. The obvious cuts and bruises were slowly disappearing.

The doctors were confident in his recovery and with some blood in his system he seemed to be fine. Despite his already physically health, after seeing what I had seen, and what Youngjae had had to do.

Checking in on him, I ask if he was okay. He admits that he didn’t feel any satisfaction killing the man who killed his father or had put Yien in a coma. He also still felt scared, that there was someone out there still trying to harm him and the people he treasured so much.

“Yien’s not gonna wake up is he?” the man asks, his heart breaking in front of me. I was crushed watching him and even more so because I wasn’t unable to answer the question for him. He bursts in tears seeming so overwhelmed by everything that was happening. It was the first time I had ever seen him like this. And I truly felt powerless.

Unable to do anything, all I can do is pull the other man into a hug. I pull the man into a hug and let him cry. I let him try and get it all out, I knew it wouldn’t be the end of this. The pain he was feeling, it was going to keep going, until we found a way to take him down, then there was no way Youngjae could really resolve everything. But for now, he needed this.

Later on, Youngjae goes to Yien’s room and settles down next to the elder’s side. Hooked up to a machine, Yien was still alive but he was deep inside of a coma. His body was healing up slowly, but maybe it was just his mind. After the trauma of the attack, he wasn’t ready to wake up. But I prayed every day that he would wake up, he just had to.

It seemed that he was the only one who could truly comfort Youngjae at a time like this, even in his comatose state. Youngjae lays his head on Yien’s side, holding the man’s hands, he talks to the man. I leave the pair to be alone, I would check on Youngjae later on but for now I needed to be out of here and get working fast. I had to do it, I had to find Im Chang Jung.

As I head out, I pass by on Lee Woojin. The man was on his way out of the hospital, so he escorts me. As he does I ask the man for an explanation, for what had happened earlier on. The man claims that he had planned to meet with Junhoe, to discuss the drainers and their out of control behaviours. But it turned out, Youngjae had been following him.

When Youngjae saw Junhoe he rushed without thinking and Junhoe summoned in so many drainers. Seeing Youngjae outnumbered, the man had joined in, in hopes that maybe Youngjae would be strong enough to take down Junhoe and do his dirty work. I have trouble believing the last part, I knew how much he didn’t sniff at killing others. Still, I was grateful he was with Youngjae at that time so I thank him.

“Do you think he can do it? That he can kill Im Chang Jung?” it was a surprising question he was asking. It was as if he was fine with that, that he was fine with Youngjae killing the man he loved. Had things changed between the two of them? Had Lee Woojin really come to our side, wwas he someone who I could trust. “If you want Im Chang Jung dead, then I won’t get in your way” the look in his eyes, it was surprisingly honest.

“Hyung is letting his emotions lead him. Which made him the most dangerous person he could think of” Woojin warns that that last time he had seen Chang Jung, the man hadn’t seemed all there. “I thought he was doing this all for a reason, but… I’m becoming less sure about that as the days pass” Woojin truly looked sombre. “We need to take him down” he says as earnestly as possible, but it’s enough to send shivers down my spine. Something felt odd, but hopeful at the same time. It was a strange feeling.


	18. ...Justice

Normal. I don’t think there has ever been a day in my life that I have ever felt myself feel that way. I was far from it, and it was something I figured out very quickly into my youth. I had grown up he had always found myself to be a strange person, amongst the sea of normality that surrounded me.

 

Despite all the love that my parents both showered onto me, their precious only child. The gift that great business legend Im Jo Suk and his trophy wife Song Dahyun had tried many years for. I was the result of a lot of trying, a lot of pain and emotion, I was their precious result and was treated as such.

 

From the day I was born I was treated preciously, treated as a treasure. Protected and catered to, I should want for naught. But still I was the strange boy, with two sides. The side I showed them, the one I needed to survive in my day to day. I was the smart, lively and charming young boy, full of wit and innocence.

However, there was that other side that I knew very early on to hide on, I knew it was a side that easily scared and made people uncomfortable. Not that minded seeing people feeling unsettled around me, it was just the repercussions that came with it all. The talks, the attempts to get to the bottom of what was bothering me, it was bothersome.

So for the most part, I put across the façade that my parents and those around me wanted. But deep down inside, and very early in my life, I knew that I didn’t love any of them. I didn’t love anyone and I knew I should, but I didn’t care to. I never longed for love, it wasn’t my goal in life.

My parents were not the comfort and support that I wanted. Not that they never tried, but more so I didn’t accept them. The purpose that they served was for me to survive, they had money, I needed money to survive. They had a home and clothes to provide me, not only that but they had a high status which meant that I had a high status. Not many people messed with me, knowing the Im name and the power that my family had. I revelled in it, in being able to manipulate and crush people at my own will.

The Im name had its pros and cons. The cons were much shorter on the list, but sometimes people did try to get the best of me. To use me and my name, to get what they could from me. It was annoying, but I definitely didn’t allow anyone to get one of up on me. If you tried to act against me, then I would cut you down at your ankles and make you wish that was the was the only thing you regret.

Vengeance the cruelty that came with it, it was my favourite kind of sport. Being able to assert my power over another person and crush them. To be mentally several steps ahead of my foe, and to not only find their weakness, but to toy with it and drive my opponent close to insanity. I found that feeling to be strongest that I lusted for, it couldn’t be beaten by even the best of sex at that in life.

Although the enjoyment of sex did come very early in my life, by my sixteenth birthday I had already gotten a horde of sexual expressions under my belt. Not that I was aiming for the number to grow, but when I felt like it, I did what I needed to do when I needed to do. So when the urge ever did come up, I would find whoever was nearby and willing and get whatever it is that I needed and how I needed it.

Necessity did get out of control at one point, when I stopped the ball and became less careful. I went from being uncommitted and not caring all too much, to briefly being caught up in the pity I felt for one woman. The teenager had dragged me into her little web, with her pitiful back story of abuse and neglect. I had somehow let myself feel pity.

Lee Jihyun’s childhood and early adulthood had been shaky from what I had seen of it. On coincidence I had happened to run into the woman as she was in the middle of some family conflict. She had two selfish parents, neither who seemed to think she existed until they needed help from her. This had been a constant complaint to me, she just wished that she could leave them and start all over again for herself.

So I helped her, I threw some money in her way and gave the connections that she needed. But I was someone for selfless actions, of course I asked for something in return. I asked for her to be the person who could ruin part of my life, she would be the slut who would complicate my life.

When the snobby upper class girls rushed at me, with the intention of climbing up the social ladders. Lee Ji Hyun served as a brilliant blocker for that, she was an obstacle that most weren’t willing to jump over. Some welcomed the challenge of beating down the poor girl to win the chaebol, but Lee Jihyun never backed down. Not until I told her.

The poor girl is just for fun, you can’t and won’t settle down with her. Those were the words of my father, the man understood the urges that came with being a man. Unlike my mother, he wasn’t compleltey dead set agfainst my union with her. He just hoped that I did it with discretion, without hurting the family name, cause that’s that mattered.

That’s all that had mattered for him all those years when he stepped out on his wife, and birthed a child of his own. A child he never truly acknowledged for the sake of keeping the family’s honour. Despite what my mother thought, the man didn’t ignore his illegitimate child because of his loyalty to her, it was because he cared so much about appearance.

With the perfect trophy wife, and charming son he had it all. His company was flourishing and he was known for his business prowess, he didn’t want to be known about anything else. Not his messy relationship with his wife, ad his mistress who he still kept by his side for when he needed her. He was a disgusting repugnant man, so disgusting that I became him.

When Jihyun came to me with the news of her pregnancy, I very coldly and coolly detached myself from the woman. I gave her only two options, one was to get rid of the thing, and to come with me wherever I did go. The second option, was to have the child and never expect anything from me other than monetary help. I wasn’t someone who was going to be a father, especially considering how young I was. I had so much to achieve.

Foolishly, the woman had decided to stay in Mokpo to give birth to her child. She had decided that she could not kill her child, and so I decided I didn’t need her around, I could find another woman who served her purpose whilst doing all the things that I had always wanted to do.

Quite frankly my main desire in my early life was to get power, to become more powerful than I already was, without the name of my parents. I no longer was satisfied with being the powerful son of the Ims. No I was determined that I could become not only more powerful than them, but more powerful than anyone around me.

Along my quest for more power, I got involved in a certain crowd. Said crowd dealt were part of the criminal underworld. Not long after dealing with their sorts, I really truly started feeling comfortable in the type person that I was. The cold and calculating person that I was, the heartless villain that I was came in handy in the business that I dealt with.

To stay in that world, I had to do whatever it was that possible to stay alive. To not get knocked down, to be strong and callous enough to knock down my enemy without even blinking. I had to become a savage in mind and in heart, I was to become a monster, or a drainer as what they called it. I would become immortal, feasting on the blood of the weak and climbing on their backs to become a bigger and stronger person.

Blood and power thirsty, I very quickly became a threat to those in power. They saw the young rich man, who was not only powerful above ground, but I was quickly gain ground below. With my own organisation. Soon my name became bigger and bigger, too big to ignore and that’s when the attacks began. My life was no longer safe, not if I wanted to gain the kind of power that I had always desired.

So around that I had to slowly open my circle. I had to find the most loyal yet powerful people to stay by my side. None with aspirations of their own, foolish people who only wanted for my happiness. Amusingly there was something about me that meant that there were several kinds of those people who stayed by my side and fought for me and would risk their lives for me without even hesitating.

Admittedly I had climbed up the power ladder off the back of a lot of dead people, but if they were more capable they certainly would have stayed alive. So no I didn’t feel to sad, in fact I didn’t feel any sadness. For a long time, I didn’t feel much, apart from my desire to become powerful enough to leave my parent’s shadows and maybe crush them.

However, before I could cut myself from the family tree, I did continue to humour them and some of their wishes. Travelling to Busan to look after their hotel there, building up experience in how to manage an army of loyal employees. How to have power and how to abuse it, to use people to my advantage, I was definitely becoming the evil bastard that I was meant to be. Except I did something foolish.

Letting myself get distracted, I let myself fall in love. Believing that I could have it all, I even felt that I could steal the love of another person. I could cause someone to be so head over heels for me that it would drive them insane, that’s what I had thought I was doing.

It wasn’t until I was deep in it too, that I returning the same feelings that I realised that it was too late. I had been hooked without even realising it at first, it wasn’t until I felt the slight twinge and desire to change my ways that I was forced to face reality. I was in love, and it wasn’t going to be an easy feeling to shake, try as I might I wouldn’t be able to do it.

Park Minyoung, the rascally wolf girl I had met as a child. Was in front of me, she had grown up to be this extremely beautiful but also this no nonsense heroin. At first I hated her, because she wasn’t malleable and pliable, she wouldn’t be an object for me to use. No matter how hard I tried to defeat her, in the end I was the person who had been outwitted.

The woman had flummoxed me, she had left me with my defences down. With each conversation, or argument I found myself getting fonder. With each passionate kisser or soft kiss, I found my heart fluttering like it never had before in the past. Even when we had made love, I knew the difference between that and the sex that I had in the past. It was out of this world.

For some time, I really did believe that she could be the person I could spend the rest of my life with. Park Minyoung even though she was a wolf, I knew she loved me and I hoped that love would lead her to staying by my side no matter what. She could be the strength that I had by my side, when Jia had left my side, I had hoped that Minyoung could fill the void.

The beautiful brain and brawn that would travel with me across the world, we would take down anything that came in my way. But the woman was a wholly good person, she was a wolf with a lot of pride and goodness in her. She would never travel with me whilst I committed the heinous deeds and expanded my criminal organisation across the world.

This should have been enough to leave the woman in my dust and go rushing after my dream. But I stayed around Minyoung longer, struggling with the thought of separating myself being tempted to the side of rightness. I could give it all up for her, those were thoughts that passed my head, they passed over like a hurricanes leaving me conflicted.

These thoughts were complicated, but instead of winding back and not making my situation even more complicated. I continued to act foolishly, because despite being in love with one woman. I had let my lust for another woman nearly ruin me. I had gotten myself up tied up in the web of a sneaky femme fetale, with her eyes on me from the beginning.

Not that I didn’t have my eyes on her to begin with either. Although initially I did try to ignore the woman, finding her to be so beneath me. She worked her charm and wormed her way into my affections. Shameless and sexy, she seduced me, not only with her looks but her cunning and wile. Choi Woori was a survivor, and with her special powers, she was almost unstoppable.

Through my lust for the woman, I still worked my best to keep the woman by my side. If I had her stay there and dedicated, then I could control her and defeat some of the biggest enemies we could face. So for a while I balanced the love of two women until I could no longer, until something had to finally give and that was when Minyoung announced her pregnancy.

Caught up in the wolf woman’s heat, there had always been a chance that I would impregnate the woman. So it wasn’t a surprise when she did announce her pregnancy, but unlike how I had imagined. The woman did not seem at all excited by the news. I knew it had nothing to do with the child itself, I always knew that the woman wanted children and sometimes I imagined that I could be the person who would give her those children.

Still, as she announces her pregnancy. I can see how drawn back she was. The woman announces that she would be moving back to Mokpo to raise the child there alone. She had tried to ignore my ways long enough, but now she had a child, she didn’t believe that she could let him grow up in a world where I was his father. She felt he needed a good influence.

“I want to raise a good child, and with you as a father. I can’t do that”. Despite my attempts to convince her to stay by my side, to try and change for her. I was rejected. The woman was determined, she would do it on her own. “There’s an evil inside of you, that I couldn’t change. But I don’t want my son around that” and like that, she left my life. For the first time, I had been the one who had been left in the dust.

After my first heartbreak, I wasn’t given much time to mourn the loss before another complication was thrown my way. It came in the form of the pregnant Choi Woori. The fair had come to me months after Minyoung had announced her pregnancy and her reaction was the total opposite of Minyoung’s a total difference.

Woori was proud as punch to be the woman who was having my child. It appeared that the woman really believed that she was the first person to be birthing my child. Or she was choosing to think that way, either way something about her excitement repulsed. It irked me so much that I forced her into making the decision that I had made Lee Jihyun make so many years before when pregnant with my first child.

Me or the child. I gave Woori this painful ultimatum, hoping it would tear her apart. For her to choose her child and to leave me alone, or to come with me and get rid of her child. This choice takes a little longer, and she seems to find a middle ground. She had decided to give birth to the child and give him away to her dear brother, the man who had already taken responsibility of my first child already.

Without her child, Woori joins us. We head over to Seoul after conquering the country side. I wanted to be powerful without my parents. My rebellion made me want to go as far as crushing them into dust. That dream was still alive, and so very quickly I settle in Seoul and climbing the Seoul criminal ladder. I make sure to make my mark immediately, taking down some of the biggest figure heads in the city to gain fear.

There is an attempt by one of the man who does try to get me under his wing, a huge criminal and king pin Seo Jaehyuk. The man had been running Seoul for as long as I had been born. But being as greedy as I am, I string the man along. I kept him by my side as I done with my parents, pretending to follow him and be under his wing. I enjoyed toying with him, I loved playing along with him until the day I saw the life fade from his eyes.

All with the help of my companion of the years, Choi Woori was still so dedicated to me. She had helped me get rid of a famous criminal and villain, I manage to take over and lead his own organisation merging it with my own. She was proving more useful than expected, with Woori and her powers of control, she ensured that I was untouchable.

With her help, I managed to force many people into my small circle of powerful people. From drainers, wolves and fairs, each person served their function for me. They were the defence and attack, they made sure I didn’t have to lift a finger and get harmed in the process.

It was an excellent rise to power, and I was managing to do it without consequence. Those in power, the police, the lawyers, judges and politicians, all with the help of Woori were either bought or controlled against their will. They were weaklings to be toyed with, and with them by my side, making me pretty much unstoppable.

Still, I kept a low profile. I was low-key, I wasn’t flashy in anything, I knew that if I put myself out there, I would have far too many enemies. Not only that, but there was something haunting and interesting about running things behind the scene and never being caught. Haunting not only a city, but the nation and the world. I was still gaining power.

By then I had been not only able to cut off my parents and stand on my own two feet. But I had been able to take their business colleagues and loyalties, and building my own company to not only complete with them but to take them down. I had legally ensured that I could defeat them, and despite any begging on their sides, I had achieved something that I had always wanted to do. I had defeated my very first enemies.

Years passed and I continued to travel the world growing my organisation. Making myself a figure not to be messed with. I had achieved so much, yet sometimes it felt a little lacking, and I always knew why. Because try as I might to forget about her, I could never let go of the one who had gotten away. Park Minyoung had always haunted me.

Every now and then I got updates from a private eye, concerning the fates of Park Minyoung and our son Im Changkyun. But I was kept abreast on the goings on of Choi Jinwoon and Youngjae, I made sure to see their development over the years. Despite having no desire to raise them. I had always been curious about each of my children. Fortunately, all of my boys had been taken care of by their parents.

On his seventeenth birthday, I had found myself in Seoul in the suburban neighbourhood that Minyoung had settled down in with her son. I had been there a few times to see her, to see our child in the flesh. It was never for long, but it was usually for the big events like birthdays or Christmas. The sentimental part of me won over the logic of that.

Seeing Changkyun in the flesh, it appeared that the boy was growing well. He looked a lot like me, although partly meshed with his mother, there was still some of his mother in there. The pair were in a café that they often visited together and without warning I approached them.

Although Minyoung looks surprised to see me, she doesn’t push me away. She introduces me as an uncle back from Mokpo, the younger is polite and well spoken. There’s a shyness about him. Minyoung watches me apprehensively as I chat with the young boy. Despite the few times we had met, he didn’t seem to recognise me. Something that left me feeling a pang of guilt. It was to be expected though, I had veritably abandoned him.

“You shouldn’t just come like this” the woman who had aged, now looked a lot older than I did. But still, she was a gorgeous breath taking woman. Even as a mother, she still held the aura about her, what had caused me to fall in love with her. Just looking at her, it reminded me of the feelings that I used to have in the past.

“ I have money, I want you to live in a better place” this wasn’t’ her first time hearing this. Despite my lack of desire to be there with her and raise a child, I had always been willing to provide the woman with money for a comfortable life. But still she was stubborn and determined to do it by herself, she struggled with several jobs to raise her son. Living an extremely modest life, she was struggling unnecessarily when I could be the one to help her out.

“That’s not for you to worry about, my child has lived well this way” still stubborn as usual. “He will learn to work for his money earnestly” the woman doesn’t have much more patience for me. She excuses herself away, taking Changkyun away and head away.

 

When I take a car home, she was there she was waiting for me. Choi Woori was there in the large mansion which we used as headquarters, it was a home in a guarded and secluded area. It was somewhere that I felt safe, the people who worked for me were willing to lay their lives on the line. The security was extremely tight and had never been penetrated.

With Woori waiting were a quiet and awkward looking couple. She introduces them as Seo Hyerin the daughter of Seo Jaehyuk and her boyfriend Do Kyungsoo. They were very young, couldn’t be any older than their mid-twenties, they were about the same age as Jaebum my precious little brother. These new additions had been bought in by Woori.

“They’ll be working for us” she says with a confident smirk. The woman is quick to reveal the powers that each of the youngers had. She had heard rumours about both being fairs and both being really strong. She had seen them in person, she had seen them use their powers to scam. They were pulling little crimes to survive on, but Woori had recruited them.

Woori had been determined to have them in our circle, she used her powers to give them no choice but to stay with us. After them joining our ranks, we became totally unstoppable. We went travelling across the world, and with the powers of foresight, we were able to evade capture. We avoided man conflicts and were pretty much unstoppable.

On my travels I meet Anastacia and Paulo. They seemed to have the illusion of being calm and pacifists but in a fight, I had seen that there was something cruel spiteful and unforgiving. She was someone that I wouldn’t trust. She had said she would set up a meeting for me and Michael Craven, a burly British man who was known for his upcoming blood bag trade. The man was trying to legalise the blood banks, but I was planning on working and bringing up brothels.

The meeting seems to lead to me getting my way, and with confidence. I head home, as I wait for my driver to take me home. I am jumped by an old foe Park Minkyung. I had defeated the elder in the past, and let him live. But it seemed that he still held the bitter feelings about it. Still I was surprised. For me to let him, he should be grateful and try and live his life the best he can. But no, he had the nerve to try and attack me.

It was a setup, sure the man wanted to take me down after having embarrassed him out of his home town. I had made the mistake to trust that guy like him would never have the nerve to even retaliate. The man had foolishly however tried to kill me all by himself. Not knowing that I was connected through the mind with Seo Hyerin, she woman had kept all my people connected and it’s not long before my own people come to save me.

They are ruthless and dispose of the man. Woori reveals that Kyungsoo had been able to see the attack but it was too late by the time he had warned her. She assures me she will make sure that the boy is more on his game, that there is no hesitation next time. She would punish him and teach him a lesson and he would never step out line again.

In getting to know Kyungsoo, I am aware that he was reluctant about helping me in my quest. He tells me that changing the future brings consequences, Woori tells him to shut up and just focus on his job. But even still, whilst she was wretched and vile to he and Hyerin. I was the saviour that they needed, I spoke to them nicely as possibly.

Kyungsoo seems to eventually relax when around me, although he is still reluctant to use his powers. He still does it, having found his loyalty to me the man was willing to do it to survive. So when I look at him I ask what would happen in the future when my children were adults, he does look reluctant but he does it for me.

The man says that he would need to see those children to know, so I hand him over some pictures of the young children. I can see that Woori was bothered. She hadn’t kept in contact with her son, cutting him off as soon as she gave birth. She handed the baby over to her brother who was now raising the child as his own, from what I knew of the youngest of my three child was that he was a small, mild mannered and weak child, that was according to the PI that I had hired.

Meanwhile the eldest was a kind and outgoing child who took care of his younger sibling, he was an academically smart young man who had skipped two grades and was continuing to go above and beyond. He was already graduated from law school and was working at being a lawyer.

Both seemed very mediocre children to me. Mine nonetheless, I would keep an eye on them and their growth. Meanwhile the one who did hold my name lived with his mother in Seoul the young boy was learning to control his powers. I had always been fascinated with the thought that he as half a wolf and half a drainer. He would be strong when he grew up, I knew that it would be hard work, but I would return to him and I knew that he had to get much stronger

Woori always seemed to prefer it that we travelled out of Korea, the further we were from my families. The better for her, the more she could fool herself and live her own little fantasy. She has me and the life she had always wanted, the riches, the power. She absolutely loved being my side, she was confident in her worth to me because of her powers.

During the visit to Paris, I meet Lee Woojin. The man had reputation for his powers, he was a contract killer, he was known for being swift and callous. He seems to wear an emotionless mask. There was something about him that gave me confidence. There he lived with his lover Lee Hyeri.

It’s very obvious from the first meeting that the man was infatuated with me. It’s not very hard at all to convince the man to join our ranks and he soon put himself and his skills to use. Hyeri followed him, and helped him out. Her fighting skills not as good as his, but she very deadly.

Whilst in Paris, I do find Michael Craven. Face to face with him, I meet him and with the help of my people I capture him. Putting a TRNQ in him, the man is left frozen in our last interaction. I put in pin and watch him freeze in fear. The man hadn’t been expecting to see me again, but I wasn’t one to let go of my grudges. I want to punish him.

I wouldn’t at all accept insolence. You don’t get to cross me once; once you have done it, I will end you. I will hurt you, I will hurt you to the core. So as I watch the man frozen, I let him know what I planned to do even after his death. “I will find your wife. I will use her up” I can see the spark of fear and outrage in his saucer like eyes.

“Then I’ll take your children and your young son I will kill him” I could see the veins all across his body threatening to burst, but with a tranquiliser flowing through his body. He was frozen, there was nothing he could do now. He could only hear my plans and know wholeheartedly that I could and maybe would go through with it. I revelled in it.

“Your daughter I will own her for the rest of my life” the man watches me with fearful eyes. Even after death I will continue to push him, I make sure to taunt and hurt him as much as I can emotionally before be leaving him in the dark and in despair. Once I’m done with the taunting, Woojin is there to take care of my enemy. He was quick and clean and Hyeri was quick and efficient in getting rid of the evidence, before we head back home.

When I return to Korea, I meet up with my precious younger sibling Jaebum. We catch up and discuss what had been happening as of late. He had hurt his first love and he was struggling with that. I tell him to travel and when he’s ready, he can return to a place in my rankings. I believed that the boy was so smart and was capable of so much. But for now. I would let him get over the love of his that had been haunting him for so long.

When I do return, I make sure to finish off some incomplete business. I take down father’s company, the man’s business had still been running despite me taking away most of what kept the company running. The man had been stubborn and was trying to build himself back up, so I made sure to end him once and for all.

I had tempted enough of his remaining business associates into crime and being involved with a sex slaves. I had managed to place them in a brothel which was holding many missing girls, they had been involved in a scandal and now the stock prices were plummeting. I had succeeded in ruining the legacy my father had built up for him, I was going to ensure that he paid for his actions, for treating my mother like a fool.

For throwing away Jaebum and making him feel the way that he did and lastly for trying to control me. He had gotten in the way of what I wanted one too many times and I was finally done when it came to my true vengeance. What had made me the man that I was, had finally been realised and I was so relieved about it. I could move back onto much bigger and better things.

Later when all of that is said and done, I head over to younger friend protégée Hwang Chansung. I had help him set up a business which he ran successful and under the umbrella of my organisation. He was discreet and loyal, the kind of person I needed on my side

Whilst with him, I sit to discuss Jaebum. I had assigned the man to keep an eye on him. “I might not always be around, but I need to make sure that he gets whatever he wants” I didn’t want Jaebum to struggle any longer in his life. Even if he has to act like his boss for now, I still wanted to hand the reigns back over to him.

Chansung unlike any other agrees, most that I had put in power got addicted to that power. They wanted keep ahold of the power, and it wasn’t like I was saying that Chansung would be powerless and start from the bottom. But when Jaebum was ready, he would surpass Chansung, and I wanted Chansung to support him and allow it in a natural way.

The man was always laid back and didn’t seem to mind this plan and so we sit for the night and get to talking for a little before I am forced to head back home. As I get home, I decide to make something to eat. As I do, I Watch the news and there was a news story. A singer and performer’s younger sister is killed in an unfortunate car accident. It had been raining and apparently the woman skidded off the road side. The car immediately exploded and killed her. On the screen it shows a picture of Park Minyoung… the mother of my child, the one woman I could truly say that I loved.

My mouth goes dry, my heart is racing and for a short time I blackout. When I’m finally out of it, I call my personal assistant to try and find out as much information as possible. What had happened to her, what would be happening to Changkyun and to get the information as soon as possible.

“Hyung, I have something to say” breaking my moment of silence, as I tried to come to terms was none other than loyal subject Lee Woojin. The man very rarely approached me, he seemed to prefer when I came to him. But for something urgent he would always make his way to me to inform me. I had a feeling he was here to break the news about Minyoung’s passing.

The man reveals, he was alone, usually Lee Hyeri was attached to him but it seemed with the sensitivity of the situation he had managed to evade her. Still, I was feeling a little raw and in shock. Right now I didn’t want to speak to him, I didn’t want to speak to anyone until I got some answers.

“Hyung it’s important” the man’s voice is stern and serious, he’s usually so meek with me, so for him to speak up like that, he must mean it. So I look up to the man, I quietly watch her for an answer.

“She didn’t just die, she was killed” this revelation shocks and crushes me. What the hell was he talking about? “Who by?” the question leaves my mouth without any thought. “Choi Woori” the man struggles with the confession but he admits he thought that I would need to know the truth. When I look at him, I struggle to take it all in, surely she hadn’t?

The man reveals that he had heard through one of his contacts about it all. “She set it up, I just found out” the man says solemnly, I was sure if he knew he would have stopped it. He knew how I felt for her. The guy she hired was a moron amateur who blabbed his mouth at the bar nearby.

“Take care of him” I order the man to put his skills to use, to kill the man who had snuffed out the life of the only person I had ever loved. I was boiling over with fury, I was close to exploding and it was struggle to not kick and scream and toss shit around.

“Yes hyung” the man doesn’t hesitate, this wasn’t my first time asking him to kill a person and it certainly wouldn’t be my last. “What will you do with Choi Woori?” the man was unusually curious, but I guess the situation was complicated and worthy of curiosity. Just what would I do with the woman by my side who had ended killing my Minyoung. It was easy to me, I would finally take care of her.

With my plan in mind, I put it off. I decide I didn’t want Woori to see it coming. She had to believe that I was an idiot, that I believed that Minyoung’s death was just a terrible accident. I had to treat her the same, and be extra careful around the others in our circle. She could control Seo Hyerin to reveal my thoughts, so I thought of nothing but my grief.

Despite Woori’s protests, I do go Minyoung’s funeral. I head to Mokpo where the woman was being buried by her friends and family, a huge group of wolves surround to mourn the loss of one of them. Although I’m not in the ceremony, I watch from afar.I knew that I wouldn’t be welcome, but I still felt the need to be there, to say goodbye to my love.

Whilst I stand away hidden, I am approached by Minyoung’s older brother Park Jinyoung. The man had gone from looking distraught, to being completely angry and disgusted to see me in front of him.

“Don’t you even dare involve yourself I this” the man grabs me by my collar pushing me onto the tree behind me. “You left her all alone to raise her child, and now I’m going to raise the child that you had no time for, do you understand?” the man pushes me into the tree before letting go.

The man had so much resentment for me. I understood it but still I didn’t care, I had never cared much for other people’s feelings. I was so swallowed up with grief, it didn’t feel like the feeling would ever end. I had done something about it. But before leave, I watch as Changkyun cries over his mother’s grave hurt and crushed. He needed to be stronger if he was ever going to go against someone like me.

Once I’m done with the funeral, I return to Woori. She’s on the attack, for me being insensitive and going to the funeral. She was stubborn emotional and jealous. I hated it, if she had killed her and simply kept quiet and to stop her from whining then I would do it now. But no, I would wait a little longer. I would finish off my plan.

For years I had put up with enough her whining and she had gotten far past her usefulness. I despised her and no longer needed her. I had the power that I had always wanted, I could control the people around me with fear alone. She was no longer someone I could stand to be around.

That night the woman clings close to me as we lay to sleep, she woman had calmed down and was nattering about something or other. I wasn’t paying attention, not that she ever cared.

As naturally as I can, I turn to face her looking her right in the eye. She was only weak when it came to me. With loving eyes, the woman watches me as my hands slide down her shoulders and to her neck. I wrap my fingers around her neck and before the look of fear can fully develop in her eyes, I snap her neck. Bone breaks through flesh, the blood splutters across me.

Just like that she was dead, her body was limp with her head hanging loosely from her neck. Blooding gushing to me, I get up and walk away from the blood soaked bed. I had finally done it, and the only regret I had was that I couldn’t do it continuously. I couldn’t repeat the feeling of squeezing the life out of her eyes, pushing the warmth out of her body.

Relieved was an understatement, I was uplifted to have gotten rid of that witch after so many years of keeping her by my side. I could live without her, I had freedom and it was going to be sweet. No matter, the next chapter of my life would be surely the best one.

Years pass after the deaths of not one but two mothers of my children, and I hold no home. I travel in order to build up my status, reputation power and empire. I was a god amongst men, I could do whatever the hell it was that I wanted do. There was nothing or no one who could stop me.

It’s not until I sit with Kyungsoo and check on him, how was my future looking. Surprisingly things had changed, the death of Minyoung and Woori meant that I had changed the course and destiny of things. Instead of worrying about one son, I had two children that I had to worry about.

Through the vision I had seen that I wouldn’t be facing off against the pack leader. No things had changed up, in this vision I was fighting against the son that I had always thought of as being the weakest. The one that I had paid no attention to. But it seemed over the years the man was getting stronger and was to get much stronger. He had a hidden power.

Right now I’m sure he didn’t even know it, Youngjae was too busy living his life ignorantly. The man was a little homosexual kid living in Seoul living as a drainer and studying to become a teacher. He lived an extraordinarily mundane life, he didn’t seem to be special or outstanding in any way.

Yet from wat I was seeing, the young boy was going to be the person who would end up being my downfall. A thought that seemed quite ironic, after all I had been the one to kill his mother and now he would be the person who would end my life. I had trouble thinking that he could ever be someone to kill me but according to Kyungsoo, I had a decade and half to go till then.

Ever since the death of Woori, Lee Woojin had definitely stepped out of his shell. The man was more open, he was warmer and full of excitement as he we travel the world and dominate. The man was still very loyal to me, I had made sure to keep him around, he was definitely an interesting companion to have around, but in this part of my plan. It meant we were to be separated for some time.

I tell him to stay in Korea and look after my children and set things into motion. Loving me like a fool the man agrees. He interjects with Changkyun; he saves the boy from a troublesome situation. He helps distort the future, he helps me push forward one narrative, the one that I had decided would suit me more.

More years pass and with the help of the young clairvoyant in my circle, I stay alive. I nearly pass a near death situation, if not Kyungsoo’s warning then I would be dead. My business had led to another enemy being added to the ranks, an African politician tries to kill me. Without Woori, I had to use simple and brute force and money to bride the weak and corrupt.

Something after that attack does change however. I feel myself becoming weaker and weaker. My health does take a toll for the worse, and soon I realise I was living the last chapter of my life. So instead of going out in a pitiful way, I would elongate my life, and prepare for the grand and dramatic finale. Everything had to be grand for me.

At this time, I had with me by my side, was the first woman I had truly treasured. Needing her around, I call Jia back as I had always meant to. I had taken her from the life she had built up for herself in Seoul. I had call for her return, and she had comeback. She was by my side.

Meng Jia was a Chinese girl I had met. I had been the one to kill her father, I had also been the one to save her life. She felt indebted to me, I had dismissed her and her little crush for me, and she had gone on to live her life with long term boyfriend Wang Jackson. Both happened to be familiar with my son, Choi Youngjae. Funnily enough she is still hung up on me, her feelings for me had always remained inside of her. 

Years pass, years that I spent with Jia. The woman had stayed ever faithful to me, she didn’t just work for me. She worked with me, she had decided to take up on the cause of my criminal organisation. From being a cop to being a criminal, the switch back to her old life was surprisingly easy for her.

The woman was easily ruthless, she was just as cruel as I was. She made the last chapter in my life a much easier one for me. She thought the same I was, she felt the way I felt. She was always there to listen to me, to talk to me, for company, for love, for sex. Still in her youthful body, the woman enjoyed the sex. She enjoyed sex and I played along.

It wasn’t that I chose not to. But more so that it was pretty hard for me to. Over time I has become a pathetic old man who only fooled around with different women. I had been such a play boy, but now the sickness had spread from my mind and into my body. I wasn’t the young buck I once was, it was hard to satisfy myself and my lover, but I tried.

Jia saw that, but thankfully she never pitied me. She didn’t pity me, she treated me as her equal. The equal who could stand by her side, the man with the wit and intelligence that she had fallen for. I was still that to her, so I tried a lot more to be that person.

The woman was my partner although she had taken on a lot of responsibilities. Now she was in charge of a group of drainers, drainers who take down drainers who were being used for terrorist reasons. Not because I was interested in trying to save the poor nation, this wasn’t political. It was strictly a power move, I would move my drainers into the dangerous territory which were not policed and would be good places for an empire of sex, drinks and drugs.

The drainer council, I had set it up with the help of celebrities, politicians and the gutter and underground of the world. The people who I had gotten under my wing, the people who were going to make the drainer community welcome to the world. I needed our people to be accepted, not for the good of the world but to make things easier for me. 

Some would try and takeover the community, and so I knew that I would have to keep someone around to keep everyone under control. It was someone I had known all his life, the man was the few people who didn’t bow down to me and kiss ass, but he wasn’t disrespectful. Goo Junhoe; he reminded me a lot of my dearly departed brother. I had set a plan into motion, and would one day be avenging that death.

So much time had passed and I had achieved so much, it had led me to the place that I was now but I was so satisfied. I had now finally quit my jet setting life, and was now settled very quietly into the town that I had grown up in. The town that my sons lived in, it would be the perfect place where I could end things.

In Mokpo I lived as a high ranking of the Drainers Protection Society, although I was still a pretty elusive character. I chose to work behind the figure head that was Goo Junhoe, but I was definitely who pulls the strings behind the whole operations.

Meanwhile Jia is another figure head, in front of everyone she does as I say, often she is a few steps ahead of me and already knows what I want. Along with that she keeps me company as my wife. After many years with me, she had developed genuine feelings for him.

The woman’s only request from me was that we were to marry, she didn’t want anything else but to immortalise the love that she had for me. Because of her loyalty, I had decided to give in, to be with her in a wedded love. She would be the only one for me, but only because I discovered that life was so much less complicated that way.

It had been a little while since I had decided to put my plan into action, to start my campaign. Whilst in the shadows watching on, I had orchestrated the kidnapping of Kang Younghyun. It had been a move I had made, to see if he was someone who could handle the kind of life that came with Youngjae.

My son was now a drainer; I needed him to be with someone who understood him like Jia was for me. During his capture, the lawyer doesn’t seem to be concerned about himself, he worries more for his family and friends. I watch on as he tries to escape a few time, he’s wordy. He isn’t scared nor does he believe the human versus drainer agenda that my drainer tries to frighten him into it.

Around that time, I had thought that maybe that Younghyun would be the spark and the drive that would cause Youngjae to become stronger. I was wrong about it; I hadn’t known at that time that Tuan Yien was actually the one my son had wanted. But still, I had seen that the loved ones in Youngjae’s life would be the driving force in his life.

Youngjae did rush to his man’s side, and faced off against Jia. Changkyun had come along with him and in the end Youngjae’s old flame Park Jinyoung had intervened to help. I watch on as Youngjae confesses to his lover that he was in fact a drainer. And instead of the fear or disgust that I assumed he expected. Youngjae is surprised to be wholly embraced by the other man.

With that kind of love and support, Youngjae was bound to do anything to protect it, even to put his life on the line. But very quickly I was proven wrong, without the foresight of Do Kyungsoo, I wasn’t able to see Youngjae end things with the elder. He had ended up with Yien and was pursuing his relationship with the man who had always appeared to be just his best friend. However it was becoming obvious that he had a weakness for the man and that could be something that I could use to my advantage.

While this is all going down, I find that Jia is left a little withdrawn. She had been this way since returning from Seoul and discovering that Jackson had moved on with her and had gotten married. Not only that but he had gotten married to the woman he had once put behind bars. He had a child with Wang Fei Fei and was doing well, it looked like she was struggling with the reality of being forgotten.

I had given her to opportunity to return to him many times, but it seems her feelings for me had become stronger than she had wanted. She stayed with me out of love. The woman was determined to see through our marriage, to stay by my side and fulfil my wishes.

The woman was still surprised about Youngjae, after her face off with him. Jia fought with Youngjae, she was faster and stronger. He hadn’t yet unlocked his full potential, but the man was slowly becoming the fighter that he could be. Although he had done it unwittingly, just by his words he had controlled Jia and could have killed her if he wanted to.

Fortunately, the man didn’t know that and when he had let his guard down. With his weakness, he had let Jia out of his powers and Jia had been able to make her escape. That face had been eye opening for us, the man had the same powers as his deceased mother and it seemed that he needed to be pushed further to use his powers and try to harness them.

So the next step was to make him lose someone in his life, someone important. That person’s death would leave him feeling some guilt, and it should be enough of a push for him to try and unlock and maintain his powers. I was allowing Seo Hyerin to go unchecked and help Youngjae gain his strength, she wold be the key to unlocking his strength.

Sure it took some time, there was some waiting on my end. I had to wait in pain patiently, taking any and all precautions to keep alive. The reason I lived was to meet my son face to face, and to take him down. Before I died, I had to crush the boy down into dust. It would be my last great victory before I would die.

Youngjae struggles through the tests that I do throw at him, not only was I attacking his family and friends relentlessly. I had killed his father, traumatised his mother and caused his older brother to grow to distrust drainers, the people who had killed his loved on. Still impressively Youngjae powers through it.

The next test comes in the form in Park Junghwa, she had always been in Youngjae’s life. I hadn’t known what part she would play for Youngjae and until I was done with her then I would make use of her. She had loved Youngjae to a fault. I would use that to my advantage, I needed her if I was going to get Youngjae to hate me.

Even better was that fact two years after their tryst, she had divorced her husband in order to birth her illegitimate child of my sons. She had given my son something bigger than himself to fight for, something that would help him fight back to me with all of his might.

The plan was to end the woman’s life. I had instructed the loyal follower Goo Junhoe. I had instructed the man to kill the woman, after all he had killed Choi Woobin so I knew he could kill the wolf and mother without any worries. I had thought the man would manage this, but that was because I hadn’t been aware of the man’s feelings for Park Junghwa.

I hadn’t known of their short relationship years ago, before Junghwa had gotten pregnant with my grandchild. The man had remained enamoured with the woman and had hoped to win her back, despite her obvious love for Youngjae. He was determined to win her back, and so when I had ordered him to try and kill her, he had deceived me.

The man had planned to fool me, to kidnap Park Junghwa and replace her body with dummy filled with her blood. A very intricate and fraudulent plan, something I am sure he was confident he would succeed in. The man had planned to keep Junghwa by his side and the two would run away, he foolishly let his love cloud his loyalty towards me.

In the end, as he tried to put his plan into action. He didn’t expect to be interrupted by none other than Choi Youngjae’s boyfriend, Tuan Yien. The man had come to visit Junghwa to talk to her, but he had ended up walking in on Junhoe trying to force Junghwa along with him.

Without thinking the man had intervened in, stepping between a dangerous killer and the mother of his boyfriend’s son. He hadn’t thought of his own life, instead he had blocked the killer from the pregnant woman. Taking any abuse that was thrown at him, he was kicked, pushed and cut until he was bloody and blue. Yet still, he never gave up on Park Junghwa, he was beaten until he was half dead.

 

It wasn’t something that I had planned, but It was definitely something better than anything I could have meticulously planned. With Yien critically injured in a coma, I was very confident that this would be enough to push Youngjae into acting. He would do everything in his power to find me, to try and take me down and with his powers, he would certainly make things interesting for me.

The first real indication that Youngjae was finally ready to go against me, was during his fight with Goo Junhoe. I had led the man to his death, knowing that Youngjae was following Woojin, I had gotten him to meet up with my former ally under the pretext of a talk. He was to talk to Woojin and try and figure out what his head space was, but in all honestly I knew it.

It wasn’t hard for me to figure it out, the man had gone over to the other side. He had been swayed by his fondness for both boys, more specifically Changkyun. The young pack leader and he had formed a trusting relationship, it had meant that Woojin slowly and surely withdrawed from me and the circle of trust we had built.

Woojin had gone soft, and right now I didn’t need him for anything else. So if in his meeting with Junhoe, things went left then I didn’t mind. Junhoe had many powerful drainers escorting him, so I was sure if it did turn into an altercation, then Woojin would be taken care of at the very least. I had been very confident that if Youngjae did come, he could kill Junhoe and get rid of my problem.

However, what went down instead had left me quite surprised, instead of barely getting by and defeating just one enemy. Youngjae with the help of Woojin and Junhoe cleaned up the force of drainers that I had sent and in that fight, Youngjae had freely used his powers to get rid of the enemies he faced. Including Goo Junhoe, the man who had caused him so much pain and left him and his loved ones in despair

With Youngjae’s full potential unlocked, I am confident that everything will fall into place. So I give him a little longer to find me, to locate me and to fight me. He would have to go through an army of loyal soldiers and woman who I had married, but something in me trusted my son to be able to pull it all off and finally meet me face to face.

Returning from their trip to Korea, Park Jinyoung and side kick Shin Hoseok bring with them Do Kyungsoo. The clairvoyant, it had been years since he and his wife had ran away from me. After I had forced him to set Youngjae on the path to Park Jinyoung, the man had cut himself off from me. He had gone into hiding, with the help of another one of his fair friends. It had been impossible to find the man, he wasn’t with his wife and his wife would die before she let the location of where he was staying slip.

So I had given up on him, believing I could fulfil my own wish without him. In truth, I had. I had managed to get Youngjae up to this point, I had pushed him to his limits emotionally and now he was much stronger for it. I couldn’t help but feel proud eventually as I faced off with the young man.

With the help of Kyungsoo who had used his clairvoyance to lead Youngjae to the secluded property that I stayed in. A large mansion with several acres, fit for a fight of this grand scale. The scenery was beautiful, it was calm and peaceful and no one had been able to successful penetrate the security of foolishly loyal drainers that guard me. Not until today.

Early in the morning, I find the property was on high alert. The house was surrounded; it was surrounded by the wolves of Mokpo. Lead by Changkyun, they were the first wave who would be breaking through the exterior round of drainers. With those busy, there is a large group of drainers that enter the house to take on the interior drainers.

That’s when it all got chaotic. Both sides appeared to be very strong, people from Youngjae’s allied forces who I recognised as the il proterri. The once elusive organisation had teamed up with Youngjae, and were now fighting against my forces. The organisation was made up of very powerful drainers, they were not to be looked down at.

Amongst the fighters today, there was Jang Wooyoung, Kim Ki Bum, Baek Yerin, Park Joongki and Kunpimook Bhuwakul. These were people I knew of, I kept eyes and ears on the il protteri at one time. Believing they would be a threat, that was until the drainer councils came into play. It made organisations like il protteri null and void.

At least that was what I had thought, I had thought that with legal organisation doing what they did. Then they wouldn’t be able to survive, but I was wrong, cause here they were. They were just as powerful as I had always known them to be, their force was keeping my interior forces.

Park Jinyoung, Youngjae’s former lover had joined the interior fight. The man went up against Jia, his former friend and colleague. They had been pretty close, that was until she had left her world to come and join me. Now they were enemies as Jia coldly put her feelings aside, she was going to fight whoever tried to come at me and she would kill them.

With everyone left busy and fighting against each other, it left Youngjae free to take me on. The man and I face off, neither of us moving despite the fact that we were in the middle of a chaotic battle field. The young boy experiences a bevy of emotions, from being surprised and extreme confusion. To looking very bitter and upset. I’m surel he has a lot of flowing emotions, but there was one dominant emotion. It was one that I loved to see. It was something that seemed to suit his face, he was determined. He was going to kill me and take me down, but I wouldn’t make it easy for him.

“Son, you’re here” I tell the boy, with the intention of riling him up. “Did you miss you real father?” I continue to poke the bear; I can see Youngjae was stood there in pain. He was struggling, I’m sure he was obverwhelmed by all the emotions he was feeling, he hadn’t caught up yet. “I’m surprised you made it this far, I guess any child o fmine could be strong enough to”-

Without saying a word, Youngjae leaps at me. Youngjae eyes clouded with anger, he lunges towards me. He was full of the intention to kill me, and I was glad to see it. I enjoyed seeing the passion. But I have to fight one on one with Youngjae, and the man is strong.

Physical fighting was very rare for me to do, but it didn’t mean I Was weak. I had defeated many strong enemies all with my physical strength, I had fight Youngjae. I dodge and duck and land a few punches. But clouded by anger Youngjae is able to lands more blows to me. It was more painful over the years to feel the attacks. There were cuts, and scrapes, and the more Youngjae sees me that way the more it seems that he was covered in blood.

Moving quicker to see the attacks, I could see the irritation on Youngjae’s face. The more I dodged, the angrier he seemed to get, so I keep pushing. Pushing and pushing him, dodging his attacks, striking him back and outwitting him. Youngjae doesn’t give up, and its not until the younger boy shouts for me to “STOP” and my body freezes.

 

My body is stuck, working almost like a tranquiliser. Youngjae’s words had me frozen, I couldn’t move, my muscles, weren’t working in cooperation with my brain. I felt so helpless, I definitely hated this feeling. I was at the mercy of the child that I had abandoned, the young man who was getting stronger and stronger in mind and in powers.

It hadn’t taken all that long for Youngjae to subdue me, in fact it would have been a lot quicker for him if he had foregone the fighting. The man seemed to want to get his aggression out his system, and now that we were both bloody enough, it seemed that he was reminded of something. The look of anger, bitterness and distraught is still there.

“Why did you do it?” the man asks; I can’t answer his question. “Why did you kill my father?” I can’t physically answer him. The truth was simple, I had always hated the man. I had always been jealous, that the man could be good, that he could be kind, that he could rightly raise the children I abandoned. He was a better man than I was, and I hated him for it.

“Why did you hurt my family? WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO YIEN” with tears streaming down his face, the man seems to come undone. He was coming undone at the seams, he was overflowing with so much emotions. “Why should you be alive, when you’ve taken away so many people that I loved?” red in the face, there’s a shift in his face.

Youngjae goes from looking broken down and upset, to looking angry, and murderous. My heart beats fast, because I know what was happening. I know what Youngjae was feeling and the way things were going now, I could sense the end of my life, and surprisingly I was scared.

“Youngjae don’t do it!” a voice shouts out through all the chaos, the voice is enough for Youngjae to pause. The younger was still gripping onto my collar, but he turns to look for who had called him. It was Park Jinyoung, the man had seemed to gotten the upper hand against Jia. The woman was frozen, she had several of tranquilisers inside of her.

“DON’T DO IT” the man yells once again. “That’s what he wants” the man tries to sincerely plea with Youngjae. That killing me meant that I would be getting my way, I waouldn’t be getting the true punishment that I deserved. The man was determined to push Youngjae to pulling back and not killing me. “He needs to pay for all the people he has killed, the people whose lives he had ruined” he continues to yell through the chaos to reach Youngjae.

“Your family has to see justice!” Jinyoung keeps going, until it looks like Youngjae was listening. His resolve was breaking, the young man lets go of the collar and slowly starts to back away. He still looked conflicted, the bitterness and hatred was still in his eyes again. He truly hated me, knowing that hurt more than I could ever expect.

The pair watch me, neither speaking a word. As I face off against Jia, thinking of the reality that we would spend the rest of our lives incarcerated. Surely there was no way we would be let to go free and we would be made an example of, the drainer community to survive would surely drop us in it. I was done for, unless I really planned it out well.

“NO!” Youngjae and Jinyoung’s eyes suddenly pop out, with eyes as big as saucers. Suddenly a warmth around my shoulders, it wasn’t a human heat but it was still warm. “Hyung, I’m sorry” I hear the family voice whisper to me. The last thing I see are Youngjae and Jinyoung coming over to me, it’s then until everything goes bla-.


	19. ...The End?

Youngjae's POV

 

It was pretty impossible to wipe the image from my head. It was cold, calculated and gruesome. Of all the things I had seen in my time as a drainer, this was the one that was sticking. Understandably so, just ten minutes after meeting the father who had abandoned me so many years ago. I had witnessed his swift assassination at the hands of his most loyal subject. He had been killed even before he could realise it was happening, or maybe that’s what it had seemed like. He had seemed too relaxed and chilled out in such a relaxed situation. Or maybe it was the fact that I had frozen him.

 

Using my powers, I had cut short what could have been a raging and bloody battle between the two of us. I was far too angry and caught up in the grief to continue fighting the man, I wasn’t going to give into his wishes. I wasn’t going to allow him to have the battle royale that he wanted between the two of us. Although he had set it up that way, with his legions of supporters there to stop us as we had gotten to his large compound.

Despite weeks passing, and many showers later. The sight of man’s blood splattering on my face, as his head rolled away from his body was still freshly printed in my mind. I kept repeating the scene in my head, I had gone from being so furious and determined to killing the man. To being reminded by Jinyoung, that the man had to be accountable for his actions and having that opportunity taken away from me.

It was safe to say that I was bitter, after all the trouble I gone through things had ended so anticlimactically. I should have unfrozen the man and gotten answers from him, but I had honestly thought that I would get those when he was under maximum security incarceration. I didn’t think it would be an easy process, but I wanted to hear it from him. I wanted to know why he had made things get to this point, past repairing?

All of what was happening seemed to be for nothing, not if I didn’t get some answers from him. But that was all taken away from none other Lee Woojin, the man who had led us to him. The man had displayed conflicting behaviours and I couldn’t get my head around it. Why had he done it? Why had he promised his loyalties to Changkyun and I, only for him to go against us and kill our messed up father.

After the attack by Goo Junhoe, I had taken to staying by Yien’s side. Granted I was doing it all in the presence of his mother, the woman who was definitely a big fan of me. The woman reluctantly allows me to stay her son’s side, knowing that Yien would be against us fighting in this time. So with her, I sit by Yien’s side praying that he would wake up. Praying that he would be able to bounce back and be the man that I loved.

The man had had been in a coma ever since he had thrown himself in the line of Goo Junhoe’s attacks. He had kept taking hits that no normal should be able to take, but he had done it to protect Junghwa. He had stayed with until the help that she had called from her pack finally made it to them. He had held on so tightly, he wanted protect her and my child inside of her.

For weeks the man was hooked up to a machine that was breathing for him, he was eating through tubes. There were signs of life, brain activity was there, but according to the doctor, there were just some cases in which the patient was left so traumatised that it took them longer to wake up out of their comatose stated. Yien had taken a great beating, and he was clinging onto his life.

Waiting for the man to wake was excruciating, it was so heart wrenching he was where he was because of me. Because I had an enemy who was determined to pull me down, limb from limb for his own sick form of entertainment. It was because I had been weak, because I had pushed Yien away at the moment when he needed me.

If I had been straight with him about getting caught up in the haze with Junghwa, if I had let him known that it was happening. Then maybe he would have understood straight away. The man was reasonable, he had shown that in the end by forgiving me. Still, he had to have been hurt by the fact that I lied to him when we were together in a relationship. I could understand why he had cut me off for some time.

So after we had just reunited, for him to be beaten with an inch of his life. I was boiling inside; I was stewing with hatred for the man who was behind of all this. I had caught his unwarranted attention, but I would make him regret it. It was a foreign feeling for me, but the desire to get revenge was the most desirable thought I’d had of latterly. The concept of ending the life of the person who had done this to my family, to Yien. He had to die.

Sensing something in me was stewing, Yien’s mother instructed me to leave. It was more of a stern warning, she didn’t believe that the way I was being was good for myself. And she didn’t want to see me around her son while I Was being like that. She tells me to go home, and rest there for a while until I could get my head in a good place.

Left with no choice but to leave, or to be escorted out. I follow the woman’s words and leave the hospital, but instead of heading home like I had been ordered to do. I head over to where I knew that Lee Woojin would be, well where I heard he was staying. Jikyu had been keeping tabs on the elder, the young wolf wasn’t very trusting of the elder as his father was.

The young had aired out those feelings earlier, especially when he had heard that he had returned to town. There was something suspicious about the man, and even though over the last decade he had stayed pretty loyal to Changkyun. There was still that connection to Im Chang Jung, just that connection was enough to make him less trustworthy to me.

Following the younger’s directions, I had made it to the train station that Lee Woojin was stationed nearby. On the way the to the home he was staying in, I had run into a what looked like a face-off between Lee Woojin and Goo Junhoe and some drainers, which all looked to be on the side of Goo Junhoe.

Despite being a psychopathic murderer, the drainer council had put little or no effort in finding the man and punishing him for his actions. I had given evidence, he had been the person to call me and revealed he had killed my father and attacked my mother. On top of that, my mother had finally gotten the courage to give a witness review to the police and the council.

The attack on Yien had also been attached to Junhoe, with Junghwa giving the evidence she did give to the police and council all before she left. There should have been action on the council’s part, they had more resources to find criminal drainers, they could get them under control. But realistically, they were run by crooked people who had worked with Goo Junhoe himself.

It was frustrating that a person could have gone on a rampage, reaped all this havoc and ripped a family apart. Still months later he hadn’t been caught, or rather the effort wasn’t being put in. Apart from Jinyoung and his team of officers, but even in the police force the criminal tentacles of the criminal organisation JB was still holding on tightly.

After so long alluding everyone, here he was. Goo Junhoe was standing outside out in the open, he had back of dozens of drainers and they were all facing off against Lee Woojin. The man who had once been the lead drainer in town, someone who was so powerful that none of these drainers would have been bold enough to face off against him not too long ago.

However, it seemed that in recent times, the hierarchy of the drainer community had changed. The man no longer seemed to cause fear in the minds of these drainers, they seemed confident enough to back the dangerous killer Goo Junhoe. As part of the drainer council, it seemed that he was now a person who held more clout.

Ironically, despite being a cold blooded killer. Goo Junhoe was here with back up, he was acting and playing tough as he faced off against Lee Woojin. But the oldest man’s reputation must still be very overwhelming for him, on a one to one, I’m sure Goo Junhoe wouldn’t be so bold.

Stood there dressed pretty smartly considering where he was and what he was doing, Goo Junhoe had a pink blouse on paired with a fitted pair of ankle smart trousers. Finishing off the look was a pair of smart black pumps, the look seems to catch my attention and really frustrate me even more. It made me realise that the man wasn’t really in hiding, he was still probably living comfortably while the powers that be blindly turned their eyes on him.

The more I stood there watching him, the more my blood boiled. How could he be so confident? How could he be standing there as if he hadn’t killed a person and nearly killed two. One of which was in a coma right now, he looked like he didn’t have a care in the world. He had nothing to worry about, the laws that had been put in place for normal average joes weren’t reaching him, he had escaped justice.

That thought is enough to drive me insane, I black out briefly. One moment I go from hiding out and watching the scene, to diving right in and fighting against a group of drainers. I was out numbered, but I was determined to get through these drainers. I was determined to get to Goo Junhoe and dish out the justice that he was long overdue getting. I would kill him.

My rage is red, and hazy. I can barely think logically; I was being lead across this space with all of the emotion in my heart. All the pent up anger that I had been feeling since the day that my sister and her husband had been attack. It had been slowly building up in me and was making it harder for me to live in a world where I could potentially lose the man I loved.

All of it had finally come crashing down on me, the fear, anger, the pain, the uncertainty and it had manifested into this rage. There was no way I could leave here without killing Goo Junhoe, I wouldn’t leave her unless he was dead. If that meant that today was the day that I died, then I would gladly do it, I would remove this scumbag from the world with my own hands. I had to see it with my own eyes and make sure it was done with my own hands, I wouldn’t give up.

Ignoring the pain I feel from the dead of blows from kicks and punches, the continuous stabbing. I keep going determined to chop them down, when the group of drainers grow, I keep going. At some point I’m joined in fending them off by not only Lee Woojin, but also Changkyun and his wolves had joined me in this fight. I am spurred on more by the sight, cause I know Changkyun would back me up no matter what.

It’s not until I see across the battle field of sorts that had formed, that I see Goo Junhoe grin in my direction that I gain the strength. I cut down the drainers who were defending him, I take advantage of all the help that Changkyun and his wolves were giving and I head over to Junhoe. The closer I get to him, the more of the cocky grin I see on his face wipe away.

After some fighting I found myself in front of Goo Junhoe. The enemy who I wanted to cut down the most, he had been the one who had used his hands to slam my father’s head on a concrete wall until he was unrecognisable to his wife. He had traumatised her, he had taken away her love for the home she had raised all her children. The home she had no thoughts of leaving.

Goo Junhoe with his hands been the one to beat Yien bloody and blue. Until he had swollen up, till he looked like a completely different person and although most of that had gone down. The elder seemed to be hiding inside of his consciousness, too traumatised by what had happened to him to even think about showing up again.

Getting impatient, I cut down those who get in my way, and in seconds I’m in front of a surprised looking Goo Junhoe. The look in his eyes, it seemed that he had thought very little of me and was now seeing what I was capable of. Except he hadn’t really seen anything, I had kept my trump card hidden.

Finally, I was face to face with his father’s killer, with the person who had attacked my mother, and had left my Yien in such a state. Goo Junhoe had terrorised my family, he had stalked and scared the mother of my children until she had been forced to go on the run. I was going to kill him, right here today while he was in my reach.

The infamous drainer is the first to swing at me, he had built up such a tough reputation through reports on tv and word of mouth. He had gone from being the spokesperson of the drainer council, to now being Im Chang Jung’s hench man. The tool who was used to try and get to me, it didn’t mean he was not responsible.

Junhoe had been the instrument made to cause fear to my family, he had almost ripped us apart and I would make sure to make him regret it. So I fight the man, he is a fierce fighter very quick and powerful and is a little overwhelming to begin with. The rapid and powerful kicks and punches I readily take in order to get in my counters.

Those actions seem to piss of the man, the fact that I seemed to be defending myself. Junhoe didn’t look like he would be leaving without killing me either, as we fight the man throws in the insults.

“Wow Choi Youngjae, you’re more powerful than I thought!” the man exclaims as he manages to dodge one of my attacks. “Your father must be proud… the one that’s alive” Junhoe snarkily remarks, trying to taunt me. I could tell that he was trying to get me to lose my focus, but little did he know I had been trapped in this murderous haze and he was only assisting in his own demise, the angrier I got the stronger I was.

Ignoring the cuts and blows delivered, I close the space between the two of us. I could feel the wetness of my blood, I could feel the sting but I didn’t care, it was enough for me to power me up.

Each time I get up, I rush at Junhoe with more strength and malice. Every time I land a blow on Goo Junhoe it significantly weakens the other man. I keep going until I am right in Junhoe’s personal space, I don’t think twice to grip his throat. Goo Junhoe does the same to me, he squeezes but by then I had already gotten what I wanted. I knew that I had won things.

Barely squeezing the man’s throat, I didn’t need to make so much effort. I just needed to look him directly in the eye, and let the energy pulse through me and get to him. My powers which had been so unpredictable for so long flow through me with the right intent, they work so well.

Suddenly the grip around my neck slackens, I pull away out of the man’s grip and stand in front of Youngjae. I was comfortable, I was confident. Eyes wide, Junhoe is frozen and unable to move. My thoughts and intention had left the man stood in front of him unable to move. Without hesitation I lunge at the man ripping the man’s head off of his shoulders. Kicking his body down, I reach for his head and pull it off of his shoulders.

Just like that, I’m wordless because nothing needed to be said. Nothing else needed to be done, as blood splutters from the dead man. I had achieved what I needed to be done. Once I hear the thudding of Junhoe’s headless body falling onto the muddy floor, something in me clicks.

My knees buckle beneath me; I fall to my knees. The red disappears and all that’s left is a haze. I was cut and bloody and looking down I see to what degree I had let my body get to this state. The fatigue suddenly starts to hit me and I take notice of how messed I was. As I try to catch my breath, I spot Changkyun above me, he was in his wolf form. I could see the concern in his eyes, the man must have had a hard time seeing me like this.

Eyes closed, it’s not until a few hours that I do come to. I am woken up to the face of a very worried looking Changkyun, he was looming over me as he had before I had lost consciousness. As I come to, I find that I was in the hospital. I guess in my unconscious state I had been bought to the hospital to recuperate. Looking down at my arm, I could see I had been attached to a blood bag. I had healed up, the cuts and scrapes were gone. I was as good as new physically, mentally things were different.

Once the doctor gives me a once over, I head over to Yien’s room. Changkyun was in tow trying to convince me rest up, but I couldn’t really hear him nor did I want to listen to him. I felt empty from all that had happened, and I needed to be by the side of the person I cared for the most. The person who had always been my side, I needed to stay by his side.

Yien was still as he was when I had left him, he was still unconscious not moving and hooked up to machines. His mother was sat asleep by his side holding his hand, she looked very tired but had kept a vigil by his side. The woman looked to be holding on by a thread and that’s all it took for me to break down into tears, the tears that I had been holding back.

“Yien’s not gonna wake up is he?” the question leaves my mouth before I can really stop myself. I know Changkyun won’t have an answer, he won’t give me the answer I wanted to hear. He’s not that kind of person, to give me false hope, he wasn’t that kind of person.

However, I couldn’t help asking him, because right now my heart was breaking. It wasn’t the first time I had been heartbroken, or maybe it was. I had thought before what I had felt with Hanbin and Jinyoung was my heart-breaking, but this feeling. The feeling I had tried to avoid so much with Yien, it was reason that I had pushed him and his love away.

If he died then what the hell was I supposed to do? I couldn’t just go on living? In a world that he didn’t exist in? I didn’t think that I could do it, I had just managed to get back up after my father’s death. But I didn’t need the man as much as I needed Yien, I could live without my father but how I could live without the love of my life?

Overwhelmed by the intenseness of the feeling, I burst in tears. Everything was getting to me, I had tried to be strong and hold back from doing all of this, but it seemed that I couldn’t hold it any longer.

Within seconds I feel the other man pulling me into a hug. His stronger arms wrap around my body, and his hand patting my back lightly to comfort me. The man is silent, he just holds me like that letting me cry and get it all out. This was the first time that I had cried in front of the other man, I had tried to be so composed in front of the other man all these times but here I was. Weak and lost, the man thankfully is there to comfort me.

Once I have cried it all and composed myself, Changkyun excuses himself. He tells me that he would be back, but he needed to sort something out. The busy pack leader must have so much to do, but he had stayed by my side to take care of me, to take care of his younger brother. That’s who I was to him, he was yet another brother who I could surely depend on. 

Later on I go into Yien’s room and quietly settle next to Mrs. Tuan. Not saying a word, I simply reach over to Yien’s hand and I watch the man. The older woman doesn’t say anything, she reaches over to my shoulder giving me a squeeze. It seemed that just seeing me was enough, like all she had wanted was for me to go and rest and come back a little more refreshed.

“When he wakes up. Take him to nice places” that’s all the woman says before sitting back in her seat to watch her son. She still hadn’t lost hope and I couldn’t dare either. I couldn’t give up on him. Just watching I know that the man had been fighting harder than I had today. He had to be one step closer to getting up than I had been.

The next morning once again on instruction of the elder, I leave Yien’s room and head out. I would go home, wash up and rest up and come back with a good attitude. That’s the plan, but as was the pattern in my life recently. If I had something planned, there was something conspiring against it.

Today it was not only my older brother Changkyun, but also the man who had helped us fight and defeat Junhoe and his drainers. The man was officially on our side, apparently he had long lost his blood lust. He was a changed man, and now that he had he had been thrown away by Im Chang Jung. The man had even gone as far as sending Goo Junhoe to assassinate him, all because he didn’t follow his words anymore.

Originally Lee Woojin had been instructed by Im Changjung to kill both of my parents, and Junghwa and each time he had declined. Seeing his defector as a problem, Chang Jung was determined to have him killed. With that in mind, Lee Woojin decides the way to survive now is to attack straight on. He offers his help, he was going to find where Im Chang Jung was based and we would attack him. By the end of the day we would be there, so for now we had to get our people ready.

The allied side were pulling our forces together. Changkyun had gotten his pack ready, and was just waiting on word from Lee Woojin. As we waited, we chat a little, the anticipation was getting us a little too worried. “You’re my brother I will risk my life for you always” the man reassures me that he had my back in all of this. He trusted me to take down Im Chang Jung, and he would support me. He was going support me and I give him to mine.

Seeming to sense the urgency of everything, Jinyoung and Hoseok return from Amsterdam after spending weeks on a search for Do Kyungsoo. With the help of the il proterri, they had managed to track down the clairvoyant, and had bought him back all the way to Korea. They had convinced Kyungsoo to help us, he would be leading us into the mansion with his powers foretelling any troubles and giving us enough time to plan against it

Jinyoung on his way back had called in the help of his own cavalry, Suji, Min had joined him and travelled from Europe with him. Jackson had also come from Seoul and was ready to help me take down the head of the JB network, he had an enemy to take down. Not only had Im Chang Jung ordered the death of Youngji his first love, but Jia had gone and defected to his side.

Jackson had his own to get back at the man outside of his professional cop attitude. He, Min and Suji go to the hospital to see Yien lying there, and its quickly decided by the three that they would stay by Yien’s side whilst we were all fighting. They wanted to stay in case my father had something up his sleeve, it leaves me feeling assured before I leave.

“It’s not your fault” Jackson man hugs me; he says the words that no one had really thought of saying. “I want you to come out of this alive. I want you to be the same Youngjae we’ve always known” the man pats me on the head, he watches me concerned. “Don’t lose that in this revenge” the man who knew the desire of revenge was trying to lead me from leading a dangerous life, I was so worried. 

Despite knowing what he was saying was right, I struggle to really believe him. Honestly I didn’t know how to be as composed and forgiving as he wanted me to be. I couldn’t let it slide, I had so much taken away from me. The potential for things to get worse, I didn’t want to think about it. So I focus on what was ahead of me.

Once I’ve said goodbye to Yien and Mrs. Tuan, I head over to the café where Changkyun and the wolves were. The man and I stand there watching each other as Jinyoung and Hoseok go over the plan of the night. Lee Woojin had found where Im Chang Jung was staying and we would be heading on once the plan was set up.

Stood next to Jinyoung was Do Kyungsoo, I watch him as he listens carefully to Jinyoung. The small man was in his late thirties, much like his wife, Hyerin who was also there he was small and cute looking. The pair were going to be helping us, so they patiently listen. Jinyoung was talking to the group, coordinating the attacks. I was half listening and half watching Changkyun. We were in the same situation; we were about to face off against our biological father.

Of course I would love if I didn’t have to see the man ever in my life, after all I had been raised by two other people. I had lived a generally happy life before Im Chang Jung had decided to fuck it all up. The man hadn’t just done my life some harm, according to Do Kyungsoo he had told Changkyun that Im Chang Jung had been the cause of his mother’s death. He had been involved indirectly, and although he hadn’t meant for it to happen. Her death was because of him.

Understandably Changkyun was fuming, he had just found himself finding out something so shocking. He had told me the truth but it seemed that he had held back, apart from telling me that my mother had passed away. There was nothing more told, maybe it was the intenseness of the situation or it could be something else he was hiding from me. I couldn’t think of what exactly, but when he pulls me into a hug there isn’t much talking. 

Before we start off, I get approached by the stranger of the group. Do Kyungsoo the clairvoyant fair pulls me to the side to talk, he had something to tell me. The man apologises for changing things, the man makes an attempt to apologise but right now I didn’t want to listen to him. I wasn’t sure how I felt about him, I towed the line between my dislike and understanding of the situation. So I excuse myself back to join Changkyun.

Things were sort of a blur from that point, and it’s not until I am stood in front of the man who was supposed to be my father. The villain who had been killed, the person who didn’t pay for his crimes. He left this world and I had no control over it. I couldn’t go in time and stop it, but I could punish the man who had been the cause of it all.

The lack of control was something that was continuing to crush me. I had so very little control over what was happening. I had so very little control over everything, I couldn’t bring my father back from the dead after he was so cruelly taken away from me. I couldn’t repair my fractured family, that was struggling to come to terms to all that had happened.

My friends and family had been left in fear, all that had happened had meant that I had quit my job to try and get stronger. Even then, it was so difficult for me to become stronger, to try and control my powers. They were so unpredictable, and so for months I focused on nothing but getting stronger. Ever since their attack, Park Junghwa the mother of my child, had gone into hiding. The woman was still scared of being tracked down by her obsessive ad former lover. She had taken my son and I had heard almost nothing from her for the last couple of weeks, this was frustrating.

Right now I needed to make sure I took care of the villain who had haunted me, he wasn’t allowed to do his to me and my people. So as soon as Changkyun and his wolves secured the exterior of the house and took on the drainers guarding the mansion that Im Chang Jung was staying. I rushed in, Jinyoung and other members of the il proterri were there.

Wooyoung, Yerin, Kunpimook, Chanhyuk and Joongki, they were all there and ready to get rid of their own enemy. Im Chang Jung bought in the drainer council to take out the need of the Il Proterri, he thought he could go against them and incite violence against them. The organisation had dealt with a lot of enemies in the past, but they felt that Im Changjung was the most dangerous of them all.

Once inside of the large mansion located funnily enough near the headquarters of the drainer council, was large sprawling and gaudy. It was large and stuck out like a thumb in the suburb just a ten-minute walk away from the city, despite looking so obvious. They had hidden well, that was until Lee Woojin had gotten some of his loyal drainers to look into the location.

Inside the mansion a group of drainers come at us in waves, but with Jinyoung, the il proterri and his force. I am able to go through that wave of drainers and past Jia who is kept busy by Jinyoung and I can focus on Im Chang Jung. The older man doesn’t seem to hide his identity, he even greets me openly with great confidence.

The man was quite young looking in his appearance, like he hadn’t allowed himself to age in the last thirty years. He still looked to be in his early twenties, his lack of aging probably due to a heavy blood drinking habit. I dread to think of the ways he had procured, with the illegal blood bag business he had set up, I could only keep that dread to myself.

My body goes cold; I feel nothing but chills as I face off against the elderly man. Just the sight of him makes me feel sickened, I wanted to wretch here in front of him. My stomach was in knots, but it seems to settle down as the older man immaturely ties to taunt me.

 

“Son, you’re here” a smug smirk appears on his face, I hated his face, he looked so slimy. “Did you miss you real father?” the man shamelessly baits me. After all he had done, he had the nerve to try and come at me like this? I was struggling to hold it together, to not just end him right there and then. “I’m surprised you made it this far, I guess any child of mine could be strong enough to”-

Unable to hold it inside anymore I push myself off the group and leap at the older man. The red haze that I had when fighting with Goo Junhoe, is red and hazier, I was fully intent on killing the man. A fact that seems to amuse the man across me, a smug smile on his face.

The man dodge and ducks and lands a few punches on me. He was a better fighter than I had expected of him, in his suit he moved around easily. Still in my red haze, I do manage to hit the man more times and deal so tough blows. To my satisfaction it looks like the man was being affected, but I wasn’t satisfied with just some cuts and bruises, I wanted more.

Sensing my fury, the man seems to pick up the pace and dodges more attacks, but that only sends me over the edge. The more he dodged, the angrier I felt. I pursue him more but the man was a smart fighter, he picks out the pattern of my attacks and so he switches things up and bests me a little. It’s something that irritates me until finally losing my patience I shout out at him to stop, the energy pulsing out at him.

Im Chang Jung’s young body freezes; like Goo Junhoe had yesterday he stands before me frozen. My words and actions had been enough to paralyse the elder into his place, his mind and body wouldn’t be working together. I could see the slight flicker of fear in his eyes.

“Why did you do it?” the question leaves my mouth as I try to catch my breath. “Why did you kill my father?” I spit the question at him despite the fact that he could not physically answer me. I had frozen him, but here I was shouting at him questions that I was desperate for him to answer.

“Why did you hurt my family? WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO YIEN” with tears streaming down my face as I yell at the man who should be my father. On my first meeting with him, I burst in front of him. I break down in front of him, the anger the hurt of it all.

Not only was I forced to come to terms with the fact I had essentially been abandoned by him, but he was here trying to ruin me for some sick game. “Why should you be alive, when you’ve taken away so many people that I loved?” I shout at the man in the chaotic room but I could tell he could hear me right now.

Getting no answers from the man, I think it through. Was there really any answer that would satisfy me at all? There was no excuse, and I had to kill him. I was going to end him, he needed to be wiped off of this earth before he could hurt another person. As I’m about to swing, I hear a voice call out that stops me.

“Youngjae don’t do it!” a voice shouts out through all the chaos, the voice belongs to Park Jinyoung. Holding my estranged father by the collar, he was still frozen in my arms and not at all a threat. When I turn around, I spot Jinyoung, the man seemed have subdued Jia. The woman was frozen, she had several of tranquilisers inside of her.

“DON’T DO IT” the man yells once again. “That’s what he wants” the man tries to sincerely pleads with me. “He’ll get his way; he won’t be getting the true punishment that he deserves” Jinyoung spits out desperate to reach me. “He needs to pay for all the people he has killed, the people whose lives he had ruined” he reminds me that it wasn’t just me involved in this. 

“Your family has to see justice!” Jinyoung keeps going, as I think about them all. I think about my mother, I think about my family, and I think about Yien and his mother, they need to take him away. The resolve was breaking, slowly I let go of the collar and slowly starts to back away.

Honestly I was conflicted, it felt wrong pulling away like this. The selfish part of me wasn’t allowing things to be like this. Still, I knew I had to do it this way. The man had to pay for the crimes he had committed, he should spend his life in prison away from the luxuries of his life too.

As I stand with Jinyoung, backing from Chang Jung knowing if I was standing with him I would be too tempted to end him. Stood some distance from the man, I don’t have enough time to process it completely but I see Lee Woojin suddenly come up from behind Im Chang Jung’s paralysed body.

Wrapping his arms around In Chang Jung’s shoulders, he whispers something in the older man’s ear before snapping off Chang Jung’s head off of his shoulder. Just like that, my chance to get justice for myself and my family is snapped off like that and that the villain of the story had just been let off so easily.

Everything after that is a blur, I don’t take notice of what happens after. It isn’t until I find myself back at Yien’s side, cleaned up after my bloody fight. I was going to spend my time next to Yien, and I wouldn’t dwell on what had happened, right now the other man needed me more and for once I would be there with him

Tuan Yien my best friend, the one person who had loved me so much for so many years was in a coma, and the longer it was becoming the more concerning it was. The doctor had expressed that there could be some side effects or complications the longer he was stuck in that state.

It was something that I could sense that the man was hinting at us giving up on Yien, on pulling the plug on Yien. But Yien’s mother had made sure to get that option off of the table during their first encounter, the woman would pay very good money to keep Yien alive. She still held on hope her son would come back to her.

Eventually he did. At first it all felt like a dream, I was getting used to the thought that Yien could be taken away from me. I was clinging onto a little bit of hope about it all, but defeat was starting to get the better of me. I was starting to lose hope, I was losing everything and I was going to lose him.

“Wake up Youngjae” the woman shakes me out of my sleep, I had been lacking a lot of it recently. I had been struggling with everything that had happened swirling through my head, and just this cloud of dread that was looming over my future. Everything was just so uncertain.

When I open my eyes, the first thing that catches my eye is the tearful Mrs Tuan. She wasn’t crying like she had before, she wasn’t full of despair, anger or bitterness. No there was something so joyful about the way she cries out, and it’s not until I look past her to her son lying in bed that I see why she was like this. Sitting up in his bed, tubes and breathing apparatus still inside of him, but past that I could see his eyes were open.

Yien’s eyes light up, I don’t know how long he had been conscious for. But he definitely looked to have up long enough to know where he was and to see who he was with. He was focused on me; his eyes were glued on me. Just like always, there was nothing but the loving I had gotten so used to receiving from him. The elder was back to us, he was in the world of the living, something that I had been so scared was no longer possible.

The shocked doctor, the one who had recommended that we cut Yien off of life support. The man was even more shocked to see that the man’s brain activity was fine, he was fine mentally and the only thing that needed work was his body. He would just need a bit of physiotherapy to work with. So the doctor decides to keep Yien in the hospital to keep a close eye on him. His mother and I relieved, after such so much time worrying about Yien. We weren’t sure how to take it all in, the fact that Yien was awake and that he was fine, or he had the potential to getting back to being fine.

Yien is surprisingly chipper for a person who had been in a coma close to a month. He was bright and cheerful; I couldn’t tell if he was doing it because he knew how serious what had happened to us was. He was smiling, he was joking, he was chipper and unaffected by it all. He was tactile, holding my hand, stroking through my hair.

That night when Yien finally does get to sleep, I sit by his side so worried. Scared that if he closed his eyes, that he might never wake up again. I worry that if I leave his side again, I might not see his bright smile again. But Mrs Tuan instructs me to leave and get some rest at home and come back home. I reluctantly agree as she threatens not to allow me to see him again.

When I finally get home, I’m greeted not only by my worried mother. The woman had been trying to convince me to come home and rest at home more often. But she understood that I wanted to be at the hospital, so she wasn’t forcing too much on me. I was thankful for her and so tonight I actually go home and show my face to her.

In the house and in the kitchen with my mother, was an older brother Choi Junhyuk. It was surprising to the see the older man, last time I had seen him was when I had confessed about who my biological parent was. The man hadn’t been doing well with that news and the revelation of my identity as a drainer. So I was definitely surprised to see the elder.

“Oh good you’re here” the older is surprisingly warm and friendly. It had been the first time in a while since I had seen him this warm and approachable to me. The older man approaches me and pulls me to the living room area to talk quietly. “I’ve been a terrible brother” the older man apologises for his reactions to everything. His reaction to my father’s death, the drainers and my parentage.

“It was all a lot to handle, but it’s like noona says: we’re family” he apologises for being selfish. We hadn’t seen each other for a while, the man had felt badly about what had happened and ashamed that he struggled to come to me and approach me during the tough time I was having with Yien, he felt like he would be no use.

Of course I forgive the man, he was my older sibling. He was my brother, despite the short moment of estrangement, he had been the best brother in other times of my life. The stress of losing our father was something I understood and as long as Junhyuk and I were made up or making up then I was fine with anything that had happened.

Junhyuk stays over for the night, the pair of us catch up and the man is more than happy to hear about Yien waking up. He promises to visit the other man in hospital later on, but for now he encourages me to keep supporting Yien. He comforts me for the difficult time I had gone through, his words and reassurances give me a lot of strength.

Things take a turn for the better from that point on, Yien was slowly getting his health up on watch of doctors. Days were passing and fears that Yien’s health could decline, were starting to disappear away. As he had been since waking up from his coma, he was still cheerful and upbeat about the process of his healing, he wasn’t allowing anyone to dampen his mood.

Much like his mother, the elder was insistent that I didn’t spend all day with him in the hospital. He sets an amount of time that we could spend together in one day, he wanted some personal time away from me. He had set it for all the people in his life, so it wasn’t like that he was left alone in the hospital. I was given a bigger chunk than his mother and friends, but still I was set some hours in the middle of the day to be away from him.

During the day when Yien was working through the physio therapy, he instructs me to go away. He didn’t want me to see him struggle, and I understood him. He had his pride and I had to respect that, although it was hard for me to even think of him as someone who could struggle. The elder had always breezed through his life, making everything he did look easy as pie. It was sad to know that he was struggling at all.

With Yien busy with his physio therapy, I take some time to meet up with Changkyun. We saw each other every day but it was only in spurts, we rarely got to see each other and chat both with busy lives. However, I had reached out to the man feeling that we needed to talk about somethings and thankfully the pack leader had made some time for me in his schedule.

So much had happened since the battle at Im Chang Jung’s compound, we hadn’t really sat down to discuss what had happened and the gravity of it all. The reality was that Changkyun hadn’t even gotten the chance to lay his eyes on the infamous man with his own eyes, he had gotten to the interior of the house too late. By then Lee Woojin, Jinyoung and I were stood above the corpse of the man.

There had been no opportunity to speak to the man, to get all the answers that I’m sure we were both desperate for. It seemed somewhat disappointing attacking him, even though after the death of Im Chang Jung, the capture of Jia and the death of other drainers. The drainer attacks on Mokpo had seriously fallen, the battle at the Im compound had served as a warning to the community.

Not only that but Jinyoung had put forth some effort with the help of Kyungsoo and Hyerin, to try and weed out the suspect characters in the drainer council. He was able to get Hyerin to read the thoughts of all the members in that organisation and for Kyungsoo to look into their pasts. To see if anything dodgy had happened and for a majority of the drainers seemed to have a clean history and were innocent of any misdeeds.

It was a slow process but things were being settled, things in Mokpo were settling down. Enough so that Changkyun and I could just chat, there wasn’t something calling us away or leaving us panicked. We could just sit in the café during one of it’s quiet hours to talk. We catch up on everything. On Yien’s progress, on the pack’s quieter patrols recently.

Changkyun confesses that now he and Hyojin were trying for another child, he and his wife had always held off after Jikyu was born because of the looming threat of Im Chang Jung. The conversation makes its way briefly to talk to Im Chang Jung, and how still weeks after his death there was lots of resentment towards the man between the two of us.

We both had reasons to detest the man and I didn’t think that would disappear soon, but there was something we could be thankful when it came to the man. Were it not for him, Changkyun and I would not be here, and we wouldn’t share this bond that we now knew was a blood bond. So instead of looking back at the past and the things the man had done, we would look forward to the future and becoming good brothers to each other.

As we talk Changkyun expresses his desire to get closer to Jinwoon, the pair hadn’t really spoken after Jinwoon sudden confession of their shared parentage. Jinwoon had known for many years that I was his brother by blood, but as he lay by the Lee Jihyun’s death bed he discovered that Changkyun was also someone he shared blood with.

The older man was definitely shocked, but the fact that he had reached out to Changkyun meant that he definitely had the intention of attempting a relationship with him. It would take some time, but I was confident that if no one put up any barriers, we could make things work.

“Have you heard from Junghwa?” the man asks as the conversation seems to be winding down. I shake my head, I hadn’t heard from her since she had sent me a text message telling me she would be out of town to keep Noah and the baby safe, away from Goo Junhoe.

However sometime had passed, and Goo Junhoe and Im Chang Jung and any enemy of ours was either dead of incarnated. I had hoped if this news had reached she would return, but still I had heard no word from her. “Do you know where she is?” I ask Changkyun, I supposed if he did then he would tell me, but still I was hopeful that maybe he did know.

“Not me… but my wife. I’ll talk to her” the man was sure that Hyojin had known all this time, but to protect Junghwa, she had kept that a secret. Now that things had calmed down, he was going to try and convince his wife to try and talk it out with Junghwa on my behalf. I was hopeful it would work, if Junghwa couldn’t come back, then I could follow her where she was. I needed to be around my son and my child who was on the way.

When I return back to the hospital after meeting up with Changkyun, I run into Park Jinyoung. The man had met up with Yien, he was there to check up on his condition and keep him some company. Now he was on his way out, but he spares me a moment to chat and catch up with me.

The man brings up the progress of Jia and Woojin both being locked up, they were both pending court cases. Both cases had caught the attention of everyone in town, Jia’s case especially as she had been directly involved in the deaths of many people across the world. Meanwhile Lee Woojin was being charged for getting in the way of apprehending a criminal and the murder of Im Chang Jung, charges he hadn’t argued against despite the murkiness of the situation.

Kang Younghyun was signed up to defend Lee Woojin, the man seemed to find something trustworthy in Lee Woojin and was doing his best to defend him. Jia was staying silent about all the charges she faced, she seemed to have lost all her fight once Im Chang Jung had died. She had found herself in a situation he couldn’t escape and she had given up.

“Anyway enough of that stuff, you have someone you need to dote on” the man excuses himself, but before he can go he offers an open ear in the future. He was busy at the moment but I needed someone to listen to me, then he would be there. I return the sentiment too, since the man had returned to Mokpo he had done nothing but help me and I wanted to return the favour for him if he ever needed me.

“You might come to regret that!” the man says with deep chuckle, before waving me away and heading off. I watch the man feeling some admiration for him, a decade ago I had almost died before his eyes and he had handled it with nothing but strength and poise. He was there for me, he was the rock that helped me settle and get use to the drainer life with no complaints. He was what I aspired to be for Yien, to be someone who made the healing period as easy as possible.

That night, Yien and I sit down for our evening meal. The man was in seemingly good spirits since his mother had left, he had insisted that she return to Seattle finding her presence to a bit suffocating. It was a little insensitive considering she had been here for the month he was in a coma and sometime out of it to support him. The older woman had fought hard to keep him alive, but it seemed that they had some unresolved stuff that he wanted to sort out at another time. I was doing my best to respect his wishes, even if I didn’t think it was right of him to do. The man was slowly healing up thank goodness.

Yien had made some progress through his physio and was now able to walk around with the help of a walking cane. He couldn’t walk far, but it was better than he had been doing a few days before which was always promising for me to know. The better he got, the happier he seemed to be and at the end of the day that’s all I wanted. His happiness.

The doctor seeing the progress Yien had made, allows the elder to take day trips out of the hospital under my supervision. So Yien is insistent that we go to the neighbourhood, to the café, to Hoseok’s place and the local park. We would do all the things he wanted to do, after all he had been cramped inside of the hospital and now he was desperate for the freedom.

At the café Yien gets a very warm welcome from everyone, a hero’s welcome cause after all that’s what he was. Changkyun and Hyojin fuss around him, and Jinwoon and Solji are there and join us to chat. Jinwoon was glad to see Yien was up and about the pair soon return to their normal programmed banter. Yien flirted with Jinwoon, and the elder scoffed and berated Yien for being too so bold in front of Solji and I.

Solji gives us an update on life post Chang Jung’s death, life had become a lot calmer for her. The fairs had been doing better the battle we had been through; drainers were still trying to attack fairs but they were able to handle things for themselves. Hyerin and Kyungsoo were based in the pension now. Things were starting to settle down, the woman was back to work and focused on her gym and basically growing the business.

Later that afternoon Yien and I take a walk in the park as he had requested. As we walk arm in arm, Yien enjoys the autumn scenery. The man freely talks about Choi Noah and how he missed him. Junghwa still hadn’t contented me even though Yien had been out of his coma, it was worrying me, but I didn’t know how to find her. Changkyun had claimed that Hyojin and Junghwa were out of contact and there wasn’t much else I could do.

All I could do was worry about her, about Noah and about the child inside of her that way growing. So much time had passed and Junghwa would have to be in the last stages of her pregnancy and that thought was resting heavily on my mind.

“Maybe you should speak to the person who would know where she is” Yien suggests. If Hyojin and Mr Park don’t know where she is or claim they don’t then I couldn’t think of who. “There’s another person” Yien claims, and its not until he mentions the name that I kick myself for not thinking about it in the first place.

Some days later I do manage to meet up with Bobby, the man was always busy but he had managed to make some time for me. “It’s been a while hasn’t it?” the man comments. Honestly we had drifted apart a little, after all things got hectic. Plus, things were awkward as we had never really talked and discussed things.

“Like you sleeping with my wife” the man comments as I try to explain myself. “She was your ex-wife; she is still being” something in me bites back despite being in the wrong. I had broken the unwritten bro code, but still it wasn’t something that I could help at the time.

“You still love her” I note how my comment seemed to have affected the man. “I do love her” Bobby easily cops to it. “Isn’t that messed up? despite me having a very loving girlfriend who I do love and care about. There’s something about Junghwa I can’t shake” Bobby easily confesses.

“She’s someone I can’t let go, but she loves you more than anything” Bobby sulks a little at the last part. “I love her too” I defend myself, I know Junghwa was struggling with her love for me but it wasn’t unrequited. “I know and I know if a certain Mr Tuan didn’t exist, I know you would have explored that” Bobby seemed to understand that I wasn’t trying to purposely hurt the woman that he loved.

“But Yien… pardon the pun but he made his Mark on you before you even met Junghwa” the man thankfully understood. “Is she safe? I don’t need to know where she is right now, but I just want to know that she’s safe” I had been as patient as possible but the question I was desperate to know slips out. “Yes. She’ll be back. Very soon” the man reassures me. “You’re sure?” I ask the man; I didn’t want to get my hopes up. “I will bring her back for you, for me too”, he seemed determined, I could only hope he wasn’t all talk. I missed Junghwa, Noah and I wanted to see them, to make sure both were okay and so I would put my trust into Bobby.

The next day when I return to the hospital, I find that my mother was already and was by Yien sharing a healthy home cooked breakfast chatting away with the man. The woman looked very comfortable and cosy with Yien, a total difference to what their relationship had been a decade ago, it was definitely a sign that things had changed so much.

Whilst on her visit, the woman announces that she had finally sold our family home and was making preparations to move things out. She tells me that she would be having a weekend where all the children of the house could stay over and pick what the belongs they wanted to keep, and choose the ones that could be sold or could be thrown away.

The woman had sold the home, to a young couple. Accord to her, they seemed cute and she was happy to leaving the house in good hands. In the meantime, she was looking for a place of her own. I tell her she could stay in my place but she declines. “You’ll need your place for you and Yien” the woman didn’t want to intrude feeling like what we were going through, she needed to move on and find a space of her own. 

“Don’t hold onto this moment” the woman warns the pair of us. “Try and move on from this” she knew it would be difficult, what had happened was so dramatic and life changing we would always remember it but the woman wanted us not to hold onto it. “I am trying to move and look forward the future” she encourages us to do the same.

Weeks pass and things go back to normal. Yien was walk more, although he still needed a cane, the man was getting better and better. He seemed to be on the road to recovery, he was more independent. So when I want to do things like iron his clothes or clean up after him he tells me to get lost.

On his word I leave, I know the man was doing his best not to show that he was struggling. So I wouldn’t crowd around him and only give him the help when he was willing to ask for it, and today wasn’t’ that day. So I leave the man to do his laundry and head off out to the café.

However, when I do get to the café, I find a surprise or two waiting for me. Sat in the middle of the café was a heavily pregnant Park Junghwa and there with her was our adorable son Noah. In such a short time the young boy had grown up so much, he was taller and bigger. The man spots me immediately and rushes to me calling out my name. The boy was excited, it seemed that he hadn’t forgotten about me at all, he was still just as happy and bright. I had missed him so much, I pull the young deep into my embrace.

As I hug the younger, I look up and see Junghwa watching on tentatively. The woman looked a little uneasy, she doesn’t move from my place sat down. We stay still in our positions watching each other, until Hyojin who had been watching on suggests that we talk in the back office. She would take care of Noah while we talked.

Junghwa quietly follows me into the back of the café, in a quiet office room. As we settle down to talk, we make small talk about the health of the baby. She says she was due to give birth soon, and she was taking care of herself and the baby. After some talking on the baby, the talk settles down.

“Youngjae, I’m so sorry” she apologises, she blames herself for my father’s death, Junhoe was there for her. Mid apology I reach over to her shoulder, and I pull her into me to hug her. I hear her breath hitch, the woman sharply inhales and deeply exhales.

“You made me happy” Junghwa’s body relaxes. “You’ve given me my son, you’ve given my family their grandson, their nephew and cousin” just holding her close was a comforting act for me. I was so glad that she was here, that I could see her and that she was safe.

“Not only that, but I missed you every day” no matter what Junghwa thought, I would always care about her more than the way. “I’m so sorry. I was just so scared you’d hate me” the woman meekly explains. “I don’t hate you” I try to reassure the woman but she was still unconfident. “I know but- “the woman still tries to insist. “I don’t hate you” I continue to insist.

“Look at me” pulling back, I cup Junghwa’s face. “I love Yien and you know I have to try it out with him, or else I’d spend all my life regretting it” I try to explain to the woman. “But I still love you” Junghwa looks truly surprised to hear those words. “I don’t regret anything I’m grateful to you, and for you” I tell her looking right at her.

Once again I pull the woman into a hug and we stand there for a while. Junghwa wraps her arms around me pulling me close and suddenly she breaks down into tears. All the repressed crying she was letting it out, it would be better to get it all out that way we could try to start from a clean slate. One where the mother was happier and healthier for the baby’s sake.

Junghwa reveals that she would be staying in town indefinitely and she would be looking around town for a place to live. She was settling down, and this time round she wasn’t leaving before sitting down with me and talking through it, but for now she would be raising our children in Mokpo.

That afternoon, I visit the academy. It had been so long since I had been there, so many things had changed since I had last been there. I meet and greet with the co-workers who I hadn’t seen for so long. Junhyeok was still there, and still brash as usual. The man berates me for ignoring his calls and barely texting me back, I apologise to the elder.

Still understanding my situation, Junhyeok accepts my apology and we catch up. The man is shocked to hear that I not only had one child, but another on the way. “Whoa, you sneaky bugger!” the man palms my crotch teasing me on being sly. He throws a bunch of questions at me, some very insensitive, but I was used to the elder so it wasn’t a big deal.

Later on, I also meet up with Chaeyoung and catch up with her. The young girl seemed to be doing better. She had a small friendship group. A new student had started the school her name Somi, they seemed to be getting on like two peas in a pod. The young girl had confessed to her new friend about her identity as a drainer, and her friend Somi had accepted her.

When I meet up with principal Shim Minah, the woman checks up on me. Would I be ready to get back to work? For now, I was going to stay on my sabbatical, to have enough time and be there for Yien.

“We’re setting up a after school tutor club for a few hours a couple of days of the week” the woman suggests, I tell her that I would think about it. The woman claims that she believes that the results of her school were much better when I Was around. She tells me to think about it, and get back to her as soon as possible.

When I get home, Yien was there in the living room with her legs up elevated. He was talking good care of the foot that still needed some healing, he was settled down for the night and was eating some food. The man looked happy, he had ordered his favourite food and was watching his favourite trash tv and he had nothing else to worry about.

The man is happy to hear that Junghwa, and Noah were back in town and would be staying. He is excited to see his “favourite guy” he would hopefully see Junghwa and talk over the plans to have the boy over. I’m sure he wanted to talk to Junghwa and reassure that he was fine and not to blame her for what had happened. I give him her new number and we settle down for the night.

As we lay in bed to sleep, the man speaks up and suggest some things we could do. “We should travel if even for a while, I want to see some places with you” the man says being cooped up in the hospital he wanted to be out and free. I assure him that when his leg was fully healed then we could do whatever he wanted.

Once everything feels like it’s going to settle down, I decide to get something that had been lingering in my mind out of the way. In the early morning, I visit the all drainer prison where Lee Woojin was being held. I had called in to visit him, and he had accepted my visit.

When I approach the man in the quite cordoned and sectioned off visitor’s room, there was a glass shield between visitor and prisoners. The man is lead into the room across from me by a tough looking officer. In his neck was a tranquiliser stick. It looked different one that police used to apprehend drainers, from what Jinyoung had told me.

These sticks were just meant to paralyse the drainer briefly, from the neck down. From the head up he could speak to me, he could express himself to me through facial expressions. The man watches me he looks apologetic, he seemed to be unlike the cold monster I had remembered him to be. The monster who out of nowhere had suddenly killed Im Chang Jung.

“Why did you do it?” I dive straight into it; I didn’t want to beat around the bush. “Because I loved him” the answer takes me aback a little. “Then why did you do it?” I ask the man, it made no sense to me.

“Hyung, he wouldn’t want to die in prison” the man explains, but still it didn’t make sense to me. “Then why not take him with you?” if he loved him so much then he could have saved him. “Because if you didn’t kill him, then he wanted me to do it” the man confesses.

“It was something that we had discussed when he found out….” the man’s voice drops off. “Found out what?” I can’t help but ask. “He was sick” the man makes yet another confession. The man was being killed by a cancer, it took longer than it takes most people it should have hit him in his early twenties but being a drainer he put it off.

Lee Woojin still cared about the man and didn’t want him to suffer, he apologises for his actions too. I could tell he was genuine and sincere; he had been so in love with Im Chang Jung that to the end he didn’t want him to suffer. I could understand feeling that way and there’s something about him that can’t allow me to feel any hatred towards him.

So I tell him that Younghyun was going to try and get his sentence shorter for self defense. “You have done bad things so you need to pay a little bit, but it would be good and once you’re done. Do only good things” I encourage the man to truly turn over his leaf and do better in the future.

Once I’m done I head over to a local pub, and I meet up with all my siblings. It was a weekend so all were free and able to come and meet with me. Changkyun, Junhyuk, Jinwoon and Sooyoung are there. Without their partners, it’s just the five of us. Our family was a little different. With Changkyun being blood related to Jinwoon and I, we would make an effort to blend our family together.

The five of us meet to get some drinks and to catch up. Sooyoung complains about how her son was now in university an since he had left the house he rarely contacted her. The woman sulks about it to the amusement of her little brothers, she whines and complains and we tease the woman ducking and dodging her attacks.,

As we leave, Changkyun admits that it was good feeling having a big family like that, having siblings. Even though it was so late in his life, he was so relieved to see things were becoming more relaxed. I assure him from now he would be with his family, he would not be alone again in family.

A few nights later, Jinyoung and Younghyun, Yien and I go for a dinner. The four of us were fine now, surprisingly things weren’t too awkward. The pair were comfortable, Younghyun strokes through Jinyoung’s hair. The pair were doing better; they were comfortable as a couple.

It was as if they had been together for longer than the months that they had been together, it was like they were made for each other. Jinyoung looked in love, Younghyun allows Jinyoung to take control. It was weird watching them, amusingly their love triangle was no longer a triangle.

Yoon Dowoon had gone from being the betrayed ex and best friend, to finding his own partner. He was with another man; he was experiencing the wholehearted love of someone we were all familiar with.

After meeting the man in Busan, Hoseok had reached out to Dowoon, the man who he had imprinted on him. For the second time in his life, the man had gone through the imprinting. He was visiting Busan and trying things out with Dowoon, they were taking things slow and just enjoying things. #

It was strange, but Jinyoung and Younghyun admit that it was a relief for them. It kind of softened the guilt that they had towards their shared person, sure things weren’t fixed between the three of them. That would all come in due time hopefully.

The pair were making plans for travelling the next summer, Sora would be staying with her mother and Bobby in New York so the pair were going to take advantage of their time together. It leads Yien into pushing us on travelling soon, his leg had healed up nicely and he was able to walk without the cane, although sometimes he did feel some pains.

Still Yien was determined to go on a trip. He had even been talk to to Jackson about it, and the Hong Kong man had decided that he wanted to join us. “Should we invite him?” I jokes, I suggest that maybe we should do couple things and gross him out.

“Jackson isn’t easily grossed out” Yien comments, he warns we needed to be careful cause he might curious and want to join in. We laugh and joke about our good friend, the mood in the air was good. For the first time in so long, I didn’t feel scared witless that something back would happen.

Of course that’s not to say that I should let my guard down, but things had calmed down enough that I could actually enjoy things. I could enjoy holding my boyfriend’s hand. The boyfriend who had been with me since the beginning. He had been my comfort through everything, he had been my inspiration without me even knowing.

Yien had helped mould me into the man that I was today and I felt that without him life would have been such a scary world. I believed that If he hadn’t been around, then there was a chance that wouldn’t come out. I would have stayed hidden in the closet believing that who I was, was wrong. But since meeting Yien, I never felt that way.

With his encouragement I had come out of my awkward shell, I got tougher skin, I got a better sense of humour, I got a biting wit. I became more trusting, but I still won some wits. I became this person who I was, all with the guidance of the other man.

The only thing I regretted thinking back was how for so many years I had let my fears of losing the other man get in the way of the love he had for me. In the end that love was so strong, it was love that won out in the end.

That night, with a few drinks in our system we have sex, we connect. Leading the man into the apartment we shared, I wrap my arms around his waist and lead him inside. We had been kissing on and off, we were passionately making out and having lots of fun. Lots of laughing and joking between the two of us, the older is very giggly and cute to watch.

“So are we gonna bone or what?” the man bluntly asks; he teases before stroking through my hair. I wrap my arms around his waist from behind and I pull him close, leaning my head onto his shoulder. “Are you fine to do that?” I ask the man; after all I was still worried about his condition.

“It’s been so long, I’m wondering if maybe my ass has closed up” the man jokes, but it was easy to see that he was getting frustrated by my chivalry. Sensing the elder’s frustration, I slide my hands slowly and teasingly up his shirt, lightly trailing over his stomach, he purrs at my touch.

Pulling back slightly, I reach for the man’s thighs and lift him up off the ground. Yien yelps a little before giggling, his canine like teeth sparkling he laughs into my shoulder. But still, he allows me to take him to the bedroom just down the hall, the bedroom we had been sharing but barely been using for anything but sitting in or sleeping in.

“Thank you” Youngjae reaches his hand back to stroke through my hair, “all of this is more than I deserve”. I nudge him in protest, this was nowhere near what he deserved, and it felt lacking I felt lacking. He chuckles in disbelief when I tell him that, so I reach for the back of his neck and grip at the newly blonde hair, he lets out a gasp.

“You look fucking hot” Yien says with a big grin on his face, as I lay him down on the bed. I straddle him and trap the man in between my thighs. Not that Yien is complaining, he’s far too focused on my face. He is smiling and stroking through my hair, sweeping it up away from my face before leaning in to give me passionate and messy kiss.

As we continue to heatedly kiss on the bed, I feel Yien’s arms wrap around my body pulling me closer to him. His hand slides down my front, he feels at my already hardening cock. His dainty hands reach down past my waistband, his makes his way down to my cock. I groan just at the feel of his warm hand. It really had been a while since we had done it, I was enjoying every moment of it.

I cup his face and capture his lips. Pressing his soft pouty lips onto mine, Youngjae hums into my lips. For a few minutes for the apartment of ours is silent, apart from the sounds of us kissing. The bed creaks a few times as we try to manoeuvre upwards to the middle of the bed, I don’t even have to tell the elder he already knows what I want.

As I pull away from the kiss, my hands go to Yien’s blazer and dress shirt taking them both off and unbuttoning them and pull them off. The man’s newly bright red locks have been messed up, but in this moment it’s the least of the man’s worries. He was so focused on my lips; he leans up to capture my lips once again.

The kiss is passionate, messy and harder, it tastes sweet just like he had always done. Yien’s hands grip at my waist, he pulls me closer to him on top of him. I feel his body on mine, the heat of his body, the feel of his flesh all. The feeling itself is addictive, I quickly start to strip him off and he works on taking some of my clothes until we’re both in some state of undress.

“Top or bottom?” the man asks as we strip each other of clothes, I smile amused the push his naked body done. I start to kiss Yien down his stomach, towards his hip bone. That would be my form of reply, I would reply with my actions. Despite how much he patience I lacked, I take my time for the elder, who I knew enjoyed foreplay.

Kissing and licking I elicit a reaction for him and driving him to the point of being needy for me. I stop teasing and I open up and grab his cock and swirl my tongue around the head of his cock. It wins the reaction that I had wanted from Yien, and so I keep going, taking him deeper and deeper I keep going like that until I hear the man chanting my name.

When Yien goes quiet I knew what that meant, I get up on my feet and walk over to my bedside table. There was the condoms and lubes that I had always kept there, the thought of my mother being nosy and finding them in my drawers when she stayed here mortifies me briefly. But the desire the fuck my boyfriend is enough to distract me from that thought.

Yien who had been so patiently waiting for me grins when he sees me with the lube and condoms. He lies down and prepares himself for me, spreading his legs wide open. He strokes himself slowly, just the sight is enough to get me harder. He looked so sexy, and alluring, and exciting, the way that I had always known him to be.

I climb on top of him before popping the cap of the bottle open. I smooth the liquid out on my finger, the liquid was cool and slick, and without hesitation I start to prod Yien’s entrance. The elder lets out a brief sigh, I can see that he was gripping at the sheet from underneath him, I knew he was waiting for more. I pump the first finger making my way inside of his warm and tight hole, making room for the next finger.

“Yes right there, that’s the spot” Yien encourages me to keep going, I start to scissor my fingers inside opening him up a bit more, the reaction is good though. Yien pushes back against my fingers, silently begging for more. A third finger joined the other two, and it was at that point he becomes louder.

 

"Please fuck me” the elder shamelessly pleads. After working him up this degree, I grin excited. It’s not like he was all alone it too, I was so hot for him, and I was so hard for him and ready to fuck his brains out. Yien seems to know the affect he has over me, the grin on his face is very telling.

“Turn over” I instruct the elder who willing does so. Laying on his stomach, the man sticks out his ass. Reaching for the elder’s ass, I separate his cheeks and pulling him up, I guide myself into his tightness. Youngjae moans underneath me, he slowly allows me inside, a huge grin spreads across his face.

As I roll my hips into him he gasps in what seems like, partially in pain and partially in pleasure. I lean over to check on him, after all it could be his leg but the elder spurs me on. “It feels good”, the man bucks onto the me to further encourage. I groan at the sensation, Yien lies putting his chest onto the mattress.

So by pulling my hips back and start thrusting back in. Yien lets out a grunt, pushing his hips back into mine. Taken aback I groan in response, Yien was clamped down around me, propping himself up on his elbows he turns to look over his shoulder at me. I try to take it slow to give Yien a chance to get used to me, I didn’t want to do too much, and after all we had places to be and people to see.

"Harder," Yien encourages, leaning my head onto the mattress. I reach for his hand, the look on his face seems to say that he was displeased. So immediately I reach for shoulder and pull him back to me, I begin to thrust into me. Youngjae’s jaw drops open and a loud moan that is followed by a gasp. His ass cheeks shake as I thrust into him harder as he had ordered, it seems to satisfy him and I feel one of his hands reach back to my thigh pulling me closer.

Yien wasn’t hiding how much he was enjoying this; I was doing well. I just needed to find the spot inside of him that sent him crazy, I thrust into him harder and harder and moan at how he tight he felt around me. The more I thrust into him, the closer he was to falling down onto his front, I continue to thrust into him winning a vocal reaction from him. I rotate and grind inside of him as a reward.

After a few minutes of rutting inside of Yien, I stand up and move the red head onto his side. He lays there watching me with a smile on his face. I reach over and grab his lead placing it over my shoulder before I suddenly push back into my boyfriend and at the same time I grab his erection.

“Yes” gasps gripping at the sheets behind him. I start up pumping his cock now leaking with precum, whilst moving my hips to slam into Yien’s warmth. Mouth wide open, his trademark canines sparkle out at me, he lets out a long moan that encouraged me to keep thrusting into him. The look in his eyes, I knew there wasn’t long to go, Yien was close to coming.

Harder and faster I thrust into him and all that can be heard for a few minutes is the slapping of skin and Yien was already moaning in my ears. I keep thrusting inside of the man until I spill out inside of him. I continue to slowly rock into Yien riding out my high, and even my weak state I hope to help Yien into coming.

Yien bucks back into me, I lean down and kiss Yien softly continuing to pump his length. Yien’s moans get higher pitched over the time, before suddenly he grunts and comes out of my hand. He flops down onto the mattress, and I flop right next to him slowly pulling myself out of him, I grin lazily my eyes drooping and slowly I fade away.

“I just might not be able to walk anymore” the older man teases as we lie in bed, once we have finished making love. It was the first time in a long while that we had gone the whole way, everything seemed to be lighter and brighter. He was in good spirits and that’s all that mattered right now.

Yien is the first to sleep that night, the man had quite an active day today. He got tired quicker nowadays, I understood he was working harder to steer himself back to the man that he was before. Unable to sleep, I sit by his side stroking through his hair, I think about my future and my plans. If the elder was working at getting back to his old self, then I should probably be starting doing the same.

In the middle of my thoughts for the future, I receive a phone call in the middle of the night. “YOUNGJAE ITS HAPPENING!” it was Mr Park, the man was loud and excitable. In the back ground of the call I could hear yelling, it Junghwa and she was in labour.

Immediately I’m up on my feet and rushing to get dressed, as I move around I must wake Yien up. That hadn’t been my intention, I had wanted to sneak out and be there with Junghwa and call Yien later when he woke up. But he was awake and concerned.

So I try to reassure him as best as I could. I didn’t know how long it would take, so I instruct the man to get his rest and when the baby was here. I would call him to come over. Seemingly tired, Yien seems to agree with this and settles back to sleep. I kiss his forehead and I rush out to the hospital.

Hours later after a stressful birth, Park Junghwa finally gives birth to a little precious girl. A younger sister for Noah, the little girl is named Choi Rose once again Junghwa names the baby after the doctor who helped her give birth. I have no complaints about the name, as long as both mother and child were fine then I could have no complaints.

Junghwa was tired but thankful, there were no complications. The baby was healthy, she was quiet though, and being fed she goes to sleep. As does her mother, and as Junghwa sleeps. I cradle the little life in my arms, I didn’t want to close my eyes. I didn’t want to let go of her she was precious. She was my world, she would be someone who I was going to put myself on the line for, my dearest Rose.

The Next morning, Junghwa was still tired from the birth. She had been up a few times to feed the baby, but she was sleeping as was the baby. So whilst both mother and daughter sleep, Yien and I take Noah for a short walk around the hospital to keep him busy, he was excited. He was an older brother and he had a list of things he was definitely going to do as a big brother, he was very dedicated to protecting the new family’s maknae.

After a short walk, we return to Junghwa’s room, she was still asleep. The baby by her side was deep in her sleep. She was a very chilled and peaceful baby, didn’t cry too much and just seemed loving already. I watch the pair of them unable to rip my eyes away, no matter what Junghwa was still someone who set my heart racing, I fluttered for her.

“It makes nearly dying worth it, seeing both of them like that” I turn to Yien confused at how he could feel that way. “For Junghwa, I know how you feel about her, and I know losing her would have hurt just as much as losing me” the man nonchalantly comments.

“It would have hurt me too” Yien adds, confusing me. “I don’t know if I could have watched you like that? and I couldn’t live with Noah’s mother getting hurt” the man had no regrets at all that had happened, not the coma or struggling to get the ability to walk again.

“This thing we have, this connection. It’s not normal” he talks about how I was in love with two people at the same time. He knew that I loved Junghwa, but that I also did love him too. “it’s good and I can live happily as long as you’re happy” the man fluffs me through my hair.

“So do me a favour?” the man asks. “What?” I ask. “Be happy. And if you’re not happy, come to me” the man and I had that kind of relationship all along. At the end of the day he was the person I went running to when I was suffering and he was the person who made me happy.

“That’s all I can ask for, that and a cute puppy” the man says with a cheeky smile on his face. “A puppy?” I ask the man confused. “Well if she gets your kid, then I at least deserve your puppy right?” the man reasons before bursting into his high pitched laughter. The man’s logic wasn’t exactly solid but if its what he wanted then I’d oblige him. I was a easy, as long as as he was happy.

“You know it’s not the end” Yien says as he watches over the new bundle of joy with Noah. “Sure things were calm for now, but it just means we’ve finished one chapter and we’re onto our next” the man says with a hopeful smile. Looking around the room at Yien, Noah, Rose and Junghwa, I can only hope that this chapter is less harsh the one that had just preceded us. I was willing to fight to protect my family, but if I could avoid it then I’d be sure to live a happy life…


End file.
